Fashion Faux-Pas

People who know me well and/or see me regularly are probably laughing that I would write a blog post on fashion anything.  Trust me, this is one area of fashion I know a lot about, and frankly find it amusing instead of tragic.  There are some who go out wearing unflattering clothing that isn’t even close to what’s in, but they genuinely think that they look nice, presentable, even chic because they match or are wearing expensive name brands or whatever.  I am not one of those people.  I go out in public wearing comfortable clothing, and I know that I don’t look stylish, cute, trendy, fashionable, or anything like that. 

Back in the Day

I didn’t used to be that way, and it’s still within my capability to dress nice and put make-up on for special occasions, but when it comes to the daily grind, I usually don’t, and that’s okay with me.  There was a time in my life when I would pour over magazines and was very interested in fashion, make-up, jewelry, and all of that.  The first period in my lifetime that jeans in a rainbow of colors were popular, I had quite the spectrum in my closet: red, black, magenta, purple, turquoise, navy, green…  I also had many pairs of leggings, brightly colored socks to mix and match, and wore white canvas Keds. 

    
Part of the dilemma for me is seeing things come back into fashion that I wore when I was in elementary and middle school (such as the above-mentioned items).  It amuses and confuses me to see my youngest sister (who I’d consider to be a bit of a fashionista) wearing tight jeans, white canvas Keds sneakers, brightly colored mismatched socks, leggings, etc.  She looks great in them, but I don’t feel compelled to run out and get similar clothes.  Denim shirts and jean jackets, been there, done that and can’t really figure out why they ever came back as hot commodities, though there are certainly much more disturbing flashback fashion items on the market.  Others can pull them off and look nice, but I feel that for me to do the same would be regressing, in a sense.        

Maybe it’s My Alma Mater

I went to Hollins University (which isn’t an all-girls school where there aren’t any men, but a women’s university where there aren’t any boys—undergrad is all women & grad programs have a few good men).  It is a long-standing tradition for Hollins to have Tinker Day some time each fall.  It’s announced the morning of as a day off of classes.  There are Krispy Kreme donuts for breakfast, then students, faculty, and staff wear outrageous outfits to climb Tinker Mountain.  This legit reason to look incredibly tacky includes a hike, watching and/or performing hilarious skits, having a yummy picnic, and the subsequent community building that comes with such activities.

   
Just so you know, I wasn’t one of the “pearl girls.”  I don’t own a set of pearls, but even if I did, I wouldn’t wear them for everyday stuff and certainly wouldn’t pair them with a T-shirt and jeans.

Nannying Attire

For the past eight and a half years that I’ve been married, my day job has involved taking care of infants and young children as a nanny and/or as a program lead, summer camp instructor, or tutor at school.  I can still remember the hilarious look I got from one of my employers (who is definitely into the latest fashions and such) when I walked in wearing an outfit that I’d put together purely for comfort, warmth, and ease of movement that could be machine washed and dried.  I would not be surprised (just amused) if my attire was part of the gossip at her office and maybe in their neighborhood. 

    
My deal then was pretty much the same as it is now; the clothing I wear when taking care of infants and small children in their homes is going to be seasonably appropriate, comfortable, easy to move in, simple to wash, and something that will take a beating.  Pockets are nice.  Layers are helpful.  Name brands are not really a concern for me.  (I can be pretty hard on clothes, shoes, and jewelry, so form and function tend to appeal to me more than style.)

Pants Are Optional

I have adopted my mom’s philosophy for young children: let them be comfortable and easy to clean up.  Fortunately, the family for whom I nanny is of the same mindset when it comes to clothing.  On a normal day, the twins go from their pajamas into a Onesie (which for those of you who don’t know is basically a baby bodysuit).  A diaper and Onesie are pretty much what they wear every day unless we go for a walk or go out somewhere and more layers are needed.  Vivi often hangs out in her nightgown or a T-shirt and a pair of Pull-ups.  If you come to hang out with us and are under the age of 5 years old, pants are optional upon entry.  That’s not to say that there aren’t some days when you’ll come in and see babies in pants, it’s just to say that comfort, warmth, and being able to move, roll, bounce dance, fling food, get stinky, get messy, etc. are most important. 

My Wardrobe

I have a number of hand-me-ups, downs, overs…in my closet that I wear regularly.  Several sweaters, a pair of jeans, and a pair of khakis are from my youngest sister. I held onto a couple pairs of workout pants from my dad.  I was delighted to be given a hand me over comfy red fleece with pockets from my best friend from high school, and I’ve added a number of Goodwill finds still in very good condition…you get the idea. 

