This Christmas time

Every Christmas brings a bit of anxiety for me.  Our current circumstances don't allow for much in the way of gifts and this time sometimes causes me to become a grinch.  It is a struggle to get in the mood and I start to dread all the hustle and bustle of the season.  A few days ago I was subbing at a school and they have a tradition where the entire K through 5th graders meet in the gym and have a sing along.  They have a huge screen on the stage with the words to Christmas songs and everyone sings along.  Being in a sour mood I decided to stay in the classroom and finish a project the teacher needed.  I wasn't in the mood to hear Christmas songs.....let alone sing them. 

It is such a magical time and a time children dream of.  My younger three kids wrote to Santa and received letters back.  Santa really is amazing.  He sure made my kids happy.  I try to get into the spirit of things at home.  We have our tree up and decorated.  We have an amazing village (that my dear sister gave to us) that we have displayed.  Three or four nativity sets sit on our shelves.  Kids are healthy.  Husband is improving and has found some very part time online work.  I was asked to permanent sub at MY FAVORITE elementary school.  I am still plugging along at school (which I almost quit a few weeks ago).  Blessings are all around and how can I not see them?

I find myself complaining and getting bitter at the challenges that sometimes come my way.  But I also realize that my Heavenly Father is completely aware of me and the things I face.  I am so eternally grateful for Him and His sacrifices on my behalf.  His unconditional love helps me to be able to continue to step forward....even when I have no idea what path is best for our family.  I rely on Him to guide and direct me. 

I want to share something that I want my children to always remember.  As they look back on this blog I hope they see how much good there is.  I hope they see the tender mercies of the Lord in the life that we have been blessed with.

So Rachel (11) and Mayah (8) wanted to sing in Sacrament meeting.  About a month ago they asked the person in charge and she said that would be great.  A sweet and very talented girl in our ward helped them practice and she played the piano for them.  Both the girls asked if they could get matching dresses to wear while they sang.  UGH. I knew I would not be able to buy new matching dresses. For ONE:  Rachel is in junior sizes and I don't think I remember seeing junior clothes that match youth sizes.  I told the girls I would look around and see what I could find.  I told them that I would look at Goodwill but wanted them to know that it was probably not going to happen.  But I prayed somehow that I would be able to make this dream of theirs come true.

Don, Zach and I went to Spokane to do some shopping.  It was a blessing too that my little brother and his wife had also gone that day.  They invited us for lunch and even paid the bill.  Such wonderful blessings in our lives. 

It was getting late and we hardly found any Christmas presents.  We decided to go to one more store:  White Elephant.  As we turned the corner I saw a Goodwill.  I told Don I really wanted to go there and just look to see if they had any dresses for the girls.  SO after we went to White Elephant, Don turned around and headed back to the Goodwill. 

I went right to the dress rack.  HOLY COW.  I could not believe my eyes.  There were two matching dresses.  But I figured they wouldn't be the right sizes.  I took the first off the rack and it was a 14.  It looked like it would fit Rachel.  The other was a size 12.  I knew it would be too big for Mayah but figured I could temporarily take it in.  I was SO EXCITED.  I instantly knew this was a tender mercy from my Father in Heaven.  How could that be a coincidence? 

I couldn't wait to get the $3.99 dresses home to show the girls.  They took one look at them and hurried to try them on.  Rachel's fit her perfectly.  Mayah's was too big but with the ties in back we were able to make it look beautiful.  The girls were so happy.  I told them the story and they knew it was a miracle. 

I almost cried.  Even with something so simple (but it was important to me and the girls) the Savior knew I needed this blessing. 

I am just so grateful for all I have.  Yes, we may need to sacrifice and go without but there are so many wonderful things to be grateful for.  There are so many blessings that help me move forward and not give up.  The birth of the Savior is a gift that allows His children to return back into His presence.  And is that not enough?  It is for me.

I believe in miracles

Yesterday I took the kids swimming at the second shoot.  That is what they call a section of the canal.  It is pretty fun. They go under a bridge and it pushes them out.  They love it.  But Mayah pushed off and ended up hitting her head against the metal bridge.  She cried and I could tell it really hurt her.  So we headed home.  She didn't eat dinner and was very tired and fell asleep.  I had her sleep with me.  She woke in the night asking for medicine because she said she had a headache.  And then again this morning she said it was still there and wanted more medicine.  It wasn't going away and it was making me a bit nervous.  She was laying in bed and trying to stay at still as possible as to not jolt her head.  I was thinking about taking her in to the ER.  Head injuries scare me.  I checked her eyes and watched her for concerns and everything seemed fine except the horrible headache.

Then Ethan had a 103.5 fever.  UGH.  I wanted so bad to go to church.  A young man in the ward was going on a mission to Hawaii and I didn't want to miss his farewell. 

I knew what I had to do.  I prayed with as much sincerity as I could possibly have.  I asked for a miracle.  I asked if there was anyway that my children could be healed so that we could attend church.....even if we could just go to Sacrament Meeting.  Then I could bring the kids home.  After I prayed I went out of my room.  When I came back in Mayah said that her headache was pretty much gone.  WHAT?!!!  MIRACLE.  She got up and got some cereal.  Then I asked Ethan how he was feeling and he said he was feeling better.  We took him temperature and it was back in the normal range. 

I immediately got back on my knees and offered a pray of thanks.  I seriously witnessed a miracle.  I didn't think we would be able to go.  Not only that..........the kids felt good enough to stay the whole time at church.  Another wow.  But as soon as Ethan got in the car I knew he was starting to feel yucky again because he gave me his M&M cookie.  Who gives up a yummy cookie just like that if they are well? :)

When we got home we took his temp and it was up again.  That just proves to me that the Lord was very aware of us and answered my prayers.

