fawn
27
(doctor!)
singapore/ sunny coast
melbourne! ♥
(would love to bake for a cafe/
?bird & brie)
wallflower
☁
my brother says i am
a cumulonimbus cloud :)

also

joy unspeakable that won’t go away
and just enough strength to live for today
so i never have to worry
what tomorrow will bring
‘cause my faith is on a solid rock
i am counting on God
♡
in dreams and in love
there are no impossibilities.
- jános arany
☼
You make all things
work together for my good.

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day #4 - monopoly and gale forces

played monopoly from 12mn until about 3+, rotated players as we each went to shower haha. then played a bit of dutch blitz and bluff, then everyone went to sleep at about 4.30. and rong and i slept at about 5. yurong keeps stealing my comforter haha.

got up at 9ish, everyone was finally up and ready and we left at like 11.45am. haha. walk to bus loop, bus to huntingdale, train to malvern (dodgy path ;p), tram to st kilda. got fish and chips and went to sit on the grass for a picnic lunch. so much food! and fruits too. when we were done eating we threw the remaining fries to the seagulls haha. there was one that kept going "whee whee!" and it was lousy at catching fries haha.

walked along the beach, took photos, admired the blue sky, then walked to the pier where yuwan found a penguin. :D kept almost getting blown off the road on the way. haha. quite scary.

it was too late by then to go to the national gallery of victoria. but diana wanted to go to JB hi-fi, so we took the tram to the city. walked around a bit, then met grace and her mum and auntie and went to lygon for dinner at il gambero's or something like that with yurong's friend lynette and diana's friend evelyn. grace's mum's treat. :)

after that we went to melbourne central and had hot chocolate and a belgium waffle at max brenner's. :p then took the train back. quite funny, we were all trying to find a free today's mX paper so we could check the answers to the quizzes we did last night. the first carriage we were in didn't have any. so at the next stop we got out and ran to the next carriage. ;p and found a paper and pored over it. almost all correct lah. ;p diana taught me how to play sudoku haha.

huddle like penguins! it was cold today.

walked home and started packing. hurr. oh ian dropped my adapter off at the letterbox. :) hmm. waiting for everyone to finish showering so we can do laundry. haha. am tired! so i came up with this "grand plan" to not sleep tonight (so there is no chance of waking up late), go to sydney, check into g'day and then sleep the rest of thursday so we wouldn't be so tired the next day. haha. yurong said i make them sound so terrible.

"cannot wake up one lor"
"always sleeping in public transport"
"always so hungry"

;p but i am quite worried that they won't be able to get up in time for the dandenong shuttle tomorrow morning. 7.15am! haha. because this morning i was screaming at them to wake up (okay not really screaming), then diana opened her eyes, stared at me, then pulled the blanket up over her head. haha. she said i have to yank the blanket away from her. ;p and her alarm tone very irritating. ;p haha.

yay i get to meet kevin tomorrow! :D hopefully at least. haha. yay sydney! x) yurong says she'll miss my room. ;p


what will it take.




day #3 - grey skies and brunswick

yurong is upset that rong said the best part of the trip was buying her ring. haha (she said to blog this).

anyway. went to campus centre in the morning to get a lightscribe dvd, super glue, a metcard and food. had porridge, cheecheongfun, glutinous rice and soy fried noodles at grain express, then went to the city.

victoria market. it's been a while. got some fruits haha. cherries, lychees, apples, pears, oranges.. then walked around being touristy again haha. ate a bit then went to brunswick.

there are lots of cool shops there! haha. got random things like badges and rubber bands and records and laser discs and casette tapes and rings and clothes. rong bought plates haha. then we went to smith street for a while.

then back to the city for dinner at dessert house. :) then to coles and then home.

nuahed a bit while they calculated how much they've spent (which is a lot a lot haha). then baked oreo cheesecake. :D haha. hope it turns out okay. we didn't really have enough oreo.


i'm learning. it's so hard! but i'm learning. helps to have people around to vent to haha. and say things like "yeah right" to remind me that i still care. hmm actually i wonder if that's a good thing. dunno what council for the concerned haha. change lightbulb! where is frog.

ivy says i'm going astray.. haha. i missed th tonight. :(


eeks tomorrow isn't sunny anymore. but anyway. it's our last day in melbourne! have to pack for sydney soon. x) and then i will be outta here. yay. needed a break anyway.


day #2 - the daydreamers.

wanjie came over to visit this morning! :D

everyone woke up late. haha. we were supposed to leave at 10 but in the end we left at 12+ i think. went to hargrave to drop off my adapter first, then to campus centre to get 5x daily metcards and food. 630 to huntingdale and train to south yarra. oh. the walk took twice as long because they had to stop every ten steps to take photos. so touristy! haha. but who could blame them. ;p

chapel st! haha. shopped/ window-shopped, took photos etc. boost juice. :) we went to take photos in the passport photo machine thing haha. so squeezy, six of us, but at least a bit of each of us was in it. haha. except for daisy who was in the middle.

when the shops started closing we took the tram to the city and had dinner at mekong. :D yay i love mekong. and i've come to the conclusion that they don't have egg yolk anymore.. :( but nevermind. i got to eat liver, which is good because it will raise my blood ferritin levels haha. had gelato at trampoline (passionfruit, white choc & raspberry, chocolate and hazelnut roche), then came home.

