20130731
bye july/ hello august
dragged myself up and out of the house this morning, for the sole purpose of getting my b&w film developed.
at huntingdale station there was a dog wandering up and down the tracks. i was really quite worried for it, but a lady jumped down and rescued it. it had a tag but i think it only had its rego number on it. thought about how my cats have my number on their tags, but that would only work if someone was actually able to catch them - with bailey it's possible, but with becks, highly unlikely. and also, if their breakaway collars don't breakaway first. they used to be really good escape artists, but i guess in the current homes it's quite difficult. ;p
since i was in the city, i went shopping. D: zara is one of my favourite places to shop at and it is extremely difficult to resist walking in. even more difficult to resist buying a pair of amazingly pretty pants. D: which were not on sale. D: but so pretty. and wearable to work (that justifies everything). also went to dotti. and daiso. and sportsgirl, but i didn't get anything there. couldn't find pigeonhole, i think they closed. :\ or moved. also dropped by the face shop to get a foot mask for j, who has cracked heels. saw it on mabel's insta and thought it might be useful. ;p i hope they fit his giant feet. (..apparently not.)
was very tempted to brunch, but chickened out. dabaoed food from rose garden and dondon and took the train back to huntingdale. it's a strange thing, walking back from the train station.
had lunch, watched a bit of cloud atlas, did not understand any of it, attempted to take a nap. went to cold rock for ice cream, but i find that cold rock never satisfies.
dinner at straits with huey wen, kelsey, and mei! :) it's nice to go out for dinner with people sometimes. although i think that left to my own devices, i would be much more of a hermit than i already am now.
think i have an ulcer in my throat. :(
11:54 pm
how absurd/
got up to make cloud frosting this morning. it's basically a light meringue frosting that tastes like marshmallow, but not as sweet. forgot to add in the vanilla. i hope they're all gone. :| feel like i've had enough of stressful social situations for a long time, even though i didn't do anything. even my stressful job is less stressful than that.
had peri peri for lunch with j. today the chicken was cooked perfectly! my hope in them has been restored. ;p recently i've been getting overcooked chicken but i still continue to go there. for some reason.
came home and painted my nails and watched masterchef, then napped for nearly 3 hours. ;p was looking at recipes to use leftover egg yolks since i'd used 6 whites for the cloud frosting this morning. came across this
seven yolk pasta dough which i now feel like trying out. together with this
baked tomato sauce, yum. or this other
tomato sauce, hmm. culinary adventures. cooking is only fun when things are made from scratch (it's more like baking that way ;p).
i think it's sad that whenever i see butterflies i think of dead babies. :| (whenever we had a foetal death in utero or a second trimester miscarriage in birth suite we would put a butterfly on their door.) oh and last night i dreamt that i was working in birth suite haha. subconsciously missing the job already? ;p
apparently the cupcakes were good. i didn't actually try them at all (not even the ugly ones). j was supposed to share his with me, but he ate it all himself. :(
thinking about going to the city tomorrow. i just want to get my b&w film developed, really. and maybe brunch at hardware societe..? but i am just so lazy. days off are for lazing around, right? :\ but i want to see those photos, so i guess i will need to drag myself up there. need to take the train, ugh. oh well i suppose it's really easier that way.
it's the end of july already! D: where has the year gone?
12:07 am
20130729
day 8 of 8!
my last day of o&g was filled with no work, brownies, cake, and hugs and kisses. ;p as a doctor at my level it is not very common to spend 6 months doing the same job. it really makes everyone seem like family. and although i'll still see everyone because i'm doing paeds next, i will still miss them. it won't be the same. sad face.
but for now, i'm glad to have 10 days off. ;p i think the best part of this week will be.... not having to drive back to shep on sunday night/ monday morning! :D how awesome is that? ;p
while wasting time in the birth suite office waiting for 11am, sarah and i discovered that we can do a swap when she's covering for hoa in paeds. 28th for the 21st, perfect. ;p except that i'll still have to work till midnight the night before. i think the fri-sun roster is quite ridiculous.
friday 1400 - 2400
saturday 0800 - 2200
sunday 0800 - 2200
seriously? i work till midnight on fri and start again at 8am on sat? that would be illegal in qld. or they would have to pay me double pay for the first 2 hours. but anyway.
drove back with the daphne in the car. would have been easier putting it in the boot but the water would have splashed everywhere. managed to prevent the cats from eating it but it still looked half dead by the time i got back. :\ went over to j's and he planted it in his garden. i really hope it doesn't die. normally i don't care about plants but this one was a gift so it would be nice if it lived.
baked 34 chocolate cupcakes for the orientation thing in uni tomorrow. will make the cloud frosting tomorrow. really hope it'll be cloud-like. wanted to get something to sprinkle on top but coles only had ugly things. :\ maybe just chopped chocolate, hmm.
was talking to liwei about melb. ;p i always get excited when people ask me about melb. ;p he's coming to visit when i'm in sg/phuket, which is unfortunate. but early summer is a nice time to visit. it's stone fruit season! yum. :D
oh and it was warm today! :D not like super warm but warm enough to go out in a dress without tights! :D warm winter days are like little gems. i can't wait for spring.
