I am people, too

oh.. i remember that day when MinaV said.. one thing you learn in life is to ask. You never know until you ask.

Alright, sometimes i cant help but grumble about EricB. He wanted me to be successful in certain initiative yet he also needs to realize that i need management pokes from their end. sigh. I know. i could be asking a bit more but i don't really see his end of effort. how can i be convinced that he is a good manager to work for?

I kept thinking. Some day if i get to talk to EricW in a deeper manner, I might ask him why those first level manager sucks? Apparently BillF is one of the best managers around nowadays. Man, i miss BillF for sure.

also, i find work can be really political. Btw, today a nice word from MikeI.

Ingle, Mike (ICE Lab/San Diego) [1:50 PM]:

Tomorrow let's discuss your email AWST question from yesterday - Discuss: AWST/koga/crusting schedule

Ng, Lian Yean [1:50 PM]:

yup. thank you. i thought people might get annoyed if we discuss

sounds good!

Ingle, Mike (ICE Lab/San Diego) [1:52 PM]:

People must learn to be strong :) Irritation is good for them

Ng, Lian Yean [1:54 PM]:

true. otherwise i will be the one who gets frustrated and annoyed :D

Ingle, Mike (ICE Lab/San Diego) [1:54 PM]:

You are people, too.

Finally, they acknowledge i am a human, TOO. :)

I am going for a run later. My tontito is on his way back to San Diego. Perhaps i need to get him some food uh, in case he gets too hungry.

肤浅

有时候我不晓得有些人是否真的有点势利眼。当你能给他带来好处时他就与你打声交道，不然睬你都傻。人与人之间就只存在利益吗？怎么那么肤浅？

周末爬了两次cowles. 首回与LC和CL，尽管是有点缓慢的步行，但因着之前做了些思想工作，哈哈，觉得很OK。过后的brunch fellowship 也很棒。周末傍晚来了个fast hike, 热死了。不过很爽！喜欢那种快感和折磨。气喘喘的一路上升，很棒啦！

难得也与大家一起祷告然后用餐。不一样的团契！

昨日的崇拜领唱让我有点难消化。不过Tim 长老的鼓励还是让人欣慰的。

好好加油吧！

The Friday that we chat

Mission for the day is to talk to Alberto U. No one is in office, my neighboring cube mates are all work from home?!

Anyhow. It was a relaxing morning. We had Friday bagel session and  i gladly sat with the IHPS folks. They feel more humane and perhaps I know them better. We get into the princess talk and 'how French thinks of American'. Oh, Kirstin C was not as pleased when Jim did not address her princess. whoops.

The moment has come! It was a casual chat. Personally i feel 3 objectives were met. AU and I never really cross-path in the past 3 years. It is a joke right? Anyhow, i was given a chance to tell the story and how i got traded into PTP. He then has some brief background about me and perhaps what kind of person i am. first objective checked! Next, after struggling for quite a bit, i told both Eric B and AU about my current dilemma. Yes, it is not fulfilling and i believe i can contribute more to the company! And i took the opportunity to share my career interest too. Second and third objectives checked!

I am unsure what it entails but at least i am trying to be truthful and honest to myself, as well as the 2 direct managers that is above me.

Thank You Lord for the courage and wisdom, with calm emotion too.

Let'e be hopeful ya!

Cardio Sculpt. Being vocal

Last night i had my first ever Cardio Sculpt 2 Pilates!!

It was so intense and fun eh. Of course now i suffer soreness from my triceps, calves, and shoulder back!! Amazing. Usually i will feel some delayed side effect from CP Reformer Plus 2 only 2 days later. But this... it is pretty imemdiate. I had the class at 7 and it ended at 8pm. Then as I relax by lazing around, i start to feel the soreness.

It is crazily awesome! haha.

How different it is from normal Reformer Plus? It does not push against the reformer barre slowly or in control, rather, we bounce/jump toward a board place before the barre, non-stop for 10 min. AND with weight on your both hands!! Doing chest fly, bend over, triceps extension while you are jumping!! You gotta learn to coordinate your legs and your arms. no kidding. as usual, I sweat like a pig. haha.we gotta 'run' while jumping and punching the weight. oh man.

Then we use new ARCH, a new toy to see some balancing and crunches. twist and turn the obelique. hehe... EXO chair is another fun toy. It allows you to curl up to pike using your abs strength. Then we moved to the barre to train the butt. Wow, the legs were actually shaking while doing the routines. 

Plank is such as standard. Doing it on the ARCH is not easy too. Then we use the leg and hand string to do some shoulder work. 

overall i like the experience!! I think Joey is a pretty fun instructor as well.

Today... i get a bit vocal...

First i saw the new meeting arrangements. I thought I need to be involved. So i wrote to Gonzalo. Then N only suggested herself to be present in both meetings and not all the reliability teammates. I was annoyed by that. I then replied telling them my opinion. Why someone think we are optional for certain meeting? we work across all the stuffs, there is no way that we can be optional. unless you want to secure your power and maintain your territory. otherwise i don't see why you should refrain others from joining. come on, we don't work for you who is our peer. but we work for our bosses!!

Next, I suggested to P that to get the architect to share the arch design details. hehe... suggestion accepted and the architect was so glad to share. You know, it took some courage to tell P my thought.

Finally, i am able to draw the nozzle pattern!! whoohooo...

no more H

Yesterday I shared my concern with MarcR. I am kind of happy that he is not a selfish guy. He then suggested a project which excites me. I gave more thought about it while i ran.

Today we chat. EB never fail to 'impress' me. I am unsure is that really a management style but I am truly disappointed about that. I then told him about the H project. He just swept it away. hoho...

Apparently he does not see 'not being occupied' is a very serious issue. He is OK with waiting. Alright...

Speechless too.

I shall pray for more patience ya :)

Last night, I cooked taro pork rib. I thought it was pretty tasty. I fried the taro/Yam. then add in the marinated pork rib. Yummy. Add in spring onion and in the end with some red label rice wine. It tastes good eh!!

this cheers me up!!

And i had a nice time doing pre-BS with Claire too. hehe...

嚎啕大哭

那天，我竟然放声大哭，约两个小时左右。哦。

I would say... this is one of the FIRST in my life that i cry out so pathetically and sadly.I had an emotional break down. Basically I think i am stuck at the crossroad, not knowing what to do and how to get pass the barrier.

过去最惨的应该是刚交往时，接下来的多是因着一些变扭和委屈而落泪。这回竟然因着工作大哭，觉得很悲哀。

突然觉得自己什么都不是，什么都没有，很孤单，无助极了。从来没有碰过那样的瓶颈，工作失去动力，生活圈子超小，眼前的我像似个小女人，等待爱的抚慰和鼓励。

我怎么变成这样？！

欣怡提醒我说：只要有生命，人生就有希望. there is life, there is hope

我的指望只在于神，因为我何等的渺小无助，我呼求上帝带领我走过这个旷野。我害怕战兢不安。

耶和华我的神啊，求你搭救我！阿门。

2014

Oh.. this is 2014. I hope my 30's would be envied by the 20's me!! hehe.

是的，我希望能活得更精彩，更充实，更深的体验上帝对我这微小生命的感动。
我也祈求上帝让我能更深的倚靠他，紧紧地仰望追随他！

Tidepool. never know Cabrillo National Park has this cool area. We went for a hike!! Yeah yeah. nice. i can still remember how the cliff is artistically shaped by the wind and sea.

Earlier on we went on a 14 ft boat sailing at Mission Bay. It was truly a nice sailing date

OB sunset :)

Next, the cro-nut. a treat post Horizon CF visit