Nut Says

Another rest day today....Woke up real tired, feelin like crap for some reason. Spent the day slackin again, watchin tv, gettin spammed... Whats worse is not ive got a splitting headach. Went for dinner at some korean bbq restraunt, which made me smell bbq-ed. Went home to see a unique cake, that was like a mooncake o.O oh well, feelin tired and in pain now. Waiting waiting, waiting for only 2 words from someone but i guess you cant be bothered. And neither will i. Fuck this headach, and wth am i so tired. I dont want to go to school on monday, 8am to 5pm. I rather sleep at home then sleep in school, more comfortable. Stupid astronomy gems crap. Feeling sick, am i coming down with something? Or is it my imagination..

Oh yea, rather im alone during this period then kanna break on ur bday rite? lol, that will be one hell of a bday present~ So, the timing isnt all that 100% screwed up ^ ^; Ah... i guess goin back to before was impossible, which means...i'd have to do a hell of forgetting - The impossible. I dont forget easily, each scent brings back memories. Such as the first time i started working at M1 Paragon, the very first day at the shop. Or things like playing ro during the new year. The first time i held u. Blah Blah. Each memory is fond and not forgotten =) Boon or Bane? Both i say. Random discussion time? Yup ^ ^

Man, i think of crap too much, i think i should be a philosopher for the ways of the nuT. The wisdom of nuT, will be written soon enough!

Edit (2:03am) : GOOAL! Thanks Boro! One of the damn best gifts ever. Thanks for the 4 goals from Mendita(twice!), Hasselbaink and Yakubu!

Oh yea, why i blog?
Cos im bored, waiting for a game to start, thus the free time is placed into here. Thats why i blog, blog crap.

Bah.. no liquor..left beer..left 1 can 3 bottles reserved for guests only. Who said this? I did =). Social drinking only -_________-. Except for this can here. Cant i have a can on my bday? Hell yea..Who said this? I did again. Running out of money and alcohol thus the rationing. A few things happened in the past 2 months. Stop soccer betting was in September. Started and stop drinking in October. Pc died in September, new one up in October. Time stopped in September, woke up dazed in October. What am i talking about? I have completely no idea, im too bored.

Oh well, heres a song by Landy! ^ ^

祝我生日快乐

我知道伤心不能改变什么　那么　让我诚实一点
诚实　难免有不能控制的宣泄
只要关上了门　不必理谁

一个人坐在空荡包厢里面　手机　让它休息一夜
难　像切歌切掉回忆的画面　眼泪不能流过十二点

生日快乐　我对自己说　蜡烛点了　寂寞亮了
生日快乐　泪也融了　我要谢谢你给的你拿走的一切

还爱你　带一点恨　还要时间　才能平衡
热恋伤痕　幻灭重生　祝我生日快乐

一个人坐在空荡包厢里面　手机　让它休息一夜
难　像切歌切掉回忆的画面　眼泪不能流过十二点

生日快乐　我对自己说　蜡烛点了　寂寞亮了
生日快乐　泪也融了　我要谢谢你给的你拿走的一切

还爱你　带一点恨　还要时间　才能平衡
热恋伤痕　幻灭重生　祝我生日快乐
还爱你　带一点恨　还要时间　才能平衡
热恋伤痕　幻灭重生　祝我生日快乐

还爱你　带一点恨　还要时间　才能平衡热恋伤痕　
幻灭重生　祝我生日快乐
还爱你　带一点恨 还要时间　才能平衡
热恋伤痕　幻灭重生　祝我生日快乐

Ok... Finish 1 can...Means finish this post now.Bored-

-Eiii everytime the timing sucks. Sucks that everytime my bday im alone. You know wad i mean-

Heavy thunderstorm now. Perhaps its a sign hmmm. Maybe im doing something wrong to someone or someone is doing wrong to me or perhaps its a big sign. Im not good at readin this crap, its so indirect. What ever the case is, every 20-30 secs there's lightnin =) and love the rain, cooling and all.

Today went to bugis with Daniel,bobo,lenette and tc. Long time nv see daniel lol. Anyhow, me and dan walk walk cos kind of bored waitin for them while they buyin clothes, slippers. Then went to edge where i got tired and decided to sit on the star chair and slp...Then went to sim lim to replace my portable hard disk drive casing which was faulty....Then went home and slpt..

