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He never sleeps

-Don Moen

When you've prayed every prayer that you know how to pray,
Just remember that the Lord will hear, and the answer is on its way.
Our God is able, He is mighty,
He is faithful.

And He never sleeps, He never slumbers,
He never tires of hearing our prayers,
When we are weak, He becomes stronger.
So rest in His love, and cast all of your cares on Him.

Do you feel that the Lord has forgotten your needs,
Just remember that God is always working in ways we cannot see.
Our God is able, He is mighty,
He is faithful.

And He never sleeps, He never slumbers,
He never tires of hearing our prayers,
When we are weak, He becomes stronger.
So rest in His love, and cast all of your cares on Him.

The bible tells us to cast all of our cares on Him,
Because he cares for us.
My friend, this is more than a promise, it's a command.
So be at rest, because today God is working in ways we cannot see.

And He never sleeps, He never slumbers,
He never tires of hearing our prayers,
When we are weak, He becomes stronger.
So rest in His love, and cast all of your cares on Him.

thank you Lord. :)

can i freak out again?

too many things to do + too little time = lydia goes cranky/angsty/stressed/irritated/dont talk to her

just as i was getting depressed about having lousy chinese which will make me get B for higher chinese o's and result in having to take chinese in jc (ROAR) i dig out my zuowen from last year and realise im actually capable of getting 50/70 for zuowens. cool eh. so for the sake of not taking chinese in jc, i'm going to work hard this year muahahaa.

oh yes sharyl kua you're hopeless =D
seriously, try to wake up on time one day? if you do i'll buy you chocolates. yes?
we're (me sharyl mich) going to start bs sessions with siling and probe and debate stuffies.
fun right yay
after church we went out to bless the community! me and sharyl went with cyrus. its interesting the way he does things. different from everyone else. the things he does are effective, yet might get him into trouble. nevertheless he's not afraid or ashamed, but just goes on and talks casually and shares. RADICAL
debates are fun hahahaa. lets all shoot questions at each other!

anywayyy. ONE MORE WEEK OF STAYING UP LATEEEEE.
and i will be liberated. and happy and very very happy.

things due this week:
-yingyongwen
-zuowen
-chinese sia
-ih essay
-chinese test
-math test
i think those are enough to drive me crazy?
yes.

back writing zuowen and being a chinese freak.

i think school is actually quite fun!
minus sias, homework (actually just chinese work), and annoying teachers.
i like tests. cos i get to bring out the mugger in me =D
company and friends are the bestest parts.
tiannie keeps bringing matches to school, and we or rather they try very hard to keep a lighted match going and uh set the school on fire. but in the end we always end up with nothing but an entire box of burnt matchsticks, and very bad air.
see, stress.

haha anyway we had bio test on friday after school and it was quite intimidating. like 5 of us, tiannie chiewlin huixian and natalie and me sitting on this small table in the staff room with ms lye watching us. i dont think it went very well, cos i kept getting confused and unsure over some glucose and metabolism/cell respiration thingy. let's just hope i didnt screw it up too badly =/
then tianyuan made us pon annother hour of dazu to decorate the class. it looks uh. more chinese new yeary now. i guess. the back board rocks though =D

i heard mrs ee said our jiankuai on thursday was of bronze standard, molihua of silver. high silver. if it makes any difference.

hahaha nikki's doesnt want to be single on valentine's day and is looking for a boyfriend supermarket and hoping to buy/rent one.

we went for lesson and i think ding was quite amused and we almost drove her crazy. for a full 20 minutes after lesson ended, we flopped down like a lump on her sofa and played random stuff. luan tan she said, like a million times, and told us to go home. for 20 minutes! hahaha. she kept asking us why we were so weird and telling us to go home cos she wanted to bathe and sleep.
and once again she asked me, for the millionth time,
-if i stayed in tampines or pasir ris
-to join her ruanzu
-why i dont want to join her ruanzu
-why i cannot change church to another time
-why i cannot skip church and go once a month
-and why i dont want to join. again.
the only new thing she said was that she has no more gaoyinruans and needs gyrs

this is getting abit boring lah.
do i sound depressed? cos i am. or maybe not.

okay i need to finish yyw, finish reading the book of esther, and do lilac book before i sleep
its saturday night can. sigh. and 1146.
i should hire a chinese tutor to do my chinese homework for me to teach me.

okay quiet time first. we'll see about chinese crap.

RANTS

i have 2 hours to read around 50? pages of ih readings.
wish me luck.
im going to sleep early today.
early=by 1130
oh yes so early

[edit]
ohhoh its 1130
i bet it was more than 50 pages of notes
okay lets just heck ih and go sleep.
since its like horrifyingly normal to fail ih, like 5 out of 13.
and im not expecting much anyway.
and reading and reading and reading and READING the huge multitude articles/readings and its not actually helping cos it doesnt make much sense and that stupid professor has to write in such long sentences which my dear exhausted brain has no capability of comprehending. didnt his teacher teach him to be concise ROAR.
OR. why cant david han just summarise everything for us, and give us comprehensive notes, instead of just stacks and stacks of essays/papers/articles.

okay end of rant.
tomorrow's friday which would usually be a yay but AIYAH.
good night world.
my brain is not functioning properly anymore.
i'm horribly sleep deprived. did you not know that?

excretion

i detest excretion.
its annoying crap.
i remember how freaking long i took to understand it and write comprehensive notes on it last year.
sucksssss. doesnt help that we need to know the a level stuff too. roar i dont care how urine is formed.
i want to sleep.

I'm listening to si zhu qing yun'06
i think i really miss it alot. for the longest time its just gonna be molihua and jiankuai.
roar i want to play other stuff. beside cny pieces.
and i miss playing ruanzu stufffff.

sigh i'll lug my bio notes and tys to SCH tmr to mug.