it was raining! yurong and i were the hoodies. the others shared umbrellas haha. my shoes are falling apart.

oh! they found isaac's lost bag haha. anticipated, actually. thank You. :) so i have to collect it on thursday (and bring it to sydney and back). but i don't mind (although it's a ben 10 bag) because my old river island shoes are in there. haha.

hmm. so anyway we came home and baked muffins. ;p with chocolate chips, one banana, and half of the batch had a blob of nutella in the middle. :D

ohh. met jean marc, jason, nike and edward in uni. :) and i met ivan (from taylors/ toab) in the city! haha. so cool. ;p

okay tired. sleep!


hello yurong rawks :)


day #1 - monster toes


keith was v nice to send me to clayton and then back to rusden! :) went to chaddy today after church. met adrian and daniel and marcella there. daniel is jeremy's housemate in brisbane! jeremy as in chs jeremy. and he's coming this weds too. haha. maybe can meet up sometime.

anyway. so they're here yes. ;p we bought food home to cook! haha. photos in rong's camera, i'll put them up when i get them. then grace came over after dinner and after everyone had showered (with enough hot water!), then we talked until like 2am. haha. nice easy conversation. :) plus a lot about what we should do, especially tomorrow.

oh yes. rong painted my toenails highlighter orange. :O my feet look like monsters. haha.

been missing the frog, so i smsed him last night. haha. and he came online tonight but didn't have time to talk also. hmph. oh well nevermind next time! i still can't change the lightbulb hmm.

and aunty pansy asked me to be an assistant team leader for btf! heh. during the part of the service between worship and the sermon, when i hadn't gone back to sit down yet. finally i told her okay.

anyway. i think it's impossible to get rid of a feeling until it's been replaced by some other feeling.

smile!
tomorrow will be a good day. :)
(plus i got favourited! ;p)


I DID IT AGAIN TODAY.
rawr i have to stop, really.
desensitize, please...


anyway. pictures of food!

firstly. red mee sua made with angzhao brought from malaysia! (and there's some more :D)
the whole batch of thursday night exam muffins. ;p and cupcakes.
went to pancake parlour at the glen for dinner tonight because two sad people were left home alone ha. food was nice. :)

some fish. butter fried! :) and okay the green stuff wasn't that bad either.
and dessert. too much cinnamon i think. but other than that, nicee! :)
last night while eating ipoh sar hor fun i missed opi's authentic prawn noodles. gah. and wishbone banana icecream. and geylang bahru duck rice which i haven't eaten in years! ): haha.


from rong's blog:
twenty four hours before our flight and all the moms of the fairfield aussielanders start getting separation anxiety.

haha quite funny. the family left today and it wasn't a huge thing.. but then i've been here 2 and a half years. that's normal i suppose.


i used to spend my saturdays in the city;

my maid and my aunty's maid in sg (they're sisters) went back to indo for a holiday and my maid didn't come back! she was kidnapped by her husband, who took her and their kid and disappeared one night. :O so there's going to be a big problem when they get home.. why does this always happen.

anyway. so they should be flying back now.. hmm. went to essendon dfo in the morning, spent almost $200 haha and i'm quite satisfied with my buys so i think i won't splurge on the jacket. ;p hopefully whatever i have now will be warm enough.

after shopping they drove me to essendon railway station and we had lunch somewhere around there. then they drove off to the airport and i took the train to the city. haha. bought random things and went home. am tired! have to go and cook broccoli and carrots. haha. okay after inspecting my buys haha.

SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW. :D


you fasten my seatbelt because it's the law.

after cbp (which ended 1 hour 15 mins late), had lunch with the family at nando's in melbourne central. :) then walked around for like half an hour before they decided to go to qvm before it closed. i went to shop instead.. haha. found nice jackets in esprit. and i'm considering splurging. ;p i got my birthday money from opi in advance lah. ;p

met nichowski (okay i can't remember his name. but it's something like that), a taylors guy. haha. always randomly meet him around uni. and then met jon chua also. ;p

"who are you shopping with?" (cheeky grin)
"not my enemy."

went to qvm to meet them because i wanted to get sawdust and food for my potential mice. haha. and jam donuts! :D then waited for daddy to get the new (rental) car. traralgon, the mpv we used during rural week last year haha.

on the way home isaac realised that he'd left his lego mask in the first rental car. so we called them and then drove all the way back to the city.. and yes we got it back. haha.

