fawn
27
(doctor!)
singapore/ sunny coast
melbourne! ♥
(would love to bake for a cafe/
?bird & brie)
wallflower
☁
my brother says i am
a cumulonimbus cloud :)

also

joy unspeakable that won’t go away
and just enough strength to live for today
so i never have to worry
what tomorrow will bring
‘cause my faith is on a solid rock
i am counting on God
♡
in dreams and in love
there are no impossibilities.
- jános arany
☼
You make all things
work together for my good.

people

rong; yurong; diana; may;
peiyu; caleb; kevin; daniel; joel;
lois; susanna; june; jane; cheryl;
yuwan; christina; jocelyn;
ivy; mangyik; jasmine; ida; valerie;
jason; joab; shaun; jintat;
jonathan chua; freedy; gary;
iris; sammy; nicky;

love

history

March 2005; April 2005; May 2005; June 2005; July 2005; August 2005; September 2005; October 2005; November 2005; December 2005; January 2006; February 2006; March 2006; April 2006; May 2006; June 2006; July 2006; August 2006; September 2006; October 2006; November 2006; December 2006; January 2007; February 2007; March 2007; April 2007; May 2007; June 2007; July 2007; August 2007; September 2007; October 2007; November 2007; December 2007; January 2008; February 2008; March 2008; April 2008; May 2008; June 2008; July 2008; August 2008; September 2008; October 2008; November 2008; December 2008; January 2009; February 2009; March 2009; April 2009; May 2009; June 2009; July 2009; August 2009; September 2009; October 2009; November 2009; December 2009; January 2010; February 2010; March 2010; April 2010; May 2010; June 2010; July 2010; August 2010; September 2010; October 2010; November 2010; December 2010; January 2011; February 2011; March 2011; April 2011; May 2011; June 2011; July 2011; August 2011; September 2011; October 2011; November 2011; December 2011; January 2012; February 2012; March 2012; April 2012; May 2012; June 2012; July 2012; August 2012; September 2012; October 2012; November 2012; December 2012; January 2013; February 2013; March 2013; April 2013; May 2013; June 2013; July 2013; August 2013; September 2013; October 2013; November 2013; December 2013; January 2014; February 2014; March 2014; April 2014; May 2014; June 2014; July 2014; August 2014; September 2014; October 2014; November 2014; January 2015; February 2015; March 2015; April 2015; May 2015; June 2015; July 2015; August 2015; February 2016; March 2016; April 2016; June 2016; July 2016; August 2016; September 2016; October 2016; November 2016;

credits

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jolt

so the last week of psych is particularly slack since we're doing community psych. i went to the mstt office today to listen to their handover (which was quite interesting because of the way they make such a big deal out of things) and talk to the psych reg for five minutes. after that she went for mental health review board meetings so i went home. zzz.

very tempted to not go in tomorrow and thursday.. though thursday is CATT and that is useful/ interesting. but i guess i'll just go tomorrow to show face haha. and get the thing signed off.. besides, there are three tutes tomorrow.

reminder to self: call GP!

sruti randomly asked me about dianas and 120 film today. :) but i couldn't answer her questions because i don't know how to modify it to take 35mm film and i couldn't remember how much it cost to develop (it's been so long). which reminds me that i still have a couple of frames left in my 120 film.

zepeng came over to "learn how to bake" haha. ended up teaching me pharmacodynamics and traumatizing charcoal. should never take the mice out right after they've eaten. anyway, we get muffins too. :) the leftovers haha.


LSMMTUAFIMC

my box arrived. :) well actually no. it's been sitting in the post office for ages but i only got the final notice slip today! :< but anyway. :)

i'm so happy to finally be able to charge my camera batteries. can take photos again. :) also got old clothes, new clothes (from US), a keychain, a letter, a booklet on cancer, and snow leopard! finished reading the booklet while installing snow leopard (which took forever). there's obviously truth to what the guy wrote but i think he's quite narcissistic ha.

then my mother called to talk about stuff. she finally got an iphone too. and she couldn't remember whether it was black or white haha. daddy wants to get an ipad, whyyy.

i remember one of our tutors pulling his macbook air from his laptop bag haha, i couldn't stop staring. and giving wanjie looks. ;p my mother has agreed to let me get a macbook pro when picky dies. :) haha how bad to be happy when my laptop dies hrmm.

so sweet of wanjie and chris to get upset on my behalf. :) it was only when wanjie brought it up that i realised haha. i guess when the same thing's been happening for years and arguments have gotten you nowhere you develop tolerance. that's something opi's been telling me ever since i was a kid.

my dkny watch broke yesterday. :( but i fixed it. yeay. it'll be fine as long as my wrist does not become so fat that i have to add the other three pieces of.. whatever it's called.

outbid on the luggage. :( i hope that doesn't happen to mine as well, sigh. :\


compassion is stirring
My love overflowing for you
how can I not love you


? easter shimmer (i have no shimmery/ glittery clothes!)
? grampians roadtrip


happy things
+ weddings
+ sydney with fairsians
+ dress up sunday night parties at morton
+ christmas dinners with nine
+ birthday surprises
+ picnics
+ old old photos
+ campfires
+ find a checkered friend
+ put a bunana in your ear
+ merlion walk
+ roadtrips
+ family holidays

