She Will Be Loved

Holy Crap! The year is coming to an end! I have a weird habit of reading my own blog because I know these days probably nobody else will read it but my purpose of writing is still about keeping it for myself to read? So reading back, seems like I had a great 2012. A lot written about my job and career. And what's amazing is that at least something had happened this year and I have finally moved! That's the best best thing which happened to me because I know I was getting so jaded working in the same place for the past 3 years. It wasn't an easy journey from the beginning searching for so long for a place to move to. My initial plan which I was pinning my hopes on was actually the position at Hampshire which I really thought I had a chance! Then the next decision between Beijing and Serengeti. Eventually it was Serengeti which I decided on and lucky enough my transfer got approved and here I am, moving from an ultimate city to the wildest property in the company. Imagine I came here in mid August and now its already end of December! Time goes by sooooooooooo fast!

Trips! This year I did California with entire family. Will never forget the moment of meeting the sister at the Los Angeles airport. No words to describe but only love! Travelled through LA, San Fran and Santa Barbara. Love every Four Seasons property this trip, as usual! Relocating in Tanzania also felt like a trip altogether. Final trip of the year was end november to Mauritius. Really never imagined I would do comp nights in Mauritius. Beautiful property of course. Also took a few days in Arusha & Nairobi. Completely different kind of experience. Who can beat that. 

I miss my family and friends and food in Singapore a lot. Obviously also the convenience of everything and how cheap things are and easy to get. Food food food! The variety and the quality. Not missing the crowd though. Very glad that I am not in Singapore this Christmas & New Year. Er, I never liked the crowd and the hype. Oh yes, it was so quiet here during Christmas. Hope for a little more for New Year though. Looking forward to the big meal at the Chinese!

Still in Serengeti,

Sock

First thing I saw this morning, so sweet.

♥/ 211212

As I take the world with my feet and my camera, there are tonnes of misses everywhere else. I always try to tell myself not to miss too many things back home because some things I do today I may not ever do it again. Yet there are just so many things close to my heart which I cannot carry with me during this crazy adventure of mine working in Tanzania and travelling in this part of the world. 

As I recalled my childhood, I would never imagine what I am doing today to be something I wanted to do since young. Maybe the reason is I didn't have a goal in my life when I was younger. I only enjoyed my time being a child watching tv having fun and maybe doing nothing. I wasn't the best student academically but never hated school. Was extremely in love with St John activities but never thought about ending up in the hospitality industry. I thank my then closest girlfriend who gave me the idea of joining "hotel management" which I naively thought I will ended up a manager in hotel, not even know what is it about. Even up till the last day in Temasek Polytechnic which I pursued my diploma in Hospitality and Tourism Management, I had never imagined myself working overseas, not to say somewhere in Africa! 

As I put behind all my amazing friends and family in Singapore, I had never regretted a day working here in Tanzania. Maybe on a day I was/am badly bitten by a tsetse fly. I have learnt not to regret or complain about a choice which I had made. Probably I had heard enough "complains" of other people's choices. Haha. It only a pity that I cannot bring along my loved ones to the amazing nature I am living in right now. Sometimes I am worried that I am moving behind times while other parts of the world are fighting to be the most advanced and developed. It is really not easy living from a first world country to the third, accepting what is not accepted if I were in Singapore or somewhere near to that standard of living. Accepting not having a smartphone while 90% of people in Singapore is yearning to have the latest. But hey, I am doing well without one, ok! As I write, my thoughts wandered. I'm missing out the point that I do miss my family and friends back home. Being away do make me cherish them even more, not wanting to take their presence for granted. 

Because some people, you just lose along the way.

I don't hope to inspire. I just want to be a better person.

Karibu Tena

The game drive returning back to the lodge is probably the best I ever had, warm welcoming me back to Serengeti. It was just me and doctor hence it was easy. We first saw a family of giraffe crossing the road after enjoying some leaves on the other side. And at the backdrop was a beautiful rainbow which came after the rain. Another fifteen minutes into the drive, we chanced upon a lion sitting by the road side under a tree. The rare sight of a male lion was incredible. I was totally dumbfounded and just looked quietly at the magnificent animal we know as the King of the Jungle. We were lucky, very lucky. After doing 4 game drives and here for more than 3 months, I least expect myself to see a lion as I return from my vacation. I almost forgot to take out my DSLR; can't stop snapping this beautiful creature. No words to describe, I really didn't want to leave. 

& welcome back, welcome home!

Bonsoir;

My second last day in Mauritius, how I dislike it when I lack in writing on my blog when my life is so eventful and exciting. (self-praise, ignore). Again, much had happened over the last two three weeks. The week before leaving for R&R was spent much on the FF&E projects in the rooms. Was in the midst of the busiest week and had to also pack my luggage, prepare for the room move which might happen while I was away. Rushed to pack up for my R&R as well. It was good kind of busy while I was doing the FF&E, along side with the new uniforms. Many people were excited and even myself, I can't wait to fit them on when I get back to the lodge!

Spent the first day in Arusha and thankful I had two really nice colleagues to bring me around. Travelled around Arusha for a bit and had some food which I never had for a long time. In the evening I received the news that one of my closet buddy in the lodge is leaving the next day. Was really affected that it came so sudden that he had to leave! So much uncertainty in life, always.

