Go Occupy Movement! It's so awful to be in the 99 percent.
I'm in the 99 percent.
Several years ago, our government gave us—flat out handed us—about $150,000 we didn't have, just so Matt could go to medical school. Tuition stunk (thanks CO voters with your dumb Taxpayer Bill of Rights that accidentally bankrupted higher education—oops!) and you can't earn a living while you're a medical student, so we had no hope of starting medical school without serious financial help. We should have scrimped and saved for years and years (and years!) to start on Matt's dream of becoming a doctor, but instead...money just landed in our pockets.
Unfortunately...we have to pay at back! Plus interest that is accruing all these years while we still aren't making much money. Can you believe it? The gall! Handing us money we could have never hoped to accrue on our own, and then expecting us to [gasp!] pay it back? Corrupt, I tell you. Corrupt. Thank you, Occupy Movement, for pointing out that the government sucks for making us pay back money they gave us—thank you for suggesting a mass boycott of loan repayment. "If millions of people refuse to pay, they'll get the message." Oh yes they will.
So, here we are.... Like many of the occupiers, we are saddled with loans, overworked, and underpaid. Paying our dues. (Oh wait.... The occupiers aren't actually overworked, because they don't work at all. Boo hoo hoo, I kept applying for jobs—10 in the last two years!—and I couldn't get one. Boo hoo hoo.)
We are the 99 percent.
We have two cars.
(Did you know in the U.S. there are more cars than drivers? We have an average of more than one car per driving American.)
We have two cell phones. This actually puts us in a stinky minority of the already-stinky 99%, since the average American has more than one cell phone. (There are more active cell phones in the United States than the total population. Even babies? More cell phones per family than there are people...? Wow!)
It is with a certain amount of embarrassment that I admit we have two computers, two iPhones, and an iPad. (The average American will spend over $300 on Apple products this year.)
We have so much stinking money that we even have a tent, and the luxury to go pitch it in the middle of town if we wanted. We could even network with people on our iPhones about the injustices of our 99% position.
I came across an article yesterday about kids in Mali who work in gold mines because their families can't afford to send them to school. (Oh, did I mention that Seth goes to school for free? Awesome teacher, too. We walk to school every day—kids in the double stroller, me with my special walking shoes. Seth brings home books from the library, plays with PE equipment, goes to a computer lab and a music class....) These kids in Mali burn up their lungs with the mercury gas they torch off of the gold (their mothers also help burn off mercury in their yards), or spend long days helping to bring stuff to the surface that was mined deep underground. When they're done, they may or may not get paid. (They also may or may not suffocate underground from toxic gas.) If they are paid, it is sometimes in bags of dirt, with the hope that something of value will be in it.
The most remarkable thing about this story was how unremarkable it was. Much of the world lives with such realities. Most of it, in fact.
Did I say that, with the average American, or even the average poverty-stricken American, we are the 99 percent?
I'm sorry. I meant to say: 99th percentile.
Wednesday, December 7
Tuesday, November 15
Beauty: Part Four
A poll:
Would you use Latisse, a product to make your eyelashes grow longer and thicker, if you knew...
it might turn your light eyes brown!?!!
Permanently!
Of all the potential side-effects I've ever heard, none has frightened me quite like that one. It's so...permanent....
(Hey, Elizabeth, since your driver's license says you have black eyes anyway...! ;-))
I find it hard to imagine how anyone with light eyes could even consider this. Hundreds or thousands of dollars and a possible total eye-color change for...longer eyelashes...? Really? Anyone?
Would you use Latisse, a product to make your eyelashes grow longer and thicker, if you knew...
it might turn your light eyes brown!?!!
Permanently!
Of all the potential side-effects I've ever heard, none has frightened me quite like that one. It's so...permanent....
(Hey, Elizabeth, since your driver's license says you have black eyes anyway...! ;-))
I find it hard to imagine how anyone with light eyes could even consider this. Hundreds or thousands of dollars and a possible total eye-color change for...longer eyelashes...? Really? Anyone?
Thursday, November 10
Beauty: Part Three
Years ago, I read something in an article that amused me so much I've never forgotten it:
"We all know that celebrities are just like the rest of us. Except rich enough to be better looking...."
Hahaha!!
It's so true, though. It's interesting how someone can sell themselves as "hot," or pretty, or handsome, just by dressing the part. But if you actually look at their face.... Totally ordinary. Or maybe even a little strange. Crooked nose? Huge jaw? Everyone has something....! (Almost everyone. ;-))
So, on the opposite side of the spectrum from my previous post, when I enjoyed imagining a world where everyone is willing to just look like their natural ol' selves, there's this great curiosity I've had in what a makeover genius would do to me.
I'm pretty sure there are some amazing-looking people out there who aren't actually any more attractive than I am, and that the same is true of anyone. You see these makeover shows and watch someone who even appears very unattractive suddenly, wow! Pop! And you realize: that skin just needed the right color of hair, and that hair just needed the right conditioner, and that face just needed the right shirt and the right haircut...!
Because people are all beautiful! They really are.
And what would a master eye see for me...?
What would a master colorist do to my hair? Go lighter? Go darker? Go redder? Keep it exactly the same?
What would a master sylist do to my hair? If it would take longer than 10 minutes, they would have to just take my picture for fun and say good-bye to the perfect hairstyle they tried to give me. Haha! (I couldn't stand to waste my day on primping! Been there, done that, but I'm not an insecure teenager anymore. :)) But what would it be? And what would the perfect 10-minute hairstyle be? Could I go even shorter? Would they make me poofier? Sleeker?
What would my perfect outfit be? My perfect shoe? My perfect color palette?
What do I not know I don't know...?
How would I look on Oscar night if I, like a celebrity, were rich enough to be better-looking than my fellow man? (Haha!)
How would Matt look? How would my other family members and friends look? Would we look like ourselves still...? Or would it be a thoroughly unrecognizable crew?
As for the master makeup artist.... I'm not sure they exist. (I always hate the makeup on a makeover. Ick.) But the pioneer of very natural-looking, genius makeup would be interesting to consult!
And as for the plastic surgeon.... Oh please....
"We all know that celebrities are just like the rest of us. Except rich enough to be better looking...."
Hahaha!!
It's so true, though. It's interesting how someone can sell themselves as "hot," or pretty, or handsome, just by dressing the part. But if you actually look at their face.... Totally ordinary. Or maybe even a little strange. Crooked nose? Huge jaw? Everyone has something....! (Almost everyone. ;-))
So, on the opposite side of the spectrum from my previous post, when I enjoyed imagining a world where everyone is willing to just look like their natural ol' selves, there's this great curiosity I've had in what a makeover genius would do to me.
I'm pretty sure there are some amazing-looking people out there who aren't actually any more attractive than I am, and that the same is true of anyone. You see these makeover shows and watch someone who even appears very unattractive suddenly, wow! Pop! And you realize: that skin just needed the right color of hair, and that hair just needed the right conditioner, and that face just needed the right shirt and the right haircut...!
Because people are all beautiful! They really are.
And what would a master eye see for me...?
What would a master colorist do to my hair? Go lighter? Go darker? Go redder? Keep it exactly the same?
What would a master sylist do to my hair? If it would take longer than 10 minutes, they would have to just take my picture for fun and say good-bye to the perfect hairstyle they tried to give me. Haha! (I couldn't stand to waste my day on primping! Been there, done that, but I'm not an insecure teenager anymore. :)) But what would it be? And what would the perfect 10-minute hairstyle be? Could I go even shorter? Would they make me poofier? Sleeker?
What would my perfect outfit be? My perfect shoe? My perfect color palette?
What do I not know I don't know...?
How would I look on Oscar night if I, like a celebrity, were rich enough to be better-looking than my fellow man? (Haha!)
How would Matt look? How would my other family members and friends look? Would we look like ourselves still...? Or would it be a thoroughly unrecognizable crew?
