whatever god damn illness is that, a sudden stab on my heart.. damn sharp pain, killing me.. lucky it was just awhile.. I always hated it. doctor bullshit, isn't a big deal why is it so hurting.


I'm heading out out out to have my dinner. weeeee...wanton mee.. trallalalalalalas.

5:07 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

Don't force me to do things I don't like. I won't be attending tomorrow meeting even though my name is in the list. You think I care? Don't please me, don't beg me. fcuking get out of my way. Just a useless meeting.

1:15 AM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

I was mentally tired. Was on the bed sms till I fall asleep. The alarm rang, I did woke up. I felt so heavy and because of my laziness made me continue sleeping. And I finally woke up at about 11+am? I was still wondering whether to go school or not. Happy enough richard and huimin accompany me to school, although we different class. We wore home clothes to school, LALALAs. Teacher didn't say anything. Well, I guess is better for us to go than never appear. Morning lecture only poor eddy went to school and the rest of us was like pig. hEes. I was really bored alone, so I sneak in to their class anyway just opposite only. muhahahas. omg lo, their teacher know my name and I don't know the teacher at all. dots. probably teacher gathering gossip about me. hUmph. We were planning where to have our "lunch", late lunch at 4pm. ate at cafe 1. WeeEeee... plan to visit Kelyn, poor liL girl sick at home. I fall asleep in the bus with the lollipop that min gave me =x pity us, all of us were drenched. me, min, edd, net and ric. aint you gonna be touch, kelyn ? lalalalas. heavy rain lo. sweet enough for the towels and clothes. over her place playing mahjong and audition. one more thing I got do my taxation homework, I'm too guai. Kelyn find it weird when I'm the only one doing my work the rest were playing. till at night asked my dad to fetch me home. super tired. soon all of us gonna be sick again. I've got a feeling I gonna have fever. sobs. I'm still holding on, waiting patiently for the special day to arrive. =D



Wish you guys all the best for those taking their exams. =)


anyway, I'm back bloggging. hais. I did blog just that didn't post up. feeling so mess up. sorry everyone.

11:59 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

Loner for the day, all of them going home while I'm on my way to school. I skipped morning for some reason, feeling real bad. heart aching so badly. yeah. But I still managed to force myself to smile a lil. I'm the 4th one to reached class, I thought I gonna be late but the fact I'm not. just 2 hours lesson of Costing. Nothing better to do, so decided to watch basketball match at indoor stadium. college west vs central, I left during 3/4 west leading by 10 points. This year match was super boring, I rather not watch.


While walking down the escalator, the vocie from the back of me " xiao jie can I get to know you", I ignored. Later on he tapped my shoulder, felt realy pissed off wondering which idiot is that. then I realised is Joshua. ass la him, always do all this funny thing. once a blue moon I will get to see him. I almost can't recognise him. =x As least got people accompany me take bus. We talked alot, once again I'm being question about my past. my relationship with danial. Let you guys know a lil more about my past, why did I broke off with him because he was unfaithful and betray me. He two-time me. Doing so many things behind my back. Once and once again giving him so many chances and didn't even cherish one of it. Then Joshua asked me how am I able to mantain this relationship for so long and decided to give up. cause why I tresure my relationship and learned to forgive. Only gene will understand me, how the way I cherish it. He seen me going thur' alot of downs. Anyway that my first relationship and it last for 3years+. My worst relationship I ever be in. From that moment I tell myself I'm not gonna step into that path again.



I was pretty affected by his word, " whatever". simply hate it. so my day still ended that badly after all. Do you ever know how much I miss you?


if i'd the letter HRT , i can add EA to get HEART or add U to get HURT , but i rather choose U & get HURT then have a HEART with out U. *find it quite meaningful.

11:41 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

lalalalalalalas. fCuk up day.. that's all I could say.

11:18 AM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

if happiness comes first, so where have it gone to?


I always hated it when the happiness doesn't belongs to me. Just a moment wont help. I wasn't meant to be fool.

1:17 AM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

Unwanted thoughts that I hope that it never be true. He told me he still got alot things he still wanna do. Giving me up because of that? and because he is tired of maintaining this rs. If that's the case seriously is very disappointing, seems like I meant nothing, not even a bit to him.

