Is it becoming a habit of me to blog at the end of the month, just so that I can clock in at least one entry for that month? Speaks volume about the author doesn't it? Haha.
Rightfully speaking I should have put in more effort in recording down the events that happened this month, because this is one very important month in my life: graduation from university and transition into working life. Unfortunately, the entire month has been quite uneventful.
The first three days were spent attending an orientation program organized by the company. I was initially nervous about the teambuilding games that were to be held on the first day; they sounded like school orientation. Thankfully the games, professionally organized by a company, were way better than I thought.
The following two days were spent listening to two motivational speakers lecturing us on how to make the best out of our working lives. Frankly speaking, I was skeptical of such things. One speaker carried out an activity to make us remind ourselves our five greatest moments in our lives to make us more positive, and the result was meh. The speaker went around asking everyone how we felt after the activity. I managed to mutter a 'happy', which the speaker could immediately tell I wasn't because the pokerface expression was all over my face. The truth is I did not have enough sleep and I was tired.
The same speaker also got me to sit in front of the entire group to let everyone guess the colour I was thinking of, by looking at my body language. He guessed wrongly -.-
My take is that while body language might indeed give some clues away, there are many more factors that affect how a person behaves. Being in a group where I only know the members for three days, I was naturally more defensive towards expressing my thoughts, what's more when I know there are twenty pairs of eyes staring at me! But know me for a year or two and I don't think you need to read my body language to know what I am up to; I will probably have already told you myself ;)
Fourth day onwards, and I'm on my job officially.
Work has been okay I guess; been completing minor tasks while learning at the same time, things that I could and should have done while I was still in school. When I get stuck, I alternate between trying to figure it out for myself, or asking really dumb questions. Oh well.
My colleagues are all nice people, but I feel I haven't exactly gotten myself accepted into their clique yet. The main reason is probably because I am of a different nationality. While my Chinese isn't that bad, their accent and slang sometimes make it difficult for me to understand what they are saying. The fact that I am slow to warm up to strangers is not helping matters too.
My direct superior also did not really set any target or deadlines for me too, so I have no idea whether I'm doing ok, or too slow, or what. I appreciate the freedom, but given that I am in my three month probation period, it might help if I get some feedback.
I shall stop here for now, hopefully I can come back with more next week during that long holiday.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Sunday, June 30, 2013
a cumulative update
Oh well I didn't blog much again this month. I guess the motivation to blog isn't there when one has no reader to blog to, although I wouldn't feel comfortable if too many people read this in the first place.
Aright that is just an excuse. I'm just too lazy to do so. Ha.
So yes, I was supposed to talk about Taiwan. Actually the photos are already all up on my Google+ account, and my few close friends have at least seen some of them. Given that they are probably the very same ones who might still be bothered to come here, blogging anything about Taiwan is equivalent to showing them the same photos a second time. Not to mention, most of them are themselves frequent visitors to Taiwan, so they need no introduction to the places I went to.
On the other hand, during our planning stage we had stumbled upon several blogs that detailed their respective trips to different parts of Taiwan, and some of the information they provided were of great help to us. If all of them had the same mindset as me, then nobody would have blogged about Taiwan. Who knows, someday some stranger might chance upon this place too, and my rambling might be of useful help to him or her.
In conclusion, I will blog about my trip to Taiwan, when Iam not lazy have the motivation to. Haha.
Come Monday I will be starting work. I have been trying not to say too much about my upcoming job, because I have friends around me who do not have jobs yet despite their impressive results, while I practically had mine given to me in spite of my lousy grades, so I'm a little ashamed about it. Yes I have a three month probation period to survive first, but it probably beats staying at home.
I'm nervous about my new job, nervous about how I will perform, nervous about how others will think I will perform, nervous about whether I will screw things up and get myself and others into trouble. No amount of words of encouragement or comfort will help, so don't bother giving. I have to be inside settled down and being part of the team before I become sane again. I guess part of the nervousness comes from the fact that it is a huge change in my life, as if its a completely different phase (oh wait, it actually is). I am resistant to change, and change wrecks my nerves upside down. Yet change is the only constant.
A couple of people have asked whether this is what I want to do. I replied them (which is honestly my answer) that I am not sure and I just take anything that comes along first. A more complete answer, in addition to that, is that beggars can't be choosers. Its a little sad that having already lived for a quarter of a century I am still unsure of what I want, but unfortunately that is what it is. There are some issues bugging me which I need to settle first before I can answer that million dollar question. The big issue is of course money.
