Kids Say the Darndest Things

AND THE WINNER IS....

Amy Ellen with M is for Elephant! I am so glad, because that is the one I would have picked, there were so many funny entries but this one made me laugh the loudest. Drop me a line with your mailing address and I will get these babies in the mail tomorrow!


The polls have been tallied and we are now down to the four finalists in "Kids Say the Darndest Things." Once again, to see the entries in their proper context check out the comments left here and here. Voting closes Tuesday evening at 9:00 pm. Thanks for playing!

Like Chocolate?

Check out the comments in *this post* below and leave a story pertaining to a real life "kids say the darndest things" experience to have the chance to win "The Chocolates" that are worth their weight in gold. Come on, you know you want to...

Bringing Up Boys.... now LAUGH

I have tears streaming down my face right now and my mouth ACHES from trying to suppress my smile. Just took a shower. The Rugrat comes in to use the loo just as I am finishing up. He pulls the curtain back a bit as he walks by.

"My see your penis, Mommy?" (my means "can I". )

Um. Sorry buddy, can't help you there.

"Mommies don't have a penis. Close the curtain."

"Oh." He lets the curtain fall back into place and heads over to do his business. I turn the water off and reach out for a towel. Not quick enough. The little Rugrat is still looking suspiciously for the missing penis. Not where it's supposed to be... that's for sure. His eyes move up, like maybe it's just out of place or something. He stops.

"You have belly Mommy?"

oh dear.

"Yes, I have a belly, baby."

I have a whole LOT of belly.

"Oh." eyes continue to wander up.

"You have a belly butt, Mommy?"

(picture me suppress a laugh and then sigh).

"Yes, buddy, I have a belly button."

"You have a BUTT, Mommy. I see your BUTT."

(Quickly pulling on my housecoat)

"Yes son. I have a butt." and I think you have just graduated to the age of consciousness where you are now too old to be walking in on me in the bathroom thankyouverymuch.

Bringing Up Boys... BREATHE.

Here is the antidote to the "panic attack" feeling that followed on the heels of my last excerpt from this book. Dobson goes on a few pages later to say;

"Furthermore, everything we do during those foundational child rearing years should be bathed in prayer. There is not enough knowledge in the books-not in this one or any other-to secure the outcome of our parenting responsibility without divine help. It is arrogant to think that we can shepherd our kids safely through the minefields of an increasingly sinful society.... when our daughter was only three years old... I recognized that having a Ph.D in child development was not going to be enough to meet the challenges of parenthood...

One night, the incomparable Michael Jordan scored sixty-six points and (a) rookie was sent in for the last couple of minutes of the game. When the young man was interviewed by a reporter afterwards, he said, "Yeah, it was a great night. Michael Jordan and I scored sixty-eight points." That's the way I feel about parenting and prayer. We do all we can to score a few points, but the greater contribution is made by the creator of children...

Lord, give us the wisdom to raise the precious children whom you have loaned to us, and above all else, help us bring them to the feet of Jesus. This is more important to us than our health or our work or our finances. What we ask most fervently is that the circle be unbroken when we meet in heaven."

Dr. James Dobson, Bringing Up Boys.

Breathing again B-Girl?

Easy Breezy Lemonade

My faithful standby for when all the other drinks run out and you want to serve *something* besides water. Doesn't get any simpler, economical or more refreshing than this. I've served this about 5 times in the past week and all my guests were eager to start making it at home.

1 Lemon
1/2 cup sugar (I just started using organic unrefined cane sugar and it is extra nice with this less sweet natural sugar).
2 litres water

wash lemon
slice (with peel on) relatively but not too thin
put lemon slices in the bottom of a 2 litre pitcher
cover with 1/2 cup sugar
mash sugar into lemon slices with a wooden spoon
cover with water
stir and chill

You can reuse the lemons a second time by adding about 1/3 cup sugar (the lemons have retained sweetness from the first serving) and refilling. Of course the strength will be dilluted but it is still a refreshing alternative to plain water. We love eating the lemons that slip into our glasses... they are sweet and only vaguely sour after serving to flavor the drink. Try it!

P.S. We like to serve this and other homemade beverages like rhubarb and crabapple slush in long stemmed wine glasses to give it some extra bling.