11:49 pm
20130728
happy sunday (day 7 of 8!)
this morning before the boss came in, the reg and i had a cup of tea and biscuits with cheese. after ward round and a few jobs, she bought me hot chocolate and we shared a muffin again. and throughout the day she kept offering me chocolate. ;p she is super nice.
and she was studying, so she kept randomly telling me things about what she was reading. quiet weekends are actually really good for studying, just that by the end of the work week i just don't feel like studying at all.
did 3 baby checks, one ultrasound form, one dental referral, one paeds referral (i wonder if they did snip the tongue-tie), one discharge script, and one centrelink medical certificate. and that is all i did. ;p
trying to think of what to bake for the orientation thing. chocolate cupcakes with cloud frosting? maybe? don't know how many to make. i don't really have many containers as well.. especially if i want to frost them. hmm. plus i don't really have that much time...
the reg sent me home at 4pm because there was nothing to do. came home and showered and did a few other things, then went out for our farewell dinner at GV hotel (bohjass and a million other places weren't open for dinner). deb said she initially didn't want to go because she didn't like bohjass, but she came because she really liked me, awww. ;p so there were 4 consultants, 1 reg + husband, 3 kids, 2 residents, and 5 midwives. donna (the ward clerk) didn't go in the end. :(
beryl cut sarah and i a branch each from her daphne bush. it smells really good but i don't know what to do with it! knowing me it will just die. :|
at the end of the meal T gave a speech, saying how although there were good days and bad days, we've done a good job, and they've enjoyed having us. and H said that we're always welcome back. and she gave us a kiss haha. and T gave us handpicked inspirational quote cards from his guru. o.O
last 3 hours 15 mins tomorrow and then i get 10 days off! :) i'm glad we cleared the ward up over the weekend.
10:11 pm
20130727
day 6 of 8. only 2 days to go! :)
on another note, i really am not looking forward to starting paeds. because i really dislike kids. so much so that i wonder if i will even like my own future kids. what if i don't? hmm. today glenda said to me,
"when i saw you cuddle that baby just then, i wondered if you were getting clucky after doing this job for 6 months." ;p neonates are the best.
today is the day i finally get to work under the guidance of a reg again. such a good feeling. though T got overexcited about having a reg as well and we took 2 hours to see 4 patients. can you imagine? 2 hours? 4 patients? T.T thank God it's the weekend and we'd discharged quite a few patients yesterday (ie. there weren't that many jobs to be done).
don't you love how consultants sometimes go and see their own patients post op and write in the notes, and just assume whatever they write will become reality? or sometimes they don't even write in the notes, and expect things to happen. -.-
yesterday the med reg got upset with me in the afternoon because he'd requested repeat bloods the previous day and they had not been done in the morning.
1. if you wanted the bloods done,
you should have done the form yourself.
2. i wasn't even really working on thursday.
3. i ended up taking the bloods myself because he said that if they were not done, he would not come and see the patient. seriously?
he wrote in the notes that bloods weren't done in the morning. i wrote in the notes that bloods weren't done because he hadn't written a form. such passive aggressiveness, ha. but it's really annoying when the patient is admitted for a medical reason but she's under O&G just because she's pregnant. -.-
we have a patient who i feel has been stuffed around with her induction. she could have easily gotten two doses of prostins yesterday and had an ARM this morning and her baby by the end of the day, but T didn't want to give her the first dose of prostin earlier yesterday, then didn't want to give her a second dose in the evening. so she's still not really doing anything. and will probably have an ARM tomorrow. everything is postponed by a day.
the locum reg is super nice. she bought me hot chocolate and we split an orange and poppyseed muffin. then she kept asking me to eat bits of her lunch. she was also going to ask me to go home early but one of our patients came back from day leave contracting.
baked a gooey brown butter cake for monday (my last day in O&G). haven't cut it open yet though. donna said she'll bake brownies for us on monday. :) we're having dinner at bohjass tomorrow, i've already checked out the menu and decided what i want to eat haha. ;p
who do you think would be busier, the medical student or the doctor?
8:51 pm
20130726
TGIF! :) day 5 of 8. only 3 days of O&G to go!
it was actually a really good day. rasmita made my life so much easier by getting anthea to do all the baby checks overnight. and then she did most of the discharge scripts as well. :) she also told switch and janet told ED that there was no O&G reg. and i decided not to carry the reg phone today.
did the ward round with the boss, did some jobs, then went to pre-admission clinic. there was a patient in birth suite to be reviewed, a really simple case which i would normally have done, but because i had to go to clinic i asked T if he would see the patient. he didn't seem very happy but he did it haha. ;p must make the consultants do work sometimes. ;p
the rest of the day was mostly uneventful. went for teaching and was only interrupted twice. had lots of laughs (and cringes) at B's inappropriate jokes, as always. T did my "assessment" after teaching. he obviously thinks i am absolute crap. :|
towards the end of my shift the lady in labour had a prolonged decel so i called T back and he did a scalp lactate. if he didn't want to do it in the left lateral position i might have asked if i could do it, hmm.
did handover and was going to leave, but then T saw me with my coat on and bag slung over my shoulder, and looked at me as if i was being ridiculous. he told me in his usual condescending way, "
please, sit down and do the handover." why would i leave without doing a handover? -.- please.
oh i have to say brian the surgical intern has been really helpful too haha. helping me chart regular meds and attempting to take blood for me.
got an email from bendigo, interview on tuesday 6 august. looks like i'll have to make road trip to bendigo. i figured after that i'll go to ballarat to find tae haha. he finishes at 5pm so we can have dinner. :D
want to make butter, but that requires a stand mixer. kitchenaid? hmm? who has money for that anyway.
i know i shouldn't be, but i am really not looking forward to the new lifegroups. where are all my favourite people. :( :( :(
10:58 pm
God is fighting for me-
it was a rather interesting day, hmm. went to work, the boss took ten thousand years to go through handover and do the ward round, strangely started in the ward rather than birth suite, and then went for a coffee.
