And in the realm of "every character is someone's favorite" I spent several hours talking King Arthur with a guy who said Tristan was his favorite knight.
But we bonded over hating that asshole Lancelot.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Why didn't any of you tell me to read this one earlier?
I have the perfect bathtub in my apartment here. The one in Oklahoma was too small, and boxed into the wall so that you were extra-cramped. But this one? Perfect length to stretch out in, with open space for my head on one side. It's not too big, not like a swimming pool, but it is just right to sit and read in. And that's pretty much waht I've been doing since I got this apartment so far from the places with English-language comics are sold with the not entirely reliable internet service.
I've been making my way through the trade paperbacks that I bought while I was in the US and never got around to reading. There's some stuff that was recommended by various people over the years (often the comic book store clerk), some of what I like to call "Fan research" (traded collections I bought because they were affecting the current storyline in books I was reading), books that have a writer/artist/character I am guaranteed to love, curiosity buys ("Hmm, everyone talks about how awesome this writer was, and here he is on a character I've never gotten into but am kind of interested in..."), and impulse buys based on genre. Now, these have piled up for various reasons voer the years. Sometimes I am not in te mood to read that genre anymore when I get home. Sometimes I bought it knowing I wouldn't read it right away, but wanted to someday. Sometimes I have every intentiopn of reading it, but it comes out the same week as Green Lantern or something that completely takes over my mindset for several months.
So today I come across The Tomb (Christina Weir, Nunzio Defillippis, Christopher Mitten). Now, I bought this book over a year ago when I was looking for horror stories and I set it on a pile without thinking twice about it. Ad now I feel very bad about that, because this is a story that I have wanted to read for years. I was a big Indiana Jones fan as a kid. Not in the "ooh, isn't he handsome and heroic" fan way that little girls are assumed to be (though oddly I've yet to meet a girl who was a fan of that sort of thing because she wanted to be the girlfriend in the story) but in a "that looks like the coolest way to live Mom can I be an archaeologist when I grow up, huh Mom huh Mom?!" way.
Utlimately, though, it was the adventure aspect and not the old things aspect that attracted me to the story, and Mom was spared the tuition payments as I shunned a lifetime of digging up ancient sites and meticulously cataloguing shards of terra cotta pottery. To be honest, I've shunned a real life of adventure as well (I ended up going for a regimented, structured job that didn't require much actual thought, because thinking is hard) but I still fucking love adventure stories.
And I still fucking love adventure stories that involve dealing with the remnants of ancient civilizations. It's why I'm such a reader of crackpot literature.
Anyway, as a kid I wanted an adventurer archaeologist who was a girl. I really badly did, and honestly Lara Croft just didn't cut it for me. Yeah, the <I>Tomb Raider</i> movie was fun at points, and so is the game but there's a cold two-dimensional aspect to the character that I think comes from ramping up her sex appeal to the detriment of warmth and humanity. She never really won my interest. Although I do like the character design (yes, even with the giant boobs--omeone women are built topheavy), there's something in her face that is just off. Something artificial, though as she's a video game character and Harrison Ford was an actual living human being, I might be being a bit unfair here. Still, Lara Croft just seems too robotic for me as a character.
This Jessica Parrish character, though? She's got the warmth and humanity. Not warmth as in Sue Richards maternal warmth, this is a college professor with the professional woman toughness vibe. She's actually described as outwardly cold by the narrator (who also repeatedly describes her as strong, which would make me wince except the character's actions back up the narrator's impressions), but there's heart behind that coldness. She's not a femmebot, she's a person. The character rings true as a person. Something no Croft story I've seen or read has managed.
So we have a short adventure/horror story set in the modern day about people who stole from old tombs and really shouldn't have, narrated by a crackpot tabloid journalist and starring a heroic female character.
So what I want to know is--are there more stories about this one?
I've been making my way through the trade paperbacks that I bought while I was in the US and never got around to reading. There's some stuff that was recommended by various people over the years (often the comic book store clerk), some of what I like to call "Fan research" (traded collections I bought because they were affecting the current storyline in books I was reading), books that have a writer/artist/character I am guaranteed to love, curiosity buys ("Hmm, everyone talks about how awesome this writer was, and here he is on a character I've never gotten into but am kind of interested in..."), and impulse buys based on genre. Now, these have piled up for various reasons voer the years. Sometimes I am not in te mood to read that genre anymore when I get home. Sometimes I bought it knowing I wouldn't read it right away, but wanted to someday. Sometimes I have every intentiopn of reading it, but it comes out the same week as Green Lantern or something that completely takes over my mindset for several months.
So today I come across The Tomb (Christina Weir, Nunzio Defillippis, Christopher Mitten). Now, I bought this book over a year ago when I was looking for horror stories and I set it on a pile without thinking twice about it. Ad now I feel very bad about that, because this is a story that I have wanted to read for years. I was a big Indiana Jones fan as a kid. Not in the "ooh, isn't he handsome and heroic" fan way that little girls are assumed to be (though oddly I've yet to meet a girl who was a fan of that sort of thing because she wanted to be the girlfriend in the story) but in a "that looks like the coolest way to live Mom can I be an archaeologist when I grow up, huh Mom huh Mom?!" way.
Utlimately, though, it was the adventure aspect and not the old things aspect that attracted me to the story, and Mom was spared the tuition payments as I shunned a lifetime of digging up ancient sites and meticulously cataloguing shards of terra cotta pottery. To be honest, I've shunned a real life of adventure as well (I ended up going for a regimented, structured job that didn't require much actual thought, because thinking is hard) but I still fucking love adventure stories.
And I still fucking love adventure stories that involve dealing with the remnants of ancient civilizations. It's why I'm such a reader of crackpot literature.
Anyway, as a kid I wanted an adventurer archaeologist who was a girl. I really badly did, and honestly Lara Croft just didn't cut it for me. Yeah, the <I>Tomb Raider</i> movie was fun at points, and so is the game but there's a cold two-dimensional aspect to the character that I think comes from ramping up her sex appeal to the detriment of warmth and humanity. She never really won my interest. Although I do like the character design (yes, even with the giant boobs--omeone women are built topheavy), there's something in her face that is just off. Something artificial, though as she's a video game character and Harrison Ford was an actual living human being, I might be being a bit unfair here. Still, Lara Croft just seems too robotic for me as a character.
This Jessica Parrish character, though? She's got the warmth and humanity. Not warmth as in Sue Richards maternal warmth, this is a college professor with the professional woman toughness vibe. She's actually described as outwardly cold by the narrator (who also repeatedly describes her as strong, which would make me wince except the character's actions back up the narrator's impressions), but there's heart behind that coldness. She's not a femmebot, she's a person. The character rings true as a person. Something no Croft story I've seen or read has managed.
So we have a short adventure/horror story set in the modern day about people who stole from old tombs and really shouldn't have, narrated by a crackpot tabloid journalist and starring a heroic female character.
So what I want to know is--are there more stories about this one?
Monday, October 06, 2008
And now, a brief moment to lament my exile.
The further I get from tech school the more exhausting I find formal school to be. I had a five-day computer course last week (not counting spending all fucking day at the place on Saturday while those morons set up the network so they could do the test. Something they could've done--I don't know--Friday afternoon while we were all studying our books?!) and it really kicked my ass. Today, I get to work and get moved from my comfortable expected duty to another classroom. Yeesh.
I think not getting my weekly dose of comics is getting to me. I get them by mail and hearsay over the internet. It's not the same. I miss the talking Only one other comic geek in the office, and he only keeps track of Marvel through Wikipedia. And beyond Marvel continuity, he's not much for comics conversation. I can blog, but I'm even farther off timezone from all of you tan before so there's no realtime reaction.
I think I was addicted to Wednesday. It wasn't just reading the comics that was relieving the stress. It was the whole local comic shop experience! The real life social aspect of being a geek was just as important to my mental well being as the stimulation to my imagination. It was vital. Some weeks Wednesday afternoon was the only time I saw a humand being who wasn't a coworker. I relished it. I'm going through withdrawal here.
Every week I'd drive to the shop that afternoon no matter what's happened--tornados, snowstorms, elections--nothing could stop me! I'd rush in and Chris would have my stack in his hands along with some of his recommendations. Chris had the best taste in art. I'd spend anywhere from a few minutes to several hours chatting with a couple of certified geeks about writers and artists, politics, and who last slept with Nightwing. We'd resolve the personal problems of our favorite superheroes, come up with surefire plans that would make comics popular again, determine the best way to write a strong female character, and save the country from its leaders before we each wlked out with our little pamphletts of four-color joy.
I miss that.
I think not getting my weekly dose of comics is getting to me. I get them by mail and hearsay over the internet. It's not the same. I miss the talking Only one other comic geek in the office, and he only keeps track of Marvel through Wikipedia. And beyond Marvel continuity, he's not much for comics conversation. I can blog, but I'm even farther off timezone from all of you tan before so there's no realtime reaction.
I think I was addicted to Wednesday. It wasn't just reading the comics that was relieving the stress. It was the whole local comic shop experience! The real life social aspect of being a geek was just as important to my mental well being as the stimulation to my imagination. It was vital. Some weeks Wednesday afternoon was the only time I saw a humand being who wasn't a coworker. I relished it. I'm going through withdrawal here.
