It's been a couple of weeks since I last wrote, so there's much to share. I managed to recover from the bad coffee experience and yes Drew the beer is OK in Alice - save only for the fact it's not made there no doubt. As for the incident which drove me there seems eons ago now, but for the curious cats amongst us it involved kids, a puppy, broken bones and subsequently puppy heaven. And that's nothin'.

I made my first official drive from Alice to K with 3 volunteers from Melbourne. There are only 3 turns along the 530km trip, but the 2nd - at P could have got ugly. "Find the school and go down the road opposite all the way to the K turn off, some 300km along", I was told. With no signs to indicate the school or the road or K it meant it was a bit hit and miss. "If you get to Western Australia you've gone too far". cheers! Of course I didn't tell the volunteers I was a bit clueless until I was sure we'd taken the right road. I was sweating a bit because I was looking for a dry creek bed with tall shady red river gums to light the way and it wasn't forthcoming when I thought it should have been. Thank the loooooooooooord, it arrived just in the nick of time, about an hour and 100km's ish out of P. And you thought I had no sense of direction...... So we arrived in K after a lazy 8 hour drive. 2 months feels more like 2 years, so it was interesting to introduce Kate, Belinda and Rob to K and hear about their first impressions. On their first night they met T - one of K's finest. The local cop. Let's just say he didn't leave them with a lasting first impression after they spotted the 2 rifles and 3000 odd shell casings in his back seat. He wasn't shy about demonstrating the purpose of that rifle by the way. Oh and his "I don't hate them I just resent them"comment was a winner. "They" needs no explanation I'm sure - he wasn't referring to the flies. I did however assure them, that despite that first night meeting he is actually quite a softy and not really the plonker he appears to be. Well, imagne how I felt when, the following day - their first full day in K we were over at the 'Green Shed' (youth centre, which is by the way a big green shed), when we heard sporadic banging from outside. I must admit I have become accustomed to many of the sounds out here so I thought nothing of it. The bangs got gradually louder, the last of which was succeeded by the sounds of a yelping, screaming, hysterical dog. I immediately thought" those littel bastards" thinking the kids were doing some unheard of cruel thing to one of the family pets, but upon further examination it was none other than the lovely T brandishing one of his many rifles chasing after a rather determined to live canine. I burst into tears (again) and said "what the f#$%^&* are you doing?" to which he replied "shootin' dogs mate". I said "And why would you do that?" he said "because C wants his scabies ridden beast shot and I'm sorry but I have to do it and I didn't know you were all in there". So I conceded that he was in fact doing what he had to do, but what a second introduction for the poor volunteers. He tells me that dog was the "toughest little bastard he's seen, he took 5 bullets". So did the water pipe at the green shed by the way, so now we not only have dirt, dust, snot, poo, urine and lord knows what else over there, we now have it with no water. So that's T, but he really is a good bloke???

On kate, Belinda and Rob's 5th day, a couple of the older ladies in the community offered to take them on a bush trip. C leant us her car, so we piled 3 ladies and 3 kids in the back with the 3 vols and off we went, kangaroo tails, tea bags and flour for damper in tow. We made a few stops along the way. It is pretty amazing to observe the inate sense of directions these folk have. We drove over small trees, shrubs, ant hills in no apparent direction and we eventually arrived at Womens water hole. At one point I had a bit of a giggle to myself. We were traversing the countryside when the ladies begun to speak to eachother in language. I inwardly wondered whether they were asking eachother if any of them knew where the hell we were. So we eventuallya rrived and set up camp. We were building a fire, when E with shovel in hand spotted a Blue Tongue darting past. She scrambled after it belting the shovel down on the earth to my protestations of "No, don't hurt him, he's our friend" (idiot!!) to which E replied "NO, we eat im'" , "oh ok" I replied feeling rather like a twat. We cooked the roo tails, and the blue tongue,made some damper, ate some bush foods and headed home. Blue tongue tastes exactly like chicken. Yum!