   
I do own some nice clothes, but I don’t find that they’re quite conducive to rolling with the down and dirty little people crowd.  It is not uncommon for me to be spit at, drooled on, sprayed upon, splattered with food and/or paint.  I frequently collect a pocket full of trash given to me by sticky hands while engaging in the seemingly endless process of cleaning bottoms and wiping noses.    

    
I can still remember getting strange looks when I ran errands one day after work.  I was wearing a white short-sleeve shirt (which I’d forgotten during our time at the Children’s Museum had gotten some green and purple paint smeared on it).  It took me a few people giving me strange looks since I was walking around dressed like a mom or nanny without any children in tow before I realized why they were likely amused and confused. 

Lounging at Home Attire

It has become a major source of amusement to my husband and me how outrageous my hanging at home attire combinations can get.  If it’s clean and comfy, then I’ll combine plaid pajama pants with a flowered top or two solid colors or patterns that clash so bad it’s comical while the two of us are chilling at our place.  I don’t go out of our place wearing these things (unless I have a coat over them and am just going down to get the mail or do laundry or something).  It cracks us both up.  I’m warm and comfortable.  Everybody wins. 

Hair Dos

A while ago I dyed my hair or had it cut in a way that was trѐs chic.  I’d curl my hair and style it different ways when I was younger, use hairspray, gel, and other styling products.  I haven’t colored my hair in years, and I get it cut so that it is out of my eyes, doesn’t take too long to blow dry, and is easy to put up in the summer.  These days, I get it cut at an inexpensive place called Great Clips.  The extent of my hair care most of the time is to wash it, blow it dry, and brush it (unless I’m rushing and miss that last step). 

Make-up (or rather a serious lack thereof)

During my sophomore year of high school, I never went to school without at least wearing powder foundation on my face and having my fingernails painted.  I wouldn’t even go sans make-up during Spirit Week when we had Pajama Day.  I own some makeup and know how to use it, but most days I just put Vaseline on my lips and I’m good to go. 

         

Jewelry

The only jewelry I wear regularly is that which has sentimental value and/or some health benefit.  I don’t even have my ears pierced.  For years, I begged my mom to let me get them pierced, and she made me wait.  By the time she said I could do it, I didn’t care anymore and actually liked being one of the few women who doesn’t have her ears pierced.  I have worn a Nikken necklace for a number of years ever since Kevin gave me one when we were dating as much for the wellness advantage as the romantic appeal.  (I got a new one recently because my other one fell off in our place because the clasp was so worn, and neither Kevin nor I could find the necklace.)  When I am changing diapers and washing my hands a bazillion times a day at work, it’s easier for me to leave my wedding and engagement rings at home.

It’s Gotta Be the Shoes 

I firmly believe that having comfortable, supportive, durable walking shoes is important.  I am very hard on shoes, and wear the same ones pretty much every day, whether or not they really go with my outfit.  Again, I have a few pairs of low heels and dress shoes, but most of the time, even if I’m wearing an outfit that would be considered business casual, I often wear my walking shoes.  Happy feet are important.  I’m tall enough as it is.  It’s hard for me to run in flip-flops.  Screwing up my feet, knees, and back by wearing heels on a regular basis doesn’t make sense to me. 

Looking Good

Just so there’s no confusion, I appreciate it when people look nice, wear flattering clothes, do their makeup, and have a knack for looking stylish.  Many of the fashion trends I’ve mentioned that I don’t feel inspired to follow are ones that others pull-off with panache.       

    
I was actually really impressed when I went over to bring my sister and her husband dinner one night this week.  She is eight months pregnant and had been getting things done around their house, but she was dressed fashionably with her hair done and makeup on.    

     
I think, rather than feeling really intimidated or lazy for not taking as much time on my appearance as some do, I might be getting to the point at which I can accept that’s not a major priority for me and, more importantly that my sentiments and approach to appearance are fine for me.

Trespasses Against Us John Paul 2 High Book 2

Trespasses Against Us is a compelling sequel to Catholic Reluctantly (Book 1 of the John Paul 2 High Series).  This awesome series is definitely meant to be read in order.  To read a review of the first book, boldly click here.

   
You’ll love this fast-paced second book of the series.  The teens attending John Paul 2 High School (JP2HS) have a lot to figure out as some students begin to pair off into couples and all of them discover that great temptations and grave danger are much closer than they imagined. 

