Too Stagnant.
And I don't want to be the norm, too much.
I don't know what I'm thinking...
Things are not falling in place.
Things are not falling apart either.
I don't feel I'm accomplishing anything.
But I don't want to compare with anyone.
My friends are getting new jobs.
My friends are getting more money.
My friends are travelling.
My friends are getting a degree.
I am where I am since 3 years ago.
I took a step faster than all.
Now it seems I'm lagging behind.
But what do I want.
What do I really want...
Random, of the randomness.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
two oh one one, in a nutshell
it's good to think back, reflect. but it's a long way to think back for an entire year of ups and downs, in and out. honestly, i don't remember much details of 2011, but i clearly remember it was an emotionally involved one, much of a roll over from 2010. it's a year all about people. you know, not much career, studies, achievements etc. but the people - the heart, the mind, the tears, the joy..
four vacation, five cities, twenty nights
spent a fortune on travelling in 2011. don't know how many thousands of dollars in exchange of the time spent living in other countries, and most importantly the continuation of Four Seasons vacation! shopping trip to nearby city - Bangkok, in early 2011. at last! i would say, to finally shop until shiok and best of cheap authentic thai food. come april a three nights stay at FS Chiangmai, short getaway and yet another fantastic memory with Four Seasons. took a trip down to Australia in Brisbane to heal the heartbreak and meanwhile spent some days living the suburb life. the cooling weather was a plus, although it turned things a little gloomy-er but enjoyed the chills. sitting alone by the river, a hot coffee on one hand and kebab on the other, listening to all the emo songs in the iPod. escaped a weekend to nearby Sydney for 2 nights at Four Seasons. stone throw from deja vu Sydney Opera House and first ever solo-trip. still marked as the best trip for myself although i came down with bad cold & fever cos weather was simply too cold. but watching surfing in winter and more shopping is another awesome. finally the most recent birthday trip to Four Seasons Koh Samui. one property i had always wanted to go. everything which falls in front of my eyes was pure beauty of the nature.
and in the four trips, i thank all my vacation buddies for a wonderful time spent. Lyndel for Bangkok, Kim for Chiangmai, Sham & Jack for Brisbane and Marian for Koh Samui. most importantly, these time away from home helped a lot in healing and me spent lots of time thinking. not forgetting the best friend for accompanying me in all the trips.
a new (best) friend
once, i never believed in a "best friend", thats probably because i never had one. but i have to say everyone's definition of "best friend" is different. some say your boyfriend behaves like your best friend. some say your best girl friend is your best friend. some say your Mum/Dad is your best friend. regardless, i've found one.. we can talk about anything under the sun. i talk, and he listens. and when he talks, i listen. we share an amazing telepathy. we think about each other almost at the same time and all the time. he doesn't say much, but his eyes gives me the assurance, always. he's not selfish, he wants me to chase my dreams. he's like a brother, watch me stand up on my own feet while giving me a push. he doesn't buy me candy, but he sends the sweetest words. he's faraway, yet he's always here.
a breakup, and getting over it
the moment it hit january, my heart was already dead. i was sad for too long, i cried too much. i gave up on trying to save a relationship which is not meant to go on.. and of cos finally realizing it too. it took me a lot of effort to completely not contact him, treating him invisible when i see him around. nothing was harder than these six months. every time when i am alone, i will think and i will cry. i felt that the world should end and my misery would end too. i deleted all photos in the phone, hid everything in a folder, almost hit the erase button for his number. i knew i had to do this.. and i did. never regretted everything ive done to keep myself going. anyway we started talking again. slowly, bit by bit. i definitely grew out of it, knowing that there is no point hating him for all the hurt he has caused me. just so you know, until today we are still in contact. not the most, but at least i earned a friend and less a stranger.
