Habituation

It has been a rather emotionally tiring week, even though i haven't really been that busy besides work.. Not anyone else's fault other than mine. Maybe one problem is that i'm not busy enough - not doing much reading or professional development, so got more time to stone in front of the tv or let my thoughts run wild :P Been thinking of finding other "CCA"s to make sure i'm not wasting my time away.

Last night's care-cell was a great reminder of God's continued guidance and protection in our lives, just as He was there in the form of the pillar of cloud and fire for the Israelites when they were wandering around in the desert those 40 years. We wonder how the Israelites could still fall into sin so much despite having clear and undisputable evidence of God's presence throughout that period. Then we figured that they might have just gotten used to it, and started taking the cloud by day and the fire by night for granted. Just like how we as a longer-time Christian might "get used" to the Holy Spirit's presence and not even notice Him anymore.. Then we might find that it gets easier to ignore His still soft voice through our conscience, helping us to make the right decision each time we're at the cross-roads deciding, even if it's as simple as deciding whether to speak our mind or shut our mouth.

Guilty...

...of inflicting grievous bodily harm

For almost the first time in my life, i have gone through first-hand experience of what James says in the Bible about the power and poison of the tongue. How true it is that words can really cut like a knife, and once spoken, can never be taken back.. And isn’t it ironic that we most often hurt the ones who are dearest to us, in the cruelest way possible. I don’t really consider myself a quick-tempered or sharp-tongued person, but yesterday i said some things which on reflection are so childish and bourne out of the most vindictive spirit. And now of course, the day after, i regret the words so much and wish they had never come out of my mouth, which is as futile as wishing a weapon had never inflicted a wound.

Why does it seem that the daily walk doesn’t really get easier? How is it that after so many years of calling Christ as Lord i still succumb to temptation in the blink of an eye? How much I yearn to live out what it says in Colossians 3:12-14:

“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

…Isn’t it true how we so easily take God’s abounding grace and forgiveness for granted, and almost expect our fellow man to react in the same way? Maybe my worst fear is that i might push the boundary and test the limits so far to the extent which cannot be forgiven…