"put it in your pocket. and zip it up. now."
"okaaay." (rushes to do it)
"cannot take it out until you reach home in singapore."
"HUHHH. but mummy's going to wash this (his pants) tomorrow leh. then she will wash the mask also lah."

i still maintain that he's too fat. haha. okay random. but so true.

hmm. went to burwood to get a heater (and some other stuff. i got a book yessss!) from kmart and groceries from coles. then had dinner at some chinese place at syndal. then came home.

had our own mini cg haha. then showered, talked etc. most of the muffins and cupcakes disappeared. haha. and uncle kelvin and aunty eliada came.

going to essendon dfo tomorrow! :) SHOPPING YAY. gloves and beanie and jacket and warm clothes. :)



haha. i set my alarm for tomorrow instead! so i woke up late. by like half an hour, which wasn't too bad. asked my mum to drive me to the bus loop so i don't have to walk and i have an extra 15 minutes. but i am freaking out again! haha. scary. okay i need to go.


how does she know that you love her.

okay, exam's over! happy because that means no more studying. it also means family, friends, shopping, being touristy, baking, sleeping.. ahh. x) oh. and not so happy because theme 2 SAQs were terrible, and so were the theme 3 ones... last year's theme 1 ones were so much better. sigh. okay no more comments.

BUT YES.
point being, it's OVER. :)
yay!

and i met loyi at caulfield today haha. we walked past him when we were going to the side to pray, then he called me. quite nice talking to him again. haha. still the same as 2 years ago. ;p but their pharmaco is quite scary. i told him our pharmaco was like only 5%. ;p but yes, it's always nice to see old friends again.

and it was freezing towards the end of the paper because it rained. haha.

so. lin mo dropped us off at ivy's place, then we went for dinner at sofia's. :) then back home, to transform the living room into a bedroom for the family. okay except for my sister, who's sleeping in my room. she'll have to wake up at like 5.30am with my half an hour of itunes haha. yes that's how long i take to drag myself out of bed these days. last night i had a look at my eyebags and could see veins around the sides of my eyes. omg.

love the smell of baking banana muffins. ;p (and ivy complains that she hasn't gotten any haha)

it'll be nice to leave the house when the stars are out again tomorrow morning. :) (i have to tell myself this because.. yeah everyone doesn't have cbp anymore. okay they haven't been having cbp for quite a while now. hrmm. haha but it's okay. it's quite fun. ;p

i am tired! ha. last few batches/ trays.. :)

jiayou year 1s who have exam tomorrow! :) and everyone else who still has papers. JIAYOU.

goodnight. :)


five hours. haha. i'm taking a break from reading the wall. and we're going to do gerry's anat quiz in a while. 100+ questions? haha. lunch and then off to caulfield. then back home and then to sofia's for dinner.

thank you juggie and ting! ;p


thirteen hours. :)
goodnight!


i will never be their equivalent.

sixteen hours to go. sixteen!

my brain feels like it's trying to spew out information and nothing is going in anymore. gah.

i don't want to eat the bird's nest. probably ever. haha. precious presents aren't really meant to be eaten.. okay they are. it was given with that intention. but how can i just eat it! it will be gone forever.

rah f21 is SO TEMPTING. why is it so expensive to ship! :( if it wasn't that ex i wouldn't even have to think about it.

lin mo is fetching us to caulfield race course tomorrow! haha. have to check seat number. can't wait for it to be over! although i am really afraid that i'll have to go see elaine. :\

thank you ivy and joab for cooking for us again! :) and thank you rachel for your intention to give us food too! ;p

how to write happy stories! i want to learn how to write happy stories again.


EXAM TOMORROW;

haha i forgot my source so i suppose i can't put the picture up.

anyway. i have to cover supply systems of the neck, thorax anat, pharmacology, complementary and alternative medicine, knowledge management, health promotion, ecg, neurology, acid base balance, and also a ton of physion/ patho/ immunology that i have studied but cannot remember. haha.

oh yes. and i was quite pleasantly surprised late last night and this morning. :) yay!


goodnight.

the vastness of the amount of stuff i don't know/ can't remember is quite overwhelming at the moment. :(

anyway. so they went to mt dandenong today, and fed the birds! haha. one shitted on daddy. ;p my mum has a new asus laptop, we think it's lousy. haha. well it refused to connect to FYI. showed them tommy. ;p and daddy was amazed that we are learning bits of everything (he was reading a bit of the other wall).

my siblings each left a mark on the wall. "the hippo's called marc. with a C." isaac is 36kg. :O omg stop eating!

my mum wants me to eat muesli bars. my siblings are each eating one a day (like that is a reason at all). but they contain preservative 202. haha. but so do a lot of other things. she also got weird herbal things for cramps. which i am not looking forward to taking. and somehow managed to smuggle in bird's nest from opi. :D the customs people opened up the wrong bag HAHA. lousy can. OH. she also brought ANGZHAO (red wine). well not exactly red wine.. the thing to make red mee sua with. xD *swoons*

hmm what else. a lot of random things for the house. food and cleaning stuff. air fresheners. haha. another air mattress, notebooks, pen refills, clothes, ian's stuff, CRS tshirts.. i'm quite fascinated by the mouse cage. :D can't wait to have mice in there. haha.

they're going to mt baw baw tomorrow, not to ski though because they think there won't be enough good snow.

