Seth wanted to know the meaning of a song he was singing along to. It got to a part that meant something like: our dreams will be stronger than our fear! Seth was a little confused. I explained: "Dreams and hopes. Not like dreams when you're asleep. But when you dream of something for the future, and you think about how great that would be."
Seth: Oh yeah, that's right!
Me: Do you have any hopes or dreams?
He almost didn't let me finish my sentence, but blurted over the top of me: "Oh yes!"
Me: What are they?
Seth: To be a ninja. Or to be in a jungle all by myself...and be a scientist...and discover NEW plants. That would be great. Yeah....
And, with that, he melted away into his own reverie....
Haha!
Speaking of meanings of songs, Seth also loves the Bruno Mars "you're amazing just the way you are" song. Every time it comes on, he talks about what a wonderful song it is, and do I understand the great thing he's saying...? Last time he heard it, he was totally inspired. "I think what this song is saying is TRUE. You shouldn't change just to be like someone else! No! Heavenly Father made everyone different and that's great! You have things you're good at and not good at, and you are just WONDERFUL—just wonderful!—just the WAY YOU ARE. Mom.... I know this song is true. I know it's a true song!"
Love it. :-)
We were in Target recently and Maren got all excited to see a character toothbrush. "Gigi!!" I thought I was the only one who knew what she was saying, but Seth realized as well and exclaimed with enough gusto for half the store to hear: "No, Maren, his name is DARTH VADER. Not Jesus."
There were many a delighted shopper.... :-)
Thursday, October 18
The Red Pony
My favorite thing about great writing is how it allows me to feel the heart and mind of a soul who is completely different than myself. I've always loved diversity—even thrived from it. I love diversity of opinion (I'm not that person who would like everyone to think or express the same things, or who hopes everyone will agree—or pretend to agree—with me). I love diversity of background and experience. I love to know people from many walks of life. I don't just love it. I need it. I thrive with it.
(If I seemed like my soul was sucked dry in my five years of all-white, all-upper-middle-class, all-Mormon, all-Republican, all-college-student life at BYU.... It was. Very, very much.)
I love to read a great book and get a chance to step into someone else's mind and heart. To empathize with a person's feelings, choices, experiences.... It's a sacred experience to me, truly!
But I also love those moments when a great writer captures, with better words than I ever could find, a feeling I've lived with in my life. I love when a great writer pulls something from deep within my heart, and makes it tangible through words. I love to get wrapped up in the thought he's trying to convey, with each phrase feeling like, yes, he's describing this better and better! I feel this! I know this!
It's so nice in those moments to feel...understood.... It's nice to feel like someone, sometime, empathized with me. And it's nice to be able to use the author's words in my own sooooo-INFJ quest to understand myself.
I just read a fabulous little book by John Steinbeck called The Red Pony. It's an atypical coming-of-age story, beautifully written, with compelling characters. I loved it.
I didn't personally relate to these characters all that much, which made it even more of a wham-moment when he finished a chapter with words I'd searched for so many times in my life. The feeling he described even occurred as the boy sat and contemplated and admired nature, which is exactly when I have always felt this exact thing. I loved how he wrote this:
"Jody walked through the vegetable patch, toward the brush line. He looked searchingly at the towering mountains—ridge after ridge after ridge until at last there was the ocean. Jody thought of [some stuff... :)]. And he thought of the great mountains. A longing caressed him, and it was so sharp that he wanted to cry to get it out of his breast. He lay down in the green grass near the round tub at the brush line. He covered his eyes with his crossed arms and lay there a long time, and he was full of a nameless sorrow."
That's me! It's me. To be alone in nature, thinking.... Caressed by a longing so sharp you want to cry just to relieve it. But cry for what? It's a nameless longing. A nameless sorrow.
Sometimes I feel like maybe it's a moment of feeling like I'm in the wrong place, so far away from a heavenly home.... Perhaps a moment of feeling beautifully close to the Lord and needing Him so much closer. I don't really know. But I've felt it in peaceful moments throughout my life.... I've even sat by myself covering my eyes with crossed arms, as Steinbeck described, listening to a river flow, or waves crash, just soaking in the feeling.
