ps : i heart you ♥

I am having one of those before exams before swotvac demotivated nights. I am still wondering what I am doing with my life. Stuck in the same place when everyone else is moving forward. People say, don't worry about others. They say, how others strived or how others failed should have no impact on justifying what you're doing with your life because it is YOUR life. But, seeing people moving on and writing new chapters of their lives just can't help to make me wonder when will that day come for me?

I could have easily enrolled in a business course and probably survived it or maybe at least do what I love or surrounded with things that makes me love what I do. But instead, I am no where near what I love doing nor seeing myself doing what I do now in the future.

Life is all about struggle and how you make the best out of it but I am just not that optimistic person. And I tend to give up on things when I know it wouldn't work out at the end anyways. But this, THIS, the path I've supposedly chosen, I can't give up. There is too much to lose and there isn't another way out. The only one is to, strive another 12 subjects and I'll be done with this.

My white flag is already making quarter of its way up. How much longer could it be? Before I could put an end to this. Don't get me wrong, it is an amazing and bright future course. But it is just not me. At least not with the vision I have right now.

I am more than halfway across. And I keep trying to tell myself that the light at the end of it, isn't that far away. But I myself keep stepping further and further away from the light and just keep drifting and wandering somewhere else. I know, I may not be the best and most discipline person ever because I procrastinate till the cow comes home and I still never move. Just that, I am so demotivated. I don't wanna move. I keep crawling back to my comfort routine and put everything else which is important on hold. I just keep running away from reality and just hope and hope and keep my fingers crossed that things would just miraculously work out.

It is not something I should say but it is how I feel. And it is heartbreaking and disappointing altogether yet I never make a stand for myself. I am failing to succeed at this point of my life. And I SHOULD BE fighting back. I should, I know.

I'd just wish I could turn back time and choose it again. Impossible, I know. Not something I should say, I know. I should be saying "I'll make the best with what I have and do the best with what I have" but, honestly, even if I would have said it, I wouldn't have meant it.

If only I didn't have so many but(s).. and so many I know(s) that I am neglecting.

I am sorry for letting you down, mom.

shereena.

hey ya'll!

this is my last week of uni for the semester. and then it'll be exam period and i am so not looking forward to it. i absolutely hate exams so much. like seriously... the whole stress and the routine just kills me. but oh well i could only complain and not get away with it... ):

anyways last week was nice (: weeks that involves teck wei, shopping and good food and no uni work are always categorised as good weeks :DD

soo... jump back to the thursday i went over to the boyfriend's,

went over after classes and the boyfriend was having a very good day as he was done with his design project. completely like a heavy burden being lifted off him. happy him, happy me! (:

end up chucking it out. yes it was bad and i've never cooked anything so bad before like seriously... ): and then spent the whole night watching movies and what not with the boyfriend.

saturday, had brunch date plans with the boyfie at chadstone (:


which is where i found $50 under the table we sat and for that moment i thought "maybe i could just pick it up and keep it in my pocket." but there was these two ladies sitting beside us and i had to ask if it was theirs. but turns out it wasn't and so happened the waiter passed by so i handed it over to him. because i know that the couple who originally sat at our place wasn't gone for very long and it might be theirs. but coming to think of it now, it might be tips for the waiter already.. haha!

anyways.. back to the food!

after brunch, we just went walking around chaddy for a bit. went for a little window shopping and just enjoying saturday brunch and window shopping day out with the boyfriend (:


and then we went grocery shopping to stock up on the boyfriend's exam period food and headed back.



i'll stick to cooking chicken next time! and not deviate! i can't believe i cooked two days continuously of yucky food ))): so emo...

spent the night watching one tree hill and vampire diaries, greys anatomy, private practice and supernatural while the boyfriend went out for a short drinking session with some friends.

vampire diaries shall now be my favourite show and the next would be greys ((:

and once the boyfriend got back, we just spent the rest of the night giggling about nonsense and just goofing around. hehe!

sunday,

woke up close to 3pm. and i was going home with the 4.45pm bus. so yeah... had a pie for lunch and just did nothing. packing and cleaning as per usual lah.. then i was off for home. i love it when the boyfriend sends me out till where i have to get the bus... hehehe! super sweet to me (:

was home by 6.15pm. and was greeted by the smell of steak with pepper (:


super yums! and super healthy! feels like i can eat so much without even feeling a tiny bit guilty..! HEHEHE :DD

today,

went to uni. and it was so hot outside!! )): like so so hot and dry... 27 degrees is already killing me! tomorrow it will be 30 degrees and so is the day after. i am seriously so not looking forward to summer AT ALL! and i will have to go through it till early jan before i go back to malaysia! heat is fine with me as malaysia is hot as well but i don't tolerate heat and dryness together. its horrrriiiibbbleeeeeee!! like a freaking giant oven!!