ARGH no one who has taken bio test is online for me to scream at.
where does the whole world go at critical points like this.
oh yes i should stop complaing lar rahhhhhhh.

question(s) of the day:
are your lips swollen??
what happened to your lips??
why are your lips so red/swollen??

thankyou everyone for your concern -.-
very pain can.
my dad insisted that i applied this weird gel thing he claimed works very well agains infections and i woke up with horribly swollen lips.
and went to school with horriblt swollena and red lips.
and nikki/yumei/olly claimed it was cos i uh. made out to much.
yeah right.

syf rehearsal at sch tmr.
anyway i'm missing bio test and have to retake after school, which means have to miss xiaozu. which is quite sad cos its our last xiaozu till after syf. and xiaozu's are actually quite fun okay. except when msding goes abit cranky. and there are nice juniors to teach!
we're starting dazus on saturdays so yeah.

biooooo.
i was supposed to go norturnal today but i'm still here so i guess i'm not?
sigh lar. okay 2 more days i'll survive.
lets go mug.

its 1115.
i just settled down 20 minutes ago?
i spent too much time trying to find my kamien cd, find the right track, listening to the berlioz symphony over and over again trying to follow the score, listening over and over again trying to answer questions, and deciding that i was hopeless and giving up.

after 3 years im starting to think that joining hmp was a mistake.
whatever i took 3 years to realise. or maybe i'm just deluded.
i shall not care about music o's and who cares if i flunk it eh. i'm definitely NOT taking a level music. i'll just drive myself crazy.

sigh today no sleep, tmr i go nocturnal. =D

i wans't allowed to watch tv outside cos tabi had to practice piano. roar.
so im like sitting on the floor in my parents room, bio stuff all over the floor, arena on tv, laptop on me, angst rising in me rahhhhh.

yesterday was horrid and i was just going off into dreamland in every lesson and hmp was roar. we started on prescribed work, haydn symphony no 104, first movement. its seriously no exactly interesting. i wish we could do some romantic symphony instead. and we're supposed to memorise the entire movement, score and all.

nanyang's costume thingy is really really ugly. whatever. blue and yellow?!? ugly school colours sigh. how did they lose since they totally owned the first round.

i slept through 60% of the lessons before recess today. im going got get a super super bad progress report for this term sigh.

we got back physics test. didnt do too bad but i was expecting more. i hate it when i expect too much and get disappointed not because i did badly, but because i didnt do as well as i expected.
chinese was. chinese. i decided my standard of chinese has been stagnant at sec 1 level.

lydia is going to get veryvery stressed in the coming weeks. too many things coming up.
olly went nocturnal yesterday and im going to join her soon.

sigh back to biooo.

i got up at 730 today to wake sharyl up and she didnt wake up till 8 despite me messaging and calling her 3 times -.-
i was craving for a subway cookie so we dropped by subway and she went nuts and had a subway burger for breakfast.
we left church very very early, barely had time for lunch, and went for lesson which was like rahrahrah. very sian and all. i fear our upcoming exam =/

the book of the week is esther! yay lets read.
input=output, so put good things in. =D

i cant believe i wasted away the weekend. 5 more days till saturday again.
syf practice at sch on thursday, with msding coming down to spy.
sharyl: its okay what, benefits my school. and i cant believe we got gold when you got silver 4 years ago.
=.=
then then there's cny concert, alumni cny celebration, guzheng concert to perform at. which means more practices.
and some stupid rehearsal falls on 14feb which ruins our plans to go out on valentines day rah.
hahaha

things to do:
1. ang arts srq (overdue)
2. lang arts kranji poem (overdue)
3. math 4.1 (tmr)
4. physics sia (tmr)
5. cme i got things to say (tmr)
6. study for chinese test (tues)
7. mug bio (thurs)
8. math portfolio forward (friday)
9. study for ih test (friday)
10. chinese sia (next week)
11. ih sia (week after next)
12. mug math (next week, with killer topics)

okay i told myself im not going to be stressed and somehow maybe the whole world must heard me and has started bombarding me with sia stuff. this is such a typical sunday event.
my eyes hurt alot and maybe i should attempt to go sleep and wake up later to chiong work
(or maybe i should just pon school tmr. not an option i guess. but theres hmp all the way to 6 tmr. i was just telling tianyuan how pathetic we are having to sit through lessons from 8-6 every monday. with slightly more than an hour of breaks.)
I WANT TO SLEEP.
soon.

think happy thoughts!

msding very nicely cancelled our lesson today cos she said she was too tired.
sharyl: she wants to change our lesson to 2-4 tmr. can?
me: tell her go and die lar.
so anyway there's no lesson, and i get to sit here and not do anything.

nikki said that i was boring cos i don't mention her in my posts. and i dont post photos (of her).
whatever nikki. see i'm mentioning you eh.

happy thoughts!

Chenchi's birthday! diminshed section plus cake

we uh. ate the cake. looks awefull gross but it was nice kay.

er. last year i cant remember when. we were bored. tianyuan looks weird though.


mafia! i have no idea why we took it without colour though.


haha again!


we hung out at some hypermart (giant or sth) after eoys last year

niners/hmp-ers! after hmp exam i think.


jonathan's the cutest kid on earth i swear. =D

churchies! sharyl looks incredibly weird here.

haha okay enjoy this post cos its going to be a long time before i bother to dig out photos again.
i shall uh. go continue getting depressed go do physics sia
happy thoughts!

