fawn
27
(doctor!)
singapore/ sunny coast
melbourne! ♥
(would love to bake for a cafe/
?bird & brie)
wallflower
☁
my brother says i am
a cumulonimbus cloud :)

also

joy unspeakable that won’t go away
and just enough strength to live for today
so i never have to worry
what tomorrow will bring
‘cause my faith is on a solid rock
i am counting on God
♡
in dreams and in love
there are no impossibilities.
- jános arany
☼
You make all things
work together for my good.

people

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ivy; mangyik; jasmine; ida; valerie;
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jonathan chua; freedy; gary;
iris; sammy; nicky;

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too tired to blog properly, though it's only 10.30pm. so i shall do it in point form.



slate

woke up early to go over to charm's for breakfast made by sam. so much food! :O also met olivia, who said charm and i look alike haha.

went to fremantle with charm, kinny, and zaizai. the roundhouse, pier, fremantle market. also had coffee/ chocolate at wild poppy. then we went to rockingham and caught the ferry to penguin island, which should really be called seagull island. walked around it, then took the ferry back to rockingham. it's possible to walk back on the sandbar in low tide, but we couldn't wait haha. there were people wading back in like waist-high water? siao, so cold!

dropped zaizai off at the rockingham train station, then went to lulu's, but they were closing. so we walked down the road and had fish & chips (and scallops) at some takeaway place. the snapper was so tough. :( the scallops were alright.

went to subiaco after that, to see the market. both markets were rather disappointing, really. and there is like nothing to do in perth. sigh! went back to charm's place to drop kinny off and park the car, then walked to heirisson island to see kangaroos. one let us pet it, aww. :D i was amazed that there was no kangaroo poo lying around haha.

walked back and rested for a while. attempted to decide where to go tomorrow but we still don't really have a plan. applied to change my provisional registration to general registration, only because daniel told me it has to be done before tomorrow if i want to save $168. $680 gone, omg. D: heart pain. :(

went to koko black in claremont to have chocolate with charm's friend and her friends. interesting bunch of people.

going to mrs s for brunch tomorrow.. and we'll decide what to do after haha. requested to sleep in. ;p too tired lah!


and just like that-

slept in a bit today though i woke up at 6.40am. this actually worries me because i usually get up at this time.. except that it's in queensland time, which is two hours ahead! my body clock has already adjusted. :|

took the yellow cat to the city farm cafe for brunch. organic goodness. ;p had their free range eggs on ciabatta with avocado and mushrooms. :) their hot chocolate was so-so.

took the yellow cat to the city, then switched to the red cat. but calvin said they would be late and there wasn't really enough time to do anything proper, so i rode the red cat a full 1.5 rounds haha. walked to king's park from havelock st and went to the botanic gardens. saw ducklings! so cute! so i just sat there and watched them haha.

then calvin and rachel arrived. :) met them and we walked around the botanic gardens. calvin suggested i get a 28mm lens, hmm. super sad that my lens has cancer. :( found the ducklings again! 17 of them, i wonder how a duck can lay that many eggs at once?

calvin is bringing one of my rolls of film back to msia to develop and scan for me. ;p because i am a cheapskate!

went to some korean place for a late lunch, and then bubble tea. ;p then they brought me to UWA! so so pretty! everyone don't go to monash, go to uwa! walked around and tried to sneak into buildings haha. then they dropped me off and i went to check in at the backpackers.

the receptionist convinced me to switch to a smaller room, so i am now sharing it with 2 guys - one from japan, and the other a local. they were both sleeping when i got back though haha. i am convinced that the receptionist saw that i wrote "doctor" as my usual occupation and suddenly became very nice to me after that. zz.

had a bbq dinner at charm's with her housemates, then had dessert, and then played murderer haha.

going to fremantle with charm, kinny, and zaizai tomorrow. we have to get up earlier though, cos sam wants to cook us breakfast haha. zaizai suggested we go to penguin island after that. hopefully it'll be a warm sunny day! :)


sleeping in charm's bed is like sleeping in a blanket fort. ;p so fun HAHA. but tomorrow evening she returns from bunbury to kick me across the street. ;p

so actually i don't think i did very much today. walked for a total of about 8 hours in not very good walking shoes, and nearly died. D: thankfully, because of my unwarranted His Majesty's Theatre dress code worries, i brought my black work flats haha. though i only changed into them after about 7 hours of walking. too vain. ;p

had brunch at The Tuck Shop cafe. already had my eye on the chorizo and pork belly after reading about it on urbanspoon, even though i'm not a big fan of pork belly other than siew yoke. it looked lovely, and altogether tasted pretty good too. the chorizo was the saltiest i'd ever tasted, but coupled with the potato and capsicum (and pork belly), it all sort of balanced itself out. their hot chocolate was rather bland though.

walked around after, and went to the art gallery of wa. flashed my student card and got a discount for MoMa's picasso to warhol exhibit. :D was rather annoyed with my camera (i mean myself) at first, because i hadn't loaded the new roll properly but didn't want to believe it, ha. but i eventually stuck my camera in my longchamp, with one hand, and reloaded it properly. i've done this a couple of times already, i like how longchamps are effective as mini darkrooms. ;p

warhol is my favourite. not a big fan of matisse's paintings, but his sculptures are better. there were quite a few artists i'd never even heard of before - they featured 14.

was unimpressed with the exterior of the state library so i didn't bother going in haha. continued walking around, and found a camera shop, so i went in to develop my film. $18 for developing + prints. i feel like i haven't been taking photos properly forever. :(

the lady said they'd be done in an hour, so i couldn't really go far. ended up going to the western australian museum and looking at exhibits of mammals, birds, butterflies, sea creatures, dinosaurs, and rocks. doesn't sound very interesting, but there were interesting things haha. like a pretty well-preserved tasmanian tiger, and a cast of a skeleton of a 3m tall flightless bird which was hunted to extinction.

