Officially out!

Well okay not yet. Not until the end of this week at least.
By the end of this week I will be officially out of the calendar.

What do I feel about it? Nada..Zero..Nothing...Zilch. It was never an issue with me as it is with some people. I even say it out loud when people ask how old I am.

18...21...25...30... these are all the same to me. No big changes at least the obvious ones.

I am not as conscious this time around compared to last year. Not to say that I don't plan to celebrate because I am. Two celebrations in fact and that's what I am looking forward to.

Some people around me are getting worried that I am reaching this age...not married, not even in a relationship. But I am not worried at all. If its going to come, its going to come. I am not going to force something that isn't bound to happen just yet. "Mapait ang hinog sa pilit" hahaha No need to worry about me.

Yes..I am turning 32 this Friday.

Here comes the bill

To split or not to split

I don't know about other people but when I eat out with my family and friends, we usually don't split the bill. Splitting the bill means paying with two or three modes of payment for one bill. Either we divide up the entire bill on how many we are then put in that money or one pays first then divide it up later. It doesn't matter if its cash or credit card. I don't know about when we order our own because frankly its been awhile since we have done that. We eat "family style" a lot of times. We order one of each - appetizer, salad and entree then put it in the middle for everyone to share. This works for us. Or on very rare occasions that we order individually, we put in the same amount to cover for the entire bill and tips. Or inform the server ahead of time to make it separate bills. I don't know, its just easier that way both for us and for our server.

This came to mind when I saw this big group and I mean big group like 15 of them when my aunt and I ate out last night. They gave the server 2 modes of payment but 3 types - cash and 2 credit cards with instructions on how much to get from each. How did I know this? Well, they were standing really close to me and they were pretty loud so it wasn't hard to hear. I saw how the server struggled with the bill to follow the instructions. I mean, it could have lessened the hassle if they told the server in advance to split it or made internal arrangements among themselves before settling the bill. Good thing it was almost the end of business day so it wasn't busy anymore. Imagine if it was. I know there are restaurants that either tell you to inform the server beforehand or don't allow it all. I know I ate somewhere and it was specified on the menu that 'no splitting of bill". I just don't remember where.

Eating in big groups is not alien to me. Their group of 15 is not big compared to us. We have been denied reservation during dinner service because it would mean for the restaurant closing half of their seating capacity. We either eat before or after the rush hour. Yes, we are that big and that's only immediate family. So if you hear "so and so, party of 40" That's probably us and that's not even half of all us and that's only my mother's side of the family. But same thing, either its split evenly among us or one pays first.

I guess different strokes for different folks.

Where art thou...

Good Friday?

Its Good Friday and I am at work. There is no such thing as Holy Week here unlike in the Philippines where its really felt. No shows on tv, no newspapers, no radio. Majority of the stores are closed. Here, its business as usual so we try to make one of our own. We will be closing early today though which helps.

I miss going to Calvary Hill to do the Stations of the Cross with my family. Calvary Hill has big-sized statues of the Stations of the Cross. Its almost like our personal reenactment of Christ's passion. We literally go up the hill as we do the stations ending up at the very top where an even bigger statue of the risen Jesus Christ is. Its quite a climb. Its used to be more treacherous when the way was just paved. Now I believe it has steps. But there are loads of people and not to mention the weather. Good Friday for some strange reasons falls on the hottest day of the year, at least in my experience. The climb is hard, then the crowd then the weather, it can take a toll on anyone which is I guess why its such a relief once one gets to the top. Not only is it a sense of accomplishment but its a lot breezier at the top. But then, you just catch your breath there to make the trip going down.

Here, to do my share, I am going to leave work earlier than our closing time and pass by the church. I will do the Stations of the Cross by myself like I have been doing for the past few years. This is my reflection time so I prefer going on my own. For that brief moment, it will feel like Good Friday to me. Then once I set foot out of the church doors, its back to "normal".

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Serenity and Tranquility?

Sometimes I feel like I am going through life in a rush. I know that we should live life as if its our last but must it be done in warp speed? Sometimes in our desire to do so many things, attend to so many things at the same time, we lose sight of what is really important - us. I believe that what we hold important, defines us. So now, work takes up most of time and it seems its whats defining me. I am not really liking it. Thanks to Kaytee, I have found a site that might actually reel me in to slow down, to take stock of my life, of what is important to me, of where I want to go, on what direction I want to lead, on who I want to be - Zen Habits.

Early this year, instead of making resolutions, I decided to come up with a mantra for my life. I have the general ideas mapped out, its just the details that I haven't gotten around to doing yet. I haven't been able to really sit down on it which is sad since the first quarter of the year is almost going to be over. I hope with the help of Zen Habits, I will be able to get around to doing it especially since a big bulk if not the entire mantra is covered there.