:)

my headache is back. i'd say it's all that thinking except i don't think i'm really thinking. more like thoughts racing through my head before i can catch them. i'm obviously going mad.


stumbleupon

(poverty of thought)

sam is back! :) haha okay he was back a while ago but i only saw him today. he'll be back for a long time anyway..

need some retail therapy. i sound like my sister. but really.

my headache is gone. yay. :) i don't know why i always get headaches after naps. :(

skyped with ian. :) 25 days!

i can't wait for this week to be over.


as you lose the argument in a cable car
hanging above as the canyon comes between

bunnings sausage sizzle this morning. beef sausages! two of them. :| but it was quite fun. :) met some really weird people haha. ;p and melvin can sell a fridge to an eskimo. ;p there was also this old man who waited half an hour for us to set up and bbq haha. though he got progressively more grumpy as time went by. ;p

earth hour! the last of the freddo's gelato, one tealight, wax spilled on the floor, and sudoku on my phone. maybe i wasn't meant to use my phone though, hmm.

f e d o r a s;
once in a while it's a good place to hide.

'cause i'm fearful of heights but you take me higher
what came with you was a view to admire
i've always been the kind to contemplate
but you like the kind who don't hesitate


spirals.

private vs. public and why it matters so much? and of course a balance between the two.

clench my teeth to maintain my composure but still it's impossible, sigh. a lot of conflict going on in my head. i suppose it's the way i react.. coupled with "environmental" factors that perpetuate it.

anyway, at the end of the day, i'm reminded:








nineteen squares+

was in hospital by 8am this morning. yawn. it was so cold! handover meeting, then i just basically sat in the room reading random things/ the newspaper/ mcqs. managed to go out with CATT in the late afternoon. saw a patient and got to play with her dogs. :) :) though the bigger one slobbered a bit haha. i love the way they look into your eyes. :) i was reminded of why dogs > cats! ;p haha.

the second patient was adamant that she wasn't a "show pony" and refused to have me in her house. so i sat in the car for an hour, almost died of dehydration and hunger. -.- would have been nice to sleep but it would give a rather bad impression wouldn't it? haha.

as i was sitting in the CATT car (a ford falcon) i was thinking that it felt so big. compared to my tiny little Skype. ;p i wonder what it would feel like to drive a bigger car hmmm.

i want a pet deer.


everyone knows i'm in over my head, over my head

yuwan asks me if i've stopped to think why everyone related to me is weird. eg. herself, ian, my sister. haha. ;p she thinks it's because of me.


skyped again. :) he really is very weird, i know. ;p

i was so excited to tell him my brilliant idea but he wants to wait until he gets here haha. his mother told him to come and cook for me and make sure i eat veg. ;p

wanted to watch A Beautiful Mind but i seem to have deleted it. :( can't find it anywhere, not even on huckleberryfinn (my 1tb ehd). :(

there's a letter coming in the mail.. soon.. i hope. something to look forward to anyway, checking my mailbox has been depressing lately. :|

have to get up earlier tomorrow morning! therefore i will go and sleep.. soon.





lying on the floor

mstt today. we were confused and ended up wasting some time at the ccmhs, but finally got redirected to the right place (upstairs). i know, too many acronyms right?

had nothing to do so we just sat around for a while. then nzimmerman came and asked us to write osce stems and do role plays. depression, ocd, panic disorder. had lunch in the kitchen too. it's the best kitchen i've seen in a hospital/ health service place so far - it has a nespresso machine and an oven. peerls tute, then came home. slackkk.

ian passed his basic theory test! yay! though he has no car to drive. ;p i've realised that if i don't drive for a day i feel weird driving the next..

did mcqs last night, am amazed at myself. ;p hahaha. reminder to self to do hsm and ebcp at some point.

you know that a kid has developed a sense of self when he/she recognises himself/herself in the mirror. i wonder if twins have more of a problem with that.. ;p

hair is too long, want to cut it. maybe not yet though, hmmm.

somebody on tumblr folded 1000 paper cranes for his friend's mother, awww so sweet. :3

skyped with ian! :) which is always nice. especially when it's been a while haha. brought the mice out and char was so cute, she was a bit psychomotor retarded so she just mostly sat in my hand and groomed herself. :) :) and let me pat her haha. sooo cute. ;p

need to do some workkk.


i miss you! ♥

ben & jerry's free cone day tomorrow! :< haha nevermind i'll be contented with my freddo's. ;p

this morning we went to the CCU at moorabbin. i am terrified of driving beside buses. and big things. :x handover meeting, video, patient with schizophrenia.

i had a shutter island flashback. :|

then i drove the psychiatrist to mmc haha! what a weird experience. even weirder than going for community visits with ipresnell. ;p

free zouki lunch before the lecture. :) yum sushi. a lot of food for not a lot of people haha. but the lecture was the most boring thing ever. and i fell asleep twice, so embarrassing haha. i wish i didn't jerk awake whenever i fall asleep. :x at least it wouldn't be that obvious haha.