Every week I'd drive to the shop that afternoon no matter what's happened--tornados, snowstorms, elections--nothing could stop me! I'd rush in and Chris would have my stack in his hands along with some of his recommendations. Chris had the best taste in art. I'd spend anywhere from a few minutes to several hours chatting with a couple of certified geeks about writers and artists, politics, and who last slept with Nightwing. We'd resolve the personal problems of our favorite superheroes, come up with surefire plans that would make comics popular again, determine the best way to write a strong female character, and save the country from its leaders before we each wlked out with our little pamphletts of four-color joy.
I miss that.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Call for Submissions: 22nd Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans
Where: Space Westerns: Sideshow (Announcement)
When: November 2nd
How Long Until Submissions Close: Until October 28th
Who: Nathen E. Lilly submissions2018[AT]spacewesterns[DOT]com or the submission form
What: Women in Space Westerns
The long hiatus is my own fault. I've made a sudden move across the ocean and am still settling down. Forgive the five-month break between issues. --R.
When: November 2nd
How Long Until Submissions Close: Until October 28th
Who: Nathen E. Lilly submissions2018[AT]spacewesterns[DOT]com or the submission form
What: Women in Space Westerns
The 22nd Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction will be hosted on the SpaceWesterns.com Sideshow. Our specific topic suggestion: Women in Space Westerns. Send submissions (blogged between May 3rd, 2008 and October 28th, 2008) to Nathan E. Lilly. Additional submission information is available on the submissions page.
What is a Space Western? A simple definition: Western genre themes in Outer-space. Often, if the protagonist of the story could accurately be described as a Space Cowboy, then you’ve got a Space Western. A more serious definition is fiction that explores the effect that the frontiers of outer-space have on the human condition.
Space Westerns in film and television include (but are not limited to): Buck Rogers, Flash Gordon, Captain Video and the Video Rangers, Star Trek, Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica, Alien, Galaxy Rangers, Sabre rider and the Star Sheriffs, Marshal Bravestar, Space Hunter, Earth 2, Babylon 5, Farscape, Trigun, Outlaw Star, Cowboy Bebop, Firefly/Serenity, Coyote Ragtime Show, Gun X Sword. Additional works in various other formats can be found at the (Nearly) Complete List of Space Westerns. If you have any questions about why a specific work was included, please feel free to contact me.
Female characters in Space Westerns include (but are not limited to): Wilma Deering, Dale Arden, Nurse Chapel, Lt. Uhura, Yeoman Rand, Princess Leia, Queen Amidala, Ellen Ripley, Lt. Athena, Medtech Cassiopeia, Serina, Cassiopeia, Devon Adaire, D’lenn, Faye Valentine, Radical Ed, Zoe Washburne, Inarra Sera, Kaylee Frye, River Tam, Wendy Garrett, Laura Roslin, Lt. Kara “Starbuck” Thrace, Lt. Sharon “Boomer” Valerii, Six.
Women writers of Space Westerns include (but are not limited to): C.L. Moore, Andre Norton, Leigh Brackett, and Jane Espenson.
The long hiatus is my own fault. I've made a sudden move across the ocean and am still settling down. Forgive the five-month break between issues. --R.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Had a good day today
My god, what an amazing day.
Myt schedule was tight because I got enrolled in some weird class for work that doens't really have much to do with my day to day job. I was a bit late, but I (unlike the poor guy next to me) ended up with a working computer. And despite the class being about equipment and protocols I haven't seen for six years, I didn't have any problems with the material. It's been a really good refresher, actually.
In addition to the class that left very little flexibility for the day's schedule, I had a shitload of errands to do. I got each one that I set my mind to done. My new car passed the safety inspection, which enabled me to get it registered. I am now fully mobile without worries.
I managed to get this done and have a chance to stop for lunch.
In the post office I had mail waiting for me. All good stuff. My JSA Presents: Green Lantern. My absentee ballot. The latest issue of Weird Tales.
I took a wrong turn on the way back to the village and ended up finding a route that is actually going to be really useful in the future.
I made it to my landlady's office after work with two minutes to spare before her assistant left, and so was able to pay my rent by the due date.
I swung by the department store in the walkplatz to see if they still had that decorative metal table and chairs I wanted for my balcony, and they did. And I had cash leftover from the rent for it.
And it folded enough to fit nicely in my hatchback. (Yeah, my new car is a hatchback. And last week I managed to snag an automatic at a reasonable price -- so I own it.)
The bakery had a chocolate and cherry layer cake that I took a chance on and absolutely loved. That I got to eat while sitting outside on my balcony in my new chair.
I took another wrong turn, and found another potentially useful route for when I'm running errands. I also found a flower shop.
After a full day in high heels, my feet didn't hurt. My ankle should be good enough to run for real on. (I sprained it at the beginning of the month.)
I got home with plenty of time for my reading assignment and a relaxing bath.
I took a picture of my with my filled out ballot on a whim, and it turned out to be a pretty kickass Evil Red Riding Hood image. (Original and mood-altered.)
It was the perfect temperature all day, not too cold for my outfit and not too hot.
And while I heard the usual ravens cawing throughout the day (ravens are more common than pigeons here), I also heard something I hadn't noticed in this part of Germany before. Songbirds. I hadn't heard songbirds here yet.
And more amazingly than anything else, today Republicans and Democrats got together and in a rare show of sensibility went "You want us to give HOW MUCH to WHOM?!?!"
Elected officials actually looked at each other and agreed that yes, yes things were bad. Yes we had some rough times ahead. But no, we weren't going to panic and make things worse by giving money to a bunch of guys who are being investigated for fraud. No, we're going to ride it until we come up with a plan that has a snowball's chance of working.
They presented a unified front in favor of common sense and against fear tactics.
That's fucking amazing.
That's seriously something you write home about.
And they listened to the voters, who even more amazingly went "Wait a minute... these guys piddled away the few hundred billion dollars they had on their OWN. Are sure this is a wise investment for OUR money?"
The infamous mob was the voice of reason.
That's fucking astounding.
Now Wall Street is panicking and plummeting.
That's not so surprising.
Don't get me wrong, I know there's bad stuff coming. I firmly believe there's already a depression (it's only now that the rich people noticed it), and it's going to get worse. It could be worse than 1929. Hell, in a few years I might even be camped out in DC with a sign demanding back pay. (Hopefully no one'll release a modern-day MacArthur on us.)
But today? I'm happy. I had good day personally. I had a good day professionally. Congress didn't panic. They didn't go for the quick fix that was guaranteed to backfire and screw us over. There was genuine bipartisan action to stop, collect their thoughts, and try to come up with a sane way to fix things rather than make the dollar worse less than the paper it's printed on.
We--as a people--can officially face a guaranteed period of hardship and still keep our heads.
That--more than any campaign speech or promise--that actually restores a lot of my faith in the government. That restores much of my faith in my fellow countrymen.
Myt schedule was tight because I got enrolled in some weird class for work that doens't really have much to do with my day to day job. I was a bit late, but I (unlike the poor guy next to me) ended up with a working computer. And despite the class being about equipment and protocols I haven't seen for six years, I didn't have any problems with the material. It's been a really good refresher, actually.
In addition to the class that left very little flexibility for the day's schedule, I had a shitload of errands to do. I got each one that I set my mind to done. My new car passed the safety inspection, which enabled me to get it registered. I am now fully mobile without worries.
I managed to get this done and have a chance to stop for lunch.
In the post office I had mail waiting for me. All good stuff. My JSA Presents: Green Lantern. My absentee ballot. The latest issue of Weird Tales.
I took a wrong turn on the way back to the village and ended up finding a route that is actually going to be really useful in the future.
I made it to my landlady's office after work with two minutes to spare before her assistant left, and so was able to pay my rent by the due date.
I swung by the department store in the walkplatz to see if they still had that decorative metal table and chairs I wanted for my balcony, and they did. And I had cash leftover from the rent for it.
And it folded enough to fit nicely in my hatchback. (Yeah, my new car is a hatchback. And last week I managed to snag an automatic at a reasonable price -- so I own it.)
The bakery had a chocolate and cherry layer cake that I took a chance on and absolutely loved. That I got to eat while sitting outside on my balcony in my new chair.
I took another wrong turn, and found another potentially useful route for when I'm running errands. I also found a flower shop.
After a full day in high heels, my feet didn't hurt. My ankle should be good enough to run for real on. (I sprained it at the beginning of the month.)
I got home with plenty of time for my reading assignment and a relaxing bath.
I took a picture of my with my filled out ballot on a whim, and it turned out to be a pretty kickass Evil Red Riding Hood image. (Original and mood-altered.)
It was the perfect temperature all day, not too cold for my outfit and not too hot.
And while I heard the usual ravens cawing throughout the day (ravens are more common than pigeons here), I also heard something I hadn't noticed in this part of Germany before. Songbirds. I hadn't heard songbirds here yet.
And more amazingly than anything else, today Republicans and Democrats got together and in a rare show of sensibility went "You want us to give HOW MUCH to WHOM?!?!"
Elected officials actually looked at each other and agreed that yes, yes things were bad. Yes we had some rough times ahead. But no, we weren't going to panic and make things worse by giving money to a bunch of guys who are being investigated for fraud. No, we're going to ride it until we come up with a plan that has a snowball's chance of working.
They presented a unified front in favor of common sense and against fear tactics.
That's fucking amazing.
That's seriously something you write home about.
