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you will not understand half the stuff you read
you will get high or emo reading this blog, depending on my mood
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at a moment of weakness
Saturday, December 10, 2011 / Saturday, December 10, 2011
alhamdulilah today has been an awesome day. :) i actually went for dance practice and all at the same trying to repress the seniority feelings that tends to come out because of EGO. so yeah finally learnt the dance that i never had the chance to learn for the past 3 years. danced inang again since forever. Anyways, this post was basically to just have a personal update about my life since the last update.
i have turned 22, in bangkok nonetheless. had an awesome birthday surprise celebrations in jaybee with the sayangs. :)
farhaan, an old friend was the first to wish me a happy birthday and it felt nice to be remembered. :D
and apparently someone totally forgot about my birthday. just goes to shows how much my worth is in one's eyes don't you think. so yeah not to talk longer about that.
i will be okay in this awesome world. :) i miss the feeling that dance gives me. i am going to dance for the life of me. i miss it too much.
i don't know if i am addicted to the dance itself or the motions that i get to explore during practice or maybe its just the atmosphere. i miss my friends. i miss bitching and knowing that there is a valid reason for actually doing it.
as i turn 22, i seek forgiveness from those i have hurt unintentionally. as well as others who i have continously been bitchy to. it's my only outlet for the angst within me. i ask for strength to go through life's challenges. i seek to streamline the people around me and to just surround me with people that uplift my spirits as well as make me a more loveable human being. InsyaAllah amin.
to a more secure future and to something to look forward to. I am going to be worth every penny that they are paying me. insyaAllah to an awesome year ahead in work and in life. <3
and to that boy-like man that my heart has issues with.
you have no idea how you ignite certain passions within this heart of mine.
i know that these feelings will disappear once i learn to move on.
Tuesday, November 08, 2011 / Tuesday, November 08, 2011
HAHAHA. it has been eons since I last touched this space of mine. I have started work. It has been awesome. Its the holidays already and its still just as awesome. I realise the past few posts has either been very melodramatic or about a certain person from the past. HAHA. its 9 November and I can truthfully say that I don't miss him like I did back in August. I mean, I still do check his profile but the conflicting feelings has lessened. I guess, and I hope the reason for it is because I have learnt to accept that certain things are just not meant to be.
Anyways an update on life. I tend to update this blog only when I am in my down days or when Aunt RED is visiting. So yeah, for the past two months I have been tracking my expenses and making sure that a certain amount at least is being saved for rainy weather. HAH. but it seems that I spend far too much for my liking. Its alright, its a habit that needs getting used to. :)There are a lot of things on my mind the past few days. Places that I wanna go before anything untoward happens to me, things I want to achieve before certain matters tie me down and the list goes on. It basically evolves around the fact that I want to make my life as meaningful as can be. But it seems that over the years, I have accumulated a varied number of interests and a varied number of things that I want to do for myself.
So to start of things, I am going to list down the things that I still want to still be a part of my life as long as I live.
Things I Treasure 1. the bond I have with my sisters and mum. 2. a couple of my friends who have seen me through life's hardest battles although some of them may not know it. this makes part of my support system. I am a needy person and I need constant loving and affection from the people I care about. 3. dance. i want dance to still be a part of my life. somehow or another. I cannot see myself not being immersed, not being romanced by dance. Even if I wasn't dancing, I want to be a part of it one way or another. 4. love for the arts. be it dance, theatre, music etc. Although I am more of a dance and theatre person because I'm a more visual person, music plays a part in orchestrating the good and bad moments in my life. And I never want to be away from it. 5. Travel. There is a need for me to travel. Somehow or another it fulfills my deepest needs and it helps me recuperate from the humdrum of daily life. I want to see the beautiful cultures, I want to experience life's greatest architecture, arts etc. I yearn to travel and this is something I want to be kept in my future 6. Learning and Sharing experiences with people. I am a people person. I thrive in situations which there is a need for me to interact with others; although there is a loner soul within me, i believe that I enjoy life better with the presence of others. 7. Memories from the past. I am a very sentimental person, although these things I would never touch everyday but knowing that I was a part of something in the past somehow gives me encouragement for the future. :)
So there.7 things I would want to be a part of me until the day I depart from this world. InsyaAllah. I cannot forget and will make sure I will not forget.
Sunday, August 21, 2011 / Sunday, August 21, 2011
my little happiness pill: Anytime he makes conversation.
I'm missing that warmth our friendship used to have.
