RaChEw

feeling all the fustrations in me.
jus cant describe how im feeling now.
this sucks.

this always happen..
when im at hersing, i give them most of my time.
and now when i left, i miss them tuckloads.
but life gotta move on.

im sorry for neglecting the rest.
i still love all of u.
but recently im in the super nua mood.
even if im damn free, i dont take the initiative to ask u out...
sorry =(

let me get my thoughts sorted out first yeah?

posted by RaChEw @ Wednesday, February 15, 2012 0 Comments

its about 13.5 months since i came here to rant..
i've always wanted to come back here.
but what i'm lack of is the courage.

took nearly an hr jus to recover my password.
in this 13.5mths many things happened.
life wasnt as smooth sailing as how it should.

i thank god for those good frens who stood by me.
and bye to those people who took me for granted.
but for now, all i need is to get an answer for all the prayers ive always been asking for.
or rather i need you to show me the path.

im sorry for the rants..
but well i guess its alright?
cos after mia-ing for 13.5mths, i guess nobody is back here reading my rants..

posted by RaChEw @ Monday, February 13, 2012 0 Comments

my mind is in a mess..
a great mess...
when all the suspecious thoughts came to the next level, things went out of hand.
and the truth finally surfaced affter 4 months..
seriously if i were him, i would have commit sucided..
i wouldnt be as strong as how he hung on til date.
with all the constant pressures from every single one of us..

im glad john was there to help.
he took alot of initiative to organise the meetings.
we din wan trouble.. we jus wanted to gather everyone to see how we could help him..
but we definitely need thr truth..
and on thus night, the truth was finally out..
i couldnt remain my cool..
and of cos i gave him a trashin at amk mac..

yes i was angry..
i was angry how come he kept the truth from us for so damn long..
but thinkin back, it took him alot of courage..
tears and disappointed faces all surfaced..
but im glad he is doing smt to salvage the situation..

old man was there too..
in fact he was there on both days when i was about to break down.
tue night when i was really down, i went over to his new place and told him i didnt paid my fees..
wed night he came over to amk for dinner but had to wait for 2 hrs for me cos we were havin the meeting..
told him everything and seeked for solutions..
sigh....

sometimes i really wished i didnt drag darling ls and cousin into this situation..
really disappointed but i really hope he will be strong.
after all these are settled, im sure our friendship will go to the next level..
hang on.. all of us will hang on tight tgt as one!

when ss offered to help, i really donno wat to say..
i told him all the reasons as to why i didnt wan him to help..
sigh....... where are you????????

posted by RaChEw @ Sunday, December 05, 2010 0 Comments

and i really hate it when u drink so much!
freakin hate it!
cant u jus take good care of ur liver n health a little more?
fuck u!

posted by RaChEw @ Saturday, November 06, 2010 0 Comments

been quite some time since i last blogged...
many many things going on..
workin now as an account assistant and i kinda like my job..
maybe cos there were alrd quite a no of familiar faces when i first joined.
initially work was boring..
but now i guess its so much better?

my virgin trip to MBS casino on 30 oct!
loving it man!! went with old man..
hahahhaa thanks for the treat man!!!
was definitely one of the best weekend i had!
he even gave me a souvenir which i love it!
somehow i felt it was so damn long! hahahhaaa
used his money to gamble and we were there til 4am..
reached home ard 4pm..

shower and went to meet darling qing, cassie and gay!!
dinner and caught up!
was dead tired when i reached home cos i didnt sleep well the night before..
unfamiliar bed plus i woke up at 10am in the morning..
it was sufficient to kill me..

halfday on mon n off i went to custom to meet py, ls, ben, daniel, samuel, don n derrick to jb!
had the world best seafood!
so much nicer than the one i used to have with boss n shirley!
next time i'll bring u guys to try tt!
went for movie and it was the worst show ever.
all of us dosed off!
reached hm ard 4am and i was dead tired man!!!

tue work as usual..
regretted tt i din cancel my off..
hahaha went to work like a zombie and lucky my doc appt was postponed.
aunt sent me home n when i reached hm, old man texted me asked me if i wanted dinner..
jus nice i see the food i don like and so i said i don wan to travel..
asked him to come yishun instead.
whahahahhahaa

but i was so damn tired i went home to slp ard 11...
and now its ph again!
this week felt so short!
tml meeting rebakah and sun to chloe's hse for mj!

posted by RaChEw @ Friday, November 05, 2010 0 Comments

exams are finally over!
waiting for auntie lilien to be back from eruope and then get me a job!
so many thing have been happening..
cousin goin crazy again..
uncle been hospitalised..
indian's stuff not settled yet..
irritating toad gave ly big prob in the middle of the night.
and today u jus had to piss me off.
thanks ah.