1.5 more days, and i cannot wait for it to be over.


haha this is quite funny:

and this as well:

yuwan: do you want to like heat it up first?
me: hmm no need lah. later when i open then the whole library smell like the food.
yuwan: HUH. never go and heat up ah?
me: no never. we just eat it like that lah.
yuwan: HUH. how can like that! so you all never like even get up ah?
me: no lah sit there the whole day.
yuwan: like that never get DVT ah?

hahaha. ;p


and it feels weird that the family is here on holiday, and i'm sort of with them, but i'm not on holiday.. hmm. quite seriously, i feel like my "studying" has turned from studying to reading, and i'm just trying to fill up the last 2 days with words from the lecture notes or textbook. :(

sigh.

alright. off to lunch (and hopefully some good fiction), and then back to baby moore's and netter's (not to mention wikipedia)!


old photos, sigh. :(


and having thought about all that, to decide whether or not it actually makes a difference in the long run, because it's never stopped me running back before.

so they're here! :D

what did i do to prepare for their arrival? do the laundry and clear most of the room. ;p haha. and hide the bionicle and put tommy's head back into the box on the lower shelf.

haha. dropped off a (locked) bag of food and the mouse cage, then the kids and their luggage, then they have to go back to the city because the boot wasn't properly closed and isaac's bag fell out. :\ i hope they find it.

and they plan to go to phillip island tomorrow. haha. we were just discussing how there's nothing to do at phillip island (unless you're there for convention). go to st kilda to see the penguins lah. ;p

i'm supposed to study! but i am sick of it. and i cannot find my upper airways regions notes. :(






RAAHHHHH.


and she never looks back.

busy day! well. not really.

prayer, church, kitchen, btf letter drop, ministry expo, chaddy (country road sale and trampoline), bus loop, home, dinner, half a walk in the winter night.

I LIKE THE GUYS HOODY. haha. how come cr guys clothes are so much nicer than girls! (not to mention actually wearable..)

oh oh oh! jas and chris got engaged! :D:D:D haha. so niceeee. everyone's all, contented sighs.. (haha. okay maybe not quite so contented..) but yay! :D another wedding to attend!

and the family's arriving tomorrow night!

i'm feeling how i always feel on sunday nights - have to do work tomorrow. :(

WALLFLOWER;

lessons to learn, and promises to keep.


an excerpt from Fling.


He opens his palm and takes one last look at the pendant, its chain spread out over his palm. They’re smiling at the camera, twinkle in their eyes, faces as bright as can be, without a care in the world.

And hurls it into the sea.

He resists the urge to dive in after it.









it's been quite a day.

love this photo by the way. haha. i keep stealing photos off the web.

so after giving up on mugging i grabbed the opportunity to walk home when the rain became a drizzle. but when i got to the tennis courts, it started pouring. like mad. haha. and walking home in the rain would've been quite a welcome experience, except that people don't usually do that while wearing flipflops in winter. haha. oh well. it wasn't too bad anyway. so my scraggly hair was plastered to my head, and my jeans soaked (surprisingly only) to the ankles by the time i got home.

i'd been filmsg-hopping (http://community.livejournal.com/filmsg/) in the library before going home so i had an urge to snap shots when i got home but.. no. i left the film in the freezer! haha. so i had to content myself with the digicam. haha. relatively dissatisfying.

tingting came over and i started deep frying the chicken night chicken. stank up the whole house, but i do love it. ;p haha. lester picked us up and sent us to wellington to practise our song.




practised quite a few times, then everyone else started arriving. finally got to talk to nike a bit, after an age. :) haha and she had some interesting news. ;p

aunty pansy says i need to find a girlfriend.. or girlfriends. haha. you know what she means. girl friends.

so dinner was uneventful, the med cg stuck together, mostly, so that when amy asked us to gather into our cgs for the game, i wondered if this was a time ivy would be proud of us for our unity. ;p hahaha. anyway from the game we found out that we know very little about aunty pansy.

then it was clayton 4's turn. quite nervous singing the song haha. people forgot lyrics.. but it was sung from the heart. :) don't know if it was loud enough but it was loud enough for her at least. and she cried. ah. i think i've been listening/ singing the song too much so i don't think about the meaning as much now.

sharing, prayer, and then pack up and people started shooing us out of the house. rosie sent us back. :) zhilin has a new car! haha.

don't know how to get to set up tomorrow, but it's our turn.

came back and washed stuff and talked to yuwan for quite a while. haha.


i am strong, when i am on Your shoulders;


brain block and i'm wondering if i should just go home now that it's stopped raining. i can't concentrate on studying when there's cooking to be done! haha. this goes toward my ambition of being a 50% housewife. what about the 30% doctor! rahh.

the breakdown is really confusing i think i should study anatomy (another bane of my life). !! and km which is like "how to search medline" and "where is information stored" is like 10%! hello! it's a stupid topic to be testing us on! test more cardio and haemato! they're easier than respi and renal. ): 10% and 15% respectively. ): hur. 4.5 more study days! okay 5 including now.

okay i'm just going a bit mad, restless and preoccupied. i want to go out there. okay i don't really know what i want to do.


everybody around me, and not me
heh
ty ty v much
and how you convinced me to dance in the rain;
haha for?
everybody around me, and not me
being cheery
much appreciated
and how you convinced me to dance in the rain;
haha
cant be emo all the time ;p
bad for health
everybody around me, and not me
yeah thats what i try to tell you



friday the thirteenth!

haha. got up almost on time, marinated chicken, printed lyrics, showered while yuwan cooked again, packed up, went to campus centre, delivered lunch to iris kaiwen and eugene, supposed to be studying now. haha.