Had a horrible travel from Arusha to Mauritius, via Nairobi. Almost missed my connecting flight and JKIA is so messy. It is probably the worst airport I have ever been to. Arrived Mauritius in the evening and didi SJ was here to pick me up! So good to see someone familiar after 3 months! The Singlish just instantly came up as we speak. Stayed the first 3 nights at Four Seasons. Loved it how it is B&B for all guests and I truly enjoyed the sumptous breakkie every morning! Another best thing is meeting the TP interns here in FS - which I eventually came crashing at their crib anyway. They are such sweet people! Love how mature they behave, can never imagine they are 5 years my junior. It's definitely FS TP &OSIP combi. So proud of them four :)

Four Seasons Mauritius is a beautiful property. It's huge too. Was also very lucky to be upgraded to their Ocean View Villa and I have the ocean right at my doorstep! Really count myself very very lucky to get the comp nights here because right after I leave, a huge group came in and the resort was running full occ. Did two massages and spent the rest of my time either doing nothing in the room or at the beach. Also had fun how SJ & JJ crashed my room to enjoy the villa a little. 

By the way, dropped my Samsung Note and crashed its screen. Completely blacked out and now I do not have a smartphone to use until I get one.. don't know when. No whatsapp and instagram for a long time! Really moving behind time now..

Moved to their apartment at Trou D'Eau Douce after checking out from FS. Very much a residential place but they have a nice beach right opposite their apartment. Begin my local life by learning to take the bus to the town and toured a bit on my own. Did an adventure and transferred another bus and moved to another town. Even braved myself and shopped in the local wet market which was really fun. Lots of fresh fruits and vegetables and I had fun shopping. Most of the nights are spent cooking for the juniors in the house. 

Going to Club Med tomorrow to meet the other boys from DT and finally leaving the country on Saturday back to Tanzania. It is weird how others asked me where I am from, sometimes I wonder if I should say Tanzania or Singapore.

love, from Maurice

The big 18th

This is it. Today is 18th Nov and it official. It says 19th on the post because my PC is programmed with Singapore time. Three months in Tanzania, what the shit! How did I do it! More than wondering what made me thru these times, but it's where did the time go? It truly felt like two weeks ago that I arrived, but it's three months already. I am due for my vacation but only going end of the month because of the initial opening date, which was supposed to be three days ago. Postponed yet again but we really need to get things ready before we open. Now that vacation is booked, I will not be here during opening, neither the Pre-Opening party! Well, I really need to get away. Booked Mauritius instead of Zanzibar/Dar as of initial plans. Heading over to Mauritius to meet the DT boys interning there. At least I am saving on the accommodation expenses by crashing at their place. And also taking this trip to visit Mauritius since it is much nearer as compared coming from Singapore. Again, never had I imagine I am visiting Mauritius although I know the beautiful property we have there. Finger crossing that I will get a couple of nights in the FS, otherwise a visit to the property would be fantastic as well. Although it is going to take me two days to get there, because of the connecting flights which doesn't match, I can't wait! Even if I am going to do nothing but just lying on the beach!  

Three months ago this time was the first time I met my room mate. I remembered I called her in her room and asked her to join me for dinner at the restuarant in Mt Meru Hotel. Tonight, again just the two of us had dinner at Kulas over good food, wine and beer. Well, how time passes it's already three months. Many more to go, for the better time in Serengeti!

Cheers ;)

A reason to be in Serengeti

Migration

Coming to THREE

I hate it that I am not writing enough about my life here in Serengeti. I don't know what stopped me from writing but there were so many moments I wished I had penned down somewhere because I know soon I will be wondering where did the time go. I am eight days away from being 3 months in Serengeti. The lodge would have been opened at the initial opening date, but now, we are five days from opening! Have I realized that it would be a history making moment! Though looking at the state of the lodge... we are far from opening in the complete state. Just started the tilings in the main pool, extension of Kids Club still fixing, room furnitures just arrived today, never-ending works at the Lobby Lounge and Gift Shop, halfway done with Reception furnitures, Wine Cellar reno in progress, still working on Discovery Centre, waiting for the deco of new Boma, TV Room has no TV, not last but important enough, Lotus Notes is still not up. That is enough to know we won't be complete by November 15th, but it is still exciting day by day seeing the progress. 

In the meantime, a lot has happened in the lodge. I am having a very mixed feeling everyday when I go to work. I really thought with my experience in Kuda Huraa and in my mind of the remoteness of this place, I can do better but, I am feeling IT. I would say it is more than the remoteness, but it's the people you see every single day. Same faces, everyday. And the need to be who I am as I had left an impression in them. Once I stopped smiling for 3 minutes, they ask me why am I sad. Once I give a little frown because something not good happened, they think I have something against them. Even on my day off, I have to be the smiley Sock they know, when sometimes I really don't want to give a shit about anyone. Well, this is generally the case, but there are more things which happened that I can't elaborate. Just hoping for the better, though it's not that bad, so not worry. Sock is still strong and healthy. 

Well, looking forward for my R&R trip come end November! Really need to get out of the bush, yo!

Meantime, missing everyone in Singapore. Not the best thing to put up all the photos of my friends and family right in front of my laptop but yes, looking at them keep me fighting!

Go Sock Go!

Survival of the Fittest

In matching with the environment we have in Serengeti, it surely is a place only for the fittest. It's been 2 and a half months, too long for some. Too many things has happened. We are a couple of days from opening date. We are many steps too far from opening in a complete state. Whether or not we made it in time, we have tried our best to put things in place as much as we can. Whoever is here, whoever has left, whoever is leaving. 

It is surely not easy to survive. Facing the same people everyday, facing the same challenges everyday, facing the same stagnant everyday. Even I, am getting a little tired of what I am doing. But there is still a long way to go, to survive, to strive, to stay alive.

Let's see how much I can do, how far I can go. This is only the beginning, many more days, many more months. To keep fighting. 

P.S. I just got sober from being drunk. Best remedy is to stay awake, drink lots of water, and make myself a tea. I feel good now, time for bed.

Tata.

