fawn
27
(doctor!)
singapore/ sunny coast
melbourne! ♥
(would love to bake for a cafe/
?bird & brie)
wallflower
☁
my brother says i am
a cumulonimbus cloud :)

also

joy unspeakable that won’t go away
and just enough strength to live for today
so i never have to worry
what tomorrow will bring
‘cause my faith is on a solid rock
i am counting on God
♡
in dreams and in love
there are no impossibilities.
- jános arany
☼
You make all things
work together for my good.

people

rong; yurong; diana; may;
peiyu; caleb; kevin; daniel; joel;
lois; susanna; june; jane; cheryl;
yuwan; christina; jocelyn;
ivy; mangyik; jasmine; ida; valerie;
jason; joab; shaun; jintat;
jonathan chua; freedy; gary;
iris; sammy; nicky;

love

history

March 2005; April 2005; May 2005; June 2005; July 2005; August 2005; September 2005; October 2005; November 2005; December 2005; January 2006; February 2006; March 2006; April 2006; May 2006; June 2006; July 2006; August 2006; September 2006; October 2006; November 2006; December 2006; January 2007; February 2007; March 2007; April 2007; May 2007; June 2007; July 2007; August 2007; September 2007; October 2007; November 2007; December 2007; January 2008; February 2008; March 2008; April 2008; May 2008; June 2008; July 2008; August 2008; September 2008; October 2008; November 2008; December 2008; January 2009; February 2009; March 2009; April 2009; May 2009; June 2009; July 2009; August 2009; September 2009; October 2009; November 2009; December 2009; January 2010; February 2010; March 2010; April 2010; May 2010; June 2010; July 2010; August 2010; September 2010; October 2010; November 2010; December 2010; January 2011; February 2011; March 2011; April 2011; May 2011; June 2011; July 2011; August 2011; September 2011; October 2011; November 2011; December 2011; January 2012; February 2012; March 2012; April 2012; May 2012; June 2012; July 2012; August 2012; September 2012; October 2012; November 2012; December 2012; January 2013; February 2013; March 2013; April 2013; May 2013; June 2013; July 2013; August 2013; September 2013; October 2013; November 2013; December 2013; January 2014; February 2014; March 2014; April 2014; May 2014; June 2014; July 2014; August 2014; September 2014; October 2014; November 2014; January 2015; February 2015; March 2015; April 2015; May 2015; June 2015; July 2015; August 2015; February 2016; March 2016; April 2016; June 2016; July 2016; August 2016; September 2016; October 2016; November 2016;

credits

Hosts: blogger; photobucket
Layout: /strawberrying

"the chicken very noisy," says my brother.

hee they have arrived! :D yay. it's always nice to receive stuff in the mail.

haha and mr fong emailed. he said he was thinking about some of his students and he thought of me. he asked if i still remember him. of course lah. haha. makes me want to go back to sa to visit.

had dinner at cedele at wheelock. the food was quite nice, although of course i didn't finish the veg. shaobin says popcorn was named aptly - popcorn chicken! rah.

and sebas wants to get a guinea pig. ?! on a whim. i bet he'll neglect it lor. and it will end up like his 27 hamsters. or his pot basil. he still has my plc card haha. since j1.

fmss has half day tomorrow to celebrate the best O level results since 1992 (and we thought we were the ones who set the entry score at 253 haha), so i'm going to follow my sister to make her IC, then go to swensens for lunch. :)


the ups and the downs, and you still didn't leave
i guess that you saw what nobody could see


meet the latest edition to my family: popcorn! :D
popcorn was hatched in a lab, supposedly yesterday, although it's a bit hard to believe, he's so yellow and fluffy. he was forgotten, left behind, and so he was given to us. he's never seen his mum before, he thinks we're his mum.

i wanted to name my next pet popcorn, and i think isaac heard from army, and he decided to name it popcorn too. haha.

he's the most adorable thing i've ever seen. even though he's a chicken. haha. when you let him run around the house he'll just hang around you. when you walk away you can be sure that within 2 seconds he'll be centimetres from your foot. i've walked around my entire living room with him trailing after me, without even looking under any of the furniture. and he never stops chirping. although sometimes it sounds more like squeaking. and he's getting quite good at picking ants off the floor. ;p

like i said, the excitement over cute little things triumphs over emoness any day. today is one of those. it's sad that i'm not going to see him grow into a chicken though.

heh some of the things i'm willing to say now amaze me, when i look back at all the things i would never have said or admitted a year ago. because then issues wouldn't have to be stared at in the face. because then it would be less confrontational, or rather, non-confrontational. because it would be easier, in the short term.

even now, months after i decided i'd make a conscious effort to talk about important things so that at least part of my world wouldn't crumble, i wonder if i will someday regret the things i've said.

don't worry, i exaggerate.

excessive quoting is probably, well, excessive, but i like her writing.

Every second, another streak of silver glows; parentheses, exclamation points, commas - a whole grammar made of light, for words too hard to speak.
- Brian, My Sister's Keeper (Jodi Picoult)


this suddenly looks very attractive. !!
i'm being influenced by my sister (who is in love with red).
plus i never quite got over the fact that my brother stepped on mine.
haha. oh no.
should i should i?
heh but i am broke, so i guess not.
:(

actually come to think of it i haven't seen my siblings (except isaac) since sunday. mornings and afternoons they're in school and evenings and nights i'm out. although i don't really know what mark is doing besides waiting for results. of the JAE, i mean.

alex asked me this morning while i was still sleeping: results out today??
haha. apparently not.


reread old stories which took too long to load. i remember being intrigued by the stranger who wrote them. that hasn't changed. but i realised that i hardly know anything before day zero, and all those words still hold as much (or little) meaning as they did then. everything i wanted to know, but didn't dare to ask about.





