Because It's Just You & Me

Thursday, March 27, 2008 Y

ALWAYS

sians.. Yesterday quarrel with dear again. =( why recently keep quarrel ars? anyway, is quarrel over cut hair. He FINALLY went for a hair cut. No more mushroom head. Then his mum and sis saw him cut hair, say he fat after cut hair, not nice. *ANGRY* WTF! then he say me back, "see la, ur fault, ask me cut so short." Ya lors, whatever also my fault la. ur family always against me one wat. whatever I like, they dont like. Must wait until pamela say,"Michael, u shld cut ur hair." then u willing to cut rite? watever also listen to ur family and friends' opinion. My opinion always not good one la, always not trusted by u one la! u like to be Mummy's boy so much, then why u still look for a GF!

U only wan me to show u the pic, with u and ur mushroom head, as compared to those with ur shorter hair, then u believe me is it? Ya lors, my style different from u ppl wat, tts why u nv trust me one. U nv think of how i feel one lors. like as if cutting ur hair short means spoiling ur image. I really dont like u! Over this, u made me spoil my image in front of ur family. u make me walk all the way from ur hse(Pasir Ris) to ur church there(Tampines), make me cant have my dinner, make me cant slp the whole nite, make me have stomachache in the morning then faint in the toilet! have to force myself to stay awake and take medicated oil in my room.

I think i better get out to work soon, and go to ur hse less often, I think I cant stand keep going to ur hse. Reason: Not becox i don like them. Afterall, that is ur hse, not my own hse with my own mum. So even if its almost 3 years already, or how long it is, I'll nv get use to it. =X

Hold me in your arms
Posted @12:37 PM

Sunday, March 23, 2008 Y

ALWAYS

Well, This week I have been like spending most of my time at Chinatown, with dear's friends, looking out for the cheapest rate to Bangkok. My dad finally allow me to go to Bangkok. =D We met his friends on Monday for dinner. Before meeting his frens, we went to catch a movie, Rule #1. The show is scary, reason being: the volume in the cinema is like extra LOUD? -_-" But I don like the storyline. Both serene and I agree that there are so many loopholes. Fiona Xie became souless, but why does she still have tears at the ending? And what happens to her baby? How can she even can have Sex with her husband? -_-" I don like the part is the ghost was not killed in the end, and its inside the lead actor. I don like! =/

Dear came to my house on tues, we watch PS I Love You. Well the show was boring. But it kind of interest me what happened to her husband. It was touching, but i didnt cry. Dear, his frens and I went to check out the air tix prices and hotel accommodation to bangkok, ranging from $350-$400, excluding expenses. I met Serene on Thurs. We went fareast to shop, and serene finally bought herself a blouse? hahax.. I bought 1 dress too. =X I'm supposed to save $$. =/ Everytime I wan to meet my frens, always got sth pop up. -_-"

I received updates & calls from both PwC and KPMG that very day, not to ask me for an interview. But still, a chance to be shortlisted. I called PwC in relation to the employment application form which she asked me to complete. As i do not have a scanner nor a FAX machine, Serene accompany me to the building to hand it straight to the person-in-charge. Still, i need to wait for 1-2 weeks =X KPMG called me while I was preparing for the certs, she told me that they have a programme for Poly grads, requiring us to work full time and study part-time ACCA. The company will subsidised everything, and cash incentives for good results and performance, in return, a 36-48mths bond. Asked if I'm interested, and would sent my application to be shortlisted. Again, waiting for 1-2 weeks.

Going to PwC building somewhat stress me up. =X I donno why, the feeling is, "PwC doesnt belong to me". I need to be patient, but I need $ for my trip, I need $ to pay back my parents too, I jus need $ urgently. I'm praying hard that these companies do give me a reply soon, so that I can ask the agent to start finding a temporary job for me, if they reject me. =) The weekends was a boring one, becox of HOLY thursday and Good Friday and Easter Sunday. No insults to the religion involved, but I really don like. Why do this religion have so many things to attend? Bible Classes when u're young, every week need to go MASS, Christmas, Good friday- A very BIG day for u all, Easter Sunday, All Soul's Day, etc.

All these days, with my bf in this religion, makes me feel so bored. =/ 4 days cant see him, even if see him also with his frens or family, moreover, It's our donno how many Months anniversary. My mood is jus SPOILED although I do get a chance to see you. If really one day we break up, I think I wont choose a Cathalic or a Christian as my next BF. hehehe. =P You owed me a date and 6 clothings in Bangkok, 1 clothing from SG, ok? HAHAHA, u're my ATM machine and I'm jus so greedy.

