20130929
day 7 of 11. 38 hours to go. :)
it was quiet as well today but not as bad as yesterday. at least i got to do a few things.
did a venepuncture on baby O! my first ever (successful) venepuncture on a baby! (she's 10 months old but her corrected age is about 6 months) i attempted venepuncture once on a neonate last year up in nambour but failed.
later on in the evening i was asked to hold baby O while the nurse changed her sheets.
nurse: she looks like she's going to spew.
vishu: don't vomit!
the next moment she has a large vomit, another nurse said she heard the splat all the way from the nurse's station haha. thankfully i was carrying her facing away from me so i didn't get any of it on me.
made a new friend today - a malaysian nurse. she's a casual nurse who just locums. it was pretty quiet today so we spent quite a bit of time talking. she's probably my parents' age haha, she has a 26yo son.
admitted a 6yo with gastro. brought the medical students with me and one of them (the one who wants to be a paediatrician) took the history and did the exam and even wrote the notes! all i had to do was come up with the plan and do the drug and fluid charts. though really i should have asked her what her plan would have been. pretending to be a good resident when really the med students know a lot more about everything than i do.
came home for about an hour for an early dinner. i don't like not knowing what's happening so i didn't stay away for long. after i went back to the ward vishu thought i hadn't left at all haha.
even when not much is going on and everyone is mostly studying, i still manage to miss out on things. life.
the digital clocks in the hospital have already changed to daylight savings time (a week early) and it kept confusing us. i hope they fix it tomorrow so i don't keep thinking it's time to go home when really it isn't.
i get to sleep in tomorrow! finally. :) :)
11:48 pm
20130928
day 6 of 11. :) 52 hours down, 52 (5 days) to go!
work yesterday was quite sian, but it was over soon enough. handed over to sarah and left at about 3.30pm (30 mins early). drove back to melbourne and got maccas on the way. i never fail to start driving in the wrong direction whenever i turn out from maccas. i always forget to do a u-turn. until i reach the lake. always.
conversation of the day:
sent an imaging form requesting a chest x-ray and neck x-ray with lateral views for a kid who we suspected had a foreign body. x-ray called me to ask for more details.
x-ray receptionist: can you give us more details on what you want?
me: we want a chest x-ray and neck x-rays to exclude a foreign body causing his stridor.
x-ray receptionist: so which part of the body do you want to image?
me: chest and neck.
x-ray receptionist: so.. does that have anything to do with the neck?
me: yes.
x-ray receptionist: do you want to look at the cervical spine?
me: no, we want to look at the airway.
x-ray receptionist: (discusses with someone else) can you write cervical spine on the form?
me: even though i don't want to look at the c-spine?
x-ray receptionist: yes. can you just add it to the form?
-.- i cannot imagine how i would have been able to control my facial expression if it had not been a conversation over the phone.
got to clayton at 6.05pm, went to j's place for like 10 mins before going to lg. thought about how i missed being able to tell everyone at lg about the above conversation without having to explain too much medically.
the parable of the sower.
"actually they already explained it what right..."
"shhh! don't spoil it, later they don't want to listen to me already." ;p
went to dessert story for supper after. i had kind of pre-empted that i might not be driving back to shep that night, so i fed the cats enough for 2 days yesterday morning. went home, showered, slept for 4 hours.
i've slept 4 hours in the last 39 hours. if i sleep at about midnight it'll be 41 hours. but i don't feel too bad really. probably felt and looked the worst in the morning.
got up at 4.45am, pumped petrol, and started driving to shep. saw a total of 3 dead kangaroos along the way. :( i thought they'd all learnt how to cross the road already! because i hadn't seen any dead ones for a couple of months.
was blessed to see the beautiful sunrise as i drove. :) i never get to see the sunrise because i'm never awake at that time. so pretty! was listening to For You and thought it was quite apt.
saturday before the sun is up
i'm out the door and on my way
that's why i travel all this way
for you
five long days and four more hours
till i am there again with you
had time in the morning to prepare the lists, check all the bloods, and read through the admission notes. there were 2 new admissions (both gastro), and we had only 9 patients in total (paeds and special care). ward round was quite quick even though we went around more slowly than usual.
admitted z's twin o, they are super cute together. my favourite ex-24+5 weekers! fixed o's NG tube so it worked again. after ward rounds vishu bought us (2 med students and i) coffee. :) then i did a few more jobs, discharge paperwork etc.
then i spent about 10 hours doing nothing. literally. i nearly died. it's the footy grand final today (freo vs hawthorn?) so i think everyone was just watching the footy and no one could be bothered to bring their kids into ED unless it was absolutely necessary - i was spying on the ED list and most of the kids who came in had broken bones.