i cant be bothered and i've got no feelings.
jus felt pek chek.
and i swear im gonna ignore u for life!
thanks ah. thanks for spoiling my day.
thanks for always misunderstanding me.
and i truely hated it.

posted by RaChEw @ Thursday, October 14, 2010 0 Comments

amk intensive for the last 2 weeks and the coming last week with darling ls.
hate the night shift managers there!
they jus deserve to be shot in the head.

for a moment i was proud of myself for the achievement..
esp sis.. her sms really brought me satisfaction.
at least i had no regrets..
jus regreted having alot of debts and trusting people too easily.
boss jokingly said i finally followed his footsteps.

hahaha but when sis asked me y i still check out on her when i shouldn't, i began searching for the answer but to no avail.
mayb its jus cos for the past 7yrs i treated her as a family, a sister..
like how i treat my darling sister amanda!
she told me i should jus totally stop and ignore.
but well.. at least im doing baby steps?

i hate it after a long day of studies and when i reach home people ask about her.
but i don blame them, cos they donno wat happened.
after this long 7 years, i learnt not to trust people too easily.
even ur closest fren!
at least im glad i didnt tell her somethings which i always wanted.

i hope everything will be fine.
serious..
argh....
else i'll be so dead.

anw im thinking of giving up alrd my dear.....
im sorry but i think i should go back to my old life..
i don like my mind over words actions for these few months.
so no backbone!
im sorry my dearest!

and let me end my post with this quote extracted from tumblr....

posted by RaChEw @ Sunday, October 03, 2010 0 Comments

ss returned my call when i jus reached yishun.
hahaha else i might jus go and collect my stuffs from him..
wtf i almost laughed throughout the whole conversation.
and he made me dream of havin a really close fren passing away!
WTF!!! it was part of our convo cos he said when we die then we'll know how nice he is actually treating me. LOL
WTH!!! whahahhahaaaa

anw i need motivation!!!
can someone jus grant me some?! HAHA
i realised i cant study when im home.
i absorbe more when i meet darling ls to study!
hahaha i cant wait for steamboat lor..
miss those days where we had alot of jokes and laughters! hahahaa

anw had a convo with sis today..
damn pissed off with her (of cos not sis)...
well, she blamed me for brainwashin everyone to leave.
but since she thinks tt way and i believe she told the whole world tt, i cant be bothered to explain and argue back with her..
n like wat we expected, she don even dare to meet us to clarify..
cos by then the truth will be out.

saying is cos of A's case tt's y i left.
sayin i pushed all responsibility.
but it was her who told me to let her handle.
not to answer anyone's call..
i have all the evidence in my phone.
even if my phone was changed, i still have it cos its all backed up in my com n lappy.

telling people what kinda person i am.
saying i talk bad abt her.
well, if she really treated us like human and appreciate us as frens, she would also still make the effort to salvage the situation.
like wat py told me, im only worth $500 in her eyes.
i was so blinded. always thinkin she treated me sincerly as a best fren but well.. i guess im wrong..
i did not even brainwash anyone..
sis finally felt the way of how u treated her..
if u were sincere or not.. and so she knew..

trina n yy.. i told them not to leave.
but it was u who forced them by asking someone to GS and not explainin wat is it all abt.
where it was announced eric was fightin for his rd tt month.
we all knew u would shift..
anw sayin all these r redundent..
i thank god we all knew the truth.. the true colors.

my mouth might be bad and smelly.
but most of the times i only said things out of anger.
and when i said this is it. my heart is dead.
everyone told me i will go back being friends with u..
but well, i guess its pointless..
since u r so blinded by love..
like wat we all feel.. whatever we do, no matter how nice we treat u, u still do things cos of jackson.

u treated us damn nice when we were still active.
cos we were there helpin him to generate an income.
u might say its bullshit..
but like someone always tell us.. how come we r so stupid to help him with his lotus monthly?
it was wat this someone told me for many many months that finally woke me up..
slowly i heard more people telling me that..
and i finally understood.

anw this post was a random one.
jus felt damn pissed after the conversation with sister.
if u think im so good at bringin people away, thn i would have succeed long time ago cos im such a good influencer.
hahaha... but well.. u r wrong..
thats y god gave human 2 eyes. some even 4!
to let them see clearly of every friend they made!
and also 2 ears for them to listen carefully to ur words where u pushed all responsibility to sister!