And they listened to the voters, who even more amazingly went "Wait a minute... these guys piddled away the few hundred billion dollars they had on their OWN. Are sure this is a wise investment for OUR money?"
The infamous mob was the voice of reason.
That's fucking astounding.
Now Wall Street is panicking and plummeting.
That's not so surprising.
Don't get me wrong, I know there's bad stuff coming. I firmly believe there's already a depression (it's only now that the rich people noticed it), and it's going to get worse. It could be worse than 1929. Hell, in a few years I might even be camped out in DC with a sign demanding back pay. (Hopefully no one'll release a modern-day MacArthur on us.)
But today? I'm happy. I had good day personally. I had a good day professionally. Congress didn't panic. They didn't go for the quick fix that was guaranteed to backfire and screw us over. There was genuine bipartisan action to stop, collect their thoughts, and try to come up with a sane way to fix things rather than make the dollar worse less than the paper it's printed on.
We--as a people--can officially face a guaranteed period of hardship and still keep our heads.
That--more than any campaign speech or promise--that actually restores a lot of my faith in the government. That restores much of my faith in my fellow countrymen.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Of Damsels and Dragons and Downtime
Preface: I'm not writing this in promise of a blogwar. There is a good chance the blogger in question won't ever see it. (There's a better chance she will, though.)
This is just a confession, a post I'm writing to get my thoughts together and get all this misery off my chest so I can look forward to the week with a clear head. And maybe--just maybe--it will help me shake this bout of writer's block.
I've no doubt that if you look at the history of this blog and deep enough you'll find more than one letter implying that I'm tired of writing and think I might leave the blogosphere for good. Most bloggers write one eventually. And unless its one of the rare "I'm losing computer access for several years because I lost my job/joined the peace corps/got shipped to Iraq/married into an Amish family" those posters usually come back after they get a few days rest/the commenters shower them with love and attention/someone manages to piss them off.
There's nothing inherently wrong with these posts, although they are tiresome. Personally I feel disgusted with myself whenever I start writing them, but its vital to understand that part of blogging is venting and everyone needs to vent such feelings every once in a while.
Had I told myself that several months ago, I may never have let so much updating time lapse.
In case I've misled you, this isn't one of those posts.
This is a "Why I actually stopped writing" post, and to be honest it has to do with another blogger, one who writes a number of "I might leave because no one appreciates me" posts.
I'm referring, of course, to the aptly named Occasional Superheroine.
And I just broke an unwritten rule of mine by mentioning her.
The tension between Valerie D'Orazio and I is old news. Somehow I'm reluctant to admit that she'd long annoyed me with what struck me as an empty and superficial writing style, but she was initially harmless so I kept from mentioning it. A lot of people annoy me at times, it passes. Some of the people I count as my favorite writers started off annoying me, and some of the people I used to read religiously I can now barely read for WFA links because I find their style so infuriating. It was clashing personality shit, no reason to fuss or fight. That is, no reason until Val went up against a number of the brightest writers in the blogosphere over a little known piece of shit called How to Make Money Like a Porn Star. I was irritated with what seemed to me to be an uneven reviewing standard on Val's part. I posted about this, and within a week Occasional Superheroine was erased from the Internet.
There are moments, behind closed doors and among friends I brag about this. At the time I was horrified. I hadn't wanted her to pack up and leave. I'm not sure what I'd wanted, perhaps for her to back out of the fight and admit she was wrong about at least one of the two books. I was siding with personal friends in the matter and I had pulled out my most devastating attack without really considering the end result. I was also incredibly annoyed that one of my posts now had dead links. The horror and irritation passed, though, because if there is one admirable trait about Valerie D'Orazio it's her resiliency.
She came back--while I was thankfully preoccupied with some work or personal matter--with the infamous Goodbye to Comics series.
And here's the real confession. I was deeply and astoundingly unimpressed with that series.
As I've said before, I find Val's writing style to be empty, superficial, and generally annoying. When I attempted to read "Goodbye to Comics", I found it hadn't improved. There are still a number of posts from that period I've only gotten halfway through. Life was too short and they were already linked on When Fangirls Attack.
That--in itself--is not a personal knock against the writer. No doubt people look at my blog and find me long-winded and pretentious. And I've had more than a few Grammarians reprimand my careless handling of a fragile language. I honestly don't know why some of you read through the crap I spit out.
(I know for a fact that many commenters don't read through the crap I spill onto this blog.)
But still, my delicate pride was always bolstered by the fact that people would actually read, comment, and engage me in conversation.
Some of those same people were now touting the all but unreadable "Goodbye to Comics" as a masterpiece. That was a blow to my pride.
And before long, Valerie D'Orazio--a writer I found untalented and uninteresting and only marginally feminist--was being touted as one of the best feminist writers in the blogosphere.
And I carefully, and with great difficulty read through the posts I was linking. I was unable to see what was so impressive. I strongly suspect she only gathered a fanbase because she said what disgruntled 90s fans already believed to be true about Dan Didio, and her status as a former insider lent credibility to the those beliefs.
This was all irksome for several reasons:
1) As I've already said, people who liked my writing also liked hers. That suggested an uncomfortable similarity. So my faith in my own talent was shaken by my certainly in Val's lack of talent. Either people weren't reading my posts, or I was churning out far shittier thoughts than I previously realized.
2) Over the past few years, I've linked Val alongside some of the most brilliant women I've had the good fortune to read (and, in some cases, meet). Time and time again I see Val linked rather than Cheryl Lynn Eaton, Karen Healey, Avalon's Willow, Rachel Edidin or any number of much, much smarter women than Val. I see points brought up and passed around the blogosphere for days or weeks before they pop up and Val's site, and then I see some random bozo saying they found this out at Occasional Superheroine. When WFA was at its most active, I had people drop by my comments, send me email links, and IM me with links to Val saying "Have you seen this yet" when I myself had posted on that very subject earlier that week.
3) Tying into the point above, Val is the safe feminist. One of the bloggers in my "Must Read" folder had a brilliant post somewhere (that I forgot to bookmark, and can't find now!), on how her writing was too radical to ever get her a job writing for a major venue (like Newsarama, or CBR, or writing an actual comic). Because she pointed out dangerous, uncomfortable things that made the rest of us think about our assumptions, and feel guilty about our place in the world.
See, that's what I consider good writing--brave writing. The stuff that forces the reader out of his/her comfort zone. The stuff that makes them think critically about their place in the world, even if it is ultimately to disagree with the writer. I don't consider an article of mine to be any good unless I am lying awake in my bed the night before it publishes wondering if John's going to kick me off Blog@Newsarama because I finally crossed the line this time.
(Now great writing? That's the stuff that forces the writer out of his/her comfort zone.)
Val's writing doesn't do that. She lets people feel angry at the big faceless corporation but okay about themselves. Okay about what they buy. She won't let a writer or an artist she dislikes get away with sexism.
But I've yet to see her criticize a writer she likes. I've yet to see her take her audience to new territory.
I may be being too hard on her here. People have different degrees of openness to this stuff, and I guess her people aren't ready for the intensive self-examination or the academics. Thing is, I consider myself a training feminist. I softball you guys. I write 101-level stuff, stuff that's open and accessible enough for the crowd at Newsarama. I'm not dealing with the advanced theories and experiences here. I write in simplified ideas and I don't think Val examines social issues in the depth they require.
So its irritating to see women who look at this stuff in real depth--women who really know what the fuck they are talking about--passed over for someone so superficial.
4) She stopped reading my stuff when we had a falling out. She took my links off her blogroll. Whenever that happens, and it has, I get pathetically hurt and surprised. I figure if someone is worth reading for whatever reason, you keep reading whether you personally get along with them or not. It's a personal slight.
(As a side note to this one, I've had a few run-ins with Laura Hudson over at Myriad Issues, and she still links me when I write something she finds worth reading. I appreciate that, and she has my respect for it no matter what we're at odds about.)
5) She just plain offends my sense of justice. I was raised by a conservative woman. I have some conservative values deeply ingrained in my psyche, and one of them is a belief--against all evidence--that we are living in a meritocracy. That rewards are given to who they should be given to. That good writers get acclaim. That bad writers get obscurity. That honorable people are seen as honorable and respected. That manipulative people are seen for their behavior and villified. I know this is not how reality actually works. But when I see evidence of how things are and it contrasts with my view of how things should be I feel an unmistakable sense of rage and disgust.
I'm going to state my personal opinion of Valerie D'Orazio here. I don't like her. I think she's manipulative. The infamous Beatrix Kyle letter from early WFA days? It has been attributed to her. The earliest fight involved her double-standards of review when it came to her friends. Her famous memoir was fictionalized and tailored to match prevailing public opinion perfectly. The final falling out between Occasional Superheroine and When Fangirls Attack involved her playing the victim for her White Knight commenters, casting me as the venomous Wyrm threatening a damsel in distress.
I'm blunt. I'm downright mean at times. And by god, I have a lot of venom in my heart just waiting to be poured out through my keyboard. My best writing is soaked in hatred and rage. I know all of this. But I make a genuinely Herculean effort to put that aside and be fair in my dealings. And because of that effort, and because I know I'm susceptible to being painted as a bully, it bothers me so much when someone manages to make me into the bad guy.
I can forgive a lot. I have gotten angry and forgiven a lot without mentioning it on this blog. I can't forgive being cast as the bully, not when I've made every attempt to be as kind and even-handed as fucking possible to someone. I've never forgiven Val for that. And I've never forgiven her readers for buying into that.
