For the first time, I didn't go out with my class to celebrate the end of papers, but seriously where did everyone go?Ö

Venturing out of Marymount toilet in changed clothes is never a good idea because hoards of people walk through those mrt gantries and they caterwauled. Lol it was quite a paiseh moment but idc(:

Lunch was at this amazing place at OC called the Ochre! I was pleasantly surprise to find out that he's been planning it since before CTs:D The ambience and company was <3

And the food, oh glorious food! Had appetizers consisting of 6 small things that included ham, bacon, salad, some tofu thingy and something else equally yummy. And shared a pizza and pasta! For the first time, red wine joined the rest of the food in my belly. We toasted to everything and anything, serious and retarded hahaha it was quite alot of fun(:

It hasn't been easy but we'll do fine(: I read xx's blog on trust and I realized how vulnerable one can be when one decides to rule his world based on his heart rather than his brain. Hm.

And for now, I shan't think about the results or how badly I screwed Chem because there was this question that was so easy but I didn't read it grr.

FINALLY CAN SLEEP IN TMR YIPPEE
For you who texted me asking me how the paper was and wishing me good luck everyday, I hope you know how much I appreciate it.

Was going through a rough night yesterday so didn't manage to prepare properly for math today.

And I didn't know functions was tested.

Anyway so Anisha/I walked out feeling damn sian (but she'll prolly do better than me anyway) then Cheryl came alond and said the funniest shit ever that made us laugh for like 3 min straight

"Eh idk how to do one question leh"

One! ONE!!!! HAHAHAHA I COULDN'T DO HALF THE PAPER -shotgun to head-

This morning was quite amusing cos I was w py and talking to him about lifeprobz when I starte tearing, then zixuan was like "psst Amanda crying ah" to py then when i dropped a tear Weijie dramatically lifted up his math paper to cover his face

The awkward social behavior to a hormonal crying girl is rather intriguing, don't you think?

Maybe I've learn to derive joy from pain

S&M

How much strength will you invest
To fight a losing battle
How many words will you speak
To people who turn a deaf ear
How many hands will be offered
Only to push you back down
Stand on your own two feet
Even when you don't feel like you can
Because only by doing that
You will know you're so much stronger inside
Don't be afraid to lean on someone
As you catch your breath

Am pretty fucked for econs.

Oh nozzzz it's tmr:(( sigh can't really concentrate fully with so many things on my mind but I hope I won't disappoint myself and the people who has faith in me:(

STRESS AH!

I sent an email earlier to Soup Spoon to request a new card, but I had to make a purchase before emailing them again. So I dug up the old email and this is what the reply was:

Hi Amanda,

Greetings from The Soup Spoon,

blablabla

Warmest regards

Yenny Bow - Souperholic Club Team

When I wanted to reply,

Dear Mr Bow Ms Bow

FUUUUU androgynous names >(

It's so hard to live with expectations
Even if they're your own

I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it

If life was full of moments
It would be hard to find one

The problem with memorizing and being overfamiliar with two numbers (bf's and bff's) is that I SEND WRONG MESSAGES TO THE WRONG PEOPLE

OMG

Cheryl: ____ thinks the picture of the half naked PE teacher is hot (edited for concision if there's such a word)
Me: OH GOOD LORD NO. LUCKILY NO MORE PE LESSONS HAHAHAHA OMG ALL I CAN THINK OF IS "HE WAS HALF NAKED ARGHHHHHHHHHH"

THE PROBLEM WAS, I DID NOT SEND THAT TO CHERYL

Okay I guess the good thing was that I wasn't saying anything that he couldn't have read so.

ARGHHH no where to hide face

OMG GAIZ MR LIM IS IN UBAN

HALF NAKED

OH GOD CANNOT BE UNSEEN

Please give me strength.

Time to stand up and walk away from my history
One that was filled with misery
Keeping only the good ones as memories

To people who thinks they know my stories because of my name: you don't know anything. You don't know what I've been through, so stop talking as if you do. It is fucked up. Do I look like the girl who has everything, the girl who doesn't care?

Forgiving easily and trusting easily does not make me easy

5 months more, I don't see the need to prove you wrong

I will probably never see any of you for the rest of my life

How far would you go to chase pavements?