Tired day. This thunderstorm is a fucking huge sign. How often does a storm this big occur. Ahahah "everythings so wrong". Familiar quote. But in this case, everyting is wrong. And strangely, i admitted today "I wish it was the exam week again, repeating that two weeks forever.". Yea, im cheating myself in everyway. Wonder why i said that. I chased an impossible dream, knowing that chances were never in my favour. Relentlessly i trodded on and reached the finish line. Then, i was setback by a mile. Another runner tried a shortcut, while another was an extra, with unknown motive what so ever, unhappy that i completed it, tried to do tasks which what i see as underhanded. Who ever asked you here anyway? Im angry at the latter.Maybe not angry, ahh whats this feeling that you want to beat this fucker up so badly called...Then,i was forced to make a detour.A detour, to play me futher...So far, most of my will is gone. With absolutely no chance left, i unwillingly give up. A small part remains defiant, and still tries. But a few toes cant bring a person anywhere can it? It takes a whole lot of will.

Something which i have no more, which was stolen and was played with.
- Feelings

-If i could have anyday back that i spent on this earth, could it be the 20th of September? Let me live a dream jus once more-

Ahhh, another rest day. Rest my wallet and myself. Woke up at 1130 and waited for 12 to do the gem thing. Got on around 12:15 and OMGWTFBBQ, all slots were almost gone...Stupid SP, now im in Intro to Astro. @ monday 8am-10am. Monday, 8am-5pm...real sad,cfm will haf monday blues, or perhaps i will slp thru it.Spent most of the afternoon slackin on the couch, watchin tv.. Real cooling day as it rained real heavily..AT night, till now went to play dota, only played 2 internal games. Now slackin around futher.

Gonna slp soon. ICT LTC Camp lol... was missed called yesterday when playing pool. Gave a call back and 2 blur people talking on the fone. Once i heard the word ICT i said "err no i not going" lol.. instinct. Camp, mixed feelings about going. I'm divided in half now. Half says "Life goes on, im not goin to care no more", the other says "I wonder how she's doing". Oh well, the 1st is overwhelming the 2nd now. Its more of 60-40 now. Moving futher and futher, i hope faster too. But its goin well so far, own time own target =)

Oh yea one more thing, aud , im not drinkin now, but i still want alcohol for bday. Elaine , im not like ur teacher -_-. Taufiq, yea, everythins fine, when will English Band 2 - 2004 meet again!
Yea, lost touch with most of my sec sch friends. Aud , i can say ur like 0.1% of whats left of pri sch friends? lol. AHhh crap.

-Have a nice day-

Tired...Past few days standard stuff. Wake up, out to orchard.Always end up at ps,then go down to cine and back to pool at cuppage,then back to ps.Always the same old routine..Today,woke up at 1030 at the constant calling of lenette...why would we need to wake up at 1030 to go to ps at 1230 -_- anyhow,went there at 1230 and again im the earliest again , followed by a surprising feat achieved by lenette. She reached 3 mins after me o.O...amazing.. Then bobo,ceed,cj and tc all came along in that order.First,at 77th street bought a shirt at $39.90. See la bobo peer pressure lol. anyhow i really needed new shirts.Then went to Sum stall at lvl b2 to eat a very milky fish noodle,thats $3.. Then watched transporter 2, thats $7. A large lemon tea, $2. A $3 tapz card upload,then bought saiyuki reloaded 14-25 @ $26.16.... Then went to hereen for a walk, stop there as the rain was too heavy.I think i saw Victoria o.O? A pri sch classmate? I think? Not all that clear about it..Long long time..Next,went to cine to eat subway dinner @ $7. Love the onions, though it gave me a slight indigestion.only burping and nth else ok..? Then went to cuppage for pool... Spent around $5 there.. Total i spent was lets see...$93.16....And i went out with $50..im left with $16...

I dont feel pain at all. After all, its only money. Which can be gotten back later...But if you look at it, i havent even touch this money ive saved from working 6 months @ M1,paragon. Once in a while isnt all that bad eh...? Save for the future, can woo girl easier then =x lol. Own time own target now. Targets hmm, hope that GEMS will make it easier for me.