红色玫瑰

There is almost no words to describe living abroad, faraway from family & friends. How strong it is, the desire to get comfort from the people who were once a stranger living in this other corner of the world. I admit the moments which I desperately turning them into a family member. Afterall, these are the people I have to survive with, regardless I like it or not, right? It truly truly made me realize the importance and how we take our friends & family members for granted when we are back at home. Right now I am sitting in front of the laptop, trying to catch up what is happening back at home through the wonders of technology. Best part of it, listening to Chinese songs! I don't have the most updated list on my playlist but I have a lot of memories in these. Sidenote, there is this Malaysian guy whom I would say its the closest to home feeling when I start speaking Singlish and somebody understands! Sidenote, yesterday I had an amazing dinner of shui jiao! Thanks to the Chinese-mates again. Hope they keep inviting me for dinner! Sidenote, sure I miss the food back in Singapore!

I miss you, best friend.

Always do.

Masai

His name is Issac. Born and raised in a typical semi-nomadic lifestyle in Ngorongoro. He didn't grow up with material items and technology, but rearing cattle and living alongside with the animals in the wild. His typical diet (when living in the Masai village) is meat, milk and blood. Today, he is employed at the lodge. His main job is to keep guests and staff safe from the wild animals. Occasionally carrying bags and luggages - yes, a porter. 

He is my favourite, because he is funny and he likes to disturb me. During the recent vacation back home to village, he brought me two traditional Masai bracelets as souvenirs. He likes to say "You're too noisy", in Swahili of course, and beat my hand (lightly) with his cane. He always makes me laugh. This simple kind of joy is heartwarming, especially when you are thousand miles away from home, friends and family.

Survival 101

It was just last week that this tree caught my attention while I was on the way to breakfast. I stopped and looked at the white spikes grown on the branches and to be completely amazed. That's why I never see any birds stopping on these trees for a rest.

Wonders of the Nature.

Awareness.

Created by one of my new colleague and some of his friends, this blog basically creates a bit of awareness to our daily lives. You may not realize it until you read about it. Not a marketing platform but just wna share something for you to read.

http://www.elitismstyle.com

I had an amazing birthday celebration last night! It was initially a Managers BBQ night which so happen to fall on my birthday. I didn't publicise to anyone prior and coincidentally, nobody spoke about it during the morning meeting! So little people knew about it. So we gathered at one of the manager's cottage for the BBQ, lots of food & alcohol. Then the crazy party started. There were lots of crazy fun games which hyped all of us up. It was good because it was such a crazy bunch! Everyone was fun-lovin'! With lots of screaming and cheering, we didn't even know what kind of games we were playing. Everyone just making a fool out of themselves. My sweet roomie then prepared a birthday cake for me and everyone just sang me the birthday song! First birthday in the bush, and many more to come. It was such a great night and I'm sure we are going to do it again!

Now I am just waiting to eat my birthday noodles from my Chinese-mates!

OH MY GOODNESS.

I say October is my favourite month. I feel special in this month. 

I say 5 is my favourite number. I feel special when I see this number.

I say I am a lucky girl. I have a complete happy family.

I say I am a lucky girl. I have a loving Best Friend.

I say I am a lucky girl. I have a lot of wonderful friends around the world.

I say I am a lucky girl. I have a chance to celebrate the special day in a world renowned UNESCO site.

I say I am a lucky girl. I have a chance to spend this day with Mother Nature.

I say I am a lucky girl. I have a chance to be working with Four Seasons.

I say I am a lucky girl. I have a chance to be part of the opening team in the first Four Seasons property in the whole of Africa. 

I say I am a lucky girl. I have food, water, clean air and a good life. 

I say I am a lucky girl.

I am so thankful for who I am.

I am Twenty Four, today.

With love,

from Serengeti National Park, Tanzania

We, the Culture Carriers. 

 

I never knew how much I am immersed into the Four Seasons culture until today as I facilitated a training in FSITP. It was so easy to explain our Culture Standards even though I went to the class unprepared. In my defence, I was told to sit in for today and conduct the class on Friday. 

It is so easy to pass a day with a smile than without.

A Pun, Intended

Have you ever thought of who gave the name to pedestrian walkways aka Zebra Crossing? A trip of a game drive gave the six aliens of Serengeti a possible idea of how this name came about. We had a good laugh as we stopped the jeep and watched on. I am the luckiest one to capture a shot to share with you - the pun, and the beauty.

I have never realized how mankind has made our own lives so complicated until I begin my life in the nature 2 months back. When I first arrived, I came with a mindset of working in a new environment, opening a new property blah blah blah. But as the days go by, I begin to feel my intrusion as a human, into a wildlife national park. I see and finally understand what is freedom and carefree. As well as the the most basic of survival skills - keeping yourself alive. Though I haven't had the chance to witness a kill, it is enough to know the prey and predator relationship just by being here, right in the middle of Serengeti. If you think a little more, it is so confusing how human is making use of all these natural reserves as a tourist attraction. How is it that we should benefit from what is left behind by mother nature. 

While I continue to live as an intruder, the differences of the work environment is hitting me. So much that I have told myself it is going to be difficult facing the differences in work pace, style and culture, the frustration is already getting into me. I am trying very hard to keep that smile on, only because how I remember once the BFF told me how I dropped my smile as time passes. There is so much going through my mind each day.

The contradiction. Yes, that's the word.

Wedding Bells, too much?

I hate I hate I hate to say I am at the age that my friends are getting married and I am one of those who is single and no intention of getting hitch anytime soon! One of the tops on my news feed is the proposals & weddings of people of my age. No offense on all the lovey dovey couples and I am indeed happy for those who has found your true love, and you truly want to spend the rest of your life with. Congratulations! But me after being single for a while, my perspective of marriage is changing, very much.