went to pick up my film, i think the lady was unhappy with me because apparently they charge 50cents per photo, which would make up $18 for 36, which i paid when i sent the film in. but i somehow managed to squeeze 39 shots out of that roll. ;p

walked around some more, though my feet were aching. decided that i wanted to have ramen for dinner, so i looked it up on urbanspoon. had to cross the train tracks to get back to northbridge again, but then i discovered an amazing treasure trove. it's a shop that sells "health foods," and everything comes in giant gunny sacks - flour, rice, salt, beans, oats, you name it. they sell almond meal too - $10.95/kg, so cheap!

had dinner at arigataya. attempted to satisfy my ramen craving - or should i say, ippudo craving, but it was tonkatsu soup and there was bamboo in it, which tasted a bit weird. and also the egg was rather disappointing. :( i don't know what shiromaru is, sigh. whatsapped charm while having dinner and eavesdropping on some singaporean/ malaysian conversation haha.

walked to his majesty's theatre and collected my Pinocchio ticket. i'd been worrying a bit about my credit card and my student ID (my credit card says Dr Fawn Lim), but they didn't ask to see my student card, or comment on the Dr haha. and also, people were wearing jeans and sports shoes. what?

thought the ballet was not bad, but also thought a lot of it wasn't real ballet haha. more like wooden puppet dancing.. it reminded me of my ballet concert, when i was 5 years old (in pre-primary "grade"). we did the nutcracker, and after our kiddy part was over, my parents wanted to leave, which i thought was ridicously, and i demanded to stay and watch the rest of it haha. of course i still have no idea what the nutcracker was about. those pointe shoes, sigh.

for some reason i had completely forgotten to tell calvin and rachel that i was coming to perth when i saw them on sat. i think i was just not thinking about perth at all - i didn't even start planning properly or book my airport parking thing until i got back from melb. ;p my brain can only concentrate on one trip at a time. ;p haha. anyway, i'm meeting them tomorrow. :) yay! i was trying hard to think of where to go haha.

still haven't decided where to have brunch. sayers sister, or little willy's, or perth city farm, or mrs s, or cabin fever? how to decide?!?! maybe city farm (just because it's a different concept), then i can take the yellow cat.. and then the yellow and red cats to king's park to meet calvin and rachel after that. and then taiwanese bbq at night haha. and fremantle on sat. no idea what else we're going to do.. and there are only so many meals you can eat in a day haha.


blogging on my phone because i'm too lazy to get my laptop out.

hello from perth! :) it's 1.30am here (and sg) = 3.30am in the sunny coast, and i am exhausted! hopefully i will manage to sleep in a bit tomorrow.

was an alright day at work. no new admissions, and we're getting rid of 1 patient tomorrow, and 3 on friday. :) i've done all their discharge summaries and discharge scripts (except the one for the lady who's going home) (rather than rehab/ nursing home) so the reg doesn't have to do them when they actually go.

kirk: it feels like a friday arvo
zoe: it's fawn's friday arvo!
;p i like zoe, the pharmacist. she's a nice friendly person haha.

drove to the airport from work. i miss my cats already! :(

had eagles boys for dinner haha. though i wasn't very hungry after a late thai canteen lunch. but i figured i'd be starving after the flight if i didn't eat.

dreamt about work. again. D: i need to start dreaming about things other than fractured hips! it's getting so tiring working in the day and also in my sleep. :(

the forecast for tomorrow is still rain, but it's meant to be sunny for the rest of my time here. :) i wonder if i'll wake up in time for brunch haha.


planning for perth. :) it's probably going to rain on thurs and fri though. :\ i need a wet weather plan. and wet weather shoes. :( should have brought my boots back from melb, gah. maybe i should go shopping on the first day haha. i've got checked baggage so it shouldn't be a problem. ;p

want to go and watch pinocchio. it's a ballet. ;p and also, the art gallery of wa has MoMa's picasso to warhol exhibition at the moment. and my student ID is still valid. ;p hehe. a pinocchio A reserve seat goes from $86 (adult) to $54 (student). ;p

work is so much easier when the reg is around. but my reg is hardly around also. dunno what she does all day, especially on days when there are no patients to admit. -.- i miss wen, she makes my life so much easier just by sticking to me haha.

dr harrington (the other orthogeri consultant) came back from her hols today, so the took the reg to see the one new patient, while i did the round with dr attoti and saw the rest of our 7 or 8 patients. oh and our GCS 3 patient died on saturday. heh.

hopefully tomorrow will be a quiet day and i can print out my perth maps and things and plan my holiday. ;p

perth reminds me of that time.

too tired to plan/ research anymore. going to watch pll and sleep. ;p


they love to tell you
stay inside the lines
but something's better
on the other side

back from an exhausting weekend in melbourne! who would've thought it would be this tiring? haha. but seriously, i am too old to be staying up till 1am, people.

my flight there was delayed and i only arrived just past 11pm. tae picked me up and drove me home and we talked for a while. ;p (tae's a while is a bit longer than the usual haha).

wedding on saturday! :D:D:D the weather was pretty good. was quite touched by how michael seemed to really appreciate me going back for it haha. of course i wouldn't miss it for the world. there are some people whose weddings are a must to attend. and others.. haha. ;p but no, it really isn't very difficult (or expensive) to fly back from brisbane.

thought the wedding was very different from the others haha. thriller dance! ;p plus daniel and simon, i really think they are amazing haha. was nice seeing people again too.. people who've left. like a big reunion haha.

went back to tae's place after, changed, and hid under the blanket (it was cold). he came back from picking his friends up from the airport, and wanjie came over. then we went to the city to meet mavis for dinner. :) wanted to eat at ramen ya but it was closed. :( how disappointing!! so we went to some viet place on swanston instead (the one near mekong) for soft shell crab noodles! not bad. i didn't really like the noodles, but i liked the crab. ;p

mavis had to leave after, but the rest of us went to ganache for hot chocolate. beginning to like white hot chocolate more and more. then after that.. we wandered around the william x lonsdale junction trying to find the car haha. finally found it after looking at all 4 streets hahaha. cannot make it.

went to church this morning. forgot to tell simon i needed transport, and it was ma fan trying to get it organised. okay, probably not really as ma fan as i made it out to be in my head. felt rather incapacitated not having a car. i'm so dependent on Skype! heh.