Don's brother and wife came today.  They are on their way to moving to Wenatchee.  But his brother will be heading to Iraq for a year and his family will be close to his wifes mom.  It was a nice visit and they will be coming back tomorrow for another visit.  SO great that they will be here for Mayah's baptism.

 I love being a mom.  Today was such a great day and my kids were so full of sweetness.  I am thankful for them.

A lady that works at Lakeview called me to let me know that there is an opening.  She wanted to know if I wanted to apply or keep subbing.  UGH.  I am so tired of making decisions.  What do I do?  Sub or permanent job while going to school?  I don't know.  I have all sorts of things floating around in my head that concern other areas too and I just don't know what to do.  I guess I will be back on my knees.  I wonder if the Lord gets tired of hearing my pleas.

I did it

I wasn't going to bike today but after the sun went down and it looked so nice outside I couldn't resist.  Tonight I went 8.27 miles.  I started out exercising with just walking for a couple of weeks.  But I have found that I really really enjoy biking A LOT MORE.

Today I worked on my science homework.  I got my experiment done and can't wait to be done with this class.  I have another task to do in one more class and my Psychology to finish up before Aug. 30. 

I took the kids swimming again.  But that got cut short when Mayah hit her head on the bridge.  Poor girl.  She was in tears and said she had a headache. As soon as we got home she went and laid down on the couch.  She said she was hungry so I made dinner and called everyone to come eat.  She came and sat at the table for a second and decided to head back to the couch.  She fell right to sleep.  It worried me a bit so I checked her eyes with a flashlight and gave her some Ibuprophin.  She has been sleeping every since and I keep checking on her.  She is sleeping with me tonight. 

When I told Ethan to get ready for bed he looked completely drained.  I told him I would give him a piggy back but he just laid there without saying a word.  I went to help him up and he felt really hot.  Took his temp and it was 103.5.  Dang I do not know what is up with my kids and fevers.  Gave him some meds and it came down a bit. 

We went to a few garage sales this morning.  Ethan bought himself a tub of legos for $5.  Pretty good deal.  Got a few small things but nothing too amazing. 

Today is my nieces 8th birthday.  She watches over us from above.  She would have been exactly two weeks younger than Mayah.  Sad.  Mayah told me today that she would have been so fun to play with.  My sister and her husband and two kids sent up 8 ballons for her.  Very cool.

Not exciting

I've gotten back into blogging.  Mostly it is my journal.  I love reading back through my blog and remembering what we did on certain days.  Most of the time our days are not too exciting but it is nice to document our day to day happenings.

Today I took Rachel to Dr. McHargue.  He is so awesome.  And yes he happens to be my brother and a dentist.  He sealed one of her teeth and now she will be getting braces next week.  She is a bit nervous but also excited.  If you know someone who needs an AMAZING dentist call Dr. McHargue at Division Street Dental.  And no I am not being partial here. I really wouldn't give you his name if I didn't feel he was THE BEST.  A family in our ward recently started seeing him and she said she will NEVER go anywhere else.  You won't be disappointed.  He loves what he does and really wants more kids in his office.  He is GREAT with kids.

After we got home Ethan helped me jump the van.  It wouldn't start and I wasn't sure why.  But Ethan held one side of the jumper cables while I hooked them on the car and then he started grandma's car and gave it some gas.  Didn't take long before the van started right up.  Never to young to start teaching kids.  He is 9.

I took Ethan and my mom to watch my nephews basketball game. Ethan LOVES basketball.  He paid very close attention to the score board.  There were about three times when they messed up the score and he knew EVERY SINGLE TIME.  He told me they forgot to give our team their points.  I just thought he was mistaken but sure enough a few minutes later they put the new score up.  Then he told me that they gave our teams points to the other team and they fixed that too.  He was very aware of what was going on.  I can't wait to get him involved in something he really loves.

We did some shopping at Walmart and I got a few school supplies that were on sale.  I love getting a good deal.  Rachel and Mayah had cleaned the house for me and what a blessing it was to come home to a clean home.  

When we got home the kids had been waiting to go swimming so I took them to the big canal and to the second shoot.  They love to swim.  And it is still super hot and going to be for the next week as well.

Rachel didn't swim long.  She got in the car and started crying and talking to me about some personal things and the fear of being made fun of in middle school.  UGH....I knew she must be tired because that is when all of her feelings come out and she ends up in tears.  We talked through it.  I kept praying....hoping I would say the right thing or just know when to listen.  This hormone stuff?  It is all new to me.  My boys didn't do this and I was not like this as a teenager.  I just pray always that I can keep the communication open and be able to say what will help her and be there for her.

When we got back I had her take her temperature and sure enough she has a fever AGAIN.  HMMMMM  I gave her tylenol and it came down.

Kids were all in their beds reading and I took another bike ride tonight.  I tell you.........i love it but the seat on the bike is extremely hard.  Trying to get used to it.  I went 7.4 miles tonight.  My goal is 10 miles soon. 

Gratitude

A couple days ago I took the kids to Safeway to grab a few things.  When we walked past the peaches and apricots they smelled SO YUMMY.  The kids asked me to buy some and I was tempted but hate paying the high prices they want. 

We had a busy day in town shopping and going to the library.  When we got back there was a basket full of apricots on our front porch.  Not sure who they were from but the kids were SO excited.  They jumped out of the car and took them inside and ate a couple.  Then Rachel said, "MOM, do you think someone heard us in the store talking about wanting to buy some apricots?"  FUNNY.  I'm pretty sure no one heard us.

We are very grateful for whoever thought of us and dropped off the fruit that my kids really really wanted. THANKS SO MUCH.