Recently, I have always feel that the stable couples who are engaged and soon to be married are in-their-own-world. Of course if you have found someone who can give you stability in your life (assuming you are only mid-20s and you know what is stability and what you want in the next 50 years of your life). Yes this is exactly what I feel about marriage. It is a genormous decision to make and secure your life to someone FOREVER. Do you really know and can you really see what's life after 5, 10, 20 years? I am saying this because I strongly stand by the point that if you want to get married, divorce is NOT a choice at all.

Dating is probably a first 5% of a relationship between two person. It is the sweetest and the best times needless to say. Then on the 6th %, you decide to get married thinking you are already 99% certain that he/she is the one. Guess what, marriage is the beginning of your "relationship" - the long time one. And that is when you begin to know and understand the person you thought and seem to already know. But what may happen when the spouse turns 30, 40, 50 year old. Are you the same today as of ten years ago? Sometimes even yourself cannot believe how much you have changed over time, how to accept that of your partner.  

I have nothing against marriage especially I have an absolutely loving Mum & Dad who has been keeping theirs going strong for the past 30 years. They do truly inspire me that a happy marriage do exist. While there is always a but, keeping one in the century, you got to be one tough cookie and accepting things which may not be accepted to happen in a marriage 20 years ago.  The society, the convenience, the temptations. Everything you can ever think of to kill a marriage, it's a click away! Or it's there, it's there, it's definitely there. Today, I am more than happy to find someone I love with my heart and be convinced that that is all I need knowing someone who love & cares about me from far away. And until I find someone who I will trust and give my life to, I wish you a happy and blissful marriage! 

Afterall, it is a fairytale of every girl to put on that perfect wedding gown, someday.

What if we never met..

I thought I'd never love again
I thought my life was over, and..
I didn't wanna face or even see another day, baby
Suddenly from nowhere
Baby, you appeared
You dried my tears
You cared for me
Maybe your love for me
truly rescued me
It's because of you, I was able to
fall in love again
You gave me someone....

It's been a month, can you believe it?

I have been away from home, family & friends for a month now. It is too surreal to be true. But there are a few split-seconds moments of realization that I am in a complete new environment without know any single one here. Not too scary if I don't go into deeper thoughts about it though. But right now, I am starting to think! Okay, stop. 

To be completely honest, I am enjoying and embracing about 90% of my time here. First of all, most of my colleagues are amazing. They may not be the most productive at work but their attitude just made things so much easier. Of course there are a few black sheeps, irritating ones and weird ones. I would say, minimal (for now). Talking about people, I don't know if you can imagine those looks from the Africans when they have never seen you before, yes it is scary and unwelcoming. But once you "Jambo" them, they start smiling at you and "Jambo" back. What a fantastic ice breaker! Of course me being the foreigner, I have to do the ice breaking, right? 

The environment is the next big thing that makes things so easy here. Living in the nature, what can I say. Everytime I see groups of Zebras, Elephants, Waterbuck etc walking around the lodge, I will definitely stop and watch. And be amazed by what nature can do. It surely makes me appreciate life and nature so much more. Something I would never ever experience while living in a city, where everything is man-made, unreal? 

I am also thankful for a great roomie. Can't believe I am actually the lazy one here. It has been peaceful living with her. And trust me, it is good to have someone in the room during the quiet nights when you hear weird noises outside the room. And it gets so dark that you don't even wna get out of bed for a leak.

I received not the best news from my sister yesterday. My 3rd Uncle passed away yesterday morning. He had been battling with his health since he got a stoke a few years back. He was the ever peaceful and nice elder Uncle and we will always be at his place for gatherings with the extended family. I am sure we will not be same again without him. And again this tells us how fragile life can be. We come and we go. This is life. May he rest in peace.

Love,

Thoughts.

Guy meets girl. Hangs out, hold hands. Special feelings and emotions, sometimes we call it Love.
Decision made, let's live together (hoping a happily-ever-after fairytale)
The Ring, a promise, commit(ed).

After getting tied, does the emotions felt before, continues and still exist?
Or just the "commitment" to keep the marriage going.

What happens when years on, guy/girl meets someone else with this spark you call Love.
What happens when emotions overright the commitment?
What happens when the needs overright the promise?

Once decided.
Don't stray. There is no such thing as needs.

If needs is more than Love.
Stay single.

My thoughts. My views.

xoxo

KNOWLEDGE

IS 

POWER

Greetings from Serengeti!

 

It's been already a week since I arrived in Tanzania. How time flies! Nobody missing me yet, right? Left Singapore last Saturday with Qatar Airways towards Killimanjaro, via Doha and Dar Es Salaam. The flight took about 18 hours in total and I almost wanted to die during the flight! Well, I have always hated flying anyway. One good thing is that I was brought to Mt Meru Hotel for a night's rest before taking off in the small chartered flight and another 45 minutes drive to finally reach the bush. Indeed a long journey! The drive to the lodge is simply amazing, it's like a mini game drive and spotted giraffes, antelopes, rhinos and lots of pretty coloured birds along the way. Finally arriving at the bush, we were welcomed by almost everyone who has arrived before us. What a hospitality! True Four Seasons I would say. 

Settling in was easy. The people here are just amazing. Everyone is so friendly and you smile and greeting every single person you see and pass. It's their culture, and in fact they will find you rude if you don't do so. That made the whole ice breaking so easy! Vast difference from city hotels, and I would say comparable with the Maldives property. It's easy to say this is one big family. The lodge opened in 2008, makes it 3 years in operations.

Just spent my first week doing rotating in the department, to get used to the operations here. Indeed it is different compared to a hotel operations. And sure it has a lot of walking to do! Walking from one end to other takes almost 20 minutes! But fun, I love it :)

As I am currently lodging in a guest suite, the view outside the suite is so nice! Basically the park is just right outside and there is no fence around the lodge at all. The animals are free to roam around even into the lodge. But they usually won't come all the way into the main building. Maybe along the ground level walkway, you can spot some antelopes, baboons and lazy buffaloes. Actually, the locals find the buffalo more dangerous than a lion, can you imagine? I haven't had my luck spotting a lion yet though! Hope soon enough (probably next week), I will get to go for a game drive to Ngorongoro!