CBT tute with jhughes. v told us that we'd all passed our case reports! yay. :D hopefully it isn't just pass pass though. :3 they're going to be sent to the alfred before being returned to us.

whatsapp is really slow with my fyi wireless. :<

liver wasn't great. :( i can't cook it properly!

yuwan is really weird. ;p


video killed the radio star

i woke up later today and was still sleepy. how is that possible? i don't understand.

(going to buy liver tomorrow)

praying together; we prayed together. lots of lunch food.

bubble tea. :) went to the city with chyi wei, sin yee, mang yik, remina, melvin, gary, and chun hoong. :) met jj and her bf there too! haha.

international food festival at qvm. i miss that place. i miss the city, actually. had gelato at freddo's! :D though i still have some in my fridge haha. ;p figured out where cs2 was, i miss that place too.

took a bus back to lonsdale street. my first time taking a bus in the city. haha. thai festival at federation square. didn't eat because we were all full from the kebabs/ satays (meat on sticks) and bubble tea. and freddo's. watched a band sing songs from the 80's, quite funny because melvin was the only one who knew all the songs. old! haha.

dinner at petaling street before going home. coming home? i have been procrastinating my hsm. zzz. finally got it done though, yay. the cycle repeats this week (as with every other week). plus ebcp commenting, have to remember.

have (finally) exceeded my data limit. :( good thing i can use wireless at home haha.

on wednesday at chaddy i saw a nice red bag. red! but $80.

i hope my box arrives tomorrow. :3 it's been so longgg. auspost is so slow seriously.

one more month. :D this is what dreams are made of.


th e br e ak (il a un beau sourire)

i feel like i'm on holiday.

there are people i follow without thinking twice, simply by the virtue of the fact that someone i know/ trust is following them. this cannot really be applied in real life.

i dreamt that it was a surprise.

hot air ballooning is so expensive. still want to go though..

yesterday we talked to an inspiring man. he'd done some finance/ business course and had his own business. then he decided that he wanted to be a doctor. he went into nursing first, and he's been working as a nurse for 6 months (?weeks) now. next year he'll start post-grad med. :)

still feeling excessively tired.. got up at 8.30 and had to nap at 3.30. :x there's something wrong with me.

it's starting to get dark earlier.


life.

keeping secrets is apparently very important in the development of sense of self.

i've been exceptionally tired the past week. chai said i might have iron deficiency anaemia. i wondered why i'd never thought of that.. but i'm too lazy to make an appointment to do a blood test. iron supplements, anyone?

at some points i'm really too tired to think much/ form a proper answer. too tired to fight back, so i just leave it be. in some cases there's really no point in arguing anyway.

today in lg we started the alpha course. interesting...

mary called while i was washing the plates/ dishes. :) i looked up and immediately recognised her shadow in the rusden window! haha. :) she is hilarious. ;p

i miss getting things in the mail.


Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.
- Ecclesiastes 12:13


happy birthday daddy! :)


today i was in the hospital for about an hour. the tutor didn't really teach us about personality disorders, he just basically talked about random aspects of it. particularly the history. how BPD didn't use to exist, how histrionic PD used to be called hysterical PD, gender bias etc.

my toenails are a reasonable colour for now. ie. not painted. it's difficult to match my toenail colour with my sandals if they're always some weird colour eg. sky blue. plus i keep having nail problems like onycholysis.

34 days. :)

jonathan chua dabaoed freddo's for me! :D rocher, durian, pistachio. :) perfect for this hot weather. i'm glad it'll cool down over the weekend.

helped chyi wei move the rest of her stuff over to patrick st. zepeng will move this weekend and then the living room will be empty! well. except for ian's stuff haha.

looking through old photos and mourning the loss of my black perforated flats. :( and having epigastric pain. :(


so i did end up taking the morning off. which was spent.. sleeping. i can't even remember when i last got up so late. :x

was really quite disappointed. :( things like that don't really have to happen.

my photos have started falling off the walls again.

last night i sent an email to someone at someplace about doing my elective there. she replied! i am so excited!! :D:D except that i don't know how to write a resume haha. but there's time i think.

okay i have to go to hospital soon.


documented

i'm eating low fat yoghurt haha. whyyy. but i have gained weight! ;p proud to announce.

okay today i felt like a zombie everywhere i went. in the morning during ward round. not so much during lunch. while studying and looking for somewhere to do my elective next year (provided i pass this year). not so much during the mcbt tute. while shopping. and driving home.

came home and collapsed. shopping was so tiring. actually i realised that i was very tired when i got to chaddy. felt like i could fall asleep at any second haha. scary feeling. tried to find tshirts for zepeng but failed. so difficult to find nice (affordable) tshirts nowadays. please just shop on threadless.