After it cooled down a bit at about 8:30 I took another bike ride.  I went over 6.5 miles this time.  It was so pretty out.  There was a slight sunset and cool breeze.  On the other side the moon was so bright.  It was so refreshing. 

I am so thankful for my blessings.  I am so thankful for my wonderful and caring husband.  He always has my back and is very Christlike.  He is a great example to me.  I am thankful for my five kids.  They bring lots of joy into our home.  I never knew how hard parenting was going to be.  It is a tough job but very rewarding.  I am grateful for the Savior in my life.  At times I feel alone and that my circumstances aren't common and many can't relate to my situation.  And that is when I turn to the Savior.  He has felt it all.  He knows me and how I feel and the pain and sorrow that sometimes come.  I feel so blessed to be able to take all my problems to Him and be able to let Him carry them for me.  I am blessed to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  That is the very thing that keeps me going and has real purpose.  Without the gospel I honestly don't see how I could make it through my trials.  There is so much hope and understanding of so many things.  This life is not the end.  There is so much more.  Having an eternal perspective puts my life into perspective.  I find it such a blessing.  I thank my Heavenly Father every day for what I have.

Ethan ended up with a fever tonight.  Rachel had one yesterday and Mayah the day before that.  Thankfully it only lasts a day.

The boys (Caleb, Zach and Don) are still at the Orchard.  It has been very very hot.  Got close to 100 today.  This weekend is supposed to be 103.  Not looking foward to that.  Doesn't leave me much time to get things done outside. 

Missing my family

I love it when my sister and her family come from Virginia.  It is a blast.  Normally they stay for 3 weeks but this time it was only 2.  The kids are getting older and are involved in sports camps during the summer so they had to make their visit a bit shorter. SNIFF SNIFF.  I can't believe how fast 2 weeks go by when you are having fun.  Why doesn't it go this fast when I am studying?  Oh...studying?  What is that anyway.  I think I only got one assignment done the whole time my sis was here. OH well.  Now I have to get a move on and get some crap done.

The 4th of July is our family reunion time.  Such a busy time but fun too.  LOTS AND LOTS of volleyball. I don't think I have ever played this much volleyball in a row.  PHEW.  My ankles were hurting A LOT.  I think next time I better not go barefoot.  I have always loved volleyball. I used to be good.  I used to have power serves.  But I am getting older, fatter and much slower.  I look at my two nieces....Leila and Sara and want to play just like them.....one day.  One day when I get this lazy body back in shape.  Sara is only 13.  And she can jump serve.  THIRTEEN people.  JUMP SERVE.  Did you hear that?  DANG she is good. 

We BBQ'd pork for pulled pork sandwiches.  We had a family talent show.  We sang, danced and visited.  We stayed up way too late.  Did I say that we also played volleyball?  I am about ready for some more.  But all the players have gone home.  Have to wait till next year.

Today was an awesome day.  The kids and I went over to the canal so they could give the dog a bath.  That black lab really stinks.  They lathered her up with dish soap.  She smells much better.  Then the younger three told me they would clean the whole house if I took them to State Park.  I know.....that isn't the name of it anymore but too bad.  That was the name of the park when I was growing up.  And I won't budge.  I am not going to call it anything different.  I don't care if the name has been changed.  It will always be Stake Park to me.  Who wouldn't take that deal.  I get a clean house AND a chance to play with my kids in the water.  DEAL. 

We spent 3 hours there.  I swam and played football with Ethan.  The girls wanted me to play mermaids.  UMMM how do you do that anyway?  :)  They told me we all had to make up a name for ourselves and it had to be a color.  Mayah was Ruby and I was Lavender and Rachel.....I can't remember.  Then we swam like mermaids.  Have you ever tried to swim like a mermaid?  It isn't easy.  It didn't last long.  It was super fun though.  The kids took a snack to eat and also spent some time building a sand castle while I relaxed on my towel. 

When we got home the kids were exhausted.  After dinner they went to bed and I took a 5 mile bike ride.  I love the cool evenings here.  So beautiful and breezy.  Not too hot....not too cold.  PERFECT.  It was awesome. 

Caleb, Zachary and Don are working in their cousins orchard doing cherries.  The boys are exhausted.  They put in about 10 hours a day and sometimes even go out in the evening to do more work.  I am so proud of them.  They are getting some pretty good compliments.  Such good experience for a 13 and 15 year old. 

Well didn't get much homework done today and now I am too tired to think.  I am just going to call it a night. 

I love summer.....no getting on kids for homework, no early mornings.  JUST SUMMER FUN.

Oh forgot....the neighbor hired the kids to feed their animals and water the flowers while they were gone for a week.  We went down every day and fed the chickens, ducks and geese, rabbits, guinea hens, goat, birds, and fish.  We also cleaned out the water containers and collected eggs.

I could not believe it when every day we went there...one fish had died.  That was four fish.  FOUR.  I couldn't figure out what was going on so I went to Petco to buy some new goldfish to replace the ones that were dying.  They couldn't sell any because they were under observation.  When I talked to my brother about it he said NOT to buy any fish from there.  Something to do with diseases and such and that people are having problems with their fish dying when purchased from Petco.  And that is where she got them.  I still felt bad and we did everything she asked. 

Again perfect opportunity for my kids to have extra experiences.  They loved it and looked forward to it each day.  We love our neighbors too.  They are amazing. 

My sister and her husband and family

 My siblings and mom........just missing my dad.  He is looking down on us for us for sure.

 My brother and his wife and girls.

 The girls with their stars for the 4th of july.  My sister in law did every one of these girls' hair. TALENT.

 Caleb is the only one not here. He wasn't feeling well. But look how cute these teens are. 