As for the master makeup artist.... I'm not sure they exist. (I always hate the makeup on a makeover. Ick.) But the pioneer of very natural-looking, genius makeup would be interesting to consult!
And as for the plastic surgeon.... Oh please....
Tuesday, November 1
November
I lovvvvvve November. Always have!
Which is why it's so, so fabulous to me that we have ended up with many great memories in November.
Next week, it will be 13 years since Matt and I met. Thirteen years before we met, I was 4 years old! Matt has now been the best thing in my life for most of what I remember of life. (Matt is also the one who taught me that "most" just means "over half," and not "almost all." So, it sounds weird to me, but I'm going with it. Most of my life! :-))
Thirteen years from now.... Seth will be in college! AHHHHH!!!
Suddenly, I wish it felt like much, much longer ago that Matt and I met in that dorm lobby. Maybe Seth will be meeting his future bride in his dorm lobby in 13 years—November 2024. (She better be the best thing ever. :-))
In a few weeks, Maren will be 1! How is it possible? What a perfect Thanksgiving that will be.
And two days after that, Matt and I will have been married for 9 years. Which almost feels like 10. Which means that when we get to 10, I'll be surprised it's only our 10th anniversary because I'll have been thinking all year that we've been married for a decade. ;-)
November is also when we found out we really were going to have Seth, and when we saw him for the first time—a little pole with a beautifully beating heart. One of the best memories of our life. So, even though he had to be born in yucky Summer (boo! ;-)), our first memories of him are also shrouded in the feel of November....
I love the crispness in the air. I love the smell. I love the feel of November.... It truly is a time of Thanks.
Which is why it's so, so fabulous to me that we have ended up with many great memories in November.
Next week, it will be 13 years since Matt and I met. Thirteen years before we met, I was 4 years old! Matt has now been the best thing in my life for most of what I remember of life. (Matt is also the one who taught me that "most" just means "over half," and not "almost all." So, it sounds weird to me, but I'm going with it. Most of my life! :-))
Thirteen years from now.... Seth will be in college! AHHHHH!!!
Suddenly, I wish it felt like much, much longer ago that Matt and I met in that dorm lobby. Maybe Seth will be meeting his future bride in his dorm lobby in 13 years—November 2024. (She better be the best thing ever. :-))
In a few weeks, Maren will be 1! How is it possible? What a perfect Thanksgiving that will be.
And two days after that, Matt and I will have been married for 9 years. Which almost feels like 10. Which means that when we get to 10, I'll be surprised it's only our 10th anniversary because I'll have been thinking all year that we've been married for a decade. ;-)
November is also when we found out we really were going to have Seth, and when we saw him for the first time—a little pole with a beautifully beating heart. One of the best memories of our life. So, even though he had to be born in yucky Summer (boo! ;-)), our first memories of him are also shrouded in the feel of November....
I love the crispness in the air. I love the smell. I love the feel of November.... It truly is a time of Thanks.
Monday, October 24
Post I failed to finish on October 10th.
 |
| Rady Children's! |
Have you ever wondered if your Board-Certified Pediatrician really ever proved s/he knew what s/he was talking about?
Today Matt is spending 10 hours completing a 350-question, 100-page exam. Even though it's a scantron test, this exam still cost $2400! [Seriously?] Yes, seriously.
Those scantron readers must be getting pricey. :-.
The reason this test is 10 hours long, 350 questions, 100 pages and $2400 is presumably because a 4-year degree, the extra work to get accepted to medical school, 4 years of medical school, multiple board tests, and 3 years of residency training to the tune of 60-90 hours a week for minimal pay (while $100-300k of student loans keep racking up interest :-)) just aren't enough. Prove yourself! And why not make it expensive, too? ;-)
Here are some sample questions to marvel at! They ask such specific things about such a wide variety of cases.
A 12-year-old boy has had intermittent heartburn for the past several years. Results of an upper gastrointestinal radiographic series performed at age 11 years were normal. Over the past year, he has had several episodes of "food getting stuck in his chest." The most common foods that cause him difficulty are hot dogs, steak tips, and chicken strips. Physical examination findings are unremarkable. He has been treated with omeprazole for 3 months, but symptoms persist. Of the following, the MOST appropriate next diagnostic test is:
A. esophageal manometry study
B. esophagogastroduodenoscopy with biopsy
C. radionuclide gastric emptying scan
D. serum immunoglobulin E measurement
E. 24-hour esophageal pH probe study
The youngest child in a family affected by neurofibromatosis 1, who is 5 years old, has just had the diagnosis confirmed. You begin the process of counseling the family. Of the following, the MOST accurate statement about potential medical complications in affected children is that they
A. are at increased risk of developing cataracts
B. have an increased incidence of acoustic neuroma
C. have an increased incidence of childhood hypertension
D. should be restricted from contact sports
E. should be screened annually for optic gliomas using computed tomography scan
You are seeing a 12-month-old infant who was born at 26 weeks' gestation. He receives daily diuretics and nasal cannula oxygen with a baseline flow of 0.1 L/min, but his mother called this morning reporting that he had a temperature of 100.5 degrees F, nasal congestion, increased work of breathing with a rapid respiratory rate, and a "wheezing" cough. You instructed her to increase the oxygen flow rate to 0.5 L/min and come directly to the clinic. Physical examination reveals intercostal and subcostal retractions, a respiratory rate of 80 breaths/min, and a prolonged expiratory phase with audible wheezing. A copious, cloudy, green nasal discharge is present. No heart murmur is audible. Pulse oximetry while receiving 0.5 L/min oxygen reveals an oxygen saturation of 85% at rest. Of the following, the BEST explanation for this child's presenting signs of respiratory distress is:
A. acute cor pulmonale
B. foreign body aspiration
C. gastroesophageal reflux
D. lower respiratory tract infection
E. upper respiratory tract infection
[This one KILLS me! Haha! Yes, people ask their pediatricians everything and, guess what? They've studied everything. Haha!]
A mother brings in her 10-year-old daughter and 8-year-old son because they are fighting constantly. The son says he hates having a sister and complains that his parents favor her and give her everything she wants. The daughter says that her brother is spoiled and always touches her stuff. The other is frustrated by their constant fighting and asks for assistance in handling her children. Of the following, the BEST initial guidance for the mother is to
A. explain that this is typical of siblings and she should ignore the behavior
B. give her a list of books on parenting
C. refer her to a behavioral therapist to improve her parenting skills
D. suggest she use behavioral modification techniques to diminish fighting
E. tell her to return in 6 months if the siblings are still fighting
[Hahahahaha!!!!]
Times 100 pages.
I could hyperventilate thinking about how every question may have multiple correct answers but you only get credit for choosing "the MOST appropriate." Flipping through Matt's practice tests, I could also hyperventilate thinking about the sheer breadth of knowledge he's been expected to amass. And he's really done it! It's incredible. To think that when we got married, I actually had more formal education than he did. :) But since then.... Wow. Just look at what he's learned, and how he blesses the lives of children and their families. It's truly amazing, even awe-inspiring to me.
Perhaps even more amazing and awe-inspiring...? He actually thinks my learning in the past decade has kept pace with his! (The ambiguity of it notwithstanding.) HAH! While I'm grateful for that, I also think he's insane. Haha! All joking aside, though, how grateful I am that we intrigue each other, that we married someone comparably intelligent, with complementary interests and interesting thoughts. If we weren't so fascinating to each other, who knows what kind of gap Matt's education and career could have created between us. I'm grateful every day that he is doing something he loves, that he's so darn good at it!, and that our unity continues to be strengthened as we, somehow, do this totally together.
And I'm grateful he finished that board exam!
Post-script: Matt texted me halfway through the exam (lunch break) and lamented that he was so, so BORED. He wanted to die. I thought that was a good sign. Haha! And he came home glad to be done, feeling that out of the 350 questions, there were only 30 he wasn't sure about. So I'd say, unless he grossly misjudged himself, we should expect a passing score! Now we don't have to think about it until . . . Pediatric Cardiology Boards . . . . Oh, it never ends. :)
Our iPhones tell the story of what we do all day....
