CAN'T I FUCKING LEARN MY LESSON ALREADY???

WHAT THE FUCK IS HONOUR GLORY AND PRIDE???

JUST FUCK OFF ALREADY...

How much does it pay to truly want to contribute?

How much does it pay to stand for a breakthrough?

To fight against odds? To go against the flow?

To convince people to fight with you?

All the little ones who don't ever want to take risks. The people too caught with the inertia of the crowd. To stay on the safe side. Go the road where there is always a U-turn. Can I say they have naught for guts?

Maybe? Maybe I'm just to blinded by ambition. Maybe I'm misled by my delusions of grandeur.

Maybe? Maybe I need the courage to persevere. Maybe I need the strength to push through the opposing flow of the norm. Maybe I need the confidence to stand firm while others flee from perceived danger?

Do I have anyone who will stand and fight with me? Is society a bunch of sheep afraid of the unknown and fearing uncertain death? Does no one want to be crazy with me?

Maybe you're all a bunch of liars. I'm tired of being lied to over and over again. Having to place my trust in people who give me false hopes. Who is in this team? Who will be there for me? I'm so sick of of this insecurity and uncertainty. Facades and masks. Everyone's wearing one. Why am I not? Why am I so fucking stupid?

everything I want? Go back to being satisfied with things that I have? Ignore things that I don't, saying it's not something I really need?

After facing so many failures, climbing up and falling over again and again, how can I have any more confidence in myself? How can I believe that I'm unique in my own way when everyone calls it weird? How can I convince myself that I can be the me I want to be?

What can I do.

What should I do.

What will I do.

I would recommend you not coming over.

Peace.

The world is happy. Of course. All you fuckers live in your own small world.

You little fucker. Next big man? Just because the people who matter like you.

Keep coming back to the stage in life where you feel like the world is going to the dogs. But somehow, I just keep thinking that I would be able to make a difference. And the fucking optimism is killing me over and over. Being the idiot I am, I forget and overlook all the failures I make, climb back on my feet, crack my neck and carry on looking forward. Some may say it's a good thing, but is it really worth it to fall so much for, over and over again...

Countless things on my mind now. Fuck it all. Just wanna give it all up.

People saying that they are in a sorry state, sad, depressed, unmotivated. I don't know...

Maybe I can't understand things from their perspectives? Maybe I'm just like them, living in bliss yet unaware of it, nitpicking the fucked up details of my life. Just maybe...

When I first came up with the name potentialdifference, I believed that I had a lot of potential, surpassing way many others of the norm. That I was one of the better ones. The confidence in myself. The self-esteem. The stance. But lately, I've been questioning myself almost every other day. Am I doing things wrongly? Why am I not succeeding? I'm losing opportunities after opportunities. Losing people I love, people I trust. Losing my love for people, losing my trust for people. I feel that I've almost no one to talk to regarding such stuff any more.

I guess it's one of the things about being so naive. You learn to lose faith and trust in people. You're afraid. I am afraid of being prey to another persons' lies and schemes again...

Somebody? Anyone?

I wrote something during the wait for some of the dishes just now. I might share another day.

Just...

Fuck this world. z

Fuck off.