Anyhow, went home at around 1030..tired..GEMS....Stupid thing that wastes time... Im goin to sign up for the how to build a pc thing? cos... its an easy course... and everyone is tryin to go for it ? lol... its alright, go learn more adv stuff there. If its the basics i can sleep! if its the adv...learn more crap again. 2 hours of blogging lol... and not to mention warcraft3,alt tab when i die/waitin and write a little.. from 2:45am till 4:07am. School rumble 24 is out! oh well.. off to slp now,writing crap again.Lookin thru friendster,nth else for me to do...but slp...slp on it...slp on everyting..and it'll be better in 8 hours, i hope.So gd nite,and gl ceed....

-I cant see no more. Or is it that i refuse to see?-

No more drinkin~ I've decided to give up this crap. Social drinking only from now on. Nothing much today, spent the morning in church, afternn at hme, nite at columbarium and now...online gamin..today is my rest day... Done much slacking ,resting and thinking. Ive decided! Look towards the future! Ill look as far as the next day ! Then it'll be simple. nth much to say nw..*shrug*

Drink-blogging isnt really good. Drinking isnt either. Makes your mind fuzzy and then you cant think straight. Thats what happened yesterday. So many cans so little time. lol. Anyhow, i know what must be done, what has to be done and what i have to do. I've been thinking when i got up and was sober, and i realised all that.

Yes, ill give up. For thats what you want. But i wont give up on being a friend. Be there for you when your sad, to wipe your tears and ask nothing in return. For this are what friends are for.

Also, im going to listen. Yes, ill see what will come. What will happen and then at that time, ill decide what to do again. Now that this is cleared up a little, im slightly happier. Got this off my mind. All that has happened, all that has be hurting me, has been removed. So i assume nut will go back to normal wont he? Im sure he will. Normal he will be, but not the same again.

-Without friends no one would choose to live, though you have all other goods.-

藉口

翻著我們的照片
想念若隱若現
去年的冬天
我們笑得很甜
看著妳哭泣的臉
對著我說再見
來不及聽見
妳已走得很遠
也許妳已經放棄我
也許已經很難回頭
我知道是自己錯過
請再給我一個理由說妳不愛我
就算是我不懂
能不能原諒我
請不要把分手當作妳的請求
我知道堅持要走是妳受傷的藉口
請妳回頭
我會陪妳一直走到最後
就算沒有結果
我也能夠承受
我知道妳的痛
是我給的承諾
妳說給過我縱容
沉默是因為包容
如果要走
請妳記得我
如果難過
請妳忘了我

We cant see the future. Glad that we cant. If we could, would i be here writing this now? Would i be at SP right now? Would i have this can in my hand? Would i have met you? This post started at 2:28am. The time now is 2:33am. Would i have known that at 2:28am, my can would have been finished and thrown at 2:33am? The future is not meant to be seen, its meant to be set. By who? You can set your own future and only you can do that and no one else. If people force you to do things for your future, look at it. They are trying to mould you for the future. You can choose to accept it even if you dont like it or you can choose to fight. Many times i choose to fight. I fight for what i believe in.

Make your own future. And hold on to what you believe. But at this point of time, i have given up. Why? Why have i given up for what i believe in? Because thats what you have chosen. I dont want you to be forced to do what you dont want to do. If doesnt work that way either. "Im sorry i have wasted your time. Goodnight and Goodbye." The last few words i mentioned to you. I feel horrible. But if that is what you want, then i have no choice wont i? 1 Month ago, everyting was fine everyone was happy. 1 month later everyone isnt. One month ago my heart was happy, full of joy to be with you. Now, id have to let you go...Here instead lies a void. Another void, soon there will be nothing left of my heart. Who then will understand? A person with no heart? Each time im sure it will harden. I get a hardened heart from each unpleasent event. Will i have a stone heart?

Im out of beer. I cant get high for now and leave this behind. Yes, tears are dropping. I cant stop. Where is the old nut. The one that has returned is no longer the same. Alcohol addict. This isnt the way out. I know that. Its just a temp method of trying to be happy. Happiness. What is this feeling? The last feeling of this "Happiness" was on friday. When there was still a chance. 3 days and you changed your mind. Thats what i think. You claim its been a week, if so why toy with me? Why give me somthing that was never there? For one week you made up your mind on this, didnt tell me and claim you forgot? I doubt that you would do this. Comeon, we know that you wouldnt be this forgetful. You said you didnt want to hurt me and couldnt commit again jus yet. Have you forgetten this already? Thats the reason i fought on. Fought on for what i believe that it can happen. Me hurt? Yes. Because you said you forgot to tell me? No. Its because ...its because...i think that you change your mind within those 3 days, within friday,saturday and sunday and not letting me know. I could see that in the way you change your replies.