And--coming from a conservative mindset--I've never forgiven the Universe for allowing such behavior to go unpunished.
And the thing about those 5 points is, I'm not alone. I'm not naming names, but there have been anti-Val whispers in the between places for a while. A lot of people just plain dislike her. Feel the same way about her I do. But nobody wants to get into That Fight. (Except Chris Sims, of course. But he lives for this stuff.) And neither did I.
So I let these feelings--some of which were pre-existing but were triggered by this woman, some of which were brought on entirely by her--fester at the bottom of my heart everytime I read Occasional Superheroine. And of course--being me--I read the damned blog everyday. Because--being me--if I didn't people were going to link me. And--being me--I couldn't stand missing the potential links. I'm a completist with WFA just like I am with Green Lantern and Wonder Woman. (All those times I dropped Green Lantern? I hunted down back issues, oh yes.) It's stupid, but it's a comic book fan thing.
And once bitten, twice shy I avoided confronting her. I'm susceptible to being painted as the bully and she's managed to get me with that brush before. (She and a number of other bloggers had a little Ragnell hatefest over it when she dropped WFA from her blogroll). I'm no damsel in distress, I'm a dragon and the white knights who read Val know it. Calling her out wasn't worth the headache of dealing with them.
But the more I read Val, and the more I see her linked and referenced as a serious stop when it comes to feminist comics commentary, the more I lose faith in my own writing.
Because if that's the standard I'm meeting when I get praised, and if the truly good writers are being ignored--then what's the point? What's the point of writing?
So instead of writing or even collecting for WFA I plunge myself with wild abandon into things that are not writing. I keep rereading Captain America, and Starman because it is made of joy and goodness. And I've finally found Simonson's Thor. I'm really up to date on the Presidential Election, and I've been twittering my brains out on politics.
But I haven't written anything that I'd consider good in a while. Nothing that keeps me up at night. I've written a million earthshattering posts in my head, but when I sit down to write the words flutter away.
And I've been chatting, and reading your blogs, and talking in newsgroups. And all the time I keep wondering why no one ever says this stuff about Val.
I enjoyed watching her fight with the race bloggers, of course. But I didn't participate. And they fought on their home ground They didn't go to her place of power. They didn't say anything to her they couldn't say to me. No one pointed out during those fights was that her area of supposed expertise--white women's issues--was not any place where she was strong either. She was just repeating smarter women in a softer safer tone. She was pandering to disgruntled DC fans. She wasn't even a good writer to begin with! She was a privileged white woman writing about something she knew nothing about there, nothing different from the other privileged white female bloggers in the community--except that there are much better bloggers than her making less mistakes when covering race.
And maybe it's racism on my part that I was waiting on a member of the white female blogosphere to call out Val rather than counting the utter lack of legitimacy she has among FOCs as calling her out.
Either way--even with the idiocy on race issues--she still gets cited by people in the industry. She still gets to write Tyrone in Cloak and Dagger (which I'm sure will be a horror to behold).
Then came Val's most recent open letter demanding the love and attention of her commenters. She thinks she's a serious writer. She really thinks she's a serious writer. And to that end, she's denigrating people who are inherently fun writers, joyful writers. And she's denigrating the serious bloggers who are willing to be fun and joyful.
And I suspect she's taking potshots at Melissa again.
And it was seeing Sally be the one to stop and call her on it that really pushed me over the edge. I adore Sally, but she's not the one you expect to call out someone like Val. She's not supposed to be the one who tells off people like Val.
And then it occurs to me, maybe I'm supposed to be the one who tells off people like Val.
Maybe I'm supposed the Villainess here. Maybe I'm the Big Bad Wolf. The Dragon of the Blogosphere who torches the White Knights. I'm the one who's supposed to look at someone like "Goodbye to Comics" and exclaim "Buy your Empress some damned clothes!!"
Why the hell am I waiting for David and Pedro and Willow to pounce on her where she's weak when I've got her where she lives? Why do I have this idiotic policy that Val's off limits whenever she says something stupid? Why am I not pointing out when she's being a fucking idiot?
Maybe it's not the widespread legitimacy she has that drives me crazy, but rather my own silence on the matter. Maybe her being mentioned in Comic Foundry would bother me less if I'd said publicly that I thought she was vapid and useless beforehand.
Maybe there's a reason I'm me, a reason I'm mean, and I'm just not able to write when I hold it in. Maybe holding it in just makes things so much worse. Maybe I should just embrace my inner bully and go ahead and be the bad guy every now and then. You all might hate me for it, but I'll be more comfortable.
We all have our parts to play. If Val's the damsel, and Sims is the jester, then I'm the dragon. I'll be better off facing it.
Now, I can't promise this realization means I'll be writing more often. (Or that any of my feminists readers will read me after I called Val an idiot.) Maybe I'm wrong and the block came from something else.
This is just a confession, a post I'm writing to get my thoughts together and get all this misery off my chest so I can look forward to the week with a clear head. And maybe--just maybe--it will help me shake this bout of writer's block.
I've no doubt that if you look at the history of this blog and deep enough you'll find more than one letter implying that I'm tired of writing and think I might leave the blogosphere for good. Most bloggers write one eventually. And unless its one of the rare "I'm losing computer access for several years because I lost my job/joined the peace corps/got shipped to Iraq/married into an Amish family" those posters usually come back after they get a few days rest/the commenters shower them with love and attention/someone manages to piss them off.
There's nothing inherently wrong with these posts, although they are tiresome. Personally I feel disgusted with myself whenever I start writing them, but its vital to understand that part of blogging is venting and everyone needs to vent such feelings every once in a while.
Had I told myself that several months ago, I may never have let so much updating time lapse.
In case I've misled you, this isn't one of those posts.
This is a "Why I actually stopped writing" post, and to be honest it has to do with another blogger, one who writes a number of "I might leave because no one appreciates me" posts.
I'm referring, of course, to the aptly named Occasional Superheroine.
And I just broke an unwritten rule of mine by mentioning her.
The tension between Valerie D'Orazio and I is old news. Somehow I'm reluctant to admit that she'd long annoyed me with what struck me as an empty and superficial writing style, but she was initially harmless so I kept from mentioning it. A lot of people annoy me at times, it passes. Some of the people I count as my favorite writers started off annoying me, and some of the people I used to read religiously I can now barely read for WFA links because I find their style so infuriating. It was clashing personality shit, no reason to fuss or fight. That is, no reason until Val went up against a number of the brightest writers in the blogosphere over a little known piece of shit called How to Make Money Like a Porn Star. I was irritated with what seemed to me to be an uneven reviewing standard on Val's part. I posted about this, and within a week Occasional Superheroine was erased from the Internet.
There are moments, behind closed doors and among friends I brag about this. At the time I was horrified. I hadn't wanted her to pack up and leave. I'm not sure what I'd wanted, perhaps for her to back out of the fight and admit she was wrong about at least one of the two books. I was siding with personal friends in the matter and I had pulled out my most devastating attack without really considering the end result. I was also incredibly annoyed that one of my posts now had dead links. The horror and irritation passed, though, because if there is one admirable trait about Valerie D'Orazio it's her resiliency.
She came back--while I was thankfully preoccupied with some work or personal matter--with the infamous Goodbye to Comics series.
And here's the real confession. I was deeply and astoundingly unimpressed with that series.
As I've said before, I find Val's writing style to be empty, superficial, and generally annoying. When I attempted to read "Goodbye to Comics", I found it hadn't improved. There are still a number of posts from that period I've only gotten halfway through. Life was too short and they were already linked on When Fangirls Attack.
That--in itself--is not a personal knock against the writer. No doubt people look at my blog and find me long-winded and pretentious. And I've had more than a few Grammarians reprimand my careless handling of a fragile language. I honestly don't know why some of you read through the crap I spit out.
(I know for a fact that many commenters don't read through the crap I spill onto this blog.)
But still, my delicate pride was always bolstered by the fact that people would actually read, comment, and engage me in conversation.
Some of those same people were now touting the all but unreadable "Goodbye to Comics" as a masterpiece. That was a blow to my pride.
And before long, Valerie D'Orazio--a writer I found untalented and uninteresting and only marginally feminist--was being touted as one of the best feminist writers in the blogosphere.
And I carefully, and with great difficulty read through the posts I was linking. I was unable to see what was so impressive. I strongly suspect she only gathered a fanbase because she said what disgruntled 90s fans already believed to be true about Dan Didio, and her status as a former insider lent credibility to the those beliefs.
This was all irksome for several reasons:
1) As I've already said, people who liked my writing also liked hers. That suggested an uncomfortable similarity. So my faith in my own talent was shaken by my certainly in Val's lack of talent. Either people weren't reading my posts, or I was churning out far shittier thoughts than I previously realized.
2) Over the past few years, I've linked Val alongside some of the most brilliant women I've had the good fortune to read (and, in some cases, meet). Time and time again I see Val linked rather than Cheryl Lynn Eaton, Karen Healey, Avalon's Willow, Rachel Edidin or any number of much, much smarter women than Val. I see points brought up and passed around the blogosphere for days or weeks before they pop up and Val's site, and then I see some random bozo saying they found this out at Occasional Superheroine. When WFA was at its most active, I had people drop by my comments, send me email links, and IM me with links to Val saying "Have you seen this yet" when I myself had posted on that very subject earlier that week.
