Books to buy this coming break.

Newly arrived books! Three wonderful Wordsworth classics.

Homer's Illiad
Homer's Oddesey
Virgil's Aneied

All unabridged versions, which I dont intend to read. You see, sometimes I buy books that I read a few pages and thats it. I dont intend to read it again. Future books to purchase include.

Thomas Hobbe's Leviathan or political philosophies and such
Confucius analects (the smaller hardcover version)
Taoist classic - Tao Te Ching

They are going to cost MUCH more than those 3 wordsworth classics in fact, those three wordsworth classics put together is actually about 3/5 of the price of a normal book I will buy(philosophy) from any respected bookstore. Going to stamp them with my seal and they will be up for borrowing.

Krishna and Arjuna

"I consider the Yogi-devotee - who lovingly contemplates on Me with supreme faith, and whose mind is ever absorbed in Me - to be the best of all the Yogis. After attaining Me, the great souls do not incur rebirth in this miserable transitory world, because they have attained the highest perfection.... those who, renouncing all actions in Me, and regarding Me as the Supreme, worship Me... For those whose thoughts have entered into Me, I am soon the deliverer from the ocean of death and transmigration, Arjuna.

Keep your mind on Me alone, your intellect on Me. Thus you shall dwell in Me hereafter. And he who serves Me with the yoga of unswerving devotion, transcending these qualities [binary opposites, like good and evil, pain and pleasure] is ready for liberation in Brahman. Fix your mind on Me, be devoted to Me, offer service to Me, bow down to Me, and you shall certainly reach Me. I promise you because you are My very dear friend." Setting aside all meritorious deeds (Dharma), just surrender completely to My will (with firm faith and loving contemplation). I shall liberate you from all sins. Do not fear."

Lord Krishna's advice to Arjuna
I had taken it from wikipedia....

At my crossroads.

I do have a condition. Yes and only my closest friends know about it. It interferes with everything in the world as people with this condition will know how the world reacts to us. It holds the reasons to why I do things in a specific manner, I do things restrictedly and why I only want to read my books and stay at home.

Sometimes ... We are what we are, determined by our genes. If I had a chance to remove this condition and do all the things other people are doing, I would.... but then, since its not going to go away scientifically speaking, I think I only have to tell those that are immediately going to get affected by it.

Been thinking about the past, the future, sometimes, I do not understand why people react in a certain way to certain situations. Sometimes, I wish for things to be different ... sometimes I just wish I can just melt away into nature ... Being just what I am from the beginning forever and ever, and nobody will disturb me. Just me alone in this world... that is my wish.

Creepy stress

Im so stressed that I cannot sleep at night, even when im tired. I never felt like this before... I now take 1 hour to fall asleep turning around in my bed. Of course there is a quick way to fall asleep which is keep reading books and stuff and sooner or later you just go into dreamland.

Talking about dreams, mine have began to be erractic and I no longer see any significant events in my dreams to take note of.

Today's paper was wonderful, I could do most (almost all) of the questions. Rather satisfied but now regret the crappy papers during ICA tests.

I will also be composing a new song for the piano this coming holidays. All my fans(or spies), this is the first time since Purry's prelude that a new piece is going to be written. This new song will encompass romantic styles with music box type of feel. Its rather interesting because all my compositions are rather baroque in nature and modernistic, well, except for War Romance which was romantic. Romantic music is something I do not usually feel, because maybe I have not experienced that type of romance yet. At least for baroque styles, all I need to do is to give a proud, majesty and grand style or for certain allemandes a sombre mood which I am very good and proficent in.



No longer playing that violin now ... soon to take my piano picture.

Forget to add im hungry too at this point. I wish someone cooked something for me to eat.

Rather nervous. Joys after the exams.

In view of tomorrow's or today's (if you consider 12 midnight as the next day)paper, I have only up to 7 parts confidence (thats 70%). I wish to do well for all my papers of course and at least pass mathematics! At least there is only Biostatistics for next year which is great and after that NO MORE MATHS!

After the whole massacre of exams, it will be a time for relaxation and I will be leaving for overseas to ROC (taiwan)in late march.

We as the family were considering some choices, was the usual Japan option, the not so usual Moscow Russia option, the rather interesting Italy option and the Taiwan option. I think Moscow is out as my parent's health is my greatest concern, I believe that they could not take the intense biting cold of Russian winters. Japan option was the plan too, since it can coincide with the sakura blossoms which I had never seen before even in my numerous trips there. Italy was another option but was subsequently striked out due to the avian influenza spreading in europe. After all considerations we decided on Taiwan as all of us never been there before and the weather is not that bad there too.

