Trying to find strength from the Lord!!

I was able to go to this conference and this is the talk that I related to the most!! She is amazing and I just felt she had touched all the buttons in my heart. I went to this in May and today I am still struggling with this!! I feel I am always on the verge of tears and struggling to pull things together!! I am trying so hard to find the innerstrength and I know I have many resources to pull from but I feel like I am always coming up short!!
This summer has been so fun with Tucker, not being on any schedule, there was very little stress. Starting school again has created a great deal of stress!! Yesterday was his birthday and we have been very busy this week but we had a birthday party on Friday to celebrate it and he had a blast!! It was fun and I will post those later. But today again he was in tears before he left for school. I want so badly to give him the confidence he needs or to say all the right things to help him, my heart is aching!! I think he is doing ok with school and he has a lot of friends that are sweet to him but there is only so much he can do with them. He is not happy with where he is. I know he wants so badly to be doing all the things his friends are doing and I want so badly to give it to him!!
I feel like I tend to hold back with my own friendships and connections because I feel like they don't understand or our lives are so different that I can't even explain it one more time!! I so got this with Emily and just want to find that strength and help from the Lord!
If anyone has ideas on how I can help Tucker find inner peace about who he is and his purpose here I could sure use it!! I just want him to realize how amazing he is and how he is such a gift from the Lord and is perfect the way he is!! OH what a blessing that would be!! Could use any advice if you have any!!!!

First Day of School!!

Yesterday was a very busy day for us!! Tucker is in fourth grade and has Mrs. Burket for his teacher. He is staying at Rose Springs Elementary for now. It is a great school but the class sizes are ridiculous!! There are 29 kids in his class which is good, he has had 32 before! But I am getting tired of him not getting the attention he needs. He is a quieter kid and needs more one on one time. I have debated on even taking him out and home schooling him. I just can't even imagine what that would be like but in some ways thought it would be kind of fun to have that kind of time with him. BUT at the same time I think he needs school and to learn what life is all about and experience school and friends and yes even hard days. Makes them appreciate, learn and grow. We have been back and forth about what to do. This year there has been a Charter School open up and I registered Tucker and Austin hoping they would get in. They promised smaller class sizes and better education and the kids will be in uniforms. Sounded great to me!!

Well Austin was accepted but Tucker wasn't because his age and classes were already full. He is now #1 on the list for fourth grade, if there is a slot that opens up he moves in. I am excited but he is not.

I am not sure what to do about that! He is in a class with his friends and likes the school and they have been really good to help us with his needs besides a few small things. So I don't know if I should leave him there or if he gets accepted to move him where his brother is. It is interesting having them at different schools and there definitely is a contrast between the two!!

I can tell this Charter School is going to be really good, just right now they are working out all their kinks. I think in another year it will be a great school and a great opportunity for them!!

So everyone I need your opinions on what you would do.

Meanwhile, Bryson is STUCK at home and boy do I mean stuck he feels very gipped. He wanted to go somewhere it didn't matter where. Everyone else was leaving the house and he wanted to also! He kept asking "where's my Austin?" Those two have played so well together this last year that he is going to have a hard time!

I had a hard time dropping Austin off!! I walked him into the building and reached for his hand as he always does and he said no mom other kids don't hold their moms hands I am a big kid now. :( Talk about wrench the heart!! Then I walk him to the class and he is doesn't even look back to say good bye or anything!! Can you believe that??? Yes he is a big boy but doesn't he still need me?? :)

Tucker did a great job also, he has really grown up so much these last few months!! He was bugged with me doing his hair and he wanted to do everything himself. I felt so bad we took longer to get him ready yesterday that about 15 minutes after he left I realized that he didn't get breakfast how sad is that?? Man did I feel like a terrible mother!!

Not a good day for mom!!

Luckily after school everyone got in the car happy and said they had a great day at school!! I am glad they both had such a great day!! Austin said he made a new friend Tyson. He didn't know one single person in his class. I was a little worried because all his friends were going to the public school, but he is pretty social!