-theSmaN【UGN】☻RAAAHHHH says:
AIYO
-theSmaN【UGN】☻RAAAHHHH says:
U ARE SO SEBAS NOW
threads of reason and regret; says:
hahahha
threads of reason and regret; says:
okay lah tmr i ask him and see how
-theSmaN【UGN】☻RAAAHHHH says:
oh and we've proven that you can just walk away unnoticed, if you're not part of the exclusive group. like you don't even exist. HELLO. i don't like you. like, really.
threads of reason and regret; says:
hahaha
-theSmaN【UGN】☻RAAAHHHH says:
times 10 to the power of 2
-theSmaN【UGN】☻RAAAHHHH says:
[censored quote]
-theSmaN【UGN】☻RAAAHHHH says:
lol
threads of reason and regret; says:
hahahhaa
threads of reason and regret; says:
eeyer very mean lor
threads of reason and regret; says:
YOU ARE THE SEBAS


and you realise you're not the only one questioning.

slacked another day away.. this morning army said to me: "you can start packing already, we don't have much time left." i just blinked at her. and replied okay after about ten seconds. :\

anyway. to the better part of today. :)

this was about 3/4 of dinner. haha. it was nice! ;p


and pre-dep was pretty good too. it was like a reunion for my batch of meddies! :p so many of them turned up. think i've missed seeing them every weekday, and some weekends too. and there are a lot a lot of new first years. it was fun talking to people, old and new.

one girl said she hoped she wouldn't dye all her clothes pink by accident while doing laundry. in a way i'm kind of looking forward to doing my own laundry again. my clothes might be crumpley and unironed, but at least they smell nice and don't come back stained or with a hole somewhere.

oh and we've proven that you can just walk away unnoticed, if you're not part of the exclusive group. like you don't even exist. HELLO. i don't like you. like, really.

have to collate the names..

i think it's important to be able to put down and let go and start giving, even when you feel that at that moment you need to receive too. need to learn to do that.

sometimes i don't know what to say. so i just try to smile. sometimes. sometimes i wish i didn't have to try.


Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.
- Julia, My Sister's Keeper (Jodi Picoult)


ohh. the things i felt but never really showed.

:)

took 184/151 to nus, the journey was so short. like walking to uni in melb haha. and the people are so scary. waiting outside the LT half an hour before lecture! eeks.

saw marj but thought it wasn't her cos she looked so different. but then it turned out to be her! hahaha. and xiex was there too. :p

the lect was not bad. the lecturer quite funny, like weird funny. haha. and it was about classical conditioning and operant conditioning, something we learnt in the ken jones series of human behaviour lects. except not that in depth. although i do know a bit from sam haha. when the lecturer showed us a video of the baby albert experiment, he said "you all should become psychologists. because you all laugh when you see this poor kid being tortured." haha. but the experiment was really quite evil.

after the lect (which ended early), yurong walked me to the science fac, where i met kevin at the bus stop. thank you! ;p

took 95 to holland v and met caleb who was waiting outside cjlmxlb. then peiyu came, and we decided to eat what we always eat when we go to holland v. or most of the time, at least. cjlmxlb! :D rong came after a while.
the green thing they're eating - gan bian (smth smth) si ji (smth smth)
sauteed long beans with minced pork. or something like that haha. i actually ate quite a few. kevin has the evidence. ;p
peiyu and kevin (and rong and i too, actually), laughing like mad because many many people have told kevin that suharto passed away. "as if it's related to me like that."

[edit]
i quote kevin:
it just happens that suharto died on the same day. and everyone (im not exaggerating...) has to ask me whether i go back indo to mourn for him. like hello/!?! if he's related to me then i would have my own p0sh condo and lexus here lah.
hahahaha.
caleb was being sad and crying and saying "how can you all be like that when someone died.." or something like that.
i got some of my money back from the christmas dinner.. ;p it was also around 140, reminded me of operation other bikini. haha.
we went to haagen dazs for dessert because cjlmxlb didn't have mango pudding anymore. :( we were served by rong's friend haha.

and! before that! we went to the 2am dessert bar first. and while we were still downstairs this group of girls started waving frantically at us from upstairs! the glass was dark so we couldn't see who they were. then we went up to look at the menu etc but decided not to eat there. and when we went down they waved again! and pointed at caleb and made a heart shape! hahaha we were laughing like mad. then kevin was very high and he jumped away haha. (kevin: if you google this you will find me haha.)

anyway, at hd. :) peiyu's bling bling raincoat haha.
rong looks v white. hahaha.
swiss sunrise! it was quite nice. love the macadamia nut and summerberry smth. sbc? it was nice anyway. :)

and kevin and i both got tees that say "emo." haha. rong got the frootloops and diet pepsi one. then everyone went home, rong walked me to the bus stop. :)

tomorrow - shopping and pre-dep. modanyaki! :D and hopefully read a bit more and not sleep so much. like a pig, ugh.


