20130430
day 2 of 8.
how weird is it when tuesday is busier than monday? the upside: the reg didn't have to be clinic or theatre so he sorted lots of stuff out. yay. the other upside: i get more consults to add to my list. ;p
am tired though. need to stop sleeping at 12+ haha.
one of the midwives brought apples to work today and started handing them out haha. i got mine on the maternity ward but didn't get to go back to birth suite (home base) before going to paeds, so i had to bring mine along. there were also chocolates in birth suite and maternity today! haha. little joys. ;p
was called by the surgical ward because one of our gynae patients failed her TOV. no one wanted to insert a new catheter because of the procedure she had (to be honest i cannot even remember what she had. vag hyst maybe?) anyway. they wanted me to do the catheterisation. so i said okay, even though i don't think i've done a female catheterisation since 4th year of med school haha. but i got it, yay. instant relief for the poor patient, who had more than a litre of urine in her bladder. and the nurse was really helpful as well.
also half sutured a 2nd degree perineal tear. prasanna did the first bit because i just could not find the end of it. :| perineal tears are the worst part of the job, seriously. i am always so happy when the peri is intact, or if there are just grazes.
one of the ED doctors called me at 7pm.
"hi it's fawn."
"hi fawn! are you meant to still be at work after 5?"
;p i know a lot of ED doctors now haha. am spending so much time down there. S is so nice though. it was like 8pm by the time i finished seeing that patient (ie. home time) so i asked her if she could put in an iv and take bloods for me. she said "of course, sure, that's easy!" ;p
so we've gone from having no inductions tomorrow to having three. -.- though i think at least one is an MGP one. another one is macrosomic, i hope we don't end up with a shoulder dystocia on our hands. :| have fun pushing a 4800g baby out.
it feels different.
goodnight!
10:48 pm
20130429
When we grew tired of talking, we sat closed and said nothing, letting the silence envelop us in a way that was comforting but not stifling. In those moments, we forgot about everything that had weighed us both down for so long and we just let ourselves be content.
i love this article on thought catalog. read it
here.
today was a rather strange day. none of the usual monday madness. instead of rushing around between birth suite, the maternity ward, surgical ward, ED, and the day patient unit, i leisurely checked bloods, checked path results, did a couple of phone consults for patients in ED, had lunch etc. ;p
how nice, when ED doctors manage miscarriages for me! ;p except that then i can't count them as my gynae consults haha.
it is slightly annoying that i would feel bad about bitching about x to y. so i can't. but x is really super annoying i cannot take it. such a deterrent.
derrick is in echuca now haha. i am always laughing at him because he is so cute in an innocent sheltered way. hahaha. i told him, eh that's near me! and then i realised: echuca is about an hour's drive away, and i think that is near. -.- that is my perception of distance now haha. makes singapore seem so tiny.
after some random thinking last night, i suddenly thought that that lesion on my leg might be a BCC. D: i don't know what it is but it is definitely not eczema like i initially thought. and it is getting bigger. and it is weeping. AND I THINK IT MIGHT BE A BCC. so... i might have to go and see a GP next week. :| it is rather big now so will they need to do a graft if it is excised? :| zomg. perils of being a doctor.
also think i should re-register Skype in vic. shall call and make an appointment tomorrow. oakleigh south hopefully? driving there will bring back memories of learning to drive haha. ;p
and there are D&Cs on bayo's list on wednesday, which i should try to get to and do. there's nothing in the book (no caesars or inductions) that day so hopefully it'll be quiet! and hopefully i will actually go heh.
occasionally i think i am crazy.
9:13 pm
20130428
lifted up, He defeated the grave
raised to life, our God is able
in His name, we overcome
for the Lord our God is able
ProPresenter debut today. ;p hahaha. okay lah, i have done ohp before, it's just the software i'm not too sure about. less people in the front = can see worship leader's signals = makes my job easier. ;p
went to glen after church, i'm not sure why. but it seemed like the whole world was there.
i don't know why this is happening! i suppose it had to happen sooner or later. but still. :( this will teach me to never forget to take my pills.
forgot to say that i found the thai red curry and green curry in brandon park coles!!! cannot describe how happy i was. ;p i will be back! ;p now at least i am not too lazy to cook my own rice. hahaha. ;p
was super tired after church and took a short nap. really felt like sleeping for longer and driving back later but decided that it would be better to drive earlier and sleep earlier when i got back. was actually very awake for most of the drive, till the last bit when it was dark and all the lights were shining in my eyes.
booked my annual leave tickets because the sale was apparently going to finish in 3 days. 18 nov till 21 dec. i sincerely hope not all of it will be spent in singapore.
oh, and according to the four people who have tried my brown butter ice cream after it sat in the freezer, it is not powdery. how strange. unfortunately i don't have any with me in shep so i will have to wait till i go back the following week to try it again.
back to work. 8 days and counting.
7:25 pm
drove to the city in the morning to meet tae. dropped my film off on the way, but the guy said i can only pick it up on monday, which really means the following monday. :( patience, sigh.
managed to get a 4P lot at the usual place, which on a saturday really means all day. :) walked to mekong and had lunch with tae! yum. :) sat and talked for a while longer, then walked back to the car and drove to Dench Bakers in fitzroy north. had coffee/ hot chocolate and split a chocolate eclair. it's a nice place, can go back again. ;p
sam taught me how to set up and do the pro-presenter stuff. it's been 2.5 years since i last did this and i haven't learnt the software properly and it's a lot more complicated than the old software! :| thankfully he's going to make alfons sit with me so he can help me if i panic and die haha. yay.
dabaoed macs for dinner.
i don't understand what is wrong with some people. i just cannot. i cannot even. seriously, what is up with that.
