chasing...

Sometimes it feels like I'm chasing the shadow of a dream. A dream so real I can see it in front of me. A dream so lush it feels like a clearing in the forest of nightmares I have to face every waking moment. No nightmare so terrible as one that is mediocre.

And this shadow eludes me. I pour so much into the search, but it does not want to be found. I delight in the hunt, but the misses always crush the spirit. God forbid I shoot myself in the head and end a fruitless search.

Chasing shadows, chasing dreams.

just...

...give it up.

Trying a bit hard, sometimes. But it's something you have to do.

buku...

...muka.

Sigh. Sad but necessary. One goes with the flow.

drawbacks...

Sometimes, people think of some things as drawbacks.

Things like the protracted period before things start to work.

Things like having to rinse, wash and repeat.

Things like people trying to insinuate themselves into your life.

Things like being gassy.

Things like a chance that something might not go as planned and you end up dead.

Granted, if everything goes well, I'm very sure it's a good trade-off. And for some, the drawbacks might actually be desired effects.

fleshly concerns...

Trying something new. If it works, best 300 bucks I ever spent. If it doesn't, most unnecessarily arduous month ever.

Don't wish me luck. Wish me success.