Simplify my life. be Happy. Act on my passion. Live. Love

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Simple joys in life?

With the warm and sunny weather we have been having, I feel like I am not making the most of it. When I get home, I am so tired that I take power naps when I should be enjoying the sunshine. I want to..

- bike around the block or around a park
- eat an ice cream cone and try to catch it as it melts into my hands
- buy a dozen balloons, take photographs and release them to the sky
- sit in one corner and watch people go by

Papaya: the New Macarena

Thanks to Isy for informing me about it. Apparently, the dance craze that started in "Game Ka Na Ba? has now reached US soils. Good Morning America featured the "Papaya" on today's show. They referred to it as the new Macarena. A bit late for them because for sure the entire Philippines and Filipinos all over the world have been dancing to this since last year or the year prior. Late or not, its so nice to see this being featured on a widely watched show on a big network. It was so nice seeing the likes of Diane Sawyer, Robin Roberts, Chris Cuomo and Sam Champion trying to learn the dance.

For now, I have this link to the video. I will look for a video of it later. YT is blocked at my office. Actually I gave my access to the OM since only one of us can have access to it. The rest of the staff do not.

Watch it here!

Feng shoo

My boss is a big believer of Feng shui. He actually hired someone to check our office and did what was recommended. This feng shui expert even asked me about my birthday. I guess I am not a bad omen since I am still here. My office is huge - its me and 3 other staff all with desks, computers and the like. Our layout has been changed quite a few times. We used to all face the door with the windows behind us. This was changed since according to the feng shui expert supposedly we shouldn't face the door. Also, that our backs should-nt be in front of any electronics. Hence, our computers face each other too. The photocopying machine and fax machine were also placed in a different room because we cannot have too many office equipment near us. Bad for our health or something. Good thing, both are just across the hall so its still accessible. So now we all face each other, with our backs to the walls and the windows and door on each side. I like this set-up especially when its spring. I see the mountains even a bit far, the sun, the skies, people and cars. It doesn't feel gloomy and dark. Its actually light. Plus, I have some light when I come to work early and the timer isn't ready to turn on our lights. Another reason why I like this set-up is because I have a clear view of my entire staff. I know when they are working or just pretending to be. I also don't have to stand up if I need to ask a question.

I thought this was done but then one of the windows is directly in front of the door, so to counteract that, plants were placed near the windows. No complain from me. Its nice to have other living things in the room. BUT, the past few weeks, there have been bugs flying around. They are not really harmful or what but they bug, no pun intended. They are annoying when they hover all over you when you have a deadline to catch (or a blog to finish ) I don't like the smell of insecticide so I guess I just have to contend myself with swatting them away from me. Bugs, I can deal with, rocking the "yin-yang" of the whole room, nope.

"My Blueberry Nights"

Having a strong woman role model around me in Mama needless to say I am also drawn to strong female characters as well in movies, tv, music and the like. "My Blueberry Nights" has "girl power" written all over it and more. The plot description of the movie says it all - "A young woman takes a soul-searching journey across America to resolve her questions about love while encountering a series of offbeat characters along the way." It will open in limited release starting April 4. I hope to catch this in theaters.

Aside from the plot, others to love about this film...

• It is written and directed by Wong Kar Wai of As Tears Go By, Chungking Express, In The Mood for Love, 2046 and others. This is also his first English-language film
  
• Natalie Portman, Norah Jones and Rachel Weisz (oh okay Jude Law too)
• Nominated for a Golden Palm at the 2007 Cannes Film Festival

Although based on the plot, it seems like my cup of tea, I prefer to not put high expectations on films I want to watch because I prefer to watch it with a clean slate. No expectations therefore no disappointments if it turns out lesser that what I thought. Be surprised instead if it exceeds expectations. We will see.

Lessons from my mother

Between my parents Mama is the quiet one but she is by no means a pushover. No one would dare push her around. I say quiet in terms of when they sit us down for a family meeting or something, its Papa who usually does if not all of the talking. Mama is by his side, a silent message of saying "I agree with what Papa is saying." So any thoughts of going through Mama to lessen the blow forget about it because its not going to fly. The only times we go through Mama is when we want something and isn't sure if Papa will be okay with it. If it it is fine with Mama, you can count on her to be an ally. My parents have always been a package deal. What I mean with this is, there is no such thing as a house divided. If we ask permission from Mama, count on her asking if we already asked from Papa and vice versa. So if we think we are smart enough to think that we can bypass one of them, we are lying to ourselves. Sure she nags once in awhile but its usually because we don't do what she tells us to do right away like fixing our closet or cleaning our room or anything she wants us to do. You better have a really good reason why its not done right away.

Between the two though its Mama who is the harder nut to crack. Papa has this tough, strict front but when it comes to us, his children, he is such a softie. But, Mama she is more firm. She has to see that the action merits you to be back on her good graces. No she doesn't harbor grudges but she just wants to make sure that it really was a lesson learned on our part.

