Nut Says

Well, yea... Today went to church at usual time..Hate the wooden pulpits, damn hard and no space for my legs...Bought the margret drive nasi lemak tt i had for 2 years when in QSS and went home.. Slack around again. Watch house of the dead at 6, pretty much a senseless show, pay per view tv.. 4.50 only aiyah nvm...Then ate dinner.. Slack more, watched fulham vs bolton. When i buy fulham to win i got the odds at 2.50 i went wth. After watchin the first 20 min i went WTF lol.. fulham scored 2. Ending the match at a 2-1 scoreline. Then the manutd match, i bought manu to win at 1.55. First 3 min i WTF again, west ham lead 1-0 at ht. But at ft manutd win 1-2 lol.. Strange la, wan copy chelsea is it? h-a win lol.. Oh well, im not complaining. On sat won Chelsea -1.5 , they won 2-0. Only lost one match, frankfurt v sturgatt, 1-1 draw ... gah...
This is what i bought

Portsmouth v Chelsea 0-2
1/2 Goal
Chelsea -1.5 @ 1.81 $50 to win $41 Won $41

Fulham v Bolton 1-2
1 x 2
Fulham Win @ 2.5 $50 to win $75 Won $75

Westham v Manutd 1-2
1 x 2
Manutd Win @ 1.55 $50 to win $25.5 Won $26

Frankfurt v Stuggart 1-1
1 x 2
Stuggart win @ 2.03 $50 to win $50 Lost $21 thx to *ahem* my gd friend ^ ^

Well won $40 + $26 + $75 - $21 = $120
Fall short of target by $30, but doesnt matter i so far have won $200.. 50% of a psp...

Well, drank the small 50ml bottle of mandrine absolut cos i felt like havin a drink. No im not sad, jus that, have a drink la nth wrong rite? once in a long long time. Besides, i know how to moderate and have self control. However the mandrine taste like some cleaner... lol ok, am high now , but not drunk. Feeling much warmer and gonna turn in soon. Night

-Such good memories as friends but now, am i sure that we are still friends?-

Rest day again, woke up late . finally.. rest. Slacked arnd till later afternn, watched devil's advocate again. then went to slack futher. Went for a run at 5pm, lovely 50 min run =D. Went home rest, then chiong 1 lvl of ro before woe. Dinner then WOE (War of Emperium, like a guild war). Woe was crazy..running around trying to get a cas. Got a cas 4 times but lost 3 times? Finally got a cas at the last minute. Then had a raid and arrested a whole guild for some funny reason that there was a mole in the GM team from tt guild..And amazingly the GM team has a mole in their guild too.. Wu Jian Dao o.O? Infernal affairs lol..Over the past few days, did a simple wp i think.. i still am too noob at fotoshop but i luv fotoshop. Wun tink abt anytin but the stupid image =D Heres it















Now, jus finished supper...ordered nuggets.. Finishin my coke then ill be headin off to slp..

-What ever i done, i wished i never had done it. A 3 month time lapse would be nice-

Tired, went to sch and for the first time i brought all my 3 books cos i was stoned in the morning and didnt know what i was doing. Boring day, only thing interesting was CRS. Put in 40% effort to try to listen to NETF and i dont know what was going on anyways. Past few days playing around with photoshop cos im bored, and im not playin any games at all. Also hangin out at the ICT forum while photoshoppin lol.. spam. From 40 odd posts to 100 in 2-3 days. Anyhow my photoshop came up with my first wp and a lousily extracted sig.
Goin to slp now, early cos im
a) tired
b) Tml DMBS starts at 830am.

I've recovered without a drop =D Recovery time was 29 days. Kind of long... longer then expected. However things aint going so well so to speak. Still aint talkin and i dont know whats my problem but now there are two things that makes my smile disappear instantaneously. One, Two *shrug* what doesnt kill me makes me stronger eh?

-nuT-

Got bored at nite, thus spent 40min doin signature..20 mins on figuring out stupid photoshop and 20 mins throwin things together. Ended up with this

Well, overall poor day, wasnt feeling all that good.Had 2nd GM for FO camp next year. Drafted into welfare committee. Anyone got taiji come find me le lo... After that went to long john at thiong baru to eat dinner. Im tryin for a damn PSP. LET ME WIN A PSP! Well nth i wanna say abt my day today, loggin.

