fawn
27
(doctor!)
singapore/ sunny coast
melbourne! ♥
(would love to bake for a cafe/
?bird & brie)
wallflower
☁
my brother says i am
a cumulonimbus cloud :)

also

joy unspeakable that won’t go away
and just enough strength to live for today
so i never have to worry
what tomorrow will bring
‘cause my faith is on a solid rock
i am counting on God
♡
in dreams and in love
there are no impossibilities.
- jános arany
☼
You make all things
work together for my good.

people

rong; yurong; diana; may;
peiyu; caleb; kevin; daniel; joel;
lois; susanna; june; jane; cheryl;
yuwan; christina; jocelyn;
ivy; mangyik; jasmine; ida; valerie;
jason; joab; shaun; jintat;
jonathan chua; freedy; gary;
iris; sammy; nicky;

love

history

March 2005; April 2005; May 2005; June 2005; July 2005; August 2005; September 2005; October 2005; November 2005; December 2005; January 2006; February 2006; March 2006; April 2006; May 2006; June 2006; July 2006; August 2006; September 2006; October 2006; November 2006; December 2006; January 2007; February 2007; March 2007; April 2007; May 2007; June 2007; July 2007; August 2007; September 2007; October 2007; November 2007; December 2007; January 2008; February 2008; March 2008; April 2008; May 2008; June 2008; July 2008; August 2008; September 2008; October 2008; November 2008; December 2008; January 2009; February 2009; March 2009; April 2009; May 2009; June 2009; July 2009; August 2009; September 2009; October 2009; November 2009; December 2009; January 2010; February 2010; March 2010; April 2010; May 2010; June 2010; July 2010; August 2010; September 2010; October 2010; November 2010; December 2010; January 2011; February 2011; March 2011; April 2011; May 2011; June 2011; July 2011; August 2011; September 2011; October 2011; November 2011; December 2011; January 2012; February 2012; March 2012; April 2012; May 2012; June 2012; July 2012; August 2012; September 2012; October 2012; November 2012; December 2012; January 2013; February 2013; March 2013; April 2013; May 2013; June 2013; July 2013; August 2013; September 2013; October 2013; November 2013; December 2013; January 2014; February 2014; March 2014; April 2014; May 2014; June 2014; July 2014; August 2014; September 2014; October 2014; November 2014; January 2015; February 2015; March 2015; April 2015; May 2015; June 2015; July 2015; August 2015; February 2016; March 2016; April 2016; June 2016; July 2016; August 2016; September 2016; October 2016; November 2016;

credits

Hosts: blogger; photobucket
Layout: /strawberrying

white noise.

tomorrow i will know whether i passed my monash interview. yes? no? maybe?

the teachers must find it amusing to see everyone freaking out. conversations drifting between genetics (because of the test), organic chem (during lesson), and the interview.

mrs dawson wrote: there will be many very disappointed students.

how promising.

mr sonsie highlighted the names of his students on the list. (i only knew cos sophie told me after physics) thos who didn't know freaked out if their's wasn't highlighted. and we were trying to figure out how they arranged the names. it wasn't in alphabetical order. it wasn't by class. syahir's name was on the top, and mine was second.

in Christ alone i place my trust.

hope it's sunny in singapore today.


they're going to sentosa tomorrow. :(

msged emily happy birthday. :) and said that at the end of the year i'll go and take 985 home with her again. :) and her friend wayne (who kept asking me to change place) and johnny. :)

i don't dare to weigh myself anymore.

i'm too tired to do any more bio. HOW HOW HOW. i can't do linked genes and i can't remember what else. i haven't practised genetics. i can't remember. i need to wash the sinkful of dishes.

my stomach has been feeling weird the whole day, and i can't take in deep breaths because my lungs hurt. am i dying?


i'll only ever give my all

it's 21 degrees now! :) so WARM yay!

had a quiz in math lesson today and i totally didn't know how to do anything. :
i found a nice nice nice bag but it's A$85 which is like S$100+ and i don't have money. :(

fell asleep in bio. a few times. :\ evolution is just boring. and speciation and a lot of weird things we didn't learn before. like analogous and homozygous structures. and i dunno what lah. and i keep getting mixed up with lamarck and darwin.

chem was a blur because she was rushing and i cannot remember anything. especially since i didn't study organic chem since common test last year. hurr.