e l e v e n d a y s

spent a lot of time sleeping today. feel like a zombie, probably because i got up at the wrong part of a sleep cycle.. :\

tag reply:
wanjie;
it's okay! this thurs? :p okay i better msg you.

rong;
i want to go and eat again alsooo. and yes okay i want directions to dempsey! ;p ehh you 3rd cannot ah.

christina;
nope, i don't know her. sorry.. :\

diana, yurong;
okay! ;p haha but only 3 of us leh there will hardly be any food. i ask rongress later. ;p night swimming would be nice too haha.

going to go to nus to chope seat for yurong soon haha. i'm still zombified so i'm wondering how much of the lect i'll be able to take in.. and it's 2 hours, i hope i don't fall asleep. ;p and then after that i'm abandoning her to have dinner with peiyu rong and kevin at hv! :p hee. haven't seen peiyu in forever.

according to the kl students, results are due tomorrow.. according to cmhse, results are due on 7 feb. wonder which it will be.

i think it's early to declare a major in your second semester. but then again, what do i know, i only get to declare my major after graduating and working. ;p

how many muji's are there in singapore, and where are they?


turn it up
it's five minutes to midnight
you're coming home with me tonight

was falling asleep in church today. :\ must be the lack of sleep over the past few days.. need to sleep more. tonight. ;p

dandelion river island! :)

had lunch at ikea (my third time there in three days), then went to queensway where mark got new shoes and i got fbts. and ate a bit of the katong spoon laksa. haha. it rained like mad.

then we went to westmall so mark could get his new phone (N82). as you can see, the whole day was a celebration for him. not that i mind haha. it was more or less a usual sunday, except for the phone.

came back and learnt things. but i can't remember much about my childhood actually.

and i still don't know.

had dinner at the green market and went to btp for banana icecream at wishbone. :)

haha yesterday i found out that i missed a chance to go to dempsey before. :( so rawr you know.

monday - yurong's psych lect 6-8pm, dinner with peiyu after :)
tuesday - pre-departure briefing 7.30-10.30pm
wednesday -
thursday - cg?
friday - dempsey date! :)

haha i'm very free. going to watch movies/ shows/ tv and read tomorrow before making my way to meet yurong. i don't know how to get there haha. but rong just gave me instructions! good thing she knows nus better than orchard. ;p

oversized ;)





today was a good day too. :) mostly.

dragged myself out of bed at like 6.30am and met sebas at queensway macs at about 8.45 haha. he got up before being called, i was amazed. seriously. ;p i told him not to be late, then he said: "don't worry, i'm not caleb. or kevin. or PEIYU." haha. ;p after breakfast we went to anchorpoint to waste time before ikea opened. then went to ikea so he could get stuff and get scolded by his dad. ;p

harbour, vivo, sentosa. :) there was intermittent sun, which was nice. and it rained once, which was also alright. was at tanjong beach most of the time, there were so many kids playing games. kids as in like post-O's kids i think. haha.

went to the pearl too. :) it was cold. very cold. but fun. :) then went to ps to watch 27 dresses. it's an alright show haha. not fantastic but not un-nice either. kept thinking the kevin guy looked like alex karev. ;p walked around a bit and had dinner near the tauhuay place, then took 171 home.

my face is itching, it feels like it's been burnt. :\

alexandra hospital is having a blood donation drive on 31st jan! rawr. :( don't understand why it's been difficult to gain weight this time. oh and i have inherited a bolster! :D for which i am immensely grateful. miss my bolster pillow in melb. :\

heh it was good to vent. although i think it reached the point of bitching. :\ talked about exclusivity and invisibility. how, if i am pushed any further, i will probably end up just running away. i think that in order for leaders to connect with the people they're leading, it's important to not be exclusive while among them. perhaps some of the things i've said aren't fair and can't be compared with what i'm familiar with, because of the vastly different circumstances. but still, after all that, i console myself that there are only two weeks left. which is sad, considering there are so many reasons why i would love to stay longer.


the words that would mend the things that were broken

today was a good day! :)

met huiru and xieai for lunch at ikea. piece by piece (fish&chips) and chicken wings. plus a nice lady gave us a free soft drink cup cos her son didn't want it. :)

oh on the way to the 61 bus stop a mini fire engine drove past me and one guy smiled and waved at me. xieai said that he thought i was a little kid haha. ;p

after lunch we went to raffles city. walked through funan and compared which was prettier, a mac or a vaio. ;p had ben&jerry's! :D strawberry cheesecake, chocolate chip cookie dough, and of course, chunky monkey! :D


then we had a very vanilla latte, chai tea latte (which tastes really weird), and classic hot chocolate at gloria jean's, $2 for every regular hot drink during cappy hour. ;p
and huiru did a bit of her composing homework. then we started complaining about valentine's day etc. haha. i remember making the polymer clay hearts with xieai for v'day in 2005. :p so long ago!
then we went shopping. haha. couldn't resist and got the top i was looking at yesterday. haha. then we went home. the bus ride took forever and i fell asleep multiple times.


