Every Christmas since I can remember my Mom would buy a special book that we would read as a family on Christmas Eve. Most of the time it was a Christmas themed book but sometimes it was just an uplifting tale. Even after we married and moved away, we still received the family Christmas book each year. It was a wonderful tradition and every year we would look forward to our new book and the special message my mom would write in the front cover. The last Christmas before she passed, she gave us each a book titled, "Wherever you are, my love will find you" by Nancy Tillman.
It's a beautiful book but one I haven't read all that often. I'm not sure if it's because it was the special Christmas book or because it was the last of these from my Mom, but whatever the reason it's lied dormant on the bookshelf. I actually haven't seen or thought of the book in quite some time. Tonight, however, as I was putting my daughter to sleep, it was lying on her bedroom floor. She has never once cared for or wanted to read this book. Ever. Until tonight. And as I sat next to and read it to her, on the anniversary of my mother's death, I couldn't help feeling like it was a special gift and message directly from my Mom to us. A tender mercy. Here are the words of the book:
I wanted you more than you will ever know, so I sent love to follow wherever you go.
It's high as you wish it, it's quick as an elf, you'll never outgrow it. It stretches itself.
So climb any mountain, climb up to the sky, my love will find you, my love can fly.
Make a big splash, go out on a limb, my love will find you, my love can swim.
It never gets lost, never fades, never ends. If you're working, or playing, or sitting with friends.
You can dance 'til you're dizzy, paint 'til you're blue, there's no place, not one that my love can't find you.
And if someday you're lonely or someday you're sad, or you strike out at baseball or think you've been bad.
Just lift up your face, feel the wind in your hair, that's me, my sweet baby, my love is right there.
In the green of the grass, in the smell of the sea, in the clouds floating by, at the top of a tree.
In the sound crickets make at the end of the day, you are loved, you are loved, you are loved, they all say.
My love is so high and so wide and so deep, it's always right there, even when you're asleep.
So hold your head high and don't be afraid to march to the front of your own parade.
If you're still my small babe or you're all the way grown, my promise to you is you're never alone.
You are my angel, my darling, my star and my love will find you wherever you are.
Thank you, Mom, for telling me you love me and are there for me, even now.