went to the library to do physics research. then came back because i forgot to bring my english summary and compre study guide to school. met klm on the way back to school and he offered me cigarettes. and he thought i didn't understand cantonese.

did the stupid 15-min reading time thing, then hurried up and did the compre in about 35mins. at least i did it.

and i'm reading deception point now. is it stupid to keep reading storybooks when exams are in a week's time?

sometimes i'd rather not know. but no, they tell me anyway. why haven't you accepted it yet, you've disappeared.


in Christ alone

in Christ alone will i glory
though i could pride myself in battles won
for i've been blessed beyond measure
and by His strength alone i overcome
oh, i could stop and count successes
like diamonds in my hand
but these trophies could not equal
to the grace by which i stand

in Christ alone
i place my trust
and find my glory in the power of the cross
in every victory
let it be said of me
my source of strength
my source of hope
is Christ alone

in Christ alone will i glory
for only by His grace i am redeemed
and only His tender mercy
could reach beyond my weakness to my need
and now i seek no greater honour
than just to know Him more
and to count my gains with losses
to the glory of my Lord

in Christ alone
i place my trust
and find my glory in the power of the cross
in every victory
let it be said of me
my source of strength
my source of hope
is Christ alone


it's good just to see your face

slept late last night because of some rather irritating person in my room. hai well at least i had cheesecake. but it wasn't cold.

math test was alright. except that i had a stomachache halfway. :\ okay i am having diarrhoea! (remember mrs kong made us write that word 50 times when we spelt it wrong in pri5 or something like that)

did badly for chem test. :(( sigh. BLEAH. i hope organic chem is better. hurr koney scolds people 2,4-DNPH lah. so weird.

then last night sebas asked me to call him again for some nonsense reason lah. to tell me that on his physics notes got one page with highlighter across it and rong wrote "fawn did this" and below that i wrote "rong is a LIAR". haha. and kevin wrote "phi" as "fai" but i said it wasn't his fault because the lecturer spelt it like that! but it's not as if sebas would know because he was always sleeping. and then after that still say we so retarded. who's the retarded one lah.

brian litrell~

OH. apparently army is going to have tea with ian's mum. that is so weird lah.

blame it on my ridiculously lousy timing and inability to say no. i end up lending people my notes and books and they take years to return them. my notes are not up for loan! :( MY PHYSICS CHECKPOINTS.

finished studying bio notebook notes. but i don't get non-disjunction and i can't remember the ratios. and linked genes. so weird and foreign. and tomorrow still have to do summary and compre and physics research.

//braindead. and my comp is lagging now ughhh. :(

SLEEPEARLY. all the best for chem tomorrow. :)


do you remember

haha okay i was just reading my autograph book and i have to blog about some random things. :D like:

1. getting yurong's books from her locker (i still have the key haha) before school and msging her because she's always late

2. helping mokyenna mark attendance while everybody copies homework :D

3. playground at PS level5 (long gone), where we used to play with 50-cent rattan balls from barang barang and make shuwei chase us around. and then we tried squeezing into the space under the slide or something like that. and there were all those coin rides. haha

4. tlupatac, chilli sauce containers, and rubber bands. and of course, tennis balls.

5. our jesc outing (which rong couldn't go for because of unforseen circumstances haha so deprived) and cheesecake

6. mugging in school until 6 or 7 and being chased out by the cleaner

7. hero by mariah carey

8. angel-mortal

9. the peanut gang! maca damia doughnut black walnut :D

10. rong always drawing cars to cover up her mistakes when she writes

11. dodgeball: yurong's virgin movie with school people

12. lying on each others' stomachs on a rock at east coast for hours but only seeing the sky change colour

13. rong drawing jackjack without his head

14. denial is a sign of pregnancy

15. haha pink bear man and DI (it stands for damnit) and red man (i dunno who) and black shirt man (how i know) and pink bear delivery man (shane. very oops) and weird CCA man (yeezheng?) haha I DON'T KNOW ASK RONG SHE WROTE IT.

16. slacking at holland v KFC (also long gone, but not as long as playground) and complaining about the scary lady who comes and whisks our food away before we're done. to chase us away. but we stayed there for hours anyway.

17. me always eating rotten food for breakfast (namely, apple juice) and needing to go to the toilet during chapel (where got always?!)