12:21 am
20130427
would you like to....
okay nevermind. :|
drove to shep in the morning for teaching. the drive there took about 2 hrs 40 mins. teaching started 20 mins past 12 and was cut short because the reg had to go and check on a woman who was 5cm dilated who had urges to push.
drove back from shep. the drive back took about 3 hrs 20 mins because of the traffic, mainly on rosanna road. after that bit it wasn't too bad on bourke road and the monash.
baked my galette and then went to lg. God is good. for some reason i find that i have been a lot more conscious of this fact this year.
i know that You are for me
i know that You are for me
i know that You will never
forsake me in my weakness
i know that You have come down
even if to write upon my heart
to remind me who You are
celebrated graham's birthday again. the cake is more than 3/4 gone, i am amazed. it tastes not bad but with all the buttercreams and icing it is super sweet. and to think of how much sugar went into that thing... *shudders*
going to the city tomorrow. i feel like i haven't gone to the city for.. ever. i hope i can find parking at the usual place. please let there be 4P lots!
12:00 am
20130426
i am pressed but not crushed
persecuted, not abandoned
struck down, but not destroyed
i am blessed beyond the curse
for His promise will endure
and His joy's gonna be my strength
went to daylesford today! :D such a happy place haha. we drove Skype. :) had brunch at breakfast and beer, cooked by a malaysian haha. abalone drowned her bread in tomato relish and we had to ask for another bottle.
had lavender ice cream, scones, and lemonade at lavendula. :) next time we have to try proper food haha. looked and smelt so good! and i'm sure there'll be a next time.. i've been to lavendula four times already and i would still go back again. ;p
drove back and baked. am super tired now. and not too pleased with how it looks, but hopefully it tastes better than my last attempt. we shall see tomorrow. :| also prepped my savoury galette but i'm not sure how that will work out because i don't think the filling will stick to the base haha. erm. eat it with a fork.
have to drive back to shep again tomorrowww. stupid teaching. though it's hervinder's talk on iugr and sga/ lga and i think it will be a good one.
feel like having pho. need to sleeep and i'm so tired but i don't feel like sleeping haha.
i wonder how, i wonder why....
12:00 am
20130424
i feel so tired haha. only 4 more days off!
went for brunch at dean man espresso with the weekday brunch buddy today. didn't think the food or chocolate was great... not really a place i will visit again. or recommend to people.
went to ikea and house after. ended up buying a lot of stuff that i didn't really intend to, ha. then i went to glen and got a food processor. and a cake stand. like.. a cake stand without the stand part. the lady who wrapped it up was so scared that it would break, she put the two parts in two separate bags and told me, "it's in your hands!" ..okay. got groceries (ie. cake and ice cream ingredients) and pumped petrol and went home.
made ice cream! okay not really. made brown butter custard. which is chilling in the fridge at the moment. i'll put it in the ice cream maker tomorrow when i get the time. hope it turns out alright.
did laundry, made the car a bit more presentable, started cleaning my room, washed all the new cake pans and stand and food processor parts so they're ready to be used tomorrow. sat at my table and tried to make a cake topper but had zero inspiration so i gave up. :|
managed to arrive late for dinner and avoid a certain situation. korean bbq and complicated orders and receipts (which no one could read, given it was in korean). then we went to the maccas at chaddy for 30cent soft serves haha. dumb ways to die.
impromptu trip to lavendula with abalone and mang tomorrow. ;p yay breakfast and beer and lavender ice cream oh my. :D :D :D so worth the drive. hopefully can finish my film. ;p
11:39 pm
20130423
friend, it's getting late, we should be going
we've sat here beneath these flickering neons for hours
it makes you feel like you've been away for a long time, when road works have progressed enough to let you use the new flyover since the last time you drove back to melb. even though it was only 11 days ago haha.
had bacon and eggs and toast for breakfast. ;p then i swept. and packed.
went to the hospital (i wanted to say school) for junior doctor teaching. the medical education lady exclaimed, "how are you fawn? i think i haven't seen you since the beginning of the year!" -.- well o&g is a really busy rotation!
sat in the library going through my patient lists again, looking for caesars. cannot for the life of me remember who that private patient was. oh well. got hungry and went to the cafe hoping to get a potato cake (there were none left) but instead was waved over by T (one of my consultants, the most unreasonable one, in fact), who was having a coffee.
so i sat there talking to him (he was doing most of the talking) for 15 mins. very philosophical. "while i'm drinking the coffee, i'm meditating and relaxing." towards the end, when i was going to meet V and he was going back to his office, he said to me, "you have a lovely personality and you're quiet. keep being yourself, it's a very positive thing." (he's yugoslavian, his english is sometimes a bit strange).
it only occurred to me later how nice it was to be told to be myself. i have been told my whole life that i am too quiet and too reserved. people have been trying to make me be someone else my entire life. (not a hyperbole - my mother has admitted to making me participate in games at birthday parties as a kid). all through last year my consultants have been telling me i am too quiet and it is not good. granted, i am more assertive now than i used to be, but still. how nice, to be told to be myself. from an unexpected person as well.