11:21 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

I want to sit on the beach by the sea
Feel the waves on my toes
And the wind on my cheeks
Talk about anything under the evening sun
Enjoy the company of friends and loved ones
Savour the moments spent together
The time we make specially for each other


Those happy memories I used to have, it ended so quickly. The biggest mistake that I've made, that I've fallen for you. Yeah, because you being too sweet that you even made my heart melt so badly. Being at my doorstep greeting me Happy Valentine Day.I started falling a liL and liL deeper. The very moment I knew I gonna be your precious girl, I've fallen too deep. I finally opened my door once again. The happiness waiting ahead of me. On the 17 Febuary 2006, my answer to him was a hug. Time really flies. Back then the past few months I was still smiling, right now just tears that flow down my cheek. I didn't wish to have and end to it. I ever wish for is to pause that very moment. The hug that I never want to let go. Just let me hug you for a liL more and a liL more. Being apart was so painful. Looking into your eyes telling you I'm sure of it and I won't regret. I made this decision cause I think about you before me. I left with no choice. My heart wasn't ready for all this. It was so heartbroken I didn't bare to leave you like this. I'm just out of my mind. Probably this way will make your life better and happier. Didn't want to see you struggling thru'. I'm glad that you're happy with your life now. I know both of us just didn't want to let go like this, probably dragging it on will just make us feeling more hurt. Once I thought you would give me endless happiness, but it comes to and end now. The pictures on the wall, just made me think of my liL past. Especially our 2 month, unforgetable memories I had with you. But I'm really happy that you been making me smile for that few months. Making me feel that I'm the happiest girl, just like a princess. You're a wonderful bf, indeed a very caring one. I just love the way you care for me every moment. You send me home right at my doorstep, you never let me go up alone and ended our day with a goodnight/goodbye kiss. Being sensitive that's you. boo, silly you. We both love to fight for own rights and always being so stubborn; and that's us. That is why our thinking never link that causes us to have lil misunderstanding. Everything just happened too fast, it just perish in the air. Our journey ends here, not here we shall continue our journey as great friends, aint we? =)



started with a hug and ended with a hug.

2:36 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

Had a terrible dream. Heart aching so badly. It seems so realistic, I think I did tear. sigh.

2:05 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

I'm gonna "shut down" my blog for the moment. I don't feel like blogging anymore.

9:35 AM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

booooo !

bleahs...

YEAH. I've got something new. new piglet cup from Kelyn! hohoho.



Back from Kelyn's place. While in the car I kept complaining I very tired cause I got go school. hahahas. He say I lazy equal no hope. Then we crap alot really a lot. =p I know because of my laziness that causes alot of happening in my life. Took a train down to Bugis, walk walk. hEes. saw Jer and Joel, my last time sec friends. sorry la, because of the bargain. sorry sorry sorry, my fault. ='( Ta bao dinner over Kelyn's place cause we playing mahjong. 11pm, we stopped playing. Kelyn send rich and min to bus stop and drop me at serangoon wait for my dad.



Got this old friend of mine used to be a good friend of mine too. Message me in msn, was kinda shock after sooooo long. During the secondary school times, we were very close. Travel to school and home together. yeah, we also in the same cca. Until I moved to sengkang wasn't that close anymore. and because alot of misunderstanding between us. well, she that kinda girl who really work very hard. and as me I'm a slacker. she from NT while I'm in NA. And because she works really hard and achieve great results. At first teacher didn't approve her to NA. So I kept telling her to asked her parent to see the principal. And finally everything ended fine. she've got into the same class as me. during that time we started to drift, because I'm slacker well she rather choose to be with those who really study that kind. During that time I really hate her, I been helping her so much supporting her and yet this is what I deserve. But that was the past. childish naive. I'm glad that she still remember my birthday. Felt touched. =D lalalalas. HEY people out there, I'm not longer with danial. c'mon stop asking whether I'm still with him anot. It been so long.

11:50 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

back from school. weather super duper hot, at least not so bad. no afternoon buses and walking home. I'm way so tired. I guess I have to crawl out later.

4:42 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

Morning! I'm going to submit my appeal form today. Lalalas. Hope everything goes well today. So many things coming up. Lynette's birthday coming up. I wonder how would it be like. Sigh, and I have to attend lessons regularly. My life is still liL mess up. Tralalalas. Hoping for a better one. Boo. WeeEeeeee.. today I'm not gonna stuck with those morning buses. =P happy happy..