Mama may be the quieter one but when she speaks, for some strange reasons it stays with you. It gets ingrained in us like no other. I know she told me things when I was about to go college and 10 years later I still remember them, like a constant whisper in my ear. Its not an annoying whisper that is on constant loop but when just as I am about to do or decide on something, what she has said that fits the situation pops up in my brain. Before we went to college, she told us "you are going to Manila to study and not to be in a relationship". True enough we all finished on time and if one of us would be in a relationship it was towards the end of college. On expenditures, "scrimp on anything but food". People should see us when we eat out. On guys, "don't believe a guy who shows up with different cars each time, there's a big possibility those are not his." It sounds funny but us girls have learned that there is more to a person than the car he drives. We actually know little to nothing about cars so don't even attempt to use it on us. She has more and as soon as I am able to remember them all, I will compile them in a journal. I will ask for contributions from my siblings as well.

Early this year, my brother went through a life changing episode and is still adjusting. Nicco found himself at the start of the journey again. Mama was with him pretty much round-the-clock. Not asking, not pestering, not investigating, just a silent force, waiting until he was ready to speak. There were days his revelations came in droves, some in trickles but as they come, Mama (and Papa too) listened. She didn't just hear, she listened and I think and feel that made all the difference. My brother, I think and I believe is in a better place now. He is a lot happier and surging on. We don't know the pain he went through, the extent of it all because he chose to shield us from it. We do know though that it must have been painful enough that he said and decided that enough was enough. He had reached the end of his rope and there was no turning back. Make no mistake, we empathize but like they said, we have to take care of our own first and that's what we did. We have taken a cue from our parents not to ask so much. My sisters and I get our updates from our parents. Then a few days ago, she told me something that she told my brother that struck me so much. I think it was bar none the best one. I don't remember the exact thing she said but in essence she was saying "never let anyone make you feel that you are any less. Never let anyone make you feel inferior because you are not and never will be." WOW!

To me that was so powerful. Our parents never made us feel that we cannot do anything. They supported us with whatever we wanted to do. They never made us feel that we didn't deserve whatever good graces we are getting. They never once told us to settle, to just take whatever there is when we can have more, be more. Be better, not from everyone else, but be better versions of who and what we are. I know it pained them to know that someone else made an attempt to make one of us feel that we are not worthy. I think my brother thought that it came with the territory but after some time he realized and knew that it wasn't. I am glad that he realized it before it came to an even more dire situation. As for what Mama said, I know she told that to Nicco but it applies to us, girls as well. I think it should apply to everyone. No one should be allowed to tell us that we are unworthy, that we are beneath them.

Thank you, Papa and Mama!

Speechless

Literally.

I have lost my voice and its not due to the fight last Saturday. I may have laryngitis so I was put on antibiotics already. My voice ranges from audible to almost whisper in the same sentence. I have to refrain from talking which is tough. On the positive side though, this means that I wont be able to take phone calls at work. Yay! I am really not doing much to do something about it. I still put ice in my water and I am still eating ice cream. Its Haagen Dazs Green Tea. Its only for a limited time. I know excuses..excuses. But its really good. Its not too sweet and its so silky smooth. I have finished a pint already in a span of a week and I am ready to get another one.

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Anthony Bourdain is one of my favorite chefs/food show host. He has this quirky way of describing the food he tries and best of all he is really open to trying new things and immersing himself into the culture that he is featuring. I have been hoping that he would feature the Philippines soon and show the world that there is more to our food than balut or dinuguan. So I was so excited to know that his show on The Travel Channel called No Reservation is having a fan casting-call. Its a chance for a fan to be his travel companion in one of his upcoming episodes. Marvin of Burnt Lumpia sent in a video. Marvin is really passionate about Filipino food and its so heartwarming to read his posts as he discovers Filipino cuisine on his own. I agree with Marvin that Filipino cuisine is so much more than balut. Sad to say when people think of Filipino cuisine all they think about are the weird and bizarre foods we eat. We have more to offer than that. This could be a chance for people to be enlightened. I wish Marvin all the best. You can watch his audition video from his blog or here.

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Reading Gail's post about Leyte Dance Theater made me homesick. Its been awhile since I watched their performance. I think it was probably 3 or 4 years ago. They had a US tour sometime last year I believe but there was a conflict in schedule so I wasn't able to watch it. I hope they have a tour again. I count myself lucky that I was sort of part of it for a short time. Some of the original members were my teachers when I started ballet lessons when I was 5 until I was 10. That was for 5 summers. I fondly call the founder Tito Jess and he was my last instructor before I quit. I still get that yearning from time to time especially after watching their performances. If you want to see videos of some of their performances, someone was nice enough to upload it on Youtube. But this has to be my favorite. Here is part 1 of the dance. It still makes me cry and gives me goosebumps when I watch it.