FUCK! im god damn pissed!
but well, i should be looking forward!!
meeting dearest sister, jason and daughter tml evening!!
glendon couldnt join cos he finishes work at 7!!
and there's always heavy jam at sixth ave!!
missing u guys including andrew and trina!!!

posted by RaChEw @ Wednesday, September 29, 2010 0 Comments

"You were never supposed to mean this much to me; I was never supposed to fall so hard. But you know what? I did and that's the truth, that's what keeps me holding on because it hurts like hell to let you go."

posted by RaChEw @ Monday, September 27, 2010 0 Comments

ITS AN IMPROMPTU LONG POST!

sometimes i wonder how u became so strong..
it really surprised me alot..
tho we donno each other in person, i've heard so much about u from so many people..
5 years is neither too long nor too short..
and i see u taking it so well tho in ur blog u has emo posts, it was like 1/10?
damn admire u man my dearest gurl! =)
i believe u deserve someone so much better!
really...... he is not worth for a single drop of ur tear anymore...
for there r things which u donno but i know....
cos i still have my sources...
i wish u all the best and may u become stronger as days goes by! =)

i saw the picture of a rabbit on a random fb acc..
reminds me so much of my bling bling rabbit which i left at small gas ghost's hse...
haven got a chance to get it back..
how saddening..
and sometimes i wonder......
if i should jus leave it there n jus leave forever.........
sometimes like wat a fren told me, it seems like god send u a msg..
and u will appear again...

and im really pissed off...
really.... sometimes i really wonder how come u changed completely...
to become so superficial...
really... sometimes it jus hurts to know u've lost someone so close to u..
but well... sometimes in life we jus gotta learn how to let go...
and im really glad i found many close ones..
of cos i trust my dearest sister the most and we really share alot of stuffs..

mayb its because we have somehow some similar mentality in mind..
or mayb goals? for we love travelling and we can almost chat about anything..
even the darkest secret... whom i tot i will never say it out..
surprisingly i don feel as painful as how i usually do when i heard wat she said...
mayb its b'cos i've recovered..
i wouldnt say fully recovered but mayb 70%?

im not in need of many frens...
i jus need those whom are close to my heart with me will do..
they are the ones whom went through thick and thin with me..
and they are as follows... not accordingly...
sry if i missed out any... =(

posted by RaChEw @ Wednesday, September 22, 2010 0 Comments

WTF.
THANKS ah.
i hate such attitude.
tho there was a lol, i bet when u received my text u will know im pissed.
i think i had enough of you.
fucking hell.

posted by RaChEw @ Tuesday, September 21, 2010 0 Comments

had a nice chat with sister once again..
and now i uds the situation..
well, i uds how come she sudd exploded cos she waited for god damn long..
and nobody seems to be doing anything when he said he will help her.
but he doesnt seems to be replyin her quite often..

like wat i said..
god gave us 2 eyes so we can see one clearly..
people may talk and backstab us at the back, but one day they will see their true colors.
and by then things wont be nice.
i need not say, need not do much things..
cos people can see and feel for themselves if one is sincere and if im like what u said a bitch.

but well, seeing the pics on fb i do miss those days..
sometimes wondering if u r doing fine..
but i am jus wondering...
not asking people cos i think its better for both of us to go separate ways.
like wat i told sister, now we jus wanna clear all debts and free ourselves from sg!

old man i need to rant sooooooo much to u!!
cos other than sister, u r the only one who know everything!
i bet u forgotten about ur promise after 22 aug...
irritating!!!!!

posted by RaChEw @ Friday, September 17, 2010 0 Comments

taken with my iphone.. not with professional's cam.. hahaa
solemnization dinner at La ViVa spanish restaurant of my good fren bettina!!
she looked so pretty that night itself and i guessed everything went smoothly?
hahahaa was so great to catch up with all!!
cos after since dearest tummy went to shanghai and italy for studies, the 4 of us can rarely meet up..
this time was also with son..
planned to go cartel one day soon or mayb change another location..
cartel is boring! hahahaa
cant wait to see the pictures! =)

exams comin and im still feeling so slack.
always tell myself its time to study but i always lack the dumb motivation!
screw it! haaaaaa
instead, i've been watchin shows man!
love it!!! haslinda la!!!! gave me the link and i kept watching!! WHAHHAHAHAA

anw when i woke up today, i saw twitter..
donno wats wrong with her.
donno if someone offended her and wondering if she provoked my sister!
cos unless she is REALLY pissed, she wouldnt have said such things on twitter.
but i can help but to agree to this particular sentence "its one thing to earn all the money in the world n another thing to lose ur soul bcos of it"

yes, we all need money.
but i guess at least we r doing smt decent.
and im sure u people reading this post will be laughing at us cos we chose to work.
but well, this is life i guess..
and i love people around me for they appreciate who am i.
at least i dont have to wear a mask when speaking to them unlike last time.