 My sister and her two daughters.

 My sister and husband and three of their four kids. These girls are the amazing volleyball players. 

 AND me and my famly.  DANG....look at how tall them boys are.  They are giants.

 My niece and her family

 My cousin and her husband and my uncle Jack and cousin Tom

 My brother and his wife and my niece and her family

 My brother, sister and cousins.....

 Rachel and Jenna singing in the talent show

 My aunt Mary.  I haven't seen her in YEARS.

 Jaeley singing Frozen in the talent show.  This girl has moves and it was HILARIOUS to watch her.

 My niece. This girl can sing.

 My two boys and nephews doing a rap for the talent show.

 Sara and Hailey singing for the talent show and then they made up a cute cute song for grandma.

SO proud

We have been pretty busy lately.  I guess I need to blog more but the days seem to pass so quickly.  Can you believe it is already June?  YIKES.  School gets out on the 11th.  This year, as always, has flown by.  My kids continue to grow and it makes me almost panic.  Pretty soon Caleb will have his license.  Zachary will be turning 14 and will become a Teacher at church.  Rachel enters middle school in the fall.  ACK.  Ethan will be a 4th grader and Mayah.......my baby....will be getting baptized.  OH geez.  Part of me is excited for their new adventures but the other part of me gets sad and doesn't want them to grow up.  I don't know what I will do when the time comes when they start leaving the nest.  Makes my heart ache a bit. 

Caleb is done with drivers ed.  He can get his license at the end of Sept.  He loves to drive and jumps in the drivers seat every chance he can.  He is doing quite well. He occasionally still scares me.  The highschool is going to a 7 period day and we signed up for his classes online.  It was not an easy task.  It took me until 1:30 in the morning to get it all figured out and then I still had not scheduled him a lunch period or his electives.  But when I went back in to check they had done it for him.  He will be taking Spanish, Algebra, U.S. History, English, Seminary, metals and wood shop.  He is quite happy with his electives.  I tried to tease him and I told him he was so lucky because they scheduled him Home Ec for his elective.  He got all mad and said he would be the only guy in there.....then added "well the only straight guy".  LOL.  He was relieved to find that I was only kidding. 

Zachary is so so busy.  This kid LOVES to go go go.  I am thankful for his good friend.  Zach spends quite a bit of time at his house and they are a very good family.  Zachary planted 14 rows of corn.  Our friend, Randy, came over and brought siphon tubes and helped Zach figure out how to water his corn.  They dug a trench and put a stop in the ditch.  What a great guy Randy is.  We have such awesome neighbors and farmers here that are so willing to take extra time to teach.  Makes me feel a bit guilty.  They are so busy......yet so willing.  He is buying 2 sheep from another good friend and will be showing one at Grant County Fair and the other at Adams County Fair.  He is contemplating going to scout camp because he wants to go to his cousins orchard and work.  He stays really busy.

Rachel is about done with elementary school.  OH man. I can't believe she will be middle school next year.  I wasn't a fan of middle school.  She is such a great worker and a lady in the ward has called her over multiple times to work for her.  She helps her clean her house and then she pays her VERY WELL.  Not only does she give her money she also sends her home with other items......cereal, jewelry stand, brand new soft polk a dot blanket, construction paper, and other things.  She is just a sweet heart.  Rachel is saving her money and is careful with it (most of the time).  When I am working at her school Rachel will come over and play with the disabled kids that I work with.  She plays tag or chases them.  One little boy asks me, "where is your daughter?"  SO CUTE.  There was a boy that really wanted me to teeter totter with him. I can't do that because I have to make sure to watch all the kids on the playground from the special education room.  Rachel volunteered and took his hand and walked over to the teeter totter.  This boy was in 5th grade just like Rachel.  She is so sweet.

Ethan is doing great.  He was having some difficulties for a while and I took him back to the dr. to change his medication.  While I was subbing at his school the other day his teacher stopped me in the hall to tell me that Ethan is now one of her model students.  YES!!!!!!!!!!  Nothing better than to hear that from your child's teacher.  He was getting into a lot of trouble on the bus as well and I received a few phone calls.  After talking to Ethan and doing a point reward system he has been doing a TON BETTER.  The bus drive called to let me know that Ethan has been GREAT.  PHEW.   Love that boy.  Even in his struggles he is still so so sweet.  He used to get embarrassed when he saw me working at his school but now he comes up and give me hugs and kisses.  I am so glad we got his medicine changed.  He still has his melt downs but nothing like we used to deal with.  He loves to play frisbee, football, kickball, basketball and go swimming.  He would play Xbox all day if we let him.  BUT we really limit it with our kids. 

Mayah will be getting baptized the beginning of July.  Oh wow.  I am getting old.  She is my baby.  She is quite funny but quite strong willed.  We have to really choose our battles with her.  She has melt downs in the morning if things get too frustrating for her.  For instance, if she doesn't like what they are having for hot lunch she really wants to take cold lunch.  If we are running late and she doesn't have time to make up her lunch she will usually have a melt down.  One day she put on a pair of really cute capri's.  But when she bent down she said they didn't feel comfortable.  I knew that if we didn't get them changed she would have a meltdown.  Sounds like a spoiled brat huh?  I don't really think she is spoiled but I am the mom and don't really think any of my kids are spoiled but maybe they are.  Mayah's teacher called a couple of months ago to ask us if we wanted Mayah tested for NOVA.  It is a program for gifted and talented kids.  We left it up to Mayah and she said she did want to get tested for it.  When we talked to the teacher about it she said a lot of kids this age don't make it but if they retest in a year they seem to do better.  We got a letter in the mail yesterday saying she had made it into the program.  Her test score was a 92%.  She is a smarty pants.  We are grateful for Mayah.  She doesn't make parenting easy but she makes it worth it. 

