My journey in NS

1. Recruit, 3rd Section, Orion Company, School 2, Basic Military Training Centre (02/07)

2. Transport Operator Trainee, ST Kinetics Driver Training Centre (Frame 19/07-08)

3. Communications Systems Operator Trainee, Signal Institute (01/07 Infocomm 1 Operator)

4. Communications Systems Operator, Node Operations Centre, Node 32, 1st Trunk Communications Company, 3rd Signal Battalion, 3rd Singapore Division

5. Signaller / Transport Operator, Operations Cell, Battalion Headquarters, 804th Battalion, Singapore Infantry Regiment, 3rd Singapore Division

Election fever.

May 8, 2011, will be etched in the annals of Singapore history for it marked a watershed General Election, with a unprecedented 82 out of 87 seats contested, a younger electorate, ageing population, many issues contested, and for the first time, the massive (and generally clean) use of social media in campaigning.

Results-wise, it was even more... impactful. The opposition Workers' Party have managed to capture a Group-Representation Constituency (Aljunied), or 5 seats, away from the ruling People's Action Party. They have also retained their former stronghold of Hougang, which netted them one more seat. At the same time, veteran Member of Parliament Chiam See Tong has lost in his attempt to go for a GRC, and his wife has also lost the party its seat in Potong Pasir Single-Member Constituency. Tin Pei Ling, much flamed by netizens online, was elected to Parliament, and at the same time, we have lost a very capable Foreign Minister in George Yeo.

My feelings on this are truly mixed, so much to the point that I have become a tad blank in my head and heart. Certainly, the costs of this election has been heavy for more voices in Parliament, and perhaps the Westerners will see us as more accomodating in terms of human rights and media freedoms (hey, even the local media aired some dissenting views this time round) after this election. Whatever. But now, all parties know they need to work harder to build up their support base, and for those elected to Parliament, work together to serve the interests of all citizens. These are big words, but I sure hope it will happen.

And out on Facebook, I feel like I've been championing the spoilt vote option, running around to defend the stand against some of its detractors. Hmm... as much as it is an exercise in futility.

Else. It's over now, we will wake up to a new reality tomorrow. And... life goes on. All the thoughts have evaporated from my mind. WATERSHED.

Of Election Rallies again.

This is my second, and probably the last election rally I shall attend before polling starts and school begins in earnest. I went to the PAP rally back at Mountbatten to see what it was like, and compared it to NSP's in the same place. From my FB page:

Comparing with NSP rally, also same place: Audience estimates 600-700 vs 1500-2000. Hardcore supporters: 50% vs 25-30%. PAP rally had heavier police presence and was more (?) brightly lit. PAP rally had chairs! Anyway, Lim Biow Chuan was a ...calm, collected speaker compared to Jeanette Chong-Aruldoss' fiery attacks on him as well as government policies.

He made a few comments on the turnout, which were, in my opinion, wrong because it was vastly different from that of the opposition's turnout two nights ago. He compared track records, focusing on what he had done for the community, and slamming his opponent for not doing anything. Ms Chong-Aruldoss, IIRC, saw 'track record' as more of the number of elections contested.

There is some truth in his statements however, and I wonder if NSP has actively worked the ground prior to the GE, because to recent memory, they have not done anything either in MP or Mountbatten, etc etc. You do need guerilla warfare to build up a support base for yourself... but I pray you can overcome the barriers set against you.

That said, there was a significantly higher amount of older people in the audience tonight compared to the younger listeners at NSP's rally. Mr Lim Biow Chuan also had the aid of several (?) former MPs who spoke up for him, in Mandarin and Teochew.

Mr Lim also spoke out against the various NSP policies. Especially their defence agenda, something which I, a proponent of a strong military, also do not agree with. Anyway, it was an interesting comparison. If turnout indicated voter numbers, then it would seem like PAP would lose Mountbatten. Haha... but that is obviously not the case, the rain notwithstanding.

Both sides make valid points about policies and opponents, and at the same time, there were little faults here and there in their speeches. Who will emerge the winner? We will find out, in 72 hours' time.