photos from the sleepover! :)

sebas has weird free gift cups. ;p wheat grass! so reminiscent of j1 days in the cafe. ;p and it may be green but it actually tastes not bad. haha.
mr lion sleeping in sebas' bed. he was given to him by the 32-year-old woman he's dating. hahaha.
note the piglet mat on the platform. his dad wanted him to sit on that haha. ;D he wanted to give it to peiyu but she didn't come..
and they were mahjonging most of the time.
kevin was trying to look nerdy. while he memorised conversion tables (which are crazy).
rong pretended the lion took her photo haha. so weird. ;p
and this was kevin's sunrise. but of course he was still sleeping when i went out to take this. ;p forgot to take a photo of the lone plant on the balcony haha. sebas wanted to put it right in the middle. ;p

i leave in two weeks! rah. :( too soon.

but at least i'm going to get to go out with huiru and xieai again! :D we're supposed to go to dempsey. which someone said was a good place to paktor haha but since we don't have that privilege, we will go on our own date. next friday! :)

and maybe breakfast with frog tomorrow morning and sentosa and 27 dresses! :D ah post-exam life is so good. sadly it isn't going to last long.. while waiting for the bus just now i was thinking what it would be like to live like this every day. without school or anything. it would probably get boring after a while.


hard to believe it, it's not over tonight
just give me one more chance to make it right
i may not make it through the night
i won't go home without you


turn it into something beautiful;

finally got to start my sister's keeper, which i've been wanting to read since forever. :)

walked a lot today. and played with paper clay. which reminded me that real clay is so much nicer haha.

met shuwei at the esplanade. :) at first i was happy that the tunnel display was up, but then after looking at it i just think the photographer's a bit warped.

i've been trying to suppress the urge to cough. not very successfully.

my brother got 10. which i think is quite amazing. :O considering he plays dota the whole day. i guess it's acjc then.


My throat closes like the shutter of a camera, so that any air or excuses must move through a tunnel as thin as a pin. I'm invisible, I think, and realize too late that I have spoken out loud.
- Anna, My Sister's Keeper (Jodi Picoult)

sometimes people get into this don't-touch-me-i-might-scream mood. and other times they teeter between that and an if-you-prod-me-a-bit-more-i-might-just-open-up mood. just to know how to tell when's which.

i have tendencies to keep quiet and not talk when i'm tired or upset. or around people i don't know well. i also tend to learn from experiences only later when i think about it, if i actually get down to thinking about it.

i should try harder.






there's something about you now
i can't quite figure out

i am coughing LIKE MAD. ugh this is so irritating. plus i couldn't figure out the song, which was also a bit irritating.

kevin's timetable looks terrible.. but then i think we did have worse weeks. haha. i'm not looking forward to semester starting.. :(

should go and sleep. tomorrow/ later alter clothes and have lunch and go out. somewhere. anywhere. shopping? :D and then cg.

i am still mourning the loss of my pencil cap. :(

i guess sometimes we just don't want to hear the stories. we like to live in denial. and other times we grit our teeth and try to get through things just because. i still don't quite know what i'm trying to figure out, my mind is a mess, i don't understanddd.

really want dh/ ub/ ga from kevinnnn. actually i want pb too but he doesn't like pb haha.

should i make pbc for cg tmr! sudden craving. ;p

RONG DIANA YURONG;
next sunday night 3 feb are you all free?


two years ago i left for melbourne.

i'm back! :)

think the exam went alright. i think.

this is what was tested: knee exam, neurological exam of the arm, hopc, and dealing with emotion. but they asked us to explain standard deviation. haha. none of us could explain it i think. all my epi has flown away. don't even know if my reference range explanation was correct.

ryan and damien and afrah were in my group. :) 4 from clayton and 2 from kl. chengkhoon and chauwang were in the second group.

so after the exam we were comparing. the kl teachers are so much nicer. it's like you're not just a name or a number. cos there are just 57 of them i guess. and they don't do dissections, they just use anatomedia and watch vids of dissections. and they have a mr muscle and a mr viscera. preserved cadavers that they can touch! haha. yeah we were quarantined in their anat lab. plus their fees are so much cheaper. but their degree isn't recognised in singapore (although we learn exactly the same things). sometimes i think the sg government thinks people are stupid.

the night before, daddy was convinced that i couldn't take a blood pressure and made me take everyone's (except kongkong's), multiple times. and he gave me a paediatric tendon hammer. :p

anyway. results should be out in a week, according to the kl students.

it's a relief that it's over, more than i realised i think.

apple chips :)

O level results will be released tomorrow. my mum is more stressed than my brother. actually mark doesn't seem stressed at all. he's sure he did well. i hope he did.

oh, i got to drink birds nest yesterday, this morning, and tonight! :) in kl it was the kind that still had feathers in it and my grandmother had to pick the feathers out for hours. like whoa.

and uncle cj has diabetes. :\ mama also.

there is cg tomorrow i think..

going to eat piece by piece with huiru and xiex on friday. :)

seventeen days.


she keeps her distance, and sits on fences
puts up resistance, and builds defences

hand-delivered mail,
a missing tortoise,
a phonecall from melbourne,
practice at 6am,
uncollected pants,
an unpacked bag,
and 4+ hours to go.

i quote rong:
i miss days that are good, effortlessly.
if you know what i mean.
like you dont have to constantly put in conscious effort to make the day a better one, but, just 'cause you're around with the right people, it comes naturally.