was tempted to buy things but resisted. only bought one thing. a dress that i can wear to hospital haha, seriously, my life. okay i bought sawdust for the mice.

speaking of which. i didn't feed them yesterday and today pinky looked starved. she was skinny and weak. D: how scary is that! only one day leh. charcoal, on the other hand, was fine. so i quickly fed them and pinky spent the next few hours eating. she's still eating now.

i am so lazy to go to p block already. anymore. you know what i mean. two more dayyssss just hurry up and go by. i want my holiday.

haha mother put the US pictures on fb. some of the disneyland photos reminded me of the ridiculous performance at the hongkong disneyland where the characters spoke cantonese.

weird to see the same photo on my sister's blog haha. i actually got confused when i first opened it. especially since our skins are both green.

documenting your day after it happens doesn't stop you from living it. documenting it as it happens may do that though.

i am a very skeptical person, i question almost everything. maybe not outrightly (few people will see this), but in my head.

had an interesting conversation with a most unlikely person today.

and i've been wanting to mention this. every weekday morning on the way to the hospital from the carpark, i walk past this house with grape vines making a roof over the car porch. it's netted up so the grapes don't fall everywhere and make a mess i suppose. but there are a lot of grapes.

two doors down, there's this house with a swing that's made of a tyre hanging from a tree branch. it looks so pretty, i've been wanting to capture it on film, but i haven't gotten round to doing it yet. i want to use my normal diana lens. or maybe try out the ae-1 after ian teaches me how to use it. :)

helped chyi wei move a table and wardrobe to her new place.. it seems like my car grows big enough to accomodate whatever it needs to hold, when it needs to hold it. :) very thankful for Skype.

also i think the security guards in the hospital are all Big Friendly Giants. they're all so big sized and have tattoos all over their arms, but they're all really nice and friendly and gentle! it's so funny. ;p

haven't done hsm ugh. but no one in my group has done it haha. so lazy.

my mother is going to have lunch with ian and his mother at some point haha. interestinggg. it's daddy's birthday tomorrow, why do i keep forgetting. :(

no nightmares of Shutter Island last night. though i fell asleep thinking about it and woke up still thinking about it. actually i think it was really good.. although it was incredibly freaky and i was confused all the way till the end and needed christina to be the psychiatrist and explain things. ;p

okay enough of random excessive blogging....

tempted to take tomorrow off.


normal day at hospital. lunch at happy apple and a tute on drugs and alcohol (mainly alcohol).. and motivational interviewing. got to sign off one of the psychotherapy things so i only have one. minor victory on the way home haha. ;p

skyped with ian! :)

went to watch Shutter Island with chris and wanjie. D: SO SCARY I TELL YOU. D: wanjie and i were covering our eyes all the time. chris was as cool as a cucumber. haha. i am traumatised. need some reality testing. zzz.

so hot tonight.

ian stalks me on ebay. from the inside! ha. i hope no one sees the luggage. but nine days is a long time. :\

time to sleep. no nightmares i hope.





"doctors don't rule the universe. there are banks and things."

15th march sounds like a big day. weird.

handed in the assignment. am going to stop thinking about it forever.

was tired today. you could see it on my face. though i don't think i had much reason to be. i didn't sleep that late.

the thing about my (our?) new glasses is that they're difficult to clean when they're dirty. because of the rim. compared to my old glasses, anyway.

daddy asked me to write a letter to lkc to ask for a scholarship. i don't know how to. worthy cause?

cooking 6 portions of food every night is no easy task.

another interesting thing i heard from a patient today:
it isn't so much that i decided to grow a beard.. it was more that i decided not to shave.
(then 2 minutes later)
it isn't so much that i decided not to shave.. it's just that i naturally grow a beard when i don't shave.

we also had a tute by a hilarious guy, which helped keep me awake even though i was sleepy. ;p

ian still refuses to tell me where the last post it is even though i've bugged him for months and months. :<

will attempt to do ebcp and study something tonight.

i want a cat.


woke up with the realization that i'd forgot to put something in the report. hope i haven't forgotten much else. :|

happened to look at old dianaf+ photos. :) kind of miss doing double/ multiple exposures. and i miss the dreamy effect that is much less evident in fisheye shots. so i'm going to switch back to the original lens after i'm done with this roll. :)

time to get ready for schoooool.


secure/

i hate driving to the city. especially on sunday afternoons because queens road is always jammed (like mad) and i always get so sleepy. zzz. but i was too lazy to take the train haha. and walk. sigh. anyway. collected my o&g and paeds textbooks and shoes! yay. :)

today for some reason i was reminded of the time i went cycling at ecp with ruth, emma, and someone else.. i think it was adrielle? all people i don't talk to or see anymore. i don't know why.. it's interesting how old memories randomly surface, isn't it?

was reminded of another rather unpleasant incident. i'd almost forgotten it, it happened such a long time ago.. but still an unpleasant memory. will probably never be forgotten either.

my hair keeps getting tangled. the new herbal essences conditioner is lousy. :< tried ian's old conditioner (it's at least 2 years old) and it works so much better. which is a relief. i was about to go cut my hair or something.

ian's printer is funny. it randomly makes noises, as if to remind me that i haven't turned it off.

late dinner. commented on someone else's hsm post. went through the assignment one last time and printed it. all set! ha. week 7 here we come.


yay done with hsm. actually no. i still have to comment on something.

anyway. was telling ian about Scary Patient and he kept laughing when i was describing him haha. okay i suppose it is quite funny. as long as there's a lot of space (and a few walls) between you and him. heh.