macarons and junk food. met elliott! ;p so cute! haha. but he is reaching the 1 month mark, which is where i draw the line at for babies. ;p i only like neonates. haha. attempted to find out the story (ahem) but g kept dodging. in the end d told me bits and pieces instead haha.

everytime i go back to church in melb i feel so old. D: daniel is only 19?!?! zomg so young. D: haha.

developed a craving for proud mary's seafood spaghettini (so good), so i made tae and wanjie bring me haha. but it was too crowded. :( so we had to settle for gluttony instead. the food was alright, but the bread was too greasy. and i wanted seafood spaghettini. :(

tae drove to the airport and i arrived just in time haha. i know i was rather quiet in the car, but it was just because i was so tired i was falling asleep. ;p slept the whole flight - from before takeoff till "please prepare the cabin for landing." :)

drove to dee's place to check on calypso - she still had food and plenty of water. cleared her poop and topped up her food a bit, since i'm not dropping by tomorrow. oh, and gave her a cuddle, of course. ;p she is rather cuddly.

drove home to feed my own meows. it's nice to see that they miss me haha. ;p tara says she can probably catsit for me when i go on annual leave, which is great. :) saves me money, plus they already know her. :)

i have nothing to eat and am starving. roar.

my mother has given me this offer: stay in rusden place next year by myself for $800/month. on one hand, it's a bit ridiculous paying $800 to stay in a place my parents own. on the other hand, they would earn double if they rented it out to other people. and also the living room is parquet, which is a lot better for the cats. and i would have no problems keeping the cats there. and i love the oven. love. and also my princess bed. ;p hahaha. although of course this all hinges on me getting a southern job. and also my mother has to discuss it with my father - and my father says no to everything.

oh yes i also thought it was a bit strange that....... (i think i will know what i'm talking about when i refer to this in the future so i will just leave it at that).

back to work tomorrow. am dreading it, mainly because i think i left it in a bit of a mess on friday. :\ need to go in early tomorrow to update bloods and stuff. is it unethical to hope that my patient died over the weekend? but she is GCS 3 and i don't think she is coming back. :\ i need to stop obsessing about my work and my patients all the time. it is getting a bit stressful, all these old sickies. :\

okay off to sleep. :) flying again in 3 days. ;p my jetsetting life. ;p


it has been such an upsetting afternoon/ evening! D: rawr.

we had three new nofs today. one was still in noosa awaiting transfer, and one was still in dem. my reg came back to the ward and told me about the two who were in nambour, and i told her i had discovered them. she said "i admire your passion!" haha but otherwise it was a really boring day. zz.

my dress arrived, BUT IT IS TOO LOOSE. plus the workmanship at the top is really not good. went to the clothes altering shop at the plaza but they said no way. went to another place the guy suggested but it was closed. gah.

went back to the plaza, bought my clutch and sugar, and then went for my shellac mani. decided on shellac because it would be quicker and more likely to last. but the colour is so ugh. they need to make their bottles match the actual colour of the polish. sigh.

came home and altered the dress myself. with the help of some hollywood tape, i hope it will be alright. tae has a sewing kit in case any of my lousy stitches snap, heh. hopefully nothing happens during the wedding.

just piped macarons but even before baking, they are a flop. mixed it forever but it refused to get to the right texture. i give up. but i'll bake them just in case. sigh.

and i haven't had dinner. i want to have laksa lamian.. but i still need to make the ganache. i have the frozen very pink shells i made on sunday. just really wanted to pair them with a lighter pink one. :( which i highly doubt will happen now. oh well, fewer macarons to go around.

one day to go! so many things to do. hope there aren't any new nofs overnight. old people, please stay in your beds and don't fall down!


realised that my internet is fast again. ;p yay for a new month!

rushed to the plaza after work to get make up. only got a few things, and am actually quite happy with them haha. :) yeay. also bought this pink nail polish that i really like - one of my fingernails is painted now and i can't be bothered to remove it for work. might just use that.. rather than getting a proper mani. hmm.

also shopped online during work today. because my job is so boring. -.- was browsing dotti with tom and beaver over my shoulder, commenting that girls must have "really hot legs" to wear certain floral jeans haha.

had dinner at ba vigo with the surg girls. :) was nice. spent $30 on blue swimmer crab linguine, but it was pretty good heh. but at the end of it i forgot to get the key from dee so she passed it to eve. need to remember to get it from eve tomorrow. need to catsit for calypso again next week!

tara told us about how a bub went blue on her a few days ago. D: thankfully he perked up on his own, but still! i would freak out, and the baby would die. D: she said i should try and go for a neonatal resus course before i start paeds. there's one on in week 6 of this rotation apparently.

still feeling very dehydrated.

2 days to go! craving shiromaru ramen and pho. hope my dress arrives tomorrow! otherwise i will be very upset with dress lady.

happy birthday sissy! ♥


retort:
but surely you don't want to be stuck there?
better than going back to sg.

packing for melb and i realised that i cannot find my make up. noooo. one of the few times i actually wear make up, and i can't find it. extremely not worth buying new things, since i seriously only use make up for weddings/ balls etc. :( i think i left it in singapore. zzz. and my sister confirms it. :(

am glad it's payday again tomorrow. have been looking forward to this one because finally i will earn more than minimal wage, ha. okay, maybe minimal intern wage. though some of it will fly away because of the mani and make up. gah.

hair straightener - overkill?

have i mentioned that queensland health is no longer supplying pens for us? that is just ridiculous, given how much we write, and how many pens i lose every week (at least 3). give every patient a bedside ipad and we won't need to write anymore. and also they cut the hbacs program (which is equivalent to hospital in the home), which is so stupid because it saves loads of money. it's one of the examples i used for the financial accountability question haha.

twenty days to go.

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.