Now I see I must not be the only one.... :-) What a nice moment; to find this in this little gem of a book. I love great writing.
P.S. This was my first Steinbeck novel since I was a kid. Oh, he's so good. His writing is so uniquely simple, but not a single word is wasted. So easy to read, yet so very meaningful. I'm a fan. :-)
Monday, May 21
Oh, Johhh-n...?
The other day we went to a little mountain town. It was a fun afternoon—the kids rode ponies, we spied on baby birds in nests, apple pie was eaten. My favorite moment of the day was during a stroll through some outdoor shops of woodworking and things. I noticed Seth talking to a wheelbarrow.... (Huh?) It was full of artificial flowers and Seth was poking through them saying:
John? Johhhh-n? Where are you, John?
Me: Seth, what are you looking for?
Seth: John the spider. He's gotta be [lifts up more plants] somewhere.
[Sing-songy again] Johhhhh-n? Where did you go-oh?
Me: Oh, that's interesting. Did you lose a spider or something?
Seth: No. It says right there....
And he points to a sign propped up on the wheelbarrow's handlebars that says, first, the name of a small business, then:
John? Johhhh-n? Where are you, John?
Me: Seth, what are you looking for?
Seth: John the spider. He's gotta be [lifts up more plants] somewhere.
[Sing-songy again] Johhhhh-n? Where did you go-oh?
Me: Oh, that's interesting. Did you lose a spider or something?
Seth: No. It says right there....
And he points to a sign propped up on the wheelbarrow's handlebars that says, first, the name of a small business, then:
you can always find John on the web
at blahblahblah.com
. . . :-)
This completely made my day.
Tuesday, March 27
10 more hours for this deal
You might remember that I enjoyed my little experiment with e-mealz. I racked up so many meal plans that I didn't renew my subscription.... But now I get to go back! I'm pretty happy because:
a) E-mealz has new management, is now emeals.com, and now has [trumpet fanfare] natural and organic meal plans! Woot! I wouldn't call myself granola, and I don't care all that much about organic. But I DO care about making myself eat more vegetables. The sample meal plans look great—easier ways to use a variety of veggies. And better side dishes. In my first subscription, side dishes were often skippable—potato chips or something. In the natural/organic meal plan, side dishes are still very simple, but it looks like they'll be much yummier and healthier.
b) Emeals is now significantly cheaper. Double-woot!
And even cheaper with the groupon you can buy in the next 10 hours. A whole year of easy meal plans for $29. You can even buy plans that are customized according to the weekly specials at your store of choice. Pretty cool.
Some of you may have seen me lamenting on facebook recently that cooking healthy meals takes too much time and makes way too much of a mess. I really hate destroying the kitchen just to amp up the yumminess and healthiness of dinner, and I really hate wasting time cooking when I could be playing with my kids. But people gotta eat, and healthy matters, right? The weeks that I've stuck with an emeals plan, I've felt much happier about the small amount of time I spent on food, the money I saved, and the fun of getting to try new things. For 29 bucks, you can't go wrong.
If you decide to try it, may as well use my referral links, right? :-)
Emeals:
Groupon:
http://www.groupon.com/deals/emeals-san-diego-1?sd=false&utm_campaign=UserReferral_dp&utm_medium=email&utm_source=uu906640
a) E-mealz has new management, is now emeals.com, and now has [trumpet fanfare] natural and organic meal plans! Woot! I wouldn't call myself granola, and I don't care all that much about organic. But I DO care about making myself eat more vegetables. The sample meal plans look great—easier ways to use a variety of veggies. And better side dishes. In my first subscription, side dishes were often skippable—potato chips or something. In the natural/organic meal plan, side dishes are still very simple, but it looks like they'll be much yummier and healthier.
b) Emeals is now significantly cheaper. Double-woot!
And even cheaper with the groupon you can buy in the next 10 hours. A whole year of easy meal plans for $29. You can even buy plans that are customized according to the weekly specials at your store of choice. Pretty cool.