Banner in the Battle

Still up to our eyeballs in the civil war over here. Not that we are tired of it... it's intense and fascinating, if disturbing. One recurring thought I have had in watching movies like "Gods an Generals" and "Glory" is why on earth it was SO important for that flag of honor to stay raised in every altercation, be it one of offense or defense. The flag bearer was a position of great honor and responsibility, I got that. But until tonight I didn't really GET that. Here is something that stopped me in my tracks and gave me serious food for thought.

"(God) is also (known as) Jehovah-nissi, the Lord my banner. In the heat of battle, soldiers feared getting separated from their army. For that reason a banner was carried into the conflict, and if a fighter found himself alone, the raised flag would signal safety. "

From "The Great House of God" by Max Lucado

That flag must have also provided a resolve and strength of purpose not to mention courage. Blew me away to think that when I feel like a soldier trapped behind enemy lines all I have to do is look up... and I'll see that His Banner over Me is Love. And that's all the hope and promise this girl needs.

Pour My Love On You…

Pour My Love On You (Let My Words Be Few Album Version) - Phillips, Craig And Dean

Have I said lately how much I adore Sunday afternoons?  Leisurely lunches, sweet afternoon naps and moments of guiltless pleasure doing whatever tickles my fancy.  Usually that involves putting on one of my favorite playlists, sometimes doing a little tidying but mostly just putzing… listening to music and maybe working with my pictures, or browsing through new photos at stock exchange.  Sometimes a particular song will just stop me in my tracks and bring tears to my eyes.   This was the song that did me in  today.  I hit the replay button oh about four times, and then spent (can’t say wasted… I mean I could have been sleeping, right?) some time surfing through stock photos to pair with it.  Sharing a glimpse of my Sunday afternoon with you…

I don't know how to say exactly how I feel

And I can't begin to tell you what your love  has meant

I'm lost for words

Is there a way to show the passion in my heart

Can I express how truly great I think you are

 

My dearest friend

Lord, this is my desire

To pour my love on You

Like oil upon your feet

Like wine for you to drink

Like water from my heart

I pour my love on you

If praise is like perfume

 

I'll lavish mine on you

  

Till every drop is gone

I'll pour my love on you

Lyrics by Phillips, Craig & Dean.  Photos courtesy of stock.xchng

Bringing Up Boys

“…our objective as moms and dads is to transform our sons from immature and flighty youngsters into honest, caring men who will be respectful of women, loyal and faithful in marriage, keepers of commitments, strong and decisive leaders, good workers, and men who are secure in their masculinity.”

Dr. James Dobson, Bringing Up Boys.

More….

“If there is a common theme that connects each of these sources of difficulty (crisis that confront our boys in today’s cultural context) it is the frantic pace of living that has left too little time or energy for the children who look to us for the fulfillment of every need.”

“It is my conviction that those who choose to bring a child into the world must give that boy or girl highest priority for a period of time. In a very short time, they will be grown up and on their own.”

“It is not enough simply to be at home and available to our children, however. We must use the opportunities of these few short years to teach them our values and beliefs… We have given them more material blessings than any generation in history… yet we have failed them in the most important of all parental responsibilities: We have not taught them who they are as children of God or what they have been placed here to do.”

Wow. I don’t know about you but I think I’ve got my work cut out for me for about, oh… the next 18 years or so…

Caesar Salad Dressing

2 Eggs

2 Cloves garlic, minced

2 tbsp lemon juice

2 tbsp red wine vinegar (I’ve used various kinds of vinegar depending what I have on hand.  I lessen it for more astringent types)

1 tbsp Dijon mustard (I’ve used just ordinary)

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

1/2 tsp Worcestershire sauce (I’ve done without)

3/4 cup Olive oil.

1/4 cup Parmesan cheese (can be omitted)

Carefully slip eggs into boiling water for exactly 1 minute.  Remove and crack immediately into glass measuring cup. Add remaining ingredients and whisk together thoroughly.

Ooey, Gooey, Crunchy on Top Brownies.

1.  6 oz baking chocolate (I use semi sweet chocolate chips)

2.  1 C butter

3.  3 Eggs

4.  2 C sugar

5.  1 TS vanilla

6.  1/2 C all purpose flour

Preheat oven to 300 degrees

Melt chocolate and butter in the microwave for 1-2 minutes, until the butter is melted, stir until smooth.