i did a few jobs, then was called to birth suite to put in a cannula because no one else could, and the lady had ruptured membranes and was GBS positive, so she needed IV antibiotics and needed to start labouring. went over, had two goes but she had bad veins and i went through them both times. the patient herself was quite understanding of this but her husband got really upset and swore at me and demanded for another doctor to come and have a go.
under normal circumstances i wouldn't have cared, but after everything that's happened in the last few days, plus the ward clerk asking me if i was alright (and giving me a big hug) when i got out, it just made me crack. so in the end the boss (who happened to be the big boss today) came and had a talk with me and sent me out for lunch until teaching at 1pm, because i was presenting a case.
so i went home, had some laksa lamian (comfort food), and went back to work. did my presentation on a lady who had a negative fortal fibronectin but went on to deliver at 24+5/40, then went down to ED to see a lady with an incomplete miscarriage with the boss. he seemed rather doubtful of my ability to do a speculum exam and remove products from the cervical os, but the patient didn't want a man doing it so he didn't have much of a choice. either way the os was open and there were no products sitting in it, and there was no active bleeding. she got misoprostol and went home. we kind of decided for her. :/
went back up to birth suite and was asked to look at a CTG for decels. it was a bit difficult to read because there was a lot of loss of contact so i asked the midwife to put a scalp clip on. she had never done one before but i talked her throghn it and the. the patient was screaming for an epidural so i cannulated her and sent off bloods and then handed over to vishu (the paeds reg), who was asked to cover for me. i felt really bad that he had to come in, and i really felt like i could have stayed and finished it, but since there was someone covering, the midwives and ward clerk convinced me to go home and make the most of it. linda even suggested i call in sick tomorrow haha. felt like staying to do little jobs so it won't be so hectic tomorrow but decided to go home instead.
that's the problem with working too hard... and also it gets to the point where i don't care (about the patients) anymore, which is really bad. and scary. :|
oh and the boss tried to cannulate that other lady and failed as well. i feel like telling her husband off. i know your wife is in pain but that does not make it okay to swear at someone who is just trying their best to help. i hope i don't have to see him again.
went to coles, came home and put chik kut teh stuff in the slow cooker, watched masterchef, showered, and decided to go to bed at 7pm. slept till 12.45am, am here blogging, and will go back to sleep till 7am. long rambly post but i just wanted to get it all down (not that many people read). the ward clerk and midwives (and the boss today) have been so nice to me... despite everything, i feel blessed. :)
i live to fight another day.
1:37 am
20130724
day 3 of 8 (day 3 of 5 without a reg)
i can't believe it's only been 3 days. i feel like i've worked my entire 8 days already. D:
and i really don't care if the bosses don't appreciate the effort i put into my work, i don't even care if you don't thank me for chasing things up for you, but
how dare you say
"frankly you just did the normal amount of work" when i have been running around all day with the phones going off every 5 minutes. in fact, the midwives have been asking me to complain because it's ridiculous to not have a reg.
if there are usually two people doing a job, and now there's only one, how is it possible for me to have done only the normal amount of work? obviously there are many things i cannot do: make any significant clinical decision, suture a 3rd degree tear, do a bedside ultrasound scan. just because you need to do these things (which are normally done by the reg) does not mean that i have not been doing any work. just because you don't trust my clinical assessment of the patient and go and ask the exact same questions i asked and come to the same conclusion as me, does not mean i have not been doing any work. -.- seriously.
i really like my job but the bosses just make me want to die sometimes.
other than that.. some patients can be so annoying. we have one who throws a hissy fit and keeps threatening to self-discharge every few hours. then goes down to ultrasound and becomes hysterical so the sonographer had to call me down. and then when B finally went to see her in the evening she didn't want to hang up on her husband. and another one who demands to be seen NOW. -.-
so disillusioned. the card was a nice pick-me-up at the end of the day though. :)
decided to give j an early (and rather expensive) birthday present. changed my flight back from 18th to 24th nov. i figured it doesn't really matter that much since there's only one family holiday. plus i get to brunch in melbourne in summer. :) that is such a happy thought.
2 days to go. please let them be nice and quiet and let the bosses love me, please.
12:04 am
20130723
day 2 of 8 (day 2 of 5 without a reg)
today was crazy. what do you do when you literally have to be in 4 places at once? T.T at one point donna handed me the phone and i just gave her a helpless look. and she said,
"what are you going to do? cry." (- in a nice way). at another point i thought i might just call in sick tomorrow because i could not come back to this crazy job again.
2 emergency caesars, 1 elective cone biopsy, 1 1.5L haemorrhage from a miscarriage, 1 ?antepartum haemorrhage, 1 grade 3 cystocoele. 1 woman with threatened premature labour on the ward insisting on immediate review, the woman with the miscarriage went to ICU and later wanted to pull all her lines out and self-discharge.
i am aching all over. arms, legs, feet. got to have half my lunch at 5.45pm today. i think between the running around and retracting and not eating, this is a week to lose weight.
can't believe it's only day 2. even when i was going down to medical workforce to submit my job application i was wondering why i was submitting it because medical workforce here is so rubbish. :( managed to get all the right fax numbers and fax my referee report.
need to return my prompt manual tomorrow (it was due today :|). and also need to call the royal melbourne to find out about one of the patients we transferred there. and i also need to read about foetal fibronectin, though i have my suspicions that i won't even get to do the talk on thursday if it's busy.