however, i feel like i've drifted apart from ....
kinda sad but there's nothing i can do..
she's been busy working and i hope she's doing fine..
cos she has to clear her debts too..
kinda pity she is always busy working and so she cant join any of our gathering..
missing those days whereby she used to hang out with us quite often..
but my dear girl, if one day u needed any help, look for me okay?
i'll still be here, the mummy for u =)

posted by RaChEw @ Friday, September 17, 2010 0 Comments

i jus happened to see this from the link ls gave me.
so so so many meaningful quotes there!
btw i think many of of frens, relatives and myself need this..
i hope through all these obstacles, we'll all grow stronger!
we all have one another for support yeah?
love u guys!!

to those who donno whom im referring to, are mostly those i've been meetin for the past month.
those with rls prob, family prob or mayb even friendship prob..
jia you darlings!

and once again sister amanda made me feel so nice!
ha! we were on the phone from boon lay til office.
each took turns to call each other using hp cos we were out.
just got so much to update each other!
and i cant wait to meet her for dinner.
tho we work in the same co, we seldom see each other cos i work on my non sch days but shes usually out meetin clients.

so so so much updates, gossips and happiness!
ahaha! =)
but its such a pity i couldnt join them for the dive trip next month due to exams..
else i will definitely go..
but installment? ha.. i doubt so..
so many bills to clear..
so sick of it!!!

gotta slp soon!
jus reached home..
went supper with ls n indian..
to have some discussions and catch up!
hopefully all will be fine!
and i pray u will heal.....

posted by RaChEw @ Wednesday, September 08, 2010 0 Comments

haha! darling ls never fail to twit meaningful things on twitter.
always love to quote her cos its so damn true!
"its better to have nobody than to have someone who is half there, or doesnt want to be there"
cant help but to agree!! hahahaa

proj suck
school suck
work suck
life suck

nothing seems to be smooth.
down on luck.
and im thinkin of leaving..
i don like how it is like now.

posted by RaChEw @ Saturday, September 04, 2010 0 Comments

i wan to blog.
but i donno wat to blog.
omfg.
hate such things!!!!
i have this unexplainable emotions in me!
feel like screaming!
so pek chek!

posted by RaChEw @ Thursday, September 02, 2010 0 Comments

i remembered old man sayin u will be more free after 20 aug..
but seems like you were free only on mon cos u were on mc.

posted by RaChEw @ Friday, August 27, 2010 0 Comments

argh. fuck it.
i wonder who is the traitor!
actually saw it in the afternoon but wasnt so pissed.
had the cant b bothered feeling.
but when i jus finished my proj atd 1.30am, i felt damn pissed.
ss was asleep and so was sister cos she texted me til halfway nv reply..
so think she's asleep since it was so late alrd.
and sudd tot of boss.
text him n he wasnt asleep..
so called him n rant for a while..
ahahaha thanks for all the lame things u said!
LOL
jiayou for ur proj submission too!

i would say ppl have eyes to see..
heart to feel.
the way u sms them, most were skeptical.
but replied u since u didnt give any trouble.
all jus waitin to see smt.

i left office ppl out of myself other than those who left tgt with me.
but somehow ppl contacted me themselves one by one..
telling me more things.
and how they felt..
n was shock to know ppl whom i din expect to leave, left.
i don usually reply ppl from office.
unless is ppl whom i think can trust.
anw fuck it.

i tot i wouldnt be affected by u.
but y am i still affected?
mayb 7yrs was a really long one.
and u were one special close fren of mine, a sister.
whom i was so much closer to as compared to my family.

however money spoils everything.
this was the main reason i told u i wanted to decline u..
but u assured nth will happen..
and yet such things happen..
sigh.. expected..
money is still the root of evil.
we are jus slaves of money.

of cos i was disappointed to have found out abt the lies.
and now im wondering who's the traitor who told u.
of cos im suspicious of 2 ppl.
but well.. like wat boss told me, its normal n fair to get said by u too.
so i shouldnt bother..

small gas ghost!
i need to tok to u!!!!
why are u always so busy! =(
don come lookin for me unless u wan/need smt!!!
i will hate u for life!!!!

posted by RaChEw @ Friday, August 27, 2010 0 Comments

wow.. so amazing i attend 8.30 lesson!
hahahhaa but of cos i was late!
hahahaa
anw recently quite down on luck.
need some luck cos somethings is jus not within my control.
and sometime it suck to be the middle person..
cos i donno how to make both sides happy..
sigh..