Beat eggs till yellow (app 5 min), add sugar and continue blending on low till combined.

Add vanilla and melted chocolate, continue to blend until smooth

Add flour and stir in by hand until blended.

Pour into greased 9 inch baking pan and bake on center rack for 40 min.  Turn oven off but allow pan to remain in the oven for an additional 15 minutes.

Easy Breezy Tomatoes

Not sure if I mentioned this in fall when I was up to my eyeballs in preserving, but here is simplicity itself when it comes to having an abundance of tomatoes on hand.  As my tomatoes ripened, I washed them, set them aside to dry on tea towels, then bagged them whole in medium size ziploc bags and popped them in the freezer.  Now,  whenever I need a can or two of tomatoes, I pull them out of the freezer, throw them in a mixing bowl, pour boiling water over them and literally “pop” their skins off.  It’s the simplest trick, really, you just hold them under the water (the fact that they are frozen means the boiling water cools off to a workable temperature real fast) squeeze gently, and let the tomato pop out of your hand, right out of it’s skin.  Then you grab the skinned tomato, pop it into a pot, and when you are done put them to simmer with some olive oil, salt and oregano to make yourself a simple italian tomato sauce.  Cheers!

Worth Their Weight in Gold... Quite Literally

Remember my bright idea to order my favorite chocolates from Italy as a “prize” for the Name That Cat contest? Or you may well have forgotten by now, because heaven knows, that’s already ancient history. Well I finally popped Mildred’s little treat into the mail yesterday after the most mickey mouse mail order I have EVER experienced.

May I introduce you to....

The Pocket Coffee Chocolate, from Ferrero Rocher. My in-laws always throw a couple packages into gifts they send our way because they know that when it comes to blissful indulgence, in my books these can’t be beat. Well… rather than ask them to pop me some packages in the mail I thought I would be a good little Miss. Independent and take care of business on my own. In the middle of getting my order ready for shipment from Italy I all of a sudden found a link that showed, lo and behold, these chocolates are available in the USA from an importer called Euromart. And looky here, they had really great prices and surely the shipping from the USA would be cheaper than shipping from Italy. Surely!

So I cancelled my first order, hopped on over to Euromart and started placing an order there. I saw that my shipping was going to be twenty some dollars and figured that I would be better off making a larger order to substantiate the shipping cost. So I ordered 8 packages instead of 1. My shipping came to $30.00 which divided by unit was reasonable.

The first hitch was that I gave my address, which is a box number. I receive an email a few days later saying they can not ship to box numbers, and need a street address. Well… I live on a red dirt road in the middle of nowhere. Directions to my house would be “take the retreat turn off from the highway, pass the country cemetery, turn right, turn right again at the monument for _____field school, turn right on the yard with the big red barn and the windmill. I don’t think UPS would find that street address to their liking.

I quickly email them back with the street address for our general store in town, they kindly take delivery for farms and call us to come pick things up. Well over a week later I get another email from Euro Market that they are still waiting to hear back from me about a shipping address. Thankfully they received my second email and informed me apologetically that my first email had gone to their junk folder. Argh. The next day I get a confirmation email that my order has been shipped.

Two days ago I receive a phone call from my husband at work asking me what package would be at the store that would require payment of $45.00? I drew a complete blank. I was thinking Sears parcels go on the credit card… I don’t order anything c.o.d. The only thing I was expecting were my precious chocolates. But I had already paid $30.00 shipping for those, and I couldn’t possibly have to pay $45.00 Canadian taxes and duty on a $70.00 purchase could I??? Oh could I.

Turns out that UPS has discovered a way to get rich off duty broker fees those slimy weasels. If your purchase is $20.00 or less you don’t pay. $20-$40 you pay an $18.00 broker fee, $40-100 a $30 fee, and it just keeps escalating like that. I Googled it and discovered on a $500.00 purchase one guy was required to pay a $200.00 UPS brokerage fee. Can you spell i.n.s.a.n.e?