- edited -

hais. mummy asked me, how come recently hardly be with bf. and I answered her busy. and she say busy wasn't a reason. well, it hurts alot.



it wasn't easy to face the truth. no smiley for the day.

11:02 AM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

alright. I'm still waiting for my BIG BIG present. hEes. I just remember. Someone say I bad. hais. I think I wasted my missed call today. =x should have heck CARE!


school school. Learn news things today again. hEes. HAPPY. then min and rich walked pass my class say HI to me. happy at least they got come. opposite my class only kept giving rich stupid faces. got 2 idiots kept looking in my class, then sujun asking me do I know them I say no. then still looking. I looked up stare at them, give that see what see face. fcuk lo. after that never see liao. continue do my work. got this classmate of mine, I don't understand why is he always so stress. crazy one. Talked to him he dao me. idiot lo. I kept complain teacher teach so slow =x . I'm a fast learner. eddy called me to ask me where to report for tp and what to bring. rich and min was outside my class waiting for me, so I asked teacher can I go already. she hold my chin lo, asked me to come class more often. Before I go clean the whiteboard. I clean 3/4 of it la. the top I can't reached. I lazy jump. yeah.. happy happy go out =x cause hungry. then kelyn called to ask where am I. met her at technical block level 3. together go lecture together before that we bought some food up to munch. I also don't know what I've been doing in lecture hall, 2 hours just pass like this. then eddy called to talked, he damn nervous. his warm up wasn't that good. after lecture he called to tell me his result he didn't do wel. maybe too nervous. good luck for the next one. was looking at the debarment list. min tio cheated by teacher she never get debar. only me and net. I've got debar from all modules. teacher sms me to look for her regarding the debar thing. and kelyn went home first. went to B04-31 waited for her with thomas, min and rich. she so long. eddy called again he say he damn pissed off darn cute eh him. and head down to campus heaven to eat my lunch. just feel like munching on something. then head home. bus stop saw some idiot suppose to go up the bus but ended up accompany him to wait for his friends. talked about my TP. sian. today saw alot of friends in school. so wasn't so bad. non stop hi and bye. lalalalas. the weather is killing me. and finally I reached home. KO. hEes. lalalalas.




If only wishes could be dreams
And all my dreams could come true

7:48 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

I'm so moody, although I don't seems like one. cause I never show. tralalalas. I woke up early in the morning. yeah yeah. and mummy asked me why I wake up so early. Then I say, I suppose to wake up this early just that I never go school. silly lo. I'm really very tired. I want to sleep sleep sleep. Just let me rest here, I'm tired of moving on.

6:57 AM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

a pic that I edit. not me. =) a very good bro of mine with his gf.

11:40 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

Back from school. Good news, I actually went to school for today account lesson from 10am till 12pm and yesterday lecture same timing as today also. Lets blog about yesterday, met eddy at Tapmines interchange as usual took Bus 31 to school. And Richard called me while I gonna alight, asked me where am I and blablabla. Was wondering how come didn't Kelyn called me. So decided to check out her car. Just nice, together just reached school. Went over to technical block to meet that Richy, tap our ez-link card and took a lift to our lecture which is at level 3. I learned something new, yeah yeah. So lonely, only me, Kelyn, Richy and Eddy. After that lynette joined us. After lecture all of us was hungry head down to BB to have our lunch. I had chicken chop. yummmy. Then we were deciding where to go. Miss Kelyn suggested me to go over her place then we study or play audition together. Hmmm.. then I'm like alright anyway can ask my dad to fetch me later. Ended with this idea popping out, " m a h j o n g " I don't remember who suggested it. Went over to Net's place and took the mahjong set, go over Kelyn's place and play. Richy got his medical appointment at 3pm, so he joined us later. Eddy played mahjong with us, he super slow lo. Played untill all wanna sleep. But one thing he is winning. beginner luck. tralalalas. And finally Richy arrived (surprise one), when he opened the door he pulled the strawberry down together. With my help of cause the strawberry is back again =x hEes. Went out for dinner cause I kept saying I'm hungry. So decided to go out eat, while waiting for them me and rich playing the random mahjong 2 players game =x muahahhas. we gone crazy. never mind. Walked out to Geylang there to eat dim sum. yummmmy damn nice.
After come back me and Kelyn tried playing the random mahjong also! muhahahas. Then this time played proper one, Derrick playing this round. played until my dad arrived. Derrick kept winning lo. In the car crapping with daddy. lalalas. Head home changed my nick in irc. watched the 9pm show till I KO till the next morning. =x