Choose a wrong path at a crossroad and you might reach a dead end
What is important that you find you own way back

Perhaps you might find a rabbit hole, and you should just look through the looking glass
Finally found the rabbit in the rabbit hole, hopefully tomorrow after talking I'll be able to let him go free

It's not as easy as it seems. If only you knew how hard I'm trying to not let the flickering courage go out like a candle in the wind

But I have a lot to be thankful for! Seeing my classmates today (especially my gurl Cheryl~) was so so good(: Poor Anisha is still sick GET WELL SOON! Too much to catch up on

Still feels like a dream, it's so surreal. I can't believe it actually happened, I hope this dream won't ever end(: With your hand in mine, we'll e just fine, ties that bind

I should go shower instead of posting randomities that doesn't make any jingabaloops

Yknow Facebook email can be activated? Like if I put mine as awesomexz@facebook.com, when you email there I'll receive the email.

So I tried Amanda (as the email ID). Obviously, unavailable.

So I added one additional a after that. Amandaa. And another one. And another and another and another and another and another until I found one which was available!

"amandaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

The strange thing is, add another a behind and it's unavailable too.

I wonder who got Amanda as the ID

lol

Not the most flattering photo of me but the results are quite funny

I think from this pic I look most like Phyllis Quek (looking at feature by feature)

But I look like Mary-Kate Olsen??? Hm.

You get in life what you have the courage to ask for
Oprah Winfrey

My status update was on courage too

With the courage to fight for something you want, you will get it. There is a chance that you won't (and that means there's a chance you will too), but if you don't ask for it you definitely will not even stand the slightest bit of chance of getting it

I'm living my 11.11 dream right now ♥

The measure of truly knowing someone shouldn't be the yardstick of time. I don't have to know someone for years and years to know her very well, conversely, someone who I know for, say, a little under four months may be one of the people I'm closest to.

Started pondering about life because I know that people are more likely to die from a lack of sleep than from starvation or thirst, and since I only slept for four hours last night, I'm probably going to die soon.

And btw I wasn't up mugging (in case you're wondering) lol

No one said it'd be easy
But I won't give up on us if you don't give up on me
(:

Went out with my sec 4 friends today!! It was so great(: And I realised news spread DAMN FAST across our clique (okay sounds v.elitist but it's always the same few people if ygwim)

Was with py before that and when we walked past we saw F! So I waved at him~ When i got to esplanade mrt, Renc Lava Jan was already there! And this world is TOO small cos when I told Renc I saw her bf, she said she knew cos she SMSed him, then Chloe knew cos she was beside him so R knew and went to ask py about it and HAIYOO COMPLICATED RIGHT. Somehow information goes like this: girl-->bf-->bf's friend-->GF (who is girl's friend) circular flow of information lol.

And Renc was kinda mad that I didn't get to tell her personally but I guess I didn't get the chance to bring it up without sounding like.. Idk, a weirdo? SORRY I doubt you'll see this but so sorry anyway:(

But that's not the point! We blindfolded Jo and the others lead them to the sky terrace at esplanade:D lava and I were supposed to get the cake but evidently we both nearly got lost because we couldn't find our way to bakerzin, or to the terrace place (oh dear orienteering skillz fail) but it's worth it cos I think Jo was really happy<3 (((:

Then lunch at Just Acia~ it felt like old times to just sit there and talk:D really makes me wonder why we don't do it more often. Perhaps we get too caught up in this rat race to the top and forget about these little things in life that will always brighten any dreary day.

And I realized guy's pride is quite funny HAHAH Dayna was telling me about how a group of her classmates went out, then J and his GF were walking behind, lagging. J fell down and just clutched his head and his ankle, splattered in the ground and his GF was just standing beside him shouting "Dayna! Dayna!!" HAHAHA LIKE HELLO CAN YOU PICK HIM UP YOURSELF!!!

And we were quite mean cos she was saying how if she had a bf and he fell she would laugh at him THEN pick him up. Hahaha omg so bad!!! I'd probably do the other way round LOLOL omg hope he doesn't read this:P

That pretty much concludes today(: it was a day well spent♥

This post marks how I have ten times more posts than my NCC Air blog lol.

Listening to Disney songs and feeling very warm inside now♥

LOVE The Little Mermaid's Part Of Your World

Can't embed but go watch it (click on the hyperlink!)(:

I JUST HAD THE WEIRDEST DREAM EVER.

We were all having class, then the class is split into two to watch some experiement. My half, we're supposed to go and watch some Physics shit.

So Billy and I walked down to the 2nd floor and I realised we're supposed to go to the 22nd floor (WHY do I even remember such details?) so we took the lift which became faulty after a while. So I had to climb some stairs.

Damn it was tiring, hope I actually manage to lose some calories in my sleep>D

So Billy suddenly disappeared and I found myself huddling with a few other girls and we watched Ms Poh so some amazing flame test. One of them was some bubbling experiment whereby a plastic container was heated over a large fire, and you can see distinct stripes of red and yellow condensation on the cover.

