it was a good day yesterday.
realised that serving is what I like doing. should really do it more often.
makes me happy seeing how people enjoy themselves and the end product...
"behind the scenes" yet not quite out of sight at times.
only catch is, where am I making a difference? who else can I be of service to?
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
of anger.
Distorted Anger | The 5 Love Languages
- Gary Chapman, November 22 2011
"Many marriages have been destroyed by uncontrolled anger. The feeling of anger is not sinful. Even God feels anger. Great social reforms have been motivated by anger. But uncontrolled anger has destroyed the lives of thousands. If you feel angry, admit it and ask God to help you take positive action.
One constructive step is to ask: “Am I angry because someone sinned against me? Or, because I did not get what I wanted?” If someone sinned, you should be angry. That is godly anger. However, much of our anger is distorted – things simply did not go our way. If this is the case, we need to confess our selfish response, accept God’s forgiveness and release our anger to Him."
- Gary Chapman, November 22 2011
"Many marriages have been destroyed by uncontrolled anger. The feeling of anger is not sinful. Even God feels anger. Great social reforms have been motivated by anger. But uncontrolled anger has destroyed the lives of thousands. If you feel angry, admit it and ask God to help you take positive action.
One constructive step is to ask: “Am I angry because someone sinned against me? Or, because I did not get what I wanted?” If someone sinned, you should be angry. That is godly anger. However, much of our anger is distorted – things simply did not go our way. If this is the case, we need to confess our selfish response, accept God’s forgiveness and release our anger to Him."
Monday, November 21, 2011
to have patience.
I'm the type of person who can get upset/frustrated/angry easily.
being "reactive" to things that happen.
is there another way I can deal with situations?
especially the ones closest to me...they bear the brunt of my fury.
can I change how I respond to things?
it's not just my personal life but at work too.
doesn't help that the work environment is just, unfriendly.
how should I adjust what I say and do?
I know it won't come in an instant - patience.
I will probably go through MORE of such episodes.
only through them will I learn - or not.
am I willing to be open to change?
why can't things just be simple???
being "reactive" to things that happen.
is there another way I can deal with situations?
especially the ones closest to me...they bear the brunt of my fury.
can I change how I respond to things?
it's not just my personal life but at work too.
doesn't help that the work environment is just, unfriendly.
how should I adjust what I say and do?
I know it won't come in an instant - patience.
I will probably go through MORE of such episodes.
only through them will I learn - or not.
am I willing to be open to change?
why can't things just be simple???
Sunday, October 09, 2011
fun-loving?
one of my friends, B, mentioned something to me today which made me think. B said that he always thought that I was a very serious/prim and proper person. it was only after the events of yesterday that made him see that I had a fun side to me.
that gave me a "shock", yet in a way I was not surprised either. I'm not really the same person I was those years ago when I was in Dunedin. things and circumstances have changed so much, and I have assimilated into them.
back then I was a "shy" person when I first arrived in NZ. slowly I learnt how to socialise and made new friends, especially in Elim International. but I had to leave Dunedin. and things I guess went downhill from there. Christchurch was "okay", and I did enjoy my time with my last lot of flatmates, not so much church friends. and now moving to Hamilton, things changed again...
I suppose that doesn't make it an excuse as to why I have become such a serious person. maybe I thought that I must "grow up" and that means having to be "mature"? or just that there hasn't been opportunities to show how "fun" I can be? who knows. people who don't know me get an impression that I am "boring"...oh well.
anyway...
in other news, it's October already. realised with a shudder yesterday that I had actually gone through 6 weeks of General Medicine (!). it went by so fast. another 7 weeks to go then this run is over. wow. going to keep working hard I guess. apart from work, life's alright...
looking forward to my annual leave soon...
that gave me a "shock", yet in a way I was not surprised either. I'm not really the same person I was those years ago when I was in Dunedin. things and circumstances have changed so much, and I have assimilated into them.
back then I was a "shy" person when I first arrived in NZ. slowly I learnt how to socialise and made new friends, especially in Elim International. but I had to leave Dunedin. and things I guess went downhill from there. Christchurch was "okay", and I did enjoy my time with my last lot of flatmates, not so much church friends. and now moving to Hamilton, things changed again...
