treating the one who loves you most.

Rahel froze. She was desperately sorry for what she had said. She didn't know where those words had come from. She didn't know that she'd had them in her. But they were out now, and wouldn't go back in. They hung about the red saircase like clerks in a Government office. Some stood, some sat and shivered their legs.

'Rahel,', Ammu said. 'Do you realize what you have done?'

Frightened eyes and a fountain looked back at Ammu.

'It's all right. Don't be scared,' Ammu said. 'Just answer me. Do you'

'What?' Rahel said in the smallest voice she had.

'Realize what you've just done?' Ammu said.

Frightened eyes and a fountain looked back at Ammu.

'D'you know what happens when you hurt people?' Ammu said. 'When you hurt people, they begin to love you less. That's what careless words do. They make people love you a little less.'

A cold moth with unusually dense dorsal tufts landed lightly on Rahel's hearts. Where its icy legs touched her, she got goosebumps. Six goose bumps on her careless heart.

A little less her Ammu loved her...

The moth on Rahel's heart spread its velvet wings, and the chill crept into her bones.

-arundhati roy, the god of small things

what if i could have it my way

"What if she hurt me? What if she left me? What if she died? It would have been the end of me. So I cut it short, before she ever could. And you know what? It was the biggest mistake I ever made. And you're making the same mistake right now, and I'll be goddamned if I'm going to sit by and watch. You've got to risk love Sandra! I didn't and look at me! I'm a lonely ghost of a man. It doesn't mean that you're never going to get hurt, but the pain you feel will never compare to the regret that comes from walking away from love. And from someone who's felt a lot of both trust me, regret beats pain everyday of the week and twice on Sunday. Don't run away. Don't do it. " -from g.o.g.p

i can't sleep. i miss you, more than ever.