If im wrong about this, which i cant be sure, im sorry. But if im right....Ill be hurt even more.Which doesnt matter anyway, im already hurt until i can no longer feel any extra pain. I just want the truth...Im giving up this battle. However sad i may be, i still dont understand why. Why i still want to be with you. However for you. I hope that you'll just be happy. For that, at 2:24am on 21st October 2005, ill try to keep that as the last time. The last time that i tried to share your pains, make you happy and to be with you.

-Another void in the same place. Hurting, i reluctantly leave, no longer wanting to hurt you no more. I hope you'll just be happy-

Time passes so fast.9 more days and its a year. Year after Year for 16 years =p. im getting older.. Spent the day at home again. Got 3.16 GPA for my sem 1 exam...Considering i didnt study then and having no mood at that time, its quite good. Talked to mummy during the afternn =p tot she was workin... aye u go die la, my bday comin u dun wan buy me gfx card =s XINHUI @$#^@%$&@%$& u workin le nv gif me pres lol..how many yrs delay le? nvm la... its alrite...doesnt matter anyway.

One month ago...it was yesterday, i asked a question. One month later, its the same..but i ask many other questions. clearing my doubts. My last question is why... Thats all im going to say today.

One more thing. My posts after 130am may have been under the influence of alcohol so sometimes i write alot of what i feel under the influence =X but tonite, i wont write much. For i have nothing to say at all.

Another day of wc3 at home. Save some money...For what future use? I duno. Woke up at 12pm. Went in search of food, before i walked down my elder sis called me. Told me there wasnt food... ask if i wanted to order mcdonalds. And so i did. $13.40 for lunch. its only money.. whats the point of me saving anyway...No more reason. Ate 1 big mac meal,1 mc flurry 1 apple pie. She leeched a whole double cheese burger...Went to dota shortly after...Everything is not right. Even my wc3 mood is no longer there. No real mood to play in dota..gave like 15%. Lost 2 standard games to 2 humans..see what i mean...?

There are always 2 sides to life. Alive or Dead. When your alive you can be happy, sad, angry and feel many more emotions. When your dead, well your dead. What more can you ask for? Life. What is the meaning of life? For at least the first 20 years, we study to deat. Study so that for the next 20 years we can work to death. For the next 20 years we continue to work to death so that the next 20 years we can wait for death. If death still hasnt arrived you spend the next 20 years rotting to death. In short, Study to death -> Work to death -> Wait for death. Naa im not talking about death. Its just an expression. Now i ask anyone, what am i here for? Do i have a specific purpose to be here? I tried many things but never sticked to something. When i did it became nothing. Counting the days....10 days more. And for what i ask myself? Time passes quickly. One day to one month, and it was only like yesterday. Still fresh in my memory. Time passes fast. If you dont cherish what you have, there wont be anything left to have. Heres what you should remember, dont take things for granted. Everyone would be much happier that way. Something strange, This october there are many breakups...And call me a fool....but if there is another chance, yes...ill jump at it..

軌跡

怎麼隱藏
我的悲傷
失去妳的地方
妳的髮香
散的匆忙
我已經跟不上

閉上眼睛
還能看見
你離去的痕跡
在月光下一直找尋那想念的身影

如果說分手是苦痛的起點
那在終點之前
我願意再愛一遍
想要對妳說的
不敢說的愛
會不會有人可以明白

我會發著呆
然後忘記你
接著緊緊閉上眼
想著哪一天
會有人代替
讓我不再想念你

我會發著呆
然後微微笑
接著緊緊閉上眼
又想了一遍
妳溫柔的臉
在我忘記之前

心裡的眼淚
模糊了視線
你已快看不見

-Tried to give my all only to only be slammed in the end.Still i stand up again.Stubbornly.-

Lol....yesterday slpt at 430am cos of b.net irc @ chan "clan lppl". The usual people were there...started talking crap from 3am and finally gave up at 430am. Went to sleep and woke up at 2pm today...Went in search of food but failed miserably...So i went to dota with Bobo,daniel,lenette. Ended at 430pm again... Then duno who decided to go newton to eat at 630pm. Went there and waited with bobo till 745pm....Even ceed came earlier then lenette and teck chau...and it was lenette who said 630....and they said no when i said 8pm.... Ate until 930pm, shared a miserably can of beer ... Some jap brand of beer...which was quite dry...I still prefer heiniken. lol.. Sat at the mrt station till 10+? then went home...Hungry day overall... Decided to take a slow walk home from bouna vista...