The lodge has two waterholes; one in front of the main infinity pool, another in front of the pres suite. These waterholes serves as water source to the animals. So usually on a hot day, elephants, zebras, antelope families will appear for some drinks. The view is just stunning! Where else can you find this seriously? But too bad it has been raining yesterday and today. Luckily I am off today, or else I really cannot be walking in the rain. 

Because of the climate, I have fallen ill abit. Caught a bit of flu and now just coughing away. Indeed, it gets really cold in the morning! About 20 deg cel and during the day it gets up to maybe 30 deg cel? But because the weather is dry, we don't perspire (like mad) as in Singapore. I really want to get well soon and get acustom to the weather and dryness soon! I hope that the mini air humidifier gave by NCPB will work wonders in my room! :)

Yet to upload any pictures from my camera though, don't have sufficient to do so. Wanted to do a photowalk around the lodge today but didn't happen because of the rain.. Till the next off day! 

Cheers & love,

Sock

It's time for Africa!

Today is 13 August 2012.. Another month has past since I last came up to my blog. I cannot believe today I am facing a huge thing which is happening in my life. My application to Serengati is confirmed. Yes, I am (finally) moving to a new property. For those who know me, I have been looking out for opportunities for the longest time. I would say it is almost a year since I started having thoughts to move. And yes again, in this one year I realized how to appreciate and cherish every opportunity which comes to your face. Some things, such as this of mine, took one long year to finally letting something to happen. So soon, I am relocating to Tanzania. A country I have never heard of ever until I had to because of how interested I was when I saw this opening on Career Watch 2 months back. And, "relocating" IS a big word. 

Just one month ago, I was looking ready for the annoucement to be made. From then, I get many mixed reactions from people, my friends and colleagues. Not that it really matters to me since I have decided to go and accepted already! There are 101 things to be done to get ready for this move, of course. But thankfully my colleagues and the company has been really helpful in getting me ready for it.

Just two days ago I had my last day of work in FS Singapore. A lot of mixed feelings. Honestly, there isn't many close colleagues left in the hotel as of today hence my leaving is not extremely sad or teary as I thought it would be. But I felt that I had grown more feelings for the hotel itself than anything else. It was definitely hard to leave my first job of 3 years 4 months. I had my last couple of hours just roaming around the hotel, yes alone. Because most of my working time is spent alone anyway. I went into one of my favourite room, sat down and just broke into tears. I was reminded of all the hard times I have been through at work, the thought of just surviving everyday, always seemed so impossible but everyday miracles will happen, somehow. I just felt so thankful that I managed to pull through what I have been through, not easy, really. For I started at age of 20? To now at 24.. It was tough, but I am glad of whatever I have done right for the past 3 years. And how much I have grown emotionally during these years.

Although not many friends left in the hotel. But I will never forget the fun and tough times we have been through together. And how our chemistry just became so strong and how we worked together just to get the day by, and giving the best to our guests. Some days I worked 12 hours, some days up to 16. But everything was willing to and we enjoyed every moment of it. Just remembered so many times which I get frustrated and just ended up hiding in a room crying. I was so helpless, but those days still went by. 

As I think and think, I realized that there are too many reasons why I want to leave. Firstly, when it's enough of work at one place, you will feel it. And I hate the feeling that I start to get, which is to get sick of work, dragging my feet to workplace before every shift. That is so unhealthy! And going to work unhappy each day is just terrible. Next is the crowd which I had enough in Singapore. The overcrowding issue is getting on my nerves. I just cannot be living with so many people everywhere everytime. I feel so stressed up that I have to face so many people, so many different nationalities every single time. Maybe the city is getting too developed which I can't catch up. Funny for someone born and raised here, but there is just too much rushing around everytime. Well, maybe the constant pep talk from best friend about getting away from people really affected me too. Honestly, not a bad way, I am pretty glad I am going back to nature and to truly appreciate what we should. Lastly and the toughest, is to love with no strings attached. I have grown a lot in this relationship, and I am really happy and forever thankful that I have met you even for this short period of my life. I can say it is the best thing which happened to me and I have never regretted anything. Short and sweet, I truly understand the meaning of love and what I can do for love. Although there is nothing ahead of us but at least it left us very sweet memories which I will keep in my heart forever. Today, its my choice of no choice that I am moving on from my tree but I will never forget how it sheltered my through rain and shine, provided me comfort and love.

I miss that amazing team I used to have. While I look forward to another great team I will work with in Serengati. Cheers to more excitement and new fun in the wild! Don't ask me anything about the property yet... I haven't been there yet! So I shall let you know once I reach there, and hopefully get connected with wireless soon!

As always, special heartfelt thanks to you.

The one best thing happened in my life.

Regardless when I will see you again,

I love you forever and the same...

Till then....

xoxo, Sock

Six months into 2012. I never felt so stagnant in my life before. I cry for a change, I waited, I fought, but am I really ready?

A lot of times in life, we get too comfortable with what we are doing, the people around us, the systems we live in, the convenience we got used to. But yet our mind keep asking for a change, wanting to move on, wanting to try something new, wanting a different environment. How much can we really give up when it has grown so much inside us. So how about the nots yearning for a change. Can we be contented?

Today I come back to the I.

How ready am I to put away what I have today?