mon went to sch for proj and skipped lesson cos i needed to remove stitches..
on my way to mt e, ss called and asked if i wanted his cpu.
cos he is gettin a new one so might as well pass me his current one cos its still quite new.
so surprised tt he din work hahaha and got to know he was on mc.. LOL
and removing of stitches only took like 5 mins!
so damn fast and im super amazed again.
hahhaa tot it will be slightly painful with some blood..

went to simlim to meet him..
but when i reached, he's done..
cab back to his place n he was fixing it while i was watchin my hk drama..
LOL and one of the parts was spoilt..
went back to sim lim to exchange n back to his place to install his com.
total i watched 2 hk and 1 jap show.
hero.. so many movies in a day! hahaaa
home sweet home ard 2.30am..
and i conclude my day as 5mins day cos everything was like 5min 5min. LOL

tue and wed was work..
nth much tho.. ahhahaa

oh as i was blogging, NEA ppl came to my hse to check..
my blk got 2 ppl have dengue fever
omg.. scary!
hope my neighbours are all well!
and i jus felt like sayin...
sister and the rest! when are we all meeting?!
tml for the fair? HAHAA

and i hate it when i decided to take a step back, u will take a step forward.
and then once again im wavering..
hate it real much!
maybe i should put a fullstop!

posted by RaChEw @ Thursday, August 26, 2010 0 Comments

KNN!!!! i jus realised u really love lying..
after being in that trade for near 2 yrs, u lie without blinkin ur eyes.
omfg! im so fucking disgusted by you!
how could u ever say that of him?!
u were the one at fault and not him!
i jus feel so pek chek when u blame him when he's the super nice guy!
argh fuck u man!

going to school in awhile..
have not been sleepin well recently..
today was weird..
had both good and bad dreams..
good dreams i was quite happy but not sure if it was also a dream in my dream cos i dream tt how nice if some people whom i wan to be there be there tooo..
LOL

posted by RaChEw @ Friday, August 20, 2010 0 Comments

didnt have a good night sleep..
somethings happened and im so worried now..
hopefully everything will be fine..
and im so gonna get screwed by them., argh...

i guess it must be after much talkin with kent last night, she and tt bastard came into my dream once again.
this time scenario was weird.
this time i was being very sarcastic and she was being very nice.
mayb jus up for another show luh..
but i was very sarcastic to tt bastard.
i jus wished he was dead. LOL
anw somethings which boss said was true..
and i finally see it in his point of view. hahaa

anw my smlj sis is getting engage on sept!!
happy for u darling!!!
i tot u were playin a prank on me lor...
hahahahaaa
and est, i hope u r doing fine =))

posted by RaChEw @ Thursday, August 19, 2010 0 Comments

finally after 3 days of rest, decided to head out of house..
cos was so damn bored..
sis dropped me a text n was passing by yishun so met her for awhile..
she had her dinner while we caught up..
its always so nice to chat with her.. hahahaaa

then to bishan to meet ly..
she treated me to koi..
hehe thanks darling!!
when i got more money i will not forget about u. hahaa

when i was abt to go home i decided to call kent the boss!
been so damn long since i last seen him!
everytime when i go to bishan, he will come to my mind cos we use to meet up so often last yr!
hahahaaa and so since he was slacking, he came out to meet me for a short catch up!
he went to mac to have his supper and he told me he finally put on 3kg!
congrats boss! hahahaa

finally get to speak to him..
talk about quite a few things and watever he said was quite true la.
im glad he's 99% recovered hahahaa!!
and gossip about him! LOL!!!
boss if u r reading must update me hor!!
u know wat i mean!
hahahaa din stay quite late..
spoke to him for abt 2hrs n i went home cos wanted to catch the last train n he has sch tml..
hopefully we can bring dogs out one day!!

was kinda last min meet up n so shirley was abt to slp..
so she didnt manage to join us..
hahaa next time next time!!

indian called and told me the bad news..
sigh.. called sister immediately but couldnt reach her..
then called ss and as usual.. missing in action..
cant u jus reply a simple sms??
sometimes i really feel like jus ignoring u!!!
ARGH!!! FUCK U FUCK U!!!

posted by RaChEw @ Thursday, August 19, 2010 0 Comments

why are u always gone with the wind?
come and so as and when u like..
argh!! hate u la!!!

posted by RaChEw @ Wednesday, August 18, 2010 0 Comments

fuck you!
really! fuck off will you?
knn damn fucking pissed with u.
i was at my lift abt to go down when u told me u haven reach.
and less than 10mins later u told me u put the stuffs outside my door.
asked me to pass him when im runnin a fever and having test on mon.
well done and thanks for all these shit man!