smile. :)



first you say you won't, then you say you will
you keep me hanging on, but we're not moving on
we're standing still

went over to sebas' new place with rong kevin and caleb for an impromptu sleepover last night! :D they mostly played mahjong, i just read. i got the bed because i have exam haha. ;p slept first, the rest slept at about 4. and we left the house at about 8.30. haha. 1.5 hours late. ;p (and no one ate the apples)

had a lot of time, but not enough to go home and bathe, so i found a bus and went to do some stuff that in the end i don't really know why i did, wasted a bit of time waiting etc, thinking, was slightly late for church. which felt bad. :\

today is amy's, gabriel's, gina's, aunty meimei's, and uncle wq's birthday. :D and he proposed! hahaha. announced in front of the whole church.

saw ms carol when we went to have lunch in pp, talked a bit but it was a bit weird. oh well. i was glad to have seen her anyway.

went to raffles city to walk around for a while, we all got those mini rc cars. ;p haha so cute. then after a while i started dying and vomiting etc and just being in immense pain so daddy (and the car) came to the rescue and brought everyone home. slept a bit. and am all better now. :) well mostly. okay headache and.. malaise.

daddy is going to test me osce later! so scary i tell you. :\

thank you everyone who's wished me and is praying for me. :)

so, tomorrow i'm leaving at about 2pm. exam at 9am on tuesday, but i am probably going to have to leave for sunway at like 6.30. so early! might meet damien tomorrow night to practise. and i'll be back weds evening. :)



i'm just going to not think about it and let's see how it goes.





do you think 19 is too young to grow up?

after lunch at sushi tei, i spent 3+ hours mugging in the national library. that's a record! my nose died on me though. and i was happily watching people fighting to use the powerpoints for their comps. ;p rong don't get asus lah. haha.

actually i wanted to find textbooks in the reference lib but i was turned off by the no-highlighters/use-the-lockers thing. i like freedom of study (who doesn't?), which i guess makes the library not that great a choice. but oh well. i think i did as much work today as i've done the other days since the stems were released.

stopped mugging at about 5 and went to bras basah complex. it's been years since i last went there. walked around tecman and artfriend a bit.

dinner at bk. hershey's sundae pie, i think the last time i had that was in sec school, if not pri school. 77 and walked home, walked the long way before i realised my legs were tired, but it was still nice anyway. i think i won't be used to walking so much by the time i go back to melb.

heh i will never understand how bidding works. ;p

ivy appeared! :D haha her account of work so far was quite funny. hopefully it'll get better lah.


you'll always be my thunder

being stuck at home the whole day is killing me. and i've realised that from rotting at home the past 2 months my vocab has shrunk. words/ phrases we used so often in uni etc have disappeared, and it is really quite scary. especially since so many of them are doing attachments at hospitals. :\ plus there are lots of crazy muggers posting new things on blackboard every day! it's the holidays! gah.

so anyway, tomorrow i'm going to go out to study/ think etc. just have to get out of the house.

oh i had a surprise visitor today. :) and chocolate. :)

and coffee, he made my day today by not biting me. he's been biting since the cousins kept coming over to traumatize them.

my sister is being weird.

the new macbook air has got people swooning all over it haha. but it's so nice! ;p

kevin asked if i was free sat night and i had to tell him i can't go out. :( i miss them!






it's hard to think that you might not be real.

fetched isaac from fmps, wasted time at tzone, pizzahut lunch. :) from hearing the guys at tzone, i've come to the conclusion that the guys in my class must have been abnormally guai.

my name isn't in the kl list, neither is it in the clayton one.. :\ but thankfully the guy i called helped me arrange everything. :)

it's cool having a doctor dad, yes? ;p

i suppose there's no point in anything unless it comes from inside.

you'd think it'd get easier every time.. evidently not. i wonder, why i do these things, at the worst possible times. ouch.


i tried to read between the lines
i tried to look in your eyes
i want a simple explanation
for what i'm feeling inside
i gotta find a way out
maybe there's a way out

your voice was the soundtrack of my summer


spending far too much of the day horizontal.

talked to alex about osce stuff haha,
too bad he's doing it in melb.
remember our theme 4 tutes.
not to mention epi. haha.

shihlin. :) miss sa days.

it doesn't make a difference,
whether i know today or tomorrow.

dinner, tv, study/ practise.
i want to go out!

keep me hanging on, so contagiously.


but in your weakness you will learn to find
that I will always be your strength

grounded. :(
by daddy, who thinks i am going to fail osce supps.

but i'm going out later, to buy a shirt. haha.
mine are all in melb, not that i have many anyway.

i really need a table (and entertainment).
not to mention a patient, stethoscope and sphygmomanometer,
tendon hammer and injection stuff.

but i am thankful for online textbooks! yay.


so rise up, my friend
no, this will never be the end


i lift my eyes up, unto the mountains
where does my help come from
my help comes from You
maker of heaven, creator of the earth

spent most of today at home. reading, talking, searching.

it rained like mad, and for more than one reason i didn't want to step out of the house.

would've gone to town on my own, but i suppose free cab rides are always welcome. :)

there were so many people at cg today. more, at least. joel (and his friend sheng) were there too. they helped with the stems, tried to make me remember mse.

cg lesson was about obeying authority, hmm.

scholarship email!

daddy will be driving us up to kl on monday, and we will be back sometime on weds. i wonder when the results will be out.

decided to put up some recent random photos. :)





r u n a w a y


stems are out!

