just came back after a nice run in Meridian. has been a while since i last run (other than the mandatory runs back at camp) so could feel the effects (aches!!) of it. have been too lazy for my own good!

there are good reasons for the sudden urge to exercise:

1. IPPT is coming in a week's time
2. only managed a "PASS" for my past IPPTs (with standing board jump being the only cause of it, my running and others are fine)
3. to break my usual routine (sleep, eat, anime/manga/music/etc, eat, sleep)
4. clear my head of recent events
   

n here i am now, drinking vitasoy, looking at manga, waiting for the sweat to dry. seriously i need something more productive to do, thats what i was really thinking.

p.s. my dad decided to tidy up some stuff in the house! maybe somehow he found his way to my blog or my mum's nagging finally get to him.

dad has been lazying around the house since the day the factory he's working in has hailed production, not finding anything productive to do. times are hard now and its tough to find a job.

surely he can help out with the house work. perhaps sort through the junk in the house and actually throw things out instead of saying " is bought using money". i mean, come on!!!!! what doesn't cost money? using this theory of his, we should just keep ALL the used batteries and expired foodstuffs since they all were bought by money. he just keep thinking that everything is bought using cash. but what about the value of the junk he keeping? let me tell u what hes refusing to throw out:

• a dirty, at-least-5-years-old 3-seater sofa which the bottom has collapsed and the seating area sunken inwards (can still b sat on, but its not like anyones sitting on it anymore)
  
• 3 or 4 non-functional printers (oldest around 1995)
• 2 blown televisions (one of it a good 8 years old)
• age old computers like a pentium 2 desktop n a pentium 1 laptop
• countless low quality speakers all over the house that are not connected to anything
  
• many other things that will probably make me go on a "throw-them-all-out" mode if i continue thinking

i know some of them can be sold off and gain some cash back. the point is that he doesn't want anything to leave the house. i don't really know what to do now...

the week before (starting 27 April 2009), i kept repeating to myself in my mind that no one can make me feel down, except if i allowed myself to. just like a broken tape player. n this very week i was defeated. can't even remember what made me started on it..

it happened on tuesday. my bunkmates and i, were slacking in bunk, doing our own stuff in the afternoon. we got permission to go for liberty in the evening but i was undecided whether to go or not at that point of time. i went around asking anyone's going to the cookhouse so that they could scan for us. found quak who agreed to go. jotted down the IC numbers of my bunkmates, some other ppl i could not recall and of course, my own.

went looking for quek after that and failed to find him. then i decided not to go liberty cause of the lack of funds and cause of the boredom of just going anywhere. rather stay in with my psp and some snacks, drink and bowl noodles from seng fatt. headed back to my bunk to grab whats left in my wallet before setting off.

just as i opened the door, the metal door (broken off one of the cabinets we have in the bunk) unexpectedly came crashing down right in front of me, one of the edges of the door right in front of my eyes. the door was stored at the balcony. im not sure if i remember wrong or something, but laughter met my ears at this scene. if this is your idea of a prank, its not funny to me. its not gonna be funny to anyone if the sharp edge actually jabbed my eye. i was fucking pissed at this, i tell you. i was thinking how it would turn out if we were to argue about this:

me: what if the sharp edge jabbed my eye?
you guys: you said "what if" what... it never happened..
me: "WHAT IF"?! IF IT HAPPENED THEN ITS TOO LATE!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GONA DO?! FEEL GUILTY AND APOLOGISE?! WHO GONA GET ME A NEW EYE?!

i just kicked the damn door and shouted into the room to scan on ur own. i remember hearing vege said "dun scan den dun scan lo... no biggy..." i didn't go ahead and argue back. i always lose arguments with u guys and would probably lose this one as well. i always in the fucking wrong. it has always been 3+1. im doing u guys a favor by scanning and this is the thanks i got? what the hell have i been to deserve this fucking attitude?! i guess in the end you guys are not feeling guilty or apologetic. theres no reason for you guys to feel that way. you guys are always right.

im not particularly saying that one of you guys did this. im saying ALL THREE OF YOU DID THIS!!!

for the next few day, i was waiting for something to happen. you guys wanna ignore me. its pretty fine with me. what goes around comes around. but what with that attitude yesterday?!
yes, its my fault that i misplace my helmet. i willing to believe that someone actually came into our room to steal it. but what the hell?! i searching high and low like a dog missing his bone and you guys lie comfortable on your beds like nothing happened, even after i told your guys theres only 3 helmets in the balcony!!! and vege, you still got the cheek to joke: "its your problem, not mine". and i thought you are the most sensible of the three. guess im wrong. again.

thanks.. nice knowing you guys

i don't know what made me wanting to start typing something in here again after such a long time. the urge to fill some things in this space has always been there, but forgotten soon afterwards. perhaps its this depressed feeling i'm having right now thats making me wanting to leave a mark somewhere on this (virtual) world.

one of my bunkmates would probably say that line to me: "stop trying to be special; i'm just another person in this vast world" or something along the line. i can't really remember the actual words. Or it could mean something totally different from what i remember and finally interpret as.

my short term memory and my inabilities to fully comprehend what others have said have caused lots of conflicts and misunderstandings with many people, especially my bunkmates back at camp.

lots have happened since my last post 2 years back. recent events has left me feeling depressed. or perhaps i have been running from this feelings all this while and they have finally caught up with me.

Labels: emo

The dreaded letter came... got the results announced this morning while in bed half-wake... courtesy of my brother... "hey kor... u know where u go?" i was like... am i supposed to go somewhere today? "ur going to NDU leh" tot it was a joke until i was shown the letter... roughly scanned through the letter and saw the words "Naval Diving Unit" and "Sembawang"... the news hit me like last time the motorbike hit me while riding... shiok to the balls...

met liew and hong cun to go to beach road to look at fishing rods in the afternoon... guess wat we saw after sitting down at in the train at Pasir Ris?


dam shiok to the balls when i saw this... fate is really messing around with me...

i sort of knew the results before it came... but still cant really faced the truth now... dam sianz...

my friendster
yiJun
jiaMin
junJie