We love all of our kids and are so proud of them in many ways.  They keep us busy and enjoying life.  Thank goodness for children.  What would this world be like without them?

Some pictures that I just love.  

This is the letter I would write

The scouts were earning money for scout camp.  They got free spuds from the farmers and went around selling them to members of the ward. It was quite an easy fundraiser. Zach did his part and went with the leaders to gather the money and drop of the tators.  Well....not everyone was home and so the leader gave Zach the envelope and we ventured out on our own to deliver the rest and collect the money.  Each scout, I think, did $220 worth of sales.  Zach put $120 in the envelope and took it to church to turn it in.  Before passing the Sacrament Zachary brought the envelope to me so he could turn it in after.  I put it behind the hymn books. 

Right after Sacrament meeting I helped Ethan get something to eat and get him to class.  He has been having some difficulties in class so we have been trying to figure out how to help him so he is able to sit still and focus better.  He deals with ADHD.  Eating a high protein snack seems to be a huge help so we take Zone bars with us.  I am very focused on helping him transition to his class to make it a bit easier for both him and the teachers.

Sunday evening Zachary asks where his yellow envelope is.  I check my purse and the church bag.  NOTHING.  OH no.  I then think back and can't remember grabbing it.  But I don't worry too much.  I mean.....heck....I left it at the church.  It would be there.  We went back to the church but couldn't find it.  We figured it would turn up.  Someone grabbed it but would surely turn it in to the bishop.  RIGHT?  Maybe?  HOPEFULLY?  I mean....it had names of people in our ward on tithing slips and it was marked SCOUT CAMP.  Thankfully we still had two other families that hadn't paid and so $100 would still be available for Zach. We considered that a great blessing.

Well it has been over a month and still no envelope.  HMMM  The singles ward meets right after us.  We talked to our bishop and they made an announcement over the pulpit.  We talked to the bishop of the singles ward and they announced it over the pulpit too.  BUT NOTHING.

Zach thought maybe they needed it more than us.  And maybe so.  But this is the letter I would love to have Mr. money snatcher read.

Dear Mr. MS (money snatcher)

I hope you really needed that money more than my son.  My husband had a great job in Virginia as an Arabic Linguist.  We owned a home on 2 acres and made a lot of memories there.  My husband got bit by a tick and ended up getting Lymes Disease.  He was out of work and in bed for almost 2 months.  He got laid off.  We ended up losing our home and had to move here and live with my mom.  We have been living here for over 3 years.  My husband still is not employed and suffers from mental illness and has five bulging disks and degenerative disk disease.  Most of his days are spent in bed.  We are the parents of five kids.  I work full time at the school district and go to school full time in hopes of getting an education degree.  At this point, I am basically a single mother.  I do all the running around, working, cleaning, cooking and whatever else needs done to keep our household running until my husband can get back on his feet.  Hopefully that will come sooner than later.  I want you to know that we have now had to do our own fundraiser.  We bought some vinyl lettering and are putting quotes on it and selling them.  This has taken quite a bit of time and has resulted in less time spent on my studying for school.  This is not a way for me to complain or to plea for help.  Don't worry...we come from some very strong stock and can handle this situation.  We are not asking for any help.  We got this.....even though we haven't sold enough for camp because of the expense of the tiles and vinyl.  We will have to come up with the money from our own pockets.  The pockets of a family with one small income because REMEMBER....my husband isn't working right now.  I hope you spent that money on something that was of value. Maybe you bought a set of scriptures that you really needed.  Maybe you donated it to a really good cause.  Maybe someone in your family is really sick and you really needed the money.  I hope you realize that taking that money was a sacrifice on our behalf.  It didn't just affect my son.  It affected ME.  Someone who is running from the time I wake up until I go to bed....not really having much time to do anything else but the necessary things to take care of my family and better our circumstances.  I am really putting myself out here by writing this letter.  Most people don't know about our situation.  And it might be better that way but I couldn't help but really wish I could give this letter to you.  Someone that has probably already spent that $120.  Not your $120 but my sons.  It also affected all of my children because they could NOT believe that the money that was left at CHURCH would be gone.  My husband already feels extreme amounts of guilt for not being able to work and take care of this family.  You have affected many people by being dishonest.  I honestly hope you needed that money more than my son. 

From,

a family who is strong enough to fight this on our own but a family who could have used that money to send our son to scout camp.  But don't worry. He will still be going.

Such a great day

Today Don and I went to Tri-Cities.  It was such a fun day.  I love love spending time with my husband and getting out of the house.  We did some shopping and even went to lunch.  WOW.  Doesn't happen much but it was great. 

We were on our way out of town when I got a phone call from my mom telling us that someone had hit the mailboxes and completely wiped them out.  They were all over the road.  The neighbor was going to call the cops because they didn't stop.  The officer said it had to have been a huge vehicle.....probably a semi....because of the damage.  The scary thing is that we waited at the end of the driveway with the kids until they got on the bus.  The mailbox is VERY close to the bus stop.  The bus came at 8:30 and my neighbor heard the loud crunch noise about 10-15 minutes later.  PEOPLE....that could have been my three kids.  I thank God it wasn't.  I feel blessed and realize you NEVER know.....you don't.

On our way back from Tri-cities I got a text from someone in our ward that coaches a girls softball team.  She said a set of twins on the team couldn't play anymore and wanted to know if Mayah could play.  They had already paid for it so there would be no cost.  Don and I had to think about it since it is on Monday and Wednesday night.  We decided we could have FHE on Sunday or Tuesday. 