-Am i on the road to recovary? Or am i lost somewhere in between.-

Rules Of The Game:
1. Post 5 weird/random stuff about yourself
2. At the end of your post, list the names of 5 people whom you want
3. Next, leave a comment `you are tagged` in their blog and ask them to read your blog for rules.

5 weird/random stuff about me:
1) Im weird/random
2) I love to run 1 round a 400m track in the afternn if i feel like no matter what im wearing
3) Friends > Games, just tell me when to stop.
4) Im half old fashioned
5) Im noisy but not on my feelings

5 people I want to do this: laineet, 3 other people that see this and bother to do this, one more..the one i tink abt, damn.

Well, as you can see im bored. Went to sch at 830 for 8am lesson cos i woke up at 8am. I tot my phone rang as an alarm set but 30 mins later i remembered i didnt set my phone on alarm lol.. pick up it was daniel. Sry i was late, no motivation for school. well VB was half fruitful. The teacher teaches slow, for once im faster then the teacher. Left half way for a coke, then saw SB club having talentime (what ever is SB?) They had horrible pa systems. Moniter on the floor to let the public hear. FAIL! So muffled up, must be an old dieing speaker. Went back in then CJ ask me go out again he wan buy coke -_- wth ask him jus now he nv reply, come back then he ask me go. Go go lo.. first guy for the talentime was quite good only he didnt pull to the sibei high part of the song which was optional, doubt he could do so anyway. Went back and damn, saw her walkin back from toilet. Cj went up to talk i went in straight away.. Then lunch and ideas. IDEAS IS USELESS! Spent 2 hrs doing nth, daryl came back halfway for sum grp meeting. Finish then NetF. Went out for air and saw her out there again @#%%!$^ then i walk away to the toilet even though i dun need to go ... Blah blah after netf goin hme i go out back door see her open front door -_-;. Then timing so zhun de, she run off past backdoor i turn back in~ lalala. Make tings easier mah, dun see me can le...Im not avoiding anyting, i sense something, and ill follow what i say till crap happens. So there nuff said , im gonna play WE9 now.

-What i say is killing me, but cant be selfish now cant i? Its not strong in my blood.-

Battle royale 2, Deuce bigalow 2,Welcome to mooseport, the waterboy. Watched these four movies today. Today spent the day at home.. Came hme frm church then watch BR2.. After which i almost fell aslp but then cj call me ask me abt sum nick problem.. of which i help him check and explain..Then went to watch Deuce bigalow 2.. Then watch Welcome to mooseport and ate dinner at the same time. Then waterboy until now.. remember the one where adam sandler acted in? About american football. The recent one was the longest yard..Which got me tinkin again..tt was such a perfect day, studin for tbcm...

Later sch starts at 8am, stupid GEMs class on astro navigation. i dun gif a damn anymore, can fail for all i care. What do i care for? Friends? The people i like? Family? well, pretty much. i wont stop caring even with the knives people thrust in my back. Well, maybe for one or two exceptions which is seldom.. Though it doesnt seem i care or bother, i do =) . Maybe its my weakness, im too weak. Maybe i should give up and die after all, with all those knives in my back. Stop caring. Thats what i tell myself. But i keep caring automatically. Damn i weak... Ive changed so much since SP. I look at myself in the mirror and dont know who i am anymore.

-The longest yard...a damn long one too...-

Im late for bed crap... left 5.5 hrs of slp.. Oh well this is what i bought today

Wigan v Arsenal 2-3 1 x 2 Arsenal $30 1.67 Win - $20.10
Charlton v ManUtd 1-3 1 x 2 Manutd $30 1.62 Win - $18.60
Lpool v portsmouth 3- 01/2 Lpool -1.5 $40 2.0 win - $40
Score2-1 $5 8.5 Lose
SummaryTotal Placed - $105
Total Won - $178.70
Total Return - $73.70

Got $73.70 back from SP, back to my old ways, money. Whats the point of this money, i dont have the mood for much things, also nothing in mind to spend on. Spent the day at hme resting. Watched tv pretty much the whole day and i just finished watching battle royal while msn-in. Had a proper conversation with elaine, the sec one chair-meh =p. And now im here. Everyone has their ups and downs. Thats all i have to say.

-Bastards, touch my friends and ill make you pay.-

Question, What am i really like? Whats my true identity? Does it matter if im nt arnd?