didn't bring a book to read so i just played sudoku and facebooked and instagrammed and kept an eye on the ED list. at 8.45pm vishu called and said he was happy to cover me if i wanted to go home early. i gladly came home. nearly died of boredom, seriously. D:
i hope tomorrow will be quiet too, but maybe not as quiet. i have a feeling there will be an overflow of patients whose parents are more free after the footy final, ha. we shall see.
even though i technically went home yesterday (rusden) i felt like i hadn't been
home at all. home is where my cats are. ;p it's nice to be back haha.
wished AJ happy birthday on fb and this was her reply:
Thanks Fawn. You guys look so happy together. Gonna settle down soon??
hahaha.
happy three! :)
10:25 pm
20130926
day 4 of 11
there was a storm overnight. woke up to a banging noise and realised that my front door was wide open. what? D: the screen door was closed and locked though.
was super sian at work this morning because i'd gotten a text from stef overnight saying it had been really busy. when i arrived, trish told me "the ward has exploded with patients who don't need to be here" and proceeded to tell me about a 14yo boy who had been admitted with GCS 14 and had gotten a CT brain.
the boss had had to come in overnight for a sick kid so he was tired and grumpy and didn't really want to do any work. he kept asking me to come back and do stuff, which was annoying. and we ordered all sorts of imaging and pathology for no real reason. i asked kelvin, "what should i write on the request?" he shrugged. "write because dr g wanted it done."
was really glad to hand over to stef, who is even more over work than i am. she has a good reason though - it's day 14 of 14 for her. hope it's quiet tonight. and tomorrow, so i can leave early.
decided to go to melb for lg. i know i am crazy. it's not the drive back, that is always bearable. it's the drive back here that kills me. because it means work. and saturday and sunday are long days too. 14 hours.
23 days of paeds to go!!! i cannot wait.
10:10 pm
20130925
woke up at 6am this morning to lots of growling in my house. found becky playing with a tiny little field mouse while bailey followed and watched - i don't think becks gave him a turn haha. he would catch it and then let it go, the poor mouse would run a bit and get caught again. i managed to rescue it and let it back out, it seemed relatively unharmed though.
day 3 of 11. stef says i negatively attract patients, meaning it's always quiet when i'm on. ;p kind of, haha. discharged 3 from the ward and 3 from special care today. all that was left for stef to do was chase imaging results.
went for grand rounds in the hope of meeting my 100 hour CME requirement. :| i really i hope i have enough. i hardly got to go for junior doctor teaching/ grand rounds when i was doing o&g. tried not to fall asleep but it was really boring.
picked up my micro sd from the post office and went to coles. let the cats out for a bit, then they both decided to come home on their own after about an hour outside.
since spring seems to be well and truly here, i have been parking outside for the last few days in order to save some money. ;p hur hur, the little bits add up.
j is planning to stay in hospital until morning to catch a baby. D: the things medical students have to do, sigh. i hope he gets at least one birth.
11:36 pm
20130924
although we're apart
you're a part of my heart
but tonight you belong to me
back from a short hiatus born of grumpiness.
saturday
freedy & anna's wedding - my favourite thing was actually the rectangular tables haha. and the place. montsalvat was featured in one of the masterchef 2013 episodes so i've actually checked their website out before. it's even prettier in real life. and there are peacocks! j was asked to hurry up, ha. but he says he has no money.
sunday
was exhausted and felt like doing absolutely nothing. but i was on ohp so i didn't have much of a choice. thankfully jon and later alfons were there to help me set the thing up properly. went to watch planes after service. it was quite funny because the whole theatre was full of kids, i'm sure we were the only adults there without any.
monday
day 1 back at work, the mdt meeting went on forever and so did the ward round - we only finished at about 12.30pm. signed up for a random course on coursera just for fun. i wish they had more interesting courses.
tuesday
day 2 of 11. it was a slack day today. we only had 4 kids on the ward and 7 in special care. did 3 baby checks and admitted a kid from ED. the reg thought from the referral that it was a bronch and didn't want to start antibiotics initially, but i thought it was more of a LRTI and later when he looked at the CXR and bloods he agreed and decided to start antibiotics. this bug is going around, there have been so many of these kids with similar x-ray pictures.
went to collect a parcel after work. my new phone is here! :)
5:07 pm
20130922
your skin
oh yeah your skin and bones
turn into something beautiful
you know
you know i love you so
you know i love you so
10:18 pm
20130921
guess who appeared at my door with maccas breakfast this morning! :) so loved. :)
happy birthday daniel!
work was alright today. did a few jobs after getting the handover from stef, then pretty much sat around doing nothing for most of the evening. in fact, the reg snuck up on me and poked me with his pen while i was facebooking and gave me the fright of my life. he got a good laugh out of it.
at about 11pm i was asked to admit a kid with asthma, and while i was in ED they referred another kid with a resolved cyanotic episode. i don't like it when they try to refer to me just because i'm there. referrals are supposed to go to the reg. so i made the resident call kelvin to discuss it with him first, ha.
