fawn
27
(doctor!)
singapore/ sunny coast
melbourne! ♥
(would love to bake for a cafe/
?bird & brie)
wallflower
☁
my brother says i am
a cumulonimbus cloud :)

also

joy unspeakable that won’t go away
and just enough strength to live for today
so i never have to worry
what tomorrow will bring
‘cause my faith is on a solid rock
i am counting on God
♡
in dreams and in love
there are no impossibilities.
- jános arany
☼
You make all things
work together for my good.

people

rong; yurong; diana; may;
peiyu; caleb; kevin; daniel; joel;
lois; susanna; june; jane; cheryl;
yuwan; christina; jocelyn;
ivy; mangyik; jasmine; ida; valerie;
jason; joab; shaun; jintat;
jonathan chua; freedy; gary;
iris; sammy; nicky;

love

history

March 2005; April 2005; May 2005; June 2005; July 2005; August 2005; September 2005; October 2005; November 2005; December 2005; January 2006; February 2006; March 2006; April 2006; May 2006; June 2006; July 2006; August 2006; September 2006; October 2006; November 2006; December 2006; January 2007; February 2007; March 2007; April 2007; May 2007; June 2007; July 2007; August 2007; September 2007; October 2007; November 2007; December 2007; January 2008; February 2008; March 2008; April 2008; May 2008; June 2008; July 2008; August 2008; September 2008; October 2008; November 2008; December 2008; January 2009; February 2009; March 2009; April 2009; May 2009; June 2009; July 2009; August 2009; September 2009; October 2009; November 2009; December 2009; January 2010; February 2010; March 2010; April 2010; May 2010; June 2010; July 2010; August 2010; September 2010; October 2010; November 2010; December 2010; January 2011; February 2011; March 2011; April 2011; May 2011; June 2011; July 2011; August 2011; September 2011; October 2011; November 2011; December 2011; January 2012; February 2012; March 2012; April 2012; May 2012; June 2012; July 2012; August 2012; September 2012; October 2012; November 2012; December 2012; January 2013; February 2013; March 2013; April 2013; May 2013; June 2013; July 2013; August 2013; September 2013; October 2013; November 2013; December 2013; January 2014; February 2014; March 2014; April 2014; May 2014; June 2014; July 2014; August 2014; September 2014; October 2014; November 2014; January 2015; February 2015; March 2015; April 2015; May 2015; June 2015; July 2015; August 2015; February 2016; March 2016; April 2016; June 2016; July 2016; August 2016; September 2016; October 2016; November 2016;

credits

Hosts: blogger; photobucket
Layout: /strawberrying

i've practised this for hours

two things i would like very much now are a lomography spinner 360 and an electronic kitchen scale. please? the lomo shipping isn't as expensive as i expected. but then the camera is quite ex.. i should sell my diana mini heh.

attempt #2 was more successful! yay. :) though i put too much almond meal and the mixture was too thick i think. so it looks ugly. but it has the foot! :) just that it looks ugly. haha. and too big. oh well. charmaine wants to try different flavours next time haha.


bryan couldn't fix the iMac because part of it couldn't be removed and he couldn't find some wires. :( i don't know anything about it either so i was mostly useless ha. hope ian can help?

huiru is going to taiwan at the same time as me! ;p maybe we can meet up! and sebas finally talked to me haha. it's been a while. i hope nine can still go on a holiday. or i hope i can still go on a nine holiday. when does uni start..?

talking to unlikely people.
yesterday i had a normal conversation with Y. this struck me because that hasn't happened in a long time. also Y attempted to save me from my embarrassment in class so hmmm maybe Y isn't all that bad.
and also i met marc in the common room and was complaining about how i had a 2 hour break with nothing to do, and he asked me to play starcraft2. -.-

went to church for set up.. had one question and one favour to ask, but didn't ask either.

need to get some work done before next week starts. thankfully it's workshop week and according to yuwan we start at 12nn on monday. :)


it's been about a year now

the weekend is hereeee! and i'm not going to hospital too haha. which is nice. will try to sleep in so my eyes aren't so tired all the time. :|

and i was utterly embarrassed during the tute, which totally made me regret even staying for it.. :| i don't know.

and i still keep getting headaches. throbbing headaches. sigh. and i need to pay for registration for the car again, which means i have no more money! rawr. and adium isn't working.