Anyhow... Why am i like this..Why do i still wait though i have a feeling that the answer will be no...Why do i still care? Usually..when theres a time to give up..i would. but this is a first, why dont i give up? Heaven knows why... nut went missing days ago... Heaven knows when nut is coming back either. Nevertheless, ill still wait on, slowly. Though it hurts me so, ill be stubborn. Waiting for an answer. Waiting slowly. Waiting painfully.

And i havent said this yet. Congrats on your victory. I've lost my battle. Happy? I've also lost myself. Now you can go celebrate.

Torment around me.Torment in me. Torment be with me. And let us conquer our foes. They do not understand our pain.
Do you?
No.
Not a soul can. And for that we shall make them feel the torment... The torment that inhabits my soul - Tormented soul

Slpt at 7am woke up at 11am... Slpt at 7 cos we were dota-in away lol... Ceed , bobo , lenette,daniel and me... Though daniel ps-ed us at 5am... Ceed got caught at 630am lol... he said he was wakin up to go out...and he really did go out ! he had no place to go lol...So if im not wrong he went to meet lenette early in the morning...I dint go cos i felt i needed some sleep ? if not i wont be here at this time writing crap.

Went out at 3pm to SP. Goin to SP for
1) Meet Ceed , Lenette , Teck Chau
2) Find someone.

Teck Chau had archary till 5pm..I reached sp at 3.30pm and walked arnd tryin to find someone. Sadly i couldnt find her hmm. Oh well.. at 4.30pm i stopped for a moment. Resumed at 4.45pm and stopped at 5pm when Teck Chau archery ended..Feeling slightly deperessed, i dragged myself to Lenette's hse...The orginal plan was Teck Chau and Ceed wanna play standard game. I jus went along to pass time. Well, i passed alot of time, but they couldnt play standard with each other as one com wasnt updated...So what actually happened was Ceed started watchin Erayo with Lenette while i kp TC when he was playin standard and dota....We declined dinner at her hse but duno why in the end still ate there...There was a dog...and it was damn noisy...and hyperactive. Terrorised TC with it.Before we left, we left the dog and TC in her room with the lights off....im evil..considering i suggested all of the above...well the dog was playful....hugged my leg all of a sudden....and really hug hmm..Went home at around 10pm....Went back to the bus stop at SP...Was tempted to try looking once more...but i figured, i dont know whats goin on in there...*shrug*..

Also ive noticed. I look around me...Those who know me...and are in a relationship are breaking up...seems funny, all breaking up at around the same time....strange on how i see things hmmm...

-I have different views from the rest of the herd, which makes me different.-
- nuT, where are you? Have u disappeared forever? - nuT

Lol havent had the time to blog these few days..Cos im playin wc3 till 4am+, thus after playing i go straight to sleep...oh well...Nothing much went on these few days... i went out on thursday...but felt uncomfortable. Somthing dint feel right...Alas , i had enough with the attitude of someone? Well, cant be her. Definitely not her. I went out with 3 people. In summary, 1 Positive, 1 neutral and 1 negative. Reminds me of atoms hmmm.... Well this is just my own thinking, if you dont agree you can fuck off ^ ^ .

Spent the day at home today. After yesterday, i paid $10.20 to feel slightly irritated and am left with $2 networth. $1.20 on hand and $0.80 on my ezlink. S*S are fuckers also (I never said your company name, dont be nosey and try sue me $9mil back). Complain about losing $9mil on fare cheats. What about your fucking fare hikes? Make me use ur services until broke. How the hell do you lose $9mil a year? So what if 1 person doesnt pay the fare. I bet 20 others do and its a average of $1 for each person, you make a minimum of $10 and a max of $40 for just 20 people. What about full buses? Or those who forget to tap the card? NNBCB dun tell me u wan to be like NKF, we pay more so you can use gold stuff? oh well dont get me wrong. I FULLY SUPPORT YOU. I SPEND $20 A WEEK MINUMUM ON YOUR SERVICES DONT COMPLAIN.