towards the end of shifts i feel a lot less stressed. what will happen will happen, i only have to do what i can in the time i have left, then i can go home and it will be the reg's problem. why would i ever want to be a reg?
just read that one of my ex-PBL tutors has died. D:
:(
1:10 am
20130920
life will pass me by
if i don't open up my eyes
but that's fine by me
it is difficult having so much time when the bf is always so busy. today in order to spend time with him i had to go over and sit in on his skype study group. they probably find me really annoying for making stupid comments like how code greens are announced on the PA at shep.
was itching to spend some time making something so i decided to make portuguese egg tarts. used kitchentigress' recipe, although i used puff pastry sheets prepared in a different way. (i actually really dislike kitchentigress as a person just based on her trashing of rasamalaysia throughout the whole blog entry, but that is neither here nor there.)
they didn't really brown the way they were supposed to and they don't taste quite right but i suppose they'll do. can't wait to go to hk and eat the lord stow egg tarts. not as nice as the real ones from macau but still really good.
i feel bad for not going down to the garage to feed the stray kittens after telling them i would. :\ hopefully they don't understand english. i saw the three of them huddled on a discarded mattress there when i took the trash out and tried to make friends with them. they are very terrified of people but i think i actually made some progress. it is so much easier talking to animals than humans.
ironed my dress and packed my stuff for the wedding on saturday. i really feel like i should clean my car before but i don't think i can be bothered.
i feel so sad.
came across this quote on val's facebook:
“Every language has its own version of um. French has euh, Korean eum, Finnish öö, Russian eh; even sign languages have signs for um. The fact that most languages have some kind of um suggests that it serves a natural and important language function. So what is this important language function? Why do people say um? Not because they are nervous. Scholarly studies of the word reveal that the use of um does not correlate with anxiousness or any particular personality traits. Rather, um is used to signal an upcoming pause—usually uh for a short pause and um for a longer pause. The pause may be needed in order to find the right word, remember something temporarily forgotten, or repair a mistake. Um holds the floor for us while we do our mental work. It buys some time for thinking.”
- Arika Okrent
so not looking forward to work, ugh.
12:51 am
20130918
rough waters make tough sailors
today was chaddy vip sale day! i wore my uncomfortable shoes to make sure i wouldn't stay too long, ha. i don't think i spent that much. just 2 dresses, a pair of havis (for zhilin), cards, boost. wanted to go and get cat food (20% off!) but i couldn't find a parking lot near petbarn and i wasn't about to lug 8kg of cat food around.
was helping j look for cards and i kept sending him photos of cards with foxes haha.
might need to alter one of the dresses. it wasn't cheap but it's so pretty! heh. was very tempted to get the forever new dress and alter it to a more wearable length, but it would still have been $70+.
came home and spent most of the time in the kitchen. made 2 batches of macarons (the first failed and i was really upset so i tried again), three cups chicken, ice cream. the macarons are really ugly (the feet stick out and they don't have well-formed bases), but they're chewy, and together with the milo ganache it tastes really good. it's the only reason why they are sitting in my fridge rather than in the bin.
so not looking forward to my extra-long work week. :|
so much rain.
11:46 pm
what does the fox say?
this song is stuck in my head after watching eugenia's instavideo. it is hilarious though.
woke up early to go to the city to get my hair cut! went to the place daniel went yesterday - sui salon 1. didn't have to wait long despite not having an appointment. their hair-washing headrest is super uncomfortable. i thought my neck was going to cramp up in that awkward position. :|
so now my hair is basically a shorter version of what it used to be. i've gotten rid of all the bleached ends (and hopefully most of the split ends) but there's still a hint of curl left. it's also a lot lighter and thinner than it used to be.
dabaoed curry chicken don from don don for lunch. :) went over to j's for the afternoon, where he complained++ about his partner and how he hates o&g and how c-sections are gruesome. perhaps i'd gotten used to the mess haha. blood and liquor (and sometimes mec) everywhere. ;p but it's really not that bad. what i didn't like about caesars is feeling like i had to deliver the baby for the woman. by pushing with all my strength on her fundus.
went to lobster cave for dinner! ate until we wanted to die. D: so full. the entree was really good, but the mains and desserts were disappointments. there was a little possum climbing the heater thing outside! so cute. then we went for a drive along the beach trying to find where we went in june.
bought my new phone. :O after convincing myself that i shouldn't wait till jan because i shouldn't renew my contract because who knows if i'll be in aust for another 2 years? so now i am broke. but tomorrow is the chaddy vip sale and i feel like shopping. D:
j lent me the spare rice cooker from his house = i can finally cook rice in rusden!!! so i'm going to cook three cups chicken again. :D yeay.