The only funny and endearing part to this whole tale is P-Guys reaction. Because I was so mortified by the exorbitant final cost of my little mail order purchase, he was just so sweet and tender about it. "It’s only money.” He says to me. “Life’s too short.” I kept asking him, “you’re kidding me, right? tell me you’re pulling my leg here” and because he was laughing (because I was so upset) I really did think he was trying to pull one over on me. The sweetheart. But the ironic part is that if I wouldn’t have been so flustered and upset about it he would have gone through the roof, LOL!

So my eight little packages of chocolate are dearly worth their weight in gold and if you get a little gift from me, I hope they’re worth it in enjoyment! Now excuse me while I go and savor one of these.

What’s that they say about the end justifying the means….?

Mhmmmm. I think I'm seein' that in a whole new light.

Yes, now *that's* amore. Worth every penny.

Homeschooling With Little Ones, Live Time.

It's true... toddlers and infants do throw a wrench in the gears but they can be included and kept occupied. I continue to get email after email asking me what "school" looks like with a 2 year old and 9 month old in the mix. So I decided to record things "live time" for you to get a better picture of how things run around here.

9:15 am we have bible reading at the table and then disperse to do our morning routines of tidying, getting laundry started, washing up, getting dressed, cleaning rooms, etc.

10:00 am everyone is in the schoolroom. My 9 yo and 7 yo are working independently on their math, while I supervise my 5 yo with his seat work. 2 yo is playing mega blocks on the floor with 9 mo.

10:20 am 9 yo continues to work on her math, 7 yo and 5 yo are listening to their science and history readings. 9 mo has gone down for his nap and 2 yo is searching for the yellow duck in each page of "Things People Do". And yes, this does require me to "look Mommy" on each page when he has "founded it" and to cheer his efforts and sometimes provide a clue.

10:40 am 5 yo is finished seat work and asks to watch TV, is denied and runs off to play stick fighting with 2 yo. I start marking 9 yo's math while 7 yo works on her Language Arts.

11:00 am 7 yo finishes and goes to read Milly Molly Mandy to 5 yo and 2 yo in the living room. I can now focus to do science and history readings with my 9 yo.

11:30 am get 9 yo started on Language Arts, do her dictation and spelling lists and read poetry, then leave her to finish off her seat work (handwriting and creative writing) while I go to prepare lunch. After story time, the 2, 5, and 7 yo can watch a half hour video or play educational computer games IF they have cleaned up any mess they have made.

12:00 we eat lunch then go to our respective "quiet time" places, 2 yo with me on the couch looking at a book till he falls asleep. 5 yo on the other couch looking at a picture book, 7 yo and 9 yo in their beds reading their readers and me reading a chapter of my book.

1:00 pm I read "World's Greatest Fairy Tales" to my 7 yo and "Across Five Aprils" to my 9 yo because we have small group tonight and won't have time to do it at our regular time (after supper).

1:45 baby wakes up and has lunch

2:00 we start getting ready to go to town for errands and tea with a sweet friend.

All in all I realize that my older kids are really great at engaging and entertaining the younger ones. They are great friends to each other and thus the littler ones are not very demanding of me. It's true that sometimes more than others the young ones just need to be near me and I don't deny them that. There is always a booster seat next to me for whoever feels that need to be close, and I am quite okay with balancing a baby on my knee if need be while reading to the kids. Yeah... he reaches for pages and drives me crazy but usually I find something that distracts and entertains him and he is just happy to be near me and hear my voice. I also use the jolly jumper and exersaucer when they are too small to play on the floor.

I never expect to get through a lesson without interruption. This is life, not school. It's living AND learning. Or learning WHILE living. Interruptions may set us back according to the clock, but not in the grand scheme of things. I tend to not care about the clock at all... just take our time and enjoy the journey. I highly recommend building a collection of fun coloring books, I Spy Books, cut and paste workbooks, mega block and Tinkertoy collections, and Where's Waldo books for the little guys to feel they have their OWN stuff and are part of the learning experience. I love it when my 2 yo leaves what he is playing with to climb up beside us and peer at our books and repeat funny words in an inquisitive fashion... rather than frustrating us it give us cause for laughter. Prime example, I was reading a brief excerpt to my daughter from "Writer's Inc". Here is how that went...

"You probably lead a busy life. As a result, you may have little time to relax and reflect on things. This is where writing can help." 2 YO CLIMBS UP IN THE BOOSTER SEAT BETWEEN US AT THIS POINT.