I suppose that doesn't make it an excuse as to why I have become such a serious person. maybe I thought that I must "grow up" and that means having to be "mature"? or just that there hasn't been opportunities to show how "fun" I can be? who knows. people who don't know me get an impression that I am "boring"...oh well.
anyway...
in other news, it's October already. realised with a shudder yesterday that I had actually gone through 6 weeks of General Medicine (!). it went by so fast. another 7 weeks to go then this run is over. wow. going to keep working hard I guess. apart from work, life's alright...
looking forward to my annual leave soon...
Monday, August 29, 2011
6 months on.
here comes an end to another part of working life. Orthopaedics is now officially behind me. the tough first days...I must say, I have come a long way. still not the best, but hopefully better than before. I've learnt much, made friends with colleagues and ward staff. will I miss it? I'm not sure about the workload. but it's the people that make the difference. remember the good times and forget the bad ones...
coming in to Medicine now, it's another story altogether. funnily enough, today I had a patient on each of the Ortho wards! so I visited the place where I slogged my guts out for the past 3 months. everyone seemed to miss me! (though I think it might be because my lot just left, they'll forget me in time.) but I guess it's just another job...
in all of that, I seem to have lost track of the purpose of being a doctor...
a few weeks ago, there was this patient, Mrs X, who said hi to me as I was talking to another patient in the room. I was thinking, she looks familiar, then recalled that I had been on call and had done Mrs X's admission. I stopped for a while and chatted, and was pleased she looked so well after her surgery to fix her broken leg. I didn't think much else about it. then just last week, I headed to the Transit Lounge to check on some paperwork...and I saw Mrs X again! this time she was headed out of hospital, I think to respite care of some sort. she still remembered me! wow! yeah...this is what I work for...
and thus begins another run...
I must never forget my humble beginnings...
coming in to Medicine now, it's another story altogether. funnily enough, today I had a patient on each of the Ortho wards! so I visited the place where I slogged my guts out for the past 3 months. everyone seemed to miss me! (though I think it might be because my lot just left, they'll forget me in time.) but I guess it's just another job...
in all of that, I seem to have lost track of the purpose of being a doctor...
a few weeks ago, there was this patient, Mrs X, who said hi to me as I was talking to another patient in the room. I was thinking, she looks familiar, then recalled that I had been on call and had done Mrs X's admission. I stopped for a while and chatted, and was pleased she looked so well after her surgery to fix her broken leg. I didn't think much else about it. then just last week, I headed to the Transit Lounge to check on some paperwork...and I saw Mrs X again! this time she was headed out of hospital, I think to respite care of some sort. she still remembered me! wow! yeah...this is what I work for...
and thus begins another run...
I must never forget my humble beginnings...
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
the least of these.
Matthew 25:31-46
New International Version (NIV)
The Sheep and the Goats
31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”
---
who am I to judge? there is a reason people come to the hospital - to get better. I think my attitude is unacceptable...
Monday, August 01, 2011
July has gone.
it's the first of August. how time flies. or more that the days go by just like that. day in, day out, almost doing the same thing everyday. I'm not complaining - it's been a "down" time recently as both my consultants have been away. most days just blur into one, with no vivid memories that I recall.
just did a weekend in Orthopaedics. it wasn't busy as such, in terms of having to juggle ward calls and admissions from ED. from the admission aspect it was really good actually. the registrars were great and did the full examination and even charted the medications! really really thankful for that. there weren't a lot of jobs on the wards to do either. only thing is, the few that I got weren't exactly simple. won't and don't think it's appropriate to elaborate here (who knows who reads this), let's just say it was complex and needed further input.
however, because I saw these patients over the weekend and my team was pretty quiet, I helped out with the other teams and also checked up on those I saw on the weekend. one had been seen overnight with ongoing problems, one appeared to be better and one was looking much worse than before. which made me wonder, did I do the right thing, what else should I have done and what could I do better next time? how would I find out the answers?
