Monday, January 24, 2005
lookin at the mirrOr.. as if there's two side of me.. wonderin... which ish the real me .. lookin totalli alike but with totally diff personality.. whO am i now ? o.O i'm so confuse.. am i pretendin to be one.. or i'm juz like tat ? everything seem so diff.. and yet i realise.. and i didn't kno the reason.. ish such a mess.. complicated..
the rain fall.. drained away my dreamz.. walkin down the street.. the darkness.. the slient.. as if i been to another world..there's no one to be there for me.. walkin thru tis path wasn't easy at all.. will my dreamz ever come back me ? or it hab ended.. well i guess tat's fate.. it will neber come back..
bEing thEre fOr yOu aLwaYz.. nO mAttEr wart haPpeN..unLeSs.. i'm in totaL bReakdOwn.. i'll be there for you.. holdin you tite.. you trying to make me laugh , forgetting the past and make me smilez .. why dun you even dare to look into my eyes.. i dun wish you to hide anymore.. i kno more den wart you thought.. there's no point running away from me.. there's no other path for you to go.. the reality ish juz in front of you.. why are you so afraid of me..knowin everything.. ish tat's a fault to kno ?
1:35 AM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y
Saturday, January 22, 2005
yOu wEre all thE things I thOught I knEw
aNd i tOt we cOuld bE
yOu weRe eVeRytHin tAt i wAnted
wE wEre meant tO be, suppOsed to be, but we lOst it
aNd all of the memOries, sO close tO me, juz fade awAy
aLL this time yOu were pretEndin
aLl thE things yOu hide frOm mE
aLl thE shit that yOu dO
it's niCe tO knO that yOu weRe there
tHanz fOr actin like yOu carEd
aNd makin mE feEl like i wAs tHe oNly oNe
it's nice tO knO we hAd it aLl
tHanz for watChin as i fall
aNd letting me knO we weRe done
evErythin iS in meSs
haB yOu evEr wOnder tis wOrd "reGret"
hOw mUch it actuaLli mEant ?
it wiLl neBer bE the saMe again..
fadEd memOries..
11:22 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
tHe feeling iSh so diff aS iF i bEen intO aNotHer wOrld... a wOrld tAt i nEbEr bEen bEfOre... aNd thE feEling isH sO diFf.. thE suRrounding.. isH in a meSs.. cOMplicAted.. oR maybE iSh trUe.. tAt i hAb cHange... tAt's sOmebOdy sAy.. weLl ... i didn't cAree... insidE my mind.. jUz a piece oF dArkneSs.. sO empty aNd bLank.. uSed tO tink aLot.. mAyBe.. iSh bEcos i tink tOo mUch.. aNd nOw.. i hAb a bReakdOwn... tAt i can't evEn tink oF anytHing.. i wisH evErything..wiLl bE in my wAy.. i like tHings tO bE in my wAy.. bUt it wiLl nEbEr hAppen.. aS iF i'm gOd i cAn controL anytHing like tAt ? =.= ya i knO evErything isH possibLE... tHeRe's nO sUch thing As impoSsible ritee?? nAhz.. i dun tiNk tAt wAy... i'm nOt gOd...oR waRt sO eva... mEmorieS hAb fAded.. sAdneSs aNd hAppineSs ...bUt.. sEem like... i hAbin a hArd time.. i usEd to bE sTrong... wArt hAppEn to mE.... wHy did i bEcome sOo wEak.. i dun wAn teArs to fLoW oUt anymOre... i'm nOt a sensitivE gEr ... cAn i hAb a wOrld oF mine? o.O hOpe tAt evErydAy wiLl bE a bEttEr dAy~~~
bReakdOwn
1:51 AM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y
Sunday, January 09, 2005
sun hab set.. the darkness in the sky.. walkin dOwn the street .. a glance .. the car.. and him.. lookin alike like my couz.. hopin.. he will be one.. in future... dReamiin....~
7:58 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y
Saturday, January 08, 2005
beEn finDing jObs fOr tHe paSt fEw dAys.. qUite sAd... didn't gEt tHe jOb i waN... wAnted tO wOrk in aCtiOnciTy.. cOs.. i tOt iT wiLl bE fUn wOrking tHere... bUt i givEn up... aNd i tRy findin oThEr jObs.. bUt i aLsO fAiLed tO gEt tAt nikE jOb.. >.< .. bUt nvm.. stiLl tRyin fOrr oThErs.. hOpe i wiLl gEt oNe oF tHoSe.. i bEen sOoo bUsy finDin fOrr jObs... tAt i didn't evEn reALisE wArt's gOin oN wiTh mY sUrroundin.. bUt i knO... aLot oF hAppening... hAiz... tOdAe dreSsing wAs like -.-" and hAb tO pUt oN mAke up... sOoooOOoo.. i lOok diFf ... ehh.. weLl nOt mUch diFf actuaLli... cOs isH stiLl mE!!.. =x
eHhhh.. hAiz.. mY " kOr " iSh dIsaPpeaR... aNd i hAb nO nEws oF him.. weLl.. i giving uP.. cOs hE waNted tO eNd iT tIs wAy.. i dUn evEn cArEe le.. iSh likE eVeRybOdy iSh like tAt.. weLl uSed tO it.. eVEn mY kOr iSh likE iSh.. yEahz.. dRifting aPaRt.. likE a sTrangEr fOr nOw.. weLl..mAyBe iSh tRue.. wArt i hAb sAe.. iSh aLsO a gOod tHing tAt yOu lOst yOuR mEi liKe mE... cOs i'm jUz a uSeleSs fREak.. jUz a bUrdEn tOwArds yOuu...