3) Tying into the point above, Val is the safe feminist. One of the bloggers in my "Must Read" folder had a brilliant post somewhere (that I forgot to bookmark, and can't find now!), on how her writing was too radical to ever get her a job writing for a major venue (like Newsarama, or CBR, or writing an actual comic). Because she pointed out dangerous, uncomfortable things that made the rest of us think about our assumptions, and feel guilty about our place in the world.
See, that's what I consider good writing--brave writing. The stuff that forces the reader out of his/her comfort zone. The stuff that makes them think critically about their place in the world, even if it is ultimately to disagree with the writer. I don't consider an article of mine to be any good unless I am lying awake in my bed the night before it publishes wondering if John's going to kick me off Blog@Newsarama because I finally crossed the line this time.
(Now great writing? That's the stuff that forces the writer out of his/her comfort zone.)
Val's writing doesn't do that. She lets people feel angry at the big faceless corporation but okay about themselves. Okay about what they buy. She won't let a writer or an artist she dislikes get away with sexism.
But I've yet to see her criticize a writer she likes. I've yet to see her take her audience to new territory.
I may be being too hard on her here. People have different degrees of openness to this stuff, and I guess her people aren't ready for the intensive self-examination or the academics. Thing is, I consider myself a training feminist. I softball you guys. I write 101-level stuff, stuff that's open and accessible enough for the crowd at Newsarama. I'm not dealing with the advanced theories and experiences here. I write in simplified ideas and I don't think Val examines social issues in the depth they require.
So its irritating to see women who look at this stuff in real depth--women who really know what the fuck they are talking about--passed over for someone so superficial.
4) She stopped reading my stuff when we had a falling out. She took my links off her blogroll. Whenever that happens, and it has, I get pathetically hurt and surprised. I figure if someone is worth reading for whatever reason, you keep reading whether you personally get along with them or not. It's a personal slight.
(As a side note to this one, I've had a few run-ins with Laura Hudson over at Myriad Issues, and she still links me when I write something she finds worth reading. I appreciate that, and she has my respect for it no matter what we're at odds about.)
5) She just plain offends my sense of justice. I was raised by a conservative woman. I have some conservative values deeply ingrained in my psyche, and one of them is a belief--against all evidence--that we are living in a meritocracy. That rewards are given to who they should be given to. That good writers get acclaim. That bad writers get obscurity. That honorable people are seen as honorable and respected. That manipulative people are seen for their behavior and villified. I know this is not how reality actually works. But when I see evidence of how things are and it contrasts with my view of how things should be I feel an unmistakable sense of rage and disgust.
I'm going to state my personal opinion of Valerie D'Orazio here. I don't like her. I think she's manipulative. The infamous Beatrix Kyle letter from early WFA days? It has been attributed to her. The earliest fight involved her double-standards of review when it came to her friends. Her famous memoir was fictionalized and tailored to match prevailing public opinion perfectly. The final falling out between Occasional Superheroine and When Fangirls Attack involved her playing the victim for her White Knight commenters, casting me as the venomous Wyrm threatening a damsel in distress.
I'm blunt. I'm downright mean at times. And by god, I have a lot of venom in my heart just waiting to be poured out through my keyboard. My best writing is soaked in hatred and rage. I know all of this. But I make a genuinely Herculean effort to put that aside and be fair in my dealings. And because of that effort, and because I know I'm susceptible to being painted as a bully, it bothers me so much when someone manages to make me into the bad guy.
I can forgive a lot. I have gotten angry and forgiven a lot without mentioning it on this blog. I can't forgive being cast as the bully, not when I've made every attempt to be as kind and even-handed as fucking possible to someone. I've never forgiven Val for that. And I've never forgiven her readers for buying into that.
And--coming from a conservative mindset--I've never forgiven the Universe for allowing such behavior to go unpunished.
And the thing about those 5 points is, I'm not alone. I'm not naming names, but there have been anti-Val whispers in the between places for a while. A lot of people just plain dislike her. Feel the same way about her I do. But nobody wants to get into That Fight. (Except Chris Sims, of course. But he lives for this stuff.) And neither did I.
So I let these feelings--some of which were pre-existing but were triggered by this woman, some of which were brought on entirely by her--fester at the bottom of my heart everytime I read Occasional Superheroine. And of course--being me--I read the damned blog everyday. Because--being me--if I didn't people were going to link me. And--being me--I couldn't stand missing the potential links. I'm a completist with WFA just like I am with Green Lantern and Wonder Woman. (All those times I dropped Green Lantern? I hunted down back issues, oh yes.) It's stupid, but it's a comic book fan thing.
And once bitten, twice shy I avoided confronting her. I'm susceptible to being painted as the bully and she's managed to get me with that brush before. (She and a number of other bloggers had a little Ragnell hatefest over it when she dropped WFA from her blogroll). I'm no damsel in distress, I'm a dragon and the white knights who read Val know it. Calling her out wasn't worth the headache of dealing with them.
But the more I read Val, and the more I see her linked and referenced as a serious stop when it comes to feminist comics commentary, the more I lose faith in my own writing.
Because if that's the standard I'm meeting when I get praised, and if the truly good writers are being ignored--then what's the point? What's the point of writing?
So instead of writing or even collecting for WFA I plunge myself with wild abandon into things that are not writing. I keep rereading Captain America, and Starman because it is made of joy and goodness. And I've finally found Simonson's Thor. I'm really up to date on the Presidential Election, and I've been twittering my brains out on politics.
But I haven't written anything that I'd consider good in a while. Nothing that keeps me up at night. I've written a million earthshattering posts in my head, but when I sit down to write the words flutter away.
And I've been chatting, and reading your blogs, and talking in newsgroups. And all the time I keep wondering why no one ever says this stuff about Val.
I enjoyed watching her fight with the race bloggers, of course. But I didn't participate. And they fought on their home ground They didn't go to her place of power. They didn't say anything to her they couldn't say to me. No one pointed out during those fights was that her area of supposed expertise--white women's issues--was not any place where she was strong either. She was just repeating smarter women in a softer safer tone. She was pandering to disgruntled DC fans. She wasn't even a good writer to begin with! She was a privileged white woman writing about something she knew nothing about there, nothing different from the other privileged white female bloggers in the community--except that there are much better bloggers than her making less mistakes when covering race.
And maybe it's racism on my part that I was waiting on a member of the white female blogosphere to call out Val rather than counting the utter lack of legitimacy she has among FOCs as calling her out.
Either way--even with the idiocy on race issues--she still gets cited by people in the industry. She still gets to write Tyrone in Cloak and Dagger (which I'm sure will be a horror to behold).
Then came Val's most recent open letter demanding the love and attention of her commenters. She thinks she's a serious writer. She really thinks she's a serious writer. And to that end, she's denigrating people who are inherently fun writers, joyful writers. And she's denigrating the serious bloggers who are willing to be fun and joyful.
And I suspect she's taking potshots at Melissa again.
And it was seeing Sally be the one to stop and call her on it that really pushed me over the edge. I adore Sally, but she's not the one you expect to call out someone like Val. She's not supposed to be the one who tells off people like Val.
And then it occurs to me, maybe I'm supposed to be the one who tells off people like Val.
Maybe I'm supposed the Villainess here. Maybe I'm the Big Bad Wolf. The Dragon of the Blogosphere who torches the White Knights. I'm the one who's supposed to look at someone like "Goodbye to Comics" and exclaim "Buy your Empress some damned clothes!!"
Why the hell am I waiting for David and Pedro and Willow to pounce on her where she's weak when I've got her where she lives? Why do I have this idiotic policy that Val's off limits whenever she says something stupid? Why am I not pointing out when she's being a fucking idiot?
Maybe it's not the widespread legitimacy she has that drives me crazy, but rather my own silence on the matter. Maybe her being mentioned in Comic Foundry would bother me less if I'd said publicly that I thought she was vapid and useless beforehand.
Maybe there's a reason I'm me, a reason I'm mean, and I'm just not able to write when I hold it in. Maybe holding it in just makes things so much worse. Maybe I should just embrace my inner bully and go ahead and be the bad guy every now and then. You all might hate me for it, but I'll be more comfortable.
We all have our parts to play. If Val's the damsel, and Sims is the jester, then I'm the dragon. I'll be better off facing it.
Now, I can't promise this realization means I'll be writing more often. (Or that any of my feminists readers will read me after I called Val an idiot.) Maybe I'm wrong and the block came from something else.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
I would read this comic.
From Chris Sims' Twitter:
Project Merle Thunder is the project to give Merle Haggard sole possession of Mjolnir. We'll see who gets on his fightin' side NOW
Saturday, September 20, 2008
My Day
Before I begin this anecdote I have two requests.
1) I'd like for my father to stop reading for long enough to set up a webcam. I want him to record his reaction to this post for me.
2) I want the first person (and that includes you, Dad) to make a woman driver joke to be on the next flight to Europe so that I can personally beat him/her over the head repeatedly with a German cuckoo clock.
Why the special requests? Because today I learned to drive a car with a manual transmission.
It started with my leaving my cellphone at work. Being that my cellphone is my major way of anyone getting ahold of me, I needed to get it. Unfortunately, I only noticed it was missing from my purse on Saturday morning when most of the people I know in this country are hung over. Also, I was tired of scamming, begging and bumming rides from eveyrone at work. The lack of transportation was getting to me, and it even went so far as to make getting regular transportation even more difficult to obtain. The problem was compounded by my antisocial nature. I wanted to see some of Germany--Hel, I just wanted to see a movie--but not if it meant I had to talk to people.