I feel that maybe if I did things a bit differently, it wouldn't be like this today. maybe I could have prevented it. maybe it could have been treated earlier. I am so unsure...
anyway, it's time to hit the sack...enough thinking for one day (and weekend)...
just did a weekend in Orthopaedics. it wasn't busy as such, in terms of having to juggle ward calls and admissions from ED. from the admission aspect it was really good actually. the registrars were great and did the full examination and even charted the medications! really really thankful for that. there weren't a lot of jobs on the wards to do either. only thing is, the few that I got weren't exactly simple. won't and don't think it's appropriate to elaborate here (who knows who reads this), let's just say it was complex and needed further input.
however, because I saw these patients over the weekend and my team was pretty quiet, I helped out with the other teams and also checked up on those I saw on the weekend. one had been seen overnight with ongoing problems, one appeared to be better and one was looking much worse than before. which made me wonder, did I do the right thing, what else should I have done and what could I do better next time? how would I find out the answers?
I feel that maybe if I did things a bit differently, it wouldn't be like this today. maybe I could have prevented it. maybe it could have been treated earlier. I am so unsure...
anyway, it's time to hit the sack...enough thinking for one day (and weekend)...
Friday, July 08, 2011
then there was another one.
how many times does encouragement happen?
how many negatives to go through before a positive?
how much hard work (and tears) has to be put in first?
is it all worth the once-in-a-while compliment?
the one that makes you regain the purpose of your work again?
it's not just any compliment, from anyone...
and it's something I don't see myself as - confident, friendly.
all these make me question: what am I really working for?
thank yous for cheering me on...you don't know how much that means to me. maybe it's because you've been through this phase yourselves. but just that simple word of encouragement...maybe it IS my smile I'm blessed with...
how many negatives to go through before a positive?
how much hard work (and tears) has to be put in first?
is it all worth the once-in-a-while compliment?
the one that makes you regain the purpose of your work again?
it's not just any compliment, from anyone...
and it's something I don't see myself as - confident, friendly.
all these make me question: what am I really working for?
thank yous for cheering me on...you don't know how much that means to me. maybe it's because you've been through this phase yourselves. but just that simple word of encouragement...maybe it IS my smile I'm blessed with...
Monday, June 06, 2011
they say...
...what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
but what if it DOES kill you first? then what?
now I know why others found it hard entering the workforce half a year ago. I got off too lightly I'd say, starting with Psych. just a stroll in the park.
the previous post pre-empted the day after that, a day I'd like to forget. where my world just came crumbling down. thankfully there were people who cared.
but...
is this really what I want?
is this what I have been striving for?
is this where I see my future?
is this...
me?
all my doubts have resurfaced, once again.
I promised you I would give it another week or two. maybe it'll get better. I suppose even if I have to suffer, it will be for the sake of our future. I want toxxxx xx, yet I know I will be letting so many people down - our families, and you.
I just pray that WE will be STRONG, individually and together...
but what if it DOES kill you first? then what?
now I know why others found it hard entering the workforce half a year ago. I got off too lightly I'd say, starting with Psych. just a stroll in the park.
the previous post pre-empted the day after that, a day I'd like to forget. where my world just came crumbling down. thankfully there were people who cared.
but...
is this really what I want?
is this what I have been striving for?
is this where I see my future?
is this...
me?
all my doubts have resurfaced, once again.
I promised you I would give it another week or two. maybe it'll get better. I suppose even if I have to suffer, it will be for the sake of our future. I want to
I just pray that WE will be STRONG, individually and together...
Monday, May 30, 2011
crash and burn.
day one of Orthopaedics.
post acutes after being the weekend team on call.
don't know the patients, no reliever to help out.
lack of sleep...
lack of interest...in Ortho.
lack of motivation...to go to work.
coming from an extremely slow paced run to this acute run is difficult.
and when you don't know ANYTHING at all.
still jobs/stuff incomplete despite leaving late.
and things didn't seem to work out the way they were supposed to.
the rest of this year looks like it's going to be long and tedious.
inadequacy.
incompetency.
impossible.
if I left this world tomorrow I have so many regrets.
this is not where I feel I'm meant to be.
not. at. all.
where is the joy?
post acutes after being the weekend team on call.
don't know the patients, no reliever to help out.
lack of sleep...
lack of interest...in Ortho.
lack of motivation...to go to work.
coming from an extremely slow paced run to this acute run is difficult.
and when you don't know ANYTHING at all.
still jobs/stuff incomplete despite leaving late.
and things didn't seem to work out the way they were supposed to.
the rest of this year looks like it's going to be long and tedious.
inadequacy.
incompetency.
impossible.
if I left this world tomorrow I have so many regrets.
this is not where I feel I'm meant to be.
not. at. all.
where is the joy?
