simply dumb

guest: are u frm china?
me: NO
guest: oh. then where are u frm?
me: singapore
guest: is that in china?

-_-

PS. it's not tat i look cheena-ish, it's juz tat e dumb asses here tinks aLL chinese looking ppl are frm china k.. bah~

heard these a million times...

at e junkyard

"isit scary?"
"i like ur shoes"
"do things pop out?"

at e skyride

"are there any seat belts?"
"where do i enter?"
"how many tickets?"
"i like ur shoes"
"tis is juz like a ski lift"

at e great white

"how many tickets?"
"is my seat belt tight enough?"
"can u tighten e seat belt for me?"
"ouch! my balls!"

so sick of hearing those man, seriously a million times a day lorz.

oh, one word of caution: do not ever get on a ride operator's nerves.

ride operators can either make ur seat belt damn loose so tat u'll fly off, or slam e lap bar so damn hard tat u'r rendered barren. ohohohoho~

summing up

e no. of bruises n scrapes i've got frm e various rides tat i operate:

great white - 5
skyride - 1
junkyard - 0

winner: great white!

hehz~

PS. great white is e mega roller coaster in e pier tat im working at. n i noe e bruises n scrapes cant be seen clearly frm e pic, but oh well, as long as i noe they are there. haha~

mexico vs bulgaria

a conversation betw e head of e pier n his bulgarian associate...

head of pier: *excited* yes! mexico is in to e 2nd round!
bulgarian: *nonchalant* oh com'on, mexico wun make it past 2nd round. they'll be gg home v soon!
head of pier: *pissed* bulgaria is already at home! grr~~

LoL~

when e head of ur pier is tat crazy, everybody working in e pier is crazy. which makes e pier fun n an enjoyable place to work in! hee~

still alive!

im still alive! i went for a road trip n came back safe n sound! LoL~

all e niagara woes were unfounded lahz, it turned out pretty okay.

we din go to most of e places tat was in e itinerary (e one where i stayed up till 4am to plan) tho, made spontaneous chges to our plan after we reached niagara. haha~

was a fun trip. n memorable too, cuz i inexplicably puked thrice after drinking a bottle of smirnoff (5% alcohol) n half a cup of budweiser. don tink im such a bad drinker lehz.. -_-

tats all for now, been damn tired these few days man.

being an attendant on e above ride is ultra tiring. but it's damn cool too. hohoho~

niagara woes

juz when i tot we'r all set for niagara, stunts are being pulled on us:

1) e meeting we'r supposed to hold yesternite to discuss itinerary din take place cuz our travelmate/s came home late. hmmm.

2) suddenly realised yesternite tat my supervisor will be off today and hence we cant use his printer to print out all our maps. n there's no way else tat we can print out e maps. tis sparked off super alot of shit.

3) me n my roomies had to stay up till 4am to discuss alternatives, now tat we cant print out e relevant maps.

4) it din help tat e other half of our niagara travelmates were ald aslp, e half tats awake cant make decision cuz e other half is not around. but cant blame em oso lahz, they needa work early.

5) we have some "slpin" niagara travelmates who have, till now, appeared to have made little contribution to e planning of e whole trip. okay mayb they did, juz tat i din noe.

6) majority of us cant/hate reading maps. n i don tink e one who can n is supposed to doing e topo-ing is preparing for it. muz go whack him tonite. muahahaha~

7) n it din help tat tis news appeared on our local chinese paper yester.

my parents are pretty worried abt me gg on tis road trip, hope they din freak out even more after reading tat piece of news.

okay mayb im being too paranoid, everything will go smoooooothly yeah. it shd be fun lahz huh, gd company n gd scenary n gd experience. *cross fingers*

wish us luck! =)

hello?

it's ez to tell tat e monolingual security guard stationed at e entrance is eager to learn another language e instant i entered Washington DC's National Air and Space Museum...

security guard: hi, where are u frm?
me: singapore
security guard: *excited* ohhhh~ then how do u say hello in singapore??
me: hello
security guard: *sian diaoz*

LoL~

brainless me

my current job makes me feel dumb. even though im paid US$6.15/hr (even e macdonald's here pay US$6.50/hr btw) for doing simple routinal tasks, it's all v brainless.

all i do is to load passengers, press buttons and unload passengers. no brains required. i even repeat e same simple sentences millions of times everyday. alwayz almost lose my voice at e end of e day lorz.