12:45 am
20130916
all that is gold does not glitter,
not all those who wander are lost;
the old that is strong does not wither,
deep roots are not reached by the frost.
it's been such a dreary day. spent most of it in bed. ;p got up at 11.30am feeling rested. :) showered, had my leftover papparich food for lunch, then dragged myself out to pump petrol and get some groceries in the rain.
watched some once upon a time, cut and painted my nails, and cooked pasta with tomato sauce and meatballs. it's not as nice as the last batch, hmm. :\ also couldn't be bothered to make the actual pasta today.
j came over for a bit after school. he was whining incessantly about how he doesn't like o&g and he wants to just curl up and die. emphasis on the curling up and dying part (repeated at least three times). he bought a laser pointer (online) for the cats. :)
made chocolate custard to make chocolate ice cream tomorrow. :D once my cuisinart bowl has sat in the freezer for at least 24 hours haha. and since the ice cream recipe required 3 yolks, i am left with 3 egg whites.. which naturally leads to me wanting to make macarons soon haha. ;p maybe wednesday? milo macarons? :)
to cut hair or not to cut hair....
11:10 pm
20130915
there's a fire starting in my heart
reaching a fever pitch
and it's bringing me out the dark
got up early to bake corn muffins for j. liliane says i shouldn't spoil him haha. went to church for the final session of the bible conference 2013. charlene said j and i look alike haha. what?
pizza and pasta for lunch, then we went all the way to high point to look for the samsung galaxy s4 mini at the samsung experience store. but no, they didn't have it. -.- though i think i might prefer the s4 anyway.
so we gave up. had boost (yay!) and bought gold nail polish for the wedding. :) then we drove back to the city for billy's choir concert, which turned out to be a choir gala of some sort.
was supposed to have dinner with tae after, but he bailed on us (not unlike tae at all), so we had dinner with charlie, billy, peter, and two of billy's friends. kolo mee for the first time! thought it was not bad, but loyi says it hasn't reached miri standard haha.
had N2 gelato for dessert. :D have been wanting to try that place out for ages, but we only got the chance tonight. it was super crowded and it took quite a while for them to make our gelato (lemon lime & bitters and buttered popcorn), but i guess it's alright because it's quite fun watching them. thought the gelato was quite nice too. and we just missed daniel haha.
don't know what to do with my hair for the wedding. :| maybe i should just go and get it cut so i can wear it as is. :\
11:02 pm
gather
switched back to my iphone this afternoon. it makes me feel kind of sad haha. to wait till jan or to just buy now? ;p he lost all his contacts because of me. D:
slept in and only got up at 9+ this morning. was going to bake corn muffins for the bf but he called to hurry me up so i didn't get a chance to. realised that i don't have the right flour anyway. drove over to his place and we went to chaddy for lunch (pappa rich) (for the first time), a movie (Red 2) and froyo.
got batteries for my LC instant back and went around trying to find an s4 mini but failed. s4 maybe? $589? don't know? supposed to be saving money though. T.T
went over to briggs to attempt macarons with rachel. i really think i need to stop using my macaron mat, it ruins everything. but i think part of it was the macaronage too. :| not sure why the caramel didn't really work.
tried a roll of instax using my LC-wide but the correction lens doesn't fit because mine is has the wide angle lens. :\ wonder if it'll work without the correction lens. i guess the only way to find out is to try. :\
candy crushed/ pinterested/ facebooked/ instagrammed at j's and attempted to contribute to his study group. i really need to stop eating dinner there. it makes me feel so bad.
this morning was trying to get becky's attention-
"becky. becky. becky. becky."
he completely ignored me.
"
becker."
he turned his head sharply to look at me, and started purring. pretending to know his real name, i think.
1:02 am
20130914
contradictions;
don't it always seem to go
that you don't know what you've got
till it's gone
they paved paradise
and put up a parking lot
stayed in bed till about 11am today. ;p still feel tired though. had scrambled eggs for brunch, washed the dishes, packed and loaded the car and started driving at about 12nn. road works on burke road so it took a bit longer than usual. bailey kept wanting to sit in my lap today.
came home, unloaded, then brushed the cats because they were shedding like crazy today and i was sick of being covered in cat hair. could have gotten more loose hair out but they got cranky and tried to claw me. defrosted one ziploc of egg whites and reconstructed my LC-wide with the instant back! :D can't wait to try it out.
went to clayton to get stuff for macarons and dinner from wurung gudeg. wanted to get batteries for the instant back as well but couldn't find them. went over to j's and he attempted to teach me how to use his phone. i think i remember less than half of what he said, hmm. had dinner and watched prison break, then went to uni for the bible conference.
the mentality of a pauper vs. that of a royal.
went to watch justin babysit nat and tim at ivy's. he is good with kids. i just try to avoid them as much as possible (something which is rather difficult to do at the moment given my current job). so i don't know how that is going to work out.