I had a really really long and sucky day yesterday. Came home feeling tired/exhausted/bad/lousy/angsty.

i fell asleep during every other lesson.
i didnt eat a single proper meal.
i had a wear a size L skirt which i had to roll 3 times.
sarah has collected evidence(s) of my frustrated ramblings over the past week on her foolscape paper.
my lips are swelling up like saussages and burning and looking horrid rah.
i have lots of overdue work. =X

I'm still feeling like a zombie after 9 hours of sleep last night.

I AM STRESSSSSSED.
there's a million things to do this weekend, tests, sias and OVERDUE WORK.
there's piano and ruan lesson later, with like 3 hours in between which is neither here nor there so i cant really do much (except join sharyl and pf for bs and be an irritant)
okay i CHIONGGGGGG tonight lar.

sigh. let's go indulge in some classical music and bring my spirits up.
i hate being angsty.

(i am sitting here oblivious to the fact that i have lots of work due tmr, and sia's due from next week onwards, and more tests next week, and lots and lots of stuff to do.)

i cannot write poems roarrrrrr.

to aunt agony:
i am in absolute distress. Please write a poem on world war 2/japanese occupation/suffering/fear yadda yadda for me.
from,
very stressed nanyang girl.

i am lagging very badly with work. and i'm not caring. i don't know how to make myself care.
physics sia due next week, chinese week after, ih week after next, 2 tests each week for next 3 weeks. ih and chinese sia are dying. physics is begging me to start.
and i need sleep.
i havent slept before 12 this entire week.
i waste my life sitting in front of the computer wondering if i should do work, then complain and rave and rant

For the first time in 2 months i practiced piano again! haha twice this week. i'm cool right. its super boring cos the diploma pieces are boring and im playing seperate hands and learning notes roar.

go sleep larrr.

from equation, 1 mol of Fe produces 1 mol of FeCl

CHEMMMM.

i decided i dont like chem anymore.
getting a teacher that doesn't teach teaches at the speed of a snail doesn't help. all she does is make us laugh at her
i need to edit my srq and write some poem/reflection rubbish on kranji trip ROAR. someone want to help?
=D

Okay I've decided that I'm going to type with correct punctuation! Hahaha

I could sing of Your love foreveerrrrrr!

tmr is thursday and after thursday is friday!


GUILT.

i moved from lang arts to math to chem and got stuck on the 2nd page of my notes. i have a very short attention span. i think im antisocial.
whatever. songs! =)


Pray-truevibe

Thinking through, what to do,
You're searching every angle and point of view.
Good adivce, well rehearsed,
Only seems to make matters worse.

When you're at a dead end,
Where can you go?
My friend, there's an answer i know.

Pray, when the road is steep.
Pray, when your hope gets weak.
Know the Father hears through,
The silence and the tears you
Pray, when you don't know how,
Pray, heaven's waiting now,
And Jesus is just a breathe away.

Pray

The deepest sighs, of the heart,
Sometimes it a struggle when we first start.
To wrap our needs, up in words,
And trust that somehow we will be heard.
Draw near, and know you are loved,
God hears, and His heart is turned.


Pray, when the road is steep.
Pray, when your hope gets weak.
Know the Father hears through,
The silence and the tears you.
Pray, when you don't know how,
Pray, heaven's waiting now,
And Jesus is just a breathe away.

Pray

For the strength you're needing,
To go on believeing,
No matter what you face,
You'll have the wisdom and the grace.


Pray, when the road is steep.
Pray, when your hope gets weak.
Know the father hears through,
The silence and the tears you
Pray, when you don't know how,
Pray, heaven's waiting now,
And Jesus is just a breathe away.

PRAY :)

i've decided that im going to stop freaking out over this week . its just 2 tests larr.
anyway i got through physics. fell asleep a few dozen times, racked my brains over which way the stupid electrons were going to move.
i think i need to sleep lar.
my brain is like shutting down.

it hit me super hard today that i need to mug for physics.
cos like. i havent started on a darn thing? even though im pretty confident for most stuff. aiyah

i want to get at least 70% for every subject for SA and at least 75% for sciences and math and overall average
i am going to study hard for all tests and quizes and do my assignments well and work hard for sias and do super well. =D

lydia the mugging cow.

today was a weird day and i didnt know what to think but i kept thinking and and getting freaked out when i arrived at one thought!

hmp was rather horrible and i thought i was gonna fall asleep in the first 30 minutes. cherry brought a whole stack of sco's season booklets (which yujia delivered to her house hahaha) for us and i occupied myself reading. and then there was kompang workshop.
quite fun lar. better than doing western music and what, symphonies.

okay i shall go study and try to figure out physics (and my life)

i feel like some one just dumped a slice of nice shiny caesium down my throat.

for the first time in my life im going to start mugging for a test the day before. what happened to my plans for the night. i bathes and thats as far as i got.

i said something to myself. and also to God sometime ago. last year? but i think it was on impulse and all.

haha thanks guru olly (:
come to school and make me happy. somehow i think there'll be no peace in school tmr. and for the rest of the week.

i thinki dont know what to think

kompang workshop tmr though.

yes sharyl you have no idea how proud i am of you. you have proven that you're not all that insenstive to the sounds of your handphone and vibrations.
i went to sharyl's house today after church hahaha. and got her all crazy sorting her contacts on msn and thinking about her future.

anyway i didn't do any work today =/
sigh i think i really should study for physics and chem. :( what happened to my notes writing and studying obsession?

sharyl called my blog boring cos i didnt update. (from the person who has a self proclaimed 'most bring blog' ) the first time in my life someone said i didnt update. then she went on to insist that i change my so very ugly blogskin. hurrr. anyway apart from the posts part of my blog the rest have died really long ago. profile and links and sometimes tagboard. hahaa

i seriously seriously cant decide if i should join ge. =/

i think im going to suffocate from the smell of citronella oil.

we played with amos and danielle today after church and took lots of photos! why are kids so cute. amos was hyper and running around and making us run after him to prevent him from rolling down the stairs. hahaha. took loads of photos.

i shall do bathe, iron my uniform and mug. :(

In merely a few months, i've drifted incredibly far away from God.
I dont do qt anymore, I dont speak to Him much anymore, and I dont even feel him anymore.
even church has become so empty. worship and bs dont seme like worship and bs anymore.
i can just imagine him waiting faithfully and patiently for me to go back to him, asking me to draw near to him again. yet i continue living my life without doing anything, empty and souless.
Am i reallly gonna wait for something disasterous to happen first, before i do something about my empty life? like no.