after dinner i went out for an hour walk around the neighbourhood with aunty D. it was nice going for exercise after dinner. feels better in some way or maybe its just me thinking haha!


gotta head to bed soon. tomorrow i have an early class at 930am which means 830am out of the house ): those who knows me well enough... i don't do well with waking up early :P HEHE!

omgggg my room is so hot! and with the heat season coming, i have tiny little insects in my room and mosquitoes. no fun ): summer i don't like you at all.....

the boyfriend is having his first paper tomorrow. hopefully things turns out well (: he'll always be MY smarty pants despite whoever thinks whatever ((:

oh and i've recently downloaded the nuffnangx app. and it has been pretty fun! its like instagram but in blogs form instead of pictures. and its like all the blogs you love reading in one feed. super convenient! (:

that's it for now! goodnight peeps!

much love,
shereena.

hello peeps!

to run your fingers through straight smooth clean hair feels so good! i finally started using my straightener again after like months of not touching it. plus..with the oil and all that, super love how my hair feels right now! but..tomorrow it will be a whole new different story i think? cause usually good hair days don't stay very long for me. )):
anyways... i'll be heading over to the boyfriend's tomorrow after classes! in the end, we only parted for 3 days. and i'll be spending the coming 4 days with him. shoooooo nice :D and since he is done with his fyp's report stress, it'll be good news for me too. at least i'll be getting a churpier him for the next couple of days. then he'll be in his exam stress. but i still get happy him, so i am happy :DDD

the past three days has just been me spending time with aunty D. she is still on leave and i haven't been very busy with uni classes, so i've been spending time talking to her about her past 7 weeks holidays and also going out with her.

monday, we went over to essendon DFO because the cousins back home gave me a list of demands on the ralph lauren items they wanted. and since me and aunty D hasn't been there in awhile, we thought of swinging by to browse and see what are the sales like. turns out, ralph lauren was having a 70% sale off the recommended retailed price, it was the perfect time for me to clear out those demands from home!

but downside, my account is $485 lesser.... so sadddd seeing the digits went down on a purchase that neither any of the item were mine. ahahaha!


the flowers are really pretty with its pink and purple. and its a cream base which is exactly what i have been wanting and it was not with a harmful price tag! oh so happy!! i've been searching for the right flower print, the right jeans colour and the right price for a couple of months already... hehehehe found it finally! :DD

tuesday, went to uni for an early class as was home before 12pm.


then went to moonee ponds with aunty D. just went browsing and grocery shopping.

today, didn't have any classes because the lab wasn't running this week. so i got up like 1230pm or something and just lazed around the house for abit.


then went out to highpoint with aunty D. the place looks so different now with its extended areas. looks like a different mall at that particular part. haha!

hehehehe me and my clothes and shoes and bags and accessories. basically me and everything.. HEHE!

wokays got to go! skyping with the boyfriend now and i gotta tidy up my room. just in case if aunty D comes in sometime in the next 4 days. haha! it needs to be presentable :P

goodnight folks!

love,
sher xoxo.

Hey ya'll!

Been slacking on the weekly updates. This shall be a two weeks update then (: HAHA! Now I am back to my own crib. My messy room. I have piles of stuff all over the bed... Feels like as tho I just got back from Malaysia and I have things everywhere. Well basically I did leave my room for like 7 weeks and it feels like I went for a vacation. A vacation to the boyfriend's :DDD

This amazing 7 weeks went by in a blink of an eye. I remember I was so happy knowing that I would be spending day and night with the boyfriend for 7 weeks but now, it is like gone. GONE! Soooooo fast!!

I am already missing him being around me and so as I type up this post, he is on the other side skyping with me. It just feels better knowing he is there. I am so not used to it =/ I used to wake up to him, seeing him day and night, cook for him (or us) and living together. Now pula back to routined life before these 7 weeks. My own room on weekdays and his on weekends only ): No fun.. How I wish we could stay in our little happy bubble forever and never have to go back out to reality... Despite all that has been said, 4 days till I see him isn't that long. It just takes sometime to get use to that again..

Okay... soooo rewind back to two weeks ago.