Oh, and the news about the woman making a scene at this rally travelled so fast! Live news telecasting indeed.

Of Cambodia, and Election Rallies

Once again, many things have happened since the last post. In greater detail today, I shall reflect upon my community service trip to Cambodia, as well as the first election rally that I have attended.

On to Cambodia. Upon arrival, and our initial itineary (lunch at a restaurant, touring of shopping districts), I felt more like a tourist than someone who was out for social work. Especially since all of our meals were in restaurants that only the middle or the higher end of the middle class could afford. This of course denied us the chance to taste authentic, local Cambodian cuisine, but then again the hygiene standards of the restaurants are better, so in retrospect it eliminated the risk of us coming down with food poisoning - though I personally do wish that cheaper options were explored.

As we got down to helping out at the Veal Village school (details on Facebook), I saw first-hand for myself how different the children in Cambodia were from those in Singapore. They supposedly come from the lower income groups too (not all, but those dressed more simply are usually the identifiable ones), including eight orphans supported by SOID, the organisation we were working for. First up, the children were very innocent, and trusted us easily. By the second day they were poking us, and allowing themselves to be carried (I did not carry and children because I still have this irrational fear of doing so)... by the last day, hugs were the norm of the day. It was easiest to bond especially during the breaks when all of us played games with the kids, like Eagle vs Chicken, human tug-of-war, catching, kicking ball, and the like.

And this brings me to the second difference. Their 'sense of community' is very strong. Perhaps it is in the Cambodian culture to treat guests/fellow peers this way, but whenever the ball went out of the bounds the children were the ones who reached the ball first to bring it back into play, except when it got too dangerous and either Chris or myself would hold them back and retrieve the ball ourselves. Also, when you fell, they'd come up and dust you off! This doesn't happen in Singapore, for sure. And they take falls and hard knocks as if they were nothing. Several times I see children fall head over heels while kicking the ball; they simply giggle, pick themselves up, and continue playing. A similar fall might "incapcitate" a Singaporean child of the same age.

Coming back to Singapore and facing the paranoia again did made me feel sick. The innocence of the children really appealed to me, and for the first time, I discovered what unconditional love was (apart from that shown by your parents). This was because I felt an apparent disconnect between my effort and the gratitude they showed back to me. Even though I probably contributed the least amongst my English sub-group (I am better at tutoring small groups, not the whole class), I certainly hope I left an impact, however minute, in their minds. It is their sincere smiles that have left the deepest impression in my heart.

I was also drawn to Evia's own, almost child-like innocence, and I realised it probably helped her connect best with the kids. They loved her! Comparing to myself, I see that I maintained a small little barrier with them (not so much with the boys, they rocked!). Thea (aka Whitley), Vin (one of my 2 fave boys from afternoon Intermediate, that little rascal), San (Nice girl who painstakingly traced drawings for us all)... the big sister (Sreysos?)... these are some of the names I remember. But 3 days is not enough. I would think a month or two might be better, but we have little time to spare as a result of the packed timetable. As I speak, there will be lessons for us again tomorrow.

This was where the cynicism came in as well. I doubted our impact, and at the same time, wondered if any money was being leaked out into the pockets of the Director, or whoever else involved in the project. This is because corruption exists everywhere, even in Singapore. The thought was indeed bandied around, and I suppose we will never truly know. With that said, I once again pray and wish that our lessons have had some impact on the children. They are Cambodia's future and I certainly hope to see the country grow and prosper, and contribute even more fruitfully to the ASEAN partnership.

The farewell was sad, but I couldn't cry. I had no idea why, I was just emo(tional) and fighting internal turmoil, but I never cried. Many of our teammates did, as did some of the children, despite the fact that foreigners do visit from time to time. Whether they are numb to this or not, I'll leave it aside, but the last simple act also shows the human side in all of us, that we have a heart. Like the talk I had with Lydia later on, I suppose these children did more for us on this trip than we did them. They opened our eyes to a world, so deprived from ours, yet so rich as well. Despite the searing heat of the sun I'm sure a lot of us did not want to leave the place.