There channeled my negative energy to something else other then my "friend". Goin back to playin wc3 now... oh yea....
Daniel - Gambatte, u nv try how u noe u gonna fail?
Ceed - w00t, work hard, heed our advice =) but dun be a bastid bro, if not i smack u
Cj - err , try harder also....? i really duno wad to say for ur prob.... aye nvm la lets go GS
Bobo - errr gd luck in ur standard games?
nuT - Where are you...come back... I want the old nuT back..

-nuT- In this month of october, nuT went missing. And nothing is what it seems. Please find nut back. - nuT

Woke up at 1130 today due to people walking into my room and doing stuff @$%&@%$& Considering i slpt at 4.. its alright... Went down to cine at 2pm to go for k-box...Went with Bobo, Ceed , CJ, Alex ( CJ's friend),Daniel , Teck chau, Lenette , Yun yun.Went from 2:30 till 7:50...Everyone so high...i only can sing low...or rather i cant sing at all lol...Drank 1 glass of whisky which is like a plain water effect. Then wanted a tequilla but the stupid *coughbutchcough* person refused to give and demanded ic -_-. oh well....Made no sense since we drank already. First time at Kbox rejected. Thx to tt person. Oh well.. went to ps after eatin dinner at bk. Reached thereat 945 lol... played 1 game of gs wid cj then played daytona wid bobo,cj,lenette and yun yun.

Reached home at 1130? Feel like crap but still playin dota lol...tired...Oh well 1 game over, maybe 1 more game...

-waiting tiredly-

zzz Slp at 3 am last nite and woke up at 6am to go to church to do pa...However still felt full of energy...Did until the 10am service startin worship session ended...Today was not really accustomed to the new set-up. Maybe give me a little time?. Left early cos had to settle some money matters. Then went home and caught some zzzz's...Spent the afternoon watching tv..Went out for "dinner" which wasnt filling at all. Bought subway back for supper. Watched dawn of the dead again on HBO. Then went on the fone...still am on the fone...but now its quiet....i dont know what to do or say anymore...

-waiting-

nuff said.

Ok....Ystd went woke up at 9am for a job interview at 945 at raffles. Went there and was briefed until 11am. Then me and bobo decided to not take the credit card job as i felt that i dint want or need to remember more crap then i needed to. I already remembered the M1 business rules -_-. Now i dun need this bank crap..After me and bobo proceeded the leave the room, the whole grp of us last minute decided to leave too. 8/12 of the new meat left the room. oh well.

Went to Orchard at lunch time while bobo went to cck to cut hair. Went back to M1 Paragon...Many staff have been moved around already...If i wanna work at M1 now, i wanna work at westmall =) . Then went to cine to eat. In then end, played a standard game with ceed at egames lol. i won ! lmao... bm is a gay harasser. Then cj came down but the rest left leavin me wid ceed only.Went to ps to play gs..ive lost my touch...then went to xzone to play xbox lol... played till 6pm ate a quick dinner and rushed to church to freeze my ass off for 3hrs doin music practice...My heart wasnt really there...Clogged up in thoughts...Went home and collected the winxp Pro cd from yi ting (thx dude) at 1:20 am...been walkin for 40 mins at nite lol..saw bunch of bats ..New com up but some fucking part failed. check check KNN IT WAS THE GFX CRD THAT SPOIL.. Well but its faster now ^ ^ got what i wanted but lost what was needed, money. lol

Ok today was a stoning day. Spent the day at home. End of story. Talked on the fone at nite from 12 - 2....

Im waiting. For what? Thats for me to know and for you to find out =)

Last night, or rather yesterday at 3am in the morning, i wrote an sms.I wrote it from 3 to 430. I wrote saying goodbye. Do i want this at all? I doubt so. In fact, i dont want to say goodbye. Why i did it? I dont really know. Maybe i was too tired? or perphaps i was under the influence of alcohol. Couldnt be. For i was playin wc3. Awake and sober. Dint drink more then 1 can due to heavy coughing.

"Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself."

