Hello

So yeah i'm profusely sorry for neglecting this blog for the past few months. Life definitely had been crazy, but thank God it's the holidays now right?

And apparently for the past few months a lot of things had happened, and a lot of things had changed too. I think, i'm happier now.

It's like i've never been happier before. I think all my life i've been living in my own little shell and pretending all my problems never existed but, i'm trying to actually get over it all and move on for the better. With love, family and everything. And I think i've finally been able to open my heart to love and to appreciate life as it is. I know this sounds so chick flick and fairytale and everything but, i don't know, is it normal to feel like this?

I don't know.

All i know is, i'm feeling happy.

It's like i'm releasing as many endorphins as never before, and I there's someone behind it.

Ahhhhhh i think i'm not making sense but it's okay.

Heheh that's all, bye. :)

Honestly,

I have a lot if things to say, but I can't put my thoughts into words. They're in drafted posts, messy unspoken words, in my head, and in my heart. I'm overthinking again. I should try to control my feelings. I need to calm down. This post is redundant but i feel the sudden urge to blog though i know i'm only ranting to myself right now. hmm sigh

Red eyes

I've been sick for the past week, i feel so low.

I've been having sore, red left eye for a week, it annoys the hell out of me.

My eyes emits some form of liquid even when i'm uncnscious, and the liquid is sticky.

Now both my eyes are infected.

I didn't turn up for school to collect my report book today cause mum forbids me,

And this thing is contagious.

And my left eye looks horrible.

And i feel feverish too.

hmmm

I'm wondering what i should do to pass the time.

Productively.

I remember the huge amount of homework i have to complete in about 3 weeks

But, nahh i shall put those aside first (contradicting my prev post but spare me i'm sick)

I need an inspiration.

For my Literature project entitled 'The City Limits'

It's either i do/write a playwright (which sounds cool but i have no idea how to do that), a story, or a poem.

It's pretty cool you know, i just have no idea what to write about

hmmm

I'm not sure why i'm typing like this, i innitially wanted to write my post in a poetic form,

But... well i couldn't think of any rhymes.

So.. i guess i shall end here.

I hope i can get better soon, Amin :3

Ok, byebye :)

assalamu'alaikum.

#junewishes

The June Holidays are HERE!!!!! Finally...

So, I do not have any major plans this June, just a bunch of things i wanna achieve. But I do not have an exact laid-out plan, so these are my June wishes:

1) Clean up my room
2) Clean up my study table
3) Learn songs on my keyboard (wanting to do this since wheneverr)
4) Learn how to play the guitar HEHE
5) Buck up on my Physics, Chemistry, E/A Maths. (seriouslyy)
6) Jog or go to the gym twice a week (CHEY) ok lah the gym part optional but jogging is important!
7) NOT PROCRASTINATE ON HOMEWORK COS YOU NO YOU GONNA DIE IF YOU DO SILMI.
8) Do 4 pages of Adavanced Vocab each day CHEHHHH. (i've been neglecting it since whenever)
9) Go on an outing with ma girls/cousins
10) Go camping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (yearning forever)

Hahaha. So basically those are the 10 june wishes I have right now. Hopefully i'll spend my time wisely this holiday. Thank God hoilidays are here! The only thing i'm worried of is seeing my report book, which will be this Friday. Hopefully it goes well. And hopefully my eye heels by then, cause I dun wanna be going to school with red, sore eyes. Scary

Soooooo, till here! xoxo

assalamu'alaikum.

Behind those desiring eyes...

Hello there :)

I know it's been quite sometime i've been neglecting this precious blog of mine. Honestly, i miss blogging, like how i used to emotionally, dramatically, detailedly blog about my daily life when I was 13. When life was much simpler, but was starting to get complicated as I went through a new phase in life: teenagehood.

Now at almost 15 years, life isn't really as interesting. I wish I could go back to when I was in Secondary One, when my life seemed right.. at first.


The SYF is finally over. Well, our school got the Silver Award for our fifth year! A little disappointed at first but, thankful that we maintained our award and we're proud that we did our very best. :D

I was so speechless when Cikgu asked me about my journey in Malay Dance because I thought of everything that we went through, and also about arwah Cikgu cause i was one of the last to talk, that I literally cried(so emotional ikr) until the only thing I could say was "I'm very happy :'D" Lame rigggggght haiiiih, i know. But, it's just that when I thought of it all, my whole journey with Sukma Irama for the past three years, it's definitely a memory I can never erase cause these people have been like a family to me. And if i had a choice, I would never replace them with any other dancers in the world. i love them very much \m/ :)

I'm currently right in the middle of the Mid-Year Examination Period, with exactly a week of suffering left to go, well, at least for now. In the midst of all this, i still managed to find the time to blog hahaha.

So i've been starting to get used to the suckish schedule of Secondary Three life. I'm starting to be better at my Literature woohoo i feel so accomplished :) BIG thanks to Ms Malyanah for making Unseen Prose sound much, much simpler. Besides that, i find myself getting tired easily nowadays, eventhough there's no more CCA fttb. hmmm

I have been greeted with surprising news, too.
I'm not sure how i'm gonna handle this. I just hope somehow people could understand how I'm trying to deal with it. If only they could step into my shoes and walk around with it. See how i think, and feel. I feel suckish and very sorry to be mean now just so that I could not hurt tht someone further. hmm I guess karma somehow has its ways around me. Life ain't fair anways. I just somehow wish things could go back to the way it used to be.. No awkwardness, no hurting, just... happiness, secret and open.

Sometimes I think i've lost my muchness, you know like an asset about me that makes my life interesting, cos i find myself to be much of a bore nowadays haha. I feel myself so caught up with anything and everything. As you can see the tone of my post is rather monotonous right right right.

I need to lossen up, yeah.
Soon, soon. Now exams must drown myself in all the notes and textbooks with the hope that it will all pay off, seriously. The papers have been downright tough I feel so dead. Hmm crosses fingers the upcoming Papers won't kill me inside. Amin. :)

So, now it's Saturday, used to be the best day of the week, but now it's the most boring day of the week. Madrasah was rather fun though, we talked about prejudice. Now I finally know what that word means lols. Ok side that. I planned to lay off the studying for today, or for now at least. I'm not sure if it's a smooth move since it's the pressurising Exams period, but I guess I really need this time to... relax. People do need to relax sometimes, right? yes. haha ok i just answered my own rhetorical qn wth.

So..... to anyone who happens to be reading this right now. YOU, yes you: I shall end my post here. It's rather long one isn't it? Haha ok i should stop talking. byebye!

assalamu'alaikum.