One unique experience that this city boy has to blog about is riding on a bike. I've never ridden one before, so when I first sat on it for a ride back to the hotel, I gripped the rider's shoulders, then the two handrails behind me pretty tightly. Charlene and Younghee commented that I looked tense. So I slowly let go, and tried to just sit on it with my hands free. It got rather scary when turns were executed though. Nonetheless, it was an exciting and windy experience for me, speeding down the unlit roads of Siem Reap past midnight. I even managed to hold a conversation with the Khmer rider, and he slowed down to a safer speed so that we could talk. Unique experience indeed! You can find my photo albums on Facebook for further reflections.

Ok, on to election rallies. With the General Election coming on May 7th, various parties have been going around the island, speaking to people, making statements in the media, etc etc. The deluge of information is simply a lot to bear, and upon my return from Cambodia I felt like being politically apathetic. Still, I finally dragged my ass down to see what a political rally was like. I reached the NSP (National Solidarity Party)'s rally at the Mountbatten area 1.5 hours after it began, the police and Traffic Police had secured the area and were doing vehicle and crowd control. It was pretty hard to park, but I managed to sneak a spot along a road rather close to the rally location itself. So off I went, on foot.

By my estimates, the crowd tonight numbered roughly 2000, with perhaps 25% NSP supporters who were gathered close to the stage. Further away were quiet onlookers (yes, I went in and out of the entire area about twice). Not too sure if the people really believed in NSP policies, were paying lip service, were just there for the fun of it, or just because they disliked the PAP and supported anyone who came fighting. Or perhaps they were all of the above. Anyway, the various speakers did quite a good job of riling up the emotions of the crowd, although it was predominantly the NSP group closer to the stage that made most of the noise. There were few Malay listeners, because the cheers were conspicuously missing when the last few speakers spoke in Malay. Of course, unpopular policies and the increasingly arrogant statements made by our PAP politicians did bring about boos from the crowd, but I felt their speeches were half of mudslinging, and then half on their own solutions and policies which they promised they would carry out, or bring to Parliament for debate.

Personally, I don't agree with every policy solution they have, or only agree in principle (foreign workers - evaluating each industry on a case-by-case basis to find out which ones are unpopular and can be filled by foreigners - effective, but not very efficient). They did not mention their defence policies while I was present, but based on news reports I believe they also want to downsize the armed forces a bit, although not as vehemently as SDP (Singapore Democratic Party). I'm not a policy expert, but yeah, those are my personal opinions. With that said, since I do choose to go down the journalism line in the future, and journalists are not supposed to take sides, I wish to, in a professional sense, remain respectfully neutral and observe and record proceedings as they happen.

Other issues bandied about during this rally was the allegation that PAP tore down some of Steve Chia's posters, the GRC system, and the overwhelming popularity of Nicole Seah. When she arrived, having recovered from her bout of gastric flu, there were loud rounds of applause and catcalls. I must say that having seen her in action personally, she is indeed a very good speaker. In the more neutral tone I prefer, and not the attacking ones the other NSP candidates used. Though for lack of content, she did bring up a story about her experiences with tuition in her younger days. As a journalist-wannabe, what I can safely observe right now, after stripping away all those promises and big words whooshing over our heads, is this: The shift in electorate demographics has prompted the opposition to take up the challenge of facing the ruling party in (almost) all the constituencies. The young are more aware now, and it is online that a lot of debates have arisen, as well as articles and statistics that support the views of each side.

This is indeed a watershed event, and I wonder how well the opposition would fare this time round.

And thus ends this post.

Two months! Boy, am I getting lazy.

I have not blogged for two months. Earlier yesterday I handed in my last assignment for the trimester which stretched into the holidays... so I'm officially free now. Rushed out 2400 words' worth of nonsense, hopefully of enough quality to secure me a credit grade within approximately 72 hours, with most of my effort spent on the last 24.