went for the 5th year info session and got to talk to people after that. :) got a big hug from kw haha. really feels like i haven't seen everyone in forever. :( won't see kw anymore either because she'll be at the alfred and i'll be at mmc. only when we start mugging in the library again. ;p

i hope not many people want to go to malaysia in 6. :3


fail. :( :( :( so devastating. :( but i got charmaine's googled perfect recipe so i will make another attempt. just not so soon. i think. it still feels like i have no time.

did some rubbish ebcp. health econs deadline is monday (as in last monday) and i don't even have anything to write. sigh.

can't even be bothered to do any more work tonight. am amazed that i am still awake and functioning reasonably. but my headache is coming back.

skyped with my mother and isaac. they showed me the kitten! i don't want to adopt it anymore because it bites toes. it does look a lot like tabby though. except with an uglier tail. and demonica's eyes, my mother says, but nicer. and isaac is in the soccer team! i hope it helps him lose some weight. my baby brother is 13 years younger than i am and weighs more than i do.

going to taiwan at the end of the year. :) and probably phuket. and hopefully spain over cny? :) though that means i have to bring some warm clothes back (as if i even have any). actually no. i can borrow my sister's. ;p

will try to get up early tomorrow morning to cook and mug. a bit.

have been thinking about it a lot lately and i hope it happens sooner rather than later.


she's quite weird.

i plucked my page down button out because some pistachio skin got under it. and now i broke the inside thing and can't fit it in anymore. :( how stupid is that! rawr. picky looks ugly without one key. :(

ian asked yuwan to drop picky so i can get a new laptop haha. i will.. at the end of the year, hopefully. :3

have yet to do anything other than prepare to bake. :| need to do ebcp!

i feel like i need toothpicks to keep my eyes open.


i wish i didn't have permanent eyebags.

woke up late today and rushed to hospital. ended up earlier than the midwife i was meant to be stalking anyway. went out to visit five ladies and their babies. :) so cute. :) had to navigate.. the car was stuffy and i got a headache.

went to pick up something from the post office. :) and get a box so i can finally send ian's stuff back haha. though it will still have to wait until the letter comes.

i'll miss dandenong hospital when i go back to mmc. :( but i might still come on some saturdays to try and catch babies haha. and fridays for tutes.

i feel like there are so many things to do! :( but first on the list is ebcp and reading up for tomorrow's tutes on menorrhagia, gestational trophoblastic disorders and hypertension in pregnancy. and also health economics (do we have to do this every week?).

and then i will make macarons (hopefully). and possibly tomorrow's dinner. and attempt to arrange a meet up with sb before he goes back to singapore. it's his birthday today! heh. still have to do the abmt thing, i'm not sure what i'm supposed to do exactly...


stayed in hospital for 16 hours today! i know, i am crazy. wanted to catch a baby but it refused to come out! so i got to hospital before 7am and left at 10.45pm. whee.

didn't do much work though. mostly sat around watching tv/ the CTG trace and talking to the patient and husband. but now my legs are so tired.

and it was a kiwi cup in the end! meaning i couldn't do it. though i could get it signed off. but i already have one signed off. anyway. it was cool that at the end the grandmothers and father and mother were all hugging me haha. when all i really did was stand around adjusting the foetal heart monitor thing and explain a bit of stuff to the grandmother.

oh she was nice and let me do an internal too. but she had an epidural so she didn't really feel anything anyway. i have decided (without ...) to have an epidural when i have a baby! yay.

now i have to sleep so i can wake up early again tomorrow goodnight.


am still in hospital! the baby refuses to be born. but i want to catch the baby. just had dinner, going back to the birth unit soon. baby please be born soon so i can go home! have been here for nearly 12 hours already..


background

when that day comes, i will know that we have crossed another milestone. it will not come soon. it's difficult, comparing. i don't want to but how can i not?

9 surgeries/ procedures today. 5 VEs. scrubbed in once to antevert/ retrovert a uterus. stood for most of the 9 hours. was so glad when i could leave and sit down.

headache. :( every day! :( i even ate lunch today lor. :(

skyped with ian! who got a new pin. and a new account. and is going to earn money! yay. and will drive me around in his merc when i get back hahaha okay that part is self-declared. i am planning to send a lot of junk to him. soon.

have to drive to north carlton tomorrow ugh. that's 45 minutes from dandy! and another 40+ minutes back. :\ am too tired to try and get there using google maps, will probably have to rely on my gps instead.

i hope i get a birth tomorrow.

picky is making a lot of noise. :( ARE YOU OKAY.

as usual, i just want to sleep. goodnight!


Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering. - The History of Love, Nicole Krauss

calculated silences

went to berwick today. drove past the place we drove through the first day we attempted fishing. the clinic was near there.

had another headache today. still having it. or maybe it's just a sort of lightheaded feeling. a bit different, not as intense. am still able to function, as evidenced by my arriving home in one piece. i don't really like driving at 100km/h for more than about 15 minutes at a time.

my room is very messy again. it was only neat for about a week or two i think. sigh.

am going to try the masterchef pistachio and chocolate macaron recipe when i have some time. :) too bad they don't last for very long.

hope the iMac is actually restorable.

ian got me a new iphone case! :)


sometimes i wish i wasn't so ________.

finally got my polaroid back today. :) but i only have 8 shots left. :( rachel's mother accidentally snapped two instead of one. should ask cheryl to help me bring back some when she goes to the US for her exchange hmm. shipping is too expensive otherwise. :\

had a headache and slept for a while. felt better when i woke up. but i wonder why i've been getting headaches so frequently.

went to ivy's house for nasi lemak! which her mother and auntie cooked. :) yum. and then we watched masterchef haha. her mother was so funny. kept commenting that the angmoh will win because there were no chinese judges. ;p i want to watch the junior one!! and buy the cookbook. ;p also had this cool avocado mocha dessert. a bit too much avocado, but then avocado is good for you.

am still not 100% sure i want to go for gynae OT tomorrow morning. :| i don't like OT. i'd much rather go for clinics. or birth unit. will see when i wake up.. goodnight world.


i've been having a lot of headaches recently. :(


+ baked bread
+ cleaned my vintage suitcase (sort of)
+ dinner
+ skype ♥

the mouseys are so weird. they both climbed out of the cage on their own! that has never happened before. and they both did it within 2 minutes of each other. must be the weetbix i gave them a few days ago haha. ;p half of it is still uneaten. the loaf of bread is getting smaller though.

today a nurse mistook me for a doctor.
"are you the O&G doctor?"
"er, no, med student"
"oh you look like a doctor already"
..everyone who walks around with a stethoscope around their neck looks like a doctor, yes.

"I rescued the moment by using my camera, and in that way I had found how to stop time and hold it." - The Lovely Bones

saw 3 NVDs today! :) and got to come back early too haha. hopefully i'll actually get to catch a baby this wednesday. :)

got caught in the rain. :( but managed to pump cheap petrol haha. my feet are smelly. my head is tired.

so i haven't decided when to go back to singapore yet. but my december will be spent mostly overseas anyway. maybe in bangkok/ phuket and taiwan/ korea. i'd prefer phuket and taiwan. obviously my parents aren't worried about me going to thailand for my elective haha. still haven't gotten all of that stuff settled, but there's time. for now.

i feel like knitting.


when nights were clear, you were the first star that i'd see

so lately i've been thinking about next year and everything that will be happening then. i have a rough plan but i have to wait till friday to find out what i can/ should actually do. sometimes i feel like taking the path of least resistance really.

skyped with ian last night. :) he is still fat. ;p

please let there be babies this morning.


if cold rock doesn't already have kinder bueno as a mix-in, they should.


part of your past.

i suppose one reason why i like the book so much is because it makes it easier for me to place myself in the other person's shoes. i guess that's something that's really difficult to do when you're caught up in the emotion of the moment. take a breath and stop to think. i am really quite an unreasonable person.

didn't go to hospital today.. i intended to go, but got lazy when i woke up haha. i figured it was okay since it's gynae OT and i already saw that yesterday. and also i have more of it next week. i just need it to do my VEs i think.

instead, i slept in and braved the cold to go swimming.. something i haven't done in years i think. so my legs felt like jelly when i got out of the pool. but i felt accomplished haha. ;p

reading and formatting and editing the index case compilation. 2 tutes and 1 birth unit shift till the weekend.

want to watch Despicable Me!

i have a headache that won't go away.