Head in a fog

That's what I feel today.

I feel like there's a ton of bricks on top of my head. Its so heavy. Its so heavy that I feel the strain at the back of my neck. My neck is trying its darndest to keep me afloat today. My BP was low yesterday. Not that low but lower than what is considered normal. I took 100mg of Tylenol which helped.

I know I should have listened to my boss' advice, who also happens to be a doctor that I should rest. But nope, I am here at work, trying to be productive when I really don't feel good. I don't think I will be rest anyway at home. Either I will be online or watching tv. That's still not resting.

My head is so heavy. My throat is dry and itchy. My neck hurts. My cough is back. I am just waiting for the colds to come back and this is already an encore presentation. Geez! I think that's why my head hurts because my cold is still trapped somewhere. This is what they call head cold. I'd rather have runny nose than this heavy feeling. Argh!

Classic

I was watching the Onsite video of the wedding of RJ Ledesma and Vanessa Pastor from Jason Magbanua's site. He (Jason) posted the video of RJ's famous Royal Tru-Orange commercial in the late 80's and boy did it bring back memories. If I know the exact year this was shown, I would know how many years it has been. Vanessa, on the other hand was a model for Penshoppe and I think the very first batch. I remember liking her before after seeing her photos from the print and tv ads of Penshoppe. I may have even cut out her photos from newspapers and magazines. Yes, I was that into tv that I remember commercials and they were part of my viewing pleasure. She was the girl with a hat on a boat with someone in one of the commercials. I saw that particular clip again when I watched the photo montage that Jason Magbanua made for their wedding. Wow! It was nice seeing it again. The RTO and the Penshoppe commercials are already classics and I would be so glad to see them again. Well, the RTO is on YouTube. The Penshoppe one isn't.

updates and more updates

My lips are dry and chapped and a bit painful. I hope it just badly needs some lip balm and not an indication of something hmmm like a fever.

People at home are coughing and sneezing again. Oh my! Some people call it the "winter virus" because it never seems to go away. Its like the waves in the ocean..it comes and goes..comes and goes..never really leaving.

My throats is itchy again. I really hope that I am not getting anything or coming down with anything again. I know I need to rest and for some strange reason I only get to do that when I am about to get sick. But I promise this time I will really take better care of myself. Its my birthday month, I don't want to be sick on my birthday.

My head hurts and it feels heavy too!

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I think I may have unconsciously (and partially) given up tv watching for Lent. Almost everyone I know has given up something for Lent except for my sister and myself. We didn't give up anything or so I thought. For the past few days I haven't really been watching tv much. If you know me and know how I can get glued to the tv for long periods of time, the time I have spent watching tv lately isn't much. Its usually for just shows that are having finales like Project Runway that I watch. Other than that, I have been retreating to my room and sleeping or reading. I don't even watch the news.

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My sister and I semi-stalked this one girl at mall because we liked the jacket that she was wearing. I don't think asking her about the jacket two times classifies as stalking but when the second trip to ask her was intentionally and planned well, I guess it is. Boo though we went to the store that she mentioned where she (or her friend) got it and its not there anymore. Its not even in the store's website. I hope we see it somewhere.

ETA: She works in one of the stores so its not like we chased her around the mall.

I am so glad my sister is here. I thought I wouldn't say that but I am (peace Jehann!). We just decided to meet up at the mall, have lunch and went around. Yes, we did some shopping which was fun. We got matching jackets LOL yellow at that. No, its not some uniform but since we live in different houses during the week, its not that easy to trade clothes unless they become frisbees of some sort. So, getting identical ones is the next best option.

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So Daylight Savings Time has begun. I don't know its so early but I welcome it. At least there's still sunlight when I get home which allows me to do more things. If there is still daylight, I am less compelled to laze around and take naps. Its just a waste of sunshine to do that. Sayang ang araw! I hope that will translate going to the gym more often.

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I guess it already reached almost everyone's consciousness about the mockery that was the Bb. Pilipinas pageant over the weekend. I am not going to post the Youtube clip. I think she has been viewed way too much already. I didn't get to watch it because well I had other things to do plus my uncle doesn't have PinoyTV. But, my aunt let me on the scoop. When my aunt was telling us about it, I guess my aunt wasn't aware of what the results was because she made no mention of it but that very same girl is now the Philippines representative to the Ms. World pageant. Goodness! Hearing stories like these made me miss my cousins back in Manila. The three of us used to have a ritual when it was beauty pageant season in the Philippines. On the day of the show, we make sure we have a steady supply of ice cream and cake and we position ourselves in front of the tv and wait for the Q&A portion. We get a kick at how some of the candidates answer the question. That is usually the highlight of the show for us. Mean of us I know!