went for the meeting with V (the big boss). she said my compiled patient lists were "genius." ;p haha. apparently that counts for "quality assurance," though i'm slightly worried because i'm not doing an audit or anything. :|
went home and packed up and loaded the car and drove. was starving by that time so i got maccas to eat on the way. took me 2 hrs 45 mins, which wasn't too bad really, considering the traffic towards the end.
yay for my weekday brunch buddy. :) (because weekday brunches are so much more enjoyable than weekend ones). we're going to dead man espresso tomorrow. she's driving! Skype! ;p then i'm going to make brown butter ice cream. i'm not really sure how that tastes, but "brown butter" sounds lovely. ;p
have also decided that it's time to invest in a proper food processor. i need it for the cake. ;p and also i think it's a good investment. rather than the lousy mini versions i've been making do with.
11:15 pm
20130422
day 10 of 10! :D i am actually really proud of myself for working 101.5 hours and doing 2 presentations this week. ;p
don't you just hate it when the consultant questions you about your reg's decision? i did specifically ask him, "do you want to come and do a bedside scan?" and he said no, send her home. residents don't make clinical decisions. don't interrogate me! -.-
there wasn't much to do after calling the blood bank and doing the one baby check, so i sat in front of the computer and compiled my patient lists. i have not enough consults. :( or deliveries. or anything, for that matter. :| and i can't remember whose caesars i assisted with.
also sent my CV to the rest of the GP RTPs. i'm only really considering eastern australia. i'm still not quite sure who accepts 457 visa holders... looks like it's going to be quite difficult, some of them just don't, and others who do have conditions that need to be fulfilled. might have to wait till i get my PR eh. would i mind being a resident for another year... at this stage, probably not. it's not that bad.
dabaoed lunch and had it at home. then curled up on the couch with the cats until it was time to go out. went to the police station to get my fingerprints done. then i went to the post office to send them to sg. then i came back home.
only day 1 and i'm bored already. ;p so i have decided to go back to melb hahaha. either tomorrow afternoon or weds morning. if i go back on weds morning i avoid the traffic though. and it doesn't make that much of a difference i guess.
i finally get to bake a cake again!!! :D yay. eggcites.
5:10 pm
20130421
day 9 of 10. :) only 3 hours to go!
was a rather slack day again. spent most of it reading and shopping. :| bought three books (two by david levithan and one by jodi picoult) and a pair of shoes. am still thinking about the watch.
also browsed through 188 pages of the frankie mag website. yes, that's how much free time i had. ibby went off for lunch at about 12 and i called him at 3+ about a patient in ED and he came back (from home). he likes to take long lunch breaks on the weekend. doesn't really bother me as long as there isn't anything to do.
supervised the med student do a speculum exam. whoever thought i'd be supervising anyone doing anything? haha. also attempted a pipelle but the cervix was stenosed. oh well. i know how it's done now. the ED doctor was so cute, he wanted to come and learn too haha.
let the cats out and tried to get them back after it got dark outside. managed to get becks but bailey was actively running away from me. -.- so i went to shower. after i was done i opened the back door and called him and he appeared. they're wandering further from the house now, which i'm not worried about.. it's just inconvenient sometimes when they don't want to come back when it gets dark.
found a recipe for a banana nutella cream cheese cake. it looks amazing! but there doesn't seem to be any occasion for cake as pretty as that haha.
okay i have to start compiling my patient lists to fill my logbook now.
8:20 pm
20130420
day 8 of 10. :) :) nearly there!
was quite quiet the first half of the day. removed a huge amount of clot and POC from a patient, score! and actually spent some time reading, which was nice. then in the afternoon people started coming in for BP checks and CTGs and there were a few in ED to see as well. it wasn't too bad though really.
pretty sure i forgot to log off fb on the work computer but everyone's too nice to do anything haha.
found another amazing recipe and am itching to try it out. but it's a cheesecake and i don't have my electric mixer here, so. might make it for church next week. :)
am contemplating holidaying in vanuatu. ;p
am also supposed to compile my list of consults/ caesars etc. but i am too lazy. shall do it tomorrow. i hope. or maybe monday. ;p
wonder if it's possible to get my PR before i actually submit my GP application. hmm.
was carrying a baby and writing my baby check notes simultaneously when my reg walked past. he laughed at me and said, "fawn i should take a photo of you!" i suppose it must look comical. but some of them just start crying once you put them down! the ones who know how to get their way even though they're only 2 days old.
unfailing love
stronger than mountains
deeper than oceans
reaches to me
7:28 pm
20130418
day 6 of 10, i am over it. :| it must have been quite obvious on my face, because one of the midwives said to me, "you look like you've lost your spark today!" :( and when i told her i was going to go now, she thought i meant i was going to go home. when i meant i was going to go do the baby check.
didn't get to deliver a baby but i got to deliver a placenta. better than nothing, ha. left a patient in ED for like half the day and felt so bad. though half of it wasn't my fault, she had to wait several hours for an ultrasound anyway.
was talking to kate, one of my favourite midwifery students. "what, 12 hour shifts, what?! why would you want to be a doctor?!"
didn't manage to get out of doing the pre-eclampsia talk, and now i'm even more confused about what the boss wants. -.- should have just said no last week! sigh. so i have to do it now. but it will be brief because i don't really understand it anyway.
there was a lady today who was sent in by her private obstetrician with hyperreflexia ++. most brisk reflexes i have ever seen. it's even difficult to tell how many beats of clonus she has because her whole leg flies when you try to test it. apparently one of the other private obstetricians got kicked in the face when he tested her reflexes last time haha. but she's 36+5/40, she can have her baby.
i hope to go to bed by 11.
