Was reading about some rather messy coming out events. I always wondered about how other people did their big gay confessional, and the aftermath.
I was present for two, the first a bit remotely.
The ex was actually forced out of the closet by a visiting screaming hysterical dowager empress of a mother (always had been more than a bit of a bitch, but that's more a function of having lots of money and not really having had to work for it). The poor boy had been positively petrified about being outed for years (also having been blackmailed over it before). Not shocking considering he had been repeatedly threatened by both parents and otherwise loving sister with disownment. The surprising supportiveness of the other two players at the event aside, the blubbering dowager left my (then) poor rabbit quivering in the bathroom, where he panic-called me in a rather uncharacteristically morbid flat but wavering voice to inform me that he may have to start living with me shortly.
Things ultimately turned out stable, but the dowager's continued state of open denial and constant pestering for him to find a girl to knock up has kept the ex in an interesting state of accomodation. He has taken to living in the closet with doors wide open, something I continue to chastise him over till today.
The second was my own "coming out".
Convinced that I was well and thoroughly gay (having, at the time, held a steady boyfriend for five years), the older of my two younger sisters urged me to have a grand speech over dinner for our visiting parental units. She was either fairly confident that my parents would be able to handle it, or secretly hoping they would force me back on the "straight and narrow"; she was a classical bible-thumping, church going, hymn singing, err, person. To this day, I cannot say which, but her rather impersonal supportiveness of my in-and-out-again romantic situation says that we will at the very least be civil about it.
The younger, being more greatly influenced by more enlightened and insidious minds as I, was generally of good disposition towards the idea, although not particularly forceful in calling for it. For her, she was glad enough to have an older scapegoat for a lot of the unwanted parental attentions typically foisted on wayward teenagers.
Now, as a quick aside, I have never really felt the need to "come out" for the simple reason that I don't feel particularly strongly about sexing men or women. As a teenager, this used to confuse me greatly, and caused a fair bit of consternation for the girls in class who would decry my lack of gentlemanliness in not treating them with the deference apparently due to ladies. Indeed, I could not feel the need to bend over backwards for either gender. It was only later that I discovered that there was a term for this, but in a world typically so starkly polarised, things like ambidexterity, dual-wielding, and bisexuality are not commonly known or understood.
So my "coming out" was rather unspectacular. I announced over dinner that I had romantic dispositions for men as well as women. My parents seemed confused at the idea, and so asked for elaboration, and further queried about having any male partners since the last youthful liason with a lovely lady I had met through writing this very blog. Having told them of him and how things seemed a bit off due to his need to "find himself", my mother was quick to quip that maybe I needed to find myself, too. My father, to his credit, seemed his usual nonplussed self, and said I should just stay safe and be happy.
The only remarkable change since then, I guess, was the total lack of interest expressed by either of them in any facet of my romantic life. It used to be that they asked after all my friends, as well as if I was seeing anyone, or how things were going. Now, after three years, still radio silence on the topic. I'm pretty sure they are aware I have been out and about, but the lack of official curiousity on the topic has proven to be a deafening silence. This is especially so when they quite openly and actively question the girls about theirs.
Further noticeable is that their decreasing queries about anything not job-related at all. It is, admittedly, a refreshing break from the horror stories of friends (and some enemies), but one can't help but wonder if I am entirely comfortable about this lack of confrontation. I would surmise this is their way to maintain a little Christian diplomacy and tact, but it does make me wonder if they're hoping against hope that my next fling would be someone of the vaginal variety, and that the fling would turn out quite permanent? It worries a bit to consider that they may be sabotaging my stock of prophylactics if it were ever the case to make marriage a strong argument (not that I'm the particularly responsible sort, nor am I in anyway against abortion).
Certainly, their occasional ribbing about my vehemence against the idea of marriage is certainly indicative of their preference in the matter.