So I got out my little book, borrowed a neighbors telephone and called the rental place. I'd have a week of independance if nothing else. They set me up that afternoon with some temporary transportation, that could get me to work, to the store, to the movie theater, and most importantly, to the used car lot. The day would have all worked out perfectly but for one slight problem. That being the manual transmission. But I was prepared for that, sort of.
I'd read about it on the internet.
And I got a... briefing from the car rental guy.
Nevertheless, when I got into the car and tested it out, I found I couldn't move in reverse to get out of the parking spot. I did everything as I'd been told, I didn't panic when the car started moving when I released the clutch. I shifted the gearshift towards the R, but it wouldn't go backwards. So I glanced around the partking lot, and accosted some random guy as he was exiting his car.
"Hey, you drive manual?"
"Yeah."
"Umm.. help?"
He nodded and came over, said he knew exactly the problem. "European gearshift. You have to shove it all the way over until it clicks, then up."
I did so. The car still stubbornly insisted on moving forward. This wouldn't have been a problem, if not for the other car parked in front of it. The car I was getting just a bit closer to each time I tried to move. So I had the random stranger sit in the car and try it himself.
(Dad, you had better be filming your reaction to this story.)
And what do you know, it wasn't my fault. He couldn't get it go backwards either. We had no choice but to go forward past the other car (we had enough room between the bumpers to slip a few pieces of paper by) and sure enough, as soon as we cleared the other car and switched drivers again the damned reverse started working.
No, I didn't back into anything. But I swear, I put it in the exact same position each fucking time.
Still, I was doing fairly well. Within a half hour, I got it moving around the parking lot smoothly--after stalling a few dozen times in the first 20 minutes--and felt comfortable enough to go to the street to get to work and look for my phone. The street was an uphill street. And of course, the damnable thing stalled at the top. And of course, the next car--an ugly boxy yellow thing--pulls right up behind me.
So here I am, still adjusting to the clutch and the slight rocking backwards because the parking lot didn't have enough hills to get used to that, and a line forms. The woman in the yellow car behind me couldn't back up due to the black car that was right behind her, and I couldn't get any further up the hill. She was fortunately very amused by the situation. She and her entire line of cars eventually passed me. Then another line formed, this one smart enough to back away.
After providing a total of 20 minutes entertainment to the base population, a pedestrian stopped to help me figure out the right combination of accelerator and clutch motion (he advised thinking of it as a teetertotter). I didn't have another problem until work, where I discovered that my phone was not left at the office.
But don't worry, I think I know where it is.
I focused on my next errand, because by heaven's frosty gate I was going to get something accomplished this day. The building for the next errand happened to be up a large hill. But I wasn't worried, I'd discovered the secret to hills. I wasn't quite sure about the speed limit, but I'd discovered the secret to hills.
Well, I thought I had. I was still getting used to the clutch, though, so I stalled when I got up the hill and tried to turn into the parking lot. So I restarted the engine, and stalled again. I got a bit frustrated with it, particularly the car's desire to slip backwards on the hill as I tried to get it to start forward. Took maybe ten minutes to park because of that. But after that I ran smoothly around base, from the store to the other store, to the first store when the other store told me they didn't have what I wanted. I obtained some potentially valuable advice about diesel engines at the last stop. Sure, I overshot the movie time, I'm afraid. But I remembered the way home.
The shine on remembering the way home was dulled when I stalled twice on the way home. Both times entering traffic circles, which just sucks because there is someone moving in a little circle in front of you and invariably there is someone behind you. That just makes recovering from the stall worse because there's suddenly this sense of urgency.
To top off the day, I stalled entering my freaking driveway, because guess who lives on the side of an uphill road! (And some jackass blasted his horn at me, which is illegal withing city limits, and startled me into releasing the clutch too soon as stalling a second time while I was trying to recovering from the first stall!)
But all in all it was a fairly productive day. I'm now confident I can get to work and back (though I'm not touching the autobahn yet, I don't care what stupid souvenirs people want from other parts of Germany), and I've expanded my options for permanent transportation. (There aren't many automatics for sale where I'm at, so this is a big thing.) For this I'd like to thank my AWOL cellphone, my three impromptu teachers, the road-gods of Germany, and the cops who pointed and laughed as I banged my head against the steering wheel in frustration.
(And Dad? Upload the video to Youtube, so I can watch it at my leisure.)
1) I'd like for my father to stop reading for long enough to set up a webcam. I want him to record his reaction to this post for me.
2) I want the first person (and that includes you, Dad) to make a woman driver joke to be on the next flight to Europe so that I can personally beat him/her over the head repeatedly with a German cuckoo clock.
Why the special requests? Because today I learned to drive a car with a manual transmission.
It started with my leaving my cellphone at work. Being that my cellphone is my major way of anyone getting ahold of me, I needed to get it. Unfortunately, I only noticed it was missing from my purse on Saturday morning when most of the people I know in this country are hung over. Also, I was tired of scamming, begging and bumming rides from eveyrone at work. The lack of transportation was getting to me, and it even went so far as to make getting regular transportation even more difficult to obtain. The problem was compounded by my antisocial nature. I wanted to see some of Germany--Hel, I just wanted to see a movie--but not if it meant I had to talk to people.
So I got out my little book, borrowed a neighbors telephone and called the rental place. I'd have a week of independance if nothing else. They set me up that afternoon with some temporary transportation, that could get me to work, to the store, to the movie theater, and most importantly, to the used car lot. The day would have all worked out perfectly but for one slight problem. That being the manual transmission. But I was prepared for that, sort of.
I'd read about it on the internet.
And I got a... briefing from the car rental guy.
Nevertheless, when I got into the car and tested it out, I found I couldn't move in reverse to get out of the parking spot. I did everything as I'd been told, I didn't panic when the car started moving when I released the clutch. I shifted the gearshift towards the R, but it wouldn't go backwards. So I glanced around the partking lot, and accosted some random guy as he was exiting his car.
"Hey, you drive manual?"
"Yeah."
"Umm.. help?"
He nodded and came over, said he knew exactly the problem. "European gearshift. You have to shove it all the way over until it clicks, then up."
I did so. The car still stubbornly insisted on moving forward. This wouldn't have been a problem, if not for the other car parked in front of it. The car I was getting just a bit closer to each time I tried to move. So I had the random stranger sit in the car and try it himself.
(Dad, you had better be filming your reaction to this story.)
And what do you know, it wasn't my fault. He couldn't get it go backwards either. We had no choice but to go forward past the other car (we had enough room between the bumpers to slip a few pieces of paper by) and sure enough, as soon as we cleared the other car and switched drivers again the damned reverse started working.
No, I didn't back into anything. But I swear, I put it in the exact same position each fucking time.
Still, I was doing fairly well. Within a half hour, I got it moving around the parking lot smoothly--after stalling a few dozen times in the first 20 minutes--and felt comfortable enough to go to the street to get to work and look for my phone. The street was an uphill street. And of course, the damnable thing stalled at the top. And of course, the next car--an ugly boxy yellow thing--pulls right up behind me.
So here I am, still adjusting to the clutch and the slight rocking backwards because the parking lot didn't have enough hills to get used to that, and a line forms. The woman in the yellow car behind me couldn't back up due to the black car that was right behind her, and I couldn't get any further up the hill. She was fortunately very amused by the situation. She and her entire line of cars eventually passed me. Then another line formed, this one smart enough to back away.
After providing a total of 20 minutes entertainment to the base population, a pedestrian stopped to help me figure out the right combination of accelerator and clutch motion (he advised thinking of it as a teetertotter). I didn't have another problem until work, where I discovered that my phone was not left at the office.
But don't worry, I think I know where it is.
I focused on my next errand, because by heaven's frosty gate I was going to get something accomplished this day. The building for the next errand happened to be up a large hill. But I wasn't worried, I'd discovered the secret to hills. I wasn't quite sure about the speed limit, but I'd discovered the secret to hills.
Well, I thought I had. I was still getting used to the clutch, though, so I stalled when I got up the hill and tried to turn into the parking lot. So I restarted the engine, and stalled again. I got a bit frustrated with it, particularly the car's desire to slip backwards on the hill as I tried to get it to start forward. Took maybe ten minutes to park because of that. But after that I ran smoothly around base, from the store to the other store, to the first store when the other store told me they didn't have what I wanted. I obtained some potentially valuable advice about diesel engines at the last stop. Sure, I overshot the movie time, I'm afraid. But I remembered the way home.
The shine on remembering the way home was dulled when I stalled twice on the way home. Both times entering traffic circles, which just sucks because there is someone moving in a little circle in front of you and invariably there is someone behind you. That just makes recovering from the stall worse because there's suddenly this sense of urgency.
To top off the day, I stalled entering my freaking driveway, because guess who lives on the side of an uphill road! (And some jackass blasted his horn at me, which is illegal withing city limits, and startled me into releasing the clutch too soon as stalling a second time while I was trying to recovering from the first stall!)