i aLso dUnno wArt hAppen.. tO beL.. sHe sEem sO diFf...sO sEnsitiVe... sHee iSh wAy tOo sEnsitiVe.. tAt's i cAn't dO aNytHing.. sEem like sHe stiLl cAn't fOrgEt tHe paSt.. i'm sAd fOrr hEr tOo.. nEithEr cAn i heLp hEr .. >.< ... wONdErin iSh sHe eNjOying.. i hOpe sHe diD.. i wAn aLl mY fRenz tO bE hAppy.. i dUn wAnna sEe hEr sAd aNymOre... hOping tAt.. eVeryDay wiLl bE a bEtTeR dAy...
i kEep thinkin.. wArt wOuld hAppen nExt... fEeling sO stReSs uP.. prObz kEep cOmin in... ii dUn wAnn tHe bOttle tO bE bRokEn... oncE it's bRoken...i gOnna bReakdOwn tOo... tHe fEElin wAsn't gOod aT aLl... i fEel sO sAd...yOuu aRe nOt evEn tHeRe fOrr mE.. wEn i fEeling sO hUrt.. aLl yOu dId wAs tO sit in frONt of mE ..sEeing mE ... suFfeRin fRom tAt pAin.. aNd yOuu eVeN mAke iT mOre pAInfuL..
11:57 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y
Monday, January 03, 2005
it bEen a fEw days... thInking.. vEri dEeply... whY mUz iT eNded uP tiS wAy.. i hAtee yOuu... wHy mUz yOuu afFect uS.. yOu aRee sElfisHh... hAbin sUch a cHildisH tHinkiin.. tiS iSh nOt thE liFe i sUppOse tO hAb.. iSh aLl bEcOs oF yOuu.. i sUffer sOoOoo mUch... bY giving yOuu a cHance.. aNd tIs iSh wArt i gEt in rEturn? i dUn tinK yOuu dEservE tAt cHance! rEtuRn tO mE! yOuu rUin my liFe.. yOuu rUin yOur own lifE iSh aLreAdy eNff... wHy mUz yOuu dO tis..~! yOu sElfisH fReak.. yOu tink yOu aRe thE one? i teLl yOuu wArt.. yOu jUz a faiLure! uSeleSs fReak~! wHy mUz yOuu cOmpLain .. yOu aRe jUz nOt tHe oNe.. nEithEr dO yOuu nEed tO prEtend like oNe.. tiS doEsn't beLong tO yOuu.. aNd yEt.. tHe cHance iSh gIveN tO yOuu.. i dUn unDersTaNd.. siNce yOuu hAted him sOo mUch.. wHy mUz yOuu stiLl bEg fOr hELp.. ! hE sHouLdn't hAb jUz givE yOuu tHe cHancE wHeRe iT bElongs tO him~! aLtHouGh evErything sEem tO bE sOo fIne... but i'm suFfering bAdly.. aS iF i gOnna bReakdOwn anytime.. i gOnna tELl tO mysELf... i can't givE up.. i wiLl gEt yOu bAck some days! yOuu shaLl wAit aNd sEe! i bElieve aNd i tRust~ gOd iSh nOt bLind..
bAring tHe pain.. hOping fOr miracle.. hOpe tIs wiLl gEt oVer sOon..