Oh well, Yesterday slpt at 4am woke up at 12. Stoned a while before goin to simlim to meet horng bor, my sec sch friend. He was gonna help me with my pc -____-. Spent $530 on AMD 3500+ processor and a motherboard. $78 for a casing and $70 for a cpu fan. $5.50 for a cab back home and 3 hours stripping my old pc for parts, and throwing them into a "new" pc. After doing it for the first time, the pc couldnt on -_-. Changed the power supply unit and it still couldnt on -_______- . Removed all extra drivers and still couldnt on -______-. Removed the processor fans and 2 other fans and still couldnt on -________-. Finally when disassembling the pc to check if the motherboard is cracked, i tried one last time. It could turn on -_____- put back everything and it worked fine -_____-. Wonder what happened the first time...oh well...thats around $900+. Tomorrow theres a job interview at 945am at raffles, goin wid leon bobo,ceed,clement , clement's friends.Total of 8 people....And i noticed, im getting back to normal again...msn-in with people again. Im still using my sis's com for i need a windows XP installation CD. Anyone has it please lend me =X i got my own cd key. Ok, enough rubbish...loggin

-Theres nothing to be said or done-

分手吧 - 張震嶽

寫一封沒有地址的信
想寄到妳的心裡
告訴妳漸漸變淡的愛
妳是否曾經注意

過去的美麗日子已經不再
我還在傻傻地找尋
也許妳想要說但說不出口
我知道妳想說

分手吧　我們分手吧
不要再騙我說妳還愛著我
妳我的夢　彼此的不同
就算是當作一時糊塗愛錯

hmmm

Today was kind of a quick day...Slept at 4am woke up at 12pm due to my dad forcing me to wake up....He took a half day for some aircon repairs >_>

Went out with Cj,Bobo,Ceed,Teck Chau, Yun Yun ( Tc's cousin), and one more of Tc's friend,lennette. Went to PS at 4 , played arcade till 5, then went to eat dinner at swensons...Money just went in my account and now its going out again..lol...Then at 6:50 went to watch 4 Brothers. An ok show considering its NC-16 for no reason..Maybe too much vulgarities, but now adays why does it even matter? Primary school kids are already swearing and cursing alot already. I wonder, if they even know what the words they say.

After that, walked all the way to paragon. I went to M1 and said hello to some of my ex-colleagues =). Then we were at the mini-fountain outside paragon playing with the dirty dirty fountain water -__________-.

Now im home...bored, waiting for the rest to get home. Coughing alot, seems like the max ill have is this open can at the moment =/ . Oh well, life goes on. Seems im pretty much more angry then sad.

"Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity."

-Red carded subsitute-

Oh well, The end.
At least its 3/4 over.

Also, its over.
Short it was.
Alas, if its not meant to be, its not meant to be.
Also, if a 3rd party stops it, its definately not meant to be.
*shrug*
Maybe its time to go back to start caring for myself.
Maybe i shouldnt have started at all.

Once,twice,thrice, what difference will it make.
In the end its still the same.
Am i that unlucky?
Or do i always do something wrong?

And dude,your my friend.
Yet its still like this.
And your not happy with me?
Too bad, your still my friend.
I wonder why i should even bother.
Fine, maybe i wont.
Maybe you have to realise this yourself.
Do me a favour, Help your self.

I still feel bitter.
Tormented.
Perhaps ill be Leshric the tormented soul.
Torment around me,Torment in me, Torment be with me.And let us conquer our foes.They do not understand our pain.Do you?No. Not a soul can. And for that, we shall make them feel our torment...The torment that inhabits my soul.

Selfish i may now be,
i hope the most it'll be is until 30th October.
For the next 27 days, what fun it will be.

Maybe, i just need alone time.

Great, you take things for granted
Now your blaming me?
You want the truth?
DONT BE SELFISH.
Im not talking about money.
Only when its gone then you realise the value.
All day you think of a few things, have you gotten your piorities right?

Now theres another one.
Fine....
You know what?
Screw you all.

Oh sure its my fault i liked someone.
Oh sure its my fault.
Blame me.
Blame nut.
Multi-purpose scrapeNUT.

Why couldnt you have told me...?
Why couldnt you have told anyone...?
Why must you wait till its no more then tell someone?
I treated you as a brother.
Now this is happening....What do you want?
Why did you wait till it was no longer around then yearn for it?
Is it because you take things for granted?
My "brother", i never knew about anything.
Its not that i didnt want to know,
Its that you never bothered to tell me.
Now everything's in a mess.
People are confused , sad and angry.
And now it seems like its my fault?
Feelings are not meant to be controlled by other people.
Only you can control your feelings.
Now things are like this.

Why?
Because you never said anything.