Thursday, September 16, 2010 Y
ALWAYS
15 Sept 2010, Wednesday.
Marks my 2 years in PwC. It's also the day for Dear's ORD. I thought through my working life in PwC, overall it was a tiring one. Very much regretted why I didn chose to study first, but it's already too late to think about all these. Nevertheless, the experience in PwC was fruitful, yet I'm still at the learning curve. More responsibilities coming in, that makes me feel so inconfident to become a good team in charge.
I feel I still have got lots of things to learn, reason being the financial standards has changed quite a bit, that I think I need to catch up again before I start striving for my career. I've started attending classes again, but to my horror, I hasn't been paying attention. Something is just very wrong with me lately- I'm no longer the studious jingmei, neither am I the priscilla who always say she needs slp. All days and night, my brain keeps working (Planning for the day ahead, considering my future, nonsensical stuff, etc), which results in my loss of concentration in everything, headaches, and needless to say, I'm much more impatient, throwing temper more frequently than I ever thought.
My thoughts lately:-
Was he ever the one for me?
What has he done to prove to me that I had not make the wrong choice?
Why am I still with him, when I know I cant accept who he is?
Am I really too demanding? If really I am, why not choose someone else whom can meet my demands rather than letting him suffer from all my scoldings, etc.
Why have I wasted 5 years waiting for him to change, when I know he had nv listened nor changed for the person whom I want him to be since Day 1?
Why do I always feel empty in my heart although I know I have a boyfriend?
What has gone wrong in me that such thoughts came about?
Is it time to end this soon? Or is it the signs of another challenge between us?
Posted @7:12 PM