Hot on the heels of my new job are the letters notifying me of all the tuition loans that I need to repay. The first letter has already arrived, stating an amount of $16,844 if I were to repay before the interest kicks in. A second letter telling me to repay $21,996 should arrive sooner or later. A long time ago my mother had offered to repay all the money first, and I repay my mother instead so as to avoid paying interest. However since then we have not talked about this again, and I am a little uncomfortable bringing this up. Either way, I have to repay someone.
Still on the topic of money, but casting the net wider, is the issue of supporting my family. My parents are old and suffer from the usual problems associated with the aged. My mother wanted to resign on the very day I start work, as her legs hurt badly from all the walking and shuttling between two hospitals, but she realised that she has to give a month notice in advance. My father, on the other hand, just had an operation, although he seemed to have pretty much recovered. Did I mention that my brother is next to useless?
With all that in mind, I feel like the burden of supporting the family is going to rest heavily on me. More than that, I hope that my parents can lead more comfortable lives than now. Which is why getting a new air conditioning unit is high up on my wishlist. And a smartphone for my mother. And a new sofa to replace the current one that is threatening to fall apart.
As you can see, money is very important to me now, much as I really don't want to become a slave to it. Yes I have heard enough about those talks that tell us to follow our passion and trust that the money will come in eventually. Well do you want to help me tell the banks that?
Therefore, at this point of time, I think I will gladly take up any job that comes along. I'm fine with this new job frankly speaking, because the position is the same as my appointment during National Service, though the job scope will probably be a little different. I just hope I can adapt quickly to it, and that I don't act like a complete idiot inside.
One question you might have for me, "If I am desperate for money, why didn't I give tuition like what many undergraduates do?" Well my answer is confidence, or rather the lack of it. I don't feel like I am qualified enough to teach, and I certainly don't want to further screw up some poor student's already screwed up results. Moreover I have this reluctance towards offering money for knowledge, for I am a believer of free access to knowledge.
I won't blame you if you want to say that I am lazy and I am just finding some really lame excuses for myself. I do feel pretty ashamed of myself when I could go to the United States for student exchange and to Taiwan for a graduation trip when there are students who do not have the capability to do so and worse still, have to support themselves financially. You know what, I know I am a damn fortunate person, and that is why I try not to complain too much.
In other news, I bought myself a new pair of spectacles, because the old pair is already pretty much broken, and Company of Heroes through Steam. See what I mean?
I have one last day of freedom, before work kicks in. May I survive.
Aright that is just an excuse. I'm just too lazy to do so. Ha.
So yes, I was supposed to talk about Taiwan. Actually the photos are already all up on my Google+ account, and my few close friends have at least seen some of them. Given that they are probably the very same ones who might still be bothered to come here, blogging anything about Taiwan is equivalent to showing them the same photos a second time. Not to mention, most of them are themselves frequent visitors to Taiwan, so they need no introduction to the places I went to.
On the other hand, during our planning stage we had stumbled upon several blogs that detailed their respective trips to different parts of Taiwan, and some of the information they provided were of great help to us. If all of them had the same mindset as me, then nobody would have blogged about Taiwan. Who knows, someday some stranger might chance upon this place too, and my rambling might be of useful help to him or her.
In conclusion, I will blog about my trip to Taiwan, when I
Come Monday I will be starting work. I have been trying not to say too much about my upcoming job, because I have friends around me who do not have jobs yet despite their impressive results, while I practically had mine given to me in spite of my lousy grades, so I'm a little ashamed about it. Yes I have a three month probation period to survive first, but it probably beats staying at home.
I'm nervous about my new job, nervous about how I will perform, nervous about how others will think I will perform, nervous about whether I will screw things up and get myself and others into trouble. No amount of words of encouragement or comfort will help, so don't bother giving. I have to be inside settled down and being part of the team before I become sane again. I guess part of the nervousness comes from the fact that it is a huge change in my life, as if its a completely different phase (oh wait, it actually is). I am resistant to change, and change wrecks my nerves upside down. Yet change is the only constant.
A couple of people have asked whether this is what I want to do. I replied them (which is honestly my answer) that I am not sure and I just take anything that comes along first. A more complete answer, in addition to that, is that beggars can't be choosers. Its a little sad that having already lived for a quarter of a century I am still unsure of what I want, but unfortunately that is what it is. There are some issues bugging me which I need to settle first before I can answer that million dollar question. The big issue is of course money.
Hot on the heels of my new job are the letters notifying me of all the tuition loans that I need to repay. The first letter has already arrived, stating an amount of $16,844 if I were to repay before the interest kicks in. A second letter telling me to repay $21,996 should arrive sooner or later. A long time ago my mother had offered to repay all the money first, and I repay my mother instead so as to avoid paying interest. However since then we have not talked about this again, and I am a little uncomfortable bringing this up. Either way, I have to repay someone.