9th of October, Tuesday,

I went back home to get my monthly travelling ticket and also to drop some stuffs off. I was having too many things over at the boyfriend's already and it was sorta messing up his room by more than abit :P hehe!

Had my camera with me that day and while I was waiting for bus I decided to play with it and see how good of a macro shot it could take.


Basically I think my baby captures things pretty good. I am happy with it. Like so very happy! :D So glad I made the right choice by buying it over the Canon..!


Wednesday,

Went out for korean dinner with the boyfie. Bought a groupon voucher a long time ago and finally got around to using it.


Especially the bibimbab. OMG horribleeeeee! And I emo that teck wei's beef bibimbab got egg but my seafood bibimbab no egg ))): Never will I go back there again...! I want to eat good Korean BBQ laaaaaaa!! One day must drag the boyfriend go eat good korean food!


Thursday,


I think that night's dinner was some random makan out at Nando's or something. I can't remember ahah!

Friday,


Saturday,

The boyfriend went out basketball in the morning and had lunch with them after that. They did call and offered for me to go lunch together with them but when they called I just woke up and so I didn't want to take up their time waiting for me. So instead, I had nuggets for lunch! Way yummier than what the boyfriend had for lunch cause apparently it was horrible. hahaha!

Then jiashen came over to bath and the three of us headed out to the engineering computer lab. Both of them had final year project stuffs to do.


Anddddd it was a saturday and there are pizza deals on saturday and I so wanna eat... so before we left the lab, we ordered our pizzas online first and then walk home after ordering. So that once we reach home, ngam ngam no need to wait too long then can indulge in the pizzas already :DD


I know we are crazyyyyyy but we finished it! Ate it for supper but still finished it! Ahmazingggg I know.....! :P

Sunday,

Woke up around 2pm as usual and then had a random thought around 4 ish to go over to Clayton town to have early dinner and do grocery shopping.


Got back and then just pretty much stoned around. Temaned the boyfriend do his work. I watch series and stuff. The cycle continues anyways. Then as usual again, supper at night! :DD

Monday,


Tuesday,


Wednesday,


For dinner, cherly tapao-ed back maccas. I had one double quarter pounder while the boyfriend had three burgers! HAHAH!

Thursday,


Friday,


Dinner we just had leftover of the dark soy sauce chicken and then I fried some omelette and stir fried some vegies. Teck wei was doing his work in uni till pretty late that night soo dinner was pretty late as well.

Bought it from the asian grocery. All you gotta do it just boil it and then make your own sweet soup. In this case, I had white sugar, gula melaka and honey for the sweet base :DD

Saturday,

After I got up in the afternoon, went to the lab with teck wei and had our lunch at the sports centre. hehehe had the awesome fried chicken somemore had TWO pieces. Too awesome to say no to it :D Then just stayed around in the lab watching series on my lappie while the boyfriend does his work.



Today,

Woke up about 2pm, cooked some food for the boyfriend hoping he could have it for dinner because he was in uni doing his project stuff. And I was being sad because he wouldn't be around when I had to go back but turns out, he came back just after I finished cooking and finished all the food up for lunch. I got a praised from him saying that my cooking is getting much better. Because today's lunch, I didn't have any paste to cook the chicken with so I used whatever that I could find and it turned out pretty good :DD wheeeee

And another brightside, I got my sent off to the bus stop :P hehehehehe I am talking as tho I was leaving him and going away somewhere.. hahah!

Came home caught up with aunty D on her trips and she cooked massaman curry for dinner. Now, I don't have to go get grocery almost everyday and think of what to cook everyday anymore. I just have to only think about weekends. ahah! Can retire for now :P


Basically in the last 2 weeks, all I have been doing is go to uni, do work, cook, watch series, EAT and teman the boyfriend do his work while I do some other stuff on my own laptop.

That pretty much sums up the whole 2 weeks. Summed up the food part of the past 2 weeks :D

Same ol' same ol' routine lah. But I won't get bored of it. No way of getting bored being with him (: Now still skyping somemore. I've been writing this post for the past 4 hours and he has be on the other side for 4 hours. ehehehe God knows why I took 4 hours with this post. Haha!


Goodnight peeps!

I am so freaking hungry right now..... Got used to having supper all the time already. But no, now cannot! Have to lose weight! Been putting on so much considering the way I have been eating with the boyfriend. HAHAH! OK on losing weight mission now! Till I am back to where I was 7 weeks ago :)

much love,
shereena.