I really want to do something different. I know unlike others, I don't exactly think of just getting a job, find a good boyfriend and get married, buy a house that I can hardly afford, have two kids, finding myself in the same job 5 years later, starting the kids' enrolment in school, think if I have enough money in my cpf, occasional meet ups with whoever-I-still-have friends, talking about the kids and the same job, (okay I am stuck here so shall be etc etc etc...). So yes you get it, that is not exactly what I want... well at least not now. Can I do more or can I do something different? Maybe something to let me give life a different experience. Sometimes things does not just fall from the sky, but I got to search and fight for it, right? 

I am excited and I am ready to take up the challenge that's all I can say..

Whatever happens, at least I tried.

Well, let's see.

YES I WANT IT.
KEEP FIGHTING.

I just need to get away.
For whatever reason it is.

Maybe?

Jealousy.
Apology.

Whatever.

two weeks in the US of A

I don't think I am an adventurous kind of traveller.
My trips are often,
(1) Resorts
(2) Suntan
(3) Beach
(4) No plans
(5) Away from city
and the list goes on...
Somehow whenever I visit a city-place, I don't feel my vacation is "well-spent". For the fact that I don't feel I have rested enough, to busy catching up with what to see and what to eat. But anyway, I did a semi-city/beach vacation this time to US of A. Like how I tell everyone, never would I imagine taking a 20 hours journey to USA in my life, or anytime this soon. This trip was, obviously, planned to coincide with the end of my sister's (aka sockssmellgood as all will know her as) one year joint degree programme in North Carolina. It turned out that the entire family was able to take 2 weeks off to travel the west coast of US. Best part of all it's free & easy, and fully road trip! Just the way I like it.

Gna start of with how horrible and difficult it was to pull thru the 20 hours flight to LA, which includes an hour of stopover in Tokyo. The stopover didn't help much, because neither of us could recover and there we had to return to the tiny space in the aircraft which we had another ten hours of journey in the air. My brother and I were feeling so uncomfortable that we couldn't take the second meal on both flights. And yes, taking Singapore Airlines didn't help much either. Still confined in the small space - economy seats are almost the same in every aircraft isn't it.

For 2 weeks in US, we first arrived in LAX where we finally met my sister after a year! There she was waiting for us at the arrival hall, which she had 4 pieces of hugeass luggage herself and she managed to travel from the other terminal to wait for us. We hopped onto the Enterprise shuttle bus and off we go to collect the SUV we rented for the entire two weeks. It was amazing first time to hop on the huge vehicle, driving on the left-hand side, on a entire different roads with signs & rules we never knew. Best of all, we didn't had our GPS and we solely used a "paper map" to guide us to our first hotel! After we got lost a little figuring out how to get on and off the highway, doing big turns and small turns, we arrived at Four Seasons LA at Beverly Hills two hours later, which it could be a 30 minutes journey. Shouts "ROADTRIP YO!"

We had 6 days in LA, and two hotels. From one atas to the other, I was absolutely taken aback when we arrived at Beverly Wilshire Hotel. We were completely underdressed each time we step foot into the hotel. The place was just filled with gorgeous people, everyone looks like they are dressed for a party, everytime! Yes, morning, noon, afternoon, evening, night. I did not see ANYONE in jeans, and I mean ANYONE. Besides my brother perhaps? This is one place I have seen with most atas people I would say. While Beverly Wilshire Hotel is smacked right in front of Rodeo Dr, every single branded shop you can think of, it's there, most of them double or triple levels high. Walking along Rodeo Dr was definitely an eye opener, especially us lucky enough to see a Bugatti Veyron which belongs to Bijan (one famous mens wear designer) and parked in front of his/the most expensive store in the world.

Super blessed to have Trin helping us out very much while in LA. Besides the GPS he loaned us, you know how important it is to have a GPS while driving in US, really. He was nice enough and brought us around for some sightseeing and dinner at Night + Market. On the very same night we dined, Chef Rene Redzepi who happened to be in LA and sitting at the table right beside us!
There were many other things we did in LA. Mostly sightseeing. Went to Getty Centre for some arts and photography exhibition, Griffith Observatory to see the view of the whole LA and the famous Hollywood sign, Paramount Studios for a studios tour where they filmed lots of movies, sitcoms, dramas, Farmers Market and The Grove for some outdoor shopping experience, and many many more! If you prefer pictorials, go to my facebook.

Drove up North for a good 8 hours and we arrived at San Francisco. Amazing how the weather is all chilly up there and that I definitely didn't prepare enough clothes to take that! Anyway, this city is beautiful. It's houses are built on hilly slopes up and down, it was just so mindblowing to see, drive, and climb! My pictures really cannot do any justice to it. You have to be there to actually see it. Headed to the famous Chinatown and had some Chinese food for the first dinner up at San Fran. The restaurant really looked very - old school Chinatown. And the food, very flavourful, yummy actually. Surely we spent a morning visiting the Golden Gate Bridge and the next day we took a tour to Alcatraz Island, a federal prison many years back. I'm always interested in dark tourism so this tour was my favourite thing to do. Yes pictures, go to my facebook.

Travelled back South to Santa Barbara for the last 4 days of our vacation. We drove along the coastline of the west coast and the view was spectacular! The entire Pacific Ocean right in front of your eyes, and knowing you are probably on the extreme road of US, cool right! Arrived at The Biltmore and finally it's the sun sand sea - my kind of vacation. Weather was fantastic, not too cold and warm enough to tan! Spent one day touring the town area, a very suburb kind of area but enough shops to do shopping. The other day was spent solely on tanning, laying by the pool and sea the whole day! Absolutely relaxing day with sis, mum and dad. That was the first time mum spent the whole day by the pool and dipping in the jacuzzi, #likeaboss and she loved it! Had a seafood buffet feast in the evening, shiok on the endless lobster and cod fish - yummaye! It was just a happy moment to see my family indulging on the FS lifestyle ;)

When friends ask me if I enjoyed and had fun this trip, I would just say it's okay. Of course, the best thing was the fact that my entire family travelled together. Lots of family bonding time and it's just fun to roadtrip, finding out the right route to drive, enjoy the yummy food together. Yes, we very much enjoyed the food we had in US. Although it's the different kind you would find in Singapore or any other Asian countries, for that matter. But in the land of fastfood, it's also fun to try different kinds of burgers, many kinds really - and other junks! We also had a little of conflict along the way - sure we did. Not easy to compromise with 5 other people in the family but it really wasn't that bad. Besides this, most of the days we will head back to hotel by 8pm, usually after sunset because it really isn't too safe to stay out late on the streets. Lots of homeless people roaming the streets and yes, you really do not want to get caught inside them. Warmth of the locals.. em, probably not in the areas we were in. Didn't feel very welcomed, not that I should in their eyes.