Dear Lord, i ask that you allow me to draw near to you again, and come into my life once again. Amen.

i remember some time last year i made a resolution to practice for 6 hours each, piano and liuqin. and guess what! i never kept to it. ehhhehhehhhh
SO. im gonna attempt to do it again.
but i dont even think i have 12 hours in a week to spare.
okay fineee i lack discipline. but im going to change and do well for both instruments, private exams, hmp assesments and music o's :))

we went down do geco ytd hahahaa. i swear those juniors of mine are going to drive me crazy eh. anyway i got home super late and almost missed my stop. seemed like i was walking forever before i got home.

today went for flag day and it was quite dumb lar aiyah.
we walked alot. ate alot. nikki and tianyuan got followed by a security guard in ps hahaha

met sharyl and peifen (and their friends) at macs at bedok for bs with my sister. i think putting me and my sis together will drive sharyl nuts.
tmr is SUNDAY :)
im betting that sharylkua is going to wake up super late and be late again. rightttt?

ANDAND i packed my room. cool anot?
my bed is clear. apart from the zhongruan and my scores which i will pack laterrr. im going to move back into my room yay.

and someone please remind me to never ever peel my hard skin off again cos i suffer while trying to practice. =/

i think there's lots of work to do you know? plus tests to study for. but the topics tested are so annoyingly annonying. i dont see anything that needs to be studied. or maybe i've been too attentive in class that it seems like nothing else needs to be done.=P
still, i think i should buck up and stop not doing my work and copying work in school and stressing myself up while trying to hand in work punctually and also get started on sias roarrrr.

anyway, i hope mrs ee will continue to work her magic and nyco will continue to improve and be great AMAZING by the time syf comes. everything's starting to take shape, but we're kinda fluctuating abit, in technical aspects and emoting. me included, which is disappointing lar.
auditions are still taking place, so hopefully when the proper orchestra is formed we will improve more/quickly and get even better!
NYCO<3

zombies tmr.

i was trying to get raft done and pass it over to olly. i took about an hour to get past the first sentence, and 10 minutes to finish up.
bombarded with conversations you see.
then i finally finish! and go back to conversations, only to have everyone say byebye.

www.thisisolly.blogspot.com
we were lumbering AS USUAL from venue to venue, not actually learning anything, right?and then

PHOOOM.

mrs lai had to go and blow up.

hahha, okay mrs lai didnt blow up.

the sodium did. heehee, she never fails to make me feel awed and we always laugh at with her! so anyway, feeling crazily "generous" she took out this big shiny dollop of sodium and dumped it into water, crapping at the same time about ian being able to cook.
just as we were all simultaneously leaning forward to obseve the miniscule purple effervescence..

PHOOOM.

thing EXPLODED caught fire and blew debris everywhere, i would like to say 25 people where wounded and 5 were left dead. but no, we were all just severly traumatised and longing to see it again. but noo, not anymore. no.


i am amused.
hahahaha
whee we're not going to drown anymore. raft is done, we survived.
ester is dragging me off to geco tmr. haha how ironic that we get asked by a person not from ny.
anyway im prepared for a night of awkardness tmr. eeye later everyone very pro i'll be very sad.

i just drowned my eye in eyedrop. the lable said 1 drop per eye. i think i just put in 5 drops /eye
O.o
i feel like there's no school tmr.
i havent practiced piano how.
i dontthink 1 day of prac's gonna make a difference. on the other hand i've praced either ruan or liuqin everyday this week. sigh.

ah. perfect theres chinese math ih and bio tmr.
mrhan is going to hound us for ih readings. and im going to very gaily pretend that i've read the readings and am knowledgable. bio quiz for bio =/, more math crap and rah chinese. i never fail to fall asleep during every chinese lesson.

this is the lastest im sleeping in like 2 weeks. say yay.

im watching da vinci code.

i think raft assignments are super annoying. and pointless

hello!
go watch haha
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4uG85Oaca_o

we had audition today and i played rather horribly and at an amazing speed which i think shocked mrs ee. its amazing in a bad way okay. =/

ytd i went to find mrs ee to tell her i couldnt go for the rachmaninov concert. and she said i was pale and asked if i had eaten yet and if i even eat. and im like '?!?? omg she thinks i have eating disorder?!?' then she started asking me i if i was sleeping well and all.
hahaha.

ester wants me to join ge but she wants to abandon me and play ruan.
wenxin saw pss diya walk pass during xiaozu and got really excited.
i tried teaching sec ones to play and i realised i cant. me and ester kept screaming at each other over the right way to hold bopians and put your arm and tantiao and all. hahaha i mean i could tell something was wrong but dont know how to correct and dont know how to tell them the right way.
ahahahaa thats hsiufan's job lar.

THE IMPORTANCE OF SLOW PRACTICE.
howww. i need to be patient and practice at a slow speed and last at that speed instead of getting fed up and speeding up again. PATIENCE lar.