Me:
 |
| Sending a text to Matt when my eye hurt and he asked to see what it looked like. |
 |
| Goofing off with Seth (and Maren, below). |
 |
| Letting Seth take my picture at the beach. |
Matt:
Ok. Well.... Maybe we don't spend our days so differently after all.
:-)
Friday, October 14
How's THIS for ESP?
A few months ago, I found an old notebook. (Ah, another old notebook story!) This one wasn't as old, and the story isn't as funny as my last old notebook story. But, wow! This one even stunned the unstunnable Matt.
I found notes for a church activity I was planning with birth announcement sketches interspersed throughout. (I guess the activity planning just got too boring at times.) Mostly there were just shapes where text and pictures would go. But on one page, I had actually written what the text might say—a wild prediction to dream, and to see how it would look when we told the world about our baby.
At this point in time, we did know we were having a girl, and were sure of the first name and sort of deciding on her middle name, but we had not talked induction yet. I was due December 7th. (Seth had been born 8 days before his due date, not induced, and had been 6 pounds 3 ounces, 19 3/4 inches.)
Here is what I had jotted down, staring at us from a page of church notes I'd written while pregnant with a baby we hadn't met yet:
We're delighted to announce the birth of our daughter
Maren Elise Williams
November 24, 2010
6 pounds 1 ounce
19 inches
Um....
She was born on November 24, 2010.
She was 6 pounds 0 ounces.
She was 19 inches long.
:-D
It was a fun—and sort of surreal—thing to find. I think I'll add it to the memory of guessing 2:48 pm as her time of birth, realizing at about 2:15 how silly that had been, then surprisingly giving birth to her at 2:45. Three minutes off! If there had been any way to not deliver her in mere seconds, I think I'd have aimed for a perfect prediction on that one. ;-)
How in the world was I so close on all these stats? [Cue Twilight Zone music!] Kind of fun. When Maren dares to think our symbiosis isn't real, I'll whip these out for her. Hahaha!! (Just kidding. ;-))
I found notes for a church activity I was planning with birth announcement sketches interspersed throughout. (I guess the activity planning just got too boring at times.) Mostly there were just shapes where text and pictures would go. But on one page, I had actually written what the text might say—a wild prediction to dream, and to see how it would look when we told the world about our baby.
At this point in time, we did know we were having a girl, and were sure of the first name and sort of deciding on her middle name, but we had not talked induction yet. I was due December 7th. (Seth had been born 8 days before his due date, not induced, and had been 6 pounds 3 ounces, 19 3/4 inches.)
Here is what I had jotted down, staring at us from a page of church notes I'd written while pregnant with a baby we hadn't met yet:
We're delighted to announce the birth of our daughter
Maren Elise Williams
November 24, 2010
6 pounds 1 ounce
19 inches
Um....
She was born on November 24, 2010.
She was 6 pounds 0 ounces.
She was 19 inches long.
:-D
It was a fun—and sort of surreal—thing to find. I think I'll add it to the memory of guessing 2:48 pm as her time of birth, realizing at about 2:15 how silly that had been, then surprisingly giving birth to her at 2:45. Three minutes off! If there had been any way to not deliver her in mere seconds, I think I'd have aimed for a perfect prediction on that one. ;-)
How in the world was I so close on all these stats? [Cue Twilight Zone music!] Kind of fun. When Maren dares to think our symbiosis isn't real, I'll whip these out for her. Hahaha!! (Just kidding. ;-))
Crash and BURN!
When Matt and I got married, the fourth of our nieces and nephews had just been born. Now there are 18 grandkids on the Williams side (two of them aren't quite born yet...but very, very soon!) and 5 on the Golding side.
AND...up until the last couple of months...I'd correctly predicted the sex of every baby but one. What a streak!
Ohhhh...did I crash and burn. Three babies coming, and I missed on two of them. Two! When I'd only missed one in over a dozen babies!
Will I get my groove back? Is my ESP gone forever? Time will tell.... Time will tell.... :)
Here's my record as it currently stands:
Williams #5
AND...up until the last couple of months...I'd correctly predicted the sex of every baby but one. What a streak!
Ohhhh...did I crash and burn. Three babies coming, and I missed on two of them. Two! When I'd only missed one in over a dozen babies!
Will I get my groove back? Is my ESP gone forever? Time will tell.... Time will tell.... :)
Here's my record as it currently stands:
Williams #5
Predicted: Boy
Born: Boy
Williams #6
Predicted: Girl
Born: Girl
Williams #7
Predicted: Girl
Born: Girl
Williams #8
Predicted: Girl
Born: Girl
Williams #9/Golding #1 was Seth!
We had always seen ourselves having a girl first, but, Matt is my witness, my official prediction before the big ultrasound was Boy.
We had always seen ourselves having a girl first, but, Matt is my witness, my official prediction before the big ultrasound was Boy.
Golding #2
Predicted: Boy
Born: Boy
Williams #10
Predicted: Girl
Born: Girl
Williams #11
Predicted: Boy
Born: Boy
Williams #12
No prediction. This awesome boy was adopted. :-)
Williams #13
Predicted: Girl (Even though I think I was the only one guessing girl on this one!)
Born: Girl
Born: Girl
Golding #2
Predicted: Boy
Born: Boy
Williams #14
Predicted: Boy
Born: Boy
Are you amazed yet? (I was!!) At this point, I was 100%! That's incredible, right?
Golding #3
Golding #3
Predicted: Boy
Born: GIRL
Born: GIRL
It was my very first stumble!!
Williams #15/Golding #4 was Maren!
Predicted: Girl
Born: Girl
Born: Girl
And here comes my crash and burn.... The three-at-once predictions I made, but only one of them was correct. I'll put them in the order I discovered the accuracy (or not) of my prediction.
Williams #17
Predicted: Girl
Ultrasound: Girl
Williams #18
Predicted: Girl
Ultrasound: BOY
And shortly after this failed prediction...
Williams #16
Williams #17
Predicted: Girl
Ultrasound: Girl
Williams #18
Predicted: Girl
Ultrasound: BOY
And shortly after this failed prediction...
Williams #16
Predicted: Boy
Born (last month): GIRL
Born (last month): GIRL
I just don't know who I am anymore! Sniff! ;-) Twelve correct in a row, but hardly even beating "The Monkey Score"* in the last five.
I'm so happy to have a new niece, though, and another niece and nephew on the way so soon. Oh, babies...! They're just so lovely. I want to go snuggle them all. Congratulations, babies, and congratulations to our brothers and sisters who get to have them in their families. :-) (I love you, babies! Even though I didn't foresee you! :-))
*My dad had a teacher once who would set his computer to take a test before the students did, randomly choosing answers. He called the result "The Monkey Score" (hahaha!), and anyone who couldn't beat the Monkey Score was properly ridiculed. "You'd have been better off just randomly choosing answers!" I think you also got an auto-F if you couldn't beat the Monkey Score. Or maybe I'm just making that up. I love the story so much that sometimes I find myself thinking, if only for a moment, that my dad once had a teacher who would actually get a monkey to take the test.... Hahaha! Who knows what other details I've added. :-)
Thursday, October 13
Beauty: Part Two
This post is going to going to be based upon thoughts from the minds of two men: my husband and...Drew Carey of all people! They have both said things about beauty that made a great impression on me.
I'm married to a man who loathes—loathes—makeup. Some women keep their hair a certain way because their husbands love it, or wear makeup every day so their husbands are proud of how they look. But if I were to base my appearance on what makes my husband happy, I'd throw out all makeup and never put a drop of it on my face. He hates the stuff. I press him on it sometimes, to see how serious he is.... For instance, we might get all dressed up for an event of some kind and, when he sees me, Matt's eyes might do their twinkle-thing as he comments on how nice I look. And I might say something like: "Now, admit it! Aren't you glad I'm wearing makeup right now?" I really think he means it when he says: "You look great tonight, but you'd look even better with no makeup! What's wrong with just...you?!!"