VBAS and OPSY day. Chiong VBAS until the teacher tell us to slow down..She keep repeatin the same stuff..When i wanna learn they go slow. When im havin fun they go fast. Difference btn this and last term. Everythings different, how can i have fun now? So i try to pay attention in class. So far i only listen to VB and DBMS and maybe CRS. IDEAS is crap. Im clogged up how can i think about shitty ideas. Wc3 in OPSY class, cant be bothered to listen cos i decide to do last min study for this subj..Dota after opsy till 2 then eat. Poor game. Went to Lenette's hse to play mahjong. Played 4, Win 1 Lose 3. Horrible >_> I miss those friday dota games in the lab. When i would talk to you while dota-in. Though i talked less cos i was shy .. LOL... I concentrated not on dota but on what i said. Jus tt maybe u din see it then who was more engaged in what they do and what are their piorities..

Throwing all these crap like dota at myself to occupy time..So i can no longer remember. But it seems to be useless. Though im busy then, most of the free time i have to myself id start to think. (Damn this faulty heart) Heart is controlling the brain, thats a first. Finally she msn me..and ive nth to say.

-removing this from my heart, leavin it in is killin me, removing it also is killin me.-

Tuesday. Woke up at 815 and slowly walked out at 830 -_-. Went for 2 hours of OPSY of which i listened to only 20 mins max? OPSY-Man (No names , dont want to be sued) said we can only concentrate for 20 mins. Well, i dont know abt that but i wasnt listening.. Maybe thats the only part i listen to for the whole lecture. Then went for DMBS lecture. Amazing, i spent the whole lesson listening.. Lunch then dota... As usual... pwn fugly... Then 1pm and the graphics design class start.. Was lost...very lost...Futhermore YH keep askin stupid things cos he wasnt listening to any part of the lesson at all... Well, thats yh for you, wanna learn but nv listen. Went home after tt and saw paul boardin 106. Talk abit, long time nv see... He's workin as a surveyer and wtf, he earns $16 for each person he surveys. Takes around 30 mins for each survey.. I also wan tt kind of job.. damn. Went home and slack.. Play Ro cos nth to do.. Went in ms see see only.. people shocked to see me..and im shocked tt they never delete me from their user list. Well, played WE9 again.. 5* cos 6* haven unlock.. Turkey win Brazil 2-0. Though Brazil could haf scored like 6 goals -_-...Must work on defence... Well, just taked One, Two shots of vodka.. My bday present from my lil sis... Lucky it was around, need to relax.. Clear my mind, clear it of everything. My mind says clear, my heart differs. Feeling worse and better at the same time. Worse tt i had to drink to feel better. And i know self control, if not id down the whole bottle by now.

Read if u wanna. Whats your view?

There are two ways to look at this. Once is its my fault, for liking people and going for the chances that come. Another from my view, is that Yes, youve done shit that is wronging me. People like you are erratic and sometimes cant put others first. Yes, my actions are like yours, erratic and my thoughts too. BUT look here, dont you see that what your doing is like a bastard? You shot your friend in the back, who looks out for you most of the time. And yet why do i not give a damn about this? Cos i have the ability to forgive. And i choose to use it. The longest ive been pissed at people is 2 odd weeks. Why im writing this? Cos its the only outlet for me to get this off my mind. After all , this are my thoughts. I am half of somethings. Half introvert,half extrovert, half pacifist... you get the point? *shrug* i do.

-Im not needed here, im just a stand in. Why cant you leave my heart, my mind already knows that, but not my heart.-

Woke up at 7am for the stupid gems class at 8am. Went there for 2hours to slp..Cant understand a damn thing he's talkin about astro-navigation. Went for VB, 3 hours of vb. Did finish the pratical in abt a hour and a half while standing lol. Felt like standing, maybe cos the chair is hard and low -_- then cannot see the screen. Lunch then ideas class which i think i will fail yay. Marked fair,poor,fair,poor,fair,poor,fair,poor for all the things i can get marked on. Then NETF , 1 hr of stonage. Then i went home. Short day, tired. Went home then Play WE9. dinner. WE9. Turkey win england 3-1 5* =p now for 6*.. Now im here bored. Maybe ill watch shaun of the dead later on in around 6 mins on tv hmmm.