CASE REPORT DUE MONDAY 9AM.

looked at daddy's haiti photos! okay not his. only recognized derrick and huishan haha. was trying to figure out which ones were doctors and which were nurses. ;p most of the haitians seemed to be quite bo chap about them though. :\

nearly forgot to contact aunty michelle.

five and a half weeks to go! :D


i seem to have survived on mainly fluids today. though i also seem to have cooked a lot.

still haven't done hsm and ebcp. G still hasn't replied. have to go through the case report again as well. it does kind of feel like psych is coming to an end, doesn't it.

The Bucket List and Made of Honour. :)

(my day has been largely uneventful and unproductive)

oh there were hot air balloons up yesterday. :) :)

i am staying out of the kitchen until tomorrow.

and finder isn't responding. ugh.

going to attempt to read about P4P now, sigh.


miaow miaow

today we witnessed something quite scary. manic patients can be really scary. i was literally pressing myself into the wall. and when the reg told me to leave the room i gladly ran out. but i guess it was good to have observed it.

i think there are actually a lot of crazy people out there. happily (or unhappily) living their lives because their familes don't rat on them and they keep being crazy until one day something big happens and they're made involuntary. like this man who raped and impregnated his daughters because he thought his blood line was the only one that could survive the impending apocalypse?

would actually really like to see what they said on tv. would be interesting, wouldn't it?

along with drugs that make people self-mutilate.

am annoyed.


lilliputian hallucinations

today was.. nothing much. i don't even know what to blog about anymore. tired. random things happened around the ward.. then we had lunch at zouki (since none of us brought food today) and did questions from wanjie's psych pretest book. christina joined us after a while. then we had a tute on mental health acts, which was.. boring. kept nearly falling asleep. :|

i am still eating.. garlic bread! no joke. there's still some in our fridge. i wonder if it's actually still edible. what i really want to eat though, is peri peri and chicken chips! :< never get the chance to anymore now that we're never on campus. though i could actually still get chicken chips before lg or something. no peri peri though.

everyday i check my mailbox with great anticipation haha. well, every weekday that isn't a public holiday. there's stuff in there about 1/3 of the time i think. my box hasn't arrived yet. think i'll get the stuff that aunty michelle is bringing even earlier than the box. but i can't wait for the box because it has better things in it. :) aunty michelle is bringing textbooks and shoes. the box has clothes and presents. :D and my alice in wonderland dress is coming! okay no. its on its way to ian. :) which means it's coming but not just yet.

OH i met nike and angela in the hospital today! :D:D they've been having lectures here for weeks and they finish tomorrow, but i only saw them today! :<

every afternoon i come back and feel like sleeping. even more so now that i've sent my case report off to G and don't want to touch it or even think about it anymore.

charcoal will sit in my hand and eat and let me pat her head! :) pinky makes weird noises with her mouth sometimes when i take her out. showed aunty cat last night. :) and they pooped everywhere because they'd just eaten haha.


4600+ and sent to the reg. :) i don't want to do it anymore! so sian.

had strawberries for dinner. :3 and then indomie for supper. haha.

yesterday during one of the tutes chai asked why all those druggies in hospital don't get put in jail if it's illegal to take drugs. hmmm. and he wants to ban smoking haha. totally should.

okay time to sleep! will remember to charge my phone. :)


this is your life.

fell asleep before connecting my phone to the power last night, so the battery was completely dead by morning. thankfully i managed to get up to picky's alarm and charged it to 60+% by the time i got to hospital. :) yes i charged it while driving too.

did nothing much for the first hour. then we had ward round. the consultant reviewed two patients, then we had our orientation to the ward.

an interesting exchange between the consultant and a patient:
P: i'm going to go for a holiday the day after next.
C: oh really? i don't think you're well enough at the moment. you're here because you're manic and you need to be treated.
P: i'm not manic. i'm depressed.
C: you're manic.
P: no i'm not depressed. because they took me off my antidepressant medication. so.. i'm not depressed.
C: no you're not. you're manic.
P: i'm not manic.
C: yes you are.
P: no i'm not. oh yes we agreed to disagree. thank you.
-.-

followed chai to his mechanic person, then went to notting hill for a lecture and tute on psychiatric disorders in people with an intellectual disability. the lecture was torturously boring. the tute wasn't too bad. sent wanjie and chris home and came back for lunch! heh. was starving.

i guess tomorrow will be the first normal day of the week. i wish it was friday already. :<

my blog is 5 years old! :3 with 3064 posts haha.

chaddy vip sale next wednesday with moscato! :|

EIGHT.

sleepy.


current word count: 4104. :D:D have half of formulation left. and bits and pieces here and there. heh. too tired to continue now so i'm going to sleeeep. :)

now both pinky and charcoal will happily sit in my hand and eat. :) :) maybe it's cos they're younger. recover more easily from trauma, ha.

skyped. :)

tomorrow is a longer than usual day, ugh. :< 8.30-4! haha. not that long compared to other rotations maybe. zzz.

it takes such a great deal of self-control to not over-think things.


careful.
+ adult inpatient
+ nice reg and intern
+ everyone wants to kill themselves
+ case presentation tutes
+ jack neo scandal!
+ grocery shopping
yeah that's about it.