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
in this instant world...
...everything needs to be done at once. or at least sooner rather than later.
realised something about myself - I want things done instantly. I'm a bit like a (spoilt) child, when I want something I want it now. but when I am asked to do something, I will sometimes put it off till later. have I ever thought about what the other person wants? maybe...maybe not.
and another thing - I don't like to be told off by people. no, it's not totally my fault but still...I was just trying to be helpful. I really dislike being scolded or in the wrong, and it's been this way since primary school as far as I can remember. I think I'm too guai sometimes...
man...almost lost it at work today...scary. combination of both the above and my whole demeanour changed. there wasn't a smile on my face. I think people might have noticed. better make sure I control my emotions at work...=S
realised something about myself - I want things done instantly. I'm a bit like a (spoilt) child, when I want something I want it now. but when I am asked to do something, I will sometimes put it off till later. have I ever thought about what the other person wants? maybe...maybe not.
and another thing - I don't like to be told off by people. no, it's not totally my fault but still...I was just trying to be helpful. I really dislike being scolded or in the wrong, and it's been this way since primary school as far as I can remember. I think I'm too guai sometimes...
man...almost lost it at work today...scary. combination of both the above and my whole demeanour changed. there wasn't a smile on my face. I think people might have noticed. better make sure I control my emotions at work...=S
Saturday, April 16, 2011
full of cobwebs...
wow. haven't been blogging recently. hmm. and this is a short update...
my daily routine consists of going to work (I've been slack and arriving at work later than I should! =S), coming home to exercise (*ahem*) and cook (sometimes), then watching TV for the rest of the evening (there's usually good programmes). PLUS Skyping with my other half whenever possible! typical schedule with the occasional long day at the main hospital once a week or so.
recently been feeling quite inadequate in terms of managing patients. I have always had the problem of formulating a good patient management plan. I am okay with interviewing and somewhat okay with examining them, but when it comes to the differential diagnosis and plan...it gets a bit dodgy. even after all these years, I have yet to become good at it. it's not that I don't enjoy my job, I just need to get better at what I am doing so that I have more confidence.
last Tuesday, 5th Apr some things happened that I just want to note down:
1. we had a PGY1 teaching session at the BEC auditorium about informed consent. at the start we were all asked to introduce ourselves, say what we liked to do outside of Medicine, and state our career aspirations. mine went like this: "hi, I'm Nadia, and I'm a house officer doing Forensic Psychiatry. outside of Medicine, I like to stay at home and let time pass. (pause...some laughter as people seemed amused) as for my career, I'd like to practice medicine in a third-world country."
I really did mean it when I was saying that. I prefer staying at home and not be having to do much than to go out. be it online on Facebook/YouTube/Skype...this is what I enjoy doing. not that I don't HAVE hobbies like sports, etc. maybe I said that because I wanted to get attention? I like making people laugh. and most people had very high aspirations. I usually say that I would like to be a GP, depending on who I'm talking to. I just wanted to be different that day I guess.
2. I was really encouraged by one of the nurses who was retiring (she was 70 but didn't exactly look it!). was just checking up on a patient who wasn't under my care but whom I was called to see 2 weeks earlier. she said that no matter where I was in life, that I'd always be a doctor. something about me having a heart for people. and this was based on only meeting her a couple of times and not really working with her. then she gave me a hug and said "God bless you" as I left.
yeah...that's it.