1:14 am
20130913
from the mr brown show -
"the iphone 5c is the budget model. i think the C is stand for cheap. or china. or children."
day 4 of 4! :D i am so glad it's over. feeling exhausted today and i'm not entirely sure why.
it was a busy day. quite a few kids in ED and a sick one who kept having right-sided seizures. when he went for his CT brain i was asked to go with him, and the nurse told me she was bringing the paediatric intubation stuff. as if i would be able to intubate him! prayed so hard that nothing would happen, and nothing did.
thankfully we didn't have a DKA on top of that. she's got newly diagnosed T1DM but wasn't acidotic. i was so tired that i nearly wrote up fluids with dextrose. -.- when i do admissions i make sure i write up the drug chart and fluids but sometimes the reg doesn't. had to go back to ED a couple of times to write stuff up, sigh.
will hopefully get to go and look at phones over the weekend. ;p wonder if i will have the patience to wait until jan haha.
am rather annoyed at having to do certain things for certain people. i don't even want to do this but i still have to get ingredients for you? i still have to age the eggs for you? can i just bake for you instead? at home and by myself? sigh. :|
am extremely thankful for the next 7 days off. i get to paint my nails again. ;p
happy friday the thirteenth!
1:38 am
20130912
day 3 of 4. :) we decided to go with our original 3-way swap so i get this weekend and the whole of next week off! :D okay not the whole of next week, i have to work friday.
thought it was going to be a busy day but it wasn't really. did one admission (pneumonia) and sent another kid home from ED. there were quite a few other kids in ED over the course of the evening/ night but somehow they never got referred haha. they either gave up and went home before being seen or were seen and sent home or were still being worked up. ;p either way, i was pretty free. just had to check up on the two asthmas and one pneumonia and one having a platelet and blood transfusion.
emailed sarah a paeds handover of sorts so she won't be too lost when she starts next week. i'm really thankful that everyone agreed to the original swap. otherwise i'd be working this weekend. D:
i do not understand why my irritant contact dermatitis is not going away. i've not even really been washing that many dishes! :(
j got my letter. :) i was only expecting it to arrive tomorrow haha.
randomly started looking at phones this morning. i think it was initially to check out the new iphones, but they are so ugly. so i started looking at others. contemplating switching to samsung. yay/nay? j is lending me his s3 (and temporarily downgrading to his old s2) so i can try it out. :)
i feel so tireddd even though it's only day 3. can't wait for my week off. ;p
1:58 am
20130911
day 2. i don't even know how many days i'm working this week. -.- this whole shift swapping thing is turning out to be so much more complicated than we ever imagined.
cannulated a kid for the first time in my life today. was really nervous but the kid was brilliant really. he never even flinched. it was all very uneventful really.
was going to attempt to cannulate a baby - a 1.7kg baby no less, but vishu managed to save the old cannula.
admitted one of our ex-prems from ED with vomiting. it's a lot easier doing an admission when you already know all the history from when the patient was previously admitted. she seems very well so hopefully she goes home tomorrow.
there are a few kids with bad asthma on the ward. i hope they're better tomorrow.
T was transferred back from rch after having his chemo. i think it's quite ridiculous to send patients inter-hospital at night (he arrived on the ward at 11.30pm). and it's equally ridiculous to not send a discharge summary or letter with them (they came back with the documents we'd sent with them to rch). i hope his neutrophil count is >0.2 tomorrow.
managed to drag myself out of the house this morning to get my photos developed at camera house. :D it's a 1 hour service and only costs $13+ per roll! today it took longer than 1 hour because the lady had canteen duty at her kid's school haha. really like how some of the photos turned out but some are really blur as well.
took the leap - profile picture. everyone knows already anyway so it's not really a big deal. maybe it will help to distract from the fact that i'm wearing the same dress to the wedding? provided i can even go. -.- ugh medical workforce.
okay really tired time to sleep.
2:15 am
20130910
day 1 of ?4 ?7
saw my first ever vaginal breech delivery today. twin 1 was cephalic and twin 2 was breech so they did a trial of vaginal delivery successfully in theatre. the reg says i will have to do the next neonatal resus. D:
spent most of the rest of the evening/ night doing nothing much. did a few discharge summaries and follow up referrals.. kept a close eye on the ED list. they were really busy so it took quite a while for the referrals to get to me. did a couple of admissions then the reg came and asked me to go home (at 12.30am).
medical workforce is being a pain and refusing to approve any of our shift swaps for stupid reasons. sarah and i have both decided that it would be best to just ignore them and go ahead with our initial three way swap. stef seems to think that's the best way to go too, but i hope we don't get into trouble for it. shall wait for her reply tomorrow to see if i'm working this weekend or not.
contemplating getting my film developed here. ;p i have two rolls at the moment. might go into town to do that tomorrow morning. i want to see saturday morning's photos heh. plus whatever else is on there, i can't keep track anymore.
time to sleep!