Still on the topic of money, but casting the net wider, is the issue of supporting my family. My parents are old and suffer from the usual problems associated with the aged. My mother wanted to resign on the very day I start work, as her legs hurt badly from all the walking and shuttling between two hospitals, but she realised that she has to give a month notice in advance. My father, on the other hand, just had an operation, although he seemed to have pretty much recovered. Did I mention that my brother is next to useless?
With all that in mind, I feel like the burden of supporting the family is going to rest heavily on me. More than that, I hope that my parents can lead more comfortable lives than now. Which is why getting a new air conditioning unit is high up on my wishlist. And a smartphone for my mother. And a new sofa to replace the current one that is threatening to fall apart.
As you can see, money is very important to me now, much as I really don't want to become a slave to it. Yes I have heard enough about those talks that tell us to follow our passion and trust that the money will come in eventually. Well do you want to help me tell the banks that?
Therefore, at this point of time, I think I will gladly take up any job that comes along. I'm fine with this new job frankly speaking, because the position is the same as my appointment during National Service, though the job scope will probably be a little different. I just hope I can adapt quickly to it, and that I don't act like a complete idiot inside.
One question you might have for me, "If I am desperate for money, why didn't I give tuition like what many undergraduates do?" Well my answer is confidence, or rather the lack of it. I don't feel like I am qualified enough to teach, and I certainly don't want to further screw up some poor student's already screwed up results. Moreover I have this reluctance towards offering money for knowledge, for I am a believer of free access to knowledge.
I won't blame you if you want to say that I am lazy and I am just finding some really lame excuses for myself. I do feel pretty ashamed of myself when I could go to the United States for student exchange and to Taiwan for a graduation trip when there are students who do not have the capability to do so and worse still, have to support themselves financially. You know what, I know I am a damn fortunate person, and that is why I try not to complain too much.
In other news, I bought myself a new pair of spectacles, because the old pair is already pretty much broken, and Company of Heroes through Steam. See what I mean?
I have one last day of freedom, before work kicks in. May I survive.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
revival
First and foremost, apologies yet again for not keeping this blog updated. Procrastination was half the reason why, and reluctance made up the other half. Truth be told, I didn't enjoy my last semester in university at all, but I was quite unwilling to say too much about it, preferring to keep to myself instead, which meant that I have nothing much to share here. Thankfully, the semester is over, and I have graduated.
Like many other graduating students, I went on a graduation trip with a few close friends after the examinations. We were all pretty much broke from our respective student exchange programs to the States and Europe, so we picked a destination that is cheap and close to home - Taiwan.
For my three friends, it was their first time there, while this was my second time. I fell in love with this beautiful island when I was there in 2008, and ever since then I have been wanting to go back again. However, I never had the chance to do so, while friends around me went there trip after trip, year after year, and I could only look on with envy. Finally my chance came, and I must say, my impression of the island has not changed one bit from 2008. If anything, I now have more admiration and respect for the people there.
Photos and more thoughts to come soon after I sort them out. Struggling to keep my eyes open now.
Like many other graduating students, I went on a graduation trip with a few close friends after the examinations. We were all pretty much broke from our respective student exchange programs to the States and Europe, so we picked a destination that is cheap and close to home - Taiwan.
For my three friends, it was their first time there, while this was my second time. I fell in love with this beautiful island when I was there in 2008, and ever since then I have been wanting to go back again. However, I never had the chance to do so, while friends around me went there trip after trip, year after year, and I could only look on with envy. Finally my chance came, and I must say, my impression of the island has not changed one bit from 2008. If anything, I now have more admiration and respect for the people there.
Photos and more thoughts to come soon after I sort them out. Struggling to keep my eyes open now.
Monday, February 11, 2013
chinese new year 2013
Its almost 3am in the morning but I don't feel like sleeping yet, so I am here showing some tender loving care to my somewhat neglected blog haha.
While Chinese New Year has never been anything exciting for me, I still look forward to it; it always feels more like a 'new year' than the Gregorian counterpart. Perhaps because of the strong traditions and cultures that come attached with the Chinese New Year, the whole atmosphere seems happier.
This year my mother decided that she didn't want to cook for reunion dinner, so we took up a reunion dinner package at a coffee shop opposite my house, therefore making this the first time in years my family had a proper reunion dinner on the eve of the Chinese New Year.
The dinner went okay I guess, but when you have a family that doesn't talk much to each other, you get more or less the same scenario at the dining table.