I was so lazy to attend lecture for today, so I decided to sleep for another hour. Morning buses that drive me insane. The moment I stepped in the class, as usual all the weird look. Teacher called me to come over. She talked to me. Here comes the bad news, I'm being debar! not only me in the class still got 2 more. Prepare to appeal hopfully sucess. Sat in the class slowly 1/3 of the class gone used excuse as go support Jianle. whatever la. never mind. I sat alone do my work. My table on one sitting lo accept me. indeed a loner in class. Done with my work I just walked out also no one care. I'm just invisible. Went to indoor sport hall, damn shy la walked in, so many people. Last year match seems to be ..... much better. more people eh. This year like so cold. Yeah, jer's team leading. Jer did a nice shot. wohooo.. gogogo jer! poor jianle sitting there =x I never see him play ehh.. =x After that went to meet my dear Kelyn. She suddenly want go lesson suppose to accompany her go lesson. Then we sitting there decided to go where and eat. loner lo both of us only. went to BB and eat! hMmm... today I ate fish and chips. lalalas. after that min and net and eddy joined us. after all not so lonely. Accompany Kelyn ta bao food for his bro and bf. Then head home. Not forgetting afternoon weather drive me insane too. so going to school is a hell. =D While walking home pass by a Florist shop, make me think of my liL past that happened. There was this time, I was sick and he came and visited me a surprise one. He bought me a bouquet of flower with a care bear. yeah, sunflower. sweet isn't it. at least it made me smile. during that time we not longer together but he was still so sweet. but what it ended up now, was horrible. because of what he had done that I will never forgive him. How wish when I'm sick there is always someone by my side.

1:56 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

day by day I'm still struggling very hard. can I just throw everything and make me feel so light as if i can fly. no I can't. I can't be selfish.


______________________________


-post deleted-

4:20 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

after all my surrounding is not getting any better. in the process of being unlucky at the moment. the path I walked were never easy for me. life is always that unfair? once I thought it was a miracle but it ended up a dream. there's many things I've lost in life, I can't afford to lose it anymore.

7:24 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away

The other nite, dear,
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms.
When I awoke, dear,
I was mistaken
And I hung my head and cried.

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skys are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

1:47 AM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

after all I'm still not happy with my life now. I don't know what I want. boooooo.


HAPPY 6th months. =D

2:08 AM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

Driving after 2 months + , finally I'm back to my practical again. not very good. alright back to blog about my day yesterday. I went to lecture but not for lesson, my dearest Ms Ng sms me to come, but who cares? right after lecture, head down to ubi to fetch derrick and also to do my PDL. but too many people and kelyn just park outside, afraid that she will be fined. next place to kelyn's parent's stall, for food food ta bao liao going back to kelyn's place.


next place, white sands. drop me there, I went to do my PDL and meet pt. I passed him the box and gave him a hug. In a rush, so have to go off to the next place. downtown, wildwildwet. yeah.. played till 5.30pm. went to shower, change and dinner time. pizza hut and kfc. yummy. and went down to visit richard. and head homeeeeeeee.. that's all for the day. I'm still very tired....

3:14 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

Just woke up. yawn. I'm still so tired. I barely sleep, because my tummy hurts the whole night. the pain was unbearable. having food posioning again. wasn't my day. having nightmare thru' out the night. but whatever it is who cares. boo. never mind I shall start my day, wishing for a better one. smiley for the day. =D


baby there isn't anything I ask for anymore. just hope to see you today. bare with me alright. love ya =)

8:28 AM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

the banner! lalala.

9:33 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

wohooo.. yesterday was a long day. when over to east coast park to help min with her stuffs. eat dinner, slack and took a cab down to kelyn's house. help kelyn with charmine party banner. since I dont know how to fold straw stars. I have a wonderful art piece. boo. reached home in the morning. darn tired. KO till evening. hahas. I'm a pig.