!!!

damien is going to kl tomorrow!

i think the kl campus tried to call me yesterday during the movie. :\


living in the shadow.

my room has been cleaned. which brings the suspicion that i will soon be unable to find something i need. oh well. taokaenoi. :)

hmm. i don't know what to say. it's been an interesting day. spent the first half with my family. the second half was also spent with family, just not my own.

watched dan in real life at vivo. it's an alright show, funnyish, but i don't really like the guy. haha. i want to watch ps. i love you, 27 dresses (izzie!), and made of honour (mcdreamy!). :D

it took me quite a while to stop freaking out. so i walked a long way. saw a half-shaven cat and a cute dog. went to tiong bahru for dinner, didn't eat much (i am still losing weight). went to another aunty's house and then to 130 and then back.

thank you, very much.


i still don't want to. it just makes me want to run away. they are mean. :( i hate the limelight, really. even that is a gross understatement. go away go away! :((


btw, stems aren't out yet. rawr.


?

no blackboard means no stems. no stems means.. i don't know. no studying. they are really mean. :(

picky is looking prettier! so clean i can hardly believe it. :D thank you! :) i hope it lasts though. haha.

had lunch with the cousins etc at owen road, where i discovered you can get fried carrot cake for $1.

washed coffee and kitkat's cage while it was still sunny. worried about tortoise eating dead poisoned fish.

the rest of the day was spent talking, looking at photos, nuahing, walking, eating, looking at the stars.

sebas is having a house warming party tomorrow. but we'll have ours another day. and i will finally return him his fat-elephants pillow and pot basil. ;p

feeling rather :( i don't quite know why. rah.


BLACKBOARD IS CURRENTLY UNAVAILABLE
what is that supposed to mean?!


now that it's all said and done
(oh no)

my last day of slacking (hopefully). until after 22jan, unless.. :\ let's not think about it.

the day started off with looking for tortoise in the garden. i keep thinking he's going to fall off the ledge or something. :\ i guess it's a good thing he was taken out too. cos the fish were found dead this morning, daddy says the water must be toxic. or something.

finished heroes2 (rawr), watched cars (yes i am slow).

the cab ride cost $38+ hahaha but of course we weren't paying so it was okay. i think?

had dinner in a turkish restaurant. the food was good! :D even the tomato haha. the dessert was a bit scary though. so sweet! good thing there were no figs. ;p walked around a bit but there wasn't much to see. skinny jeans hahaha that was quite funny. ;p i still like the cardigan!

the sky was pretty tonight! :) was locked out though. really dislike not having the new gate key.

picky has been promised a spring cleaning tomorrow. :p

CHEER UP RONG.


for twenty minutes the world stands still.

the weather was so nice this morning. and army was free. so we went swimming. :D the pool was deserted so nice. ;p

then it rained like mad in the afternoon.

tortoise (my terrapin) was moved from the water heater pond to the garden haha. i think daddy wants to get new fish and he doesn't want tortoise to eat them all up. ;p what are terrapins supposed to eat anyway? other than the pellets. he must be feeling quite upset haha.

i'd forgotten how much i disliked removing chicken fat. :\ and i got a blister-like thing from holding the knife haha so lousy.

wanjie came for cg today! :D

i still don't want to have to talk for 5 minutes about random things.

missing ex-nine.

friday, my last day of play. :\ (haha no lah still got 2 sundays)


when you're dreaming with a broken heart
the waking up is the hardest part

facebook is tempting. only because of the photos. haha it might get to the point when i'm holding out just for the sake of holding out. ;p

today was pretty uneventful. honestly it only hit me when i realised that he's my age. if it happened to me now i would just die.

oh yes i met mrs lim (ms ang) in fmps. my pri4 form teacher who helped me through a nosebleed. haha. she said i looked very different. which i guess is to be expected after 10 years. amazing that she still remembers eh. :)

celeste found the mac thing for daddy, stashed in the old cupboard in my (her) room. in return daddy is selling her his (my) old laptop. haha.

am going to cook tomorrow, provided there is no one else in the kitchen at the time. it will taste exactly like what i cook in melb haha.

sometimes i wish i could finish all the shows so there wouldn't be anything left to watch. but. no! kevin i still want the rest! ;p

2 days
12 days
30 days

smile! :)


fly;

daddy wants a moleskine. haha.
i don't know how to use excel
(i don't really want to either).
it's so suffocating when there's no one at home.

i miss spring! and taking walks.

was reading 8days and i saw this:
MUST DIE - doughnuts craze.
The queues at a thousand outlets across the island only demonstrate one embarrassing fact: sua ku singaporeans have obviously never tasted Krispy Kreme.
hahaha. :D

will miss the channel8 drama serials much when i go back.

my sister has the hairspray soundtrack. ;p sebas and kevin were singing good morning baltimore that night haha.

they increased the school fees. :(

going to fmps tomorrow to fetch isaac then have lunch then fetch celeste. might get to see mrs sharin lim. :D


it takes all i am to believe.

photos koped from yurong's and joanna's blogs. :)

"i won't be around forever you know."
sounds so sad eh. :\

talked to ashley for a while today. :)
seems like the two-hour phone conversations are so far away.
he says the girls have changed a lot more than the guys.
maybe they'll change more when they go to uni.
but i think actually on the inside we haven't changed that much.

stems are coming out soon.
i'm supposed to go study with damien.
do knee exam in starbucks haha.

i hate work. work should just go and die.


a gossip opportunity has presented itself! :D
but she will just kill me haha so i will keep quiet for a while.
and try to study until jas comes haha.
twister fries and ice milo and serene.
i need peopleee.