Which then turned into a heart shape. The condensation, I mean.

Right beside it, she was grilling some bigass chicken wing looking thing. It was HUGE okay, like as tall as a man. And the wings were skewered and blasted over the grill with an equally huge fire, then the wings started shivering and had some weird reaction on its skin (some black thing was forming) and then

THEY TURNED INTO PEACOCKS.

And we had to research on that critical temperature and wavelength that the wings (WHICH WERE DEAD) were blasted with, and why they could reverse death.

MAYBE IT'S A SIGN.

Or maybe it's just too much physics.

Oh oh oh and I dreamt that Calvin (Khor) dyed his hair blonde!!!!!!!! Omg so weird la it's not the full head blonde also, it's just the top layer so underneath is black. And I asked him after he dyed it, was his hair v.rough and he let me touch it and IT FELT LIKE HAY.

So gross. (I hope he won't read this hahahahah)

When there's no one else in sight
In the crowded lonely night
Well, I wait too long for my love vibration
And I'm dancing with myself

I'm dancing with myself
I'm dancing with myself
Well, there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove
And I'll be dancing with myself

HAHAHA LOVE VIBRATION!!! What a funny song:D

Apparently small eyes is a sign of infertility wtp??

I don't think Dr Li should have used such a small sample size of those university students to assume ALL Singaporean women mainly care about social status and moolah. That is not always the case. Sure, we like receiving small (big also can ahahah) gifts but that doesn't mean we're materialistic.

True that we go for brands for certain stuff but usually brand=quality, you don't wanna be putting 2,4-DNPH on your face right! That doesn't mean we're MATERIALISTIC. We value other things equally, if not much more, than the mere size of our man's wallet.

Do you know what I'd appreciate right now? The answers to CT2. Heck, the questions would be just as good.

Who says we always want money? TSK!

I was playing back a thousand memories
Thinking about everything we've been through

Just a quick update!

Went to school to study with bf today, and we were surprisingly on task. Well, at least he was, I was distracted by the little cute RI boys whose whispers are louder than normal humans' speech and i wanna crush them, or considering lurking in the bottom shelves of the cupboard and grab the feet of people and hear them scream

(:<

Finally talked to my fav junior today! And we quickly updated each other and he said he thinks I spend too much tine blaming myself for little things that have happened in the past and I should move on. So yep today I made several promises to myself.

Finally cut my nails today too! Realized I always impale my left eye with my right finger cos my nails are too long. Speaking of realization, am in love with this old song (Realize by Colbie Caillat)

If you just realize what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other and we'll never find another
Just realize what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder

Oh today I had a lemon tart and cheese tart and THEY WERE DAMN NICE!!!<3 but I appreciate the thought more((: he said the situation is that a tart is eating the tarts, to which I replied TARTCEPTION!!!!!! hehehe

What a ridiculously frivolous post hahaha:D

WHERE IS THIS BURNING NEED TO DEVOUR EVERYTHING COMING FROM

Blogging is my therapy
Food is my escape

When written in Chinese, the word crisis is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

危机; where there is danger, there will be opportunity; a chance to make things right; a chance to make sure that whatever you donis worth dying for

Where life has no certitude, take a leap of faith forward
I don't mind landing in nutella

Google translate, y u no accurate

"學妹好可愛!! 妳走不同風格了耶"

Chinese to English translation

School girl is so cute!! you take a different style of Jason

And dictionary.com was talking about how X is a 1000-year old letter which depicts the unknown and all that shiz.

So I decided my daughter will have an X in her English name. Something exotic. So off I went googling and changed my mind.

Xiang
Meaning: Fragrant

I was just talking to xmy just now and I realised something rather disturbing.

Yknow how they say you can eat every single part of the pig and utilize it right? Pig heads for hanging on doors, lungs/liver/kidney/intestines/heart to brew broth or for experiments (realization: in sec 3 Labbie and I made minced meat out of a sheep's heart and the smell of it's death lingered on our fingers persistently despite scouring)

And trotters to eat (even though for the death of me I will never figure out how to eat their toenails- are you supposed to anyway?? I'm sure Cheryl can enlighten me even though credibility is doubtful since she crunches her strong teeth on tendons and soft bones (heck they were NOT soft) when we buy the braised meet noodles from vonton noodles stall)

Since you can somehow eat/use all the parts, what does one do with the womb/dick/balls???

I will be more wary when I eat bak kut teh: don't sink your teeth into anything you don't recognize.