- Goodbye, i damn well hope that this is the final one -_-; -

Rest day II. In a nut shell, Church -> Home -> Dota -> tv -> WE9 -> dinner -> tv -> here i am now. There, 15 hours summarised into 1 sentence. I tink lenette is dota freak..always wan to play dota dota dota, go out wif bobo or sumtin lar.... Yea but i havent been playin dota at home lately. Played WE9..Scored a spectacular goal usin Okan, Turkey v Brazil 4* com only =/ Drew 1-1 cos i made a mistake at the 85th min...but scored again in E.T at the 95th min usin basturk.. One guy head in a corner between 4 defenders, spectacular. For Okan, Excellent volley! Come over and see the replay of Okan scoring! Before WE9, watched Secondhand lions wif my elder sis. Nice show overall, they did stupid things lol. Like using a shotgun to fish, or buying a whole cruiser and putting it in their small backyard lake..

Then went for dinner at holland and back home to watch house of wax. I rate 2.5*. Lousy plot and just senseless running. Poor rip, cos it had lousy sound quality.

While watchin around 3/4 of the show, she came online. Went back to considerin to ask how she was. Its been how many days? Since around 24th oct, no replies from her in sch or sms. My last sms was last thurs? My last wake up "call". Was sendin sms to her instead of callin to wake her up since the start of school. Cos i feel that u dun wanna see/talk to me. In school yea, pretty much the same except no bobo,ceed,mark and derrick. And also that all i can do is smile and walk by her...Each time doing, i catch you with the corner of my eye...Thats all i can do. Even though i want to ask you how your doin or hangin out together. Wanted to msn her after considering..But she went offline already..Always like this, im slow by a hair.

-I'm weak, i dont deserve anything. Ill cover my allys, but who'll cover me? If only i didnt care so much. If only i had gotten things right. Right place, right time, if only i wasnt there.-

What else can i say? Rest day is finally here... Spent the day at home slping =) and CJ, y u anyhow use pudge @%$&@#$ lol..nm next time teach u support pudge. Tired. Slpin in abt 3 mins, nite.

-Ive been thinkin for 1hr while surfin forums. Thinkin of what to put here -___-. Thinkin of whats goin on in a nutshell. How long will it be like this?-

Today went to sch to freeze my ass in the cold cold lab 2026 at 830am...DBMS lesson so early and so cold. Went there till 10 then the classrm below for lecture then back up again for VB lesson which i spent watchin anime...Then after VB knn wait for cj to do his vb then go for lunch... Everytime see ICT club ppl have so many ppl stationed to get people to sign up for events like the upcoming talenttime. Around 6-8 people were there? but i saw no one signing up. 1st price is a ipod nano (WTF where the hell they get so much money). Anyhow after lunch dota time again...First game was a good one, randomed and got lucifer. 15/1 cos i die at the start by accident... They forced me to buy skadii cos they see me they run away so i mus slow them =/. Bought 2 h.o.t and gave 1 to cj.. In total i had 1 mkb,threads,skadi,heart,lvl5 dagon. Almost killed roshan with bobo but ran cos the other team wan gang bang us.. Anyhow after that in the evening went to thiong baru with drk,yh and hat. Ate dinner there then went to arcade. Went to play gs but was kind of distracted wif my life.. Then went to watch yh and drk play soul calibur 2 when this small boy come as challenger and drk hu anyhow play lost. When yh insert credit the boy pop up and guai lan say tt we can never win him. Never knew that never was a word so easily used now adays. yh won him in all 3 rnds... But lost later on after 15 mins of playin when the boy came back cos yh got tired of playin for 30 mins altogether...

What am i doing. I want to look here in the eye. I want to talk to her, know how she's doing, know hows everything.. I want but i cant, i mustnt. For its no longer up to me to decide anything. Can only comply with what is going on. Ive decided long ago, but it takes 2 hands to clap. So now, all i can do is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING which is fucked up to me. So its like this. At least my mood is better. Now its good in the day and detoriates at night. Better for all so they cant complain of my lousy mood.