3 > 2

wish i could make my own clothes so i don't have to spend so much money on them. haha. my sister's helping me transfer money. :) i think by now i owe her money instead of it being the other way around haha. :x

current word count: 3163! yay, progress! i have to do summary diagnosis and formulation. both of which i have only a rough skeleton of. and the last part of management. so lazy to finish it. though i really should finish it soon because G has offered to review it! heh.

picky is being slow. i think i should backup everything again. and give it a break.

want to watch Alice in Wonderland! :3

my room is officially back to being in a mess haha. it's slowly building up.. again.

back to the hospital tomorrow.


RAIN.

today started off nice. woke up early, had breakfast. the sky was blue and it was sunny. :)

now the sky is grey and threatening, looks like the forecasted storms/ showers are coming. it's already started drizzling. hope the post office is open today so yuwan can get stamps for me. :3

going to do PMHx and then take a break haha. zzz. am left with that, summary, multi-axial DSM-IV-TR diagnosis, 3/4 of formulation and 2/3 of management! ahhhh. current word count 2678! eek.

still haven't gotten more bedding for the mice.

going to cook bak kut teh for dinner yay! there's no veg in the house. thankfully though, most of the garlic bread is gone! yay.


pictures from skyping on the pancake day! :) unglam ones haha.



and this was from talking to zepeng this morning. he was going crazy (which is normal for him anyway). and he wanted to finish the entire assignment today. :O


okay back to workkk. 8)


it's weird when someone you know comes up to you and asks "are you a doctor?" because i mean, they know you.. and they know you're not a doctor. so.. why are they asking that? i don't know.

napped for 1.5 hours, woke up for dinner, and i'm still tired now. light-headed. not looking forward to the rainy weather for the next couple of days.. more rain is good for melbourne, but i think they can't handle that much. glad it didn't rain while i was driving though.

remembered to move Skype inside after ling ling smsed me. :)

master procrastinator. really have to get work done tomorrow ugh.

it's raining heavily now.. nice weather to sleep in. :) goodnight!


lose our way, we get back up again

church this morning! was on reception but didn't do much there because i went off to fetch swinburne people haha. and almost crashed into joab's car! sigh. good thing he knows i'm a dodo driver so he stopped haha.

dialogue with God. jeremiah's seemingly useless prayers for judah? desperation.

sent remina to the glen and went to pick ling ling and her mother up. back to the airport! very glad the city was no longer flooded. there was an impatient bus driver behind me. i'd much rather drive to the airport in the middle of the night haha.

came back and had lunch. :| so hungry! then zepeng and chun hoong came over to move chun hoong's stuff, i helped drive his fridge over. ;p so useful having a car.

and i'd totally forgotten (for some unknown reason) that tomorrow is a public holiday! haha. until i heard it on the radio this afternoon. ;p hehe.

last night a bunch of us helped michael set up his drums and he said that was the first time in his life that so many people helped him haha. had dinner at ling ling's house. :) her mother cooked a lot of food! :D yum. and yuwan learnt to play the violin haha. ;p

sleeeeppyyyyy


hailstorm this afternoon! :O it set Skype's alarm off. and the nature strips (patches of grass) were covered with ice, which made it look like it had snowed. :) but yeah, raining cats and dogs and hailing like mad too. glad i was home.

seems like it's causing chaos everywhere, flooding in the city and all train services stopped, collapsed roof in the southern cross station, cracked windscreens.. (got this all from fb!) so scary. from the pictures melbourne looks exactly like those third world countries that get flooded. :O

i hope the water gets drained by tomorrow? :\ i wouldn't drive past the city in the flood. :\

had pancakes with ian this morning! with his porpor too. ;p and then skyped for 5 hours+ haha. ;p though he went to clean the house/ have lunch/ talk to his aunty etc. he's booked his tickets! :D:D:D yay! though it still depends on when he gets his letter.

skyped with the frog for a while too, he's going to the uk/ europe for 7 weeks! :O so long. he's going to travel with kevin before he comes back. :) and he might come to aust

case report. rawr. :< need to finish it soon if i intend to go pipi hunting/ for the great ocean road trip. but i don't know what to write lah grr. still stuck at like 2300 words?! sigh. although at this point too few words is better than too many.