Some of you may have seen me lamenting on facebook recently that cooking healthy meals takes too much time and makes way too much of a mess. I really hate destroying the kitchen just to amp up the yumminess and healthiness of dinner, and I really hate wasting time cooking when I could be playing with my kids. But people gotta eat, and healthy matters, right? The weeks that I've stuck with an emeals plan, I've felt much happier about the small amount of time I spent on food, the money I saved, and the fun of getting to try new things. For 29 bucks, you can't go wrong.
If you decide to try it, may as well use my referral links, right? :-)
Emeals:
Groupon:
http://www.groupon.com/deals/emeals-san-diego-1?sd=false&utm_campaign=UserReferral_dp&utm_medium=email&utm_source=uu906640
Wednesday, March 7
The Greatest
And if you're afraid of signing up for one, like I always was when they asked "would you like to sign up today?," let me share my newfound wisdom and assuage your fears!
Fear #1: It's complicated to sign up.
When you are checking out at Target, you tell you the cashier you want a debit card. You hand them a blank check. They scan things, have you verify your address, etc., and you're set up! Online, you can get additional cards for household members.
Fear #2: I'd probably rather use my credit card because I like my AmEx rewards.
Every time you shop, in the store or online, 5% is automatically deducted from your total. Nice! 5% isn't the world's best discount, but it's WAY better than a credit card reward (which is typically 1%).
Fear #3: I don't want an additional line of credit.
This... [trumpets herald great news] is not a line of credit. It is just a link to your checking account. Every time you swipe your debit card, the money comes straight out of checking as if you used your debit card or a check. I repeat: not a line of credit! Just a link to your checking account! Very cool.
Reasons I want to shout from the rooftops that this card is the greatest:
#1: You can use it online! (Great for personal AND gift shopping!) When you shop on Target.com, you always get the 5% discount. PLUS whatever online deals they have (which are frequent). PLUS [here come the trumpets again] FREE SHIPPING!! Plus!! You can return virtually anything to the store. And you don't even need a receipt. For any return—whether you purchased it in the store or online—all they do is scan the item, swipe your debit card, and voila. Returned. Money back in your checking account (or cash in your hand). Couldn't be easier. I have done more and more shopping online since I've had this card—searching out clearance toys and kids' clothes, sales on rugs, furniture, shoes, etc. If I don't like it when it comes, just a simple return to the store. And the shipping was free! And I never had to go shopping! And I got 5% off!
#2: You can (and, by all means, should!) link your card to a school of choice, and for every purchase you make, Target will make a donation to your school. I first got all the information and bit the bullet for this card when Seth's school's PTA encouraged everyone to have one. His elementary school has made thousands and thousands of dollars from families using the REDCard. This is a win-win! (And if you have no school you want to donate to, try Holmes Elementary in San Diego. ;-))
#3: We've always loved Target's pharmacy above all others. They are always super fast and super easy. Their bottles are nicer than others. They add good flavors to kids' syrups and have a nifty bottle—you stick the syringe snugly in the top, turn the bottle upside down, and measure out the medicine. It's great. They also color-code all the medications you receive—a different color for every member of your household. And they send you email alerts when you have a refill waiting. Best pharmacy ever! Now with the debit card, we get an additional little bonus: for every 5 prescriptions we fill at Target, paying with our REDCard, we get a coupon that gives us an additional 5% off (plus the existing 5% for a total of 10%) for one day of shopping.
#4: Ooh, this is a good one.... Since I've had the REDcard, I have not . . . shopped at Walmart. ;-)
Next time you're in Target, take a blank check with you and spend an extra minute or two at the register signing up for one of these cards. You won't regret it.
Friday, March 2
Perfection
"Displace one note, and there would be diminishment. Displace one phrase, and the structure would fall."