and i wonder if i ever cross your mind
for me it happens all the time


i forgot to mention that my consultant was talking to me about my boyfriend in between caesareans haha. he asked if we had made any promises, then said that usually when people feel that they are ready to get married, they just marry whoever is with them at the time. interesting... haha don't ask how we even got to that topic.

anyway, just so the world knows, i miss him! :( but he always says it's actually a happy thing. :) am thankful for whatsapp and skype. :) and twitter and facebook haha. and plain old phone calls. :)

my legs are too tired to even sit up now, i'm going to lie in bed. goodnight!


patience

today was a pretty good day in terms of getting things signed off in my log book, but terrible for my feet and legs and well, me. i am so tired. :( but i am always tired. i write that i am so tired every day. sigh. i am vitally exhausted. and it's only week 3! okay i think it has nothing to do with the weeks.

3 caesareans, 1 boy and 2 girls! i'm beginning to think all babies come out ugly and start to look cuter once their colour becomes a bit more normal (ie. their head isn't purple and their body isn't white). all babies are described as gorgeous. all sutures are described as beautiful.

also saw 2 hysteroscopies and D&Cs (dilatation and curettage), 1 suction and D&C, and 1 total abdominal hysterectomy. though i left once the uterus was removed. too tired. also got to do 2 internal examinations. which means 3 to go. and 3 NVDs (normal vaginal deliveries). and 5 pap smears. and the OCEs. rawr.

am on gynae OT again tomorrow. which means casual clothes for the rest of the week. :)

i hate how my hands smell of betadine.. i am tired; i have a headache.


your feet are smelly.

so today was actually short because there was nothing happening in the birth unit. except for a 41-weeker with a FDIU (foetal death in utero). which is really sad. growing a baby inside you for 41 weeks! and then it just dies. D:

but there was nothing for me to do. so i hung out in the library and the common room. did most of my index case task and complained to ian. then i just decided to leave at 4+. i figured i could rush back if something did actually happen. pretty much a wasted birth unit shift. :( might have to keep going back on the weekends (which leaves me with a one-day weekend). and i can't do it when the lectures start either. i hope i get all my births by then.

came home and found a post office slip and rushed to the post office to collect the parcel before the post office closed. :)

then i came home again and skyped with ian for a long time. which was kind of a relief. he showed me his venus fly trap. which looks like.. a venus fly trap. cheezels and pistachios! then he went to look at his coffee machine which isn't working properly.

also skyped with my mother for about 20 minutes before that. wanted to see the new kitten daddy found but isaac couldn't find it (and tuna disappeared) so all i got to see was stroppy (isaac's alligator soft toy). and i forgot to ask her stuff. anyway isaac is 46kg. how fat is that! i am 41. hahaha. and daddy isn't buying the 911. :(

i might actually have the confidence to drive in singapore. at maybe 2am haha. though i would have to park inside because i would never be able to parallel park my mother's car (which is really a box on wheels).

forgot to go to theatre to look at the list for tomorrow. :\ should probably go a bit earlier. and i think i will wear jeans haha. ;p since i will be in scrubs the whole day!

i think i have to start doing ebcp again...


kiwi cup

i am so tired. D: good thing the cold woke me up so i was more awake when i drove home. :|

so i was with a 38.4 lady today, she finally gave birth at 6+pm, yay! vacuum delivery though, but she was a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean) anyway. the baby looked really ugly when she came out haha. and she was white. but after a while she started to look cuter. ;p

did a lot of pulses, blood pressures, and temperatures. and feeling for the fundus. and finding people. and holding the CTG thing in place. and getting new blueys every time the old one was soiled (which was literally every few minutes).

the lady was worried about me being there the whole time and not having anything to eat or drink haha. finally got to have dinner (and sit down) at about 8.15pm. had tea but it didn't help to wake me up.. oh and i also managed to avoid getting blood splattered on me today, yay.

it's so nice to see the husbands being so supportive during the labour. then again it's the women doing all the work, ha. the episiotomy looked so painful. :| i don't think i'd have the strength to push a baby out.

met the husband of the lady from saturday and said i'd drop by to visit (i really wanted to see the baby) but didn't have time today.. maybe i'll go in earlier tomorrow to visit hmm. hope it's feeding well now.