(failed, obviously)
finished my presentation, largely based on notes from rasmita, plus clinical guidelines from rwh and gvh. then i started shopping online. -.-
also forgot to write about how terrible it was to find out that someone had died of metastatic melanoma. someone our age! someone we knew! what is happening with the world. :(
11:27 pm
20130417
today we had a neonatal death. she was 20+5 weeks and we don't know why she went into labour. i wasn't directly involved (it happened overnight), but i saw her the first time she came in with abdo pain (she wasn't in labour). sarah saw her the second time, cervix was still closed. the foetus weighed 365g.
was a busy day = 5 busy days in a row = i am too zonked to teach myself about pre-eclampsia. so i'm going to try to get out of giving the talk on friday. hopefully the boss will be happy to do his own talk about plumbers and stuff.
june looks like it's going to be a busy month. going back to sg, charm is visiting melb (!!), the GP selection exams, chosen gen camp. i feel tired just thinking about it.
question: do i still need to talk to my first preference RTP about the 457 visa thing if i'm in the middle of my PR application? :| otherwise i can submit my AGPT application already.
going to get my fingerprints done on monday and then i can send it to sg and when i get the coc i can submit my PR application too! i hope it all happens within 28 days. :| better send it by express mail heh.
think i will only go back to melb on friday after teaching next week. :| have to meet vasu on tues afternoon and there's teaching as usual on friday afternoon. this teaching thing is really quite annoying. :|
house inspection in may grr. need to clean house again haha.
i remember what you wore on that first day
you came into my life and i thought hey
you know, this could be something
'cause everything you do and words you say
you know that it all takes my breath away
and now i'm left with nothing
10:18 pm
20130416
day 4 of 10. tomorrow is hump day! :D though i have to say today i feel less tired than yesterday haha.
today i:
- missed watching an ECV :(
- gave a presentation to fellow residents and interns
- could not hear a murmur in a 2 hour old baby
- finally got to do good VEs on a lady with a dense epidural
- was right there at her forceps delivery (after a failed kiwi cup delivery) without wearing an apron and without getting any blood on my white top
- delivered her placenta
- watched a third degree tear repair and only left the hospital just before 9pm
- sent my reg home (for the second time ;p)
our meeting with the CMO (chief medical officer), who is also the head of O&G, was postponed to next week. yay! because i haven't filled in my logbook, in fact, i even forgot to bring it, and then almost forgot to go to the meeting heh. too busy on the wards. so anyway i have another week to get myself sorted.
rasmita (the reg) didn't manage to make it to the teaching session today (in fact, there was no one but us junior doctors), but she was so nice she went through my slides yesterday! :) best reg ever. and she has also offered to be one of my referees for my AGPT application! :D i'm sure she will give me a good reference. unlike my current consultants heh. so now i have to work out which boss to bump haha. probably the ED one. ;p
anyway, that woman in labour was really quite amazing. remembering all our names (there were at least 3 midwives and 4 doctors at one point) and making jokes until the baby's head reached the peri. the wonders of a good epidural eh. except that then you can't push.
just counted. i am working 100.5 hours in 10 days. can't decide if that sounds like a lot or not.
still have to do that pre-eclampsia talk....
9:37 pm
20130415
it's only day 3 of 10 and i am already so exhausted that i don't know what i'm running on anymore. :( it's been a busy 3 days.
thankfully i'm on with rasmita. she claims that i am "effortless" because i do everything myself, although i don't know where she gets that from because i ask her about everything. :| she's going to come and sit in on my presentation tomorrow. :| i really hope people don't ask me questions. i'm going to look so stupid. :|
will be glad when tomorrow's over. then i have to do another presentation for friday, sigh. wish ibby had been there last fri to advocate for bruno to do his own talk! :\
10:42 pm
20130414
pathological procrastinator.
i am so stressed!!!!!!! D:D:D:
was a busy day again today. -.- what was i thinking. and it can only get worse... monday madness again tomorrow. haven't had a chance to look in the book to see if there are many inductions and caesars this week. hopefully not. :| at least i've done most of the baby checks for the ones going home tomorrow.
let the cats out and went out to look for them after it got dark. couldn't find them initially, but after a while bailey was chased back by another fluffy black cat, and becks came back soon after.
it's slightly scary to associate prada bags with thoughts like "it's not that ex what." erm. june is coming, i need to decide.