it'll all get better in time
such a lovely day. :) too bad i will be stuck at home doing the case presentation! and then at set up and ling ling's for dinner, i'm not sure in which order.

but i get to have pancakes with ian haha! i hope. :3 haven't skyped in forever heh. and i'm planning to make pumpkin soup! :)

my average number of hours of sleep for the last 27 nights is 5hrs 50mins. -.- pretty good though, considering i was sleeping like a pig during the holidays haha.

this is what we use for our pancakes (though we don't follow it religiously):

1 cup self raising flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 tbsp sugar
1 egg
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup buttermilk
1 1/2 tbsp butter

yum. :)


pink ;p

this morning while reading a patient's file we discovered that someone had written "await r/v by psycho team" haha! the reg went "yep, we are the psycho team!"

okay very random.

had lg dinner and games at the airport lounge because L5 was locked. played a fusion of concentration and the animal game. the last time i played concentration was in primary school?! haha. okay no actually i think it was in sec 2 when we went crazy playing at the playground in ps and playing other games like animal game hmm. fun times. ;p barang barang rattan ball haha. ;p

didn't have sporks at the beginning so we ate using our hands haha. primitive.

went to church after that, for a session with dr paul ang, a guest speaker. was good. :)

came back, washed up etc. wanted to save a muffin for wk but they were all gone! :\ i've owed him one for a while now. oops.

my brother passed his A's, amazing. (no seriously)


friday! yay! the long weekend is here. :) well, almost.

today felt more like how last year felt.. going around getting forms/ files/ drug charts, and finding things out for the reg. but he did teach so it was good.

met matt in the library! haha. he asked me to go for soul surivor again. i said i'd think about it..

tute on somatoform disorders, i was completely lost. :x sigh.

came back and baked chocolate muffins. it's a hot day so something cold would be nicer.. but there's no fridge, and no space in my own fridge... might make jelly anyway once the fridge has been cleared of garlic bread.

didn't get to skype with ian again. :( but i got his letters today! :) so sweet. :)

still feel like i want to sleep...


the human heart is a scary part in fact
'cause i could break you
and you could break me back
though my head says just forget it
you'll get hurt and you'll regret it
ask me now and i won't hesitate

still feeling a bit sleep deprived.. will hopefully get over it tomorrow.

saw interesting patients yesterday. one told a completely different story from her relative, which changed the treatment plan entirely. and another had every possible psychiatric problem you could imagine.

had lunch with the paeds people who were on workshop week. :)

came home after the tute and did stuff for SYTYC (so you think you can). then went to set up etc. jonathan chua commented on why i was always doing registration/ other stuff and never joined in the games haha. did other random stuff like pack prizes and pick the garlic bread up.

mother called me, her friend (isaac's friends' mother) is coming to melbourne soon so she'll help me bring my textbooks and other stuff. :)

came home again and now our fridge is full of garlic bread. seriously full. like there isn't even any light in it because it's all blocked by the mass of garlic bread. okay.

showered and forced myself to do the ebcp thing because there's no time today. at least i can do hsm over the weekend.


went to fetch jj from the airport! had to wait for an hour so we got back at about 3.30am.. so i am zombified today. :x bringing my eye caffeine to hospital with me. and intending to sleep whenever i get a chance haha.

also have to do hsm and ebcp before tonight. :\

can't wait for things to arrive. :)

i put food in my hand and put my hand in the cage, and charcoal happily sat in my hand and ate. :) :) :) and now pinky is also less scared of people. :) recovering from her traumatic incident heh. happy. :)

it would be so nice to be able to go home for the long(ish) weekend. :(


OKAY I AM AWAKE. o.O with mermaid hair! am tempted to just go in pj's haha.
i've been living on half-lunches and up&go breakfasts. yay unhealthiness.

thanks wj for the fries! sorry i was sleeping! :x

it reminded me of our drive back from maryborough, with a soft serve cone and fries from macs on impulse. :)

my camera killed two ikea batteries in like 2 hours last night. hope mother found and packed my battery charger with the stuff she sent. :3


day of threes
+ statutory reviews
+ delirium tute
+ shopping for calvin
+ no updates yet today
+ laundry
+ sleepy (should nap before i have to go out)

$660.81, very tempting. :3 ahhhh. don't you wish money grew on trees.

met bryan at officeworks, he helped me find and carry stuff. :) thank you! bought a weird assortment of things haha, from stickers to a toilet brush? ;p

i feel really tired.


macchiato

yay! happy birthday huey wen! :D zhi lin's tute got cancelled so she went to kidnap huey wen instead. ;p yummy food and hilarious responses during the games, good sharing. :) pretty huey wen, she was dressed up for a wedding haha! ;p

tried the colour flash thing too haha. everyone was so fascinated with my diana mini. it doesn't wind very well though, i really wonder how the photos will turn out. :\

am dehydrated.

ling ling and her mother gave us a united cd and angbaos! :O thank you! :)

i'll burn zepeng a copy of the cd haha since he's been suggesting that i burn him a cd of christian songs. ;p

in desperate need of some exercise. :x and do my case report. there's nothing on tmr night. :) time to get stuff done.