18. this is from kenneth:
Hi. I AM HERE TO VANDALISE YOUR CLEAN PAGE.
YOU KNOW WHO IS THE CULPRIT?
Its me.
Its the cranky guy.
Its te Z.(Zillionaire)
Its Kenneth Z.(Z for Zillionaire) Ng
Howdy
Good day!
May the spaceship be with you.

19. west coast park with the limsters (except william)

20. esplanade library membership

21. the limsters' piece of paper with our names on it stuck somewhere in paragon (when we had a picnic of icecream, bread, and apple-aloevera). wonder if it's still there

22. intensive chinese O's mugging at KAP

23. this is from timo:
GOLD BARS 4 U!
yo yo yo yo yo yo yo
hehehehehehehehehe
YO with style.
Beware of imitations!
Eg. Proyo. MyojoMee. Cryolite. Dunean yo. Piyo Piyo. Arroyo. Karang guniyo. Sanyo. Aiyo. Mayonaise.
Hi.
As the darkness encroaches the horizon,
As the gulls cease their vibrant calls,
As the blue is interrupted by a green presence,
A YOYO APPROACHES.
A fledgling of the night,
furtive, surreptitious.
Groaning in morbid croaks.
It sights its prey. Slinks.
Unseen. Unheard.
Pounces.
Flesh is pierced like hot searing iron.
Agony - a portrait presented at its epitome.
The prey submits as the darkness cloaks it.
A tragic deer.
YoYo.

24. yurong's deformed snails :D

25. 4 hours of bridge in KFC at the bangkok airport while transiting to chiangmai. tutor tutee

26. O level bio pract prawn (which may cooked)

27. starfish

28. haribo from the purple shop. and my favouritest youmian from across. KOR let's go eat after A's! :) with the mug-in-school gang and they can eat their yu pian mi fen.

29. cheewei calling yurong porksie. :D

30. huiling's song: firestorm (which she taught me how to play, but i can't remember now :\). baking chicken pies at her house for fiesta

31. suddenly bursting into laughter at the most random of times because we remembered something funny that happened ages ago

32. dennis' april fool's joke

33. nailclipper (most often borrowed by steffi and ashley)

34. waiting for the music to start at 7.10 (?) before slowly walking to the parade square

35. attire checks (hair, socks, earrings, zip, tie, skirt, camisole..)


okay 35 is a rounded number. FRESNEL LENSES now.


maybe i could run
maybe i could fly
to you

ORAL PRESENTATION IS OVER. that means no more OPs for this year!! :)) ahhhh j o y.

send eight and receive three. it's less than half, but it's enough. once you stop expecting anything.

thanks kevin!! :) tengkyu haha.

i searched the entire physics section in the library during line3 today and couldn't find anything about fresnel lenses. it is just such a stupid idea to give us research projects the week before trials lah. HELLO. you only started organic chem and evolution today and don't give us any revision time and you give us research projects which are completely and totally out of point?! like FRESNEL LENSES which is not even in the syllabus and no one could care less. ARE YOU STUPID. i want to complain.

smile smile smile.
smile smile smile smile smile.
i was told to smile more because it makes me and other people happy. why should it make other people happy.

is it more important to know that you are loved, or to let others know that you love them? or are both equally important?

overboard. sigh.

happy birthday yingma!! :))
haha i msged her today. :D
see you at grad nightttt x)

i need to teach STATS tonight which is a bit stupid because how can i teach something when i don't know it myself. but i am so relieved that OP is over! because math and bio aren't so scary. heh. okay maybe except linked genes cos we didn't do it in SA. i think. only sex-linked. okay but there's still physics research project.

okay let me explain what we're doing for physics RP. we have to do research blah blah and then write a rough draft in school on thurs. and then he collects it. and then on friday, we have to write it from memory, and that's the final thing. what is the point lah. so stupid my gosh.

auntie helen sent me seventeen again! :)) haha she can be my most regular sender! hahaha i give up on most regular smser already.

and i am probably going to KL at the end of the year, so i might not be around for christmas. i don't know. i want to go to sitiawan. and maybe i'll see evan. haha but i doubt it. that was ages ago. but i think she still goes there.

A$38000

next sunday. twix pods.

p i a n o

i haven't done my accounts nonsense for ages, so it's all messed up. i can't remember what i ate.