GP applications open tomorrow! and i need to make an appointment to do my fingerprints. and i need to call nambour to get a list of my rotations. and proof of employment. and i need to do the stupid presentations. ahh! D:
7:29 pm
20130413
today was everyone have a PV bleed and go to ED even if you've been bleeding for 2-3 months day. :( i am making friends with so many of the ED doctors because i spend so much time down there.
such a busy saturday! D: i hope tomorrow will be more relaxed. :| was doing stuff non-stop until 2.30pm, when i took a break for lunch (while waiting for a patient's bloods to get back). then after that, non-stop again till 5pm. :| on a saturday!
it is really quite difficult when you go to work feeling like you don't want to work haha. though after a while you get the hang of it again. speculum exam, pelvic ultrasound, repeat.
have not touched my presentation since wednesday. :| feel like i should just do one on pre-eclampsia and then present the same one twice. since my menorrhagia one is currently quite rubbish. sigh.
i would like to do something to make it better, but i think anything i do will just make it worse. so i'm trying to not do anything. :\
i love how leaves fall here in autumn. i know it's a strange thing to say. but i really love it. up on the sunny coast leaves don't fall! trees stay green all year round.
the cats don't like the 100% australian fish i bought them. instead they attacked my packet of hei bi, sigh.
off to bed before 9. hopefully tomorrow will be a quieter day!
8:48 pm
"I have loved you with an everlasting love..."
yay i'm home! exhausted, but happy. ;p (and will always find time and energy to blog)
picked abalone up and went to penny farthing for breakfast. really like the place! food was not bad too. can go again. except that it's a bit far away.
drove up to shep. it's a good thing i had a buffer because we only arrived at like 11.50am haha. unloaded the car and said hi to the cats and bye to jeanwei, then rushed off to the hospital for teaching.
journal club on cerclage and prolongation of pregnancy (or something like that). then CTG teaching, where i am forever being put on the spot as the most junior person around. -.- and then one of the regs volunteered me to do the pre-eclampsia presentation for teaching next week. -.- i hope i have time to do it! i'll be working every day! :\
checked me email and realised that i have been allocated my case officer for my PR application! :D means i can get stuff moving again. :) yay! except that it's the weekend.
when i got home i wanted to reply that email, but then i realised that i had left my laptop in rusden. -.- super zzz. because my tuesday presentation is in there, and i'll be here laptop-less for 11 days if i didn't go back, i decided to go back to clayton.
took 3 hours+ because of the going home traffic. upside: got to go to lg. ;p two lgs in a week! haha.
throughout the week God has been reminding me of how much He loves me. just thinking back over the few months that have passed this year, there are so many ways He has protected and provided for me. :) i feel so blessed!
drove back to shep after lg, left at about 10.30pm and arrived just before 1am. driving long distance at night in the country when you're tired is no fun. and it's a bit slower because i can't see and i don't know exactly where the cameras are haha.
time to sleep. will get up again in 5.5 hours for work! good thing i'm only working 9 hours tomorrow. ;p
1:39 am
20130411
i know it's crazy to believe in silly things
but it's not that easy
how this world keeps spinning around.
(sounds like vertigo eh)
(obviously still obsessed with the same song)
my brownies refuse to set and i am disliking my oven more and more. :| what is up with that. am trying to bake the rest of it for longer but it's already been in there for at least double the prescribed baking time but it is still very moist. gah. i give up.
on the bright side, i managed to salvage most of the macarons. they look as if they are underfilled but really it's just that their undersides are concave and i really can't put that much ganache otherwise you'll go into a diabetic coma or something.
i like this flavour though. :) mango white chocolate. can try it again next time. not sure how strong the mango really is though. but it's definitely better than the last time we tried a mango filling.
went for brunch at two birds one stone with ivy, nat, tim, and ivy's dad haha. had the eggs benedict (of course, what else would i have?) - they served it with pulled ham hock and bearnaise instead of the usual ham and hollandaise. have to say the pulled ham hock was really good.
visited the thursday lg today and was blessed. :) it's nice to go to lg again haha. ;p
okay very tired. need to rest before i start work again haha. though i start with a weekend instead of the usual monday madness. :) goodnight!
11:49 pm
20130410
broken bottles in the hotel lobby
seems to me like i'm just scared
of never feeling it again
i know it's crazy to believe in silly things
but it's not that easy
i remember it now it takes me back
to when it all first started
but i've only got myself to blame for it
and i accept it now
it's time to let it go
go out and start again
but it's not that easy
spent today preparing for the life of a housewife. ;p
did the laundry, washed and vacuumed the car, bought cat food, made macarons. ;p
spent a ridiculous amount of money on a FURminator, which claims to reduce shedding up to 90%. it "enables you to share your home with your cat, without surrendering it to his hair." i hope it works. the good thing was that because the bag of cat food was my 11th, i got it free! :) perks of being a loyal petbarn customer haha.
attempted to make macarons. but my oven does not agree with the whole macaron mat + cookie tray thing. i think i'll have to just use baking paper from now on. though it results in odd shaped and sized macs, at least they have a proper base! :\ am still going to try and salvage most of them. the ganache is too thin, i need to get more white choc to thicken it up heh. tomorrow.
when i went to pinewood to get mangoes, i got rear-ended by a courier van. not a big dent, and the guy seemed nice, and his van was fine. it was just more of a shock to me. but it could have been a lot worse. and i could have been driving the beetle. so. i'm still glad. God is good. :)
charm is coming from 14-23 june!!! i am so excited!!! :D:D:D because i'm not working 18-23 june! :D yay!
i really wish i'd discovered the weekend edition earlier. then again, last year's work schedule wouldn't have permitted much wandering. :\ maybe if i get to go back one day..
shuyu picked me up and we went to brother fox for dinner with sheryl. :) was a rather weird combination of people but it wasn't too bad haha (a bit like the brunch gang). the sticky date pudding was good! though the vanilla ice cream was a bit weird. sheryl and i are going to be in sg at the same time haha. we're supposed to go visit shu in ktph. ;p
11.20pm on a non-work day and i am so tired. :| then again i did wake up twice overnight.
missing my meows!
monday blues start on wednesday when saturday is your monday. :(
11:26 am
20130409
it's not that easy...
evidence of procrastination: double blogging.