I have to tell you this morning he was in his room playing legos and Bryson came in and started to play and Austin said "you can't play with me right now I need Quality Time" I was listening and went in and asked him what that meant and he said it means it is time for you to do what you want by yourself. I asked him where he learned this and he said "The Charter School." Well at least he is learning something right??

What is with BOYS, MEN and Trucks??

Ok so I have to tell you how we all ended up going to the Monster Truck show. My husband was listening to the radio early one morning on his way home from work. KBUll is our favorite station and they were having listeners call in and tell about your clunker. Well at this moment Mike is driving our little red 95 neon to work. It is a good old car!! But the speedometer sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. (Most of the time doesn't) In order for it to start you have to lift it's hood and hit the computer and then she starts right up. Well the recent one is or so Mike has been telling me is that the roof is starting to sag and so he drives with his head tilted. Mike called in with this story and they thought it was funny and gave him tickets to the Monster Truck Show at the new Rio Tinto stadium.

My boys were so excited to go and LOVED every minute of it! We have seen the Monster Tuck Show before but they were younger and Tucker was really the only one excited. This time ALL of them boys and Man was excited!! I felt like there was a lot of testosterone in the air!!

As we were going to this event I was feeling a little sorry for myself wishing I had another girl to do things with. I told Mike then that because I have experienced this manly thing over and over and over again that it was time for them to humor me and we should go for a girls night out and get our toes done or nails or something. He didn't find this very funny and told me we would be attending enough piano recitals to make up for them. WHATEVER!! :) (Austin is now taking piano.)

All in all it was a fun night and Tucker was able to invite his friend Nathan to come and they had fun. That is what is important!! Bryson's two favorite Trucks were there (Grave Digger and The Turtle) so that was almost too much excitement for him!!

On a better note for me Friday night Mike got a babysitter and we went to the Temple with our ward and stayed there talking for quite awhile about things in our lives and what we needed to work on more and went to dinner at the Ruby River it was nice and relaxing without the kids!! I am going to be doing that more often!! I feel like we have forgotten so many things with having children you tend to put them first and our relationship for sure has taken a back seat!! Sad I know, but we have realized how much we need to spend more time ALONE together!! Half way through the day I received these beautiful flowers at the door from Mike.

He is the greatest guy and I feel so blessed to be married to him!! We have had a great weekend, I wish this summer wasn't coming to an end!! Not excited for school to start!! I really am going to miss them not being home as much!! I have had a fun summer with them this year!! Here are some more of our summer pics.

I hope you all had a great summer and are ready for school!!!

Undecennial

I cannot explain to you in words what this man has meant to me!

I cannot describe how many times he has rescued me!

I cannot explain the joy I feel when he walks through that door from work!

I cannot describe what an amazing husband

and father he has been!!

I cannot explain to you how many times we have completed each others thoughts or sentences!

I cannot describe how much I love to spend a day with him!

I cannot explain how grateful I am for him!!

I cannot describe how deep my love for him is!!

Letters and Words Fail Me!!

One thing's for sure celebrating 11yrs with him is the best decision I have ever made!

Mike you have blessed my life and given me so much, I am honored to be your wife! You are my strength and security when I need it, you are my joy and happiness even though I don't always express it! You are the one I LOVE!!!

I will never forget the day I married you, it was a beautiful day and my heart was full, I loved you then and love you more today!!!! Happy Anniversary!! Here is to another 11 plus years with you!! I LOVE YOU!!

Here's the pictures I promised.

Ok so I have been so busy and I am just now getting these pictures of Colleen up. Here are some of my favorite pictures of her that I took. Isn't she BEAUTIFUL!!??
I am definitely NOT a pro. But I sure love to take them!! I hope to take some classes some day and get better at it!! She is such a sweet sister and has been through so much, I pray for her happiness as she starts her new life with Ben!! I love you sis!! Here's the pictures I promised you!!