same-ol friends, and they are always there
you would have heard of, "在家靠父母，出外靠朋友" every friendship is unique. i wouldn't say that i treat everyone the same, but i would swear that i treat every single friend all geuninely. i thank these people for their presence. i may only catch them once in a while, but whenever we meet, that special feeling is always there. the kind of comfort i can't describe. Saturdays meet-ups with ASKY, drinking/clubbing/house party/midnight htht sessions with the bros, random seafood dinners with One Love, lunches & girly htht with Lyndel/Perlin/Wan Qian. prata/bandung suppers with Vivian. thank you for another year of friendship. i look forward to the next.
farewell, see you again
somehow, a couple of people around me chose to leave the country this year. first up of cos my beloved sister taking up a one year joint-degree programme with UNC at North Carolina, USA. what a fantastic opportunity and i am not any least excited than her. but having the closest darling leaving me for a year is not the easiest deal. not used to the absence of the smarty-pants in the family, and of cos, my roomie. Sham also left for studies at UQ at Brisbane, Australia. we met up so often before he left, accompanying almost my every weekend. having him to leave for Aussie was really hard. also because he is always the one who got us together. that explains the Aussie trip i took in July too. well, all good and he is back for awhile this winter break before he is gone for another long time.
meeting the friends again!
the internship in Maldives gave me the chance to meet friends on the other parts of the world. and it has been a long while, since 2008 that i last saw many of them. fortunately, 2011 was a year of reunions. met Trin in Bangkok while he was on his break from LA. he took me around on a few places in Bangkok, and it's always good to have a local, they truly knows where are the best finds. Cecilia came to Singapore for a short break with her family after her graduation. although we only met for one supper, we already had so much fun recalling about our time in Kuda Huraa. she hasn't change a bit and it didn't felt like it's been two years at all. then of cos Kana who came by from Langkawi every say, 3 months? i always try to find time to catch up with my buddy! bringing her to some nice cafe and we have tea and chat the afternoon away. met Scott & JO while i was holidaying in Sydney. nice catch up with the ex-bosses and it's always good to see them again. and of cos, Eriec who came from Bali with his daughter and joined our housekeeping week's finale BBQ. i swear she had so much fun with everybody.
that closes my 2011. with the new year yet again, regardless if the world is ending or not, it's time for me to do something new. c'mon Sock, let's go.
it's good to think back, reflect. but it's a long way to think back for an entire year of ups and downs, in and out. honestly, i don't remember much details of 2011, but i clearly remember it was an emotionally involved one, much of a roll over from 2010. it's a year all about people. you know, not much career, studies, achievements etc. but the people - the heart, the mind, the tears, the joy..
four vacation, five cities, twenty nights
spent a fortune on travelling in 2011. don't know how many thousands of dollars in exchange of the time spent living in other countries, and most importantly the continuation of Four Seasons vacation! shopping trip to nearby city - Bangkok, in early 2011. at last! i would say, to finally shop until shiok and best of cheap authentic thai food. come april a three nights stay at FS Chiangmai, short getaway and yet another fantastic memory with Four Seasons. took a trip down to Australia in Brisbane to heal the heartbreak and meanwhile spent some days living the suburb life. the cooling weather was a plus, although it turned things a little gloomy-er but enjoyed the chills. sitting alone by the river, a hot coffee on one hand and kebab on the other, listening to all the emo songs in the iPod. escaped a weekend to nearby Sydney for 2 nights at Four Seasons. stone throw from deja vu Sydney Opera House and first ever solo-trip. still marked as the best trip for myself although i came down with bad cold & fever cos weather was simply too cold. but watching surfing in winter and more shopping is another awesome. finally the most recent birthday trip to Four Seasons Koh Samui. one property i had always wanted to go. everything which falls in front of my eyes was pure beauty of the nature.
and in the four trips, i thank all my vacation buddies for a wonderful time spent. Lyndel for Bangkok, Kim for Chiangmai, Sham & Jack for Brisbane and Marian for Koh Samui. most importantly, these time away from home helped a lot in healing and me spent lots of time thinking. not forgetting the best friend for accompanying me in all the trips.