:| though i did do a bit of my presentation. still have a long way to go... but i think at the rate i'm going my actual presentation will take a long time. though i will probably be so nervous that i'll talk like a bullet train. even thinking about next tues gives me palpitations. :|
cooking. ;p couldn't decided what to have for dinner so i decided to make a pasta bake. quick and easy. was initially going to make enough for 2 serves but ended up making enough for 3-4 because of my lousy estimation. bowtie pasta with pumpkin, tuna, and cherry tomatoes. and a lot of mozzarella. ;p yum.
whenever i think about pumpkin i think about pineapple. even now.
the supersampler photos all turned out so weird haha. except for the one where b was walking towards me. my favourite is still the one of ian running towards me haha. most of the rest are just not good use of a supersampler. anyway, i'm not going to use it anymore. so if you want it, you can have it. heh.
okay i realise that i cannot keep doing this. last time, promise.
am probably 3/4 done with my presentation. i hope they don't ask me a lot of detailed questions because i will have no clue seriously. :|
tomorrow i have to:
- clean the car
- finish the presentation
- do the laundry
- bake brownies?
11:04 pm
"no matter what your mind says... God is greater!"
drove back from shep this morning in Skype. it doesn't feel so bad after it warms up haha. i think. :| left the cats in shep with only 2 litter trays, i hope there are no major disasters! heh. i don't know why even after all the speeding i only got back after 2.5 hours.
then again, there were people driving at 75km/h in the second lane on the M1. i don't understand the point of driving below the speed limit. and even if you want to do that, really, in the second lane? okay i know, i am super impatient.
went to uni to get peri peri for lunch because i had a craving. ;p met charlie, chyiwei, and emelia, who were giving out free hot cross buns.
felt like i was out in pajamas. haha. my sister would chide me for wearing TAP (tights as pants).
my book arrived!
am supposed to be doing my presentation but instead i am procrastinating. looking through old photos, watching pretty little liars, youtubing, painting my nails (yes, even though i will have to remove the polish on friday)... can go and pick up my supersampler roll in 15 mins. am actually quite excited to see the photos because i reckon that roll of film is at least 2 years old. ;p
want to bake brownies for lg. even though i can't go. but my container is still holding ice cream in the freezer. hmm.
my gut feeling is that this is not going to work out.
i've got high hopes
it takes me back to when we started
high hopes, when you let it go
go out and start again
high hopes, ohhh when it all comes to an end
but this world keeps spinning
2:47 pm
20130408
someone posted on fb: "it rained this year because elaine lim isn't the principal anymore." ;p haha!
after driving a beetle, Skype feels like a go kart. :| i don't really want to drive it back to melb this time..... but it's cheaper and i feel like if i don't, it might not work when abalone comes to pick it up haha. or maybe i should just drive it around a bit tomorrow morning and then drive the taxi back. ;p so much nicer to drive, that one. plus i keep turning on the wipers whenever i want to signal.
the heavily tattooed guy who served me at vicroads said: "nice tattoo! maybe one day you'll catch up!" haha. ;p highly doubt it. but maybe one more. ;p he also asked: "what kind of doctor are you? just a GP?" why is it that everyone thinks that once you're out of med school you are a GP? and why is it
just a GP?
the english muffins are slightly weird. bringing a few back for abalone to try. and the hollandaise was too thin even after i added an extra yolk. :\ and i didn't even bother poaching eggs the proper way. but all in all not a bad first attempt lahhh. i think.
starting to feel stressed again. :\
driving back tomorrow morning, have dinner with shu + wj + sheryl on weds, brunch with ivy on thurs, dinner with boys on thurs, brunch with abalone on fri. and then i'm driving back up to shep and going for teaching. then it's back to work on sat! such a short break this time, sigh.
tae's going to help me bring my gps back, yay! which means i can make him meet me again hahaha. he is always too tired to come down to melb. or maybe we can do our hepburn springs thing, heh.
am secretly (or maybe not so secretly) glad about that. only for this week though!
10:52 pm
like the colours in autumn so bright
just before they lose it all
hehe my mother is going to try and help me get the one fairfield tshirt. :D i hope they aren't sold out. :x
i love alternate mondays! ;p it feels like such a relaxed day haha.
had handover and then because bruno was on call, he decided that we should have some teaching during handover. bayo's topic of choice? poor libido. overarching comment about libido? "orgasm happens between the ears, and not between the knees."