But all in all it was a fairly productive day. I'm now confident I can get to work and back (though I'm not touching the autobahn yet, I don't care what stupid souvenirs people want from other parts of Germany), and I've expanded my options for permanent transportation. (There aren't many automatics for sale where I'm at, so this is a big thing.) For this I'd like to thank my AWOL cellphone, my three impromptu teachers, the road-gods of Germany, and the cops who pointed and laughed as I banged my head against the steering wheel in frustration.
(And Dad? Upload the video to Youtube, so I can watch it at my leisure.)
Tales from the Chatroom
Kalinara's been reading back issues of Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos today, and has treated me to a running commentary on the plot.
This includes her opinion on Nick's love interest Pamela.
An excerpt:
This includes her opinion on Nick's love interest Pamela.
An excerpt:
Kalinara (12:16:06 AM) : Oh no, he's buying her a ring
Kalinara (12:16:09 AM) : She's going to die.
Kalinara (12:16:10 AM) : ...
Kalinara (12:16:12 AM) : YAY
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Webfighting falls under this blog, doesn't it?
I've been a bit quiet due to finally finding a permanent residence, then waiting on Internet access, then losing internet access for a weekend. Yeah, I'm out in the sticks here. (I did manage to finish a few good books like the last couple Hellboy trades, Small Favor and Livewires -- Good god, why did no one tell me how awesome Livewires was?)
Anyway, during the brief period I had net access last week I wrote a column. Now that I have it again, I went to check the column and found I was being called out by one Mark "My Underwear is Two Sizes Too Tight and That's What's Up My Ass" Engblom, who feels a feminist should be unquestioningly supportive of any female candidate:
"She's a conservative woman," Mom said proudly. (Mom is a conservative woman.)
"Oh, then I definitely won't vote for him. I liked Clinton because she was a liberal woman--well, an acceptably centrist woman. I'm not going to vote for just anyone because their running mate has the same parts as me." And for a few moments, I was happy, because it meant that I wouldn't vote for someone just because she was a woman. I felt rather satisfied with my enlightened viewpoint. And Mom, who I don't give enough credit in political discussions, was smart enough to understand that.
Then I researched Sarah Palin and started to get pissed off at her views, but this isn't really the blog for complaining about that. This is the blog for culture shock chronicles, comic books, and laughing at idiots in the online superhero fan community.
Anyway, during the brief period I had net access last week I wrote a column. Now that I have it again, I went to check the column and found I was being called out by one Mark "My Underwear is Two Sizes Too Tight and That's What's Up My Ass" Engblom, who feels a feminist should be unquestioningly supportive of any female candidate:
Simply this: Lisa’s blog-life revolves around the advancement of women…but now that one’s knocking on the door to the vice presidency…well, I guess that’s not the RIGHT kind of woman for Lisa and the rest of the snarling lefty feminists out there who can’t stand the fact that a conservative women might just beat the “acceptable” feminists to that role. The Palin nomination has cause quite a few masks to fall, one of them being the hypocrisy of so-called feminists who are now rallying to stifle and push down a fellow woman on the verge of making history, yet doesn’t fit their narrow ideological spectrum.Now, I consider Engblom's assumption that feminists should support a markedly antifeminist candidate just because she's a woman to be sexist so I came up with a long response. Then I decided against posting it on the actual thread of a post, because it's too damned long,Blog@Newsarama's comments were fucking up and it will just encourage the idiot to keep arguing with me in a place that is not my webspace. I prefer to fight in my own backyard, at my leisure. So I'm giving it to you guys and if Engblom wants to come over and run his mouth in my territory rather than Matt Brady's he can:
Actually, I'd consider it a feminist act to vote against a female candidate who stands against your beliefs, just as it is a feminist act to vote for a female candidate who stands for your beliefs. It breaks down one of the fundamental constraints on women in our society, mainly that we are all considered a single demographic.It all reminds of my mother excitedly telling me that McCain had chosen a female running mate. I grinned, and laughed and informed her this wouldn't get me to vote for McCain unless it was someone really awesome.
Here's an example: I just had a mild disagreement with a coworker who was kind enough to drive me to the store. I promised him it would be quick because I had a list. He laughed and said that no female could stick to a shopping list.
I raised my eyebrow, and--almost forgetting he was doing a nice thing for me--told him he was wrong.
"Look," he said, "I have a sister and a wife--"
"And I have 7 items on my list, and that's all I'm walking out of this store with."
I walked out of that store with 7 items. All on my list, no more, no less. He may think it's just because we argued or he may think I'm simply an oddity but the simple fact of the matter is he was wrong to make an assumption about all women based on just the two he knew. It simply wouldn't have been feminist to let the attitude go unchallenged.
See, one of the points of feminism is making the culture learn that woman are not interchangeable. This goes from the shitty characterization of and the comparison of any and all notable women to Wonder Woman, to the idea that I'm going to shop in the same way my coworker's sister, to the idea that Hillary Clinton's voters are going to be attracted by the addition of Sarah Palin to the ticket.
Sarah Palin is not Hillary Clinton. Sarah Palin never will be Hillary Clinton. The two are the opposite on just about every issue that matters. In fact, I have to say I respect Sarah Palin for not pretending that she is Hillary Clinton.
But anyone who voted for Hillary Clinton would be an idiot to vote for Sarah Palin, just as anyone who wants to vote for Sarah Palin would be an idiot to vote for Hillary Clinton.
Because these women are different.
Because--and say it with me--women are not all the same.
And that's one of the points of feminism, getting rid of these stereotypes. Destroying these assumptions. Making it so women can be judged on their own merits rather than assumptions made about their gender.
And this is what we're doing, judging Clinton and Palin on their merits, not their gender. Which means some people is going to love Palin and hate Clinton, while others going to love Clinton and hate Palin.
That's the way it would be with male candidates. That's the way it should be with female candidates.
This is not bitterness. This is not jealousy. This is taking what's best for you and the country into careful consideration before you pull the lever. This is listening to what the candidate says about the issues that affect rather than looking at their race/gender/religion and seeing how it matches to yours and assuming that their policies will benefit you somehow. This is taking your civic responsibility seriously. This is taking your rights seriously.
This is called thinking, Engblom. You might want to try it sometime.
"She's a conservative woman," Mom said proudly. (Mom is a conservative woman.)
"Oh, then I definitely won't vote for him. I liked Clinton because she was a liberal woman--well, an acceptably centrist woman. I'm not going to vote for just anyone because their running mate has the same parts as me." And for a few moments, I was happy, because it meant that I wouldn't vote for someone just because she was a woman. I felt rather satisfied with my enlightened viewpoint. And Mom, who I don't give enough credit in political discussions, was smart enough to understand that.
Then I researched Sarah Palin and started to get pissed off at her views, but this isn't really the blog for complaining about that. This is the blog for culture shock chronicles, comic books, and laughing at idiots in the online superhero fan community.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
The Ormes Society needs a leader.
Cheryl Lynn Eaton: Ah, I see that it is time to flex my muscles and get my Doctor Doom on! Unfortunately, Cheryl Lynn Eaton will be abdicating her positions in both the Ormes Society and Torchbearers to pursue goals unrelated to the field of comics. She has had an absolute blast meeting all sorts of wonderful creative people during her time in both communities as well as the larger comics community and will cherish the friendships she has fostered. Interested in taking the reins at Ormes or Torchbearers? Please contact Cheryl Lynn via e-mail!
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Monday, September 01, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
August 29th
It's the little things that bring on the biggest culture shock sometimes. Like the windows over here. They are awesome and can be configured to be open at the top or opened by the side. They just seem neat until you see there are no screens, which is weird.
And the toilets. Rather than a latch there's a little paddle built into the wall or the back of the toilet that you press on. The toilet in the hotel flushes by way of pressing a little oval right above the seat. (It's perfectly situated to reach back and hit with your elbow while sitting on the toilet, so I suspect it was designed by a woman.) Still, it's just this odd little difference between here and the US.
And then there's the train station newstand. We took the train into Trier to see the Porta Nigra today, and the train station newstand had comic books. Not Archie comics mind you, but All-Star Superman and X-Men issues and Captain America trades. And the one in the Market Square had an entire rack of Manga, like you'd see at a bookstore.
Now, maybe I've just been unlucky but when was the last time you saw comics at a train station or airport newstand in US?
And the toilets. Rather than a latch there's a little paddle built into the wall or the back of the toilet that you press on. The toilet in the hotel flushes by way of pressing a little oval right above the seat. (It's perfectly situated to reach back and hit with your elbow while sitting on the toilet, so I suspect it was designed by a woman.) Still, it's just this odd little difference between here and the US.
And then there's the train station newstand. We took the train into Trier to see the Porta Nigra today, and the train station newstand had comic books. Not Archie comics mind you, but All-Star Superman and X-Men issues and Captain America trades. And the one in the Market Square had an entire rack of Manga, like you'd see at a bookstore.
Now, maybe I've just been unlucky but when was the last time you saw comics at a train station or airport newstand in US?
Thursday, August 28, 2008
This is going to take some adjustment.
It's been about a week since my last update, so let me fill you in on the move. Germany looks remarkably like Lackawanna County in Pennsylvania. There are a lot of trees and gentle mountains and the little living areas are very spaced out. Lots of farmland and wilderness too. My coworker told me this area is known as the "Black Forest." Yes, of Frau Totenkinder fame. I like the climate, it's cold and rainy. Haven't dealt with too many Germans yet--potential landladies excluded--but I can see my work's cut out with me in the new office with all the other transplanted Americans.