3 days to go!
happy birthday kevin! ♥
11:11 pm
20130722
day 1 of 8 (the last 8!). day 1 of 5 without a reg.
was really sleepy on the way up but managed to get here in one piece. came home, unloaded the car, and took a 25 min nap before going to work.
sarah said she was worried for me this week. apparently there wasn't a locum reg yesterday and the weekend was super busy. :| medical workforce is getting more and more ridiculous. people please don't come and work in shep.
started the day off feeling really stressed even though there wasn't that much to be done. but as the day went by i sort of just reverted to my just-do-what-i-can philosophy. can't be in two places at once, so something or someone will just have to wait. it was also really good to have H on today because she's nice. she stayed till 8pm.
usually on monday there's one reg on nights, one in theatre, and one in clinic and on call. today there's just rasmita on nights. prasanna was meant to be off but he came in to help with the theatre list. unfortunately, they didn't want him, and they asked for one of the residents instead. sarah had just been told off by V because of her complaint email so she wasn't keen to go, so i had to.
i think my arms are going to ache tomorrow from all the retracting at weird angles. -.- having to push the cervix in while sitting on a stool with wheels is not easy. was scrubbed for 3 hours, then went back to the ward and got a handover from sarah. did some jobs, saw a patient in ED, gave an opinion on another patient in ED, saw antenatal patients, made follow up phone calls, then was called back to theatre again. prasanna was assisting but he had to leave so i had to go and hold the laparoscopy camera.
super dislike patients who are all, "i'm in so much pain i'm going to die if you don't give me IV drugs. oral drugs don't work." and then you palpate their abdomen and they appear to be in heaps of pain. and you ask them if it hurts more when you release, and they seem uncertain as to whether the right answer is yes or no. and then you use the doppler to auscultate the foetal heartbeat over the same part of their abdomen and obviously they are not in any pain whatsoever. -.- these sort of patients... please just stay at home and don't waste my time. as if i don't have enough things to do. -.-
it actually wasn't a busy day by any measure - under normal circumstances it would have been a pretty good day. just that because there was no reg, i was going between theatre, ED, and birth suite. thankfully the ward didn't need me today. didn't have time to eat or drink anything until 6.30pm, when i had a cup of water. had two biscuits on the way back to the theatre change room at 8.10pm. was so glad to see rasmita walk in the door at 7.30! 4 reg-less days to go.
donna is organising a farewell dinner for sarah and i, awww. ;p so sweet! the poster says:
"OH NOOOO................
WE'RE LOSING OUR RESIDENTS!" ;p
tomorrow is the deadline for job applications and i tried faxing rasmita's referee report after work today but it seems like most of the numbers on the form are wrong. -.- seriously, people? i suppose that means i need to call switch at every hospital to ask for the right fax numbers tomorrow. ugh. at this rate i will really end up back at gvh next year.
11:13 pm
20130721
sunday!
through the storm i will hold on Lord
and by faith i will walk on Lord
then i'll see beyond my calvary, one day
and i will be complete in You
used songscreen again, because alfons gave me a choice. ;p i know at some point i will need to learn to use propresenter, but for now i'm just happy being able to set up the computer and screens by myself. ;p
maccas breakfast yay! maccas twice in two hours is not good though. too fat. people finished my kouign amann and even said it was nice. am amazed. ;p and liliane also made deviled eggs haha.
went to fitzroy to support daniel after church. their band is so big! wanted to get a slice of lemon tart since babka was just across the street but the guy in front of us bought the last of it (which was like half a tart, for $26). went to the rose street artists' market after, loved the pins but i am meant to be saving money. :(
am exhausted, and the work week hasn't even begun. :| different kind of tired, though, i guess. thank you for the fried rice and drumstick! :) and the breakfast and the cider. hmm.
there is always that split second when you make a conscious decision to break a promise.
need to leave home by 4.30am tomorrow so i have to sleep now. bring on the reg-less week!
10:56 pm
with authority.
maccas breakfast plans were cancelled so i slept till nearly 9. was still tired though.
went to uni for akmal's baptism! the testimony part, anyway. the actual baptism was at mordialloc beach, and it was freezing. i cannot believe they actually went into the water. i was only standing in the rain and thought i was going to die of hypothermia.
had post-baptism lunch at malaysia garden. cancelled my afternoon tea with shalini because the weather was crap and i just wanted to hide indoors. joined the study group and was actually surprised by how much i remember. ;p although i remembered some things wrongly, but i thought i wouldn't be able to get any questions right haha.
ate beef today. what i want to eat, though, is crab noodles.
went for set up and then had supper at maccas. i really keep eating all day. :( as if i'm not fat enough. came home and made deviled eggs. my go to dish when i don't know what to cook. think i'll also just bring the kouign amann and see if people eat it.
cannot stand melbourne's weather at the moment, i feel like i need to fly somewhere warm. hk is not happening so it looks like i'm only going to phuket at the end of the year, which is very sad. :(
am completely unprepared for reg-less week. though today i was reminded that it's only 5 days - there's a locum reg on the weekend and another locum reg on the following week.
God please give me the strength.