was talking to keith about watching prince caspian-

and how you convinced me to dance in the rain;
haha
i dont like cute guys ;p
KrazyChiken
heheh
then u will like me
:P
hahahahah

hahaha.

the family's flying to sydney today!

okay byebye study! hope the exam's going well. am looking forward to tonight too. ;p maybe i'll clean my room after that haha.


walk beside the pony, daddy, it's my first ride
i know the cake looks funny, daddy, but i sure tried

i almost got blown away by the wind walking home tonight. and i noticed that they'd removed the fallen tree i had to skirt on my way past the gravel carpark this morning. that's probably one of the most efficient things i've ever seen done here. haha.

studied renal today. physio and patho. have to do pharmaco and then i'm done with that. but it's like i'm supposed to have covered practically all of physio and patho, and i still feel like i don't know anything. :\ grrs. so i have anatomy, knowledge management, theme 4, and pharmaco left. i think. and lots of little bits in between i couldn't wrap my mind around at the time.

haha almost jumped out of my skin when i read that, but i was careful not to reply immediately. like i read the other day, two cannot quarrel if one will not.

yuwan says drink honey tonight so tomorrow our voices will be sweet. ;p

i told celine that i wanted to cook chicken night chicken tomorrow but i was too lazy to deep fry. she said i should bring my marinated chicken to joab's house and she can deep fry it for me. ;p

the internet in hargrave died sometime in the afternoon, and not being able to wiki everything made life a bit more difficult. but i managed to get through patho. and cleared my desktop haha. ;p and got home at about 8.

kevin's melbsyd trip totally clashes with our holiday plans. :( as in i won't even be able to see him at all. how terrible is that, considering how rare it is that a friend actually comes over. bleah. he says he'll convince his girl friends to wait at the airport so we can meet for at least a bit. ;p maybe we can go earlier too eh. *nudges rong* haha. but i still don't know what time his plane touches down, i think he doesn't know either. ;p


we have a breakdown!
Micro/Path/Immunology - 15%
Physiology - 10%
Pharmacology - 5%
Anatomy - 15%
CVS/Haem - 5%
Resp - 10%
Head +Neck - 10%
Renal - 15%
Theme 2 - 10%


we don't talk much anymore.


there's a storm raging outside. it's a comfort to be home, or home here, at least. with the heater on, bed waiting to be jumped into, great weather to sleeeep. ;p bet it'll be freezing tomorrow.






FINISHED CLI.
WHEE. xD





butterfly kisses;

how do you stay strong on the outside when you are crumbling on the inside, teetering dangerously close to breaking point, with this strange energy you cannot channel towards the notes.. and i shall stop there.

i know the theory. somebody please teach me how to put it into practice. please.

i like walking home alone sometimes.

on a side note, i think such people are few and far between these days, which is sad, even for stubborn people like myself.

yeah i studied acid-base balance today. and started on renal. made it through the daaaay. thanks to people who tried to make me feel better. :) thank youuu. ah and also for cleaning picky again. :)

ting finished her exams so she made nice things like egg tarts and chocolate-custard-peach tarts and some eggy thing for us. :D so sweeet of her. x)

cli! haha. it's become a regular drill. i have two more nights to finish it up.


:( :| :\ :S


we're looking up at the same night sky
and keep pretending the sun will not rise

today was quite an atypical day haha. (a typical day = wake up, shower, go to hargrave, study/ eat/ sleep/ talk, go home when the stars are out)

this morning when i left the house the stars were still out. :D so cool lah haha. but cold. and being smart i decided to wear capris! in winter! and totally froze the whole day haha. oh well. 7.02am bus to huntingdale, 7.14am train to the city loop, was at wesley before 8am.

the four of us were so nervous! haha. as expected. quite funny. press the 'ready' button and wait for a call to come through.. i was the third to get a call. and both my calls were quite tough i think. 40 and 30 mins. tiring too. i can't contain! :\ met some other nice supervisors. ;p who were really helpful. don't know what i would've done without them. debriefed and wished the next group the best and then left.

went to get the film developed! then felt like visiting taylors since it was a weekday. i wasn't sure if they were having midterm break yet but i decided to try anyway. reception wouldn't let me go upstairs so they called mrs richards (my bio teacher) down for me. haha. she couldn't remember me at first. but by the end of the 30 min conversation she could remember things like where syahir and i used to sit in her class, and how we used to compete and i would usually get one mark less than him. ;p it was nice seeing her again. haha. she said next time i'm in the city i can email her and we can go out for coffee. haha. with ll i'll probably be going to the city a lot. but having coffee would be a bit weird hmm.

had lunch and people-watched, got stuff from riot, then went to the state library. today was nostalgia day haha. lots of memories from taylors and statelib. rawr.

couldn't study much, got a headache. slept a bit. listened to the song over and over again.. haha. read a bit of the max lucado book i bought last year but never got round to reading.

then went to collect the photos. haha. waste of film lehhh. :\ oh well. learn from mistakes yeah. haha. went back to uni, hargrave for a bit and then home. jasmin and sarah were still around from study buddy in the afternoon. dumped stuff and then joab picked us up for touching heaven.