I am the only woman in the shop, which isn't too surprising. Depressingly few women go for my career field, I'm only accidentally in it myself. I'm actually one of four women in the building, which is a tad bit disconcerting. That my shop hasn't had a female technician assigned to it for almost three years prior to my arrival is downright infuriating. Something needs to be done about the lack of women in technical career fields.
In the meantime, a shop that is very set in its ways tries to adjust to mixed company. The ground rules about profanity have been laid, but two incidents display the difficulty that still exists here. Last week I found myself without anything to do and so I tried to sort a particularly annoying pile of junk. The boss was quickly disturbed by this and insisted that disorder and chaos were the proper way of the world. For my part I fell into the stereotypical role of the only woman in a small group and continued to arrange things as I saw fit. The rest of the shop was very amused, and started taking bets on what week I'd lose my sanity.
Today in the office they were rearranging the notices and bulletin boards on the wall to accommodate a very large whiteboard. The men were asking each other if it might fit the spot on the wall they'd cleared for it. Now, everyone in this shop carries personal tools attached to their belt depending on what they need the most so this was a perfectly logical thought on my part. I asked if any of them were carrying a tape measure so that we could see before they lifted the heavy thing up.
My boss turned to me and said--and don't get me wrong here, he said it with good humor--"We're GUYS!" because to him maleness implies a lack of logic, organizational skill and good sense. Personally, I think they're using sexism as a excuse not to do their jobs correctly. This was a problem in my last office, but getting put in charge of the shift let me teach some of them not to give in to antimasculine stereotypes and just do the fucking job. I don't have that luxury here, it's the boss who needs the training.
On top of that, they insulted my technical abilities. The rest of the shop joked that I'd be telling them to read the directions next. How on earth did they get the idea that using the proper tool to make their job easier was on the same level as consulting the idiot manual?
That aside, I do like the people there. Very relaxed and full of joking, like a good maintenance shop should be.
And I may have found a place to live. It has a balcony, a landlady who can't pronounce my name, and the option of DSL so the comics community won't be rid of me just because I'm in German Appalachia now.
I am the only woman in the shop, which isn't too surprising. Depressingly few women go for my career field, I'm only accidentally in it myself. I'm actually one of four women in the building, which is a tad bit disconcerting. That my shop hasn't had a female technician assigned to it for almost three years prior to my arrival is downright infuriating. Something needs to be done about the lack of women in technical career fields.
In the meantime, a shop that is very set in its ways tries to adjust to mixed company. The ground rules about profanity have been laid, but two incidents display the difficulty that still exists here. Last week I found myself without anything to do and so I tried to sort a particularly annoying pile of junk. The boss was quickly disturbed by this and insisted that disorder and chaos were the proper way of the world. For my part I fell into the stereotypical role of the only woman in a small group and continued to arrange things as I saw fit. The rest of the shop was very amused, and started taking bets on what week I'd lose my sanity.
Today in the office they were rearranging the notices and bulletin boards on the wall to accommodate a very large whiteboard. The men were asking each other if it might fit the spot on the wall they'd cleared for it. Now, everyone in this shop carries personal tools attached to their belt depending on what they need the most so this was a perfectly logical thought on my part. I asked if any of them were carrying a tape measure so that we could see before they lifted the heavy thing up.
My boss turned to me and said--and don't get me wrong here, he said it with good humor--"We're GUYS!" because to him maleness implies a lack of logic, organizational skill and good sense. Personally, I think they're using sexism as a excuse not to do their jobs correctly. This was a problem in my last office, but getting put in charge of the shift let me teach some of them not to give in to antimasculine stereotypes and just do the fucking job. I don't have that luxury here, it's the boss who needs the training.
On top of that, they insulted my technical abilities. The rest of the shop joked that I'd be telling them to read the directions next. How on earth did they get the idea that using the proper tool to make their job easier was on the same level as consulting the idiot manual?
That aside, I do like the people there. Very relaxed and full of joking, like a good maintenance shop should be.
And I may have found a place to live. It has a balcony, a landlady who can't pronounce my name, and the option of DSL so the comics community won't be rid of me just because I'm in German Appalachia now.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
August 24th, 2008
I have to confess to having written off Girl-wonder.org since they got their mascot back a few months ago. I'd had hopes for Project Girl Wonder as a test run to see how much influence they could gain over the Powers That Be but rather than move on from their victory to other projects most Spoiler-advocates seemed to take the resurrection as a malicious way to circumvent giving them exactly what they wanted (it was a way of avoiding giving them exactly what they wanted, but I don't believe it was malicious). Rather than realize the pull they had they took it as Dan Didio laughing at them and collectively sulked.
As a Green Lantern fan who watched them lobby for ten years to get a major character morally cleared I was actually pretty disgusted with the organization. As I saw it this was a major victory and they were going to squander it because it wasn't precisely what they wanted! They didn't realize how vicious an enemy Perfect was when it came to Good. I think if I hadn't had real life issues to distract myself with I'd have lost my temper and alienated the whole lot.
But rather than take the wind from the organization's sails as it initially appeared, the move by DC has managed to give them a chance to refocus their efforts on more substantial projects.
And no, that's not a swing at Steph-fans. I understand the point of Project Girl Wonder, but it was a quest for an entirely symbolic gesture. You have to admit that despite working in graphic literature and being buried in symbolism from it's customers to its CEOs the comics industry doesn't seem to understand the abstract very well. That's most likely why DC went and one-upped the request. They probably figured it would make these fans happy without giving them exact creative control (because giving masses of fans exact creative control would be disastrous in this industry). Concrete efforts are what get you the respect.
But Friday, when we were all bickering and whining over John's call to action, the Board at Girl-wonder.org were acting and building a resource for anyone who wants to make their local convention as well as SDCC safer.
And today they've unveiled a map for locating female-friendly comic book stores, which for me personally may prove to be an invaluable resource if its kept current. (I imagine some shops are going to gain and lose status a few times, but when you move to a new area or even have lived in an area for a while with little luck it really helps to have a place to start.)
I can't say I ever got behind the initial project, as I'm not much of a Batman fan and I despised the Spoiler character to begin with. I mostly hoped they'd use it as a jumping off point for bigger and better things, which they have. That makes me enormously happy, and I may even break down and buy a tee-shirt.
But I urge everyone to look at, use, and add to these resources as they can. Keep them strong because whatever you may think of the initial Project Girl Wonder and symbolic efforts, these are concrete resources that have enormous potential to do good in the industry.
Anyway, that's my attempt at an apology. Sorry for doubting you, Girl Wonders, I was wrong.
As a Green Lantern fan who watched them lobby for ten years to get a major character morally cleared I was actually pretty disgusted with the organization. As I saw it this was a major victory and they were going to squander it because it wasn't precisely what they wanted! They didn't realize how vicious an enemy Perfect was when it came to Good. I think if I hadn't had real life issues to distract myself with I'd have lost my temper and alienated the whole lot.
But rather than take the wind from the organization's sails as it initially appeared, the move by DC has managed to give them a chance to refocus their efforts on more substantial projects.
And no, that's not a swing at Steph-fans. I understand the point of Project Girl Wonder, but it was a quest for an entirely symbolic gesture. You have to admit that despite working in graphic literature and being buried in symbolism from it's customers to its CEOs the comics industry doesn't seem to understand the abstract very well. That's most likely why DC went and one-upped the request. They probably figured it would make these fans happy without giving them exact creative control (because giving masses of fans exact creative control would be disastrous in this industry). Concrete efforts are what get you the respect.
But Friday, when we were all bickering and whining over John's call to action, the Board at Girl-wonder.org were acting and building a resource for anyone who wants to make their local convention as well as SDCC safer.
And today they've unveiled a map for locating female-friendly comic book stores, which for me personally may prove to be an invaluable resource if its kept current. (I imagine some shops are going to gain and lose status a few times, but when you move to a new area or even have lived in an area for a while with little luck it really helps to have a place to start.)
I can't say I ever got behind the initial project, as I'm not much of a Batman fan and I despised the Spoiler character to begin with. I mostly hoped they'd use it as a jumping off point for bigger and better things, which they have. That makes me enormously happy, and I may even break down and buy a tee-shirt.
But I urge everyone to look at, use, and add to these resources as they can. Keep them strong because whatever you may think of the initial Project Girl Wonder and symbolic efforts, these are concrete resources that have enormous potential to do good in the industry.
Anyway, that's my attempt at an apology. Sorry for doubting you, Girl Wonders, I was wrong.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
It wasn't even one of my funnier statements.
To distract myself from having to wait on the latest issue of Captain America (if you spoil this before my comics package arrives in the mail, I'll make you pay) I chose to spend my sparse spare time this evening being a dick in Kalinara's comment section.
I know, I know, but I had to say something. It started out as a good idea but I couldn't wrap it up properly. It was a weak insult, so was I surprised when I managed to get an entire country of Germany insulted as a response.
I know, I know, but I had to say something. It started out as a good idea but I couldn't wrap it up properly. It was a weak insult, so was I surprised when I managed to get an entire country of Germany insulted as a response.
Have fun in Germany. Considering the foul and hateful-minded person you are, you ought to fit right in with the cournty that helped to spawn a certain other well-known loud-mouthed and hateful jerk.Ahh, the sweet smell of Godwin in the morning. It smells like a fool who doesn't have a point left to argue.
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