3 days to goooo. :) my main aim for tonight is to start packing. i always forget stuff.

busy day today - we had two new #nofs come in during our hours. nearly felt like i was back on surg, until about 2pm when i stopped to have lunch. after that it was pretty slack.

helped one of the ortho SHOs cannulate his patient. the patient told him, "from the way she is feeling my veins, i know she is good." ;p hahaha okay but no, i am only as good as their veins.

i have a pruritic rash on my abdo which has been worsening over the last few weeks. but i have been too lazy to use my steroid cream. rawr. my long nails aren't helping either.

having dinner with the girls tomorrow at ba vigo. then getting my mani done on thursday after work. have to make another batch of macarons either on weds or thurs. and then i have to drive to the airport straight from work on friday.

not sure how to bring the ganache - i just brought it in the piping bag the last time but i'm not sure if it's considered a liquid haha. and i don't want to pipe them before i arrive because it'll be too messy if it melts (brisbane is so much warmer than melb at the moment).

feeling so lazy...


4 days to go! :)

my new reg is ean (i couldn't remember if it was ean or san marie first). she's easygoing, like wen. just that she doesn't tell me what's happening sometimes, as compared to wen, who brings me everywhere she goes haha.

our permanent resident patient dislocated his hip again. :( he's in no discomfort though, but he'll have to have surgery on weds (i don't even know what surgery). and we currently have 8 patients, which is the most we've had since i started.

so annoyed with s kelly, the rmo medical recruitment officer at nambour. she had to go on leave during the recruitment period, which is about the only time of the year she has to do her job, and didn't tell me that she didn't receive my academic transcript and second reference. until i went to ask today. and i checked my email - it says she received and read my reply on the same day i sent it! lies.

and apparently james sent my reference to the wrong email, but that was my fault. also emailed dr bambery because i wasn't sure if james would reply, so s kelly will get an extra reference. and it's not like i really want to work here, since it's my backup job, but sometimes i wonder if she realises that although it's just one application for her, it's someone's job on the line.

tomorrow's intern education is a clinical skills one. i had actually intended to skip the clinical skills one because i hate scenarios (and my attendance has been pretty good), but it's on O&G clinical skills. which actually interests me. hmm.

graham said he also has an AE-1 now! haha. filling the world with analogue love. :)

off to shower and make macarons. :) hope they turn out as well as the ones yesterday! :)


dehydrated strawberries and macarons. i couldn't get them red like i wanted, so they're just deep pink haha. waiting for the "shield" to form.. i hope my oven doesn't fail me today. :(


the last time we spoke
you said you were hurting
and i felt your pain in my heart

attempted to sleep in but still woke up at 7.20am.. oh well, an hour later than usual, at least. went to spotlight and spent so much money there. :\ going to attempt to make a top haha. thinking about how much easier it would be if i had my sewing machine here!

bought food colouring in the form of a paste. :) want to make red macarons haha. i actually want to make half red and half plain, but i feel a bit zz to attempt it because my oven is so annoying. so tempted to use to huge oven in the hospital haha.1

sewed a bowtie and a collar for becks. ;p too lazy to make one for bailey now.. maybe in a couple of weeks haha, since i'll be away the next two weekends. the bowtie is detachable - it attaches with those kiap kiap things haha. he looks so handsome. ;p

pondered for the first time, today, whether i've missed out by not doing certain things in my "youth." to be honest, i have no regrets - about those things, anyway.

have been inspired by barbara's nails. they are so long, i'm sure she is unable to percuss. not that i percuss on a daily basis anyway.. wondering if i could possibly get a shellac mani before i go to melb. i don't think my nails will be long enough though. :\

watched Black Swan. so good, but so terrifying still.

my itinerary for the rest of the year:
21-23 sept - melbourne
27-1 oct - perth
12-16 nov - singapore
17-20 nov - bangkok
21-23 nov - singapore
24-29 nov - taiwan
30 nov - singapore
1-2 dec - kl
3-5 dec - singapore
6-16 dec - melbourne
17 dec - back to work in the sunny coast

i've calculated - this year i will have spent 23 days in singapore. twenty-three! that isn't even 4 weeks. and i will also have flown 23 times, unless i go home for christmas, then it'll be 25. i would probably have flown more than i've taken public transport this year. ;p hahaha.


day 12 of 12. :) my weekend is here at last! :) but my reg is gone. :( what am i going to do! :(

another relaxed day at work. wen did the round super fast, like a surg round haha. then the boss came and tried to gather evidence that plavix should not be the reason why surgery is postponed. then we went over to the lemon cafe and had coffee/ chocolate haha.

went for the case presentation thing and fell asleep. at least there was food, and it was the good kind, like at the GI MDTs haha.

drove home, changed, grabbed the box of egg tarts from the fridge, and then hurried off. drove to st lucia to drop the egg tart off at shaina's (she wasn't there, so i passed them to edmund). was going to be late so i sped all the way to sunnybank haha.

had dinner at little hong kong, giant portions. got to eat siew yoke! ♥ then they proceeded to have bubble tea but i was too full (and also not a big fan of bubble tea). drove vivian home and we talked throughout the 1.5 hour drive. i've been thinking that she was the most intimidating of the lot haha, but she seems nice.

i think i have come a long way. occasionally i still wonder about my motivations, but i know i am moving in the right direction.

have discovered more lymph nodes, which i'm pretty sure have not been palpable before. so i am considering going to a GP.. though really.. i'm not sure if it should be investigated given i have no symptoms. then again, like suji said, i'm young..

project for the weekend: make bowties for the cats. planning to sleep in (or attempt to sleep in) and then go to spotlight to get fabric and possibly some powder/ gel food dyes/ flavourings. ;p

okay goodnight.


why do you build me up buttercup baby
just to let me down and mess me around
and then worst of all you never call baby
when you say you will but i love you still

day 11 of 12! so i've worked 11 days, but i've driven back and forth 13 times haha. only one day till the weekend. :) and then next week i get a new reg. :(

a rather uneventful day at work for me but my reg was a lot busier haha. we had an expect from gympie but the patient didn't arrive till 1pm, so we went to the library (as usual) to slack etc. then she went for lunch and i went to find a secret corner to have my interview.

it went alright, they asked pretty much the same questions they asked dee, but the guy told me straight up that they just have a list of questions they asked. i wonder if i'd prefer western to southern. anyway, interviews over! i'm happy, though i'm not sure if i should be. melbourne health rejected me so i kicked them off my cpl = it looks like i applied to 12 and got interviews for 6. but i didn't get eastern. or peninsula (does peninsula give interviews?). oh well. re-ordered my cpl and am hoping and praying for the best.