don't want to do any work tonight, going to sleep soon, yay.


march

woke up this morning hearing the doorbell. like who rings the doorbell at 7.20am? anyway, yuwan went out and couldn't get back in because the door locked itself. no seriously it does that. so i went to open the door for her.. and she came back in with a parcel for me! from f21. :O

okay i already blogged about that haha. he must have ordered the stuff the same day i sent him the links. and he spent so much money crazy boy. :) :)

went to hospital and sat in the CL handover meeting. then we went to see two patients (one of which we didn't even see because he was in a negative pressure room in the ICU and the reg was too lazy to gown up to go see him. finished at 10.45! omg so slack.

went to the library, happy to find that we're now able to use the library computers, yay. did case report/ peerls stuff. the tute was good, the tutor had such good insights into my patient. at one point the entire group went ohhh because she'd given us such a revelation haha. was good. :)

home! so early! had lunch and brought Skype for a wash. yay. :) cleanish car.

finally figured out how to use the colour things on the diana+ flash haha.

abdo feels uncomfortable, LIF pain. :(

time to go! :)


woke up this morning and received a package from f21! :O hehe must be from ian. :) though he would have spent so much on the shipping. :\ THANK YOU. ♥


finished my peerls thing! yay! now to not freak out about presenting it haha. this is my social anxiety disorder coming out. though i'm not supposed to be labeling myself with that hmmm.

anyway. i've been using whatsapp so much that my iphone battery is almost completely drained at the end of the day. but i think that's better so when i charge it overnight it isn't so bad for it? i think? does that make sense?

and. because i forgot to write about it. D: i got your letter today! :) the word count has increased! :)

SLEEP! :)


like the sun that rises every day,
You are so faithful, dear Lord You are faithful
like the rain that You bring
and every breath that i breathe
You are so faithful O Lord

wish i had my battery charger here. hope mother is sending it with her parcel. along with the clothes, snow leopard, and ian's book. and money maybe. haha.

had dinner at petaling street at the glen to celebrate chun hoong's lunar birthday haha. :) yummy lou xu fun. :) talked about random things like the chilean earthquake and people going to lake's entrance to see the 10cm rise in sea level, med stuff, good-looking guys and girls, the waiter (HAHA).. ;p had green tea and red bean cake. what a weird combination! haha.

need to find my motivation to run again. :x it's been a week! sigh.

autumn is here. so fast eh.


have a break, have a kitkat

CL was really boring today. so i ended up doing random things. do we not have access to the library computers anymore?

it's actually quite a busy week, the last saturday till this friday. something happening almost every day of the week.

i want a bathroom with small light blue tiles on the walls.

wednesday is coming, ian's going to find out when he's going in. and finally get to decide when he'll come over, but there's probably been a significant change to the plans in the last few days. i don't know. scary. :\

coldddd.


skyped with sebas and kevin, made my night. :) :) even though we're in uk/ singapore/ melbourne, it makes the world seem a little bit smaller. :)

i still don't know how to do a formulation properly. will wait for chai's case presentation tmr i suppose. so sian to start CL tomorrow...

butterflies fly away.


and i don't know how i could do without

adium is being weird. the other day it was firefox. maybe picky really is dying.

dragged myself up early this morning to go to church. it's nice when people set up the ohp for me because it never works properly when i do it. haha. i like doing ohp though.. went to brandon park with sophie to get bottled water before the service started.

puppet show with larry. ivy gave me cooking chocolate! haha. passed calvin his mail and sophie her textbooks. found more people who thought the khaki jacket guy reminded them of ian (shaun actually thought he was ian i think). so many people are back. :) well of course, since uni starts tomorrow for the rest of the world.

pumped petrol. i don't like how Skype's petrol meter thing is so vague. oh well. napped to get rid of the headache. then went to clayton to get food. had dinner at huey wen's place to celebrate chap gor mei! which i never knew existed.

my family has never been big on celebrating cny i think. the previous year was ah tai's wake, and last year was an extended family prayer meeting thing for opi, where daddy actually gave a sermon and altar call haha. don't know if anything happened this year, but my family was in US anyway.

anyway. good dinner, though the only chinese food was wantons. and rice haha. celebrated sharon's birthday too. :) and chun hoong brought bak kwa from glen, though it looked like san cha and didn't really taste like bak kwa haha. we didn't follow the tradition of the girls writing their names and numbers on mandarin oranges and throwing them into the river for the guys to pick up. hahaha ;p that would've been fun. ;p

just now when my mother called me i asked her "is someone watching Bee Movie?" because i heard the beatles' song haha. sure enough, they were in the car and my brother was watching Bee Movie. note that he's been watching the same movie every day since we went to kl at the beginning of the year. even ian and i can memorise parts of it from our trip there and back.

tsunamis everywhere.

and it's freezing, i hate it. end of february, end of summer, sigh.

it's been one month since i left singapore. doesn't feel like it. everything takes its toll.

guess i'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.