:)

lester sent us back, went to shell first to pump petrol, zepeng yuwan and i were singing the entire time, and also trying to decide who should sing what. haha quite funny. then we met aunty pansy there haha. zepeng: "it's a sign!" we still haven't come to a conclusion. haha.

came home and had dinner and i've been slacking since. :O need to finish cli.. grumbles. i'm less than halfway done. sigh. must xia ding jue xin to finish it either tonight or tomorrow ah. if not on thursday night i'll be dying. hurhur. and also must resolve to not hate respi. haha. and acid-base balance! because i have to finish it by tomorrow. :\

and i've decided that the best time to bathe is early in the morning so no one would have showered just before you, so the water won't run cold on you. like it did last night. and i almost died in the shower. imagine showering with cold water in winter. omg. haha.

i have to stop doing some of the things i do, they aren't doing me any good.

ivyong don't complain i made purple muffins (well sort of purple) for you already! ;p hahaha.





from odb today:




the words are thinning,
and i say goodbye.

muggathon.

i went into a panic midway through today. probably because i started respi and realised that there is so much i don't know and/or understand. then it suddenly occurred to me that there might be more anat to study than i thought. and then i have to finish cli too. not to mention pharmaco. and cranial nerves. and knowledge management. do you think i can finish cli by tonight. rawr.

jason dropped by. zepeng (ziping haha) thinks yuwan and i aren't stressed. evidently, he doesn't read my blog. haha that's probably a good thing, i don't need everyone knowing what an emo momo i am.

yuwan made lunch and dinner for me today. :) and she gave me lunch to pass to ian and two other random people. iris and kaiwen were there so they were the two. :)

have to leave the house at like 6.35am tomorrow! :O to reach the city at like 7.40 omg. okay i should not be advertising this to the world. like i said. it's really cool but also really scary. it would be less scary if there weren't so many TCs there listening to every word you say on the phones. hmm. i hope i'm prepared.

must remember to bring the film tomorrow. and maybe leftover-dinner lunch. and stuff to study after that, either in the state lib or hargrave. i quite miss studying in the state lib though. but actually if that means i have to squeeze home with the after-office-hours crowd or after-high-school crowd i'd rather go back first. haha. but i guess it all boils down to the film. because i definitely need it back before the next time i have to go to the city.

okay really need to make the phone calls tomorrow.



hmm this is taking quite a bit of self-control. and i don't know how long it'll lastttt. it's difficult, as is natural, and i don't expect it to go away immediately, but i do know what it means for me.

SHRUG.
i can't do anything anymore.


i hate respi. ):


just look up on a sunny day
we share the same sun in the same sky

i was complaining to yuwan about not having anything to do yesterday afternoon, so she suggested that i bake. haha. for people having exams. walked to pinewood and back, then baked 3.5 trays of muffins (43 altogether). then yuwan and i went to deliver them to morton, dennis, bettina, arnott and wellington, and rusden and the halls. haha quite fun. ;p except that after walking 3.5 hours yesterday and carrying groceries back from pinewood i can feel the ache in my legs and shoulders.

the song is more or less finalised, and it's so nice! haha. sam and zhilin and zhini came over for dinner last night and to record the song etc. i still want a twin. ;p

met steph and ting on the way to the library this morning (after i managed to drag myself off the bed at 8 and out of the house at 9.15). hmm there isn't a compiled exam timetable this semester.

STUDY PEOPLE.
ting is bringing dessert on weds! ;p


today i gave away one of the most precious things i have ever owned.
more than a year ago i gave away what was most precious, but that can't ever be fully redeemed.
i'm trying very hard to let go of something i'm not supposed to be holding on to.



haha was just looking through old notebooks, and i think i need a new random notebook! haha. haven't been doodling/ writing much lately. and they're always interesting to look back at. ;p


in a castle made with sand;

..and my day was made by DADDY, who called me for the first time in what must've been more than a month. :D:D:D haha.

and a crs update on myanmar:
the recce team flew in this morning and will be back in sg on the 11th!

from the email:
Please pray for them to have a smooth trip back and also for their travel within the country, as they plan to visit the delta area during this trip. Please also pray for them to have wisdom as they will meet up with potential working partners to look into how CRS can be involved in providing relief in Myanmar, and to confirm the details of our relief work with them.


state library! ah. i miss studying there. when studying was easy haha. i've concluded that one of the reasons i can't study at home is because there is no space on my table. haha. i'm supposed to be cleaning my room tomorrow (again), but i'm thinking of sleeping. ;p

and rawr my threadless secret was discovered. haha. oh well. that isn't all bad. ;p


hope to carry on?

anyway. so we went to mordialloc beach for celine's and jean marc's baptism this morning. :D the sky was grey and the sea was grey but it was a happy thing anyway! ;p haha.

went home after that and had nonsense lunch and then went to hargrave for about 4 hours. hmm. studyyy! have to find a way to not limit my study time to library opening hours. thankfully though, it's open most of the day on weekdays.

on another note. i wish i had a community card (or that someone close enough does) so i can borrow the tenth circle and not limit my fiction reading to breaks between classes (which are now non-existent since classes are non-existent). i wish john medley was a regular use-student-id-to-borrow-books library. oh well. grumbles.