..okay that is all.
did a few discharge scripts, and there was only one baby check to do although we were basically clearing out the whole ward because i'd already done all the rest. ;p and there was one woman who was being induced, but she was an MGP woman.
so yati told me to leave early since there wasn't anything to do. ;p left at 10.05am haha. a grand total of 2 hours 20 mins spent at work today. (y) you can see why i love alternate mondays.
really felt like making eggs ben. but then i was too hungry so i had laksa lamian first. but i've made the english muffin batter, it just needs to rest for 1.5 hours. will go to vicroads to convert my license (let's hope the photo is reasonable) and then come back and make them. the recipe should yield 8-12 muffins, which can be frozen and brought back to melb. ;p
in the meantime, back to cleaning the house..
12:39 pm
20130406
'cause i know your name
and i've got your number
i don't want to save the world
i just want to waste some time with you
trying to adjust to the time difference haha. yes i know it's only one hour. but it's only 6 and the sun has set already! :|
as usual, i got confused by daylight savings...... ended up waking up at 7.45am, which is when i'm meant to leave for work on a sunday. literally leapt out of bed and somehow managed to get to work by 8am. good job fawn.
though i really think it was a waste for them to pay me to work today haha. did ward round - saw 4 patients. then did 4 baby checks scattered over the rest of the day - depending on when the babies were free. i think they were busier than i was today haha. two of the babies were really grumpy and would start crying every time i tried to put them down. so i had to write my notes while carrying them haha. so cute though, i couldn't resist sneakily taking photos. ;p hahaha. getting clucky, are we?
there was one expected review in ED, which my reg went down to see. then there were 2 reviews in birth suite, which my reg also saw. other than that, we were both facebooking, or she was watching shows on her mac haha. a nice relaxed sunday. ;p
going to have a homemade eggs ben brunch with abalone and daniel one of these days. ;p i will make the english muffins, abalone will poach the eggs, and daniel will make the hollandaise. ;p yay!
look, doesn't it look amazing? ;p i will be super happy if i can actually make this. all from scratch.
decided that it will be too difficult to take a train back from shep because i'd have to catch the 7+am train in order to get back in time for teaching at 12 (the next train arrives in shep at 12.07pm). so abalone will go up to shep with me after an early brunch and drive Skype back down. ;p i think i'll drive Skype back to clayton too on tues, i feel like it needs some love. ;p we're going to penny farthing expresso! the photos look good. yay! :)
am trying to make my house reasonably clean so i can actually let her come in haha. but i'm going to leave the cats here on their own so who knows what state it'll be in when i get back. :|
i have an eating disorder. i just keep eating non-stop. even when i'm not hungry and there is no food in front of me, i actively look for food to eat. what is this! i am now heavy enough to donate blood. D: D: D: faints. better go and donate and lose weight.
7:45 pm
wrote the following last night but forgot to publish, as i do.
day 4 of 7. only 21 hours to go. :)
i feel like i haven't baked in ten thousand years. :( so sad! i just want to make pretty macarons and rich caramel-filled brownies and lovely moist citrus cake again, sigh. wonder if i'll have time this week.
i didn't actually save the citrus cake recipe (i don't know why, it was so amazing), but i found another one that looks pretty good too. hmmm.
think the locum reg was unimpressed that i didn't want to scrub in for the emergency caesar at 7pm. but i seriously think that 3 people + the scrub nurse huddled around one uterus makes it way too crowded. plus it was already 7 and i wanted to leave on time. ;p
the rest of the day was uneventful and boring. saw 3 patients in pre-admission clinic, all lovely and could talk forever but the first patient only came at 11+am and there was teaching at 12nn and i only started seeing the last patient just past 12. at 12.15 ibby called to check where i was.. thankfully i didn't get screamed at when i eventually got there at 12.30. :|
procrastination-
i feel like Skype needs some love. may drive it back to melb next week. ;p and if i can be bothered, i may take a train back to shep on friday morning..... that means leaving the cats in shep for 4 days hmm.
and the rest is from today:
day 5 of 7! only 2 to go! :D
was a rather relaxed day. spent quite a lot of it doing nothing, or walking back and forth between birth suite and kids ward. we have one patient in paeds who was admitted under us but is actually meant to be looked after by the pain team because that's her main problem. but because the pain team doesn't have admitting rights, she has to come in under us because she has endometriosis. so kids ward keeps calling us to deal with her problems even though last night my boss spoke to the anaesthetist, who said he would sort it out. :|
and kids ward is like all the way at the other end of the hospital. so i think i've had my exercise for the day. i don't know how i would survive if i were her though. thank God i don't have endometriosis. :|
sorted a couple of ED patients out together with the reg. she makes me feel stupid. :| though really i am, just that the other regs don't ask me quite that many questions heh. or i ask them the questions first, and they tell me the answer without asking me what i think. but it's all good. i think every time i come back to work after my 6 days off i have to learn how to do the job again. it's slightly frustrating.
they changed the o&g teaching timetable so i don't have to do journal club the following week! :D *leaps of joy* that means i only need to prepare one presentation next week. and i think i'll just steal it from last year's resident haha. ;p got most of the info for the case presentation part of it already so i just have to put it together. yay. i feel the stress melt away.
my cats know it's the weekend when i get home at 5+ and let them out as i open the door - instead of using my feet to make sure they don't escape. such a lovely sunny day, too. :)
random craving for mango and sticky riceee. maybe i should make some this week. :3 yum.
but bailey is missing nowww. :| becks is safely inside. oh well, hopefully b comes back on his own soon. and makes enough noise so i hear him and open the door for him. because becks is a skilled escape artist and even if the back screen door is closed he can open it.
oh no it's daylight savings time of year again. it never fails to confuse me. :| yes, even after 7 years. it means i get an extra hour worth of sleep tonight right?