"pls leave ur slippers there"
"watch ur head"
"pull e bar down"
"feet off e bar pls"

super brainless. i fear tat by e time i go back to sg i'll have my IQ reduced by half.

n it doesnt help tat one of my angmoh supervisor is an intern who's 2yrs younger than me. hehz~

how many languages do u noe?

question 1: wat is someone who knows multiple languages known as?
answer 1: multi-linguist

question 2: wat is someone who knows 2 languages known as?
answer 2: bi-linguist

question 3: wat is someone who oni knows 1 language known as?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
answer 3: AMERICANS!

LoL~

tots on e states so far...

1) most of e things here looks exactly like on tv. small quiet towns, pretty houses, beach full of bikini-clad girls (not e same as bikini babes), small town bar, etc. exactly like on tv. tats why i kept saying "tis is so american!" during my early wks here. haha~

2) i concluded tat e older e ppl here get, e fatter dey become. tats cuz i've observed tat skinny ppl are mostly teenagers n kids. it's sad how fat these ppl are man, like even tho they are not veriii old but they move like ah beks.

3) their horrible diet probably explains why these ppl are so fat. their food is 90% of e time too salty/sweet/oily. tink i've mentioned tis alotta times le, but juz wanna re-emphasise. e amt of fat ppl here is amazing, there were soooo many instances of guests getting rejected on rides cuz they'r so fat they cant fit into e seats. my goodness~

4) a typical hispanic here is generally better looking than a typical white. e whites all look e same to me lorz, blond with coloured eyes lorz. but e hispanics all look exotic n charming, in my opinion.

5) their coins r named differently. instead of 10cents/20cents, they named em quarters (25c) n dimes (10c). in e beginning i had such a hard time figuring out e right amt to pay lah.

6) they oso use diff units of measure. there was once i asked for 200 grams of mozzarella n the lady juz looked at me dumbfoundedly. they use ounces/pounds instead of kilograms, fahrenheit instead of deg cel, miles/feet/inches instead of km/m/cm.

7) even their paper size is different. their typical paper (right) is shorter n fatter than our A4 (left).

seriously trying veri hard 2b different huh. no wonder e SMU ppl fit in so well here. LoL~

8) to travel/live in e states, u muz be prepared to walk alot. we'r walking everyday lorz. in sg i took buses juz for a few stops, but here i hafta walk those few stops cuz there's simply no bus. e ppl here mostly drive cuz car is damn cheap, tats why there's no bus for short distances.

9) there's no lights on their highways lorz. highways are illuminated by those cone thingies tat reflect light frm vehicles' headlights n by lights frm e billboards. super scary. but e local drivers seem 2b handling it veri well.

10) e temperature here fluctuates drastically, tink i've said tis b4. there was once when i left e hse in e day at 30 deg cel, but returned home at nite at 17 deg cel. crazy.

11) e ppl here are dumb. dey dont understand simple english instructions like "pls leave ur slippers there". dumb. mayb it's e air here, makes ppl dumb. stimes i yell till bek chek but they still nv budge. wth~

12) im becoming v proficient at faking e american accent. tats cuz e ppl here are dumb, dey cant understand simple english instructions unless i say em using e american accent. dey are dumb. but e fun part comes when i use e fake american accent to irritate my partner at work. muahahaha~

will add on more to these when i can think of more!

100th post!

cant believe it's ald e 100th post man, damn fast lorz.

decided to do a "best compilation" thingy as my 100th post, so, with e help of my roomies, i've selected some posts tat r more interesting. hohoho~

top 10 posts (in chrono order)

1) for u...
2) how to apply moisturiser on ur back
3) friday e 13th
4) e bollywood prof
5) e extraordinary applied research proj
6) you mei you??
7) sorry, ah bek
8) e obnox
9) it's polling day!
10) hilarious dad

click on e links if u wanna experience/relive the "qian is full of shit" experience. haha~