A school shooter who has evaded police is still on the loose.  No one was killed.  No bullet found.  The victim changes schools, but is she far enough away?    

    
Allie Weaver, the blond bombshell who just transferred from the public high school, arrives at JP2HS feeling completely out of place.  She’s dating the captain of the Sparrow Hills High School wrestling team, Tyler Getz who has a certain image to maintain.  His Casanova act lasts much longer than their relationship does.  

    
George isn’t the only guy at JP2HS who’s enamored with the new girl.  When he learns a stalker has been haunting Allie with obscene text messages and e-mails, he thinks he knows the culprit and takes matters into his own hands.  Has he got the right suspect?  Would he be safer letting the police take care of it?   

    
Celia Costain, George’s best friend since childhood, is left heartbroken and confused when he begins dating Allie.  She wonders whether George is trying to protect his new girlfriend or if he’s really more interested in exacting revenge on someone who went too far with hazing him.

    
The JP2HS students must band together to make it through alive, though not unscathed, when they attempt to find out if all three criminals are the same person.

     
I highly recommend getting all books available in the series as you will want to pick up the next book in the series immediately once you finish the one before it.
     
To find out more about the books, the characters, read the John Paul 2 High blog, chat with other readers on the Facebook page, check out the latest on Twitter, and be the first to find out about upcoming books, click here.

Catholic, Reluctantly: John Paul 2 High Book 1

I enjoyed this Young Adult (YA) novel for a number of reasons, not the least of which it inspires me with excellent examples and encouragement to continue working on my own manuscript of one.  The characters in Catholic, Reluctantly: John Paul 2 High Book 1 are interesting and complex.  The high school drama, personality clashes, conflicts, cruelty, and questions are appropriate for the age/grade levels discussed, the circumstances described, and what’s at stake.   There’s a sufficient amount of suspense and surprise to keep the reader intrigued throughout. 

   
Of the John Paul 2 High characters, some actually try to live out their Catholic faith while others are Catholic in name only.  The different personalities and varying levels of understanding the Catholic faith intellectually and spiritually create a considerable amount of tension and challenge those involved to figure out where they stand and why.  The highly controversial struggle over whether it’s most important to keep the letter of the law and/or to live by the spirit of the law comes out in a slew of tricky circumstances.         

   
Many of the facts and stereotypes about the Catholic faith, its followers, Catholic schools and other institutions, traditional practices, and prayers are covered in thought-provoking ways.  The subject of seeking Truth in all circumstances and letting it be the guide is one that’s explored in-depth. 

    
Some of the situations are quite hilarious and others very ominous and foreboding, giving the novel a good blend of the humorous and harrowing.  There are many big questions left unanswered by the end of the first book, definitely leaving room for more to come.  I’m looking forward to reading the rest of the series.  For more information on the author and other books in the series and other interesting extras, check out this website for the John Paul 2 High series.

     
This review was written as part of the Catholic book reviewer program from The Catholic Company. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on Catholic,Reluctantly: John Paul 2 High Book 1. The Catholic Company is the best resource for all your family Advent activities and supplies this year, such as Advent wreaths and calendars for kids, as well as Christmas decorations such as nativity scene sets and religious Christmas gifts for the whole family.
   
This post is linked to the Catholic Bloggers Monthly Round-up.

Because I Am Furniture

    Can you break the patterns of abuse in a household of five where there’s only one person willing to admit the truth about what goes on behind closed doors?   
     Because I Am Furniture is heartbreakingly real.  I was profoundly moved by these poems and curious to discover how well a novel-length story would be told through them in a way that would appeal and speak to young adults.  It’s been a while since I immersed myself in writing and reading poetry.  It felt very good to get back into it and see how forceful and powerful poems can be in conveying raw human emotion, longings, fears, and honest thoughts we’d rarely, if ever, say aloud…
     I was worried when I checked this book out of the library that I might find it more of an experiment on the page of breaking a prose novel into lines and calling them poems, but I was pleasantly floored by this poignant poetry and how well-crafted each piece of the story is—lyrically and in a literary sense. 
     Because I Am Furniture reminded me how beautifully naked emotion and serious conflicts can be arranged on the page as well as how essential it is to keep in mind that every word, every syllable counts.  I needed such jarring evidence that we do a major disservice in whatever we write if we add fluff to cushion the blow or water down the stark reality and piercing pain that exists in real life. 
     I found myself praying for victims of all types of abuse as I read this.  That’s the only way I could keep going when I know that there are people who are actually living in such terrifying situations as this one.
     The fear of speaking out against the perpetrators of such horrifying acts is quite tangible in this novel, as is the heartache of someone who carries the burden of seeing what’s going on and knowing it needs to stop, but who isn’t sure how to end the vicious cycle in effect.
     To read more about Because I Am Furniture or to order your own copy, click here.