Some of my favorite books:
Some of my favorite books:
 |
| Usually printed with the title Peter Pan. |
 |
| When I've read it more recently than The Idiot, I think this is my favorite book ever! But if I've read The Idiot most recently.... Right now, The Plague wins. :-) This book is absolute perfection. |
 |
| This book is not perfection. It has writing issues. But they're forgivable! And the basic form and structure of this book is nothing short of ingenious. I love this book. |
 |
| Perfect book. Beautiful book. (And every Mormon should read this.) |
 |
| Every Mormon should also read this! Also, every other person on the planet. It's only 20 pages, so doable. :) |
 |
| Might be my favorite book ever. |
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| I... love... this... book. |
 |
Fantasy Genius Rewriters
I love to read. Love.
I love to read because I love art—I love to revel in those creations of man that seem to somehow transcend human ability, human comprehension, human beauty.
I love to read because, better than any other art form, writing can show you worlds with which you are totally unfamiliar. Writing can teach you things about mankind you never knew you needed to learn. A genius writer understands people, can create a complex or amazing or beautiful story, and, without having to explicitly state a thesis, teaches you incomprehensible and thought-provoking things about the world.
I love to read.
Which is why I must...give up on best-sellers. Haha!
Really, though, every time (but one!) that I've picked up a popular novel in recent years, I've sworn to never try one again. On my last try, I thought for a good long while about why I don't enjoy them. The perfect explanation came to me in the form of one word: replicatable. Ironic, isn't it, that "replicatable" isn't even a word? "I love words so much that I refuse to read anything that isn't unreplicatable." Hahaha!!
To some is given the gift of writing, to others, the gift to see the gift of great writing. ;-)
My soul is filled by things that cannot be replicated. I love to soak up great art and marvel: "How was this done? How?" Somehow my soul understands that what was done could never have been done by anyone else. Somehow my soul understands that, for a moment, a person's incredible gift tapped into the eternities—something was done that only God could do, but He did it through one of His children. It's too beautiful for words to me. It's my favorite thing people do.
I love to feel like the half-fictional Salieri in Amadeus:
"Displace one note, and there would be diminishment. Displace one phrase, and the structure would fall."
I remember a moment while reading The Last Day of a Man Condemned to Death by Victor Hugo (and thank you, too, great translator :)) when I noticed I wasn't breathing. My goodness, I thought! Those sentences...literally...took my breath away....
I love that feeling. I love to marvel—truly, and with awe, marvel—at great art, maybe especially great writing. I love to feel that it is not replicable. But by contrast, to listen to a work that could have been composed by another, read a book that could have been written by another, watch a production that could have been done by another.... It leaves me cold. No matter how diverting it may have been.
Which is why I always swear I've read my last best-seller. They leave me cold! They leave me needing to read a real book. :)
They all feel soooo . . . replicable. Like another could have written it.
The worst of the worst leave me feeling like I could have written it! Which is the worst feeling of all!
I started playing a game the other day imagining some of these books written by great authors. I had so much fun thinking of it! Here goes with the best-sellers I've read in the last few years:
I might have liked it if...
If the author hadn't reminded us on every stinking page so explicitly: "She was aching for the loss of her child...." Or, "He had given away his baby! And lied about it! And he just couldn't look his wife in the face without his lie haunting him." How stupid do you think I am? You think you had to tell me these are the reasons for the story I'm hearing? And on every other page, at that. BZZZZ!! You're out! Bad writer, bad writer!!
Fantasy genius to rewrite this book: Dostoevsky could have made this super-dark and super-beautiful at the same time. Oh boy, I feel a little awful daring to think of Dostoevsky and this thin story in the same thought. (You have to admit, though...! He'd have made it fascinating! Superbly fascinating.)
I might have liked it if...
I think I did like it. I remember feeling kind of refreshed by it, like the writing was decent and the story sort of compelling. But.... Not a good sign that I can't say more about this book. BZZZ!! You're out! I forgot you within a couple years, which can only mean bad things. (Maybe I should read it again. ;-))
I might have liked it if...