My body can't take it. I'm getting so easily irritable and I'm swelling up line a DHL balloon. Who said studying burnt calories??? HUH?? HUH?????

ARGH I MISS SCHOOL (read: seeing my friends everyday)

Like a reassuring weight on my chest

The first thing that popped up on my dash

It's not easy trudging on when you know your life is relegated to studying and more studying, peppered with emotional trauma and mental instabilities

And PMS (both the pre and post version), together with this flu which I've caught from.. I don't even know where. This world is like one giant petri dish and school/home/mrt/shopping malls etc are like bateria colonies.

Hope I can survive it all, then I can declare myself amongst the highest ranks of humankind

What the hell am I talking about?? Mental instability worse than expected

tumblr+music(+facebook?) is my only escape

facebook is in parenthesis because all I do there is to wish people happy birthday

11.11

I wanna run away to Malaysia for a resort too
At least I won't be alone

OMG GAIZ Mr Sim is still using Facebook!!!! He just updated his status.

WE HAVE BEEN FOOLED he has been stalking us all these while (I think) Ö

Except that I think only Cheryl will read this LOL nvm shoutout to you babe I miss you alot alot alot thanks for always being a text away to share all the shit (yuppzz your fav heheh) in life <3

Google's homepage damn cool today!! It's to commemorate Les Paul's birthday. You can actually play the guitar thingyÖ Anyway watch this vid it's very haute couture. I think she's really talented.

You can practically feel the hurt radiating from those eyespikes of hers, and it tears you apart just to see her tear herself apart. Such is the generation of us today, we feel the pain over the Internet.

Which is not the point I'm making here. Point is, this is a song that really cuts deep and yeah. Probably one of my favourite masochistic songs (besides Ocean Wide, depicting a person swimming in an ocean of tears. On a lighter note,I think it's quite cool because I can't swim in a 1.5m pool, much less in an ocean of tears. Imagine DROWNING in your tears. Ultimate sadness. The more you cry the faster you die. But I digress)

This is a lesson learnt , I hate that I let you down and I feel so bad about it
I guess karma comes back around cause now I'm the one that's hurting yeah
And I hate that I made you think that the trust we had is broken
So don't tell me you can't forgive me
Cause nobody's perfect, no

Sister: omg so hungry!
-ignores-
Sis: 嘴巴痒要吃辣椒!
-ignores-
Sis: Not funny meh?

HAHAHA SHE IS LULZ

Okay so I haven't been in the best of moods to blog lately.

I don't think people actually respond well to this change? I don't know. I don't think I've changed. Perhaps the way I speak to people might be slightly different? Or they think that having that status would change me somehow?

Perhaps I've become more reliant on another person. Hm which isn't too good a thing actually:/

But the POINT IS. I don't think how people treat me ought to be different. Why should it? I don't get it.

Been really delirious these few days. Bad delirious. Somehow can't wait till school starts. The house is starting to look like a jail. School is my only escape.

Except when school starts I'll look back at this post and trollol at myself.

Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive

Guess I'd rather hurt
Than feel nothing at all

If you love somebody
You better let it out
Don’t hold it back
While you’re trying to figure it out
Don’t be timid
Don’t be afraid to hurt
Run toward the flame
Run toward the fire
Hold on for all your worth
Cause the only real pain a heart can ever know
Is the sorrow of regret
When you don’t let your feelings show

If you want love
It’s not that tough
Start by giving it first
Horses are built to run
The sun is meant to shine above
Flowers are made to bloom

And then there’s us
We were born to love
♥

Nancy Drew is so pretty and smart!! Damn. Is it even possible for someone to win the genetic lottery like that?

But she's lonely so. GIF I guess lolol. Quite sad that she's so misunderstood though.

Sometimes I wake up and I don't believe I it still. I've never been so lucky and blessed before so I kinda feel scared that I can't handle it if it's suddenly ripped away from me. I'll do everything I possibly can to make this last as long as possible and appreciate every fibre of your being<3

SATs ended only at 1.45pm cos registration took 1h grrs. There's this blonde angmoh opposite me who kept grabbing his hair, and tufts of blonde hair fell out hahah. That was quite interesting cos I've only seen black hair clumps. And he smelt nice! Reminded me of someone. Can't put my finger on it though hmm.

I realized Oprah Winfrey has iPhone autocorrect AND a dictionary.com input. WTP!!

My fourth day and I think I already suck at it.

Ugh.

Reasons to celebrate at the start and the end of May
♥



“There’s some people in this world who you can just love and love and love no matter what.”

—	John Green (An Abundance of Katherines)