2:32 am
20130909
quick blog before work! (because i feel better today)
forcing myself to have some lunch before going to work so i don't starve by dinnertime. got up at 9.40am, left home at 10.35am, arrived in shep at 1.05pm. have to leave for work in a bit.
sunday
yesterday was a looong day. j picked me up at 6.30am and we went to the airport to pick his cousin amelie up. she wanted to go to mart130 and we'd already decided beforehand to bring her there! :) mart130 is one of my favourite places to bring people.
went back to j's for a short while before going to church. sleepy. didn't stay for lunch, which was slightly sad. his initial plan was to drop his cousin off at chaddy but i didn't think that was the best plan. so we ended up bringing her to mt dandy - silvan reserve, grant's picnic ground, pie in the sky. dabaoed pies instead of eating there.
j gave me a stick which he randomly found on the ground. he called it the 10 year stick and insisted that i never lose it. he'll ask me about it in 10 years.
we were all exhausted after that so we went back to j's to rest for an hour before going to the airport again to pick his other cousin up. the poor boy was exhausted from driving the whole day, i really should have driven in the afternoon instead. :\ too bad i can't drive his car.
went to have crab noodles at box hill, recommended by jane. thought the crab was good but the noodles were okay only.
so much time together, but none of it quality time. :( oh well, i'll be back again in a week.
i wonder how the cats feel when i leave them alone in shep for the weekend. when i got home this time bailey didn't even want to come near me. :( it made me feel so guilty, maybe i should bring them back next time. :\ becky was more forgiving though.
2:07 pm
20130908
it's easier to be the crowd
to just fit in and not stand out at all
to make a case for apathy
and never risk a thing in case you fall
and this is life and we all decide
the stand we take and this is mine
that i am not ashamed, won't walk away
not trying to disguise, or ever hide the
reason that i choose to be a fool
for the one who saved my life
i won't apologise
holding on to what i can.
10:21 pm
20130907
you will find me
i'm at the point of your breaking
behind all the noise
when your world is
darkest i can still see
'cause when there's nothing left
i'll be
woke up early to go to the city for the CAMD adventure. j picked me up and we drove there, thankfully. ;p i really dislike taking the train to the city. ;p had breakfast at subway before meeting everyone else at flinders.
then we visited a few spots:
1. ngv (national gallery of victoria) - ian strange Suburban exhibit (very strange)
2. hosier lane (graffiti central)
3. st paul's cathedral
4. state library of victoria - finding james and making a pinwheel without instructions
abalone figured out how to make the pinwheel! amazing! ;p it really spins. ;p how cool is that? we were meant to have lunch at the little mule after, but it was closed. :( so we ended up at ramen ya instead. salty. i realised that after ippudo (and butao) i really don't care for the usual tonkotsu broths.
i think what i liked most about the adventure was stopping to notice and appreciate things instead of hurrying by, as i tend to do (- i walk very quickly). take time to smell the roses?
everyone went home after, i walked around a bit then met j, daniel, and akmal and we drove back home. so much better than taking the train! ;p (so spoilt, i know) (perks of having a car) (perks of having a bf who doesn't like to take the train) went to springvale to get groceries and then back to my 4th home. :)
beheaded and shelled prawns and daniel helped me take the poo out. fried the heads and shells, then boiled them in chicken stock. added pork belly. when j woke up in the evening he fried up the hokkien mee! singapore style! :D this is a big deal because this is one dish that is very difficult to find in melb, because it is so uniquely singaporean. most of the restaurants we go to are malaysian, so they only have the malaysian style hokkien mee. the singapore one is so much nicer though. ;p
we used the wrong noodles, but it still wasn't too bad. can try again. ;p
played sudoku while j had his study group. randomly tried to chip in with my two cents - because that is all the medicine i know. i suppose i have learnt stuff since i started paeds. all by osmosis though.
he tried on his suit with the bowtie! looks not bad. ;p
tomorrow i have to wake up early again. :( going to the airport to pick j's cousin up. then maybe brunch. then church. then another one of his cousins is arriving in the evening so we're going to the airport again. then crab noodles. :D so fat. going to be broke also.