Campbell's Soup, Frosted Flakes, & Sex

     With a Respect Life Grant from the Catholic Diocese of Richmond, Saint Michael the Archangel’s Respect Life Committee brought in a national speaker who describes herself as a “Frustrated Stand-Up Comedian.”
     Linda Hancock, FNP, PhD., Director, Wellness Resource Center at Virginia Commonwealth University, has been a nurse practitioner for over twenty years. In her job, she’s worked with all the "S's"- sex, substance abuse, smoking cessation, spirituality, stress, and statistics on social norms. She thinks college students are fun and fascinating.

Bloodmoney: A Documentary narrated by Alveda King

BloodMoney is a documentary I would also classify as a nonfiction horror film in which the most gory graphic images are left to the viewers’ imagination while the cold, hard facts are given outright by scientists, lawyers, historians, and former abortion clinic workers. Far scarier than fiction are the accounts of blood, dirty instruments, infant body parts, cash-only for quick death transactions, and a long list of life-long side effects.

    
I don’t watch horror films. I don’t like haunted houses. I don’t enjoy being scared, frightened, or terrified, but I have a passion for uncovering the truth, even if it leads me to conclusions and evidence that is extremely disturbing.
    
This documentary on the high profitability of abortion clinics, the conception of Planned Parenthood and its current work, the scientific research showing when life begins, and the scientifically and medically verified devastating side effects of abortion is narrated by Alveda King, Martin Luther King Jr.’s niece. It’s quite fitting that she has taken a strong stand against abortion that is as radical to some as her uncle’s was when it came to civil rights.      There were a number of times watching this film that I cringed or gasped aloud, not usually because of what I saw, but because of the scientific, medical, historical, even legal facts given. Some of them I’d heard and read elsewhere, others I was learning about for the first time.
    
What affected me the most was hearing the details about the practices and business plans of an abortion clinic from a clinician who spent a number of years in the industry. She plainly described the many unregulated, immoral, unethical, and often even illegal tactics and procedures she, the doctors, and staff other staff carried out .
    
Also very powerful are the testimonies of women who have had abortions talking about the experience, some of them a number of years after having had the procedure, sharing about the physical, emotional, and even spiritual scars this supposed “quick fix” has caused them.
    
If you are just learning about the ways we are called to respect and protect human life from conception to natural death or you have been in the pro-life movement for years, this documentary will educate you, move you, and likely inspire you to prayer and action.
    
Watch the movie trailer here. Find out more about the film and/or order your own copy at Bloodmoney Film.

Respect Life Dinner: Fall 40 Days for Life Kick-Off

As I’m finally getting a chance to write about the amazing Respect Life Dinner that served as the 40 Days for Life Richmond, Virginia Kick-off for the Fall 2010 campaign, I can hear the song with the lyrics “How to Save a Life” playing on the radio in the next room. How appropriate!

    
On Tuesday, September 14, 2010, over 150 people gathered at St. Michael the Archangel Catholic Church in Glen Allen for a gathering to promote the sanctity and dignity of human life. Men, women, and children of all ages from a number of different churches and denominations came to break bread together in the parish hall. Thanks to the St. Michael Knights of Columbus Joseph P. Solari Council #11172, the lasagna dinner complete with salad and dessert were delicious and served with a smile.

    
Due to the hard work and planning of many, especially Carl, Cathy, Matt, and John Baab, we had the privilege of hearing Dr. John W. Seeds, who is a parishioner at St. Benedict Catholic Church one of the first few churches where National 40 Days for Life Director and Founder David Bereit came to pitch the idea of doing 40 days of peaceful, prayer vigil and fasting for an end to abortion.

    
Dr. Seeds came to speak to us about the scientific, medical and ethical perspectives of the miracle of life, human development in the womb, and abortion. He is the immediate past Chair of the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, and currently Associate Dean for Professional Education Programs at Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU).