[edit: 4.20pm]
had lunch with jas and talked a bit.
then ida came and we went to island creamery.
horlicks and nutella. :) i like the horlicks.

went home because i was irritated by the millions of j1 students milling around serene. not to mention everywhere else. okay not really irritated. just.. you know. annoyed that they are doing nothing while i have to study. haha the usual.

met army who was going to sgh to visit. so i'm sitting on some bench in sgh now. i've studied cts yesss. going to vivo to shop later heh. i think so at least. might follow daddy to nuh tomorrow night, it would be cool. :p

okay i should go back to trying to study. :)


mountain maker, ocean tamer
glimpses of You burn in my eyes
the worship of heaven fills up the skies

looking at the sky tonight while i was walking home reminded me of the sky from outside rusden. it's rare to get to see that many stars here. :)

after walking around the whole day in the new shoes, my feet are almost dead. :( even my sister's squishy plaster couldn't save it.

my recent shopping spree has cost me an arm and a leg. :\ (the topman stripey jacket so nice i couldn't help it!) and i can't work anymore because daddy has banned me from doing any more data entry. he says i need to study. which brings me to another point.

i've been scolded a lot the past few days. for not studying. that i don't mind that much i guess, since it's warranted; i have not been studying. but it is annoying when, for the millionth time, people challenge my principles. i can just give up talking to them.

and everyone should make it a new year resolution to reply smses/ answer phone calls/ call back. myself included. quite seriously. before we all just give up smsing each other.

and stick to the one that says we shouldn't add half an hour. i applaud caleb's effort. ;p

thanks kevin for the rice-name thing and statue and krispy kreme! :D haha he was carrying the box around the whole day and people kept asking us if we got it from singapore. obviously not, sg so lousy, only got donut factory haha.

after dinner at fareast (and looking at shoes), we went to sebas' home #2 (again) because kevin hadn't been there. slacked a bit (with the aircon on), i love the sofa. haha. showed kevin the exhibitionist bathroom. ;p and sat on the platform. then went to starbucks for a while.

peiyu got off the bus i got on. :( then they all went to talk some more. slept in the bus, forgot about my dying feet and walked home the long way anyway.

might go serene to study before/ after shepherding. if i can somehow find the motivation to.


photos from the 4A gathering. :) don't have the whole group one cos yurong hasn't uploaded. ;p




me, i want a hula hoop

had brunch at crystal jade kitchen holland v today, a celebration of my sister's birthday. went home then went out again. walked around marina square and the passageway to the esplanade. i think some artwork/ artists can be kind of disturbing.

4A gathering today! :D

people who went:
diana yurong rong may shuwei yuming joanna tiffany linda grace me zhiyao ashley william irwin kenneth

i've missed yuming zheh and ashley kor! yuming keeps trying to make me get facebook too. haha.

diana keeps dreaming that she's seen me before today this holiday.

had dinner at breeks, it took a million years for us to get a table for sixteen. spent a lot of time hanging around and talking/ taking photos.

took a lim family photo haha. we were only missing daixuan! actually if she was in church she'd have been in town too. :\

then most people went home, and there was just us left. rong diana yurong may shuwei me. decided to go to indochine. it was very smoky ugh. shared a china green with yurong, rong got some banana thing that didn't taste like banana. diana got a tequila sunrise and may and shuwei shared a lime margarita. took another group photo (it took 3 people to get it right), then caught the last bus home with yurong and diana. :) it's nice having people staying so near. haha.


sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me

i should really get out of the house, if not i'll be eaten up by all the sianness/ nuahness here. spent the entire day on the comp. :\ tidied up the PIE data, watched a lot of shows (a lot. a lot a lot), talked. i'm sorry if i was cranky today. :( it was a bad day.

tomorrow, on the other hand, is a lot more promising. brunch with the family to celebrate celeste's birthday, and 4A dinner in the evening. i'm hoping to get some retail therapy in between. it is kind of necessary.

anyway. some photos. :)






try not to talk when there's nothing to say
kept bottled up, we get carried away

wasted the morning away doing random things, sebas was sleeping so i couldn't go over. yet.

met him at starbucks valley point at about 3, studied a bit of anat and decided i couldn't take it. so i went to dabao some green stuff for cg and went to town. (in between that i had a raspberry-smth frap blend and about 1/3 of a bananarama muffin!)

today's cg group was an interesting mix of people. jas chew cheryl val ida ian lionel zepeng shawn(?) cn. my stomach was being weird but it's been like that the whole day. plus a few other days. maybe that's why i'm losing weight instead of gaining it. which is weird since i'm home.

the lesson taught by chew was quite an unusual perspective i think. something that i think most people wouldn't have heard of or considered before. but it makes sense. just like how i was thinking the other day, that the whole story of what happened in the garden of eden keeps repeating itself, except in a modern context.

the cupcakes val baked were nice. :)

oh and i suddenly realised this morning that i should go look at the muso/ blackboard discussion boards. wonder why i didn't think of it earlier. anyway the exam is less than 20 days away and my parents are freaking out too. why oh why. and they wanted me to go back to melbourne for the exam. i gasped in horror. not because i don't want to go back. it's just too early. cutting my holiday short by too much. :\

okay it's my sister's birthday now. happy birthday celeste!

