i resolve to...
... be less annoyed and more amused.
... find more things to be amused about.
... care even less about stupid people.
... make sure there are fewer stupid people around to care about.
... be more understanding of the fact that since a rough 80% of people are idiots there will be some that cannot be cured and hence should just be accepted for the people they are.
... carve out an empire on a periodic basis.
... make sure that at least one of those empires is not on a piece of rigid cardboard marked out by little purple plastic men and elephants.
... get round to completing that self help series.
... more domineering in a way that makes me look like a leader.
... dupe more people into believing I'm funny.
... make MORE money.
... make said money hopefully off the stupid people I let off because they are simply being who they are.
... take pictures of ridiculous things to mock.
... mock things that I forget to take pictures off.
... lose another third of my weight.
... make that weight appear on a number of horribly underweight friends.
... be more arrogant in a self-assured way that is extremely off-putting yet impossible to resist.
... make wide sweeping statements about things I know nothing about because it will seem like I know a lot where I actually know mostly nothing.
... listen to more upbeat and horrendously misplaced music.
... sing along to the upbeat and horrendously misplaced music in a loud and off-key fashion.
... cause more harm to the people who seem to be begging for it.
... make fun of genitalia.
... either develop a chemical addiction to antihistamines or to find a cure for cancer, AIDS, or ugly.
... be even more amused at everything.
... prevent the conception of as many embryos as I can.
... disrupt as many social conventions as I can in a way that I will be free to be amused at the results.
... be comprehensively sound in my own sense of smug self-satisfaction all the while appearing to take "constructive criticism".
... mathematically prove that God does not hate fags, although smoking IS a very disgusting habit.
... finish all my math homework before attempting that mathematical proof.
... show that all religion is eville and people would save a lot of money buying me sandwiches.
... bring all the world to its knees by kicking everyone in the crotch.
... bring peace on Earth and goodwill to all men, and also women, but not children.
... talk about sex in front of children.
... be decisive.
... ignore a large majority of the above list, or not.