I think there is underlying stress in me. although I might not show it, but I am stressed. and in situations where I can't control it anymore, I break down. twice this past week. once after my long day on Tues (12th) and yesterday when my online document got erased because I didn't save it (!!!). and once 2 weekends ago. bleargh. need to learn how to de-stress/deal with stress?
appreciate you trying to understand, I know it's not easy, especially dealing with me of all people. and it's not like either of us can run away (technically yes but practically no). I'm a work in progress. thanks yah...
and thank you for being here for me. distance doesn't matter when it comes to the act of caring. to know you're standing by me through the good times and the bad...for times to come too. THANK YOU. =) looking forward to the time when geography is no longer a hindrance!
they say, the best is yet to come...
my daily routine consists of going to work (I've been slack and arriving at work later than I should! =S), coming home to exercise (*ahem*) and cook (sometimes), then watching TV for the rest of the evening (there's usually good programmes). PLUS Skyping with my other half whenever possible! typical schedule with the occasional long day at the main hospital once a week or so.
recently been feeling quite inadequate in terms of managing patients. I have always had the problem of formulating a good patient management plan. I am okay with interviewing and somewhat okay with examining them, but when it comes to the differential diagnosis and plan...it gets a bit dodgy. even after all these years, I have yet to become good at it. it's not that I don't enjoy my job, I just need to get better at what I am doing so that I have more confidence.
last Tuesday, 5th Apr some things happened that I just want to note down:
1. we had a PGY1 teaching session at the BEC auditorium about informed consent. at the start we were all asked to introduce ourselves, say what we liked to do outside of Medicine, and state our career aspirations. mine went like this: "hi, I'm Nadia, and I'm a house officer doing Forensic Psychiatry. outside of Medicine, I like to stay at home and let time pass. (pause...some laughter as people seemed amused) as for my career, I'd like to practice medicine in a third-world country."
I really did mean it when I was saying that. I prefer staying at home and not be having to do much than to go out. be it online on Facebook/YouTube/Skype...this is what I enjoy doing. not that I don't HAVE hobbies like sports, etc. maybe I said that because I wanted to get attention? I like making people laugh. and most people had very high aspirations. I usually say that I would like to be a GP, depending on who I'm talking to. I just wanted to be different that day I guess.
2. I was really encouraged by one of the nurses who was retiring (she was 70 but didn't exactly look it!). was just checking up on a patient who wasn't under my care but whom I was called to see 2 weeks earlier. she said that no matter where I was in life, that I'd always be a doctor. something about me having a heart for people. and this was based on only meeting her a couple of times and not really working with her. then she gave me a hug and said "God bless you" as I left.
yeah...that's it.
I think there is underlying stress in me. although I might not show it, but I am stressed. and in situations where I can't control it anymore, I break down. twice this past week. once after my long day on Tues (12th) and yesterday when my online document got erased because I didn't save it (!!!). and once 2 weekends ago. bleargh. need to learn how to de-stress/deal with stress?
appreciate you trying to understand, I know it's not easy, especially dealing with me of all people. and it's not like either of us can run away (technically yes but practically no). I'm a work in progress. thanks yah...
and thank you for being here for me. distance doesn't matter when it comes to the act of caring. to know you're standing by me through the good times and the bad...for times to come too. THANK YOU. =) looking forward to the time when geography is no longer a hindrance!
they say, the best is yet to come...
Thursday, March 17, 2011
starting work...
and so it's coming to an end of week 3 of my proper working life. technically not "proper" as such seeing how I'm doing Psych, and Forensic Psych at that. but still working and getting PAID (got my FIRST pay today! YAY!) lol. plus I did my FIRST on-call long day in the main hospital yesterday and...survived. =D checked up on the patients today and they were all doing fine. made appropriate decisions with the help of nurses, on-call reg and night SHO. it's a good start I guess...
unfortunately, not so good news for Japan. the following taken from Google's website:
"On March 11 at 2:46pm JST a massive 9.0-magnitude earthquake occurred near the northeastern coast of Japan, creating extremely destructive tsunami waves which hit Japan just minutes after the earthquake, and triggering evacuations and warnings across the Pacific Ocean. The earthquake and tsunami have caused extensive and severe damage in Northeastern Japan, leaving thousands of people confirmed dead, injured or missing, and millions more affected by lack of electricity, water and transportation."
so many earthquakes...makes you wonder if the world really is coming to an end soon?