Sometimes he has almost a visceral reaction talking about makeup, like he's really going to start retching right there. Haha! "Ugh.... It's just so...! Ugh!! A face is beautiful! Skin! It's just skin! Why do people need to make it different colors? Why do people need to plaster it? What's with mascara? That's ridiculous! Tar? On your eyelashes? It looks horrible!! Eyelashes are beautiful! Skin is beautiful! Freckles are beautiful! What's wrong with people?"
And, I have to admit.... His point makes sense to me.
Enough sense, at least, to not wear a lot of makeup. ;-)
I still can't resist sometimes smoothing out my complexion a little. Hehe. I'm sorry, Matt! And if I ever find a great mascara that doesn't look like mascara (I like how it opens up the eyes a little more but I hate the fake-eyelash look!) I'm sure I wouldn't be able stop using it, either. :)
I remember watching an old game show hosted by Drew Carey several years ago, and a question came up for the contestant that somehow referenced "ugly people." Drew Carey said something like: "Oh, but there are no ugly people." Which drew a laugh, even from me. He was chagrined it had come off as a joke, stopped everything for a second, and said something to the tune of: "No, really, this is very important to me. I really feel that every person matters and every person is beautiful. And we're all made differently, but every single person is beautiful. There is no ugly. There are no ugly people."
It was almost a spiritual experience for me (obviously, I remember it years later), and I felt properly ashamed for laughing at the idea at first, for not having had this same conviction myself. I felt the truth of what he was saying.
This goes together with Matt's conviction that, wow, a person is beautiful, just how he or she is! Their skin is beautiful because it's them. Makeup? Makeup isn't them. Their normal skin is them, their normal eyes, their normal eyelashes. Those are all you. I want to see you, not makeup. Keep yourself clean and presentable, definitely. And, sure, tweeze those hairs you hate, get a nice haircut, whatever. But covering up you...? You are more beautiful than you plus paint and tar. You are beautiful.
I believe it's true. I especially believe it's true when I see someone with so much makeup on that she looks un-human. We actually see this with much frequency! (Drawn-on eyebrows really go too far. The "smoky" zombie-raccoon eye. Thick mascara.... I get you, Matt! I get why you'd rather see a human face!) I'm working on believing it to the extent that I really feel totally presentable without a little makeup. We'll see if I ever get there.... But, at least, I can go out without it and still feel confidence in myself. My worth is not in the wow-factor of my appearance. Oh please. If it were, even the most stunningly beautiful person would be of very, very little worth. Infinitesimal worth!
Our Heavenly Father must just want to wrap us all up in his arms sometimes and say, wow, do you even realize how beautiful you are, and what that means...? You are a child of the Almighty God. His child. His creation. His love and His joy. You are His! And yet we wake up every morning to put ourselves on display, to draw some attention to some strange idea of beauty.... A beauty that means nothing—less than nothing—compared with the beauty of being a person, a child of God.
I look at pictures of people in other cultures, and I marvel at the beauty. Why are they so incredibly gorgeous?!! One reason is that, ok, they're actually more gorgeous. ;-) But how beautiful is it to look at people through the lens of unfamiliarity and just see...people. Not a body shape or a makeup style or a hairstyle or a dye job. Just people.... Skin. Smiles. Eyes. Hands.
Imagine how beautiful our own culture might be if we just gloried in our personness, and not in our trophiness. If we "loved the skin we're in." :) If hair extensions and bleach and eye tar and smoky eyes were kaput. If we felt, like Matt and Drew Carey, that, wow, people are beautiful! Just look at them, really look at them. They're beautiful!!
It's nice to imagine.
Pictures:
1) Camille took this in Guatemala. What a lovely woman this is! Would you put botox in this face? Anyone? (If you would, please don't tell me. My opinion of you could never recover, I'm afraid. :))
2) So, so beautiful. I see this photo, and I totally understand why Matt could explode over the thought of makeup. Can you imagine this woman all made up? Foundation all over that skin, eyeliner around those eyes, three shades of eye shadow, two coats of mascara, lip liner on those lips with a glossy stain, eyebrow pencil to fill in a little.... Oh! Oh! I could die over this thought! Look at that lovely, lovely face! Ok, I've never understood Matt better. I get you, Matt! Maybe I will go throw away all my makeup!
3) Ditto. :-) People are beautiful.
I'm married to a man who loathes—loathes—makeup. Some women keep their hair a certain way because their husbands love it, or wear makeup every day so their husbands are proud of how they look. But if I were to base my appearance on what makes my husband happy, I'd throw out all makeup and never put a drop of it on my face. He hates the stuff. I press him on it sometimes, to see how serious he is.... For instance, we might get all dressed up for an event of some kind and, when he sees me, Matt's eyes might do their twinkle-thing as he comments on how nice I look. And I might say something like: "Now, admit it! Aren't you glad I'm wearing makeup right now?" I really think he means it when he says: "You look great tonight, but you'd look even better with no makeup! What's wrong with just...you?!!"
Sometimes he has almost a visceral reaction talking about makeup, like he's really going to start retching right there. Haha! "Ugh.... It's just so...! Ugh!! A face is beautiful! Skin! It's just skin! Why do people need to make it different colors? Why do people need to plaster it? What's with mascara? That's ridiculous! Tar? On your eyelashes? It looks horrible!! Eyelashes are beautiful! Skin is beautiful! Freckles are beautiful! What's wrong with people?"
And, I have to admit.... His point makes sense to me.
Enough sense, at least, to not wear a lot of makeup. ;-)
I still can't resist sometimes smoothing out my complexion a little. Hehe. I'm sorry, Matt! And if I ever find a great mascara that doesn't look like mascara (I like how it opens up the eyes a little more but I hate the fake-eyelash look!) I'm sure I wouldn't be able stop using it, either. :)
I remember watching an old game show hosted by Drew Carey several years ago, and a question came up for the contestant that somehow referenced "ugly people." Drew Carey said something like: "Oh, but there are no ugly people." Which drew a laugh, even from me. He was chagrined it had come off as a joke, stopped everything for a second, and said something to the tune of: "No, really, this is very important to me. I really feel that every person matters and every person is beautiful. And we're all made differently, but every single person is beautiful. There is no ugly. There are no ugly people."
It was almost a spiritual experience for me (obviously, I remember it years later), and I felt properly ashamed for laughing at the idea at first, for not having had this same conviction myself. I felt the truth of what he was saying.
This goes together with Matt's conviction that, wow, a person is beautiful, just how he or she is! Their skin is beautiful because it's them. Makeup? Makeup isn't them. Their normal skin is them, their normal eyes, their normal eyelashes. Those are all you. I want to see you, not makeup. Keep yourself clean and presentable, definitely. And, sure, tweeze those hairs you hate, get a nice haircut, whatever. But covering up you...? You are more beautiful than you plus paint and tar. You are beautiful.
I believe it's true. I especially believe it's true when I see someone with so much makeup on that she looks un-human. We actually see this with much frequency! (Drawn-on eyebrows really go too far. The "smoky" zombie-raccoon eye. Thick mascara.... I get you, Matt! I get why you'd rather see a human face!) I'm working on believing it to the extent that I really feel totally presentable without a little makeup. We'll see if I ever get there.... But, at least, I can go out without it and still feel confidence in myself. My worth is not in the wow-factor of my appearance. Oh please. If it were, even the most stunningly beautiful person would be of very, very little worth. Infinitesimal worth!
Our Heavenly Father must just want to wrap us all up in his arms sometimes and say, wow, do you even realize how beautiful you are, and what that means...? You are a child of the Almighty God. His child. His creation. His love and His joy. You are His! And yet we wake up every morning to put ourselves on display, to draw some attention to some strange idea of beauty.... A beauty that means nothing—less than nothing—compared with the beauty of being a person, a child of God.
