Seriously don't know what's wrong with me recently.

Cos the mind can't control how the heart feels.

Everything is in a mess now.

Should I just let everything go.
it less than 9 days to the actual productions... do i feel screwed or what

come back voice. what happened to you. :< really hope that i can hit the notes eventually. and loosen up your body boy. why am i so stifffff.

that feeling when you are already trying your best, but people still thinks otherwise.

"if it's meant for you, you won't have to beg for it. you will never have to sacrifice your dignity for your destiny"

How apt.

Sometimes I really wonder if I'm overthinking or not. Sometimes I'm getting really sick of this, one day i might just turn crazy. Sighs. Why must you do this to me :/



i've never acted in my entire life.

it's pretty ironic that the first ever role im taking up is so similar to my actual self and whatever that is happening to me. perhaps what is currently happening in reality is more exciting.

i still can't get over the fact that a friend has betrayed me like this. it's an absolute disgrace. just frightening.

just be in my shoes, can you even understand the anguish i feel?

every single thing he does now just irks and pisses me off so much.

i just hope i'm remain the 'good' guy here.

You know I love you, you know I do, But I can't fight anymore for you





time is passing way too fast.

i'm already 22? and half of sem2 is almost over?

gosh

I think everything is pretty okay so far, academics wise..

but i'm just deeply upset and disappointed over what something which I just found out

it's not that i didn't see it coming. but when i reaffirm and confirm the case.

i just felt so disgusted and disappointed.

how can someone do this kind of shit to a friend?

so drama.

i can't even.


what's with this dayre thing.

yours truly started blogging since sec1 and still going stronk.

anyway yes i'm back!

I think i did okay for sem1... sem2 so far...has been pretty tricky i guess. with the weekly quizzes and the super high weightage mid terms...doesn't really help.

have been feeling so lost and insecure lately.

insecure about my own capabilities.

am i even good enough for this?

am i even good enough as a friend?

am i even good enough to be in this place?

sometimes i just feel so awkward.

and it feels like im going down the same path again. but i'm alot more pessimistic now, carrying lesser hopes and expectations. not sure if this is helping, but i've been feeling so unstable recently. kinda depressing.

so tempted to pick up the lighter again.

sighs.

no it don't breakeven
holidays have been pretty flat. to be honest, it wasn't as fun as I thought it would be. ohwells. but i'm thankful for friends that have accompanied me thus far. results were out yesterday, i guess I did average? can definitely be better though. and i should strive to achieve that.

okay back to the main reason why this blog is even alive - for me to rant and vent my relationship failures (lol)

i guess im really a sucker for love.

and to my bros, love is not a game.

i don't know if i should hate or thank them for my predicament now. at least now i know what she feels. but actually that was what i expected long ago. knowing it sooner is better for me, but it still hurts as fuck.

why does the same shit always happen to me. i really thought it would be different this time. But now it just feels like i'm experiencing the same vicious cycle all over again. The knife points on the exact same spot on my heart, on the verge of piercing through all the broken wounds yet again.

it hurts so much knowing that after all i've done, it is still so one-sided. is it me? my face? my body? my actions? what's wrong? why don't i fucking change.

i'm not desperate for a relationship, i just want a soulmate, a partner whom i can rely on and vice versa. is it really that difficult?

i don't know if i stand a chance anymore. i don't know if i should wait again and see how time plays and manipulates with my feelings or just move on with life, and take another long time to get over this.

end of the year never felt so sick before.



it's 2.56am and i can't seem to fall asleep for some weird reason. I've been flipping around my bed for 2 hours and i just can't sleep. it's so frustrating because I have a paper tomorrow (okay fine its at 5pm) and I should be resting more since I am sick. ohwells

finals have so far been a bitch. it's just weird to be sitting in an exam room again for 2 hours, after not doing so for the last 2/3 years. that's just part and parcel of life for all guys i guess.

i won't say the papers are hard so far, its just that we just don't have enough time to complete the papers. short answer questions end up being essay questions, so i wrote like 8 essays in total for my 201 paper?? insane. felt like some workout.

same for 204. but i think i spent too much time stoning and thinking of my article and what to answer. and to think that i actually manage to spot one of the questions. how amazing. but no, i forgot 2 of the 7 sins of sales writing zzz.

i don't like how competitive school is like now.

people are just overdoing their projects, spoiling markets. well that's reality for you, ky.

oh and i'm pretty disappointed that my design wasn't shortlisted for the sg50 thingy. after looking at their top20, i really thought at least one of my two designs deserve a spot instead.

most of my friends ended/ending their finals already. here i am, barely halfway through.

where got time.