and now i am plopped in front of picky not wanting to do anything but sleep. but i have to shower and possibly do the index case task. or maybe that can wait till tomorrow morning, if i can actually wake up early enough.

ian bought a venus flytrap! i have always wanted one haha. i hate flies.


i can't wait for spring.

slept at 9pm and woke up automatically at 3am, after 6 hours of sleep. people in sg were still awake. went back to sleep at 4.30 and woke up at some point between then and 7.30 after a nightmare. well. a really warped dream, anyway. D: though i can see how many of the things sort of in my life in the past week have converged in that one dream..

steph told me after church today: "you don't need to send people home today because you drove so much already today." haha. ;p still have to drive to wcc later.

went to the church office to pick up t-shirts for the ccm counter, then dropped them off at the cambro house. then i came home and did health economics, though i'm not entirely sure i answered the question. which reminds me that i don't think i even finished hsm last semester ugh.

am glad i am on PM shift tomorrow. though the morning seems to be filling up with things i have yet to do and things that need to be done on a weekday during office hours.


i am so tired! would love to just sleep. but i still have bacteria all over me haha.

and no babies. :( and she was a primip so it took forever just to get her from 1.5cm to 4cm and the next VE was scheduled at 7pm and i was like okay byebye. still, at least i got to sign off a CTG. though i'm sure i'll see many of those.

it was nice to have the common room to myself. and i only just found out today that the hot chocolate is always free in ddh. and the tomato soup too haha.

online shopping. :3 but not using my own money muahaha okay i owe you. ;p now i have to desperately wait for my scholarship money to come in! which won't be that soon i think. :| speaking of which, it is a miracle that i am still on a scholarship, really.

okay now i need to get rid of the bacteria and sleep before i collapse. goodnight.


"Miss me?"
"Already."


i find it really interesting that my brother, lois' brother, and jessica's brother are all relatively close now.. and we're not anymore.


where's that shiny car, and did it ever get you far

it comes in waves.

was on time for gynae pre-admission clinic this morning. but it was pretty boring. all i did was listen to hearts and lungs and palpate abdomens. abdomens without babies, i may add. abdomens are only interesting if babies are involved.

rushed off to springvale after that, was a bit late because of the lack of parking, but i still arrived before the clinic started. everyone needed interpreters. and all i did was take blood pressures and palpate abdomens and measure symphysis-fundal heights. one girl was 31 weeks pregnant so i could feel the baby's head! ha, highlight of my day. also i got to come back a bit earlier.

went to uni to attempt to increase my credit card limit, but they said i couldn't. paid my school fees anyway. now i have no more money. :(

HAHA realised that the timing is about right. ;p i am always looking for avenues out.

skyped with ian. :) he managed to make his iMac G4 work! :3 i am so envious. also he cut his hair. but he hasn't gotten rid of the fats yet haha. ;p i like the first moment we see each other on skype. :) can't help but break into a smile. :)

finished reading House Rules a while ago, thought it was really good (as with all jodi picoult books), except that i didn't understand why there was blood all over the bathroom floor? wasn't it a haematoma..?

i am not looking forward to tomorrow. don't like index case/ pbl tutes. :|


finally managed to get myself properly out of bed at about 2pm. went for a shower intending to go to uni, but then it started raining and i'm trapped at home again. no free parking in uni. just as well, i was undecided as to whether or not i could survive the trip there and back.

thought i should have some lunch but wasn't up for rice and chicken, so i'm having some campbells soup instead. it isn't great, i should stick with the cream of mushroom in the future.

now that i'm slightly more alive, perhaps i will be able to do some studying.


contrary to popular belief, i did really want to go to the clinic this morning. and now there are no more free slots, unless i go during workshop fortnight. and this has been going on for too long now.


gritting my teeth

annoying person honking outside. like five million times.

a midwife said yesterday, "This is why I like them (referring to babies). Because I can give them back at the end of the day." ;p

am glad i came home early today. life would have been much more difficult if i'd stayed.

and tomorrow i have to go to berwick. i hope i survive.

hmmm so now my hair is black. black pepper, supposedly. well it's blacker than it's ever been before i think. even blacker than when i was a kid and everyone thought i was japanese. but my hair has been brown ever since i started swimming.