OH i want to watch city of angels! i want i want. but i will wait until sunday. or maybe saturday. or friday night hahaha.

okay shower dinner fresnel lenses math.


finger writing
[just smile more]

i am about to scream. ARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

:(

i am stressed.

okay i know that prelims start tomorrow and everyone else on earth is more stressed than me. but still!

met ian at nutshack at about 10.50am and walked around exploring while he helped his auntie pack nuts. the shop is nice. :) it has pine nuts and dried papaya, which bubbles would love. and raisins too. i must get raisins for him.

walked along swanston street and then went to church. got intro-ed to a fairsian! lydia from 4A'03. one year our senior. :) but i didn't know her. got asked to join a cell. hmmm.

met aries outside church. aries is ian's trinity friend from indo. who studied in singapore for a while i think. haha. went to have lunch at chilipadi. then went back to hostel to meet koney and phoebe to do prep for english OP tomorrow.

i don't like working with hongkees okay. and i hate OPs. and the combination sucks.

did OP stuff from 2.30 until 5.30. almost died. they claim that you have to act something out first in order to write the script. and so she made us say the lines like ten times before deciding. ARGH.

and then. i didn't reply sebas on msn because i was doing OP stuff and he said i was unsupportive. nobody smses when i have tests or other retarded things or interviews or UMAT or ISAT or PQA. THANKYOU.

then loyi asked me to edit his commitment essay which was 500 words too long and had the most horrendous grammar and tense mistakes. and i have to edit it in red so he knows what i changed.

and then i have to type the stupid script for OP and guess what. today is SUNDAY, for goodness' sake.

she said she had to leave early (from OP), at about 5.15, and later at about 8.30 i saw her at melbourne central.

thankfully, i went to have dinner with ian and aries at chinatown. felt puky along the way, but the food made it better. and it was ian's treat. :) and it was quite funny seeing him so fascinated with pods. because the whole australian community has eaten pods. he's been here for more than 1.5 years and tonight was the first time he tried them. mars pods. :) but twix are nicer.

after that we walked around randomly along the grid of the city roads. and when i came back, i said hi to masitah and the kid (i forgot his name) and purple guy. purple guy asked why they hadn't seen me in ages. which wasn't true, since i saw the kid in school quite a few times. and purple guy goes to RMIT so i don't see him.

and so, i am stressed. going to shower to wash away some of the stress and then edit the stupid essay and do something about the OP.


i'm so sorry, but i can't believe anything you say right now. maybe ever.

i wonder how jean's doing! and what the time difference is.

today is a wonderfully bad hair day. sigh. i don't like getting out of bed feeling tired on a weekend. need to recharge!

read the curious incident of the dog in the night-time.

i don't want to put caleb's korean magnet on the fridge cos i'm scared i'll forget to take it at the end of the year! :
everybody should go and watch maritess vs. the superfriends! http://www.fractalcow.com/rex/high.html
it's super funny lah. :D
sebas' recommendation. he's a bit crazy over it haha. but it is funny. hahaha but i ask aiksern to watch then he say not funny lah. hurr.

okay everybody study hard because prelims start tomorrow!!!!!!! AHHHH. :\ okay sorry. trials are in 9 days (excluding today because today is sunday) and i haven't studied. like for physics, at all. for chem, mole. bio, cell structure? not really also. math is alright. just need to do practice papers.

this is so the wrong time for stupid things like physics research proj lah. ugh.

okay church (:


you know that something is missing when you eat an apple or banana and there's no little furry thing to eat the last bit for you.


the strands in your eyes
that colour them wonderful
stop me and steal my breath
emeralds from mountains
thrust toward the sky
never revealing their depth
tell me, that we belong together
dress it up with the trappings of love
i'll be captivated
i'll hang from your lips
instead of the gallows
of heartache that hang from above


called huiru just now. :) i miss herrrr. prelims is just killing everyone.

and i am so smart i forgot to bring my graphic calc back from school! everytime i really need it, i leave it in my locker. so clever. <- ha like the orchid ad. okay i forgot what it was for. milk?

did some math (thankfully not every question requires a graphic calc) and slacked. a lot. but i probably did more work than if i'd slept later last night and woken up at 3pm today. have to shift my waking hours a bit so i won't die in darkness tonight.

