hellos... HAHAs i'm here to update instead of studying LOLs. anyways thanks for the tons of pple cheering me up regarding the previous entry. i'm really fine ^ ^ so dun worry peeps.

i seriously tink i nid to tell sher everything that had happened. n mayb i will feel much better. but i dun tink i hae the time to go find her and tok to her. so much had happened and at times i feel tat it's suffocating me.

but there i go again... troubling you to console me HAHAHHAs

so it's becos of u i'm stil strong and facing the prob instead of running away frm it. and i'm glad u understood me =)) keke at least u are still there... u understood y i was heartbroken n cried. watevers, im not willing to say out cos it jus makes me wanna cry all over again...

so the ending conclusion will be, if u understand, everything will be alrite =D and mayb i shld tel sher wat happened..

since aft i went to poly i cried in front of others. which is soooooo not me... but yes... pple do things that hurts... but i stil thank them and not blame them bcos bro told me, "dun be upset, bcos when u cry, it helps u to mature and grow up. at the same time, u can tink clearly abt the situation u are in and how to solve them..so thank them.."

at times i really miss 4/10 so much cos they are really a nice bunch of pple ^ ^ and i wonder can i turn back the time and be with them again?? but tat's impossbile. so i will move on...

and i tink tis is the last time, im not gg to complain and cry and watever anymore. bcos i know i hae other frends who are suffering more than i do. so rather den complaining and crying, i would rather use my time to go and console them... so tat all of us would not feel that miserable after all..

so to end everything... im stil glad i get to see pple caring for me... i'm gg to be stronger and stop my whining and yes, it's time to get out and be sociable again =)) mayb from then, pple will start to understand me... and i tink some1 already start to understand me and that person is sher ba... so i'm thankful to her ^ ^ P.S. if u ever read tis entry pls be soooo touched and cry k!!!! HAHAHHAs =D

yea finally there are no more projects ^ ^ i'm free wahahahhs =)) but exams are coming and i have to study... i haven started on anything yet and those who noe me well will nag at me again... jun u are gonna die u noe.. ur memory so lousy stil dun wanna study!!! dun slack already!!! i guess every1 in my class tot i'm a very hardworking person.. but in fact i'm not... HAHAHs... wat i'm gonna say are jus full of da bian..... i jus wanna say how i feel. i'm gonna die soon if i cant find any place for me to vent out all my feelings. so HAHAHHAs actually i'm really fine =)) so to those who care, dun worry i'm fine..cos i'm not good at telling u all wat happened to yup read and understand...

ytd i received a very heart waming and at the same time a heart breaking call frm someone..when he called, i was actually still napping. but i guess he cant take it anymore cos i'm too lazy.. so he woke me up wif sooo many miss calls. actually i knew some1 called me but i cant be bothered to pick up the call. but i can say you are really patient with me HAHAHs you called and called til a person sooo lazy like me cant take u LOLs. anyways yea we chatted lots and yup i noe u are always here for me. u said smthing i will nv ever 4get. u said, "jun ar, no matter wat, u are stil jun" and (sha lalala not willing to say the others out) and u ended with, "u cant afford to lose it again rite?" yup ur words enlightened me, i cant afford to lose it again. if i ever lose it, i dun tink i will be able to stand up again and be the jun u noe. yes. and if i ever lose it again, i will once again lose alot pple who cares for me..i dun wanna face that again.

and u said, "rmb the time i was sooooooo disappointed with you? when u are looking at that person, dun u feel that she's the old you? dun be upset, she will grow and mature and realise everything. it doesnt matter wat happens, because in the end, everything will come back to you, because she will somehow or rather understand y u did that. it's jus that the time is not ripe, so..." and there's silent.... i noe smhow or rather i hurt u again. i dun wish to do that. but i guess there's no choice for me. and yes u are correct, cos i already realised that. and hopefully there's stil time to do smthing abt it.

hate me. scold me. leave me to die. i wont blame u. it will make me feel better. but i noe u will nv do tat to me. and that's y, i feel so guilty. but i cant do anything. i cant do anything for u. except to make u luff when u are dwn and alone. but u mus understand i cant do tat 4ever. i'm already 18. and my promise to u will end here. tis year. and frm then on, if ever i found sm1, i will 4get u.

mayb i'm jus a cold blooded person as many pple will say i am. but watevers, cos yes i noe clearly wat i'm doing. u once told me tat it's hard to understand. but since they dun, jus leave it. cos i'm as complex as you are. yes tat's our common point. mayb tat's y we clicked so well.

and sorry to somebody if u are reading my entry. i didnt contact u to arrange the meeting time 2day bcos im gg thru a hard time. erm i noe i oways dun contact u and everything. but i had oways treated u as my good frend =) a frend for life ^ ^