This year I took time out to visit Chinatown again to soak myself in the atmosphere. I first visited it two years back, and this year things hadn't really changed. In fact some of the stalls were selling the same things at the same place. The atmosphere was still great nonetheless.
A stage was set up in the area too, with nightly performances leading up to the Eve. The audience seemed to be made up mostly of elderly residents living near the area, with a very small handful of curious tourists. I guess most of us weren't really interested in the performances.
Yesterday was Day 1 of Chinese New Year, and as per tradition we visited our aunt who lived a block away from us. The day ended with my cousins and their families visiting us.
That's all from me for now. Happy Chinese New Year to all!
While Chinese New Year has never been anything exciting for me, I still look forward to it; it always feels more like a 'new year' than the Gregorian counterpart. Perhaps because of the strong traditions and cultures that come attached with the Chinese New Year, the whole atmosphere seems happier.
This year my mother decided that she didn't want to cook for reunion dinner, so we took up a reunion dinner package at a coffee shop opposite my house, therefore making this the first time in years my family had a proper reunion dinner on the eve of the Chinese New Year.
 |
| The package was a little expensive, probably because all the other coffee shops in the area were closed and they were enjoying a monopoly. Food wasn't too bad though. |
This year I took time out to visit Chinatown again to soak myself in the atmosphere. I first visited it two years back, and this year things hadn't really changed. In fact some of the stalls were selling the same things at the same place. The atmosphere was still great nonetheless.
 |
| The only photo I took, at the Buddha Tooth Relic Temple. |
Yesterday was Day 1 of Chinese New Year, and as per tradition we visited our aunt who lived a block away from us. The day ended with my cousins and their families visiting us.
That's all from me for now. Happy Chinese New Year to all!
Monday, January 14, 2013
the last semester
The start of this year also marks the start of my last semester in university - assuming I pass everything haha. Besides my final year project, which I'm quite behind in terms of progress, I'm also taking three modules, PC1144 Physics IV, CS3211 Parallel and Concurrent Programming and CS4222 Wireless Computing and Sensor Networks. PC1144 and CS3211 are required modules, while CS4222 is optional for me.
Hopefully this semester will turn out fine.
Hopefully this semester will turn out fine.
Tuesday, January 01, 2013
happy 2013
Its the beginning of another year!
Last year's countdown marked the first time ever in my life I celebrated the beginning of a new year in another country - South Korea. Memories are a little fuzzy now (signs that I'm getting old?); fortunately I have recorded everything in this old trusty blog of mine. I can, however, still remember standing, with my friend, together with huge crowds of South Koreans in front of their Bosingak and waiting for the bell to ring exactly at midnight, before getting slightly disappointed when there were no fireworks. Haha.
This year things are back to normal, just like previous years where I started the day wondering whether I should move my ass down to Marina Bay to catch the fireworks and immerse myself in the atmosphere, before deciding that it was not worth all the trouble for that eight minutes of fireworks. Maybe if I have a better camera the trouble will be more worth it.
The year 2012 will go down in history as one of the highlights of my life, where I spent the longest duration of time in an overseas country. Overall the student exchange has been a great experience, although I think it could have been better.
Like the previous two years, I wished for myself to be happy, and it stays the same as the new year beckons.
This year will mark the year I complete my university studies, and (hopefully) step out into the working world. I have plenty of doubts and uncertainties about myself right now, hopefully I can resolve them soon enough.
Happy new year!
Last year's countdown marked the first time ever in my life I celebrated the beginning of a new year in another country - South Korea. Memories are a little fuzzy now (signs that I'm getting old?); fortunately I have recorded everything in this old trusty blog of mine. I can, however, still remember standing, with my friend, together with huge crowds of South Koreans in front of their Bosingak and waiting for the bell to ring exactly at midnight, before getting slightly disappointed when there were no fireworks. Haha.
This year things are back to normal, just like previous years where I started the day wondering whether I should move my ass down to Marina Bay to catch the fireworks and immerse myself in the atmosphere, before deciding that it was not worth all the trouble for that eight minutes of fireworks. Maybe if I have a better camera the trouble will be more worth it.
The year 2012 will go down in history as one of the highlights of my life, where I spent the longest duration of time in an overseas country. Overall the student exchange has been a great experience, although I think it could have been better.
Like the previous two years, I wished for myself to be happy, and it stays the same as the new year beckons.
This year will mark the year I complete my university studies, and (hopefully) step out into the working world. I have plenty of doubts and uncertainties about myself right now, hopefully I can resolve them soon enough.
Happy new year!
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