I lost myself.

9:10 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

I'm gonna receive a big big present! yesh. =x smiley for the day.

6:04 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

I been almost sleeping since yesterday, yes I'm very tired. Yesterday woke up awhile chatted in Mirc, with Kelyn and Richard. chatted till I fall asleep again. muhahahas. And thanks Mr Richy to drop me a call to wake me up. Dragged my heavy legs to the toilet, bath bath, hurray I'm clean. boo. Get my hotline, get my chauffeur and head to Kelyn's place. For some Attitude's family gathering. Lalalalas. First they wanted to eat steamboat but I seriously find it troublesome. Ended up with "zi cha". Kelyn and Derrick went to meet Richard first and bought the food. They super hungry waited for me to reach. The moment I reached, everyone was hungry chiong for food! yesh. The food was nice =D right after finish eating, we clearing up the utensils. HERE come the fireworks, woohoooo rushed out to watch. yeah yeah. This year fireworks was....... -.-" short. This year fireworks festival sigh, I already missed both. I wasn't interested in national day's fireworks. Was rotting in Kelyn's room, playing audition, poker cards, watched tv and chit chatting. seriously the BED damn comfortable. They moment they sat on the bed got the wave feeling. hEes. Wanted to go for afternoon lesson but all going for morning lesson so I decided to go for morning lesson only also. okie, I'm so tired that I wanted to crawl back to my bed again.


I don't know what's baby doing right now. Probably all I know he is now over his friend's house. Soon later he is having is CS competition for WCG. Anyway just wanna wish you all the best. I know you wont be reading my blog before your compe. But I just feel like typing out. boo. anyway I already send you message already.

6:49 AM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

my day started with a liL mixed feelings. happy & sad. super weird feeling. Happy to hear his voice but sad he's busy. never mind. I always thought bridging involve in national day celebrate as in the actual day, but it was actually school national day celebration. No one notice me regarding the meeting. but is okie, none of the meeting I went. I only went on the actual day which is today. reached school at 7+am. yesh, super early and none of my gang going to school. loLs. saw alot of greenie, with all the greeting and stuff. they are friendly. boo. everyone wearing red la, I'm in greenie. hEes. proud to be one of the greenie. =x muhahahs. I'm in charge of the 5 level with bird. actually suppose to be on the 1st level. since bird alone went to help her. have go in class by class to asked them out. first class tio zesiang's class -.-" idiot lo. no one listen to me. dots. rest of the class still okie. hmMmm.. after that have to guard the lift, no one allow to use the lift. lucky no one di siao... so overall still alright.. then when down level by level... hang around in school.. and yeah.. went home. =D


yesterday, went lecture was sleeping cause super tired and my tummy hurts. and my darling kelyn keep tickling me. damn cute. went cafe to eat our lunch. and head to town. kelyn never go cause she super tired. Sad I didn't get my stuff at town.



lalallalalas. lazy to blogg... =)

12:24 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

some of the pictures uploaded. boo.



SAT.
went east coast and slack. playing cards. killer and the host. was rather fun. boo. recently having alot of problems. even my surrounding friends. I hope you guys are feeling better now.

*baba you ass dont angry la. okie. I'm sorry. smile =)

2:59 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

woke up by my dear minny. chat a lil online then went to bath, prepare and stuff. Took train head down to PS. omg lo, saw my friend. ask me what happen, and I answer dont ask so much . hahahs. and took bus to richy's place. the moment I reached they playing mahjong, the mini ones. and went to eat dinnnerrr and slacckkk........... sorry. recently I super lazy to blog. that's why all short short de. oh ya.. one last thing... I received a piglet mirror and comb together de. from huimin. she also got one for herself. THANKs girl.



in a mess. and yes I can't stop thinking .

1:58 AM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y

[x] alan______
[x] baba______
[x] chongting___
[x] derrick____
[x] desmond____
[x] eLi_______
[x] huimin____
[x] jason_____
[x] JJ_______
[x] kelyn_____
[x] qingying__
[x] rachel___
[x] rebecca___
[x] reborn____
[x] shan______
[x] vanessa___
[x] xiuling___
[x] yiqing____

____________________
friends for life
*chops*

turning back time

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