I look at pictures of people in other cultures, and I marvel at the beauty. Why are they so incredibly gorgeous?!! One reason is that, ok, they're actually more gorgeous. ;-) But how beautiful is it to look at people through the lens of unfamiliarity and just see...people. Not a body shape or a makeup style or a hairstyle or a dye job. Just people.... Skin. Smiles. Eyes. Hands.
Imagine how beautiful our own culture might be if we just gloried in our personness, and not in our trophiness. If we "loved the skin we're in." :) If hair extensions and bleach and eye tar and smoky eyes were kaput. If we felt, like Matt and Drew Carey, that, wow, people are beautiful! Just look at them, really look at them. They're beautiful!!
It's nice to imagine.
 |
Pictures:
1) Camille took this in Guatemala. What a lovely woman this is! Would you put botox in this face? Anyone? (If you would, please don't tell me. My opinion of you could never recover, I'm afraid. :))
2) So, so beautiful. I see this photo, and I totally understand why Matt could explode over the thought of makeup. Can you imagine this woman all made up? Foundation all over that skin, eyeliner around those eyes, three shades of eye shadow, two coats of mascara, lip liner on those lips with a glossy stain, eyebrow pencil to fill in a little.... Oh! Oh! I could die over this thought! Look at that lovely, lovely face! Ok, I've never understood Matt better. I get you, Matt! Maybe I will go throw away all my makeup!
3) Ditto. :-) People are beautiful.
Thursday, August 18
Dangerous it may be!
I recently found an old spiral-bound notebook from college. It was surreal and kind of fun to flip through it and find notes from lectures I attended in Fall of 1999, remembering some of the classes I enjoyed that semester. Several pages of Hebrew practice! Ahh.... I loved studying Hebrew.
And then....
My eye caught hold of something potentially hilarious. A paper, carefully folded, peeking out of a folder. The exposed part of the paper, as you can see, says: Dangerous it may be
Haha! I was missing some punctuation. What did I mean? Dangerous it may be? I'm intrigued!!
Opening the paper was one of the funnier moments of my life. I SO remember doodling it. And I remember folding it up, and writing the warning: Dangerous! Also, take heed: it MAY be! As in, this is dangerously possible? Also, this is a dangerous thing to contemplate! And a dangerous paper to not burn!!
Inside was my name, doodled over and over and over again, as I often do when I feel like doodling (I have an insatiable desire to doodle sometimes, but no artistic talent, so I sign my name!): Auburn Williams, Auburn Williams, Auburn Williams.
Doesn't sound too funny. Until you remember....
I was not Auburn Williams.
Yet.
I was not even dating a Williams.
I was best friends with a guy named Matt, who now lived in Korea and would not be back until 2001. Was he in love with me? Absolutely. Had he ever admitted it? Hahaha!! Heavens no. Hahaha!! Had we ever flirted with the idea of dating? No. Not at all. His mission took priority over some crush on each other. But, yes, we were the very best of friends, and I loved him, truly deeply loved him. As a friend. ;-)
And to no one but myself, very, very dangerously, I admitted I had perhaps thought of marrying him. And here, 12 years later, tangible proof shows up in an old box of mine with an old folder in it carrying an old piece of paper with the warning: Dangerous it may be!
Well, what might have been now IS. Unless you count my other doodles....
Our children's names!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
First funny thing:
There were five kids.
HAHAHAHA!!
Second funny thing:
I had their ages written down, and a few of them were only 2 years apart. Oh, how my thoughts changed.... :)
Third through seventh funny things:
The names!
HAHAHAHA!!
Here they are, the names of my theoretical future family with my best friend, in order of birth:
Nathaniel Rulon Williams
(We actually hung on to Nathaniel for a middle name for a long while, it being the Hebrew form of the name Matthew. We never wanted to name a kid after Matt, but this seemed like a wonderful little way to go: great meaning, great language, almost named after his Dad but not really. Rulon is Matt's middle name, so I guess Nathaniel Rulon was my nod to Matt in both names. Rulon has never made a name list other than this one! I was surprised to see it here. :))
Emma Caroline Williams
(This is actually quite lovely. Emma dropped from consideration when it popped up to the #1 name in the country, but it's still so cute. And Caroline was on our shortlist of middle names for a long while. If we had had a little girl in 2003, not that we were trying for one that early but we did have a name list going, her name may well have been Mia Caroline Williams! So, I guess it's funny that I thought of a name back then that actually stuck for a little while.)
Christopher Joseph Williams
(Another goodie! Joseph Christopher and Christopher Joseph made it to our shortlist, actually. Not so sure anymore that we like Chris Williams OR Joseph Williams. In theory, yes.... But then we say it and aren't so sure.)
Jonathan Michael Williams
(This name went the way of all the earth long before Matt and I actually got together.)
and, finally, the really terrible one...
Aria Lynn Williams
(HA! What is that?)
Now, those were just the final names! I have other ideas scribbled around! Christopher Michael Williams. Jonathan Michael Williams.
Then I have the heads of the family:
Matthew and Auburn Williams
Dr. Matthew Williams / Auburn Williams
Then I have my signature practiced: Auburn Williams Auburn Williams Auburn Williams
Then I have poor little Aria's ugly signature practiced: Aria Lynn Williams Aria Lynn Williams
Then I have the kids' names all written together, as if to test out: could this be a group?
Nathaniel, Emma, Chris, Jon, Aria
Then, in cursive:
Nathaniel, Emma, Chris, Jon, Aria
I guess I did all this to try to discern or intuit.... Does it feel possible? Hmmm.... Does it?
The answer must have been yes. Because I folded up that paper. Kept it safe. And declared it dangerous. "It may be!!"
And then....
My eye caught hold of something potentially hilarious. A paper, carefully folded, peeking out of a folder. The exposed part of the paper, as you can see, says: Dangerous it may be
Haha! I was missing some punctuation. What did I mean? Dangerous it may be? I'm intrigued!!
Opening the paper was one of the funnier moments of my life. I SO remember doodling it. And I remember folding it up, and writing the warning: Dangerous! Also, take heed: it MAY be! As in, this is dangerously possible? Also, this is a dangerous thing to contemplate! And a dangerous paper to not burn!!
Inside was my name, doodled over and over and over again, as I often do when I feel like doodling (I have an insatiable desire to doodle sometimes, but no artistic talent, so I sign my name!): Auburn Williams, Auburn Williams, Auburn Williams.
Doesn't sound too funny. Until you remember....
I was not Auburn Williams.
Yet.
I was not even dating a Williams.
I was best friends with a guy named Matt, who now lived in Korea and would not be back until 2001. Was he in love with me? Absolutely. Had he ever admitted it? Hahaha!! Heavens no. Hahaha!! Had we ever flirted with the idea of dating? No. Not at all. His mission took priority over some crush on each other. But, yes, we were the very best of friends, and I loved him, truly deeply loved him. As a friend. ;-)
And to no one but myself, very, very dangerously, I admitted I had perhaps thought of marrying him. And here, 12 years later, tangible proof shows up in an old box of mine with an old folder in it carrying an old piece of paper with the warning: Dangerous it may be!
Well, what might have been now IS. Unless you count my other doodles....
Our children's names!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
First funny thing:
There were five kids.
HAHAHAHA!!
Second funny thing:
I had their ages written down, and a few of them were only 2 years apart. Oh, how my thoughts changed.... :)
Third through seventh funny things:
The names!
HAHAHAHA!!