should i just do cli tonight haha.


i want the option of being able to switch to the n6100 again.

silences. abrupt. abstruse.

it isn't that difficult really, to make someone's day.


you'll never shine if you don't glow

:)

there are times when i feel so debilitated and just feel like keeling over and. you know. not do anything because it's too tiring and difficult and the driving force just isn't there. like the times at night i just lean against the wall in front of my heater for like 15 mins at once not doing anything because i can't bring myself to.

hmm someone other than ****** has expressed concern over me doing too many other things and not having enough time to study. this is interesting. i am actually not too stressed at the moment (except maybe whether or not i will be able to write 1500 words for cli). haha i wonder when the next wave will come.

anyway, we learnt about spiritual gifts today. did the test thing. i think my results aren't very accurate because of all the 'undecided's. hmm. i don't know. ministry expo next sunday though.

christina and ivy think i should go get my insides checked. hmm. haha maybe it'll be worth it. considering like 360++ more times of that.. haha. people who have seen me in that state know the torment. oh! also because i burnt my heat pack and have yet to find a replacement. :( it died a more tragic death than my first ever one. but that one was sadder cos it was heart shaped. haha. have to make a trip to qvm then! either that or ask army if she has one left over from hongkong. ;p i so need a holiday haha.

tomorrow is celine's and jean marc's big day! :D :D yaay.

okay i've decided that i need two things to be able to study productively:
1. hargrave andrew library
2. a study buddy!

i was quite amazed when yuwan tested me haemato that day (after a full day of haemato in the library) and i could actually remember stuff. :O haha. wonder if i can still remember them now. ;p or better yet, in 2 weeks' time! haha.

if i was stranded on a deserted island, what is the one thing would i want?
a friend.

sam and daniel are the other two friends and they'll play basketball with zepeng and have cg at chunhoong's house, use joab's helicopter to buy groceries, borrow all the girls' GPS' (or zhini's iphone) and escape either by the helicopter or liz's boat. haha.


when i am weak, You are strong. :)


so it's the last day of sem3 and i attended only 2/3 of my classes. (kaiwen says that's $140 down the drain) shall go make mars bars slices and try and destress.


cinderella;

hmm soooo. osce's over. haha the disaster that it was. okay it wasn't all bad. the examiners were nice and encouraging, expecially the cpr one. i didn't have to do 5 cycles. ;p yeah and it was over in like half an hour anyway.

studied! a bit. slept a bit. ate a bit. thought a bit. tried listening to music using my steth haha.

walked to ivy's house where jocelyn quizzed yuwan christina and i using EMQs from some book. christina knew all the answers haha. then we went to korean house for dinner. :) then home for shepherding.

the state my room is in, no one should ever be allowed to see. haha.

celine and jean marc are getting baptised this saturday at mordialloc beach. :D imagine how cold it'll be! and sunday there's btf letter drop after church.

tomorrow's the last day of med2031. :) the 14 weeks just flew past.. but i am dreading tomorrow because it's like a normal school day - 4 hours of lecture (none of which are on blackboard) and 2 hours of pcl, which is quite a bad disruption to the studying momentum.

i forgot to arrange for the other homework phone call with angela. hmm maybe i can not do it. i cancelled my 24th june shift anyway. and slotted in a few for july before uni starts again.

i got green apple cooler today, i think with the right jellies too. :) although the one from dover is fifty times nicer. but yes i do appreciate the thought. yeah and i tried to be a bit nicer. it's a start.


and this is from today's odb:

all of You is more than enough for all of me.

it is quite exciting that we have completed the first stage of our training. ;p so we'll be moving to stage 2 this coming week, supervised shifts! haha. either 2 or 3, then we'll be closely supervised for 3 months and then we'll be regulars. ;p cool.

our archeologist hp tutor came just as we were about to be released (at 2.30) and talked to us for 45 minutes about non-existent complaints about our placement, the study of the life story of a teaspoon etc.

wanted to take 900 from caulfield to sleep and avoid the horrendous b.o. of the swarms of high school boys. but then i decided it was a waste of time. went to hargrave but was too tired to study so i went around distributing cupcakes, then went home.

had dinner with yuwan. :) and cupcakes! haha. jonyong said we're supposed to exchange our food in an attempt to even out our bmi. the blood donation guy's reply when i turned him down was "oh it's okay, you'd probably faint if you did." -.-

oh btw sydney accomodation's been booked. :) just that the lousy people didn't reply the email hurr. i will call the ski people either tomorrow or the day after okay. ;p depending on hmm how osce goes. haha. okay most probably friday because i think i'll procrastinate. haha the things i don't like doing.

yuwan just reminded me about cli. :O haha it's due next friday.. grr. okay hopefully i can write 1500 words on sunday night. about how what we learn isn't actually what people do in practice. hmm.

jiayou studying everyone, especially those with papers tomorrow and the day after. osce included haha.