also i think daddy is going to buy his porsche 911 (his dream car since forever). i asked if i could drive it (haha as if) and he said 你就想. mother said he'll drive me around in it. i said he hardly drives me anywhere anyway. then she said i can get married in it haha. anyway it's red and 27 years old. older than his merc, which is my age. ;p

i keep thinking i'm getting low-grade burns.

things i need to do:
- index case thing
- study before tomorrow's clinic with the GP obstetrician
- go to the bank to increase my credit limit
- finally pay my school fees
- decide whether it's safe to go to thailand
- call/visit my ex-GP
- wash and vacuum Skype
- it's mr fong's birthday tomorrow! haha


i suppose the whole thing is not being the centre of the universe.


headache! my head is tired.

and the numbers are confusing me. i don't even know which number i'm sending an sms to.

and i was sad today.

but it was bright and sunny and warmish, and i got to hold a 2-day-old baby (who looked like kevin) and another baby.. i don't know anything about the other baby (not even whether it's a girl or boy). the midwife just handed it to me since i was sitting in the office not doing anything, ha.

i bought black hair dye. though i haven't decided when i'm going to do it yet.

finally managed to find the notice board with the help of reception. so yes, saturday AM birth unit. please let there be some babies!

laundry.

want to read/sleep.


i realised that it's today that feels like yesterday. if that makes sense.

:(

am thankful for charmaine, mavis, and tae, who we spent a bit of the afternoon with. at nineteen squares, though the food wasn't great and the drinks were (only on this occasion) substandard. overstayed our parking thing again but didn't get a ticket, again. i shouldn't make it a habit.

went to the airport and met wanjie and leandra at macs and they gave me a lift to the terminal. parked there for too long again but didn't get a ticket, again. met ravind at the airport too, but didn't talk much because i was worried about the parking ticket, ha. and also just being emo-ish.

talked for a while on the way back but then he decided it probably wasn't safe. got home just as he was flying off.

showered and went to the cambro house for dinner and The Tooth Fairy, which was good ish. they were going to watch Zombieland after that but i have to be at dandenong by 7. and i also have to parallel park, which i really cannot do.. so i have to go even earlier.

picky is so slow now.


10.07.2010

completely, utterly, exhausted.

slept 4.5 hours last night and went to qvm at like 7+ this morning. jam donuts. :)

then it was a very long drive to the brown brothers milawa epicurean centre. seriously. it's nearly at the border of victoria and new south wales! zzz.

because they match their wines to the food, we had a lot of wine. and i am not a wine person. the wine that came with the main course was particularly torturous. but the scallops were so good. and the dessert (quince clafoutis) was so good as well haha. and finally, the moscato was so good. :D am quite happy we had that last. :) to wash away all the other wines.

rested in the car for 1.5 hours in attempt to rid our bodies of the alcohol before driving again. went to some cheese factory place but didn't get anything.

ian drove most of the way back, i don't even know how. i was so tired. :\ saw an accident on the way back. D: a car went over the side of the bridge! so scary. D:

i am too tired to make much sense now.

finally arrived home and had fish for dinner. yuwan's farewell dinner for ian.

he's going back tomorrow. :( :( :( he thinks the present is cool. :D and he broke my spoon bracelet trying to teach me self-defence in anticipation of my PM shifts at dandy. :(


if only my hair wasn't layered. it would be so much easier to get rid of the split ends.

was the only one in the group to be in hospital in jeans today. but then we only had tutes so it was okay. normal birth and breastfeeding, gloving and gowning, index case (which is really just a pbl), gynae and obstetric history and examination.

first day i didn't finish early, ha.

went to glen first because ian wanted to drink bubble tea. wanted to find sushi.. but it was too far away. met sophie and gave her a lift back to wellington. went home to cut my cheesecake.. the base doesn't stick to the cake. :( and it all just falls apart.. but it still tastes nice haha. i'm sticking to my digestives next time.

i am actually not ready for tomorrow to happen.

it's so difficult to speak hope into a seemingly hopeless situation, i've been so conditioned to just say all those things that everyone else says..


reciprocal

spent the morning in the hospital following P around again. same as yesterday, nothing much exciting happening. met joce again haha. P says if you're nice to people you'll get things done. people will like you and do things for you. like the sonographer. K was also nice. and so was J. i just don't like M, ha.