Anyway... I don't know what to blog about. Let my thoughts flow as they come along.

Hmm.

So... I've cleared my assignments, become more last minute, been through some emotional turmoil, this and that, but otherwise kept sane by the group of friends around me. Slipping back into geekiness, cosplaying - new gear yay! And stuff.

I met up with my orientation group mates for dinner and long chitchat after submitting my assignment. These were the first people I met in junior college - it has since been 7 years since we knew each other. How time flies, isn't it? And the last time I saw them, it felt like ages ago. I suspect, at least 3 or 4 years.

The girls are graduating/have graduated already. Stephanie, ever the pretty and sexy lass, is going to work at EDB, and Elaine the pint-sized wonder (I'm terribly sorry if you all are offended by my descriptions, hehe!) is going to work at MINDEF, a secretive research job! Hmm! My antennae are tingling.

Shiqing, our OGL (notice I'm not bothering to explain the terms) is already working in the banking sector, while Carey is doing something akin to a PR practitioner. Denys is majoring in History at NUS, Mark is waiting to enter NUS, and both of them are under the University Scholars' Programme. Which kind of leaves me, again having chosen this path, I do feel left out, and again the realisation hits me that I'm not as worldly as I think I am, because I have been inside Singapore far too long, sans the overseas trips I had up till JC.

It's just a chip on my shoulder that I've been carrying for damn long.

The girls have mostly gotten attached save for Audrey, who's still searching for her passion (and maybe that special someone...). None of us boys are attached, but I believe Denys and Mark would, eventually. Can't say the same for myself.

Oh, and I made the Faculty Commendation List, (Science and IT) for 2010. Wow... really pleasant surprise. I guess this is the so-called "Dean's List?" An awesome bonus, don't think I will make it again. Will try to do my best, though, and yes, just had to show off a bit didn't I? Heh.

Ending my blog on a deliberately short and messy note.

Wow, I've left this dead for a month or so.

And so it has come to pass. One whole month - okay, 25 days to be exact, but yeah that's already being pedantic.

As usual, most of my thoughts that I wanted to type in here have long since vanished, so I shall put in what is pertinent here.

Firstly, is Chinese New Year: I don't know for you, but the magic has decreased significantly for me this year. I used to wake up to a feeling of euphoria on the first day of CNY (or Lunar New Year, to be politically correct), but this year was just... normal. Doing the same old things, seeing relatives, filling them in on which stage of life I am at, so on and so forth. The few of us younglings meet regularly so this is yet another meetup somehow. I even don't care about the red packets anymore - if the relatives want to give it to me, fine, I'll take it with their blessings. If not, then whatever, it doesn't matter. Adding to the gloom and doom is the fact that I've noticed a lot of my relatives look older now. My Dad, my uncles, both grandmothers... my aunts, so on and so forth. Sigh.

We cousins met up to watch Kelvin Tong's "It's a Great Great World" on Day Two of CNY. Suffice to say, it was just a normal movie. Nothing really special. Too unbothered to review it now.

Enough of the bitching and whining. Time for some good news.

I PASSED IPPT AFTER PHASE ONE! 8 sessions, netting me $88.80 worth of half-day pay from MINDEF, and the $100 incentive for "PASSING WITH INCENTIVE". It took me some effort to actually do it, because my muscles weren't ready somehow (!) and I managed only 7 chin-ups (8 would have made my time a whole lot easier), 219 cm standing broad jump (whew!), 10.4 seconds shuttle run, 41 sit-ups and 12:06 for my 2.4km run (my fastest in a long while!). The pain lasted me the whole of four days before I recovered. So much for not warming up and cooling down at all.

Next would be school. I feel like I've been slacking a lot and once my body hits the bed... I fall asleep for hours at a go. I can't take no naps now and its heavily impacting on my productivity. At the same time, I feel my memory, both short- and long-term has been decreasing - am I seeing the onset of dementia at this age? God I hope not. But I've been feeling really dumb these days and taking longer to recall things.