had thai red curry for lunch. :D yum. with barbara. barbara is taiwanese and very cute haha.

the boss came in the afternoon to see the new patient, and he wanted us to learn how to do a femoral nerve block. but the anaesthetics reg had to do something else first so we went home haha.

drove back to nambour for dinner at barbara's again, but cooked by vivian this time. contributed egg tarts. :) six doctors and a pharmacist.

tomorrow we're going to sunnybank for dinner. as usual, my biggest concern when driving to brisbane.. where to park! i need to find out tomorrow. also need to drive vivian back after that.. i hope i don't fall asleep.

dress lady mailed my dress out today. :) she said it should arrive a day early (18 sept). i hope it does. need to leave a message for the car rental people to just put my mail upstairs because i won't get to check it again after this weekend. wen said i need to have a backup dress. i do, i just don't have shoes to go with it. and i also really don't like it haha.

kept thinking that today was friday.

i am so tired. maybe it's a symptom... showed my reg (and suji, who happened to be there) my obviously enlarged cervical lymph node, and had all my cervical lymph nodes checked. obviously i had already done that. i do have another palpable one.. elsewhere.. but that's been there since like 4th year and has not increased in size. but i have no night sweats/ weight loss/ fevers. but it is non-tender. suji said to watch it and consider an FNA if it doesn't resolve. it's just disturbing that it is visible when i tilt my neck.

thinking about it.. maybe the sole purpose of it was to make me do things. rather a roundabout way of doing it, but at least it is getting it done.

weird that i am organising a dinner eh. with the surg people. :) i'm really glad to have done my first rotation with them. :) and dee asked me to cat sit again haha. :) too bad i can't tan by her pool again, cos it'll only be weekdays..


three steps forward, two steps back.

my God cares too much to say
His mercies are new everyday
i get down to pray
and then help is on its way

now in faith i believe
i've got everything i need
i walk by faith and not by what i see
i've got friends in high places
i've got someone i can call
and i've got someone watching over me


charm is back in sg! i feel nervous for her. but from what i can remember, WA's second match still comes before VIC's first. 3.5 weeks to go before i find out if i have a job in melb or not. so fast eh.

chai and hanting are engaged! :D yay another wedding to attend haha. :)

finally done with the egg tarts - had to run out to coles at 8.40pm (it closed at 9pm) to get more eggs haha. coles eggs are a deeper yellow compared to woolies eggs.

now i am undecided again, but as has been the case many times this year, what i have is time.

9 days to melb
14 days to perth (charm says her housemates are going to celebrate mid autumn festival when i'm there!)
26 days to pmcv match
2 months to singapore


day 10 of 12. only 2 to go! :)

it's obvious that i've been stressed.. because i have pimples on my face. ;p haha. but yes it's been a rather stressful 1.5 weeks, what with working the weekend for the first time, having to do a presentation, and the southern interview.

wen was really nice to me this morning (as usual). we went to see one patient together, then went for the radiology meeting - but that was moved upstairs because the auditorium was occupied, so we decided to skip it rather than squeezing into a small room. then she told me to go and calm myself down while she did the rest of the ward round.

thought the interview went alright. mostly because i was well-prepared. ;p talked to dee about it yesterday and they asked me exactly the same questions! was really glad. :) last interview tomorrow.. can't wait for it to be over. :) it's true what wen said.. it's good that the more important interviews came after i've had practice with a few already.

went for MDT and presented cases. it's so much easier presenting cases in this MDT compared to the GI/ breast MDT because with these ones the allied health people already know the patients - so i actually don't know what purpose the MDT serves haha.

showed wen pictures of bowties for cats haha. but she said i was mad because they were $24 each. so she went to youtube how to make a bowtie haha. that shall be my project for the weekend. ;p

was officially invited to the asian dinner at vivian's tomorrow night. said i would bring egg tarts, so i hope they're successful. also bought strawberries to dehydrate and process for macarons (will possibly make them and bring to melb? ;p). will also bring some egg tarts to st lucia on friday night if shaina's at home. though it's a friday night, hmm. see if they're successful first. ;p

feel like we're waiting for a wave of # nofs.


day 9 of 12. only 3 to go! :)

another uneventful day. one of our patients left to go somewhere else for rehab. my favourite patient is going there too tomorrow. they're both happy because they became friends and they'll see each other at that other place haha. my favourite patient told me she liked my shoes today. ;p too cute.

my other favourite patient is battling with hypotension and anaemia post op. no haematoma or collection at the wound site, we don't know where she's bleeding. Hb 76 yesterday, we gave her 1 unit and today it was 77. so we gave her 2 units today.

southern interview tomorrow, ugh.

went to dee's after work to return her key. she opened the door, looked at me, and said "you look so cute! were you at work?!" :| was i dressed too casually for work? haha. she told me about her interviews and her ongoing job hunt. :\ hope she gets a job in melb! she bought me a teacup haha. so now i need to go and get myself some of that japanese toasted rice tea that i actually like.

am tired, though i'm not sure why. was disappointed to find out that i'd actually finished my icypoles haha. need to go and get some more.

feel like eating egg tarts and hence feel like making them. saved the yolks from the egg whites i'm ageing, only to look at the egg tart recipe and realise that i need whole eggs for that. -.-

oh and the stroke/geri consultant emailed me asking for my TIA presentation. ;p he said he's going to use it to teach med students haha. ;p

emailed a lady about RDOs over christmas, after being redirected a couple of times. hopefully she's the right person to ask and i'll get an answer soon.

ten days to melbourne! need to get ready to freeze. ;p


on sunday i kept writing the date as 9/9/11 in all my patients' notes.

talked to weide on fb again haha. he asked me how my presentation went. :) and also demanded macarons, a treat, and a birthday/ christmas present. apparently his call pay is <$10/hr. D: that is ridiculous. i cannot even. plus it isn't even just like our ward call shifts. it is a full on 36 hour shift. how ridiculous is that!!! and people wonder why i don't want to go back and work.