Here they are, the names of my theoretical future family with my best friend, in order of birth:
Nathaniel Rulon Williams
(We actually hung on to Nathaniel for a middle name for a long while, it being the Hebrew form of the name Matthew. We never wanted to name a kid after Matt, but this seemed like a wonderful little way to go: great meaning, great language, almost named after his Dad but not really. Rulon is Matt's middle name, so I guess Nathaniel Rulon was my nod to Matt in both names. Rulon has never made a name list other than this one! I was surprised to see it here. :))
Emma Caroline Williams
(This is actually quite lovely. Emma dropped from consideration when it popped up to the #1 name in the country, but it's still so cute. And Caroline was on our shortlist of middle names for a long while. If we had had a little girl in 2003, not that we were trying for one that early but we did have a name list going, her name may well have been Mia Caroline Williams! So, I guess it's funny that I thought of a name back then that actually stuck for a little while.)
Christopher Joseph Williams
(Another goodie! Joseph Christopher and Christopher Joseph made it to our shortlist, actually. Not so sure anymore that we like Chris Williams OR Joseph Williams. In theory, yes.... But then we say it and aren't so sure.)
Jonathan Michael Williams
(This name went the way of all the earth long before Matt and I actually got together.)
and, finally, the really terrible one...
Aria Lynn Williams
(HA! What is that?)
Now, those were just the final names! I have other ideas scribbled around! Christopher Michael Williams. Jonathan Michael Williams.
Then I have the heads of the family:
Matthew and Auburn Williams
Dr. Matthew Williams / Auburn Williams
Then I have my signature practiced: Auburn Williams Auburn Williams Auburn Williams
Then I have poor little Aria's ugly signature practiced: Aria Lynn Williams Aria Lynn Williams
Then I have the kids' names all written together, as if to test out: could this be a group?
Nathaniel, Emma, Chris, Jon, Aria
Then, in cursive:
Nathaniel, Emma, Chris, Jon, Aria
I guess I did all this to try to discern or intuit.... Does it feel possible? Hmmm.... Does it?
The answer must have been yes. Because I folded up that paper. Kept it safe. And declared it dangerous. "It may be!!"
Sunday, August 14
Beauty: Part One
Marilla: "I little know how you got IN to this FIX, but I demand that you tell me."
Anne: "He positively assured me it would turn my hair a beautiful raven black."
Marilla: "Who did? Who are you talking about?"
Anne [choked up]: "The peddler we met on the road today!" [boo hoo hoo!]
Marilla [trying not to laugh]: "Well. I hope this has opened your eyes...to see where your vanity has taken you...."
Do you know this hilarious scene?! (I hope you do!)
It played itself over and over in my mind as I laid in bed, ironically unable to open my eyes. I kept hearing Marilla's voice: "I hope this has opened your eyes...to see where your vanity has taken you!" And then I'd laugh. Or want to.... Not that I otherwise felt much like laughing.
And in case anyone has ever considered a heavy-duty chemical peel on your face...DON'T! Don't consider it! Consider instead the words: chemical; peel; and, face. Together. It's almost as ridiculous as the words "botulinum" and "on purpose." (But not quite.... I mean, come on. Nothing—nothing—not even a butt implant [haha!], is as ridiculous as the #1 most deadly toxin known to man being injected into your face so you can't move it. Seriously, people....)
When I was offered a free chemical peel, I failed to consider the ridiculousness of the idea. I just heard: free. Hey, why not? It's free! Maybe it's awesome! Sure, it's intentionally burning my face with chemicals. But it's free! Free!!
Here I am at some point during a three-round extravaganza of putting chemicals on my face to BURN my skin off:
Here I am the next day, taking funny pictures to document how incredibly red my face had become:
Little did I know....
I thought it was funny that my face had gotten red [bwahahaha], but day two is when things really blew up. Literally.
I woke up in the night and realized, oh wow, my face is kind of swelling.
Took a bunch of ibuprofen. Went back to sleep.
Woke up in the morning...and....
I could hardly open my eyes!! I looked like a gourd! A pumpkin! Two little beady eyes being swallowed by a tight, oozing mass of tumor!
And to prove just how humble I am, I will let you see.... Hahaha! Mostly because it's hilarious. But make no mistake: it had been much worse than this. Really! Unfortunately, I have no documentation since I couldn't be bothered with things like taking my own picture when my face was folding in on itself. But here I am at about 70% disaster:
Now, let's compare that to the most unflattering photo of normal-me possible. Here I am, normal-ol me, with bed hair, no make-up, even frowning in my sleep and probably drooling, with a cross-eyed baby in my arms. I now see this as gorgeous. ;-)
I spent an entire weekend completely incapacitated, which is just ridiculous. Incapacitated because of a vanity measure? Puh-lease. I could hardly handle the insanity of it! This is what idiots do to themselves, not grounded people like I thought I was. I must be an idiot! What next? A tanning bed? Vacation time for my facelift and lip implant? A four-hour hair treatment every month while Matt gives me my "ME time"? I'm laid up by this?! Hahahahaha! A chemical peel?! Me?!
I spent an entire weekend completely incapacitated, which is just ridiculous. Incapacitated because of a vanity measure? Puh-lease. I could hardly handle the insanity of it! This is what idiots do to themselves, not grounded people like I thought I was. I must be an idiot! What next? A tanning bed? Vacation time for my facelift and lip implant? A four-hour hair treatment every month while Matt gives me my "ME time"? I'm laid up by this?! Hahahahaha! A chemical peel?! Me?!
Luckily, I didn't have church that weekend. (Can you imagine how I'd have scared the kids? Hahahaha!) Also luckily, Matt had the weekend off. Heaven knows how kids can get on for a weekend when their mother has had her face burned off. (Really, I couldn't take care of them!) I laid in bed with cold, wet towels on my face, and a fan blowing on it. Matt got me a prescription for steroids which gave me my eyes back and, eventually, some semblance of cheekbones. Matt would come check on me (or bring me Maren so I could try to blindly feed her before smothering my face in towels again), and I'd just laugh and moan and laugh, and I couldn't stop saying: "this is so dumb!! This is SO dumb, Matt!"
Do you need to see the picture again to remember just how dumb it was? Haha! Laid up in bed for two days! Couldn't open my eyes! I mean, this is how life goes when something bad happens to you, not when you VOLUNTARILY burn your face off. On purpose. Douse your face in chemicals so it burns off. Voluntarily. What is that? And why did I do it? (Oh yeah.... Because it was free. Stupid, Auburn! Stupid!) It was comedy of the absurd, if ever I've seen it.
Here. Look at the picture again! Look at it!
Hahahaha!!!
Anyway, no, it wasn't because my skin is sensitive. (It's not, particularly.) It's because it was burned. I burned it. On purpose. With TCA (whatever that is). I burned it on purpose.
I did this because, apparently, it matters how your skin looks. (????)
And here's the point of number one of this installment: It doesn't matter.
It really, really doesn't. It just doesn't matter. Things that do matter? Oh, let's see.... A million things. (Not the least of which is being able to open your eyes! Haha!) How about being comfortable in your own skin, sans beauty treatments? How about being comfortable in your own hair? Your own curves? Your own non-curves?
How about just being clean and presentable, and trying to see yourself the way your Creator does: as infinitely valuable, with not one whit of that value coming from your appearance. Not one tiny whit.
I hope I think of that next time I'm offered a free self-mutilating beauty procedure.
And if I don't, maybe...at the very least...I'll think of this:
Hahahaha!!! (Oh man! This picture is too hilarious, I can hardly stand it! Hahahaha!! It hardly resembles me at all. I honestly wonder if I'd know it was me if I hadn't been there myself! I only wish I'd been able to make it look even more pathetic. I took SO many pictures trying to get the saddest look possible, but this was the funniest I could get. Turns out it's hard to move your face when it's exploding.... ;-))
Thursday, August 4
Meal Planning
I have had the hardest time meal-planning ever since...well, for as long as I've had to! As a college student, it was just so hard to cook well for just myself. Why put the effort into a real meal? After too much cereal, mac and cheese, and grilled cheese sandwiches, my buddies and I found temporary salvation in the world's best dinner club. Woo hoo!! I still miss it, because meal planning is hard. I don't mind thinking up what to eat. I don't mind cooking something to eat. It's the having the right things that gets to me! I just can't stand wandering through a grocery store, trying to pick out the right combination of things to make dinner for a few days. I can't stand writing down a week's worth of ideas and buying a gazillion things. And I just don't have the time to coordinate recipes that have similar ingredients.