March is a time for catching up with friends too. Like the person who owe me my book (you know who you are) and whom I ought to spend more time with. Considering dinner somewhere will be good but we shall discuss that, if that is still viable. And also with shaobaba who wanted to get together with a group of his friends to record some wacky music... Got to practice my piano too as that is my main instrument.

A Legend spawned from a seed.

There was once a seed in which will cause the surrounding crops to grow. And it is in this seed that the essence of the river of light is sealed in.

If this seed is buried in the ground, the surrounding crops fluorishes for a year. This is known as a goodbye harvest, in return, it takes the life of the people who benefited from it. This seed can save 1000s from starvation at the cost of 1 man's life. Though planting this seed in itself is wrong as you know that it will cost a life to save many ... still it does take a life.

In a village in the mountains somewhere... There are farms and crops whom fluorishes when there is a natural disaster saving people from starvation. But they fear that someone will die from the curse that is ... the goodbye harvest.
.....

In a particular year, the years harvest was talked about forever. At that time a strange legend was again born. That year, the goodbye harvests ended... that rice that was made, revived a man and made him immortal. It was said he would come back from time to time and tell people new ways to cultivate the lands.

I always liked folk stories....

Kirin, a girl with no eyes and a river of light.

Last night I had the strangest dream. The most magnificent creature I ever seen appeared in my dream which occured when I feel asleep shortly after meditations. The creature was no doubt a traditional Qilin (kirin in jap.). It had the most beautiful body of green scales, it was covered with fur on its head like a horse mane, and it also had fur on its hooves and upper leg areas. It looked right at me with those eyes so piercing and displayed its most magnificent form, feathers bright saffron in colour started to form around its head. To me it was some sort of lion dance you see at chinese new year, absolutely magnificent... somehow the atmosphere was stormy literally it was a setting in the air with storm clouds swirling around me.

In traditional chinese mythology, the Qilin manifests in many ways and for many reasons. "It is said to appear only in areas ruled by a wise and benevolent leader (some say even if this area is only a house). It is normally gentle but can become fierce if a pure person is threatened by a sinner, spouting flames from its mouth and exercising other fearsome powers that vary from story to story."

Another dream I had (I usually have multiple dreams in one night) involves a girl with no eyes and a river of light. This I have to say must be influenced by myself.

If one were to close their own eyelids one can notice that you arent actually closing your own eyes but you are still looking at your eyelids! I think many of my classmates know that I dont actually sleep with my eyes closed, this is because one can close their "inner eyelids". I have a habit of doing that. It is also according to some eastern traditions closing this inner eyelids for too long makes the eyes unable to function and dissapear ... eyeless like a horror movie. I saw the exact same girl standing in my dream with no eyes on a opposite river of light. The river was something I havent seen before... it was bright yet pleasant, emitting a audible hum noise. I wasnt intimidated by the girl or the river, I do hope I can explore that place again ...

Dreams, what do they actually mean?

And therefore ...

If I had yet to notice my usage of the words therefore therefore therefore. I use them when im having presentations and I use them for daily interactions with other people.

I have yet to study for my tests and examinations. And things are getting worse for mathematics, piling up as usual. I need to pass this crappy mathematics no matter what,
although it seems to be of no use to keep this wishful thought. My finger for slammed by the window of my room and I cant play my piano properly and cannot play my cello properly. Among other things that still concern me is chemistry, how in the world can I do well in it. I studied so hard for it and I got a pathetic 28/50, absolutely useless.

And finally, I still want to play "Tatakau Mono Tachi" on the piano.

Things that can break a man.

Everything is the basis of words, what can break a man afterall is a irrelevant form of ideas. I had never before said such things as I had never before felt this way. The absolute irritatnt will be when people not only fail to see things logically the worst is that they assume everything and jump from one subject to another filled with lies. I just had enough of this as even my tolerance cannot hold this constant attack on my human psyche.

Sometimes I fear to have relationships with women, why? It is because they are so absolutely unpredictable. One day they say this, the other day they say that and worst of all they seem to assume everything and make things so complicated. A word becomes a full blown quarrel, A single sentence is the subject of trying to break the whole family. I just had enough of all that, all these just seem to be my true inner feelings. All this while I have not been able to have relationships with this gender is because of this exact problem, I cannot understand them.