Hold me in your arms
Posted @1:30 PM

Tuesday, March 18, 2008 Y

ALWAYS

I have so many words in my mind, but i donno where to start. Am i like too free already? that's why i'm thinking too much? likelyhood is becox of PMS too. Hais, i still have not been to any any interview, which sorts of upsets me. Am i really expecting too much? I'm sure I'm not. I'm only asking for a better and bigger co, which offers slightly higher pay, and am applying for a position which is of my qualifications. How long will I have to wait? What shld I work as? I'm also very unsure of myself.

Next thing is, i have also been very bad tempered. Keep saying about the "Cookies" incident to dear, in fact, I was angry and jealous. Out of a sudden angry with him, take going out with guys to make him angry and jealous. Then he wants to break up with me again. =( you always give up easily. But I know I'm at fault, I am a BAD GIRL, None of u likes me nor am i appreciated by anyone. You always do this to me, u know i'm hurt, but u nv know that everytime u do this, u reminds me of that bastard. That bastard who doesn appreciate me at all. That Bastard who took me for granted. That bastard who ask me to be his gf becos he wants to take revenge to his best buddy, "damien Soh". That bastard who wants to break up with me becos he had a crush on other girls but gives me all sorts of excuses!

I jus feel like i've never been loved nor appreciated. Frens like to take me for granted, make use of me. Parents thinks that whatever I do is always wrong. I just left my phone on the floor! the moment my dad came home, is to shout at me, "why is the phone on the Floor?" He haven even hear my explanations. My parents only like to nagged at me. Why i keep going out? as long as I go out, means i'm out with mike? Why do u all think that I'm "stuCK" to mike? I cant go out with frens too? N of Cos Mike and I are in relationship, of cos we'll meet more often than with frens! but I meet my frens once to thrice a WEEK!

Why is it i'm ur daughter, u all jus don seem to understand the way i am, the things i like to do. I don like to be at home, becos nobody's at home in the afternoon. I don like to be alone. I like noise, I enjoys going out, I want some rest after my poly edu. I know u all cant wait for me to go out and work, and give u all $$, but I really need rest. I'm TIred. If my lecturer can understand, why don you understand how ur daughter feels after the exhausted edu. I wan to go bangkok on a free and easy basis, i know it's dangerous, but i'm old enough to take care of myself too. I fall sick more often ever since i came poly. But why do u all blame this on Michael? Cant it be becox i'm exhausted over my studies?

You knew how my parents treated me. U knew they loved me, but they are not good at expressing their love. You knew that we are all envious of u and ur family, with a strong family relationship. Why is it u wan to take it to heart of my words? Why u cant treat it as i am jealous becox i don have one family like urs? Why is it u cant love me like how u love ur parents? Why is it u always like to say that whatever u do, I wont be happy? Ur Frens are so desperate to go on a hols, resorting to advicing ur sis to go with u all. But have u ever wonder what's on my mind? How do I feel? Imagine u were me, present at last nite's conversations, sitting on ur bed, listening to u all, quietly but making few comments. you don even have to ask me how do I feel.

The sleepless nites, the cryings under my blanket is like forever, from young till now, it never changed. I always like to tok to serene. she'll calm me down, makes me feel better, and most importantly, understand and feels what i'm feeling on those circumstances. Sometimes, I cant wait to leave this house. Sometimes I jus want to be a superwoman, all alone by myself. I know I cant. My flu and Cough is irritating me...

Hold me in your arms
Posted @1:52 PM

Thursday, March 13, 2008 Y

ALWAYS

Booo... Finally, I have successfully completed my course of study for Diploma in Accounting and Finance! Anyway, as expected, GPA dropped to 2.99. arghhh! irritated! 2C+, 1B and 1C. guess which is the better sub? Audit! as usual, my accounting knowledge is better than my finance. I sure cant work in bank de. =X Actually FA shld be ok too, but i left like 35marks due to insufficient time. and PFP, i didn read properly! Company Law-no comments, since it's same as my coursework. What hurts me the most is my GPA!! =/

Now, is time for WORK, but I still cant find one = jobless!! arghhh.. think most companies think i'm a lousy person. =X Actually did get some reply from PwC and KPMG, though is to ask me to send in docs, etc, but it means got chance. =X but they still haven call me for an interview. =( hais... Mrs Cheong said need time, they are slow.

So I am still waiting. Meeting serene and zab and yf soon. Secondary school frens are still the best. Happy and enjoyable =).

(referring to giap's Birthday)except with certain PERSON who is so thick skin and extra-ded(outcast). Am asked to treat it like a SEC 5A Class Gathering and to give face to our birthday boy, but that certain person still have to be so called "entertained"-treated like a PERSON. Wat an asshole. Anticipated to meet up Giap's 21st Birthday, unfortunately, we have to meet him some other days when gfs are free and uninvited guest is not around.

Hold me in your arms
Posted @11:42 AM