"By it's very nature writing is perfectly suited to examining daily happenings." HAPPENINGS MOMMY? HAPPENINGS? WHAT'S HAPPENING MOMMY?

"Writer Ray Bradbury once said, "Writing lets the world burn through you (I edited this on the fly to read "through your head" I tend to do this when I know it will help it make more concrete sense to my daughter). HEAD MOMMY? BURN HEAD?

"If you write regularly in a journal you will know exactly what he means. In a typical entry HIS HEAD, MOMMY? POINTING TO CARICATURE IN THE BOOK. HE BURN HEAD MOMMY? you will consider the events in your life, and in the process, ask questions, make decisions and set goals. WHO BURN HEAD MOMMY? In short, you can reflect- or let the world burn through your head." OH... WORLD IN HEAD MOMMY? WORLD IN MY HEAD?

LOL. Daughter and I were smirking through the whole paragraph. I love that he is comically part of what we're learning. I hope you will all find your learning niche and get comfortable with this crazy and wonderful experience that is home (and family) based education.

Aware.

"The art of abundance is the art of awareness. It is a way to count our blessings and practice mindfulness in our daily living. Becoming aware of the small, the little, and the least offers us an opportunity to open our hearts to a larger perspective. We learn to value the tastes, textures, scents, sounds, and sights of our lives as they present themselves to us moment by moment.
"Children practice the art of abundance naturally, but often as adults we lose the ability to explore and experience wonder. By choosing to be aware of the gifts life brings, we become lovers instead of critics, believers instead of doubters, and childlike mystics instead of world-weary critics."

*Candy Paull in The Art of Abundance.

Pausing to practice awareness and express thanksgiving…

for a husband who understands romance and practices it daily

for a friendship/marriage that is beyond what I could have hoped or imagined and only gets better with age.

for a hot tub and the relaxation and rejuvenation it brings to us on these dark, cold, long winter evenings.

for the glory of the heavens on said dark, cold, long winter evenings.

for children who understand honor and practice it (most of the time) in the home and without.

for pudgy fisted baby waves and first words “ciao… ciao… ciao…”

for an amazing, amazing job that is a perfect fit for my husband’s gifts and a great yearly evaluation that made him proud and happy and fulfilled thus making me proud and happy and fulfilled.

for an abundance of forever friends, food and fun times.

for peace… in my heart, in my head, in my home.

for heavy crystals of hoar frost that coat creation in a crocheted doily of sparkling wonder.

Father in Heaven I stand in wonder at your amazing grace.

* I stumbled across this quote over at Susan’s place and it just “clicked” so perfectly with where my spirit is at that I couldn’t help lifting it and sharing it with you all.

My Kind of Valentine

Any man who buys me these…

and toasts me by candlelight with this…

while dancing with me to this playlist…

and rents THIS to watch with me

(never mind that I’d seen it before, he rented a chick flick to watch with me… nuff said)

and then commences to go around saying “P.S. .... I Love You".” to me on the phone and at the end of conversations and emails for the next three days;

well…that’s my kind of Valentine.

Hey, for the record I get some real brownie points here too (ahem). I contributed the music play list, candlelit supper, brownies and ice cream and Baileys. I know the way to my man's heart. And I was all for heading out to the hot tub after all was said and done, but the truth of the matter is... we were wasted, heh heh... (tired, not drunk!). It was a night to remember. Simple. Special. Sweet. Mmmmm.

(oh and p.s. I almost forgot. He wins when it comes to brownie points due to the following disclosure. I don't know if it was thanks to the Lambrusco and Baileys or just our (I use the term loosely) lack of suave "finesse" on the dance floor (which happened to be our dining room floor with the table pushed out of the way) but he thought dance lessons sounded like a great idea. Huh?! I think that floored me more than the earings and the super romantic card that made me cry).

Too Sexy For His Shirt

So I was making up a Valentine’s Day post to extol the virtues of the man in my life (and the stunning gift he bought me) when I came across the following photos of one of the “other” little men in my life while Kenny Chesney just happened to be playing "she thinks my tractor’s sexy” in the background. I’m sorry but this does trump all. If you're more into sparkly gems on black velvet and tales of candlelight, music, dance and romance... well, hold your horses... I'll share about that real soon... for now... here's something that's sure to ellicit a smile.