ian picked me up and i came back for lunch. then didn't do anything for most of the afternoon.

had dinner with yuwan and her friend who's visiting from adelaide. then we baked a cheesecake using a different recipe (i hope it turns out okay). i still haven't cut the marshmallows, sigh.

sometimes i really don't understand how people think.


sometimes i hide so i don't have to talk to people.

i've been feeling frustrated lately.. i think it's because i can't really decide what i want to do. and maybe other things.

if people keep giving me those "oh no" looks it might just tip me over the edge and i know they won't know what to do. so please don't. i will be fine.

went to dandy this morning and after some nonsense i went to the right handover meeting and followed the HMO around. all she did was discharge summaries. and she told me she had the most boring day in the world and that i could go home at any time i wanted. so after a few discharge summaries, a very tense distended abdomen (ovarian mass), and a baby check (so cuteee all the babies :D), i left at about 11am. :O so early, i know. i hope it isn't the same tomorrow though. more interesting things maybe..

wanted to have lunch at thai saffron but then when we got there we found out that it was only open from 5-10pm. so we thought maybe we could have lunch at the aunty's shop, but it was closed too. so we ended up at kfc haha. went back to get something, then dropped by mmc to get a book, but couldn't find it in the end. :(

went to chaddy to walk around myer. and jeans shops haha. but mostly myer. and mostly the electronics department. ;p watched bits of Monsters vs. Aliens haha i love Bob. :) "I'll see you tomorrow.. for lunch."

finally, thai saffron for dinner. couldn't finish.. ended up with a lot of leftovers considering thai saffron, kfc, and my packed lunch for today.

haven't cut my marshmallows yet. too tired. gave the mouseys some marshmallow fluff when i made it haha. they ate it and became hyper for a while. ;p i feed them a lot of junk. but they eat most things anyway..

went to return zhi lin her air mattress and sleeping bag, talked until i had to move the car because her neighbour couldn't get out of the driveway. harassed some kittens behind rusden when we got back, made the mother quite angry haha. so unfriendly.

will probably not study properly until next week.


“I need to know it’s just me that’s fallen apart and not the whole universe."
- Just Another Kid, Torey Hayden


i am so tired. and it's only tuesday! ugh.

tae says i should go to bangkok/ pattaya for my elective. i still have no idea what i'm going to do.

went to mmc for o+g orientation today. we were so nerdy we went to watch the Special Deliveries video in the library during the lunch break. the librarian was nice to us.

had dinner at wagamama in chaddy because they have a $12 offer thing. it wasn't too bad..

i want to wear scrubs for births. they would make life a lot easier. don't have to think of what to wear, don't have to iron clothes, don't have to wash the yucky stuff off.

made marshmallows! well. a giant marshmallow. waiting for it to set.. i'm not sure how long it'll take. i hope it doesn't stick. it tasted pretty much like marshmallow.. :)

i would like a holiday, now.


am glad that's over

this morning was a big drama. got up at 5.40am and my milo boiled over in the microwave. ian was still sleeping when i called him so i was late getting to cambro. it was freezing!

zepeng thought wellington rd was princes hwy so we had to make a detour, but then i convinced him that we could take the M1 (i love the M1). got there just past 7am. wandered around the entire hospital but no one knew where we were supposed to be.

finally sat down and found an old email saying it was at 8am at the main reception. -.- then zepeng realised that he's actually doing paeds at mmc instead of womens at dandy! zzz haha. then he rushed off because he was late.

had a very quick orientation, went through the clinics and surgeries and birth units etc, then had a tour of the birth and maternity wards. then we got our lockers ($20 for key deposit, so ex!). but the common room is pretty good though. free hot chocolate and free paper for printing! and 6 computers. ;p

ian picked me up and we went to return the mics. then dropped by the post office to pick stuff up. :) i'm still confused about the present. :\ and not very happy but oh well. no time already haha.

ian wanted to have lunch at one of the holmesglen tafe restaurants, but they aren't open now! because the semester hasn't started yet. so we ended up having lunch at Dozo in camberwell instead. the tempura prawns were pretty good. :) but we are much poorer. but it's okay because when he goes back i am very unlikely to spend so much money on food anymore haha.

walked around camberwell after moving the car. then we went to chaddy for the kmart toy sale (nerf gun) and coles (i want to make marshmallows) and priceline (i am running out of conditioner).