-I miss you,the way you care for people, the way you do things. Smiling most of the time when you dont want to, looking out for others all the time. I want to see your smile again. A smile that you really mean-

Howl Zabimaru

-What can i do , im only killing myself.-

Dream : a) series of thoughts, images, or emotions occurring during sleep
b) a strongly desired purpose or goal

Dont we all have dreams? You want to be or do something someday? Well, i dont and im loving it. Im dealing with it a step at a time and have no long term goals for now which sucks. Maybe my long-short term goal for now is to get a damn driving license. I had a dream last night. I couldnt sleep last nite and was up for at least until the Manutd v Chelsea match was over, but i was in bed tossin and turning. My dream, i dreamt that i was tossing and turning in bed -_- stupid aint it? I woke up thinking if i was awake the whole nite.. lol Strange dreams i have, and its a rare one too, for i seldom have dreams. I already live in dreams and nightmares, so why do i need to dream futher?

Went to school at 8am, damn astro navigation GEM class. So early , only go there to sleep. Full day of school today, 8am-5pm. 3 hours of VB, sort of like a free period to me. The lecturer is goin so slow, that i aint listenin to her but mp3s. Also , kept lookin behind to where she was sittin, thats all i can do now, look =/ for i dont know my next move, my current move or predict anyone's move. Lala, only can see how things go, doesnt seem all that bright, but i see the glass half full. Seems familiar today compared to last week. After vb go fc4 and meet mark there. Also , saw here there wif her best friend in sp,aurelia and the ex-05 gang now in 02. And damn, Mark got a psp... Im waiting my razor mouse from daryl, he's gonna sell it to me. Waitin for him to buy the copperhead so i can buy his diamond back cheap cheap ^ ^. Damn cheap, then ill buy a keyboard and a gfx card and im back to fps. Later went for 2 hrs of ideas which wasnt so bad, a damn lively class cos we're in it. Went crazy ~ as usual. Then had the last hour of NETF which i guess no one paid attention to..Played snooker on my phone which i keep losin to the com by 3-10 points each round $%&#$%^*& Then went to T19 to watch bobo,ceed,lenette and derrick play dota. Supposed to go out wif the usual to watch Tom Yam soup but too tired and lack of money, so i went home.

Tinkin of some stuff now, nth impt and nth not impt at the same time. Goin to watch tv now so loggin

-Tsunaida, kimi no te o. Itsuka ushinatte shimau no ka na? Usurete yuku egao to kimi o mamoritai ka...-
I held your hand. Will i end up losing them someday? I want to protect you and your fading smile, so...-

Restdays! finally.. watch bleach on both days -_-, lots of tv watchin. Spent sunday slpin also, after church. Damn, my predictions are inaccurate now. Everything that happened is inaccurate, even soccer. Ok, here's what i bought and what came out

Newcastle v Brimginham 1-0
$10 6.0 2-0
Aston Villa v Lpool 0-2 wtf la so damn ^&^%*^$
$5 0-3 11.0
$5 1-3 10.0
Portsmouth v wigan 0-2 told u mark !#^!%
$25 level ball ports.
HT$25 Wigan -1/4 Thanks for clearin $25 mark.
4D
0074 sat $2 none
0074 sun $2 starter 0084 ! wtf

ahaha almost won 4d, could have done with $250. But i wont have much use for it now yea..? So, im sortof givin it to sp now for the future ba. High returns will come later on for later uses =)

goin now cos kiasu crap take all the good GEM slot and im stuck with this duno smlj gem at 8am on mon, so nite

First of all, Happy belated Hari raya. Spent Hari raya at home resting and watchin some movies, thats about it. Played an amazing game of dota at nite, almost clear team multiple times usin chaos knight...Too bad the creeps keep blocking me from chasin the naix to clear the team.

Thursday ends with that last dota game.

Friday. I woke up at 7am and went back to slp again till 730am. Rained in the morning and i was sort of freezing in lab T2026? Slow coms with no USB 2.0 ports and the air con was freezing. Spent 1h30m on DBMS pratical of which i listened to only 50-70% of the lesson. Then went for the DBMS lecture of which the lecturer made "friends" with Daryl cos he keep talkin and nt listenin. He tried to make "friend" with me but i guess he cant really hear well. Daryl kept sayin his name many times but he kept askin "Whats your name" lol. Also he asked mine cos i was sittin next to him and fendin off his gay-ism payin only attention to 50-70% of the lesson again. Too bad he couldnt hear me and called me Daniel. Who was sitting beside me too lol. He tried giving examples using 'Daryl' property bein changed to 'Daniel' and for some reason, the class kept laughin...Then went to FC4 for lunch with brandon,wee kwang,daniel,daryl,cj,tc,yong he,fugly and fucker. Then came Mark,bobo and ceed. Split up and me mark and ceed went to the club hse. Kept pushin us to go out and paint sum stupid banner. Went out for 10-15 mins then went back in again. Yea, i would have helped if they asked earlier so i would come in slacker clothes.