The other tricky thing is that they had a game tonight.  TONIGHT?  We wouldn't be home from Tri-Cities until 5 and I needed to have her at the field at 5:30 for practice.  Mayah has never played softball before and didn't have a mitt.  And I didn't know if I would be able to get her one by the time she needed to be there.  Oh and it couldn't be just any mitt.  Mayah is left handed.  YIKES.  I was a bit nervous.  I remember seeing a mitt at goodwill a few days before so we decided to head there. We only had 10 minutes to shop before we needed to go to the field.  I said a quick prayer in my heart.  I figured if we found one she could just use a right handed glove for one day until we could figure out something else.  I was so so excited when I found a mitt. It wasn't the one I saw previous but it would do.  We grabbed it and headed to the register.  I was so happy when we got up there and it rang up half price.  YES...I love getting a good deal. I am cheap that way.  Then Mayah was trying to figure out how to get the glove on.....remember she has NEVER played.  She got it on and then I realized it was a LEFT HANDED glove.  NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!  How could it be?  I think it was a miracle.  I don't believe in coincidences.  I really believe it was an answer to my prayers.  And I was only five minutes late getting her to the practice they have before the game.  Mayah did awesome.  She hit the ball twice.  The first time she held on to the bat while she ran. It was pretty dang cute.  All you could hear from the spectators was DROP THE BAT...DROP THE BAT.....

I love that girl. She is a hard worker and kept asking me the rules all the way to the field to make sure she would get it all right.  We forgot to talk about dropping the bat before running.  LOL.  

After the game we headed to my brothers dental office so I could clean.  PHEW....Wednesdays are busy busy busy.  But it was such a good day. I could really see that Lords hand in today.

I love my Savior.  He is so aware of each of us. 

The TA DA list

I was reading another blog and just loved their idea.  Instead of a TO DO list they wrote a TA DA list.  Like TA DA....see what I got done today...rather than a to do list that makes you feel bad for all the things you couldn't get to.  So today I am writing my TA DA list....

1.  Got up and made french toast for the kids.
2.  Got them ready and out the door for school.
3.  Read my scriptures.
4.  Studied for my Psychology class for 3 hours.
5. Put in a couple loads of laundry and cleaned and vacuumed the t.v. room.
6.  Went to the bread store.
7.  Picked Ethan up from school and took him to the dr. (we got there at 4:10 and left at 5:30)
8.  Picked up my medicine.
9.  Went to Rite Aid to get Calebs meds.
10.  Went to Safeway to get swedish fish and sour patch kids for FHE
11. Took Ethan to the eye glass store to get his glasses adjusted only to find out it was closed and then realized I left my purse in the cart at Safeway.  YIKES.  I was just going to go home because I was tired but Ethan really wanted his glasses adjusted so we headed over there (just a few doors down from Safeway).  Had I just gone home my purse may have been in the hands of someone else.  Upon realizing it was still in the cart I pulled up quickly and had Ethan get out and run in to see if it was still there and it was.  TENDER MERCY!  There was a lady that was about to put her kid in the cart and Ethan went up and got the purse.
11. PHEW....didn't have to cook...mom made roast and carrots.
12. Did the activity for FHE first.  Don threw the football for the boys while I tossed the volleyball for the girls to hit.
13. Then came inside and watched the new bullying video on lds.org then talked about bullying.
14.Told Ethan and Mayah a story and read Mayah her homework paper.
15.  Headed to bed to talk with Don before going to bed. 
16.  And already have a call to sub tomorrow.  But atleast it is at my favorite school with awesome teachers.

The only thing I would change is to have atleast one service a day to put on my TA DA list.  But it was a busy day.  And I was able to do these things because I didn't sub today.  I love staying home and getting things done.

what I have learned from a child

My kids surprise me quite a bit.  Today Rachel told me she had a talk to give next week.  So right after church she came to the computer and wrote her talk.  I thought it was quite wonderful.  She is almost 11 and yet she surprised me with her insights.  Here is her talk:

Jesus Christ Is Our Savior

Once when Elder LeGrand R. Curtis Jr. of the Seventy was a child, he and his sister were playing in a small boat on a river. At first their adventure was fun, but as the boat drifted farther from the shore, they realized they were floating toward dangerous waters downstream.

The children began calling for help. Their father heard them and raced to the boat to rescue them. He saved them, which was something they could not do for themselves. He did this because he loved them.

 This story reminded me of a time when one night I prayed for safety. After my prayer I went to sleep and had a dream I was by myself on a cliff having a picnic. I was done cleaning up when a bag of grapes fell from my basket and started to slip off the cliff and I reached for them. I fell and I was so scared so I acted fast and grabbed onto a branch on the side of the cliff.  I was calling for help when I could not hold on any longer.  I then dropped. Just then a hand grabbed me.  At first I was scared because it suddenly happened.  But when I looked up I saw a man.  He looked familiar.  After that I woke up.  When I woke up I was thinking of the dream I had.  I was first thinking of the grapes.  To me it could have been the scriptures or a picture of my family.  Next I thought about the man I saw.  To me, it could have actually been Jesus saving me.  This made me say another prayer telling Jesus Thank you for answering my prayer of safety. 

Sometimes we make wrong choices and do things that spiritually take us away from Heavenly Father. Our Heavenly Father sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to save us. Jesus Christ suffered for our sins so that we can repent and return home safely to live with Heavenly Father. The Savior did something we could not do for ourselves. He was willing to do this because He loves us. In the name of Jesus Christ amen.

I didn't even know she had that dream.  Normally she shares her dreams with Don or myself.  But it is usually a really scary dream that wakes her up and she can't get back to sleep.  I am grateful for Rachel.  She is so sweet.  