But people move on, so do our feelings. :)
Saturday, August 13, 2011 / Saturday, August 13, 2011
I shall be perangai and try to type a blog entry using the phone just to try it out. Im doing quite well n this typing on a touchscreen so hurray for me! zo basically now is dance practice but im at homevtgh perabgai babi so yeah ig fihures why when ppl meet me they say that i gained weight. Haha. Okay dah that's all for now. Selamat berpusa semua. ;)
Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4
Tuesday, August 09, 2011 / Tuesday, August 09, 2011
it's the 10th day of the holy month of Ramadhan and the whole of this morning I have been shown in one way or another how blessed my life have been. No matter the problems that exists in the world and no matter the hatred, I believe that there will always be others who are less fortunate or come from more stressful situations in life. While I watch and read articles on humanity in general, I look into myself, my life and reflect upon hardships that I thought I would never be able to get by with and the matter seems to be not as pertinent as it was.
I learnt today that whatever happens in life, we have to be more open-minded, we have to imagine the big picture, we cannot just assume. I have always reminded myself to be all that whenever a situation arises but sometimes feelings take over and I cannot be that level-headed person I wish I was. I have no idea how I treated the people who worked with me before this but I do hope it was with a level-headed mind and not with feelings that often gets high-handed.
"Sekali Lagi" was an awesome movie that reminded me of the need to be more accepting of others. It gave rise to feelings and assumptions that I have been used to and smash it all again, only to cause other assumptions to rise.. But with every assumption, as the story unfolds; it tells of the purest truth that did not even cross my mind and that I believe is a great moral story to learn from.
From this movie, I learnt that not all that is known to us is the truth and not all unknowns are untruths. We have to find out and seek for the truth in order to provide a just understanding of the situation. However, in the matter at hand that I am suppose to be more optimistic in the truth, I believe I cannot because hard truth has been shown to me, someone who I looked up to, someone whom I reverred with regards to the way he was able to handle things, lost my respect and my trust. I am basing all of this on the logics of the world, I understand that man have their needs but its the actions that they do is what defines them. All these times, where I have had negative feelings for this man because I felt uncomfortable for one reason or another with his excessive taunts about me, I pushed it aside because I wanted to believe he did all that in a jokingly manner. But now because of him, I am unsure of who to trust and am sceptical of the world out there.
Ya Allah, please give me the strength to have faith in whatever I do and whatever that life chooses to bring to me. Ya Allah, forgive me for having these thoughts in the month of Ramadhan but this is the perfect time when one's mind is clearest and is able to think in the most level-headed manner. Ya Allah, I seek your guidance in everything that I do because you are all knowing. Amin.
This morning, I was watching a documentary entitled "Koran to Heart" and it was such a heartfelt documetary about how children and youths out there are able to memorise the Koran, although some may not be able to understand the meaning behind those words. I was listening to them and it dawned upon me that I myself am not able to read the Qur'an and I have no idea what the contents of the Qur'an are. I feel ashamed but at the same time it has sparked a certain need for me to read the translation of the Qur'an for this Ramadhan and insyaAllah, for the next Ramadhan be able to read few verses from the Qur'an with confidence.
This Ramadhan has made me reflect on life's best treasures and the need to often reflect and be grateful for what life's brings us. We should push beyond our own limits so that we would be able to further value-add our interactions with people. As I explore the world as a teacher, I must always improve myself in order for my students to be able to better learn from me and to ensure that the values that I have always been taught be passed down to my students, insyaAllah.
This is a noble job that I am beginning to love with the different interactions I have with the students, no matter the number they still deserve the very best that education is able to provide for them. Learning from the words of a father who have ensured that the lives of his children will never feel incomplete, Paul who was a teacher understood the needs of his children and ensured that everything was in order before he passed on.
I should learn from what he did and instead of waiting for that moment where Allah may choose to take my temporal life away, I should ensure that my passing will not cause any stress on my family members and ensure that they will be well taken care of should anything happen.
At this point of time, I feel that although I may have lost respect for that man I used to acknowledge with reverence, he was part of my history and he was part of my youth. No matter what he did to my family, he once was a part of it. Should he ever claim for maintainence on the basis that he is my father no matter what happens between him and my mother, I will provide but only a lumpsum of the money that I would have set aside for him, monthly just in case. On that note, he should be grateful for what I am giving him and I pray that when the time comes; life will not be all about money for him and that he learns the mistakes and grief that he has caused with his immature and animalistic actions.
This has been a nice reflection session with regards to certain parts of my life. If I am able to be this clear in my thinking and my understanding of life, insyaAllah all will be well. Like my good friend's brother once said, if you live your life for the hereafter and in order to appease Allah (s.w.t.), InsyaAllah your life in this temporal world will be taken care of.