went back to coles after dinner to get vanilla bean ice cream (ian always gets cravings) and corn syrup/ glucose syrup. i hope they're the same thing.

am tired! but am going to shower and hopefully do some studying (gasp) before i fall asleep.


you may say i'm a dreamer
but i'm not the only one

okay so it's sunday night. monday is too soon. :( :(

forgot to set my alarms last night, but thankfully i still managed to get up at 7.16am. macs breakfast with nudie juice. :) it reminded me of studying in the state library. :) miss doing that, it feels like such a long time ago.

came home after church and watched Have You Met the Morgans?, which wasn't as bad as i heard it was. napped after that.. it was meant to be a 15 minute nap, but what do you know. :| too tired i guess.

woke up and ian asked me again to go for his lg thing but i didn't really feel like it. it takes a lot of effort for me to try and fit into a group of people i hardly even know.. i don't even like talking to people, really. sometimes i hide so i don't have to do it.

besides, we were supposed to have dinner at thai saffron. but oh well.

thought about that story that was shared during day 1 of BTF (i think), about a woman who hurt her vocal cords and was told to rest them (as in not talk) for 6 months. so she had to write notes, and at the end of it she found that she had discarded many notes she'd written in anger. so moral of the story, think before you speak.

i tend to write angry blog entries and post them, only to delete them half an hour later. should probably just save them as drafts.

got new Glee songs. :)

school starts tomorrow! we have to be there at 7 zzz so early! :( i have a shoulder ache. and butt ache. and leg ache! all from BTF haha.


BTF is so tiring. but it's over now. which should mean rest, but not really.. i still have to get up early tomorrow and school starts on monday. :( then it'll be neverending for 18 weeks and more! zzz.

i think next time if i have kids and they sing a song like the BTF theme song i will like burst into tears. just saying.

and i think i have eaten enough sandwiches in the last 2 days to last me 2 months. thankfully we had nandos today! i ate so much that one guy commented that i never stopped eating heh. should weigh myself.

keep forgetting to contact my GP. and i still haven't checked out this week's schedule yet. or found out how to drive to dandy..

made mocha (or something like it) for ian this morning. :) and he said it was good! haha. surprising since i didn't know how much of everything to put (i don't drink coffee).

i think the loyalty song is going to be stuck in my head for a while...

i am so tired.


BTF day 1.

tired but fun.. haha. was cold most of the time. and wasting gloves.. and delivering food inside the hall. ;p the skin on my finger is cracked now so i can't do much tomorrow. but then i have to relief assistant team-lead tomorrow morning anyway. scary! kids are scary.

had a lot of banana leftover from afternoon tea.. the overripe bits. so i brought it all home and made banana cake (using a muffin recipe). 3 cakes, one of which i sent to the cc for the guys staying over haha. haven't tried it yet though.

went for sin yee's farewell too. i didn't even know she was leaving until today. :\

and i can't believe school starts on monday. :(

need to sleeeep in order to be alive for tomorrow haha.


you could have run over her if you wanted to

too many fb notifications! haha. will go through them.. eventually.

cheryl and nick got up earlier than me today! hahaha. i managed to drag myself out of bed to send them to the bus loop and pick ian up. had brunch (fried eggs, half an almond croissant, and two krispy kremes) and showered.

then went to notting hill with yuwan and chean ying to pick up our GP assignments. did reasonably okay. :) went to the city and had lunch at mekong. ♥

after lunch we went to richmond to collect dumplings for BTF. the lady was so nice, she gave us an extra carton for free haha. :)

went to ikea and was upset because the step-tables were all sold out again! :( rawr.

passed the dumplings to swee at brandon park and got some groceries as well. went home and made quiche, but it was too watery. :( looked like scrambled eggs haha. don't know where the other quiche recipe is..

started doing the book #4 while we waited. picked cheryl and nick up from huntingdale and ate a bit while they packed.. then we were late so we ate in the car on the way to the airport haha. so now they're gone. :( oh well. it was fun while it lasted. :)

drank milk and ate cherries on the way back. :) and did more of the book #4. sent myself home then ian took the car. cheryl and nick didn't manage to get us to take the money haha.

my abdo hurts again. :(

should sleep because tomorrow is going to be a tiring day...