Enter: E-Mealz!
I think I like it, people. Lots of different meal plan options. (Low-fat, low-carb, vegetarian, gluten-free, etc.) Super-cheap. Every week, you get a meal plan with a grocery list. All the meals can be prepared in half-an-hour or less! Easy recipes. Tasty. Easy to scratch off ingredients from your grocery list if you nix one or two of the meals (they label all ingredients by meal). The grocery list even comes organized by aisle. With links to coupons. You can even sign up for a Walmart plan, or a Ralphs plan, or other grocery stores, and the recipes will be coordinated with the specials the grocery store is having that week. Holy cow, they've thought of everything! Try it!
But if you try it, remember two things:
1) Sign up for it by coming back here and clicking my banner link in this post! I get some kind of referral bonus. :)
2) Use the coupon code: dave
I think this may be my salvation. Liking it so far!
Enter: E-Mealz!
I think I like it, people. Lots of different meal plan options. (Low-fat, low-carb, vegetarian, gluten-free, etc.) Super-cheap. Every week, you get a meal plan with a grocery list. All the meals can be prepared in half-an-hour or less! Easy recipes. Tasty. Easy to scratch off ingredients from your grocery list if you nix one or two of the meals (they label all ingredients by meal). The grocery list even comes organized by aisle. With links to coupons. You can even sign up for a Walmart plan, or a Ralphs plan, or other grocery stores, and the recipes will be coordinated with the specials the grocery store is having that week. Holy cow, they've thought of everything! Try it!
But if you try it, remember two things:
1) Sign up for it by coming back here and clicking my banner link in this post! I get some kind of referral bonus. :)
2) Use the coupon code: dave
I think this may be my salvation. Liking it so far!
Wednesday, August 3
Cheers
Lately, I've been watching a lot of Cheers. I watched Cheers as a young'n, and then got into it again when Seth was a newborn (Matt and I would watch it way late at night when it was on during Seth's wakeful times :)). Now it's on Netflix. But this time around, something has changed. Sam Malone has just...
reminded me of...
who? Who is it?
When it came to me, I couldn't stop laughing. Hahahaha!!!
Carbon copies. Even down to the hair obsession. :-) Aw.... Mitt and Sam....
reminded me of...
who? Who is it?
When it came to me, I couldn't stop laughing. Hahahaha!!!
Carbon copies. Even down to the hair obsession. :-) Aw.... Mitt and Sam....
Saturday, June 18
Monday, April 25
Ode to Saturday
Almost exactly one year ago (4/10/10) I started to write this blog post. I guess I didn't publish it because I thought people would misunderstand me as a ... murmurer. Oooh. I can see the stone-casting now! "Murmurer! Murmurer!!" Haha! But after the day I had yesterday—Easter Sunday!—I remembered my little song, found it amongst my gazillions of unpublished drafts, and decided I couldn't wait to share it with the world. Here's what I had written last year:
In my church, there's a cute little kid song about Saturday—all about how it's a special day to get ready for Sunday. Remember being in college (I hardly do! That was a decade ago now!) and watching the clock tick away on Sunday night . . . ? The knot of dread in your stomach just getting tighter and tighter . . . .
In my church, there's a cute little kid song about Saturday—all about how it's a special day to get ready for Sunday. Remember being in college (I hardly do! That was a decade ago now!) and watching the clock tick away on Sunday night . . . ? The knot of dread in your stomach just getting tighter and tighter . . . .
It's almost Monday.
Oh no, it's getting closer!
Ah, see.... I feel that still. But on a different day. And I've rewritten the Saturday song to pay homage to the most depressing night of my week. :)
Ahem. [cue best singing voice]
Saturday is a terrible day
It's the day I wish weren't almost Sunday....
I go to bed. And I set my alarm. [AHH!!] And I dream about skipping the whole day.
I think about meetings. And meetings.... And meetings.
And I wish I could just have a sleeeeeep day!
Then I fend off the tears and hope to not hear [my alarm, that is]
And really look forward to Monnnn-day!
Like it? :-)
I have to say that I do find it more than a little bit ironic that I consider Monday through Saturday my six days of rest compared to Sunday. Haha! Oh man.... Sundays....
So I don't really have to set my alarm anymore (thank goodness!), since we have church at the blessed hour of 1:00. (Yes, we love late church! Yes, it seems to take up the whole day. Yes, we love that. Lazy peaceful morning, go to church, lazy peaceful dinner and the day is done. We dread the years of 9:00 church. With fear and loathing...!) Last year my meetings started at 7:00 am! Boo. This year is much better. But here is how my day went yesterday. On Easter Sunday, mind you. Easter Sunday! I mean, come on people, this is a family day!
9:00 am—Seth wakes up and comes into our room. "Mom! Dad! You've got to see this! Something amazing!" Haha! Love it.
We go out and enjoy Easter baskets and such. Make some breakfast. Fun times, fun times.
Then, I was off!
10:45 am—Leave for church. Strategizing with Matt about Maren's feeding schedule....
11:00 am—Meeting. On Easter Sunday? Yes.
12:05 pm—Meeting ends. I rush over to the chapel to practice with the choir who were in desperate need of a pianist today. Thank my lucky stars that they managed to find an organist for sacrament meeting, or that would have been me! Oh man. That would have been crazy.
12:40—Texting Matt, realizing I'm not getting any spare time to get home before church like I had hoped.
12:45—Choir practice ends. People beg me to play prelude on the organ since the organist isn't there yet. "My baby is on her way starving and needs to be nursed, I'm so sorry!" I incite panic attacks in old ladies. I feel very bad about this.
12:50—Family shows up. I nurse Maren, glad that Matt got there early enough that I could be sure to have myself put back together before I have to run up and play the piano.
1:00—Church starts. In the next hour or so, I go up to play the piano three or four times. Up, down, up down. Each time, I wonder if I had actually put my clothes back in the right places after nursing Maren. I'm sure lots of you moms can relate! :)
2:00—I realize that I'm going to have to do Sharing Time (two 15-minute lessons) in primary (the kids' two hours of sunday school) at the last minute. Don't have anything prepared.
2:20—Go to primary. One of my counselors (the two ladies who run the primary with me) is home with sick kids. The other has hurt her back and needs to sit. Send the secretary to check on all the classes to make sure we have teachers, and I run the whole meeting by myself. Still not sure what I'll do for Sharing Time.... This goes until 4:00 pm.
4:00 pm—Church is over, and now a million people want to talk with me, addressing various issues in cub scouts and primary, kid issues, etc. I'm always grateful to hear from people. I just feel a little nutso trying to keep track of who all is trying to get my attention, where my stuff is while the missionaries are taking apart the room for a baptism, where Seth is and what Matt's plan is, is everything getting back in the closet and to the library, etc., etc.
4:30 pm—I stay behind for a kid's baptism (sweetest boy ever!) while Matt takes kids home. Coordinating feeding times again.... :-)
5:15 pm—I leave the building! To go have Easter Dinner with my family! Who I've really gotten to enjoy today. [Sarcasm intended.] I realize my wicked headache and body aches are partially because I never had time to get a drink all day and I'm disastrously dehydrated! Also, starting to get sick!
Oh, Saturday! I love my song for you. :-)
And, oh Monday! Monday, Monday!!! "Rainy days and Mondays...." The BEST!!! :-D
I feel another song rewrite coming on.... ;-)
So I don't really have to set my alarm anymore (thank goodness!), since we have church at the blessed hour of 1:00. (Yes, we love late church! Yes, it seems to take up the whole day. Yes, we love that. Lazy peaceful morning, go to church, lazy peaceful dinner and the day is done. We dread the years of 9:00 church. With fear and loathing...!) Last year my meetings started at 7:00 am! Boo. This year is much better. But here is how my day went yesterday. On Easter Sunday, mind you. Easter Sunday! I mean, come on people, this is a family day!