To a blessed Ramadhan ahead. :)
at a moment of weakness
Saturday, December 10, 2011 / Saturday, December 10, 2011
alhamdulilah today has been an awesome day. :) i actually went for dance practice and all at the same trying to repress the seniority feelings that tends to come out because of EGO. so yeah finally learnt the dance that i never had the chance to learn for the past 3 years. danced inang again since forever. Anyways, this post was basically to just have a personal update about my life since the last update.
i have turned 22, in bangkok nonetheless. had an awesome birthday surprise celebrations in jaybee with the sayangs. :)
farhaan, an old friend was the first to wish me a happy birthday and it felt nice to be remembered. :D
and apparently someone totally forgot about my birthday. just goes to shows how much my worth is in one's eyes don't you think. so yeah not to talk longer about that.
i will be okay in this awesome world. :) i miss the feeling that dance gives me. i am going to dance for the life of me. i miss it too much.
i don't know if i am addicted to the dance itself or the motions that i get to explore during practice or maybe its just the atmosphere. i miss my friends. i miss bitching and knowing that there is a valid reason for actually doing it.
as i turn 22, i seek forgiveness from those i have hurt unintentionally. as well as others who i have continously been bitchy to. it's my only outlet for the angst within me. i ask for strength to go through life's challenges. i seek to streamline the people around me and to just surround me with people that uplift my spirits as well as make me a more loveable human being. InsyaAllah amin.
to a more secure future and to something to look forward to. I am going to be worth every penny that they are paying me. insyaAllah to an awesome year ahead in work and in life. <3
and to that boy-like man that my heart has issues with.
you have no idea how you ignite certain passions within this heart of mine.
i know that these feelings will disappear once i learn to move on.
Tuesday, November 08, 2011 / Tuesday, November 08, 2011
HAHAHA. it has been eons since I last touched this space of mine. I have started work. It has been awesome. Its the holidays already and its still just as awesome. I realise the past few posts has either been very melodramatic or about a certain person from the past. HAHA. its 9 November and I can truthfully say that I don't miss him like I did back in August. I mean, I still do check his profile but the conflicting feelings has lessened. I guess, and I hope the reason for it is because I have learnt to accept that certain things are just not meant to be.
Anyways an update on life. I tend to update this blog only when I am in my down days or when Aunt RED is visiting. So yeah, for the past two months I have been tracking my expenses and making sure that a certain amount at least is being saved for rainy weather. HAH. but it seems that I spend far too much for my liking. Its alright, its a habit that needs getting used to. :)There are a lot of things on my mind the past few days. Places that I wanna go before anything untoward happens to me, things I want to achieve before certain matters tie me down and the list goes on. It basically evolves around the fact that I want to make my life as meaningful as can be. But it seems that over the years, I have accumulated a varied number of interests and a varied number of things that I want to do for myself.
So to start of things, I am going to list down the things that I still want to still be a part of my life as long as I live.
Things I Treasure 1. the bond I have with my sisters and mum. 2. a couple of my friends who have seen me through life's hardest battles although some of them may not know it. this makes part of my support system. I am a needy person and I need constant loving and affection from the people I care about. 3. dance. i want dance to still be a part of my life. somehow or another. I cannot see myself not being immersed, not being romanced by dance. Even if I wasn't dancing, I want to be a part of it one way or another. 4. love for the arts. be it dance, theatre, music etc. Although I am more of a dance and theatre person because I'm a more visual person, music plays a part in orchestrating the good and bad moments in my life. And I never want to be away from it. 5. Travel. There is a need for me to travel. Somehow or another it fulfills my deepest needs and it helps me recuperate from the humdrum of daily life. I want to see the beautiful cultures, I want to experience life's greatest architecture, arts etc. I yearn to travel and this is something I want to be kept in my future 6. Learning and Sharing experiences with people. I am a people person. I thrive in situations which there is a need for me to interact with others; although there is a loner soul within me, i believe that I enjoy life better with the presence of others. 7. Memories from the past. I am a very sentimental person, although these things I would never touch everyday but knowing that I was a part of something in the past somehow gives me encouragement for the future. :)
So there.7 things I would want to be a part of me until the day I depart from this world. InsyaAllah. I cannot forget and will make sure I will not forget.
Sunday, August 21, 2011 / Sunday, August 21, 2011
my little happiness pill: Anytime he makes conversation.
I'm missing that warmth our friendship used to have.
But people move on, so do our feelings. :)
Saturday, August 13, 2011 / Saturday, August 13, 2011
I shall be perangai and try to type a blog entry using the phone just to try it out. Im doing quite well n this typing on a touchscreen so hurray for me! zo basically now is dance practice but im at homevtgh perabgai babi so yeah ig fihures why when ppl meet me they say that i gained weight. Haha. Okay dah that's all for now. Selamat berpusa semua. ;)
Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4
Tuesday, August 09, 2011 / Tuesday, August 09, 2011
it's the 10th day of the holy month of Ramadhan and the whole of this morning I have been shown in one way or another how blessed my life have been. No matter the problems that exists in the world and no matter the hatred, I believe that there will always be others who are less fortunate or come from more stressful situations in life. While I watch and read articles on humanity in general, I look into myself, my life and reflect upon hardships that I thought I would never be able to get by with and the matter seems to be not as pertinent as it was.