am contemplating going back to sg for christmas haha. mainly because i don't want to be alone i think. :| and also kind of to illustrate my "i will go back when i can" point. there are 2 public holidays, and it's not a core rotation so technically i can request RDOs. the only thing is that i'm not sure if they'll approve RDOs over christmas, because i'm sure it's a popular time to request RDOs. and another thing is that i'll have been in sg only weeks before haha.

i can either take 1 RDO and pay aud1078 to spend 3.5 days in sg, or take 3 RDOs and spend 6.5 days there. obviously the 6.5 day option is preferable, but i'm not sure how easily they approve RDOs then, so i'll have to find out tomorrow.


day 8 of 12. 4 days to go!! cannot wait.

so it was presentation day, and i was filled with dread. ;p had that argument with myself again - whether to go to work or call in sick. in med sch i used to be able to avoid presentations with ease. since i've started work i've been forcing myself to do it. but i haven't really had to do many since surg (at the weekly MDT meetings).

no new patients, yeay. presented the two that i saw over the weekend to the boss and went on the ward round etc. went to tell a febrile patient that we wanted to get her temp down before we transfused her (her Hb was 76 post op) and as i left her bedside i heard her tell her daughter, "she's a lovely little thing, isn't she?" ;p aww i love some of my patients haha. some of the oldies are so cute.

went for grand rounds and fell asleep. no food again. :( wen says they usually have food, it's only the last couple of weeks that there hasn't been food. :( then the geri people moved to the PD room and i gave my presentation. there were lots of questions asked, but thankfully they weren't directed at me. and at the end they seemed to think it was good. :) one of the consultants asked me to send him my presentation haha. yay!

every presentation i give is a tiny step towards me overcoming my social anxiety disorder. (is what i tell myself) (but i really don't do it frequently enough for it to work)

my reg is really nice. i told her that i needed to go back to the ward to rewrite a drug chart, and she went with me and actually started writing it haha. which reg does that?! anyway, in the end she had to talk to a rehab place about one of our patients so i completed it, but still. am very blessed to have her as my reg. :) but she's going on 4 weeks annual leave next week. D: then i'll have sanmarie (whose husband is the night reg at caldem) and ean i think. i'm sure they're both nice too.

making chicken rice for dinner. :) yum. oh and wen invited me to go to brisbane with the asian doctors (this is what i shall call them from now on) for dinner at sunny bank (chinatown) on friday night. so i thought i should bake something and drop by shaina's to thank her for letting me stay that time haha. shall see what i can bake... i quite liked the rosewater macarons the last time, hmm.

need to find my other usb modem so i can have fast internet again (and not waste my money on that one).


day 7 of 12. i am exhausted! 5 days to go before a break.

yesterday one of my patients (my current favourite) told me: you're a spot of sunshine in my morning! ;p awww. she was the one who was extremely suspicious of us because of patel, to the extent that she didn't even want to let my boss listen to her chest. but now she's all friendly haha.

anyway, today i didn't get the same amount of love haha. all of my patients were fine, but we had two new ones. took me the first hour to see them and check their investigations and write in their notes, then quickly whip around briefly seeing the rest to make sure they'd been fine overnight. then the weekend (stroke) consultant came and we saw the new ones (again).

they're not too bad i guess. no real pertinent medical issues, just # left NOFs awaiting surgery. hopefully they'll have had their surgeries today, otherwise they'll be starving.

was finally left with 70 mins to see my 7 geri patients, but spent 10 mins helping a couple find the patient they were visiting. whipped around seeing them also, but thankfully they were all fine overnight. yay.

i always feel bad when the nurses call me by name but i never know theirs. :| but then there are so many of them. :|

came home, had lunch, watched some white collar, and did my TIA presentation. got bored halfway and brought the cats out for a walk haha. so they're all dirty now, hmm. finished my presentation.. it's only 15 mins long. faints. some more when i'm nervous i talk faster = it'll probably only be 10 mins long omg. D: i hope they don't ask me any questions because i will not know the answer. i don't even know the stroke syndromes rawr.

what i would like is one of those lazy rekorderlig city tempo nights...

12 days till i fly to melb! :D i just can't wait for this week to be over.. stupid presentation and interviews.

i wonder if anyone noticed..


do you remember when we first met? i sure do, it was some time in early september. you were lazy about it, you made me wait around. i was so crazy about you, i didn't mind.

such a stressful morning, and it wasn't even because of work haha. but in the end i just sucked it up and did it.

i hope the bowtie arrives. monday would be nice. happy birthday!

it was a rather uneventful day at work, thankfully. no new admits, and all our old patients were fine. saw them, wrote their notes, then went over to 3FW and CAMU. remembered how funny it is talking to old demented people sometimes.

told wen about some of the things that happened today when she came in for her ward call shift at 12. she seemed happy with my management plans. :)

kris: fawn, you sure you don't want that patient?
me: what?
*listens*
patient: LANCE!! LANCE!! I WANT TO GO HOME. TO BE WITH MARGIE. (repeats every 2 minutes)

haha kris seemed quite busy though. i'm glad i'm doing orthogeri's rather than ortho! hoping for another admission-less morning tomorrow. and hopefully i won't have to talk to the stroke consultant again, because i'm sure he thinks i'm stupid. -.-

came home and had lunch, then went to dee's place to check on calypso again. tanned in her backyard beside her pool. ;p thought about having a swim but the water was really cold. think i have quite a reasonable tan now, considering it's only early spring. ;p the pros of living up in queensland.

fed and watered calypso, and cleared the soiled litter. played with her a bit more, then came home.

need to do my presentation, but i'm contemplating just leaving it till tomorrow. i know i'll freak out even more though. my cortisol levels are already sky-high, i'm sure. ugh, presentations are the bane of my life.

was thinking about one of my favourite patients from surg the other day. couldn't remember his name, but realised that i could remember his UR number hahaha.

seeds of doubt. TO DO OR NOT TO DO. sigh.


day 5 of 12. i'm tired already. :( and i have a presentation on monday. :( which i have not really prepared for at all. grr.