Ok. This book tore me apart. Into little pieces. I curse this author for making me care so much about Clare and Henry. The last few pages...! Ahhh!! Ahhhh!!! It was like I had turned into a glass form of myself, with a little chisel going at me, then WHAM!!! Total destruction when I wasn't even braced for it. Was the writing amazing? No. Was their sex life a leetle too well-described? Probably. But she made me care about those characters. She made me imagine the beauty that would have been my 17-year-old self, or even my current self, being visited by a 50-year-old Matt who has spent his life with me and loves me to the tune of many, many years. She made me ache at the thought of the inevitability of death. She painted as tangible a picture of waiting with hope and also despair as I had ever felt. She created a beautiful couple.
Fantasy genius to rewrite this book: I'm seeing C.S. Lewis making every bit as beautiful a couple, negotiating the complexities of the time travel far better, and all in all making this book incredibly meaningful. Yes. Yes!
I might have liked it if...
Next to Life of Pi, these were the best written! Dean Koontz! Really! Are you shocked I read three Dean Koontz novels? My uncle gave them to me and, surprise, I actually enjoyed them. He's really a great writer, even if these stories weren't going to change the world.
I might have liked it if...
I. Loved. This. Book. This is the one I mentioned—the one best-seller I was so happy to have read. This writing could not be replicated.... His metaphors! Talk about taking my breath away.... He had this amazing ability to make you see exactly what was going on, down to the core of this boy's soul. And even when the ending made me irate and I began to second-guess all the love I'd had in this story's message, I was still in love with this book for how amazing the writing had been. The first section, where he searches out religion, is one of my favorite things I've read. Ever.
I might have liked it if...
If I were reading 1984 instead.
Fantasy genius to rewrite these books: No one. Let's just forget them. (Unlike most books, I actually think this story will work much better as a movie. Might be good! I can't imagine how it won't be the most violent film ever made, though, so still not up my alley.... I have to say, too, that I resent how ridiculously unsafe these books made me feel. Made me want to sleep with my windows closed. Come on! I'd be happy to feel that for a better book, but...aaaahhh!)
I might have liked it if...
If it hadn't been yet another book that spells everything out for you. Newsflash lady writers (it always seems to be the ladies): good writing doesn't need to name everyone's emotions.
Fantasy genius to rewrite this book: L.M. Montgomery, if we still want carefree (I like! That could be amazing!). If we want more sophisticated genius...hmmm.... Charles Dickens?
I might have liked it if...
Eh. Not even worth wondering about.
I might have liked it if... One word!: J. M. Barrie. (Ok, one word plus two initials.) Brilliant!! Can you even begin to imagine the pure delightfulness that would have been this book? I love this idea so much! Did J.M. Barrie ever write about his dog...?! I would need to read that.
I might have liked it if...
If the author were just plain better at writing. The way she switched voices—writing from one character's perspective, then another—just didn't work. (An accent does not a character make.) The way she'd create "suspense" by dangling half-information was just annoying and never enhanced the story. (It was a trick for pure trick's sake. And, boy oh boy, she used it liberally.) I'm sure she thought she was being all profound to leave the story open-ended, too—like the way you talk about a masterpiece leaving you thinking, enhanced by being unresolved. But this story hadn't been good enough for that kind of treatment, and the treatment itself was not even well done. I'm all for an unresolved ending, but this just didn't do it for me.... I felt like she employed all these cliché writing tricks to seem all sophisticated but never pulled it off.
Fantasy genius to rewrite this book: I'm liking the idea of Joseph Conrad on this one. But my original idea of Steinbeck is a goodie.
P.S. Just saw the movie, and I enjoyed it far better than I expected. It is leaps and bounds better than the book. I especially liked that, unlike the book, the hero black ladies—particularly Abilene—maintained ultimate hero status, not so much the white protagonist. Which is how it should be. I mean, come on, Abilene is downright noble. It's offensive to make the white lady THE PROTAGONIST just because she's SOOOOOO amazing that she would TALK to black people, go white lady!! I think the author could have been more successful in the book by making it all from Abilene's perspective or, better yet, 3rd-person omniscient. Or, BEST yet, narrator who turns out at the end to have been Abilene all along.... Hm.
I might have liked it if...