OH chem was super super funny today.
hahaha mrs lai almost killed all of us by being generous with the class and putting in a big piece of sodium into the water for reaction. which like exploded. haha darn cool. then while she was explaining theory stuff we nikki and yumei just sat down behind the crowd and started planning our double date on valentines day.

my dad said grey's anatomy is coming back YAY.

tomorrow is friday yayness :)

should i be doing something better with my life than listening to music, reading blogs, going on friendster and complainging to olly.
im bored yet i have tons to do. only because i dont want to do what there is to do.
oh wells. i'll just let everything build up so i can have an adreneline rush when i finally realise how much i need to do and how little time i have.
and me going into friendster says alot cos i actually detest friendster and rarely every go in unless my inbox gets bombarded with 'someone has added you' or 'you have new testimonials' crap. aiyah whatever.

i think i really really need to know! how.

Importance of a daily quiet time
We were created to have fellowship with God
Jesus died to make the relationship with God possible
Personal time alone with God was Jesus’ source of strength
Every person who has been effective in service for God developed this habit
You cannot be a healthy, growing Christian without spending time with God

AND IF YOU DON’T L
You will lose fellowship with God
You will find it difficult to relate to God
You will not have any source of strength
You will be ineffective in your service for God
You will not be a healthy, growing Christian


hohoho.
aye i go sleep lar.

i was about to complain that no one every tags me.
and then some anonymous person comes along and tags which is quite freaky gosh.
now i feel like im being stalked.

i just got back from lesson and msding was in a bad mood and scolded us like shit. and we were so quiet and didnt talk alot of crap like we usually do.

freaky. she keeps telling me to join her ruanzu. i wouldnt mind joining a ruanzu, not necessarily hers lar, if not for the fact that pracs are on sunday. cos its fun. ester just asked me if i wanted to join geco. which i dont mind, but aiyah. i told her after syf we shall decide. =D

i need to be more patient but im sorry that patience is not in me. playing slow pieces drive me crazy, having slow practice makes me tear out my hair. i like speed. roar.
okay PATIENCE.
and SLOW PRACTICE.

ITS SUNDAY TMR AND I AM VERY HAPPY.
go churchhhhhh. loooooooong time since we had bs.
yayyyy.

what does it mean when you heart beats super quickly and your face grows red?

i have been extremely spurred on to practice very hard. call me a loser, but i developed a muscle ache from lunning on a zhongruan. i can just imagine ester laughing her guts out at me.
but hey i survived 7 minutes which is like WOW since i usually can barely do 2 minutes.

we were supposed to have dazu today but mrs ee was on mc and laiweng conducted and it was super fun. not actually a practice cos we were fooling around quite a bit. practices with mrs ee are usually serious and hardly any fun haha. hsiufan was helping the ruans stick frets back on to the ruans cos 'ms ding put the ruan on the chair and it fell to the floor knocking off 3 pins' and she got her hand all superglued up. and me and tianyuan were playing cheekopah across the room.
laiweng stopped dazu and we were supposed to go have secionals but we ended up staying in m401 and slacking. and i learnt half of the daruan pu for jiankuai which is so cool. huiyi and cherie were trying to play a tune on the suona and looked darn retarded. XD

im supposed to go for piano lesson tmr but my teacher is not answer my calls and i dont exactly want to go :(
and theres lesson with dinglaoshi tmr and sharylkua is not telling me what time lesson is.

i want to be pro. =D

i feel like a bloody stalker.

i realised that with dazus on friday's i'll never be able to go for the fridays in church thingy. till like syf is over. gah syf. gah auditions with mrs ee =/ maybe i wont get in.

its really very very bad to be angsty for long periods of time and be mad at yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=dabiribd

i went to you tube andsome how i ended up on this page with this 10 year old boy playing the piano and he's darn cool can.
he plays with such professionalism and maturity and you can actually see his passion. he may not be all that skillfull or technically secure but how often do you see a kid play the piano like this. super cool :)

roar
i hate it when i come home early (relatively) and had a whole nice list of things to do and me all hyped up to complete everything. (knowing that tmr i will be kinda dead and in no mood to do work) AND THEN. i dont bring home my file, i go online and try search for stuff mrs seah told us to and all i find is annoyingly long essays and thesis papers which are did i mention, annoying?
then i try finding the math sia option form online and no i cant find it! then i try searching for a bio talk to attend so i can do the proposal for sia dna no i cant fint anything either.
the last thing i have on the list which is actually do-able.
uh. read up on spa skill 3 for chem. which is kind of the most irritating to do. its like chemistry.
sarah got back from thailand today and during chem she went 'i thought i'll miss alot for chem you know. but she hasnt taught anything new since i left!'
and she was away for a week can.

tmr we're going jurong island and im missing xiaozu RAHHHHH.
i want to pon jurong island and i rather go for xiaozu. cos. er. im currently in love with co. =D
prac prac prac.

the world is dying. fire in australia, extreme winter in us which is so freaky. see the cars skidding like nobody's business.

its still in my head

maybe i should go read my chem.

hahaha for some reason everything has been playing over and over in my head. seriously everything and it gets quite annoying lar. cos its constantly there. (does it mean something? ) but then again. AIYAH. its super mixed feelings and i shall stop thinking.

friends :)

me ester and wenxin have decided to embark on everyday lunch practices to lian ji ben gong and prac prac prac. actuually ester's idea lar. but might as well lar. since i havent done ji ben gong in a very long time (cos ding doesnt really care, she just complains). which means im gonna be praccing ALOT. with dazus 2 times a week, xiaozu once, official lunch pracs 2-3 times a week, plus self added practice. haha oh yeah so fun.

i guess we didnt mean it when we said we never wanted to perform for ding again.
at least i didnt mean it. its fun and all lar. anyway i think i'll probably be back performaing for her again in no time.