tomorrow i need to see the new patients. hopefully there are none - we haven't had any since monday, but apparently #nofs come in waves. then i need to see our old patients. and then i need to see the geri patients (apparently all of them are stable and one is verbally abusive). and then at some point during the morning the consultant will call me and we'll see the new ones together. then if there are any others i'm concerned about, i can ask him/her to see them with me too.

so far i have to see 12, which is not bad at all. i hope i'll have time to do my presentation. think i will bring my laptop so i can use the internet, heh. the stupid supervisor person has yet to approve my application, ugh.

had my northeast interview today, which kind of sucked. but that's alright, because i actually don't want to work there at all. i think i might even take it off my cpl. note: deadline to edit cpl = 27 sept.

one of our patients had a nstemi, probably yesterday. D: another of our patients died, at 4.25pm. my second death so far, and this was a coroner's case too, but only because he'd had a fall.

had dinner with some of the other asian doctors at one of their houses. barbara (from taiwan) cooked. :) was nice, but a bit weird, because i think the next most junior doctor there was an SHO, which means she's 2 years my senior. but my reg (who is actually an advanced trainee, i just realised today) has been inviting me to these asian meetings haha.

southern interview on wed, and western interview on thurs. i can't even remember what time the western interview is. i am so over interviews. can't wait to get them over and done with.. just give me a job already. -.-

so queensland health has had a major budget cut and i think 3000 people lost their jobs. maybe that's why some of the nambour interns didn't get offered a JHO job next year? :\

thought about using the hospital phone haha. "can i get an outside line please? +65.." haha. right.

i hope no one dies on me over the weekend.


blessed beyond measure

a bit lazy to blog today, but of course i still will, ha.

finished the ward round and jobs by 10am and did nothing for the rest of the day. re-applied for internet access. did a bit of my tia presentation, then got bored and stopped. did one discharge summary, but the patient didn't end up being transferred anyway.

orthogeri's is a rather isolating rotation i think. i share the office with the ortho guys and the difference is stark - they have clinics and theatre, i have nothing. haha.

matt went and wrote all sorts of random (and rubbish) jobs on the board for tom, who was the ward call. tom actually believed some of them and went to check them out haha.

one of the geri regs told me that there should be only 6-7 geri patients to see over the weekend. which means i should have to see about 12 patients. unless we suddenly get a heap of NOFs tomorrow.

went to dee's place to top up calypso's food and play with her for a bit. she didn't even pretend to be scared of me haha. she's huge. but most of it is fluff.

does this not look amazing? i could look at it forever.

jetstar is having their farewell winter sale. i feel like going somewhere. but oh yes, about 2 weeks to melbourne (and the dress lady has yet to confirm the dress material).

went to the plaza after feeding calypso, with the intention of getting work pants (i am pretty sure i left a whole bag of work clothes up in bundy :|). ended up getting the work pants, a pair of floral jeans, pink shorts, a dress, and a work top. ;p hahaha. good thing it was payday yesterday. but anyway it cost me $126.79 in total, so it wasn't too bad. ;p

thought about wearing the floral jeans to work tomorrow but decided i'd save it for the weekend haha. my reg has worn khakis and trek shoes (?track shoes) twice already this week, so i doubt anyone will mind my jeans very much haha.

i am so tired.


day 3 of 12.

reminder to self: remember to go and feed dee's cat tomorrow.

also need to get my AVAC form signed by the boss (to get paid for working overtime yesterday). today was pay day.. and i'm already looking forward to the next one! ;p haha. have been earning minimum wage the last rotation, it's not funny.

might be going to bangkok and pattaya in nov instead of lombok. i was all excited - oh i can ask tae to meet me! but then i realised that he would be in melb. :( sad face.

another rather boring day at work. tried to find out what i'm meant to do on the weekend because i'm genuinely quite worried about it - having never worked weekends before (like a proper weekend, not ward call). found out that i have to see all our ortho geri patients, as well as the geri patients (who are on another ward). forgot to ask about when the boss comes in. need to ask wen tomorrow.

it's nice having a malaysian reg. we just speak singlish/ manglish all day. ;p haha good times.

told my patient (the one who hates me because i keep poking him) with great joy that we were stopping his heparin infusion and starting clexane and warfarin instead. so i can leave all the poking to the phlebotomist now. :) :) he also hates me much less. :) :)

forgot to write about how i got the world's lousiest handover for this rotation. -.- on the other hand, i got a reply from komal (who's doing gen med in bundy now), saying that my handover was the best she'd gotten this year, and would probably be the best for the year. ;p hehe. she wanted to buy me coffee for it. ;p but i said it's okay, dr bambery has bought me enough hot chocs for the year.

have started drinking milo on the ward again. :D


omg just watched my aunty's whale watching video - she went to watch whales today in gold coast. so close and so many! :O i also want!!!! :(

day 2 of ortho geri. i am being paid overtime! :D yeay. wen (my reg) says they'll probably get the ortho people to help out with our patients when i go to perth since i've already been granted my RDOs. but it will be nice to earn overtime rates for some tuesdays, and to get paid to work weekends too. my savings account has been dwindling.

one of my patients hates me now because i keep going to poke him with needles. :( he told me not to come back for a fortnight. but because he's had DVTs and PEs before, he's been on a heparin infusion pre-op, so we need to check his APTT every 4-6 hours. :| he's running out of veins too. :\ i poked his leg just now.

anyway, i have been offered an interview with southern health!!! :D :D :D although i kind of want to work at a small hospital where it's not so busy and people are friendly. :|

need to not be lazy and put stuff in the slow cooker later so i can have a homecooked dinner tomorrow. planning to have thai for lunch. :D yum.

met zin in the hospital today. she's already on maternity leave.. and her EDD is my birthday! :D

looked at the lineup but the most important thing was.... the ipod touch in the foreground.


okay change of plans. texted my reg to tell her i had the day off, then she called to ask me to go in anyway. apparently there used to be 1 reg, 2 SHOs, and 1 intern on the team, but for some reason they cut the 2 SHOs. and my reg said she thinks she would die if she was alone, would i mind coming in.