So, all words, no photos. That signs me off!

time ticking, days passing.
all felt like it happened yesterday,
yet the love felt like forever.

believing in fate, believing in destiny,
and believing that time telling us,
it was all not meant to be.

i never felt a love so strong,
only with you things will never go wrong.

i look into your eyes,
those which gave me comfort.
i look at your smile,
that which shined all miles.

i yearn to hold your hand,
to give me strength that never ends.
i yearn to get your hug,
for the warmth right from your heart.

i was brought down from heaven a little too late,
but will never forget that fateful date.


With ♥,

LOS ANGELES

SAN FRANCISCO

SANTA BARBARA

CHECKED!

TICK TOCK TICK TOCK

I AM FIVE DAYS AWAY FROM MY NEXT VACATION TO LA, SANFRAN & SANTA BARBARA. ESPECIALLY EXCITED BECAUSE - IT HAS BEEN FOREVER SINCE THE WHOLE FAMILY TRAVELLED TOGETHER - I'M FINALLY TREATING THE ENTIRE FAMILY TO A FULLY-FOUR SEASONS VACATION - BEEN NINE MONTHS SINCE I LAST SAW MY DEAREST SISTER, TAN SOCK KENG aka SOCK KENG TAN.

YES IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LAST SAW HER THAT... I AM GETTING BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH JUST BY THINKING I WILL SEE HER NEXT MONDAY AT LAX AIRPORT! PLUS, I HAVE YET TO PLAN ANYTHING FOR THE ENTIRE TRIP. BUT I AM SO SO SO LUCKY TO HAVE THE AWESOME FRIEND IN LA, MR TRIN, TO PLAN OUT THE DAILY ITINERARY FOR ME, AND MADE A PDF FORMAT GUIDEBOOK WHICH IS UNBELIEVABLY FABULOUS!

BEFORE THAT, LETS GET SOMETHING PLANNED FOR THIS TRIP, BY STARTING TO PACK MY LUGGAGE!

EWW, IT'S 1AM AND AFTER A HORRIBLE DAY OF EMOTIONS OVERWHELM, I BETTER SLEEP NOW AND HOPING A BEAUTIFUL DREAM WILL LEAD ME TO A BETTER DAY TOMORROW.

TILL THE NEXT TIME,

I LOVE YOU, TOO.


And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing
You were still here

Said I'm so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

Nothin' you confess, could make me love you less..

I will never forget, how this tree, sheltered me from all the sun, rain, wind, and thunderstorms. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can make me love you any less in this life.

Strike a Balance.

One night... to remember.

And this is how I spent my Valentine's Day..

Never can I imagine one day I will have a primary school gathering! It happened one fine day when I met Wei Ting in FS and she spontaneously gathered everyone on facebook to meet on my off day which so happened to be Valentine's Day. Anyway, instead of meeting in usual town, we decided on visiting the Taiwanese bubble tea shop at Hougang Green which we used to hang out there after school hours when we were young! It's like the best place ever to reminisence please! I was really doubting if this cafe still in operation. But it is.

Honestly, I was looking forward to this dinner. For some of them I haven't met in 12 years. Yes, we are 24 and it was 12 years ago we left primary school. Most of them went to the same secondary school and I went Xinmin. And 12 years on it is only amazing to know everyone in all different industry and fields. Yeah, we covered all. But there isn't so much of distance between us somehow. Although I don't have much memories of my primary school days but what we talked about does ring a bell and it is interesting trying to recalling things which are all right at the back of my brain. 9 other people came tonight, and surprisingly most of them looked quite the same as before! And what's most heartwarming is when they affectionately calls me "Ah Ma" (grandmother), my nickname in those days. I asked them why they gave me this nickname and they said because my thinking was already mature at that time. That was really a Wow.

Really had a great time catching up and understanding more about their work. It's always good to see friends growing up.. Not to mention these people whom I spent so much time with during primary school days. Hope to get together again in a couple of months time.


And so, happy valentine's day, from me to you :)

Love that goes a long way

For as long as it last...

14 Feb, from me to you.

With love,
Your BFF ♥

你也不要我了。。。

Time brought us together.

Late is the keyword.

Remember the love,

I remember us doing this before - an arguement, or you may want to call it a discussion. Mars vs Venus. One wants to talk about it, one wants to walk away. Be glad that we return back to our most comfortable channel anyway. Everyone has differences for each other to deal with. And to put in the effort to talk about these differences. Some people are worth my time, some are not. It is good to have things discussed. We want to resolve an issue, and I hope we had tonight.

I seem to be very tired recently. Been a bitch.

Somebody wanted to punch me today.


Put aside the desires...

Too Stagnant.

And I don't want to be the norm, too much.
I don't know what I'm thinking...

Things are not falling in place.
Things are not falling apart either.
I don't feel I'm accomplishing anything.
But I don't want to compare with anyone.
My friends are getting new jobs.
My friends are getting more money.
My friends are travelling.
My friends are getting a degree.
I am where I am since 3 years ago.
I took a step faster than all.
Now it seems I'm lagging behind.
But what do I want.
What do I really want...