and even tryin to be sarcastic..
saying that particular sentence ending with a "?!".
told bro about it and he told me most likly must be that bastard who used ur hp to type it again.
which i tot so too..

i tot u might jus be nice n get it n then go off..
but i was wrong.
so damn wrong!
so like wat ppl always say..
so long as we are no longer there, we r not frens anymore.

initially i was contemplating..
wanted to decline.. but still deep inside me there was this tiny winy sound telling me to go pass u personally..
wanted to ask sis before agreeing but i see the timin it was so late..
so gave it a miss.. called daughter instead..
and now i can say i fuckin regret.
anw i think its the end.
you're fucking not goin to affect me anymore!
mark my words!
thanks for spoiling my day, my mood for studyin!
what a nice 'used to be' fren.

anw thanks bro for the short chat!
ahahahaa u really made me felt so much better!!
shall we?? shall we??
hari raya haji is coming SOON!
i feel like leh..... HAHAHAHHAAAA

small gas ghost..
where are you now?
bet u r still partying away now..
i need you badly now!!
you r the only one who can help me think of ways to retaliate and cool me down instantly!
im sorry but still........ i really have the mental block cos of the 3 main reasons again!!!
whahahhaahhahahaaaa

posted by RaChEw @ Saturday, August 14, 2010 0 Comments

down with a bad bad flu..
fever fluctuating, sore throat and dry cough is killing me.
plus proj submissions and test are jus round the corner and bills have yet to be settled.
FML man.
screw everything!
and im quite sure she will be texting me to rush for it once again.
sigh. i dont uds why did i ever allow such things to happen to me man.
fuck.

anw finally on tue had a good chat with small gas ghost.
i know its damn tough but im glad u understand.
time definitely plays a huge factor in watever we have discussed and so jus let time prove it yep?
and really. sometimes somethings are better to be answered in other forms of communication.
im sorry for all that have happened for the past 3 weeks.
no longer taking the initiative to contact you as much i used to do so..
for all the reasons which i listed..

of cos i do uds where u r coming from..
but well.. i guess i jus need time to accept the reality.
haha.. next decision?
hmmm.. mayb u should b the one making it?
ahaha... anw.. all the best for biz next week!

had a great catch up with mummy over the phone last night..
super love her.
tho i've not been ard for almost 3mths, she's still so nice..
calling me here n there jus to ask how have i been..
catchin up with each other lives and sometimes asking about daddy..
so glad she enjoyed her trip..

if i have money, i will wan to travel with her one day!
pure shopping trip!
hahahaa.. did not manage to meet up as planned for this week cos she went overseas and i was sick.
plus all the submissions and test..
mayb next month cos now its mid month which means she's gonna get busy real soon.
tho u donno my blog, jus wanna say i love u mummy! =D

anw im so glad to know aunt fong might be back in sg next yr!
praying very hard to be during the cny period!
sure to take out ALL my time for her, madelene and justin!
hope to hear good news soon aunt!!
love ya tonnes!!!
my grad trip will be the states!!!
will be visiting sister and jason and mayb travel with them a little then over to houston to stay for a period of time!!!

posted by RaChEw @ Friday, August 13, 2010 0 Comments

happy belated birthday to singapore!
what a good way to celebrate sg!
i spent national day in jb!
hahahhaaa.. yes super broke so we went for a budget trip.. hahaa
only swipe card for my darling daughter's contact lens which she can use for god damn long!!
min one yr!

we were supposed to go for a roadtrip since fri night til tml..
but sis and me were so broke n we decided to call it off..
even sat's jb trip..
but somehow we managed to dig out some ringgit from last time and went for a food trip!
our main motive is to get our ass out of sg and jus spend time not thinkin about work but jus relaxing..
how i wish shirley tag along too!
and she will definitely somehow recognise the way to the seafood place which we used to patronize!

the best thing is when we all met up in the morning, sis and i were havin bad sore throat.
loving my nails so much and cant wait to let her see it tml at office and shirley!!
i bet shirley will say whaaaaaaaaaaaaa... hahahaa
had dinner and we were discussing about our plans as usual..
hahaha.. we seem to have so many plans cos we love love love travelling..
but the best part is money is still the root of evil.. sigh..