1:18 am
20130720
i am so tired. D: too old to stay awake for 22.5 hours.
woke up at 4+ and started driving just before 5am. got home (shep home) at 7+, looked for my textbooks which weren't there, took a 20 minute nap, went to the hospital.
found my medicare card in the mail! :D:D this deserves its own little paragraph haha. don't know why i'm so excited about having medicare haha.
prompt was surprisingly good. the whole thing ran like a well-oiled machine, except for the fact that all the birth rooms were full in the morning (i don't envy sarah) and there was a chance we wouldn't get to do the scenarios... linda kept saying it was "out of control" but apparently it cleared up so we could use 2 of the rooms. and by the time we finished there were only 2 patients in birth suite too.
in the morning we had lectures on teamwork, PPH, pre-eclampsia (and eclampsia), and cord prolapse. then we had stations where we went through: reflexes, neonatal resus, MgSO4, and CTGs. then it was lunch and scenarios. there were 2 teams and 3 scenarios = a total of 6 runs. T and i both had to do all 6 because we were the only obstetric doctors. -.- tiring. but after the first run i realised that not much was expected of me at all because between the time i go in and they call a respond pink and T came into the room was at most 30 secs. ;p so i just busied myself pretending to insert IV cannulae and pretending to send bloods off and pretending to insert indwelling catheters.
the first station was a complete mess but we improved a lot towards the end. ;p of course it helps when you already know the emergency before you go into the room. ;p on the whole it was good running through the scenarios and going over the management steps but i thought the scenarios were really quite unrealistic. for example, if the woman had a loss of 350ml postpartum you would not be calling a respond pink. and i would have had time to order the IM syntocinon, IM syntometrine, IV syntocinon, catheter (or just in and out catheter) and misoprostol before the boss and anaesthetist even came into the picture.
drove back to clayton after, was quite surprised that it took me less than 3 hours given the rain, traffic, and accidents along the way. got to uni before lg dinner was over. :) j came out to get me with an umbrella, aww. :) went to dessert story after lg and had noodles, ha.
why so grumpy.
1:44 am
20130718
woke up at about 9 and baked a banana cake for lg. :) had scrambled eggs for breakfast and then cooked lunch.
today's weather really reminded me of summer in queensland, when it's warm and the mugginess builds up and culminates in a summer storm. except of course, being melbourne, everything just happened really quickly haha. but seriously, being able to go outside in a tshirt in the middle of winter was a lovely gift, especially after going to work on 2-3 degree mornings!
studied in hargrave in the afternoon while the storm raged outside. obstetric haemorrhage, shoulder dystocia, cord prolapse. went to glen for dinner at petaling street. i always seem to be eating hainanese chicken rice here rather than in sg haha.
masterchef! so fast top 10 already. who would i like to come back next week? probably jules. tried steph's lemon tart, which was not bad, except that the pastry was a bit thick and a bit undercooked because she didn't blind bake it. didn't think the curd was too sour though. :)
realised how much i dislike having long nails. it makes it so difficult to do anything.
also dislike how they make executive decisions like that. partly because i'm very resistant to change. but also because we never get a say in anything that happens. they just decide and it becomes reality.
going to sleep now because i have to get up early to drive up to shep tomorrow morning for prompt. am not looking forward to it but i know it'll be a good learning experience. except that i only have one more week of o&g so it's slightly pointless. but still looks good on the CV.
will also be late for lg but oh well. if prompt finishes at 4.30 i might get back by 7.30? though more realistically it'll be 8 or 8+ with the friday post work traffic. will be glad when tomorrow's over. goodnight!
10:15 pm
20130717
today i:
- finished my job applications (except for shep)
- heard back from all my referees despite being so last minute
- did the laundry
- made overly-buttery kouign amann
- fried rice and cooked chicken
- went for a lecture
- studied pre-eclampsia
- had mango snow ice with popping pearls at dessert story
- got lemon tarts from steph! :)
don't know why i'm so tired.
11:30 pm
20130716
it's a beautiful day and i can't stop myself from smiling
(no not really, it's cold and cloudy)
apparently Ted's Cameras does not develop black and white film. :( went all the way to chaddy for nothing! sigh. managed to resist the urge to shop even though i have nothing to wear.
went to spotlight in carnegie to get random things like polymer clay and a glue gun. ;p they didn't have black! sigh. need to go to the one in springvale and check. since i was in carnegie i went to get a bagel from huff bagelry for lunch. :) i think their fillings are only so-so but their bagels are pretty amazing.
was supposed to get my wwc check application done but the queue in uni was too long and there was only one guy working and it wouldn't have been done in half an hour (which is how long i could park my car across the road), so i got boost and peri peri chicken instead. ;p
made a half batch of corn muffins. didn't even try them so i have no clue how they taste. haven't had kenny roger's corn muffins in forever too, but apparently they're good. so i'm happy. :) except that i am still waiting for my chilli crab.
got my things scanned, yay. heard back from one referee. i am so behind on this job application thing. i think it'll be a miracle if i get a job at all next year. hmm.
couldn't fall asleep till 3+am this morning and got up at 8ish so i'm tired. need to be more productive tomorrow.
came across this quote on min's blog.
“INSTEAD OF WITHHOLDING LOVE TO CHANGE SOMEBODY, I POURED IT ON, LAVISHLY. I HOPED THAT LOVE WOULD WORK LIKE A MAGNET, PULLING PEOPLE FROM THE MIRE AND TOWARD HEALING. I KNEW THIS WAS THE WAY GOD LOVED ME.