Random, of the randomness.

two oh one one, in a nutshell

it's good to think back, reflect. but it's a long way to think back for an entire year of ups and downs, in and out. honestly, i don't remember much details of 2011, but i clearly remember it was an emotionally involved one, much of a roll over from 2010. it's a year all about people. you know, not much career, studies, achievements etc. but the people - the heart, the mind, the tears, the joy..

four vacation, five cities, twenty nights
spent a fortune on travelling in 2011. don't know how many thousands of dollars in exchange of the time spent living in other countries, and most importantly the continuation of Four Seasons vacation! shopping trip to nearby city - Bangkok, in early 2011. at last! i would say, to finally shop until shiok and best of cheap authentic thai food. come april a three nights stay at FS Chiangmai, short getaway and yet another fantastic memory with Four Seasons. took a trip down to Australia in Brisbane to heal the heartbreak and meanwhile spent some days living the suburb life. the cooling weather was a plus, although it turned things a little gloomy-er but enjoyed the chills. sitting alone by the river, a hot coffee on one hand and kebab on the other, listening to all the emo songs in the iPod. escaped a weekend to nearby Sydney for 2 nights at Four Seasons. stone throw from deja vu Sydney Opera House and first ever solo-trip. still marked as the best trip for myself although i came down with bad cold & fever cos weather was simply too cold. but watching surfing in winter and more shopping is another awesome. finally the most recent birthday trip to Four Seasons Koh Samui. one property i had always wanted to go. everything which falls in front of my eyes was pure beauty of the nature.

and in the four trips, i thank all my vacation buddies for a wonderful time spent. Lyndel for Bangkok, Kim for Chiangmai, Sham & Jack for Brisbane and Marian for Koh Samui. most importantly, these time away from home helped a lot in healing and me spent lots of time thinking. not forgetting the best friend for accompanying me in all the trips.

a new (best) friend
once, i never believed in a "best friend", thats probably because i never had one. but i have to say everyone's definition of "best friend" is different. some say your boyfriend behaves like your best friend. some say your best girl friend is your best friend. some say your Mum/Dad is your best friend. regardless, i've found one.. we can talk about anything under the sun. i talk, and he listens. and when he talks, i listen. we share an amazing telepathy. we think about each other almost at the same time and all the time. he doesn't say much, but his eyes gives me the assurance, always. he's not selfish, he wants me to chase my dreams. he's like a brother, watch me stand up on my own feet while giving me a push. he doesn't buy me candy, but he sends the sweetest words. he's faraway, yet he's always here.

a breakup, and getting over it
the moment it hit january, my heart was already dead. i was sad for too long, i cried too much. i gave up on trying to save a relationship which is not meant to go on.. and of cos finally realizing it too. it took me a lot of effort to completely not contact him, treating him invisible when i see him around. nothing was harder than these six months. every time when i am alone, i will think and i will cry. i felt that the world should end and my misery would end too. i deleted all photos in the phone, hid everything in a folder, almost hit the erase button for his number. i knew i had to do this.. and i did. never regretted everything ive done to keep myself going. anyway we started talking again. slowly, bit by bit. i definitely grew out of it, knowing that there is no point hating him for all the hurt he has caused me. just so you know, until today we are still in contact. not the most, but at least i earned a friend and less a stranger.

same-ol friends, and they are always there
you would have heard of, "在家靠父母，出外靠朋友" every friendship is unique. i wouldn't say that i treat everyone the same, but i would swear that i treat every single friend all geuninely. i thank these people for their presence. i may only catch them once in a while, but whenever we meet, that special feeling is always there. the kind of comfort i can't describe. Saturdays meet-ups with ASKY, drinking/clubbing/house party/midnight htht sessions with the bros, random seafood dinners with One Love, lunches & girly htht with Lyndel/Perlin/Wan Qian. prata/bandung suppers with Vivian. thank you for another year of friendship. i look forward to the next.

farewell, see you again
somehow, a couple of people around me chose to leave the country this year. first up of cos my beloved sister taking up a one year joint-degree programme with UNC at North Carolina, USA. what a fantastic opportunity and i am not any least excited than her. but having the closest darling leaving me for a year is not the easiest deal. not used to the absence of the smarty-pants in the family, and of cos, my roomie. Sham also left for studies at UQ at Brisbane, Australia. we met up so often before he left, accompanying almost my every weekend. having him to leave for Aussie was really hard. also because he is always the one who got us together. that explains the Aussie trip i took in July too. well, all good and he is back for awhile this winter break before he is gone for another long time.

meeting the friends again!
the internship in Maldives gave me the chance to meet friends on the other parts of the world. and it has been a long while, since 2008 that i last saw many of them. fortunately, 2011 was a year of reunions. met Trin in Bangkok while he was on his break from LA. he took me around on a few places in Bangkok, and it's always good to have a local, they truly knows where are the best finds. Cecilia came to Singapore for a short break with her family after her graduation. although we only met for one supper, we already had so much fun recalling about our time in Kuda Huraa. she hasn't change a bit and it didn't felt like it's been two years at all. then of cos Kana who came by from Langkawi every say, 3 months? i always try to find time to catch up with my buddy! bringing her to some nice cafe and we have tea and chat the afternoon away. met Scott & JO while i was holidaying in Sydney. nice catch up with the ex-bosses and it's always good to see them again. and of cos, Eriec who came from Bali with his daughter and joined our housekeeping week's finale BBQ. i swear she had so much fun with everybody.


that closes my 2011. with the new year yet again, regardless if the world is ending or not, it's time for me to do something new. c'mon Sock, let's go.

New travel plans for the New Year?

I wish myself a Happy 2012.