9:00 am—Seth wakes up and comes into our room. "Mom! Dad! You've got to see this! Something amazing!" Haha! Love it.
We go out and enjoy Easter baskets and such. Make some breakfast. Fun times, fun times.
Then, I was off!
10:45 am—Leave for church. Strategizing with Matt about Maren's feeding schedule....
11:00 am—Meeting. On Easter Sunday? Yes.
12:05 pm—Meeting ends. I rush over to the chapel to practice with the choir who were in desperate need of a pianist today. Thank my lucky stars that they managed to find an organist for sacrament meeting, or that would have been me! Oh man. That would have been crazy.
12:40—Texting Matt, realizing I'm not getting any spare time to get home before church like I had hoped.
12:45—Choir practice ends. People beg me to play prelude on the organ since the organist isn't there yet. "My baby is on her way starving and needs to be nursed, I'm so sorry!" I incite panic attacks in old ladies. I feel very bad about this.
12:50—Family shows up. I nurse Maren, glad that Matt got there early enough that I could be sure to have myself put back together before I have to run up and play the piano.
1:00—Church starts. In the next hour or so, I go up to play the piano three or four times. Up, down, up down. Each time, I wonder if I had actually put my clothes back in the right places after nursing Maren. I'm sure lots of you moms can relate! :)
2:00—I realize that I'm going to have to do Sharing Time (two 15-minute lessons) in primary (the kids' two hours of sunday school) at the last minute. Don't have anything prepared.
2:20—Go to primary. One of my counselors (the two ladies who run the primary with me) is home with sick kids. The other has hurt her back and needs to sit. Send the secretary to check on all the classes to make sure we have teachers, and I run the whole meeting by myself. Still not sure what I'll do for Sharing Time.... This goes until 4:00 pm.
4:00 pm—Church is over, and now a million people want to talk with me, addressing various issues in cub scouts and primary, kid issues, etc. I'm always grateful to hear from people. I just feel a little nutso trying to keep track of who all is trying to get my attention, where my stuff is while the missionaries are taking apart the room for a baptism, where Seth is and what Matt's plan is, is everything getting back in the closet and to the library, etc., etc.
4:30 pm—I stay behind for a kid's baptism (sweetest boy ever!) while Matt takes kids home. Coordinating feeding times again.... :-)
5:15 pm—I leave the building! To go have Easter Dinner with my family! Who I've really gotten to enjoy today. [Sarcasm intended.] I realize my wicked headache and body aches are partially because I never had time to get a drink all day and I'm disastrously dehydrated! Also, starting to get sick!
Oh, Saturday! I love my song for you. :-)
And, oh Monday! Monday, Monday!!! "Rainy days and Mondays...." The BEST!!! :-D
I feel another song rewrite coming on.... ;-)
Friday, April 22
Thursday, April 21
Nostalgia: Part Three
Thought I'd round things out with some fun pictures of Matt. I wish I'd known this kid! Sometimes I wonder what kind of friends we'd have been if we'd known each other since we were tiny little kids.... :-)
 |
| Seth's Dad. :-) He was probably running around singing The Imperial March incessantly, too. :-) |
 |
| After being complimented on my eyelashes my whole life, I never imagined I'd get married and be totally upstaged by my husband's. He HATES 'em! Always getting stuck in his eye! :-) |
 |
| Hahaha! This picture kills me. That little girl! So proud of herself. And Matt, sooooo miserable to be paired with her. Hahahaha!! Have you ever seen a funnier pair? It's so classic Matt. :-) |
 |
| Whenever I see Matt with Brian—whether they're enjoying or harassing each other :)—I feel like, oh! Seth just has to have a brother someday! Some days lately, Seth and Maren feel like a forever team, just the two of them. Time will tell.... But I love this picture. |
 |
| Hands down, my favorite, favorite picture of Matt EVER. He still has those eye crinkles when he smiles—I've always loved them. Such a twinkle when he's delighted! When I see this photo, I think, ah.... Maybe we don't change that much. I never knew this little boy, but this photo is 100% my Matthew. Love it. Love him.... :-) |
Nostalgia: Part Two
And do you think my mom looks at pictures like these and feels a pang of sorrow for a little girl all grown up...? These scenes could almost be from another universe to me—like Seth's and Maren's kid pictures will be to them someday—but I bet to my parents, it feels like just a blink away. Just a blink, and then it was gone!
I remember thinking about Seth when he was two or three that, wow, he's such a complete person to us. We know him inside and out. He's whole and amazing and full. But this...this is a him he'll never know! Strange, isn't it...? The other day he couldn't remember something I thought we had just barely done together (it had actually been a year ago...) and it was this little stab to my heart. Ouch! Luckily, as Matt always says, yes, he keeps growing, but he keeps getting more and more great.
Maybe my parents think the same about me.... ;-)
(And, yes, in case you were wondering.... Maren does indeed look exactly like me! It's weird! But fun, I guess. Especially for my parents who, yes, do miss their little girl, but suddenly have her anew. She does have different eyebrows! Proof she's not actually my clone....)
Wednesday, April 20
Nostalgia
Do you ever feel nostalgic for something before it's even past...? The second I saw this photo, I knew it would make me insanely sad-happy one day.
Oh, man! Someday I'll look at that, and that little boy will be gone! All gone! He'll be having kids of his own, working some grown-up job, and will hardly remember that he was ever this little bundle of cuteness. But right now, this photo is just sooooo him. You just have to soak it up, every moment.
When I was in the hospital with Maren, I remember sniffing her little head, and holding her close—feeling how that is to hold a newborn and look into those dark newborn eyes. I remembered how I learned with Seth that the newborn phase is gone in mere days. Why hadn't anyone told me? Seth was five days old, and already so different.
I sat there with Maren saying to myself, enjoy this! Enjoy this! Soak up the present.
Sure enough, that's just a memory now. And the cuteness that she is now will be a memory later. Enjoy every moment....
Oh, man! Someday I'll look at that, and that little boy will be gone! All gone! He'll be having kids of his own, working some grown-up job, and will hardly remember that he was ever this little bundle of cuteness. But right now, this photo is just sooooo him. You just have to soak it up, every moment.
When I was in the hospital with Maren, I remember sniffing her little head, and holding her close—feeling how that is to hold a newborn and look into those dark newborn eyes. I remembered how I learned with Seth that the newborn phase is gone in mere days. Why hadn't anyone told me? Seth was five days old, and already so different.
I sat there with Maren saying to myself, enjoy this! Enjoy this! Soak up the present.
Sure enough, that's just a memory now. And the cuteness that she is now will be a memory later. Enjoy every moment....
Last week:
Tuesday, March 29
Funny Drawing
So Matt and I taught preschool yesterday (always a bonus when Matt can teach with me :)) and had a really funny moment—a moment when we realized, again, that our kid is just plain hilarious. (Well, to us, at least! ;-)) The topic I picked for my rotation this time around is: my mouth. My three lesson days are the sub-themes: teeth and dental hygiene, nutrition, and communication. Yesterday we started with teeth. We busted out big ol' butcher paper and traced the kids with the thought that they'll decorate these drawings throughout the lessons. Step one, yesterday: draw your face on there, and don't forget your mouth and teeth!
Here were the first drawings we saw:
Then we look over at Seth as he pops his marker cap back on and proudly exclaims: "There! My face looks ALL done...!"
:-D
Hahaha!
Here were the first drawings we saw:
Then we look over at Seth as he pops his marker cap back on and proudly exclaims: "There! My face looks ALL done...!"
:-D
Hahaha!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)