On the other hand...

You know, I do like biotechnology, and the eventual idea of modifying things to suit us better... However, I still am reminded that I am not going to excel much in that field as effortlessly as I can excel in the field of linguistics, ideas, creativity and stuff.
I am just not as effecient when it comes to rigid thinking, logic and procedures ... I just want to flaunt all the rules and procedures to my liking and advantage, change all methods to something creative and entertaining. Oh well, not that im forced or anything ... im just in quite a dilema, there are so many things I want to do, so many things to achieve. Maybe, In the end still, I would end up as a measly musician ... no future ... playing on the roadside ... with a yamaha keyboard.

Now to think of it, I had actually aquired many skills over the years... and I like to aquire more, maybe when I go university, I will decide to do something about this dilema then rather than worry about it now.

Moral Choice

In view of the degress of personal morality, I have decided to review and learn my old ethics. Manupilation people aint that fun at all, I grow tired of having to control every single action, word, though, subconcious activity of others in my social circle. As much as I could wish for a change, change comes at a price. What am I going to give up for such a change?

Simple question requires a simpler answer ... Pride. Its high time I threw away my pride being the all knowing leader of a pack, a mastermind of sorts to become a more ... not so active role. Even now, I feel the urge to make changes even though I am not in leadership position, the beckoning urge to tell people what to do is right or wrong. So I say to you, I will only give advise only when its at the most dangerous critical point, all other advise will be given only if asked. I say to myself too, that I should not be responsible if my information could save someonelse but I did not divulge, it was because the person did not ask. Technically, I still feel strange in my course of study ... everyone seems to like science but I art certainly aint liking it much at all.

My dreams of my younger days were actually becoming dust, I wanted to be a lawyer, a businessman, a power politican perhaps. None had prepared me for my fate as it is now. As fate intervenes, just as the jews/christians say god does, the muslims say allah does ... life is changed everyday. But ultimately the key to everyone's answer is choice, the key that opens or closes doors is "choice". That is the ultimate word. A wrong turn in the wrong direction doesn't mean point of no return, take every wrong turn as a challenge, a wrong footing as an learning adventure. I can say to you: The world is nothing but under your feet, and destiny exists only in the palm of your hand.

Gauss Seidel.

If I had a time machine, First I will go back in time, erase all names of emeperors of all civilisation to my name, Shaun Ngang the I all the way to whatever number. Then I would kill archimedes, phythagoras and friends. Then I will destroy Gauss Seidel Iteration method once and for all. I cannot understand, why I could not get the answer ... disgusting gauss seidel method used by computers! Why do we need to learn such a method after all, its all computers!

Im having odd dreams too. Dreams about things so far far far far far far far far far far far far far away.

Magiclean Mop

I need the mop, I want the mop. I need to clean the floor and bleach the tiles. I also want to wipe clean my tables and shelves. I also need to change my chimer(for my clock), the pendulum also seems to be slower.

Magical Technology

In my dreams ... Especially last night, it was all about magic. Not really harry potter but a more complex kind. My dreams sometimes involve foreign languages, these special set of dreams were in ancient romanian, and in my dreams I have to tune my translator to romanian to translate it into comprehensible words.

Here starts the description of my dream last night --- In my dream, it was a barren dark brown rock valley, the date I say around 10 years after this era, was a dark bleak world. There are villians after something, a technological advantage of some sort used by my group. My group was a troupe of travelling musicians/violinists. I was captured behind electrical gate with my friends seperated from me on the other side of the gate. This is where it gets rather itneresting, I put out my hand and spoke "spell". then it activated some mechanism to cause a sphere of radiating colourless(like heat waves) energy to appear in my hand. I proceeded to write the word fireball in the language onto the sphere to activate it, and POOF, one small compact fireball! Then I threw it at the gate, the gate was destroyed.

It startled the guards of course who wanted to come destroy me, and at this moment I started again, "spell" I said quickly. Trying to write as fast as I could in the language of the magic, I failed... then suddenly my friends came and rescued me. These friends of mine were even more fantastic, they did not even say "spell", they just used their hand gestures and a flood of watery wave like pattern flooded the guards. It wasnt water, it was some sort of magical energy that can flood like water but not wet. We escaped with our violins ... through a turrent made of stone bricks and to a wooden floored hall. Here I was awake.

I say the technology was music they were after, these badguys wanted our music technology.

Prepmaths ... I hate it but Thank you.

Inspired to study hard after my rather expected predicted failure at my post test attempt. Well just got to say, feeling rather inferior(rare for me), but GLORY ON THE HORIZON, the end is only the end when I die physically, limitbreak not reached yet.


Current power used < 1%


Getting ready to do my special moves and combo soon.

I just realised....

I just realised I might become something/someone I do not entirely want to be. I still cannot find some extremely powerful winning phrases and sentences to sell my statement.

Disgraceful Mistakes.

Everyone makes mistakes, and I realised no matter what ever you do, you must never make the same mistake twice. I made the mistake of throwing out confucianism ... a mistake that came to haunt me day after day. It was afterall because of confucianism that made me "wake up" and worked hard for my results and where I was now. And it is because of confucianism that I am now still able to live my life with great freedoms (because my parents had always trusted me). I was WRONG to throw away Confucianism, Im going to declare my previous post invalid (but not going to delete it to remind myself) and formally declare that I had indeed made a mistake.

With my new life in polytechnic, I realised again time waits for nobody, though I had made several aquaintances and friends, the social life is not on my top piority list right now. There is just so much beautiful facts and things to learn right now, and so much more other things I had learnt to revise. I admit, I HATE and DETEST mathematics, but in the end, everyone must do it, I have to rightfully embrace everything afterall.

Another comment to make, Everywhere I see ... a "pain of love here" a "why am I alone" here, and so many "I love you but you break my heart" type of nicks and sentences. Simple solution to all you people who fall under this category, Please wake up.
For the gentlemen out there, remember your age, remember your current position and piorities, beware of trends that is deemed popular(some are harmful) and always think things over thrice. Consult your friends, teachers, parents on issues, NEVER leave them aside to grow into something big. It is never too late to turn back, to throw away your old self and declare your mistakes.
To all those ladies who fall under this category also, remember your protocol and decorum(social etiquette and ethics), what a lady should act like and what a lady should do. Never undermine your own position, never try to attract the wrong kind of attention. Also for ladies, refinement is of upmost importance, I believe, if you are not even the prettiest or most model-like looking woman in life... a woman with a GREAT character and ethics, as well as etiquette, is greater than any beautiful(outwardly) woman. To both ladies and gentlemen alike, upmost loyalty and ethics (cant stress this more) is the most important, do not become a prostitute (pardon me) or just somebody cheap. Do not make your body something of a shame, it reflects not only badly on yourself but your parents.

Some people think the old methods like confucianism are obselete ... the only obselete thing is those failing to see the underlying purpose in all those old philosophies. The greatest error is not to make mistakes, the greatest fool is one who makes them and forgets them and commits the same mistakes over and over again.