Speaking of dementia, my 4th Uncle (paternal) went missing recently. He's only 50ish, but he retired early. Then came his dementia. But it struck in the worst possible way because he drove out (I suppose the wife couldn't argue against his stubbornness?) to meet a friend, but never made it. Instead he went missing for approximately 48 hours. He doesn't remember where he parked his car, but later claimed he drove around and 'saw big ships'. The cops found his car at 4am the next morning in Loyang. He was found a few hours earlier in Hougang in the vicinity of his former primary school. It saddened me to see this happen, and I realise dementia is one of the shittiest illnesses you can have in old age, because it robs you of your personality, and your memories, of experiences and of all the people around you. It's very very sad... and makes one a shell of their former selves. I hope to hell I don't get this, only way is to keep working. But, as I mentioned above... it seems like my intellectual faculties are losing their efficacy. Or maybe I'm a hypochondriac.

For Council, it's been up and down. The biggest thing is letting go and letting my subcommittees run their thing. I don't know, but I feel incompetent sometimes. I think I need to reinforce my psyche with this line from Starship Troopers: " 'So? Well, that's not what you are accomplishing. You are stirring them like a nest of wild bees. Why the deuce do you think I turned over to you the best sergeant in the Fleet? If you will go to your stateroom, hang yourself on a hook, and stay there!... until ‘Prepare for Action' is sounded, he'll hand that platoon over to you tuned like a violin.' " (Heinlein, R.A., 1959). Which probably means to hand it over to my VPs while I worry more about decisions at command level. But it's been hard to do it, and sometimes, I procrastinate... gosh.

And lastly, on matters of the heart:

I've got something I want to confess. I still have some feelings left for _____ that goes beyond friendship. Someone once said that a friendship between a male and female usually involves some sort of repressed feelings from one or both parties, and it is certainly true. I do have it. Both of desire, and of... admiration. I sort of wish we could be together but I don't think it will work out even if I bend over backwards - it takes two hands to clap. I get all possessive for no reason and I spend time - I just suck like that. It's too bad, it's just too bad, and I need to get this off my chest so I don't care if you see this.

Blah. Yet another eye candy that I cannot go after, just like the many others that I could only watch from a distance.

Okay. So leadership camp was over and there were several touching moments, plus I learnt a tad bit of new stuff. I finally slept in the classroom, managing to keep warm only because of my towel and Vicky's sleeping bag which I shared. Although I'm insecure about myself and keep my barrier up, it feels good to see my work reaffirmed through such testimonials. So this wasn't a useless exercise after all.

End of post.

The slow burn begins. The heart is torn and yearns, and feelings linger.

See, I've been too busy with work and going out and council business to actually tend to my little baby right here.

As such, a lot of things I had to mind to blog about have once again left my mind.

Well, what can I say? Council meetings have come, fast and furious, and we just pulled through with the first event of the year, our Movie Marathon Challenge 2011. Fine execution, although professionalism needs to be upped, but horrible turnout. That said, I'm still glad that those who turned up did, and stayed with us throughout. Our collective effort wasn't wasted!

On a side note, I've discovered an awesome new getup to cosplay in. Something like Sylvester Stallone's character in The Expendables, running around with a beret. YEAH!

Then... I moved on to Remedial Training for my IPPT. It's a bitch, and I hurt bad. First briefing session was kind of lame but necessary for the older reservists, I guess. But the second session when we actually exercise, ooh, there came the burn. Goes to show how unfit I am.

- 30-minute endurance run: I clocked 10.5 rounds of running non-stop and walked half a round, so I roughly covered 4.4km.

- Calisthenics:

   -> Buddha claps, seated and standing

   -> Alternate leg thrusts

   -> Crunches

   -> Plank (we did only one)

   -> Jumping Jacks

   -> Push-ups/Diamond Push-ups

   -> Flutter Kicks

   -> Tug Jumps

...and some others. We did 3 sets of those. Including warm up and cool down plus time for in and out-processing, the whole thing lasted 2.5 hours.

And there we go.