After the banner was finished and most of the ppl were in the club, there comes my mask. Bunch of fake smiles and laughter as if nothing happened. But generally im improving, i think? Haven spoken to her for 1.5 weeks already. Not that i dont want to and im unsure if you want to either. Id rather stfu till spoken too then talk to someone who doesnt want to. I dont know what you want but i know what i want. I want you around again. A certain spark is missing now that your gone. But whats the chances of that happening again? How long can this keep up? Each time i walk past without saying a word or look away, im being tormented inside.

Oh well, went to suntec with brandon bobo and lenette to collect her pay then eat dinner... Waited from 6 to 9 pm again.. as usual waiting(btw i went to 1 side cos i was tired not anyin else). Went to eat sum jap/korean/thai resturant then went home by bus, a 1 hr journey cos i walked to bugis.

Yes im used to waiting, and i can wait quite a bit. But i couldnt wait the other time cos it was pain for me. I guess i screwed things up, and i regret it. I regret that i couldnt have been more patient. 2 weeks of uncertainty, felt like i was being played. Thus my actions 2 weeks ago, which led to this. I wonder, if what you said that night was true? And why not earlier? The answer i'll probally wont get is why.

- Im missing you, i wanna know how your doing. I want you around again, for your the spark that lights me up-

Today woke up at 8:05am, bobo call me late by 20 mins.. Went to sch as usual, cant remember much, real fuzzy today. 2hrs of vb of which i couldnt see or understand anything cos
1) i took off my specs cos my eye damn itchy
2) bloody boring lecture of which i went thru the slides myself and went 10.0x times faster

ahh well, after that went for 1 hr of OS lesson, with the new PT the-guy-who-the-guy-who-win-lotsofcash-in-soccer-guy-dun-like who the-guy-who-win-lotsofcash-in-soccer likes to kpkb abt.. Generally funny guy, or rather cos CJ keep askin questions to him, the kind he normally asks. lol
[Both parties have been not identified to prevent a) Me from bein accused of defamation b) Legal action]

Went for lunch then T19 for dota..Took over bobo who went off for a while, he was using the new hero, the Lord gayabbadon. Most funny moment was when Yung Sheng hu was usin SA keep to hittin-and-runnin me. I then went 1/4 crazy and decided to kamakazi using that charge spell and whatdayaknow, u can hit invis units though u cant see them. Lord gayabbadon is well in one word, gayabbadon. Then went for a run round the track before goin to the bball court to errr stone futher. Stone from 3pm-4pm then went to Thiong baru with Bobo,Lenette,CJ,yung sheng, Teck chau, Derrick , Brendan and Lenette's friend. Chiong 2 games of gs wid CJ , sry ar, my turn to xin bu zai yan =x Then spent $9.50 to watch sky high at 7pm... Went to long john at 5:45pm+ but i went to Chia's hse to take vcd. So i reached at 6pm and went to slp..I fell aslp tinkin of [fill in this bloody space] with my ngage running, draining my batt. Woke up at 6:30pm then looked arnd and saw Aurelia wif her friend. I was still dazed from my nap lol, tot i blur liao. Wake up to eat combo 1, a meal which i havent eaten in ages, a meal which i dread to eat but ate on in the past anyway.

Yea, tryin to get re-adjusted to Derrick, goin to the same place at around the same time and same cinema to watch a movie. Where the last time we did this i felt heavy for no apparent reason cos
a) Brendan accuse me of takin his ipod long long ago den pissed with me for tt period of time
b) tts the place/time where Drk busuang wif me and the beginnin of crap started.
Well, its getting along fine and now what irks me now is the guythatifeelistoofuckeduptonamewhoxtraxtrafuckingccbcomeinterferwiththecrapmatter.
Other then that its all going well.
Went to watch Sky High, 1st time i nv buy drink , den no need go toilet...But squeezed btn Yung Sheng and drk , two ppl who take lots of arm rest space =/ thus squeezing me.
Went home at 930+, walk home tt time i quite clouded. Clouded until i tink today is friday. Tinkin abt? Clouds... yea right..