'cause all too soon
the clock will strike midnight
and she'll be gone.

walked to hargrave in the fog, read through a bit of stuff, went for haemo tute (which was really good i think), got stuff in campus centre (including periperi ;p), turned down a redcross guy who was asking for blood donations, went to chaddy, went home, wrapped present, baked purplish banana strawberry muffins.

the surprise wasn't much of a surprise but it was still fun anyway. ;p haha.

thanks wanjie and later ivy for coming to my rescue. :) and actually, also zhilin for making it easier to finally come back out.

i just realised the cake is still sitting on my bedside table haha. new graffiti on the wall. :D

after everyone left wanjie and christina helped us clean up the house. then we went through the osce. chunhoong was there too. revised some year1 stuff. and baked cupcakes for ll lunch tomorrow. am the only person having cbp tomorrow. ): haha. oh well.. last training already. after this - no more role plays yessss. ;p anyway. then they left at about 12.30.

should i go mug tomorrow after cbp. haha. wonder if i can take it. i'm falling asleep now already.. but i guess i could sleep in the bus tomorrow. hmm. study osce! all the systems reviews. :\ i am tired.

hello. let's take a break, shall we.


so if nothing else
i'll just hold on while you drift away

should i let myself sleep in tomorrow morning. :\ but there is no time! rawr.

called yurong rong diana and may to discuss the itinerary for melbourne haha. i'll leave the sydney bit to them because i think if i try to do that one too i will just collapse and die. and like kh would say, go into spasms on the floor.

okay i'm just really tired. and i didn't get to finish haematology tonight. :( and i didn't get to read up for the osce either. oh well. it's only formative. but it is kind of irritating that exams are right before all the good things happen and in studying for the exam and prepping for the good things.. hmm.

shall do everything else tomorrow. it will be a busy day.

haven't read about the micronutrient thing crap. ): ah i am too tiredddd. ): will read it tomorrow, promise.

where are you. ):

i wish a lot of things, and i miss a lot of things too. i wonder what happened.


happy birthday ivy ong! :D
haha i don't dare msg her in case she's asleep. ;p








this is the introduction to the book Encourage me, by charles r. swindoll.

Encourage me.

Maybe you haven't said it out loud in recent days. But chances are you have shaped the words in the silent hallways of your soul.

Encourage me. Please.

Maybe you haven't stopped anyone on the street and said that precise phrase. But if someone who cared enough looked close enough... they would see the words written in your frowning face, drooping shoulders, pleading eyes. They would hear the words echo in your unguarded comments and unsuppressed sighs.

If the truth were known, you are craving some encouragement. Looking for it. Longing for it. And probably grieving because you've found it in such short supply.

Am I right? Is that where you've been lately? Hibernating in the den of discouragement? Licking your wounds under some heavy, dark clouds that won't blow away? Thinking seriously about quitting the human race?

If so, you are undoubtedly running shy on reinforcement and affirmation these days. You are beginning to wonder not when relief is coming, but if it will ever come, right? Even though you may not feel like reading anything, I really believe these pages will help. I am writing with people like you in mind... people who have begun to question their own words and to doubt their own worth. People who feel riveted to the valley where the sun seldom shines and others seldom care.

That's you, isn't it?

That's also me more often than you might guess. The long shadows of discouragement have often stretched across my path. Those times have been bittersweet - bitter at first, sweet later on. So I do understand. I do not write out of sterile theory but out of reality. My pen has been dipped in a deep well. The ink has been dark and often cold. At such times I have struggled with a lack of self worth... a common battle waged in the valley.

Please let me slip in at this moment one significant truth: You are still valuable. You count. Yes, you. The "you" inside your skin who has your personality and your appearance. No matter what finally led you to where you are today, you're the one I'd like to talk to for awhile. Even though you feel necessary to no one and noticed by none, I'd still appreciate having a few words with you. Yes, even if you are dirty and guilty.

I have only one goal in mind: to encourage you.

You have become acquainted with disappointments, broken dreams and disillusionment. Crisis seems to be your closest companion. Like a ten-pound sledge, your heartache has been pounding you dangerously near desperation. Unless I miss my guess, negativsim and cynicism have crept in. You see little hope around the corner. As one wag put it, ' The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train." You are nodding in agreement, but probably not smiling. Life has become terribly unfunny.

Tired, stumbling, beaten, discouraged friend, take heart! The Lord God can and will lift you up. No pit is so deep that He is not deeper still. No valley so dark that the light of His truth cannot penetrate. In His own inscrutable way, He will use the insight of these few pages to bring back that one ingredient that has spilled out of your life. Encouragement.

If you miss it and need it and want it, read on. And oh - and if you find it, by all means spread it!

Someone close by may be ready to give up the search.

so i will dance with cinderella
while she is here in my arms

slept the afternoon away, literally, four hours! it was good, uninterrupted, and very much needed. :) especially today. although it means i will have to do it one of the next few days, but i guess it's better than trying today. haha.

i should really eat dinner, lunch wasn't much either but i was thankful for the hot drink. :)

anto's photos of ruth and phil's wedding are so good. :O
http://www.letscaptureit.com/album-pr/

wow jean's sister draws v v well.

cinderella
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5LteQgBIMA


study buddy.
btf drama props/ prep.
church lunch.
shepherding.
clean up.
dinner.
study.


ask me what i need most right now, and i'd probably give you the wrong answer.