anyways, weekend's coming up. I prefer to spend my evenings and free time on my own or online with my other half. somehow I'm quite anti-social. oh well.
unfortunately, not so good news for Japan. the following taken from Google's website:
"On March 11 at 2:46pm JST a massive 9.0-magnitude earthquake occurred near the northeastern coast of Japan, creating extremely destructive tsunami waves which hit Japan just minutes after the earthquake, and triggering evacuations and warnings across the Pacific Ocean. The earthquake and tsunami have caused extensive and severe damage in Northeastern Japan, leaving thousands of people confirmed dead, injured or missing, and millions more affected by lack of electricity, water and transportation."
so many earthquakes...makes you wonder if the world really is coming to an end soon?
anyways, weekend's coming up. I prefer to spend my evenings and free time on my own or online with my other half. somehow I'm quite anti-social. oh well.
Friday, February 25, 2011
more than just the MOVE.
am currently now residing in Hamilton...and thankful to God that I am safe here.
MAJOR FATAL EARTHQUAKE OF MAGNITUDE 6.3 HIT CHRISTCHURCH ON TUESDAY 22ND FEBRUARY 2011 AT 12.51PM (Geonet report, more about quakes: Geonet)
current death toll stands at 113, and is expected to rise as the search and rescue work continue.
follow the latest news of the earthquake...
my experience via interview with Lianhe Zaobao (in Mandarin):
---
刚在当地修读完医学课程的黄奕舒（24岁）地震发生时身在基督城机场准备乘搭班机到哈密尔顿（Hamilton）工作。
地震发生后机场紧急关闭，所有人都必须撤离。黄奕舒说，由于机场远离震源，她感受到的地震威力不大，“没想到市中心却遭受如此严重的损坏，比去年9月那次破坏力更大，更惊人。”
地震发生后人们纷纷拨打电话导致电话网络瘫痪，黄奕舒只好在第一时间发简讯给新加坡的家人报平安。
黄奕舒在市中心以北郊区的寓所虽然没有受损，但余震频频，她只能与几名马来西亚朋友提心吊胆地度过灾难发生后的第一个夜晚。
她说，朋友都第一时间在面簿上报平安，所幸朋友中无人在地震中受到伤害。
---
if you didn't understand that, I'd just arrived at the airport for my flight from Christchurch to Hamilton when the quake hit. I was freaked out but thought it was just another aftershock, only to hear that it was 6.3 and devastated the city. the airport was closed so everyone evacuated from the terminals were forced to find accommodation till it reopened the next day. the aftershocks were the worst though - constant rumbling and shaking, and the fear of things collapsing around you. fortunately, my friends have all been okay. and I got out the next day too. I'm really glad to be out of there...
another story by fellow Christchurch Singaporean Emmie: 'I thought I was going to die!' - The Straits Times
in hard times like these, there have been miracles too, though not many more as the days go on. heard about a wedding for 2 quake survivors and was touched.
but every time I turn on the TV and watch the media footage, tears well up in my eyes. not sure if it's because of the loss of lives, or for some other reason like me having survived TWO large-ish earthquakes but being haunted by the memories forever.
I'm still trying to get used to my new place. being situated next to one of the State Highways doesn't help...when the huge trucks drive past my flat (which is VERY OFTEN in the daytime and less but still going after midnight), the floor vibrates and feels EXACTLY like an aftershock. and when the neighbour slams the door, it's like a jolt from a larger aftershock. people who haven't experienced major earthquakes won't know what it feels like...but living in anxiety half the time does more harm than good. =S
all these make last month seem like a LONG time ago. I'd only arrived back in NZ for a week, and spent it in Christchurch. of all days...the day and time I chose to get out was the exact timing of the earthquake. oh well. at least I have escaped successfully. now to ensure my belongings "escape" tomorrow too...
and having been missing from the online world in a long time, I guess it's been different since my relationship status had been upgraded. there isn't much of a need to blog all the time anymore. we shall see how it goes as I start work on Monday...
you'll next hear from me when you next hear from me then.
in the meantime, just posting to let everyone know that I'm safe and (not so) sound up north in Hamilton...