im really happy cos i finally cleared all my chinese work. but now there's chinese and ih sia and bio and physic sia.

sarah came back today. means i cant sit with olly anymore. haha its really fun sitting with her cos we do stupid stuff and laugh like shit but yet pay attention and learn alot. zheng actaully allowed us to sit together, then sarah objected and insisted she get her seatback. i tried really hard to convince zhenglaoshi that we study well together but she didnt believe me. hahahaha

maybe i can just hit the stop button and stop the replay permanantly! perhaps i wont delete it just yet. =D


whee okay i shall not be depressed anymore. rahhhhh.
oh wait ding is coming for xiaozu on thursday and treating us and sec ones are coming in too and I WONT BE THERE. ):

ester and cherie made me feel sad today after dazu cos they started talking about how sad they'll be after we graduated and then i realised that its our last year there and then we'll be GONE. im actually surprised how much my batch has bonded with the juniors, especially the sec 3's and even the sec2's. and im really really really going to miss them ALOT. plus batchmats tooo. sighhhh.
anyway we've made an agreement to join hcico and we'll have 1 more year together! (:

gosh i feel so much like a stalker.
rahh its still not going away

the internet is super slow and im happy that i'm finally finishing my yingyongwen.
i really need to stop procrastinating and maybe doing work infront of the computer with internet is not good.
okay im happy doesnt mean i aint depressed anymore.

i really need to get started on sias. roar. co's taking up so much of my time yet i kinda look forward to co and every opportunity to touch my liuqin/ruan(s).

anyway im really sorry to my dear group members who have been doing everything while i keep saying i will do but never do much. im gonna really really start now. get everything over and done with.

make me happy please?

i cant find my cds full of hillsong and other christian praise and so i cant do my work.

HAH i found unified praise but its not as nice as my mp3 cd so sigh. ohwells but better than nothing.

anyway sharyl kua dumped this on me on sunday and its kinda interesting. though i have doubts about the writer and all.

Rapture ready means you have God in your heart and living your life according to the Bible. If you have not accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, then you do not have God in your heart and you are not rapture ready and you need to be.

There is only ONE WAY to Heaven and ONE ACCESS to God and that is through JESUS CHRIST. If you reject Jesus Christ or feel you do not need Him to be able to communicate with God, you are mistaken. Jesus Christ died for your sins and makes it possible for you to come before God. Without Jesus, God will not hear you when you pray. Without Jesus, you will not enter into Heaven. Without Jesus, you are not rapture ready.

Our job from now until the rapture is to reach out to our family and friends and whoever else we have opportunity to warn and witness to. GET YOUR HEART AND SOUL'S RIGHT WITH GOD!! Clear up anything that might hold you back from going up in the rapture with the rest of us. Love people, care about people, have compassion for others. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.Forgive others who have wronged you. Don't let the sun go down on any ill feelings or unforgiveness!! Keeping your heart full of LOVE and FORGIVENESS. This is the answer to staying in the presence of Almighty God. Don't get left behind.

reach out! :)

sighhh

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

hello world hahahaha.

in attempt to stop watching tv and finish my long overdue yingyongwen (and you have no idea how much trouble i had trying to type those 3 words =/) i moved to the dining table to work. and now im kinda stuck on the laptop. so much for trying to concentrate.

hmp was killer and i fell asleep. mrs ee has a serious cd obsession which is quite freaky. she spent super long telling us how she likes this piece played by a particular person and orchestra and why she doesnt like the other and yadda yadda yadda.

then she gave us a 2 minute break and went on to japanese music and showed the video again and it was abit the boring lar. i officially do not like japanese music even more than gamelan.

then we finished half an hour late.
tmr there's lunch practice and dazu, wednesday im like free wow. thursday xiaozu, friday lunch prac and dazu. oh yay things are starting to pick up. we better get better soon. yay

my heart feels really heavy :( too many things on my mind. sunday is a week away and that's depressing. not good for health eh.

sigh i guess i should go do yingyongwen?

the performance was okay.
ding was.

i started with the motto of the day: lets be respected members of society! =D
halfway through, i couldnt give a damn anymore.
but ive decided that the official motto of the day is: hazel cannot do [insert random activity] cos she is short. hahaha
which is so mean since she's only sec2 and im not much taller than her hahaha.

what ever. we said alot of things, bitched alot, made alot of noise.
im sorry if people dont like us. oh wait im not sorry. too bad if people dont like us.
she can continue picking on nanyang and calling us noisy, irresponsible, irritating, troublesome etc in front of the entire ruanzu plus prss and yuying people and attempt to embarass but we're not going to care eh. we're gonnna ignore her and say stupid things that will annoy her more and whatever.

i mean she's a relatively nice person. during lessons at her house she's actually nice. i think. apart from saying/doing stupid things which make us roll our eyes and scold us consistantly for not having nice yinse and bu ping jun luns which we ignore with no difficulty. during xiaozus she acceptable. although i think chenchi still cant stand her. but still okay. and during performances she just transforms into this overbearing unreasonable monster.

we're gonna form the anti-ding ruanzu yeah man.
(okay lar not seriously)

unhappy things aside, performances are fun esp with section mates aorund.
i love these people <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_sWaUDciZUZo/RapFLXzKeBI/AAAAAAAAAAM/-VesizhN-hI/s1600-h/DSCN2700.JPG">
anyway.
<3 nyco ruan/liu =D

I AM DEPRESSED SHIT

:(

ask me why.
and i'll try to tell you without crying.

hang on or let go?
hang on=spending a huge lump of money and achieving more
let go=waste the huge lump of money spent before and achieve what a few (hundred?) thousand have achieved (which is as good as achieving nothing)

i wish i was rich than maybe i'll be a happier person without having to bother about money and go for as many classes as i like and take and fail as many exams as i want, and not feel a single bit of guilt. I WISH.