just hoping everything will be fine cos im so damn fucking broke..
need the customers to approve and i'll be the happiest gal on earth..
ahaha u guys need not know what im talking abt.. LOL

anw sat met up with dearest jessica and roy!!
wow!! been god damn long since i see jess!
she got a spare tic to YOG..
both of us went to watch it while roy went shopping..
nothing special.. jus felt its quite similar to ndp.. hahaa
desserts thereafter and home sweet home..
the bus uncle was a little crazy tho.. machiam driving crazy taxi.. hahaa

and i realise recently i seem to miss alot of ur msg..
u tend to contact me in the super wee hours of the morning when im asleep..
when i reply u dont, when u reply i dont.
sigh.. hate such things..
and i was so surprise to see ur call once again when im in malaysia... =D
small gas ghost.. hahahaa
im so gonna change ur name to tt in my phone!!

sometimes its not i don wan to answer ur question..
but i jus donno how to..
im sorry.. but i really don wan to avoid ur ques..
jus tt i really donno how should i ans.. and so i chose the coward way once again..
take care and all the best for next week!

posted by RaChEw @ Tuesday, August 10, 2010 0 Comments

i feel like a worm!
fever came back and i decided to give sch a miss.
jess text me askin if i wanna go yog with her on sat.
if im not goin to jb with sister, jason and andy i'll go!
we were supposed to go on a roadtrip lor!
just tat we are all too tight on budget..
sigh!

having mix feelings about life now.
love it cos i don have to worry anymore things about office and i have more time for myself and my frens..
and that i found a bunch of lovely people.
and found 2 people whom i can really talk everything under the sun!

hate it cos i don have sufficient funds to settle everything.
hate it cos i lost a great sister, a great buddy whom i tot i could rely on during my worst period of my life.
i couldnt blame her for what people term her as 2 headed snake.
cos when she's alone, we all know she means no harm but when she's with the fucker, she became a scary monster.

i admit defeat for the battle with him.
he succeed in creating shit in the friendship, adding poisoning her and jip her til the extend of her nasty attitude which made me and the rest backfire.
but well, for everything you did, you say and you plot, i accept it..
for i know god will arrange karma to people who deserve it.
i've master the way of letting go and im so proud of myself!
=D

posted by RaChEw @ Thursday, August 05, 2010 0 Comments

hmmm.. i was a little caught back when i realised she still reads my blog.
mayb b'cos she had spare time at home then?
i donno how far u read and how u felt.
2 possibilities.
1st, to be extremely pissed or secondly to be damn disappointed.
cos i know myself somethings i said were harsh.
but well, mostly are true feelings of myself and mayb a little here n there of others.

series of events happening.
a surprise party for dee with the rest..
hahaa and she was really surprised.
gave her a good bdae bash with a nice chocolate mouse onto her face..
hahaha anw hope she enjoyed it. =D

meet up with lqw and her sis last fri..
was a last min decision..
qing's idea and there were so many laughters.
its been quite some time since we laughed so happily together!!
gay was supposed to join but his grandpa got hospitalised..
home sweet home after that!
will meet up with cassie after qing comes back from her mission trip!

met up with gay for dinner on sat.
passed him his skin care products and hopefully he is using it obediently man!
chat quite abit and of cos as usual, we have tonnes of topics..
he accompanied me to do my stuffs and chat til my dad came over to pick me up..
he even suggest going overseas tgt and its so unbelievable! LOL
told him to join us for our trip if we all have sufficient money then! hahaa

sun met ly darling..
wow.. the night before i spent a good 9hrs cleaning up my room.
god damn tired but satisfied with how clean my room is now!
bet bear feels so much comfortable!
dinner with ly over at bishan s11..
and after tt headed over to amk mac to meet nicole baby!
slack til ard 12 and went home!

wisdom tooth had been givin me prob since fri..
and i finally see a doc on mon..
was on 5 days mc due to the fever and sore..
hahaha
and so i surprised dee on mon!
with the help of my crime in partner who is her mom!

tue met up with sister, tat and andy..
we were out discussing some stuffs but francis our main lead wasnt around!
and so we were damn lost! HAHA
all of us were over at JD except tat and we met him up at the food court.
had dinner and after tt received a call from old man askin if i wanna meet him at amk mac..
was duper late! sorry sorry!! HAHA and he wanted to fine me $2 for every min late!
so bad!

accompanied him for dinner but i din eat..
so full and went over to his void deck to chit chat..
almost tempted to go up and stay over cos i was so tired but i know i definitely wont be able to wake up by 6 to go home!
so i rejected him..
he suggested tonight but i cant cos i have early mornin lesson tml..
and so i told him mayb thus night..
shall see how...
i wanna watch my shows! HAHA
im sorry but sometimes i really think its not the time to ans ur questions!
so i tried to avoid. =(

and so today at work i received a text.
i really told myself not to reply.
but someone told me to do so..
cos i have been tryin to be strong but whenever i receive texts from her, i admit i always waiver!
i donno wat to say neither how to feel when i saw the text..
for i know everything in tweeter..
i really donno..
dilemma..
can someone give me an answer?
i think its really the end.