-Something is still missing, i dont know what you want or anyone wants anymore. Will you tell me what you want instead of keeping me guessing?-

Happy deepavali... Woke up at 12pm, at the constant hounding of my dad wakin me up to go for lunch. I dint go anyway, i still dont know why he doesnt understand waking people up to go somewhere wont get them there? Went to ps at 4pm and met the usual, Ceed, Daniel, Lenette , Bobo , Tc and Yunyun. Cj went out wid his parents today... no GS =/ Anyhow Daniel bought 2 top 1 jeans 1 3/4 pants at flesh imp... Guess he spent like $160, even after staff discount. His friend last time from B & P changed to flesh imp. Well, its the money he worked for so cant say much. Went to eat dinner at food court which consisted of 1 durian ice kachang. Many people are fuckers now adays. When Daniel was waiting for a table, he stood behind the people that were already leaving when a fucking aunty swoop in and sat on the damn chair. Why dint he scold, he said he felt very %!@#!@ but nv scold ar.. Cos ceed tell him to ignore -_- If i was there, in my current state and mood, most probally id go more crazy and start telling her off. Damn these people now adays. SBS bus drivers also. Today in TNP someone complained that the SBS bus driver order them to use the ezlink or get off the bus. Is using an ezlink all that fucking important? No one ever said its compulsory and no one can force you to use the ezlink. They talk about $9 mil / month being lost by fare cheats but they dont provide figures. There are only 3 mil people in singapore. Say only 1 mil take the bus. That meants each person in that 1 mil spends $9 a month not paying up. They accuse people but no proof, and they all the rights to force us to do this crap?

Oh well, went to suntec with Ceed and Daniel later on. Wanted to drink but something was stopping me so in the end, i left with ceed who followed me and then i bought Jay's new album on impulse...What was stopping me from drinkin? Something down inside me. Was 9pm, quite early, so i took the North South line home. 53 min Journey to J.E. Dont ask why i did that *shrug* cos i dont know why i took that line either.

-I'm speechless. 2nd day ive gone crazy, why is this so?-

Stupid gems started at 8am today..Woke up at 6:55 for some apparent reason and went to get ready for school. Left with my sis at 7:30 and its always like this... as soon as i can see the bus stop, i can see the bus 106 pulling in. Happens everyday i go to school, normally i would wait 7 mins for the next bus but my sis who left slightly earlier was running towards the bus.. Oh what the hell, so i ran to the bus too anyway. Seriously unfit and jaded.... how can i exercise when im this tired? Started out a great day today. Did my VB prac early and was listenin to Sonata Artica... i kept tinkin it was too loud and scared that the teacher come kpkb me so i kept pausin half way. Cos i cant hear whats goin on when i put on the earphones. Everything is filtered out. Started out great. Went to lunch at FC4 with half the class o.O? lol.. same crowd except missing some people.. Mark came along with us..Talked so much crap that i feel damn lame..More laughter added to the pile. Then i saw her when goin upstairs and she comin out of the lift. Didnt bother at all... Had 2 hours of crap of "IDEAS".. Drew many many many lines knowing that i cant draw to save my life...Damn these crap modules...wasting my time and money. Then after that while waiting for NETF to start.. Went out to warm up and get some peace. Closed my eyes and almost slept while leaning on the railings. Talked to Aurelia (who kanna thrown to our class for no reason with some other people) for a brief moment, who claims If i jump over she would be happy in a jovial tone. My reply , "Yea i wouldnt mind jumping over, only can u throw me over? i guess no one would mind" in a monotonous tone. Maaaan, the things i say when im half asleep...So far no response from her..Sent her a msg "Wake up" at around 9am to well, wake her up as usual? Dint really expect a reply. Then while talkin crap to Aurelia she came out. Heard her voice as my eyes were closed..I continued to lean on the railings resting..I jus wanted a simple hi, but well now it seems that its all going to a i-duno-wtf-is-going-on-now-and-wtf-do-you-all-want direction..anyhow, was ignored, as if we have never met before and i was jus some person leanin on the railings. Forgive me if i think too much, but what i write here, wont probally come out of my mouth anyway...

Ignored by the one you like, what a feeling.
No matter what anyone does, nothings gonna change if you dont wanna change.
Well i guess, we've come to a point where im no longer existant.
And i assume, we'll remain at that point for its what you want.

- Cant we even be friends again, or is that too much for me to ask? -