God will make a way, when there seems to be no way,
he works in ways, we cannot see,
God will make a way for me.

was i expecting it? or did i deserve it. and was it my fault?what the bloody hell happened.
i had hope and faith. which kinda came out as nothing. just left me depressed.
i hate it when this kind of stuff happens.
when the situation seems bad i try to keep the faith that everything will turn out right. and nothing turns out right. and its so hard to belive that this is his will. :(

at this point of time, i'm really really really looking forward to the performance tmr. its like the only this that is capable of reminding me that im not a total loser at music.
cheer up.

hello world. hahaha i got wireless internet

i have load of work to do and very little time.

but yay i get to go esplanade performa again. esplanade backstage is the greatest backstage ever hahaha.
if you thought sch's back stage was cool esplanade its like 100 times cooler. it's more like a hotel thingy than a backstage and i loveee! and we get nice huge esplanade passes which make us look like idiots when we try to take photos. and it golds nice dear memories! 100 people squeezed into 2 rooms meant for 4 people each, and the entire co spread out over the entire coridoor like poor refuges with nowhere better to go.

but then again its taking up so much time. we left xiaozu early ytd to go tampines and went through the wind and the rain to get there, lugging instruments around and getting freaked out by ding. and then i reached home at 11 and the poor people who lived in the west got home even later and i went straight to sleep didnt do any homework and so now i have lots of overdue homework. and its like what, the 2nd week of school. :( happy performances screw my work.

there's
1. chem practical (overdue)
2. la pre tape (overdue)
3. li jie wen da (overdue too)
4. ying yong wen (supposedly over due but the entire class didnt hand in so oh wells )
5. bio 1.1 HAH not over due. yet.
6. hmp listening assignment


aiyah lar wahla
saturday i shall CHIONG finish. but i'll probably wake up at like 12 so rah lar.

i almost died in school ytd and slept in the sick bay for one and a half hours hahaha.
we started cheekopah marathon me and yumei vs tianyuan and nikki. and we're leading 31-30 now hahaha.

then today leeyoumee never come and we decorater the board and mrs lai was very nice and brough lots of paper for us. and now the board looks niceee yay. olly came over to sit with me and we drew hands. i'm such a budding artist man. then we photo whored alot and there's lots of cool photos in olly's camera now haha

argh lets go sleep lar, so tmr can attempt to do work sighhhhhhh.

(today was the day we realised that the pricipal's name was mdm yap not mdm yak =/ hahaha)

happy birthday to me.


:)

my report is at 569 words now. i need it down to 350. i started at 620 :(
im going to go mad rah
and getting attacked by a stupid mosquito is not making me very happy.

512 now. i want to sleep already

anyway thanks sharyl for the present. but the old woman quite ugly can? i dont care im the nice looking one okay? =D

school's okay for now. as long as i keep deluding myself and pushing all sias out of my head.
ultimate co week coming up. my fingers are hurting already :(

dang i like performances. not exactly the organised nor the practices though. but i go for the practices willingly.

and if its gonna be such a chore and unwilling-ness builds up, not to mention hatred and moodiness. just screw it and not turn up lar. no one's going to force practices or performances on anyone. the thing i dont understand is how complains and cursing can come on and on, and say i dont mind not performing, and yet turn up for practices and performances.

maybe i have no right to judge. or whatever lar.

aiyah i gave up on my report already.
shall do it after peer marking.

AND I SHALL START ON SIA's THIS WEEK.
my holiday is over.

whee.

hello world.
happy new year :)

i cant wait to go back to school.
(no im not serious)

i havent finished my post mortem report but i have very sucessfully convinced myself that i can finish it in say half an hour if only i bother to sit down and concerntrate. so yes i have around 24 hours left so half an hour shouldnt be a problem.
i almost killed myself trying to self study matrices and binomial theorem today. im pathetic and i did 3 questions in a few hours.

yesterday was great. spent the entire day in church, almost the entire day lar.
played lots of foosball. had great watch night service. the countdown was hilarious.

went to for dinner at church person's house. jonathan! omg he was in such a good mood and smile at me lots and lots of times and played with my spongebob and got his saliva all over it. and he likes bryan alot. which is so unfair. he looked like a drunkard sucking from bryan's nike squirt bottle. which was like the length of his body.
he's seriously the cutest thing on earth. except that he gets a little boring when he's in a bad mood(on sundays) and in a stoning mood. (where he just stares and stares and stares and had no reaction at all.
jonathan! i'm going to kidnap him one day.

sigh okay im going to attempt doing math again.

hello! its been a month since i last blogged. cool right.
yes i know im cool.
so much has happened.
uh the best youth camp ever happened and ended
had my freaky piano exam (where i totall screwed up my brahms capricio and refused to talk about it ever since) i miss playing piano though.
went to taiwan and almost froze to death/got blown away by the wind and shopped for 8 hours. compulsive in-and-out-of-shops shopping
er came back and had camp after glow and caroling! it was a blast yay.
had christmas service! watch night this sunday!
stayed up till 3 on christmas eve writing christmas cards and not finishing! haha
and 3 was very early okay. crazy people like much and sharyl and lots others stayed up till 4++
next time we shall all have a sleep over in church and stay up writing christmas cards together!
played lots and lots of foosball yeah man.
er. procrastinate doing my holiday homework till after christmas and finally finished my jaipur reflections today. opps. but im too lazy to find ms seb's email adress and send it over. so er. too bad it can sit in my thumb drive for a few more days!
and yay i burned all my stuff from the computer and thumbdrive into cds. photos/sia/work and all and compiled them into a nice cd album. im in the process of ripping all my cd. every single one from backstreet boys and britney spears to hillsong! into my computer. and after which im gonna burn everything into like 5 cds and feel so proud of myself :D

tabi is seducing me right now. i am freaked out.