MAJOR FATAL EARTHQUAKE OF MAGNITUDE 6.3 HIT CHRISTCHURCH ON TUESDAY 22ND FEBRUARY 2011 AT 12.51PM (Geonet report, more about quakes: Geonet)
current death toll stands at 113, and is expected to rise as the search and rescue work continue.
follow the latest news of the earthquake...
my experience via interview with Lianhe Zaobao (in Mandarin):
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刚在当地修读完医学课程的黄奕舒（24岁）地震发生时身在基督城机场准备乘搭班机到哈密尔顿（Hamilton）工作。
地震发生后机场紧急关闭，所有人都必须撤离。黄奕舒说，由于机场远离震源，她感受到的地震威力不大，“没想到市中心却遭受如此严重的损坏，比去年9月那次破坏力更大，更惊人。”
地震发生后人们纷纷拨打电话导致电话网络瘫痪，黄奕舒只好在第一时间发简讯给新加坡的家人报平安。
黄奕舒在市中心以北郊区的寓所虽然没有受损，但余震频频，她只能与几名马来西亚朋友提心吊胆地度过灾难发生后的第一个夜晚。
她说，朋友都第一时间在面簿上报平安，所幸朋友中无人在地震中受到伤害。
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if you didn't understand that, I'd just arrived at the airport for my flight from Christchurch to Hamilton when the quake hit. I was freaked out but thought it was just another aftershock, only to hear that it was 6.3 and devastated the city. the airport was closed so everyone evacuated from the terminals were forced to find accommodation till it reopened the next day. the aftershocks were the worst though - constant rumbling and shaking, and the fear of things collapsing around you. fortunately, my friends have all been okay. and I got out the next day too. I'm really glad to be out of there...
another story by fellow Christchurch Singaporean Emmie: 'I thought I was going to die!' - The Straits Times
in hard times like these, there have been miracles too, though not many more as the days go on. heard about a wedding for 2 quake survivors and was touched.
but every time I turn on the TV and watch the media footage, tears well up in my eyes. not sure if it's because of the loss of lives, or for some other reason like me having survived TWO large-ish earthquakes but being haunted by the memories forever.
I'm still trying to get used to my new place. being situated next to one of the State Highways doesn't help...when the huge trucks drive past my flat (which is VERY OFTEN in the daytime and less but still going after midnight), the floor vibrates and feels EXACTLY like an aftershock. and when the neighbour slams the door, it's like a jolt from a larger aftershock. people who haven't experienced major earthquakes won't know what it feels like...but living in anxiety half the time does more harm than good. =S
all these make last month seem like a LONG time ago. I'd only arrived back in NZ for a week, and spent it in Christchurch. of all days...the day and time I chose to get out was the exact timing of the earthquake. oh well. at least I have escaped successfully. now to ensure my belongings "escape" tomorrow too...
and having been missing from the online world in a long time, I guess it's been different since my relationship status had been upgraded. there isn't much of a need to blog all the time anymore. we shall see how it goes as I start work on Monday...
you'll next hear from me when you next hear from me then.
in the meantime, just posting to let everyone know that I'm safe and (not so) sound up north in Hamilton...
Friday, January 28, 2011
pray.
Pray - Justin Bieber
Ohh oh ohh x3
And I pray
I just can't sleep tonight
Knowing that things ain't right
It's in the papers, it's on the TV, it's everywhere that I go
Children are crying
Soldiers are dying
Some people don't have a home
But I know there's sunshine behind that rain
I know there's good times behind that pain
Can you tell me how I can make a change
I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and pray
I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and pray
I lose my appetite, knowing kids starve tonight
Am I a sinner, cause half my dinner is still there on the plate
Ooo I got a vision, to make a difference
And it's starting today
Cause I know there's sunshine behind that rain
I know there's good times behind that pain
Heaven tell me how I can make a change
I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and pray
I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and pray
For the broken-hearted
I pray for the life not started
I pray for all the ones not breathing
I pray for all the souls in need
I pray, can you give em one today
I just can't sleep tonight
Can someone tell how to make a change?
I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and pray
I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and I pray
I pray
I close my eyes and pray
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