An added bonus was the respect life ministry fair set up in the commons. Leaders and representatives each were given a few minutes at the end of Dr. Seeds presentation to tell us a little bit about their ministries mission and how to get involved. Groups/organizations represented at the respect life fair were: 40 Days for Life Campaign in Richmond, the Virginia Society for Human Life, the Pregnancy Resource Center of Metro Richmond, and Rachel's Vineyard.

    
This fall 40 Days for Life campaigns of prayer and fasting began September 22 and go through October 31 in a record 238 locations in the US, Canada, Australia, England, Northern Ireland and Denmark. Check out the main website for the location nearest you.

    
My mom, Ann Niermeyer, is heading up Richmond’s fall 40 Days for Life prayer vigil. Check out our local 40 Days website and sign-up to pray an hour or two.

Mirror Images versus Made in His Image

It’s quite amusing to watch kids checking themselves out in a mirror. They smile, make funny faces, flex their muscles, and enjoy seeing how they look from different angles. The only time recently when I’ve had that sort of elated reaction when looking in a mirror has been when I’m holding a little one or when Kevin comes up behind me and makes silly faces.
    
When I look in the mirror, I’m more likely to notice the dark circles under my eyes, the blemishes on my face, the off-center slant of my nose…than I am to marvel at my appearance.
    
I was disturbed by my reflection in the full-length mirror in our hotel room. I could see all my muscles in need of toning, clear evidence in my legs that I have poor circulation and don’t exercise often enough, and was forced to face a number of flaws from head-to-toe that made me tempted to put on pants and long sleeves rather than exit our room wearing my swimsuit. One consolation is that we were several hours from home, and I’d likely never run into the people who saw me ever again.
    
Kevin found my thoughts about all of this to be unreasonable. My dear husband couldn’t understand why I became discouraged. For that, I’m grateful. If he’d been standing behind me pointing out all of the physical flaws I’m already aware of, it would have only made things worse. Fortunately, he sees me through the eyes of love. He actually likes that I’m curvier now than when we first met. My love isn’t blind. He knows I could tone up and firm up in places, yet that’s not what he sees first when he looks at me.
   
It’s rather baffling to me when other people who are very attractive aren’t happy with their looks. I wonder why they can’t see what other people see when they look at them. I also find it fascinating that other people who some would consider homely are perfectly content with their looks.
    
The only way to find the healthy place between feeling ugly and being vain is to remember that we are each made in the image of God. Regardless of what we see or think when we look in the mirror (or what others view or think when they look at us), God sees each of us as beautiful, precious, and lovable all the time. It’s even easier for Him to perceive and admire our physical likeness to Christ than it is for us to identify the resemblance between members of the same immediate family.
    
Lord, teach us how to see ourselves and others the way You see us. Remind us that Your view of us is even more beautiful than that which is seen through the eyes of a loving father, a tender mother, a gentle spouse, a long-time friend… Help us to accept Your view of us and reach out to others to show how it is You see them. Amen.

Do I Have to Go?

I consider any book a must-read that makes someone like me who would already answer the question in the book’s title with a resounding, emphatic Yes! even more interested in participating in the Mass. As a cradle Catholic who has never wanted to miss Mass, I read this book not expecting to learn anything new. Actually, I was pitching my own book idea to one of the authors, Matthew Pinto, who also happens to be ahead of Ascension Press, so I purchased a copy of it to become more familiar with what he writes and publishes.
   
I was pleasantly surprised when this relatively short, easy-to-read book included information about the Mass and Church history which I hadn’t come across elsewhere. I thought a book with a title including a question you’d expect to hear as a whine coming out of a teen’s mouth, a cover with an adolescent still in bed (presumably on a Sunday morning), and a question-and-answer format very much geared towards teens and young adults wouldn’t teach me anything new or make a devout Catholic even more drawn to the blessing of the Mass. Once in a while, it’s nice to be proven wrong.
     
Do I Have To Go? covers the basics of what’s behind the things that are said and done at Mass, but it also include quotes from Scripture and saints about the significance of the Mass in terms of life, spirituality, and growing closer to God.
    
I highly recommend this book for teens, young adults, and those who work with them, but I’d also give it to adults who have fallen away from the Church or who have just come into it and could use some extra info on the importance and draw of participating in Mass.
   
You can purchase this book here.  I wrote this review of Do I Have To Go? for the Tiber River Blogger Review program.  Tiber River is the first Catholic book review site, started in 2000 to help you make informed decisions about Catholic book purchases.  I receive free product samples as compensation for writing reviews for Tiber River.