Last night we ran a disco as we try to every friday night. We do a community BBQ where all the profits go back into the community coffers for the purchase of materials or anything we need. It was the first one we were running without C being present so it was a big night for me. It started with me taking a lighter and a fire lighter off a 6 year old who had seen some boys down the back lighting them. I promptly requested they quit lighting fires inside, otherwise we'd all go home. They of course ignored me. So I went to get the police - the lovely T was not on call so J came instead. That did'nt work either, so quite afraid of whether I'd leave with my femurs intact (they LOVE discos) I asked Rob to turn off the music, grabbed one of the community members, A and stood up the front and told them in no uncertain terms that they had their chance and they blew it, so go home. That was the looooongest 3 seconds of my life because all 300 of them from babes in arms to big burly warlpiri men just started at me. I was secretly saying "oh shit", so A translated and they protested a little until they realised I was fair dinkum they stood up and left. So I live to see another day in K. Until next time, 'Seeya"

Al

I bought a swag today! I'm a bit excited. I needed something to offset the bad coffee experiences I've been having.

Shall I tell you about them?

Firstly, I should explain that I'm back in Alice again after a rather challenging week last week at the end of which I lost the plot. Details not required but suffice it to say I've been banished to the big smoke for a debriefing before heading straight back into the battle zone. Although after the last couple of days, I'm not sure which is more traumatic........Gotta look at the funny side. I arrived in Alice on Thursday night and am staying until Easter Sunday. On Friday morning I went into the restaurant to have some breakfast before work. (I'm borrowing some office space while I'm here). Breakfast is included in the room charge which my employer picks up, but I always order a latte and pay for it separately. On the morning in question, I requested said latte which arrived looking rather like a Melbourne day in Winter. Pale and miserable. I knew, I just KNEW before that first sip that it was going to be ugly but I gave it the benefit the doubt. In I plunged. Just as I'd thought. It was depressing. I couldn't even taste the coffee and I'm sorry but I just can't stand bad coffee so when I got half way through it (I tried ALRIGHT!) I had to ask for another one just a little bit stronger.All good UNTIL, the following morning, when time came again to order my latte. Fearing a repeat of yesterday, the waiter, who for the purpose of this update we'll call BOB with a KN, bought me a latte with a 3 inch head of froth on it. I'm not joking the damn froth covered half the glass. Of course I couldn't let it pass so I asked him (ie:Bob with a KN - knob) if he would kindly put some more milk in it for me. He took it away and returned with a full glass of coffee. Good colour, perfect. Or so I thought. The damn thing was cold. I know what you're thinking, it wasn't my fault. It was cold I swear. I swear!! I think I might have even laughed out loud to myself. I even considered just shutting up and drinking it, but again I feel I have an obligation to the coffee drinking public to make a stand SO I picked up the glass, walked over to KNOB, handed him the glass and said "Thank you for the coffee, but It's cold. Don't worry about bringing another one, it's fine", at which point he silently took the glass away while I returned to my table contemplating how far I'd have to stick my leg out to trip him over. Now comes the punch line.....He walked up to my table to kindly inform me that he's no coffee maker (NO SHIT?) and that one of the girls would bring me a coffee in a moment. Thank you, I replied at which point he leant over and said "You're from Melbourne aren't you"? Of course you can only imagine how I took that so I thought I'll stuff him and I replied "I'm from K, at which point he looked at me with a tilted head and raised eyebrows. I said "OK I'm not from but that's where I live" to which he finally replied "Yeah but before that you came from Melbourne right?" So I conclude that it's not my fault I'm so......so fond of my coffee. If a whole damn state can get it right why can't one knob in the Alice Springs casino for gods sake.
After breakfast I took up a pozzy poolside, until such a time as I slipped into the pool - with my portable phone nestled between my breasts. It was brought to my attention when it started vibrating uncontrollably. Suffice it to say I think it was heamorraging, so I promptly placed it on the side of the pool and kept swimming. I figured if I stayed in the pool no one would see me crying with rage. I hold that knob in the restaurnat solely responsible. Incidentally I haven't ordered a coffee since. I do however have a new portable phone, though that was no easy feat either.