Wednesday, January 2, 2013 ♥
to you ; Wednesday, January 02, 2013
How would you feel when you didn't know the person but the person whom you love just jumps at you and to warn you if anything happens to that girl it will be your fault?
how would you feel when you fround out the 3rd party knew about your existence but yet shamefully tries to snatch the one who meant the most to you?
and you still beg her to spare you and your heart to leave your relationship alone?
and how would you feel when after being found out she didn't leave him but yet still gives stupid excuse that 'I promise to meet him' after she promise to leave?
and how would you feel when she advise you to let go of your relationship like how she did to her previous?
and how would you feel when the one you love found out you spoke to her but never thought of how much have you thrown away to beg the 3rd party to leave because he meant more than your pride but instead cast you aside and stayed at her house and left you waiting in the cold for his return.?
how would you feel when you tried to make him stay but instead he pull punches at you thn leave you in pain?
how would you feel when he told you that if you existed then she will exist knowing that you would choose the stupiest to be dumb and share?
but how you feel when you found out that after all that the 3rd party put you through she still ask the one you love to continue being with her even without status?
how would feel when you begged him not to go thailand with her and you said you will find all the money to go, but he refused and you had to lived with it?
how would you feel when your man is showing off the gift from the 3rd party that you can't afford?
to that shameless 3rd party.. why can't you find your own man? why must you sabotage my relationship? why can't you just shut up and leave?
you held on because he said that he will never love her but as time passed you felt that you became their 3rd party you were just someone who barged her way in even though there is no longer any room for your existence but you get confuse at times because in midst of the cold there is some warmth that led you to hold on.
sometimes you just want to find to courage to stage your own sucidal and leave him a note which says.
I am sorry I becaused I wanted the kind of attention from you but was unable to get so I just pretended all the nice messages from other guys were the words coming from you.
I slept with no one but I went out partying because I needed to stop thinking the fact that you can live well without me when I am unable to without you.
I am not sure how can the lie's that I staged can be more sinful than the faith that you have violated that I have in you? I tried to live without you but I still run back to you hopelessly.
I had to live life in solitary but you still continue on having a good time with her, yes who am I to ask what am I to you now I am nobody and nobody is no one to ask but I also realised it has been like this all the while and I was actually nobody from the start.
nothing original you took her to do the things you have done with me and too her to more places that you have gone with me.
I became just dust.
one thing I believe no one will ever love you more than I did, I might have been a losu girlfriend but I never doubt myself being a good wife because I want to be more than a girlfriend to you.
Perhaps when the day I pluck up the courage to plan my own sucidal is when I feel that my existence is really just an empty show and I am just a soul I would rather be off dead than to loving you.
I know you hate me I don't need you to know how I feel when I am alive and how much i love you when I am alive and will always do.
PS. The woman whom you thought has betrayed you.
♥
; Wednesday, January 02, 2013
Please Justify what does the true meaning between cheating and lying?
dictionary says cheat means: informal - to be sexually unfaithful, Verb- to practice fraud or deceit
lie means: Noun- false statement made with deliberate intent to decisive; an intentional untruth; a faleshood.
these are the difference between it.
Friday, August 27, 2010 ♥
Words just to fill in the blank ; Friday, August 27, 2010
Remember I once asked you.. Will you look for me if I one day dissapear? you said you will but if I dissapear too far than it will be hard but you will try... I was happy even though I know you just answered me for the sake of doing so because you will forget this as soon as the conversation ends for the night... Because even if I turn away to cry there will be no warmth hug or soft words from you it all feels just like a military strictness but still I stayed on why? Because that's just you and I love you just the way you are whether you ate good or bad I just love you if I have to choose between loving you and living I will use my last breath to love you....
Wednesday, August 25, 2010 ♥
My love ; Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Hello blog I am back for a short visit guess u must have thought I forgotten about u but nope you r my only confident now...
I am really at lost... No 1 seems to love me the way I am but somehow when I try changing bad things always happen... Is it retribution or is it curse? I don't know but what I do know is I love my boyfriend very much but I just can't seems to make him feel that security from me... And every now and then I try perfecting myself in every way possible but everytime the situation is not in my favour why? That is 1 big thing I cannot understand... I pray and pray but my prayer were not answered sometimes I feel I am useless I can't do anything right... And I wanted to end my life but think again was it worth it to just end likdat?? The answer is no it wasn't, so I endure further.. I was told that I am dumb to endure but I feel tht if there is 1% hope it's still hope there is still s chance if u don't take it I will regret forever...tell me god what am I to do pls bless my prayers hais...
Labels: Love story
Thursday, July 1, 2010 ♥
I hope for a shooting star ; Thursday, July 01, 2010
Everytime I open my eyes all I see are the same old things but everytime I looked at my phone, it keeps my alive because I know I will always be receiving another of ur most wonderful messages, but sometime it juz had to get ugly I don't know y... But I can only hope it gets better... But you juz don't knw how wonderful n special u r to me... Regardless of wht the future awaits I am not leaving n I hope n pray with all my heart that u won't leave me too because baby I juz loved u too much....
Tuesday, April 6, 2010 ♥
unknown problem... ; Tuesday, April 06, 2010
been weird..... its like a moment of sunshine next moment of thunderstorm... thats how my mood transform these days... no idea why and I dont wish for this to happens too =( its just not the old me... i wonder where have I gone to... I am starting to dislike alot of things... a sudden change I wanna run and hide because some things are hopeless.. depressive thoughts are coming in.... I dont like... all are sudden influence maybe due to environmental issue.... hated alot of stuff but angry I cannot do so much to settle it....
Labels: why cant I run
Thursday, March 11, 2010 ♥
The classic words ; Thursday, March 11, 2010
I once Dreamt the most beautiful deam about you and me.... but now I realise I am one of those idiots who don't understand about dreams and reality... because dreams are MY reality and NOT reality.... I used to be one of those hopefuls looking up in the sky and always hoping for miricles but now when I look up all I ever did was to pray that I cannot loose you.....
I put my own fate in my own hands even if it betrays me I have no say because I was played my game throwing 'ALL IN'
Labels: I love you even if I have to die in your game...