11:31 pm
day 7 of 7, i'm back in melbourne. :)
was trying to figure out why i'm so tired, and i think it's because i'm used to not doing any real work since i've started paeds. particularly since it's been so quiet all week.
when i left yesterday afternoon we had 1 patient on the ward and 4 babies in special care. this morning we had 8 patients on the ward, 1 in ICU, and 4 babies in special care. over the course of the day (while i was around), we admitted 2 babies to special care and 2 kids to the ward.
spent all day running around doing jobs. had just started to talk to a mum to do an elective admission for a baby when the RCH oncology fellow called me back about our ALL kid. then that baby went for a cranial ultrasound. then i was called to do an admission for a kid with asthma in ED. then after handover i was just going to go up to special care to order a CXR for one of the new babies when the other new baby arrived from monash and so i had to do that admission too. thankfully it was a simple one so i just did it quickly and left at about 4.15pm.
i never got around to doing that elective admission, i hope hoa managed to do it sometime this afternoon.
it's always nice seeing patients i knew from o&g who've had their babies. there aren't many around these days, so seeing the occasional one makes me happy. :)
arrived at uni about 20 mins late for lg, but still in time to eat. people liked my butter cake and had seconds. :) :) watched Like Dandelion Dust, which i actually didn't like, because the whole story is based on the fact that this couple want to go and get their kid who they adopted out 7 years ago. no matter the legality, what gives you the right to mess up that kid's life like that?
how selfish. dislike.
went out for supper after and ended up eating ckt.
so many things happening this weekend, i feel exhausted just thinking about it.
when i was a kid people used to say i was so gullible. somewhere along the line i stopped believing everything people said. people almost always disappoint.
1:24 am
20130905
day 6 of 7! only 1 to go! :D
when i got to work this morning the reg and boss were already there. :| they were talking to pets about poor z, the ex 23-weeker, who desaturated overnight and required cpap. :\ z was eventually transferred back to rch.
which left us with one patient on the ward. ;p i hope it stays like this overnight and next week! if there's nothing to do tomorrow afternoon maybe i can leave at like 2.30. ;p
we've got a 10yo boy with ALL on chemo with febrile neutropenia (and pancytopenia). yesterday's bloods: Hb 58, WCC 0.5, neut 0.2, plt 18. today's (post PRBC and platelet transfusion) bloods: Hb 68, WCC 0.6, neut 0.1, plt 26. spoke to the onc fellow at RCH and we transfused him again today.
and there are only 4 babies in special care. our list fits on one piece of paper. ;p
had to do syphilis bloods on mum and baby today. much to my relief, kelvin asked me to do bloods on mum while he did bloods on bub. ;p so today i did a venepuncture, for the first time in like 6 weeks. ;p haha. asked mum if she remembered me, because i had a part to play in convincing her to have her benzathine penicillin injections antenatally. it's not fun having like 6ml of viscous antibiotics intramuscularly, on 3 separate occasions. in her case, she actually had to have 4 because she was given benpen instead of benzathine pen. i told her i hope it was all worth it!
had teaching in the afternoon, where the reg demonstrated scenarios - explaining the diagnosis of a VSD, telling a mum her baby had been given someone else's expressed breast milk, and convincing a parent to consent for the MMR vaccine. it was a bit strange.
fairfield is all over social media. i don't know why the kids were climbing the fence though, there are so many better places to be. -.-
abalone asked me to make mooncake. i am not a fan of mooncake, i don't think i've had any for at least 2 years, but i am up for the challenge. ;p if only to say that i can make mooncake haha. but that depends on whether i can find mooncake moulds, hmm. unlikely.
skyped with j today while baking my (hopefully) ombre butter cake. :) he bought us vouchers to lobster cave! :D back to the butter cake: opi makes the best butter cakes, but it's difficult to follow her recipe because she doesn't use one. this one smells nice and buttery so i hope it tastes as good! (and that it is somewhat ombre-ish).
tuna died today. :(
8:59 pm
20130904
day 5 of 7 - 2 to go.
medical workforce is really annoying. they didn't approve our three way swap because it's not all within the same pay period (so some of us might technically have to be paid overtime, and others might not be working enough hours). not like any of us cares about being paid overtime - we just want to be able to go to things when they're on! sigh. the roster is pretty good in that we get quite a bit of time off, but it's just so complicated to organise a swap.
so the current plan is for me to work 9-15 sept (hence missing bible conference, macaron making with rachel, and billy's choir concert), and have 16-22 sept off (hence being able to make it for freedy & anna's wedding and do ohp in church). both good and bad. provided medical workforce approves. they might not, because it means stef has to do a double (which she doesn't mind).
found a recipe for (singapore) hokkien mee, which j is supposed to cook for me this weekend, because it's his turn to cook for me. ;p i think i am actually more excited about the prawn broth than the actual hokkien mee haha. but the prawn broth is my job. hopefully i don't just drink the whole pot. ;p
let the cats out for the third day in a row. they keep vomiting grass. but it's meant to get a bit colder again in the next few days.. my fan heater is on holiday for the time being. i think the problem with letting them out when we're in rusden is that they can't run to a place they know is safe (ie. home) when they're scared. so instead they run and hide randomly.