GOD HAD NEVER WITHHELD LOVE TO TEACH ME A LESSON.” - Donald Miller
11:39 pm
day 11 of 11! :D finally.
your heavy heart is taking its toll
you've lost all the magic inside of your soul
so sell me a lie before you hit the road
i don't understand why the last couple of weeks when sarah's been on she gets a minion (okay, another resident) to help her. the previous week she had neha and this week she has kun lin. i had no one! but it doesn't really matter, because it wasn't busy and i prefer working by myself anyway. ;p
did a baby check and a discharge script, and called a patient for follow up. went to see my favourite patient and her baby jonathan. he's a good sized baby too. plus her husband remembered that i only work 3 hours today and that it's day 11 for me haha, they are too sweet. just hung around after that talking to people until 11. found out that i get paid for prompt! :D yay. more money is always good. i keep being reminded that i'm supposed to be saving money. :|
went to vicroads to sort the yellow submarine's registration out. they'd suspended my rego because i'd submitted a copy of the roadworthy cert instead of the original. and i've been driving around illegally since thurs/fri so i've been parking inside the hospital for fear of being caught, ha. anyway it's all sorted, yay. barely had to wait either.
drove back and got home in 2 hours 40 mins, which i thought wasn't bad for a weekday afternoon. i have no more petrol though, and it's so expensive. :| that's where all my money goes, i reckon.
j went out to dabao dinner for me, yay. :) wanted wurung gudeg but they were closed. forgot that they're closed on mondays. watched masterchef on the big screen and took a nap. ;p
tuesday = job application, wwc check, spotlight shopping, ?peri peri, grocery shopping, laundry, cosy up to referees day.
12:48 am
20130714
day 10 of 11. :D i don't have to carry the on call phone tomorrow! *twirls around*
thinking about hk and delicious kitchen and the australian dairy co and hui lau shan! and egg tarts and siew yoke and wanton mee and ippudo omg. hk in december? maybe? please? if i go i might actually bring a pandan cake back for wendy at the hostel. ;p
the italy trip is probably not happening anymore. strangely i'm not too fussed. i'm more sad about not going to boracay and getting to jump off ariel's point, sigh. measured hope.
this is how much my mother likes him: she invited him along for our family holiday, and she's planning it such that he can go. and also when i said he'd been somewhere before, she stopped considering it as an option. this is how much my mother likes him.
work was pretty good today. did my own thing and did not hang out in the birth suite office at all. i am
so glad to finally be done with working with this reg. i cannot emphasise
how annoying it is when he asks me questions. about patients i have not seen. omg. and also he explains
nothing to the patient.
example: today we had a patient who'd had a miscarriage at 15 weeks, and she was concerned that her bleeding was a bit heavy. all he said was: "from the notes your miscarriage was complete." how is the patient supposed to be able to relate that to her bleeding?! plus he said that twice and the patient obviously did not understand what he said. so i jumped in and explained. he is hopeless.
anyway. i wonder why people disguise sad songs with happy music. it just makes me listen to the song on repeat and it cannot be good to listen to sad lyrics all day.
i struggle a lot with not knowing things.
9:30 pm
20130713
day 9 of 11. nearly there! only 12 hours to go.
it started out really quiet. the boss told me:
fawn can you do me a huge favour? can you make me a cup of tea please? haha.
we did the ward round (3 patients), then i did a baby check and a paeds referral. endured heaps of annoying/ stupid questions asked by the locum reg. i really don't know what to say when he asks me questions about a patient that he saw, when i have never set eyes on her.
and then he asked me if we should start antihypertensives on a patient with pregnancy-induced hypertension. not in a testing way either. he genuinely wanted me to decide. the patient is one of the loveliest people though, seriously. we're inducing her tomorrow but i'm kind of hoping she goes into labour spontaneously overnight. i am just over it and don't want to do any work.
am supposed to be studying for prompt during my free time but working this many days in a row is doing my head in. i cannot for the life of me study about pre-eclampsia or PPH (though we had a real life PPH today), so i read Picture Perfect instead.
oh and we also had a preterm delivery at 32+5/40. came in at about 12, ruptured her membranes at 1, was 8cm dilated at 1.20, had her baby by 2.
want to make polymer clay minions. so cute! ;p haven't worked with polymer clay since j1 probably. ;p wonder how much it costs here.
realised that this is my second last week in o&g. D: i'll really miss working with some of these people. it's really nice to work with the same people for 6 months. it's nice to know everyone's names and for them to know yours. i'll still see everyone because i'm only moving to paeds and will still go to special care and birth suite occasionally but it's different!
nearly there.
9:26 pm
20130712
day 8 of 11. TGIF indeed. 2.5 to go!
ohh ohh
let me down easy
let me down easy
before you go
such a catchy song. even though it's not really a happy song haha. i like it when it's quiet enough to listen to music on the radio in birth suite haha. this song came on while i was writing up my case presentation notes from chartview.
the day started off nice and quiet. so quiet that the boss (H) did some teaching haha. i did a few of my jobs from yesterday which yesterday's boss (B) kept reminding me about. -.- he's really starting to get more and more like T, having to repeat things three times before shutting up.
am really not looking forward to working with the locum reg over the weekend. -.- he is quite dodgy really. and he always doesn't want to do things. when we do the ward round he told me "you know the patient, you talk." and today after seeing a patient he asked me what rate to run the fluids at. when i didn't even set eyes on the patient! can die. i wish ibby was back. ibby's the best.
it was deidre's last day today! there was an afternoon tea for her but i didn't make it down there in time. i did, however, manage to score a cupcake in the morning, baked by one of the student midwives. apple and cinnamon, not my favourite. bec brought another cupcake back to birth suite for me from morning tea. :) :) :) glad to know i'm loved haha. ;p
i will miss deidre. she's very different from the other midwives here in that she does a lot of things. she does VEs, prostins, ARMs, suturing. it saves me a lot of work. so whenever she asks me to do things i just do them haha. even though they're midwife jobs. ;p yesterday she asked me to weigh a baby. and today she asked me to auscultate the foetal heart.