I learnt today that whatever happens in life, we have to be more open-minded, we have to imagine the big picture, we cannot just assume. I have always reminded myself to be all that whenever a situation arises but sometimes feelings take over and I cannot be that level-headed person I wish I was. I have no idea how I treated the people who worked with me before this but I do hope it was with a level-headed mind and not with feelings that often gets high-handed.
"Sekali Lagi" was an awesome movie that reminded me of the need to be more accepting of others. It gave rise to feelings and assumptions that I have been used to and smash it all again, only to cause other assumptions to rise.. But with every assumption, as the story unfolds; it tells of the purest truth that did not even cross my mind and that I believe is a great moral story to learn from.
From this movie, I learnt that not all that is known to us is the truth and not all unknowns are untruths. We have to find out and seek for the truth in order to provide a just understanding of the situation. However, in the matter at hand that I am suppose to be more optimistic in the truth, I believe I cannot because hard truth has been shown to me, someone who I looked up to, someone whom I reverred with regards to the way he was able to handle things, lost my respect and my trust. I am basing all of this on the logics of the world, I understand that man have their needs but its the actions that they do is what defines them. All these times, where I have had negative feelings for this man because I felt uncomfortable for one reason or another with his excessive taunts about me, I pushed it aside because I wanted to believe he did all that in a jokingly manner. But now because of him, I am unsure of who to trust and am sceptical of the world out there.
Ya Allah, please give me the strength to have faith in whatever I do and whatever that life chooses to bring to me. Ya Allah, forgive me for having these thoughts in the month of Ramadhan but this is the perfect time when one's mind is clearest and is able to think in the most level-headed manner. Ya Allah, I seek your guidance in everything that I do because you are all knowing. Amin.
This morning, I was watching a documentary entitled "Koran to Heart" and it was such a heartfelt documetary about how children and youths out there are able to memorise the Koran, although some may not be able to understand the meaning behind those words. I was listening to them and it dawned upon me that I myself am not able to read the Qur'an and I have no idea what the contents of the Qur'an are. I feel ashamed but at the same time it has sparked a certain need for me to read the translation of the Qur'an for this Ramadhan and insyaAllah, for the next Ramadhan be able to read few verses from the Qur'an with confidence.
This Ramadhan has made me reflect on life's best treasures and the need to often reflect and be grateful for what life's brings us. We should push beyond our own limits so that we would be able to further value-add our interactions with people. As I explore the world as a teacher, I must always improve myself in order for my students to be able to better learn from me and to ensure that the values that I have always been taught be passed down to my students, insyaAllah.
This is a noble job that I am beginning to love with the different interactions I have with the students, no matter the number they still deserve the very best that education is able to provide for them. Learning from the words of a father who have ensured that the lives of his children will never feel incomplete, Paul who was a teacher understood the needs of his children and ensured that everything was in order before he passed on.
I should learn from what he did and instead of waiting for that moment where Allah may choose to take my temporal life away, I should ensure that my passing will not cause any stress on my family members and ensure that they will be well taken care of should anything happen.
At this point of time, I feel that although I may have lost respect for that man I used to acknowledge with reverence, he was part of my history and he was part of my youth. No matter what he did to my family, he once was a part of it. Should he ever claim for maintainence on the basis that he is my father no matter what happens between him and my mother, I will provide but only a lumpsum of the money that I would have set aside for him, monthly just in case. On that note, he should be grateful for what I am giving him and I pray that when the time comes; life will not be all about money for him and that he learns the mistakes and grief that he has caused with his immature and animalistic actions.
This has been a nice reflection session with regards to certain parts of my life. If I am able to be this clear in my thinking and my understanding of life, insyaAllah all will be well. Like my good friend's brother once said, if you live your life for the hereafter and in order to appease Allah (s.w.t.), InsyaAllah your life in this temporal world will be taken care of.
To a blessed Ramadhan ahead. :)
MY PROFILE
Its all about ME!
Hello my name is farahin!
i am not liable for the sappy and increasingly feminist content in this blog
i shall not I REPEAT i shall not be a cynic of love.
it just spoils all the fun out of falling in and out of love
I LOVE THIS!
What I really LOVE!
myself
dance
friends
heels
_ _ _ _ HAHA.
shopping when i have the money
myself
WISHLIST!
my WISH upon a star!
get my driving license!! go on a trip with my friends! digital camera :))) dresses.dresses.dresses. go for CAMP! any kind will do! :) hang out with the jayceee people <33
go ice skating!!
visit the SCIENCE centre AND Camwhore!
SWIMMING! strawberry sundaeee pleasee! HEELS! :)