took a nap (again) (why do i not learn from experience) and woke up feeling not too bad. had a tiny bit of dinner and started having this headache again. worse than yesterday. head feels like it is going to explode. :( i really prefer my o&g roster. working till 8pm every day means i never end up taking naps at 6pm. :(
$2.88! is how much we have made out of nothing so far. it may seem like nothing, but really it is something, because it is ours. :)
10:42 pm
20130903
day 4 of 7. 3 to go. :)
i tried carrying the weight of the world
but i only had two hands
too many thoughts, not enough words.
have since also been rejected by rwh. not that that was unexpected. though a year of o&g would have been nice. 2 down, 7 to go.
let the cats out again, but not for long.
j has been calling me daily the last couple of days, and multiple times today. i think he is feeling guilty for not paying attention to me the other day. either that, or he senses the undercurrent of grumpiness.
took a nap and woke up 1.5 hours later with a headache. -.- this is why i don't take long naps, ugh.
current read: every day by david levithan.
summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
heard this song on the radio at work today. it really doesn't make sense in australia haha. winter has come and passed...
11:46 pm
20130902
so wake me up when it's all over
lazy day at work - day 3 of 7. 4 to go!
updated (or rather, made up) the handover list, printed the radiology meeting list, went for the radiology meeting, multidisciplinary team meeting, paed round, special care round, coffee, baby check. called RCH and RWH to find out about z's follow up plans but without much success - i hope they called stef back later in the arvo, otherwise i'll have to try again tomorrow.
couldn't not let the cats out because it was such a lovely day (26.5deg!). wasn't particularly worried about them running away even though they bolted the last time when j and i took them out for a walk. let them wander around for an hour - becks stayed pretty close by but bailey wandered further. but i still managed to find and catch him when i wanted to. played with my honorary meow too. :)
my modcloth stuff finally arrived! will go and collect it after work tomorrow. :)
came to the frightening realisation that i have not cannulated anyone for at least 5 weeks. hmm.
also realised that there are a lot of things (and people) (and situations) that i am averse to. and then i develop an aversion to anything related to those things (and people) (and situations) and then it just spirals.
some times i just feel like deadweight.
so far:
24 nov - fly back to sg
1-4 dec - hongkong
7 dec - linda's wedding!
11-19 dec - phuket
20 dec - ?the big 10
21 dec - fly back to melb
9:48 pm
hello spring! :D
i think that although it's been getting slightly warmer over the last couple of weeks, melbourne decided to step straight out of winter into spring. it's suddenly so much warmer, i can't get used to it! but it's good of course. i look forward to being able to wear skirts and shorts and making some vitamin D. :) :)
was a lazy day at work. did almost nothing at all. okay, except for rounds, 2 baby checks, a few discharge summaries.
talked to one of the o&g residents about their new roster. apparently they get to go to clinics, but they don't actually get to see their own patients because there aren't enough consult rooms. so they just sit in with the consultants like med students. -.- how stupid is that? and they get to assist in elective theatre list, but only as second assistant. okay that is better than not assisting at all.. but the clinic thing is a bit zzz.
my mother bought j's phuket tickets today. ;p and she might have gotten our hk tickets too! 1-4 dec, i can't wait! already dreaming of all the food....
i'm glad my long days are over! :) ready for short 7.5 hour days now.
watching the masterchef finale! since rishi and samira are out i have no choice but to root for lynton now. emma does not deserve to be there. -.- she cries at like every challenge!
12:31 am
20130901
flight risk-
and the countdown starts again: day 1 of 7. it was a long day even though i really didn't do much work.
nearly fell asleep in the afternoon sitting in front of the computer, wishing i could be eating N2 gelato instead of being stuck in hospital 200km away. couldn't even be bothered to go up to special care to do the baby check. (doing checks on big babies is less fun than doing checks on little babies)
watched the reg do a developmental assessment on one of our ex-prems, which was quite interesting. he was born at 23+5/40 and he's nearly 10 months old, which means his corrected age is about 5-6 months. based on the developmental assessment we did today, he's about 5 months, which is not bad considering what he's been through. and he's ahead of his twin even though he was the sicker one.
neck x-ray of a 13yo - steeple sign? lateral view was fine but she developed stridor again and so was sent to the royal children's. reg says, "her x-ray is even better than the one on wikipedia!"
sometimes i think i'm falling sick but really it's just psychological. the body is strong but the mind is weak.
just had my passionfruit rekorderlig macaron and it's still a textural nightmare, people please don't judge me tomorrow! :( especially after all your luxbite macarons today. :( :(
LIES. i will always be reminded of sebas when i think of this word, said in this manner. it's like the whole room reverberates with the betrayal of that one word.
i think it worked out much better this way. even though i still want to know.
"i have not grown gracefully but i have grown." (Ashley Neese on the 60/40 rule)
time to sleep so i can stop thinking. hello spring, i am so glad you're here.
12:21 am