Ok. I admit it! I liked these! Hahahaha!! Surprise of my decade, I tell you. But I found them to be quite fun. (Even if I did overconsume and dream about vampires at my high school for a few weeks afterward....) Not that I'm comparing Stephenie Meyer to the writing greats (nor her editors, who she apparently relied on heavily. Have you seen that unedited Edward book she has online? Beyond terrible! Truly shockingly bad!), but this was not replicable. ;-) She did something no one else could do. The Twilight series is, like it or not, a feat.
Do I really think I'm done with best-sellers? Haha! Somehow they keep finding their way back in my life. But as long as I've got my stack of goodies to go back to for some fresh air afterward, and as long as I can keep playing this fun game of Fantasy Genius Rewriters, I might just survive.... ;-) Haha!
And, who knows.... Maybe another Life of Pi will come along one of these days. Ahhhhh....
I love to read because I love art—I love to revel in those creations of man that seem to somehow transcend human ability, human comprehension, human beauty.
I love to read because, better than any other art form, writing can show you worlds with which you are totally unfamiliar. Writing can teach you things about mankind you never knew you needed to learn. A genius writer understands people, can create a complex or amazing or beautiful story, and, without having to explicitly state a thesis, teaches you incomprehensible and thought-provoking things about the world.
I love to read.
Which is why I must...give up on best-sellers. Haha!
Really, though, every time (but one!) that I've picked up a popular novel in recent years, I've sworn to never try one again. On my last try, I thought for a good long while about why I don't enjoy them. The perfect explanation came to me in the form of one word: replicatable. Ironic, isn't it, that "replicatable" isn't even a word? "I love words so much that I refuse to read anything that isn't unreplicatable." Hahaha!!
To some is given the gift of writing, to others, the gift to see the gift of great writing. ;-)
My soul is filled by things that cannot be replicated. I love to soak up great art and marvel: "How was this done? How?" Somehow my soul understands that what was done could never have been done by anyone else. Somehow my soul understands that, for a moment, a person's incredible gift tapped into the eternities—something was done that only God could do, but He did it through one of His children. It's too beautiful for words to me. It's my favorite thing people do.
I love to feel like the half-fictional Salieri in Amadeus:
"Displace one note, and there would be diminishment. Displace one phrase, and the structure would fall."
I remember a moment while reading The Last Day of a Man Condemned to Death by Victor Hugo (and thank you, too, great translator :)) when I noticed I wasn't breathing. My goodness, I thought! Those sentences...literally...took my breath away....
I love that feeling. I love to marvel—truly, and with awe, marvel—at great art, maybe especially great writing. I love to feel that it is not replicable. But by contrast, to listen to a work that could have been composed by another, read a book that could have been written by another, watch a production that could have been done by another.... It leaves me cold. No matter how diverting it may have been.
Which is why I always swear I've read my last best-seller. They leave me cold! They leave me needing to read a real book. :)
They all feel soooo . . . replicable. Like another could have written it.
The worst of the worst leave me feeling like I could have written it! Which is the worst feeling of all!
I started playing a game the other day imagining some of these books written by great authors. I had so much fun thinking of it! Here goes with the best-sellers I've read in the last few years:
Book: The Memory Keeper's Daughter
Author: Kim Edwards
Synopsis: Doctor lies to wife about their newborn dying when, really, he had given the baby away after noticing she had Down Syndrome. Doctor falls apart because of the lie that eats him all his life. Wife falls apart because of mourning that eats her all her life. Down's baby grows up with nice family.
I might have liked it if...
If the author hadn't reminded us on every stinking page so explicitly: "She was aching for the loss of her child...." Or, "He had given away his baby! And lied about it! And he just couldn't look his wife in the face without his lie haunting him." How stupid do you think I am? You think you had to tell me these are the reasons for the story I'm hearing? And on every other page, at that. BZZZZ!! You're out! Bad writer, bad writer!!
Fantasy genius to rewrite this book: Dostoevsky could have made this super-dark and super-beautiful at the same time. Oh boy, I feel a little awful daring to think of Dostoevsky and this thin story in the same thought. (You have to admit, though...! He'd have made it fascinating! Superbly fascinating.)