5:03 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y
Saturday, January 01, 2005
happy new yEar!!
spent the whoLe day at hOme.. tOo lazy to gO out.. rEach home at 4 am.. wOke up at 2 pm.. i was pLay gUnbOund.. it bEen qUite lOng sincE i last played.. eEeek... i aiming wAs like shiit... aiyO... mUz plaY mOre le... i dUn waNna lOse tO a nOob eHhh.. sO paisEh wOr.... eEeekk... my rAnk isH stiLl tHe sAme... oh ya.. tat time.. i was like saying i will learn new game? yEah.. i leaRn to play waRcrAft3.. bUt arh... i played le.. i dunno waRt i playing like tat... hahaz.. sO i jUz anyhow cLick? =x plAy like aS if i kNo hOw to play? muahahaz.. trYing to lEarn mOre lar.. bUt arh... -.-" loLz... kkz.. come back to my day.. was playing gunbound... during evening time... kOr called me... wantEd to hAb a chit cHat... bUt i reaLli nOt frEe trying tO concentrate on my gAme.. =x bUt hE dun wAn hAng oFf.... untiL fOr a whiLe hE hAng off.. ~ played a few more round... kena lag out .. dEn i bEri laZy tO gO bAck le... dAmn sianz... juZ kena lag out.. jOs chAt with me on mSn... i tOld him tO caLl hiS fRenz.. aNd tHere gO my phone!!! ring ring!!! hahaz.. hE arhhh!!! @#$%^&* aLwAyz likE tAt...jUz nOw hE aSk mE wAtch animE... dEn nOw hE caLl mE not to watch.. loLz..wEird aRhh him... i'm sad!!! hE treat mE like a gUy!!! hE ish a gAy...... =x hahaz.. hE buLLy mE!!!!!!! aRgGghhx~~~!!! hAng off.. aFtEr hIs muM aSk him tO hAb hIs dinnEr... nOw i'm mEssaging kEn... eeeeKkk.. hE aSk mE go oUt... sUdDenly tReat mE sO gOod...wOnder wArt's hIs mOtive!!!! sOmemoRe uSe tHe woRd DATE!!! omg! hE iSh scAring me... !!! bUt thE otHers uSe tat wOrd i stiLl Can ACcept... bUt fOrr him... i hab nothing to sae.. bUt i tOld hIm tO Ask tHe oThers tO jOin.. aLong... weLl dUn tink wOuld i wAn to gO out with him...jUz him~!!!! nonono... i dun wan.. hahaz.. gUys aRe sCary.. >.< .. i stiLl owe cx cOokies... i tot of baking for him on christmas de.. but... i forgot... haiz.. yeah i owe him cookies!!! arHhhhh... but... my baking skill nOt tAt gOod eitHer.. i shOuld sAy bEri bAd!!! hahaz.. now i'm broke! totalli broke..... ..... i nEeda jOb.....sOb sObz...
11:59 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y
new year eve.... i received sms yet i cant even feel it.. even though ish under my pillOw.. wOrst of all~~ ish with vibratiOn tOo... well... maybE i'm jUz tOo tired... wOke up at abOut 2 .. tOok a shOwer and eat my lunCh ... wen tO meEt vin at 4.. at ps.. on the way out.. jos was tOkin to me on the phOne.. he sOund kinda of sianz or mOody afTer the secOnd caLl... i dunno whEther izzit link tO me.. aS i tOld him i not goNna jOin the grOup... he accOmpany me tOk.. untiL i mEt vin... weN with vin to watch mOvie.. tot oF watchin at ps de... bUt ish sellin fast.... sOoo... wE decided to go bugis..aS vin gonna mEet them at bugis anyway... the shOw wAs quite a niCee one... afTer tHe sHow wen to meet them at BK~! as usual... i aLso dunno why... ken likes to eat bk sooOooo much... vanus dressing was like wow!! neber sEe her dRess like tat befOre... it nice! =] after on i wen to find pm... sHe ended wOrk at 8.30... i asked her to jOin alOng.. in the end i'm still celebrating with them... hahaz.. =x wen to eat with her... after on wen to her house...change her clothes...and meet them at espLande... theRe's alot of peOple... we are like walkin like a train? =x loLz.. holdin on to each other shoulder... loLz.. i was at the back.. so... i can easily sneak off?? =x i did sneak off.. with pm.. wen to the spray.. hahaz.. cos i tot it will be fun.. =x catch with them later on..after i get the spray.. .. =x but sad to say... they realise i'm gone... so they wen back look for us.. hahaz... but we did to get to find each other... and few more mins to go... before ish new year... after on... i took out the spray ....... i spray at jos firSt.. =x tester... but... i did something bad... i was about to spray his hair.. he move.. and i spray on his face and kena his eyes.. >.< .. hope tat his eyes will be alright.. time reach... get to spray at others instead of each other... so nobody dare to walk infront of us ... haha... we got spray back too.. =x it quite a fun one.. should hab bought more spray =x muahahhaz...
happy new year!!
and i'm hAppi tat's kor ish finee~~!! wOot...
ish 2005~~!! i'm still waiting for my result.. eEek.. hAben get my bloOdy job!
5:02 PM`wiish.upon.a.fallin.star; unforgotten.Y