supervised bec doing cannulation today! she's the midwife who practised on me (and failed). she succeeded on the second try, yay! :) except that she didn't label the group + hold tube properly heh.
delivered a baby today. it's been a while. delivered the placenta too. but left the suturing to the reg since he'd been slacking. watched a ventouse delivery. the mum wasn't big but bub was 4695g, crazy. surprisingly there was no shoulder dystocia. she did have a 2nd degree tear though. i will be extremely upset with my future babies if they grow that big.
we sent one of our sick patients to the royal women's yesterday. she had bilateral ovarian cysts and chronic renal failure - her creatinine was 699 and urea was 34 (eGFR 5). the boss (B) wanted to find out what was happening with her so i called the women's to ask. apparently they didn't want to touch her either so she was transferred to the royal melbourne. i wonder what will happen in the end.
i love when these songs pop into my head out of nowhere because i know that is one of the ways God talks to me.
in the chaos, in confusion, i know You're sovereign still
10:19 pm
20130711
day 7 of 11. 4 to go.
i really feel like i have too many things on my plate. too many deadlines, too many jobs i don't know how to do. it's all really quite overwhelming. if i stop to think about it i could just burst into tears i'm sure.
when life is discouraging, it is good to have some love.
10:55 pm
20130710
day 6 of 11. i feel like i've already done the usual 8 days. exhausted.
and when that world slows down, dear
and when those stars burn out, here
oh she'll be there, yes she'll be there
they call her
love, love, love
love, love
deidre asked me what i was baking for her this week (it's her last week before she goes back to nz). i asked her what she wanted. she said chocolate brownies, so i came home and made them after work. i am so nice to deidre.
(i really like the name deidre, but it means melancholy)
one of our inductions had a PPH. 1475ml. i hope she's alright. i really tried everything - syntocinon IM, syntocinon infusion, syntometrine, in and out catheter... :| in the end it was prasanna to the rescue to extract the placenta. he's sick though, so he's calling in sick again tomorrow. i hope the locum reg will locum. :| i don't particularly want to assist with a bilateral ovarian cystectomy +/- bilateral oophorectomy.
tried to discuss a patient with the boss but he didn't want to talk to me. -.- i know the normal chain of communication is resident - reg - consultant, but paeds was asking me to escalate and besides i was the one who had seen the patient anyway. -.- the reg would only have been able to tell him what i told him. -.- plus i really thought he would have gone for nifedipine and steroids. instead he decided to give nifedipine but not steroids. these bosses are so unpredictable it's not funny.
apparently the new reg quit. i wonder why. there must be something wrong with us (by "us" i mean the consultants and the system) to make regs quit. anyway i don't know when he's stopping, but i don't think they've found a locum reg for next week. don't know what they're going to do. maybe the consultants need to put in more hours.
love it when the midwives ask me to do things and i just go "i've already done it!" ;p
5 days (45 hours) to go.
11:41 pm
20130709
day 5 of 11. tomorrow is hump day, thank God. working 111 hours in 11 days. 6 days to go.
it wasn't a busy day but it was exhausting. time passes so slowly when you have nothing to do. prasanna called in sick so i had to assist with the elective caesar and the lap steri. the scrub nurse remembered my name (remembering me as "fern" is as good as remembering my name because even people i work with regularly call me fern sometimes)! was genuinely surprised.
did a pap smear haha. the last time i did one was in 4th year. ;p ages ago! bayo said "it's just like riding a bicycle." haha. watched him remove an implanon, which was cool. i've put in two but never seen one removed.
hervinder sat in the birth suite office doing a new clinical practice guideline all day till she was worried she was going to get a DVT haha. so we walked down to the cafe for hot chocolate. :D
borrowed the prompt manual. attempted to read a bit about preeclampsia but got too sleepy after the hot choc. went down to ED with the locum reg to see a patient with an incomplete miscarriage. there is something about these male o&g regs, they don't like to talk and there are a lot of awkward silences in front of the patient. -.- i really feel that i would have done a more complete job if i had gone to see her myself. he didn't even ask how much she was bleeding. :|
sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's difficult. i should really learn to stop this unhealthy habit of poking the bear though.
+ wwc check
+ job applications
+ tax returns
+ study for prompt
+ call ahpra
+ craft shopping
10:43 pm
20130708
day 4 of 11. 7 to go. :)
saturday
lazy day. saw a patient in ED who had a post appendicectomy (perforated appendix) wound collection. she had a visible swelling under her scar line and the ED reg tried multiple times to convince me that it was part of the baby. -.- anyway she later went into preterm labour (surprise surprise) at 24+6/40 and was transferred to the women's on sunday.
sunday
lazy day #2. had morning tea, lunch, and afternoon tea. i don't think i did any work at all. spent most of the day pinning and facebooking. oh well we did do a blood transfusion. and a couple of baby checks with the med student.
monday
it was quiet for a monday. one APH and TPL at 31+3/40 who stopped contracting. one ?PET whose BP was 110/60 today, though her urine PCR was 206 and she still had protein ++++ in her urine today. sent her home with a bottle for a 24 hour urine protein.
then there was a TPL at 31+4/40 who'd had a previous prem delivery at 32/40. she came in at 12.15pm, i did a speculum exam (wanting to do a foetal fibronectin) at about 1pm and saw baby's hair. put in a cannula on the first try (it's so sad that this makes me happy, just goes to show how terrible my attempts have been lately)!so she had her baby but he had to be transferred to melb cos he was too premature.