7:30 pm
20130404
day 3 of 7. tomorrow is hump day! :)
was a busy but good day. did 4 baby checks and 2/3 boys peed on me. there is a huge difference between 2.2kg and 4.3kg babies.
the reg did an ARM on the cervical ripening catheter grand multip this morning. she later had a code green and had to be rushed to theatre for an emergency caesar for cord prolapse. they called it while i was in ED and i went up to birth suite and they were already wheeling her out. i wanted to just go to theatre and watch but ended up being asked to assist haha.
had a few patients to see in ED and the boss was trying to do teaching as well.... which is good, but not exactly appropriate when there are so many other things that need to be done. :|
did a foetal fibronectin for the first time. not that it's a big deal haha. just another spec.
it finally quietened down after 6pm and i got to check path results, do vitamin D letters, and read the agpt guide again. so apparently the 10 year moratorium starts when we are first registered. so by the time i actually become a GP... it'll be another 5 years? of restricted medicare benefits. which means... if i don't care about the benefits i can leave? or i can leave and come back and finish the 5 years after?
some of the neighbours are having a party outside. from the sound of things i think they're around the letterbox. playing the guitar and singing and shouting at the top of their lungs. at 10.30pm. on a thursday night. -.- whatever happened to the be quiet after 10pm law? my unit is right at the front so i can hear everything, ugh.
2 caesars tomorrow (one private). plus our primip for induction continuing from today. plus i have pre-admission clinic. and then there's teaching (lunch is provided, yay!). and the reg is a new locum. i hope she's nice. apparently the current regs think they have very good residents haha. like, really? ;p
i have to say xiaxue's baby is really quite cute haha. ;p
10:39 pm
20130403
day 2 of 7.
was a pretty quiet day. checked all the pathology, watched the reg suture a 2nd degree tear, watched the other reg insert a cooks catheter, did a speculum exam and amnisure (which was negative), referred a patient to the hydatiform mole registry, did 2 baby checks, called around for bhcg results...
had vegetarian pasta and crumbed cauliflower for lunch. yesterday i had vegetarian lasagne and wedges. pretending to be vegetarian. but i think at the end of the day i am a lot hungrier haha.
realised that i am doing a 10 day stretch starting next sat. :( my shift swapping (dating back to cny weekend) is finally catching up with me haha. oh well. will have to stop slacking and squeeze my presentation prep into my 5 days off.
will also probably miss lg again because it doesn't really make sense to drive back after friday teaching for lg and then drive back to shep again the same night for work the next day. :| too tiring eh. which means i will have not gone for lg for... 7 weeks. but that also means i won't get to observe someone else do ohp another time before i have to do it myself. D:
sprouting so many pimples. D: evidence that i am stressed.
i wonder what i am getting myself into.
10:12 pm
20130402
day 1 of 7. ;p hehehe. such a slacker, i know. ;p 6 to go!
looks like they've changed the roster such that there's a reg solely on call in birth suite every morning. which is awesome! i feel the burden lifted from my shoulders. ;p though this afternoon during CTG teaching one of the bosses said "i think that residents are supernumerary. their role is to learn, and not to make decisions." ;p yay! = ask the reg everything. ;p
was actually quite a quiet day. 2 referrals from ED, 2 antenates to be seen in birth suite. CTG teaching, where only myself and one of the midwives were being taught. ;p
there was a 34+3 weeker who came in with irregular tightenings which progressed to regular mild contractions. despite it being against the protocol, the boss (this is the most unreasonable one) wanted a foetal fibronectin done, and wanted us to give steroids and nifedipine. after we did all that, he called back and said that actually all that stuff didn't need to be done, but he thought the reg was unsure of the dates. -.- though the reg clearly said 34+3 confidently.
was really quite surprised by what my mother told me today. so unexpected coming from her haha.
can hardly believe it's already april.
now the sun's shining bright and it just won't set
'cause Your love is alive and it lights my step
my heart is amazed every day to the next
Your joy overtakes and i can't forget about it
10:47 pm
20130401
You are good
You are good
You are good
and Your mercy is forever
OC13 is over! so fast eh. it was nice, being back at piar and cyc for the last time. and even though i said ten thousand times that it was so cold, it really wasn't as cold as it usually is this time of year. either that, or it's cos easter is earlier this year.
slowly but surely....
was quite surprised by that. would not have anticipated that in a million years.
went for chai and hanting's wedding on easter saturday. :) awwww. so happy for them! such sweet vows haha. the food was good too, as expected. ;p was slightly weird with jf but it seems like i have had a reasonable amount of experience just pretending to know nothing. ;p left at about 10.10pm and got back to cyc at 11.30pm. in the rain and all. not bad.
ended up calling in sick this morning so i could stay for the rest of OC heh. no judging please.
-.- asian eyes.
drove simon home after OC, and got to have a good talk about things like relationships and weddings haha. unexpected, but good. he says my instincts are right haha.
was really quite stumped by that. am still stumped.
think it may be partly due to my extreme competitiveness.
unfortunately i still don't know what to do about that....
thankful for a sounding board. :)
all Your promises won't let go of me.
9:21 pm