Book: My Sister's Keeper
Author: Jodi Piccoult
Synopsis: I don't really remember. Something about a girl being used to help medically treat her dying sister. And some twists and turns...? Something about seizure-sniffing dogs and a whacked-out brother. I actually enjoyed this book but, obviously, it didn't make a lasting impression on me.
I might have liked it if...
I think I did like it. I remember feeling kind of refreshed by it, like the writing was decent and the story sort of compelling. But.... Not a good sign that I can't say more about this book. BZZZ!! You're out! I forgot you within a couple years, which can only mean bad things. (Maybe I should read it again. ;-))
Book: The Time-Traveler's Wife
Author: Audrey Niffenegger
Synopsis: Poor, poor Clare and Henry.... He's in and out of her life by way of involuntary time travel.
I might have liked it if...
Ok. This book tore me apart. Into little pieces. I curse this author for making me care so much about Clare and Henry. The last few pages...! Ahhh!! Ahhhh!!! It was like I had turned into a glass form of myself, with a little chisel going at me, then WHAM!!! Total destruction when I wasn't even braced for it. Was the writing amazing? No. Was their sex life a leetle too well-described? Probably. But she made me care about those characters. She made me imagine the beauty that would have been my 17-year-old self, or even my current self, being visited by a 50-year-old Matt who has spent his life with me and loves me to the tune of many, many years. She made me ache at the thought of the inevitability of death. She painted as tangible a picture of waiting with hope and also despair as I had ever felt. She created a beautiful couple.
Fantasy genius to rewrite this book: I'm seeing C.S. Lewis making every bit as beautiful a couple, negotiating the complexities of the time travel far better, and all in all making this book incredibly meaningful. Yes. Yes!
Book: Life Expectancy
Book: From the Corner of His Eye
Book: Hideaway
Author: Dean Koontz
Synopses: Various intense thriller stories involving such things as: serial killers, boys without eyes who see things, clowns, and so on and so forth. You know. That kind of thing. ;-)
I might have liked it if...
Next to Life of Pi, these were the best written! Dean Koontz! Really! Are you shocked I read three Dean Koontz novels? My uncle gave them to me and, surprise, I actually enjoyed them. He's really a great writer, even if these stories weren't going to change the world.
Book: Life of Pi
Author: Yann Martel
Synopsis: Boy discovers science and religion in most lovely ways. Boy's ship sinks. Boy ends up on small raft with wild animals, surviving on the open sea for many months.
I might have liked it if...
I. Loved. This. Book. This is the one I mentioned—the one best-seller I was so happy to have read. This writing could not be replicated.... His metaphors! Talk about taking my breath away.... He had this amazing ability to make you see exactly what was going on, down to the core of this boy's soul. And even when the ending made me irate and I began to second-guess all the love I'd had in this story's message, I was still in love with this book for how amazing the writing had been. The first section, where he searches out religion, is one of my favorite things I've read. Ever.
Book: The Hunger Games series
Author: Suzanne Collins
Synopsis: Absolutely shameless author thinks she will be clever and give Twilight a 1984 treatment. Or maybe she wanted to give 1984 a Twilight treatment. (She even tries to make her own 1984 vocabulary. Jabberjays? You've got to be kidding me.) Author writes beyond ridiculously for first book, then gets an editor with new money and dramatically improves for the second and third books. (Just one teeny example out of thousands: the author actually used the word "revenge" instead of "avenge." As in: "She needed to revenge her death." Seriously? That's a 4th-grader's mistake. BZZZ!! Ack!! BZZZ!!) Author's improved writing doesn't actually make her idea any less ridiculous or self-indulgently NOT clever. Everything about this series is infuriatingly mediocre (except in those moments when it's downright poor), and it's made all the more infuriating by being such a page-turner! Makes you wonder what the heck is wrong with you that you can't put them down...! Can't! Put them down!
I might have liked it if...
If I were reading 1984 instead.