a new (best) friend
once, i never believed in a "best friend", thats probably because i never had one. but i have to say everyone's definition of "best friend" is different. some say your boyfriend behaves like your best friend. some say your best girl friend is your best friend. some say your Mum/Dad is your best friend. regardless, i've found one.. we can talk about anything under the sun. i talk, and he listens. and when he talks, i listen. we share an amazing telepathy. we think about each other almost at the same time and all the time. he doesn't say much, but his eyes gives me the assurance, always. he's not selfish, he wants me to chase my dreams. he's like a brother, watch me stand up on my own feet while giving me a push. he doesn't buy me candy, but he sends the sweetest words. he's faraway, yet he's always here.
a breakup, and getting over it
the moment it hit january, my heart was already dead. i was sad for too long, i cried too much. i gave up on trying to save a relationship which is not meant to go on.. and of cos finally realizing it too. it took me a lot of effort to completely not contact him, treating him invisible when i see him around. nothing was harder than these six months. every time when i am alone, i will think and i will cry. i felt that the world should end and my misery would end too. i deleted all photos in the phone, hid everything in a folder, almost hit the erase button for his number. i knew i had to do this.. and i did. never regretted everything ive done to keep myself going. anyway we started talking again. slowly, bit by bit. i definitely grew out of it, knowing that there is no point hating him for all the hurt he has caused me. just so you know, until today we are still in contact. not the most, but at least i earned a friend and less a stranger.
same-ol friends, and they are always there
you would have heard of, "在家靠父母，出外靠朋友" every friendship is unique. i wouldn't say that i treat everyone the same, but i would swear that i treat every single friend all geuninely. i thank these people for their presence. i may only catch them once in a while, but whenever we meet, that special feeling is always there. the kind of comfort i can't describe. Saturdays meet-ups with ASKY, drinking/clubbing/house party/midnight htht sessions with the bros, random seafood dinners with One Love, lunches & girly htht with Lyndel/Perlin/Wan Qian. prata/bandung suppers with Vivian. thank you for another year of friendship. i look forward to the next.
farewell, see you again
somehow, a couple of people around me chose to leave the country this year. first up of cos my beloved sister taking up a one year joint-degree programme with UNC at North Carolina, USA. what a fantastic opportunity and i am not any least excited than her. but having the closest darling leaving me for a year is not the easiest deal. not used to the absence of the smarty-pants in the family, and of cos, my roomie. Sham also left for studies at UQ at Brisbane, Australia. we met up so often before he left, accompanying almost my every weekend. having him to leave for Aussie was really hard. also because he is always the one who got us together. that explains the Aussie trip i took in July too. well, all good and he is back for awhile this winter break before he is gone for another long time.
meeting the friends again!
the internship in Maldives gave me the chance to meet friends on the other parts of the world. and it has been a long while, since 2008 that i last saw many of them. fortunately, 2011 was a year of reunions. met Trin in Bangkok while he was on his break from LA. he took me around on a few places in Bangkok, and it's always good to have a local, they truly knows where are the best finds. Cecilia came to Singapore for a short break with her family after her graduation. although we only met for one supper, we already had so much fun recalling about our time in Kuda Huraa. she hasn't change a bit and it didn't felt like it's been two years at all. then of cos Kana who came by from Langkawi every say, 3 months? i always try to find time to catch up with my buddy! bringing her to some nice cafe and we have tea and chat the afternoon away. met Scott & JO while i was holidaying in Sydney. nice catch up with the ex-bosses and it's always good to see them again. and of cos, Eriec who came from Bali with his daughter and joined our housekeeping week's finale BBQ. i swear she had so much fun with everybody.
that closes my 2011. with the new year yet again, regardless if the world is ending or not, it's time for me to do something new. c'mon Sock, let's go.
Monday, January 02, 2012
New travel plans for the New Year?
I wish myself a Happy 2012.
I wish myself a Happy 2012.
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