ended the work day off with a specially arranged GTT for a lady who was fasting for ramadan (apparently, as we were told by the pathology guy on the phone, ramadan only starts on thursday). we did a "fasting" sugar and then after she had the 75g of glucose, she told us that she had had some rice before coming in. -.- so we had to reschedule for tomorrow morning. i really don't know if she will come in fasted though. some patients cannot be trusted.
went to collect my group certificate today. i've paid $10100+ in tax so far this year. THIS YEAR. FIVE MONTHS (i started work in feb). omg just kill me now. i don't know how to do my tax returns. ugh.
i wonder if i should also apply interstate. :| and if i am already too late. but i guess shep can be my safety net. right? :\ ibby has been giving me 8/8 for my assessments heh.
have decided to get the big shot. need to make a trip to spotlight and lincraft next week. :)
next week i also have to do PROMPT. D: how terrifying. especially having to do it with T. D: D: D: but there is no escape. need to borrow the manual from the library. need to study. sigh.
then there's lunch with shalini on saturday. :) we've been meaning to catch up and bake forever but never got around to it. at least we're doing one of the two now haha.
10:17 pm
20130705
day 1 of 11. 10 to go!
the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases
His mercy never comes to an end
they are new every morning
did not want to go to work this morning but i have to say it really is better starting on a friday compared to monday. plus there was no preadmission clinic today! :p haha.
forgot to bring my steth so i had to use the ward steth. i think i am really quite deaf. today one of the new mums asked what i was feeling for when i examined the baby's head. told her the story about the parents who dropped a remote control on their baby's head and freaked out because they thought they had made a hole in the baby's head. ;p i don't think she thought it was that funny haha.
every time i go back to work i feel like i can't remember how to do the job anymore. today sarah said that one of the residents who was meant to do o&g next term has switched to ortho, and amy asked her if she wanted to do o&g for another 6 months. that might actually be quite nice, except for the bosses. the (current) roster is good, the job isn't too bad. and how nice if i didn't have to actually do any medicine this year? i would totally do it, if not for the bosses.
1 emergency caesar
1 ?PET
1 palpitations (ED making us do their job once again)
1 symptomatic anaemia secondary to a PPH
really feel like i am finally doing better with IV cannulations again. i've had a bad run but today has restored some of my confidence. yay! :)
1221
had a random craving for banana bread but the ripest bananas in coles were still not ripe enough. coincidentally, matt taught his rockstar banana bread recipe on masterclass yesterday (which i watched today). ;p but no i'll still stick with my tried and tested recipe. ;p which is pretty similar to that one anyway.
11:23 pm
20130704
magic;
saturday before the sun is up
i'm out the door and on my way
i catch the two and then the thirty five
and by six fifteen i'm on the train
thirty miles to the final stop
and still i have to walk a few more
by the time i finally reach your garden's gate
i have nineteen steps 'til i'm at your door
291016
such a windy day, both in melb and shep. and the whole way in between. can hear it howling outside and am thankful to be inside.
made porridge for the grumpy guts today. thought it was nice. ;p hahaha. with salted egg, love it. watched masterchef. totem was eliminated, yay. ;p haha.
finally managed to actually take a nap.
had laksa lamian before leaving, which i think may not have been such a good idea. :| drove back to shep in the dark, in the rain and wind. 2.5 hours with traffic, not bad lah.
still feel like having a kouign amann ahhhh.
occasionally i wonder if it's just naivete.
the moth and broth might be coming over for a holiday in oct hmmm. brunch every day! ;p
10:48 pm
20130703
all of my life
in every season
You are still God
i have a reason to sing
i have a reason to worship
the last week has been a blur. i am so tired and completely unprepared to go back to work, for an 11-day stretch no less.
did job applications yesterday. think i did 7 and still have 5 to go. something like that. need to do my wwc check and fill in some annoying forms. watched people paint the ccm banner, it looks good! stayed for dinner and was asked by charlie (rather awkwardly) what i was doing there.
helped derrick make kaya! blended the pandan leaves, which we weren't supposed to do (and i did say i didn't think we were supposed to do that), so there are lots of green bits in it. but it tastes super yum though. need to steal the recipe. even though i'm not a big fan of kaya haha.
went on a road trip today to cape schanck, st andrew's beach, sorrento etc. someone woke up late so we nearly missed the sunrise. my favourite part was still the hot springs. ;p the single scallop i had was really good too. sampled vanilla slices from two shops, but i still prefer le bon's.
have not been eating properly. am going to cook porridge tomorrow but it feels like it's been a long time since i last cooked anything proper (ie. not scrambled eggs or things in the oven or rice or instant noodles). hopefully it turns out alright and does our upset guts some good.
11:58 pm
20130701
at the speed of light.
went to shep to work today. i drove up and he drove down. there's a locum reg for the next 2 weeks and an extra resident for this week. which made 3 residents this morning. completely unnecessary, considering there were only 2 patients to see on the round and only one private induction.
sarah brought me down to health info and i found out that i had a whole stack of discharge summaries to do. -.- since there wasn't anything else to do, i sat there and did all 19 of them.
had lunch at the lemon tree cafe. such huge portions, ate until i was so full. :| went to pick up my f21 stuff from the post office. :)
came back and napped. then went to watch despicable me 2 for the second time. ;p still love it. ;p
am exhausted now though. goodnight!
11:56 pm