Yesterday I told the kids if they cleaned their rooms I would take them to play at the McDonald play land.  They cleaned quickly and we were on our way.  As we were playing Rachel saw a girl from school that she knew.  She is a sweet little girl with developmental challenges.  She is very tiny for her age and hard to understand.  She has bright red hair and she looks a little like Strawberry Shortcake.  Rachel took her by the hand and played with her the entire time.  Rachel DOES NOT judge people by the way they look.  Last year Rachel was good friends with a partially blind girl in her class.  Most of the other kids thought this girl was annoying.  Rachel is amazing.  She really is.  I am thankful for her example.  I want to be more like her.  It was so sweet to see how she interacted with the girl at McDonalds.  They played on the play area.  They played air hockey.  They had a great time and it warmed my heart to see that she was showing love just like the Savior would have.

To continue with school or not?

Such a hard thing for me.  I am trying to figure out if I should take a break or keep going.  I don't even know if I want to be a teacher.  I am stuck in a pretty hard spot.  I told my mentor that I was going to take a break from school but he wanted to talk to me first but we have not been able to connect yet.  I had finished two of my four classes.  The other two were ones I have not really studied for.  I kind of checked out around Thanksgiving and haven't checked back in yet.  AND that isn't good.  My term ends March 1st and I didn't study for one of my classes but had to take the test anyway by the 25th of this month.  I signed up for it to take on Tuesday and actually passed it. I couldn't believe it....especially since I took the pretest 3 times and didn't pass any of them.  Before taking that test I was 100% sure I was done for the moment.  I have my AA degree and have been with WGU for a year and a half.  I still have until 2017 until I graduate with my teaching degree.  PEOPLE....that is a long time to be in school.  FOR ME ANYWAY. 

Anytime I even start to think about it I almost break into tears.  School is so hard for me.  I am not a great student and it feels like I am in medical school.  I am juggling quite a few things which becomes more difficult but at this point I told my mentor I would stick with it for now and see what the future brings. 

All I have ever wanted was to just be a mom.  To some that may sound lazy.  I don't consider myself that at all.  Working full time and trying to be a part of the life of five kids and going to school is exhausting.  It is something I never imagined I would be doing at this stage in my life.  But I guess we don't always know what life will throw at us and so I say to ALL.....get an education while you are young and before kids if you can. 

I am a hard worker and I continually get compliments at work.  I get calls constantly from people wanting me to work for them.  I know I am good at what I do (and I don't say that to brag).  I just don't like the school work and the intense amount of time it takes me to get it.  SO yeah maybe I am dumb.  But I am a dumb hard worker.  :)

Today

The younger three kids LOVE to earn money.  And when they want to do something special we tell them they have to figure out a way to make their own money in order to do what they want to do.  So just like they did last time, they decided to make cookies and sell them.  Don made them some business cards a while back but he couldn't find them on the computer in time for them to pass them out with their cookies.  But he did end up finding them and he printed them off and they colored them to brighten them up a bit.  They even have a business name but won't mention it here.    Their card is super cute.  I don't know how to get it on here but trust me....it is way cute.  Don free handed it and he did an awesome job. 

The kids made peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies to sell.  Rachel even made up a song about their business name and her and Mayah were singing it to all of us.  Very creative on her part.

After the kids helped with the cookies I drove them around to people in our ward.  They charged $5 a plate (a bit spendy) but how else were they to make enough money to go to the movies right?  That first night NO ONE said no.  The kids were so excited.  They made some fresh cookies the next day and went out again.  Only a few people said no but that was only because one person didn't have any money on him and another person had children with allergies.  The kids made a total of about $80.  After taking money out for ingredients and paying tithing they had about $63.

So today was the day they would get to spend their money.  Ethan wanted to take Don to see the Lego Movie.  They had Caleb join them.  The girls and I went bowling and out to lunch.  It was quite a treat.  They used their hard earned money and involved us.  Such a fun time.  DANG..the movies are expensive and after lunch and bowling and the movies...they are out of money. 

I love that the kids are learning to work for what they get.  I love that they are business minded.  Great lessons are being taught and they get so excited.  Now we just have to make sure we don't keep going back to the same houses.  They will surely get sick of us. 

We forgot to take the camera with us.  What a great day.

And happy birthday to George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.  Wish we had a president like that today.

Amazing....some people are quite amazing

I have been following a blog of a girl who has had some very hard things happen in her life.  LIKE HOLY COW hard.  So hard that I wonder how I would react if the same types of things happened to me. AND she is so amazing.  I know she has a lot of followers and I can see why.  I know she is blessing many lives and she is using her trials to uplift and benefit other people.  Her ability to express herself is quite a blessing to so many.  To put herself out there and tell her story (a very personal one) must have been a challenge but some of the things she talks about are so eye opening.  It has blessed my life and I know so many others.  Here is an example of some of the things she has blogged about.......