anyway im halfway through my post mortem report. why in the world is it called a post portem report!

haha in tuesday after it rained the whole of monday night and the whole of tuesday, and was sitll raining. we went FISHING. or rather we tagged along with the guys who went fishing. and it was probably the most ritarded thing i've done. the bus was coming to tanah merah at 530. at 510 we were still at home. rushed like mad idiots hahaha. then when we got there we didnt fish lar duh. anyway cyrus was out of town and we only had 2 rods between 9 people haha. so in the end we formed a little shelter (which leaked) with 4 umbrellas and hid underneath and played bridge. and sreamed at each other when ever water came dripping down the edge of the umbrella and our umbrellas were going into each others faces. haha i can imagine how spastic we looked.

i have made a resolution to pack my table and room before school starts (which is in a week :/ and i've started playing zone games again. hahaha)

HOHOHO.

i cant believe how soon camp is YAY.
i dont think i've ever looked forward to a camp so much
loveee

err.
we played ruanzu jingle bells today. i think we killed santa. =X


Sunday
pulled myself out of bed at 730 went to church and fried rotiprata with steph. haha so fun.
er didnt stay to help sell stuff. went off to cyrus' house for retreat. had worship, and a 30 min long prayer, and oreo cheesecake! made by charleen. went back to church for lunch. mich brought nice meat balls and potatos. i like.
continued with individual qt and sharing, then meeting. squeezed in a few games of bridge inbetween hahaha. XD
watched nightmare before christmas with churchies (danielletiffanymaxbenjoseph) on sunday after retreat! 3D worx. at vivocity. the show was at 630. we were still playing foosball at 530. haha got off the train at outram at 630 and ran like mad idiots to the nel. we got lost in vivo. not really. but we didnt know where we were going. just walked around randomly. walked in to the cinema just in time to see the 'please put on your 3d glasses' flash on the screen. the nicest 3D part was the little animation before the movie lor. the 3D stuff in the actual movie wasnt that impressive. i actually fell asleep once hahaha.
went for dinner at food republic and i so wanted to eat laksa till i found out it was 7 bucks for a bowl. we created quite a commotion. with the malt candy thingy and random (danielle) jokes. reached home at 11 plus whoo.

apparrently the hcco interaction thingy on sat was quite fun. haha maybe i should have stayed.
but anyway i had a nice piano lesson and nap with the time at home. heee.

i realised mrs ee is prolly the saddest person now. looking at the state of the orchestra. we're not the worst yet, but bad enough i guess. not the whole orchestra's bad, but erh. an orchestra half consisting of good players and half bad does not make a good orchestra. so there.

i really want to experience of working for a gwh, and getting a gwh. sth i missed out on last year. unfortunately

blister mysteriously popped up on my right thumb today. i later realised it was the result of bo-ing xian. (or ratherthe effect of trying to play tajike without a bopian. O.o
so well it hurts.

today was embarassing.
'our camel died of constipation in the tenth bar' was what hazel sent to ester after a maluating performance. it was seriously horrible. and the horriblest part of it was that mrs ee was in the audience. looking rather unamused.
a series of bad omens happened just before the performance
1. couldn't get key to m401, almost couldnt get instrument
2. my yi xian broke minutes before, managed to put a liuqin erxian on in time to go onstage.
3. huiyi fell off her chair on stage. while chenchi was trying to get her to move backwards, pulled her chair back and she sat down. on the floor
4. the pujia fell. just when we were about to start.

its rather disappointing that we usually play if not very well, fairly well during practices, but on stage things just crumble bit by bit.
hmm nvm jiayou :)

wheezz. tmr there's fundriasing. i cant wait to go to church. after much consideration i decided to excuse myself from com retreat so i can go for service and help out in our stall yay
i cant wait to go to church!

haha i think my previous post was abit weird. but i couldnt resist.
i feel sad for the lost.

my finger is bruised from da ban-ing again.
fingers ached.
i lugged a zhong and xiao ruan home today.

anyway tmr will be a day of
-going to buy tabi's school books. i tell you putting her in primary one is an insult to her intelligence. the first page of the english wb has a picture of a person, with arrows pointing to different parts of the body. and they're supposed to fill in the parts. and as if that's not easy enough, there's the answer written right there. so they're supposed to what, just copy the word into the box. ._.
-practicing piano. im setting 3 hours for that. yeah man.
-practicing liuqin ruan. 45 mins of ji ben gong and 1 hour for pieces.
-baking! oh yeah man im gonna make brownies. cool eh.

i've decided im going to start reading again. even if it means reading bimbo books i used to refuse to read. (shopaholic!hahah okay its quite nice) and i realised reading is like the fastest way to pass time during dazu. so yay for reading. XD\

hai im going to sleep early tonight!. early=before 12. haha sad life.

everytime i see someone worrying about death/the future i have this urge to jump in and evangalise. yet i lack the courage.
yeah what's new.

atcually i fear the future (no not death) too. thinking about how things will be like next year and in the years to come scares me. like. 'what if i screw up up sias' (which im procrastinating very well now) 'how am i going to survive taking a's' and 'i dont want to continue studying, yet i dont want to go out into the real world and work cos its so scary.' type of thing.
but come to think of it, all this run through my head randomly, and more oftenly towards the end of each year. yet every year i make it through. there actually nothing i can do, but live each day with the faith that God is with me and will see me through everything.

philippians 4:7-8
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

GOD can be can be there for anyone too. as long as you ask him. :D