Fantasy genius to rewrite these books: No one. Let's just forget them. (Unlike most books, I actually think this story will work much better as a movie. Might be good! I can't imagine how it won't be the most violent film ever made, though, so still not up my alley.... I have to say, too, that I resent how ridiculously unsafe these books made me feel. Made me want to sleep with my windows closed. Come on! I'd be happy to feel that for a better book, but...aaaahhh!)
Book: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
Authors: Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows
Synopsis: Um. I just read this not long ago and it's already lost to my memory. Something about World War II fluffiness. (Thought WWII couldn't be fluffy, did you? ;-))
I might have liked it if...
If it hadn't been yet another book that spells everything out for you. Newsflash lady writers (it always seems to be the ladies): good writing doesn't need to name everyone's emotions.
Fantasy genius to rewrite this book: L.M. Montgomery, if we still want carefree (I like! That could be amazing!). If we want more sophisticated genius...hmmm.... Charles Dickens?
Book: Tending Roses
Author: Lisa Wingate
Synopsis: Too boring to remember. Something about a granddaughter and grandma.
I might have liked it if...
Eh. Not even worth wondering about.
Book: Marley and Me
Author: John Grogan
Synopsis: Man loves dog.
I might have liked it if... One word!: J. M. Barrie. (Ok, one word plus two initials.) Brilliant!! Can you even begin to imagine the pure delightfulness that would have been this book? I love this idea so much! Did J.M. Barrie ever write about his dog...?! I would need to read that.
Book: The Help
Author: Kathryn Stockett
Synopsis: It's circa 1964 in Jackson, Mississippi. Hero white lady wants to listen to hero black ladies. They all face wrath.
I might have liked it if...
If the author were just plain better at writing. The way she switched voices—writing from one character's perspective, then another—just didn't work. (An accent does not a character make.) The way she'd create "suspense" by dangling half-information was just annoying and never enhanced the story. (It was a trick for pure trick's sake. And, boy oh boy, she used it liberally.) I'm sure she thought she was being all profound to leave the story open-ended, too—like the way you talk about a masterpiece leaving you thinking, enhanced by being unresolved. But this story hadn't been good enough for that kind of treatment, and the treatment itself was not even well done. I'm all for an unresolved ending, but this just didn't do it for me.... I felt like she employed all these cliché writing tricks to seem all sophisticated but never pulled it off.
Fantasy genius to rewrite this book: I'm liking the idea of Joseph Conrad on this one. But my original idea of Steinbeck is a goodie.
P.S. Just saw the movie, and I enjoyed it far better than I expected. It is leaps and bounds better than the book. I especially liked that, unlike the book, the hero black ladies—particularly Abilene—maintained ultimate hero status, not so much the white protagonist. Which is how it should be. I mean, come on, Abilene is downright noble. It's offensive to make the white lady THE PROTAGONIST just because she's SOOOOOO amazing that she would TALK to black people, go white lady!! I think the author could have been more successful in the book by making it all from Abilene's perspective or, better yet, 3rd-person omniscient. Or, BEST yet, narrator who turns out at the end to have been Abilene all along.... Hm.
Book: Twilight series
Author: Stephenie Meyer
Synopsis: Like you don't already know.... ;-)
I might have liked it if...
Ok. I admit it! I liked these! Hahahaha!! Surprise of my decade, I tell you. But I found them to be quite fun. (Even if I did overconsume and dream about vampires at my high school for a few weeks afterward....) Not that I'm comparing Stephenie Meyer to the writing greats (nor her editors, who she apparently relied on heavily. Have you seen that unedited Edward book she has online? Beyond terrible! Truly shockingly bad!), but this was not replicable. ;-) She did something no one else could do. The Twilight series is, like it or not, a feat.
Do I really think I'm done with best-sellers? Haha! Somehow they keep finding their way back in my life. But as long as I've got my stack of goodies to go back to for some fresh air afterward, and as long as I can keep playing this fun game of Fantasy Genius Rewriters, I might just survive.... ;-) Haha!
And, who knows.... Maybe another Life of Pi will come along one of these days. Ahhhhh....
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