posted by RaChEw @ Wednesday, August 04, 2010 0 Comments

argh!!! fuck u!!!
fuck it!!!
maybe i shouldnt even bother!
shouldnt even bother if u have enough money to survive!
its not that i dont understand!
its just nobody knows and u cant tell people!
and so im jus super worried!
and u say i sounded as if u were in the wrong!
but i know u r not!
i am just worried for you understand?
u gundu!
i hate u!!

posted by RaChEw @ Tuesday, August 03, 2010 0 Comments

had nightmares while sleepin again..
once again she came into the dream.
wtf!!! but i cant rem the content..
i know it will definitely become dejavu.
sian MAX.

had a nice long chat last night with mummy.
meeting her next week i guess!
so nice to chat with her for like over an hr on the phone!
haahahaa..

posted by RaChEw @ Wednesday, July 28, 2010 0 Comments

somehow, sudd i realise that the trust is no longer there.
and i felt really skeptical when i received the text today.
wat's more?
i received the text not long after i reached JD's boutique.
and also the scariest part was trina and i dreamt abt her the night before.
how coincidental could it be when both of us dreamt of the same person on the same night?

so many thoughts runnin through my mind.
if u were sincere or had some motives back in ur mind.
i hate myself for having such thoughts but well i guess im jus afraid.
dont wan history to repeat.
tho it really hurts to decide to leave..
and when im determined, dreams start to come back and nice messages starts to come in.

its not something which i really want it to happen.
and even her sis called askin me wat happened.
missing the great old days but all i could do is to reminisce the past.
and i guess its really time to let go.
keep it all deep down in my heart.
goodbye my dearest sister, my friend.
i guess this is what god had arranged long time ago..

posted by RaChEw @ Monday, July 26, 2010 0 Comments

old man! I HATE YOU LA!
sometimes i really feel like bidding goodbye to u u know!
FUCK!
not angry, just disappointed.

posted by RaChEw @ Saturday, July 17, 2010 0 Comments

morning people..
slept at 3am and woke up at 7.30am automatically.
when i surf fb, i realised u removed me from favourites.
nice one.
for a moment, i really believed wat tat told me about wat u said.
yes i admit tho i have been tellin myself, tat, amanda n children i don care and i cant be bothered.
sis n trina was the first to declare i don mean wat i said.
some on my fb some on i think their walls.

stupid. naive. betrayed.
yes and i believe wat ss told me.
if tis is really how a best fren should treat each other.
and all he needed to use is to make me compare with his ex n the best fren.
i will and i must get over it.
are u really sincere?
i really donno. but i am always wavering whenever u play ard with words.
really.

i feel sis being unhappy these days.
for all that happened.
she's troubled with money.. i am too and so many more..
sigh.. i'll do my best sister.. i will.. i really will..
i hope u trust me and that this "sistership" is not worth only the amt of cashflow..
for u r really someone who helped me walked out of the past alot.
and i really really thank god for u.
i really really appreciate everything u had done.
the talks, the time, the lunch, the dinner, the hang out n etc!
i will really do my best. i will.
and i mustn't be greedy anymore.
i donno if u think im bullshitting, but i swear everything is the truth.
else i would not have shared so much things with u which nobody knew.
thanks sis for everything. i really mean it. really.

do u really mean wat u said?
u will be a little more free after aug 20...
i really hope so for i do miss those days.
our communication lvl dropped alot but sometimes the way u speak, the way u handle things, the way u give me solutions, the way u being my listening ear and the way u argue back with me never fail to brighten my day.
n i really hope to watch my shows soon.

when i heard wat u said in chinese, i felt so sian.
wheh i heard abt the long rod catch big fish, i felt u were like makin use of me.
and i really hated it.
do u even mean wat u said?
or u are jus tryin to disturb me like wat u did 2 weeks back?
hmmmm.. a penny of thoughts.
where's my holiday trip u wanted to sponsor me?
so so so many more things!..

anw thinkin of bakin some cookies for dearest people who might be comin over on sat.
also one jar for sis and one for ss.
not forgetting i will have some for trina, andrew, shirley, tat, sa mummy and m daddy.
hopefully i dont procrastinate myself and not bake like wat i used to.

posted by RaChEw @ Thursday, July 15, 2010 0 Comments