There are voices all around us... telling us how we should feel.  They tell us who they think we should be.  I heard many, during this time in my life, that tried to bring me down.  Some tried to put me down. Opinions about how I should be feeling.  People telling me how I should be moving on... or how I should grieve.  Some told me I should be moving on quicker, while others said I should slow down. None of those voices really mattered.  Heavenly Father knew what path I needed to find on my journey and only he had the true answers of where I should be. 
   I was alone that day in my own personal grief.... but I was not forgotten.  Every single person has their own story.  Everyone of us has our own personal path of pain.  Not one of us have a hand book on what comes next and how we should handle or make decisions in it.  What is right for one... is totally wrong for another.  
    One area of counsel that I have never gone wrong in is following the voice of the Prophets.  They speak to us with no agenda.  They volunteer their lives to speak the truth.  They care about each of us and our relationships.  They care about how we are living our lives and handling our grief. 
    During the trial I had some visitors come to my home. They asked if they could come and spend some time with our family on a Sunday afternoon.  These men, who work along side the Prophet every day, sat in my living room to see if I was ok. One of the first things they said was, "President Monson has asked that we come and see how you are doing... and let you know that we have been praying for you." 
   They didn't have an agenda... they didn't come to get the gossip.  They came to show me that I wasn't alone.  They were sent by the leader of the Church, that I knew with all my heart was true.  I didn't know it was true because of them... I knew it was true because I felt it in my heart... and I knew that Heavenly Father's spirit was so strong when I was there.  They came to comfort me and help me REMEMBER that he was not very far away... he knew right where I was... and I was not alone. 
   I know that their counsel is true.  I know that when I listen to all that they teach me, I can feel of joy here on earth. I believe that when we follow the words that they teach, we can remain unmovable and true to our faith even when the pains of this world are more than we can take on our own. 
    We are all going to get knocked down. It's not about if you get knocked down... It's what you do when you get back up.   Whatever pain has brought you down, find a way to land on your knees... and while you are there pray for the courage to one day learn how to stand again. It may take years to let it all go.  It may take a life time to find peace. It may take a thousand prayers to find relief from your pain.  All pains in life are covered by a loving Father in Heaven who knows how to heal us.  Some pains might take time to heal, some might never leave you while you are on this earth... but even through our pain we can find joy... if we have faith in Him.
   The world will tell you that you are not enough.  They will make you feel like you are not measuring up in any of the things that you do.  And most of the time, we listen. We allow the world to tell us that being a "stay at home Mom" is not a worthy title.  The world will whisper to you that your potential is worth so much more than sitting at home and changing diapers. Voices are every where.  Every magazine you read, every commercial you watch... Voices.  Speaking to you.  Make sure the voices you hear are the ones who are speaking words that are worthy of your time.  Don't let the world's whisperings pull you away from the path that you want to live. 
   All of us walk our own road.  No one has ever been exactly where you are. In this moment right now... no one else has felt what you feel.  That fact can feel overwhelmingly lonely and hard.  It is a truth that sometimes leaves us questioning where to turn and what to do next.  Those moments that you feel like you have no one to call, and no one to tell you who to be.... just be YOU. You are the you that he wanted you to be.  He has the power to heal the you he still sees inside.  And He will.  He is the one who has walked your path ahead of you.  He has seen the darkness.  He has seen the hurt.  He walks a few steps ahead so he is prepared on just how to find a way to wipe the tears from your eyes, and sew the holes in your heart.  
   You were made to be you.  Only disappoint the ones who can't find the goodness inside of you... the spirits who look for all that is wrong with you.  They will bombard you until you lose sight of yourself.  Voices are every where. Listen carefully. Listen to the ones who lift you up.  Surround yourself with beauty... and as you do you will find your own. Listen to the voices who bring you to stand.

It is kind of long but I lOVE LOVE what she says.  If you are interested in reading her story and how she has handled it go to 

 http://themomentswestand.blogspot.com/2014_02_01_archive.html

She is sure to bless your life almost daily in something she says or how she says it.  She is truly amazing in every way.
 

The funny things that make me laugh

Caleb is funny.  Yet so very very quiet.  Today at school the drill team was doing a fundraiser.  You pay $6 and you can send 2 cupcakes and a heart balloon to someone along with a message.  Well...Caleb received one but doesn't know who it was from.  It has such a sweet message inside.  It read:  Hi Caleb! Did you know you are awesome?  You should! You brighten my day seeing you. You are so spunky and kind and smart.  Never forget your worth! You're the best! You are loved.  Love-A Friend.  The word loved was underlined.  NOW...I do not think it is the gushy kind of love they are talking about.  I about cried when I read this note.  Someone out there really made Caleb's day.  Someone out there is amazing.  Someone out there has built him up a bit.  He knows it isn't that kind of love...but a love that only a friend gives.  A love that comes from someone with a Christ like life.  Caleb and I talked a little about the balloon and note.  Normally the seniors deliver the messages and have lipstick on and and give out kisses along with the special delivery.  HE was SOOOOOOOOOO glad they were not the ones to deliver his.  A freshman girl brought his to the classroom and just left it.  He told me he felt his face turn bright red.  And then some kid said HEY....what about the kiss?  Then the girl explained that only the seniors could do that.  He was so relieved.  It was embarrassing enough for him.  Then Caleb and I went to pick up Zachary from a friends house.  We talked about who could have given him the message.  He told me who he wished it was and then said if it was her he would probably faint.  LOL.  I told him he would be 16 in less than 6 months and could ask her on a date.  He said NO.  He doesn't want to go on any dates because he doesn't think he would know what to say.  It was hilarious when he said I could write him a script.  He said he could wear an ear piece and I could talk to him through that.  So we sort of set up a scenario and I said:  Tell her she looks good in red.  And then....being his funny self....he said:  "she looks good in red".  We both busted up laughing.  Oh it makes me sad to think Caleb only has about 2 years left at home.  That isn't very long.  Time goes so fast and I don't think I am ready for it.  This is one great kid.  That girl was right when she said he is smart and kind.  But my favorite part was when she said NEVER FORGET YOUR WORTH.  If all teens could realize that and if they could see how we see them and how their Heavenly Father sees them and their potential....what a difference that makes.  I have never ever been so pleased with the youth in our ward.  We have been in a lot of wards and BY FAR the youth that are Calebs age are absolutely amazing.  They have built Caleb up and have accepted him and included him and they just love to have fun....at activities and dances and camping trips.  I just love them. And so does Caleb.