have to move back to the little room today, the student's coming back tomorrow or something like that. which is quite sad, i just got used to having more space. and air. and toilet. :(

kevin's hk/ shenzhen/ beijing/ shanghai/ xi'an photo blog is super funny. because it sounds exactly like him. :D and all the highlighting and illustrations haha.

this is a ridiculous time to be awake, goodnight.


ridiculous+

down on the inside;
pretty on the outside
turn it around, can we turn it around
try to make a comeback
with nowhere to start from now
but it's looking up

a second chance, a much better day
a sunset that just won't go away


if i say it like i mean it then maybe i'll believe it like it's true

today was the first day of school!

i went back to fairfield with celeste, isaac and army, it felt like it was my first day back at school too. haha. followed army through the staff room and HOD room, met mano. ;p and ms ng (who always just says hi very offhandedly haha). saw ms wong ch also, but of course she wouldn't remember me. they were still having assembly when i left at 8.20am, guess the new principal talks as much as the old one, or maybe even more. ;p oh well. i still hold on to the belief that fairfield isn't as great as it used to be, maybe i'm just biased since the time they didn't invite mathew lim haha.

went over to the primary school too, but i didn't get to see isaac cos they didn't let people near the p1s. i was quite amazed that there were so many old teachers still there. as in teachers who were there when i was there. since primary 1, meaning it's been like. 13 years! and they're still there. my favourite teacher mrs sharin lim is teaching p1 this year! ;p should go say hi one day.

after fairfield i went to somerset, was on time lor. so much for new year resolutions haha. (okay i think ivy wants me to make one. or some). anyway kenny was the first one after me, so talked to him a bit. then rong and sebas finally came. sebas was more than an hour late lah pig. durian cheecheongfun was nice. :D but i think might as well just eat durian, since there is so little ccf.

we all miss kevin. :( COME BACK SOON PLEASE. and bring krispy kreme with you! ;p

came home and had lunch and watched desperate housewives and slept a bit.

went to the japanese hilltop restaurant for teppanyaki dinner with uncle chongjin and auntie karen! :D they're visiting from ireland. i love ireland. ;p anyway, the food was really good. and they are very easy to talk to. and auntie karen's hair is still bright red. :D sometimes i forget that she's an anaesthetist.

sam called me to tell me how much i owed him. then he said he can't wait to go back. haha. i think it comes in waves. i want to go back too. just not all the time.

please let hk happen.

blogger is slow so no photos. yet.

sometimes it's difficult to know what's expected of you.


space? yes.

hmm it's quite strange to be home at this time of the day.. guess that shows how much i've been out recently. actually, ever since coming back.

so, '08 is here. feels kind of strange.

yesterday: went to suntec/ millenia walk. auntie anne's. :) i still like parmesan cheese more. playground. but without a swing. wake-up ice lemon tea, which didn't really wake me up. i was like a zombie. :\ sorry. was late meeting sebas heh. dinner at cjlmxlb with peiyu caleb sebas. it was good. :) :) :) went to sebas' new place, jason joined us. peiyu left. and we went to boontongkee. then 970 home, just in time to shower and meet the new year.

today: went to sentosa in the morning, got a call from sebas telling me that jason got his flight timing wrong. it was 3.45 instead of 7.30. so we rushed to the airport. felt so bad leaving huiru and xieai there. :\ sent jason off. oh well. hk next year yes? :)

caleb's new year resolution:
to not be late.
(already broken today)

peiyu's new year resolution:
to answer calls.
(already broken today)
sebas says she should change it to:
to call back when she misses calls. ;p

sebas' new year resolution:
to save the planet. don't use straws.

and his new year resolution for all of us:
don't automatically +30mins to whatever time we're supposed to meet. haha.

went back to sentosa after that (thanks to xieai's islander card :D), supposedly to eat buffet. BUT. being a public holiday. there was no buffet. :( so we went back to vivo and ate at asian kitchen instead. the food was good. :) but the avocado snow drink thing was a bit weird heh. didn't taste like avocado.

xieai had to leave, so huiru and i shopped a bit. river island. :) couldn't help it haha. thanks huiru for the cinnamon rolls! :)

oh yes. they both got burnt. :( and i am still the same colour! rawr. but nevermind still darker than rong. ;p

school starts tomorrow, i'm going back to fairfield to photograph isaac's first morning in school, and maybe help army with her PIE welcoming teachers thing. then breakfast! finally, the durian cheecheongfun we've all been hearing about for the longest time. better not be late. and then, of course, i'm supposed to study! grumbles. but hee i am very happy with today's purchases. :)


2008 is coming.
that is so..
horrible. :(
2008 go away!

am seriously lacking sleep.
but it just seems like sleep is a waste of time.
when you don't have that much of it left.
not that i'm going back that soon.
there's still more than a month left.
but.
study. :(
the whole world's been reminding me, freaking out on my behalf, and freaking me out in the process too. SEE. 2008 go away.

and yes i miss that little niche of life in melbourne.
not comfortable in every way, of course.
but nothing is perfect.
just like how i always want it to be cold when it's hot, and vice versa.

tomorrow is new year's eve.
i should be sleeping in but!
rawr i just want to do stuff.
why is it so sian.