i actually had plans to go to the beach haha, but there was a 50% chance of that not happening anyway. i don't really mind going in.. after all, if they pay me overtime... 8 hrs of overtime = $504 ($336 after tax).. why would i say no to that! although i'm a bit worried.... because i have already requested RDOs. :| some of the bundy SHOs need to come here, seriously. bundy is way overstaffed.


hello. first day of work all over again. have to get used to this waking up early to drive to work thing. i miss sleeping in and taking a 5 min walk to work already!

it was a rather good first day. except that i found out that i am presenting at the geri meeting next monday. -.- ugh. at least it's not like surg, where i need to work till 6 or 7 every day (i left on time, at 4.30pm today).

i finally found out what ortho geri is. from what i'd heard, it was all old people and #nofs, which of course sums it up pretty well.. it's just that the impression i got from that was that we actually repair the #nofs. turns out we don't. so two teams (ortho and ortho geri) look after the patient, which makes it confusing at times.

my boss is.. okay i don't know where he's from. he seems nice, except that he keeps asking me questions. i wish i had a med student to answer on my behalf. plus i don't think he has many clinics so he's there most days too.

my reg is a malaysian haha. she's nice. we were looking at a patient's urine output - 500ml over 6 hours = ?ml/hr. she wrote ~80ml/hr and asked me if it was right. i spent a long time thinking about it, then she hit me and said "correct lah!" hahaha. i haven't been able to do simple mental sums since i started uni.

grand rounds - fell asleep. geri meeting - arrived halfway because i had to go and take bloods. i didn't even need to take the bloods actually, because the ortho team had stopped the heparin infusion. -.-

had a patient who refused to let us do anything to her (even listen to her chest) because she didn't know us and was paranoid because of patel. she would only let her GPs treat her. -.- but then her husband came and convinced her that we were good people haha. and then she was lovely after that.

met elissa in the 2E doctor's room.
"so what are you going to do next year?"
"oh i don't know yet.."
"i thought you didn't want to be a doctor anymore?"
true, but as i keep telling everyone.. once you're a doctor, it's easier to just be a doctor. take the path of least resistance.. until you have enough money to do what you really want. ;p

no new emails/ interviews. no pictures of the other fabric from the dress lady.

just remembered that this weds is payday. yay!

need to pick a topic for my talk soon. :( i just realised that i'm not working tomorrow? i was so going to go to work tomorrow!! zzz. must remember to text my reg haha. but i think i'll go for intern education, because the talk is about falls and i'm hoping the presenter is not from the geri team so i can steal her talk hahaha. ;p okay i can't, because there are other interns at the geri meeting, grr. though i think i'll just use the same presentation for my intern case presentation.

the cats have been sleeping in their own bed since i made it for them (and put it beside my own bed). i think they figured that my bed is too small, so every time i move i disturb them. they are so cute sleeping squashed together in that basket haha.


i think you're being too optimistic. it's annoying. and you obviously have no insight into what you're talking about, so it's unrealistic. grr.

walked to mooloolaba this morning, along the beach. there's a sense of sadness in thinking that i may leave next year. will miss queensland's beaches much!

met eve and dee at hot pipis, but because we didn't make a reservation, they said it would be a 30 min wait. so we went to via italia's instead, a few doors down.

dee said i looked so summery and tan. :D i'm actually darker than she is now. and she is canadian, but her parents are both jamaican, so she's dark. she said she's thinking of having her wedding in jamaica! and we're invited. ;p hahaha. might make a trip to jamaica, when the wedding actually happens, and if they have it there.

going to look after her cat, calypso, for a few days while she's in melb. apparently calypso weighs 8kg. :O so fat! haha. she said once she went away for 3 days and left like a bunch of food out for her. she thinks she ate all the food in the first day haha.

walked to koorong, but it was closed, it being a sunday and all. walked back along mooloolaba esplanade/ alex parade. went into a shop and didn't buy anything, but spent quite a while talking to the lady in the shop - she's from melbourne too.

bought a jodi picoult book today, because i just wanted a book i know i would definitely enjoy. i'm so easily distracted these days. it wasn't even on sale.

the dress lady said that the dusty pink rose fabric is out of stock. :( there's a purple fabric, or another dusty rose but with bigger rosettes. i don't like the purple - i think i'm just not a purple person. shall wait for her to send me a photo of the other fabric.

too bored - looking at cheesemaking courses and manuals on how to develop your own film.

it's father's day #2! i don't need to feel guilty this year because i celebrated singapore's father's day with my father already. ;p


moons circle planets
and planets circle stars
stars and entire galaxies rotate eternally
and you and i circle each other
for you are my universe
and i will be yours

it's spring! :D woke up to the glaring sun at 8.30 this morning. showered the cats and then myself, and went out to eumundi. had a german bratwurst and banana smoothie. :) then spent some time in berkelouw books, but managed to not buy anything, ha.

went to sunshine beach for a while after that. thought about tanning on my balcony, and decided to go to bunnings to check out that hammock i saw online ages ago (prompted by charmie's postcard). anyway the hammock was huge. it fits into a reasonably-sized box when dismantled, but the frame looked heavy. thought about getting a deck chair instead. and then maybe just the deck chair cushion thing. then oh, why not just an air mattress? ;p hahaha. but no i haven't gotten one. think it might be weird if my neighbour saw me in a bikini on an air mattress outside on the balcony?

looked through one of my etsy emails and discovered a brilliant idea. ;p okay the original idea was for wedding favours but obviously i'm not going to be needing to do that anytime soon.

finally glued my freezer compartment door back together using histocryl (read: medical grade, sterile, superglue). ;p hahaha. okay it wasn't sterile anymore because i had actually used it to glue a lady's laceration shut ages ago when i was doing ED, but thought i would just keep the tube since i'd only used a few drops on her. had the random idea that i could use it as regular superglue. ;p

journaled on paper for the first time in a long time.

might not go to cairns anymore, cos tae wants to go to sydney haha. sydney has gotten a bit boring for me.. except for adriano zumbo of course. ;p wonder if i should still go to cairns since i'm up here in qld - flights are quite a bit cheaper, hmm.

happy teacher's day!