together we sing, everyone sing
holy is the Lord God Almighty
the earth is filled with His glory

it's quite sad that prelims start on monday.
j i a y o u everyone! :\


at the end of the rainbow is a box of cornflakes! the gold had been sprinkled within the arch.
courtesy of crisann. :)

the school week is over! :)) i survived. ha.

woke up at 7.35 and walked to school with heather jocelyn and sharon.

i borrowed a book! couldn't help it haha.

managed to finish bio research project. :) it was just a copying race i think. everyone was just copying what they wrote at home.

stupid mistake for chem test. :(( AHHHHHH why didn't i see that gold was THREE. argh argh argh. chem tests are out of very few marks (if that makes sense), so one mistake costs a lot. :(

AND the most horrendous piece of news i received today: THERE IS A RESEARCH PROJECT FOR PHYSICS TOO. that means pw for every subject except math! how UGH is that. my topic is fresnel lenses. or something like that. i don't have a clue what on earth that is.

and then and then. english oral presentation on monday. my group is so amazing that we are going to write the script on sunday. i don't want to do work on a sunday afternoon. :
i'm not the same one
look what the time's done

12 (or 11) days to trials! whee~ i should really get someone to replace the lightbulbs before i go blind. THREE FUSES NOW. they don't like me.



the space in between us
building 429

look at my heart again
look at the mess i've got it in
i'm learning to trust in You
to know that You'll see me
through my pride
through my shame
into Your love
into Your grace
i'm looking back
till i see Your face
and i'm running straight to You
because

all i really wanna do is to fall into
the emptiness that is
the space in between us
to break this division
all i really wanna do is fall into
the emptiness that is
the space in between us
erase it and bring us together again

my life's an open book
nothing is hidden when You look
You break through my boundaries
revealing my insecurities
but through my pride
through my shame
You show me love
You show me grace
i'm not looking back
till i see Your face
and i'm running straight to You
because

all i really wanna do is to fall into
the emptiness that is
the space in between us
to break this division
all i really wanna do is fall into
the emptiness that is
the space in between us
erase it and bring us together again

here i am saying i need You
i know i need You
here i am, i'm coming to meet You
'cause i want to see You


STOP EATING AND START WORKING YOU DODO! :\

i talked to yenna! :)) haha. she almost died today because of math2 and physics3 or something like that. sigh. and bio tomorrow. she wanted me to test her. how sperms and eggs are formed haha but i told her i wouldn't know if she was right or wrong. WHAT AM I LEARNING HERE. sighh.

i can't resist chocolate. xD

i thought i lost my protein synthesis notes for the second time. but i found it in the end. :)) yay! i gave up trying to draw gel electrophoresis. so stupid ugh. but i think i need to draw protein synthesis! and i just don't know how. want to find some diagram i can copy lah. bleah.

OH sebas is organising a near-christmas party at my house! ahaha. (he wants me to organise but i don't care) cos he wants to cook roast chicken/ turkey. and the mushroom soup and butter prawns he owes me from june hols. and he wants a gift exchange. haha. but. my house not fun one.

from wasinee's pm:
if only homework was food.
hahaha. she looks so thai now! like five times more thai than sec3. and i guess three times more thai than chiangmai.

today is the second day i haven't touched it! :\ no practice! but oh well. i doubt this sunday will be on, so.. MUGMUGMUG.

okay i shall go figure out how to draw transcription/ translation. -.-


free your mind, let your heart sing
and just remember that they're only things

today was such a rainy day. but it wasn't heavy, so it was quite nice to walk in the rain. :) except a bit cold. ha.

statistics! cannot do. mean, median, Q1 Q2 Q3, outliers, box plot, standard deviation, variance, coefficient of determination, some other coefficient, line of regression, line of best fit, residuals, scatterplot.. i don't get it.

nuclear energy. thankfully, there were no radioactive things today. hurr.

printed bio research stuff, then realised 15mins before bio that i'd left my chem study guide at hostel. chem test tomorrow, and there was no point in going for chem lesson if i didn't have my stuff to ask questions. so. i went back. rushed and rushed and was late for bio haha. with syahir.

had no clue what to write for bio. so i did intro and background DNA stuff. that means i have a ton of stuff to write tomorrow. think i will type everything out, then tomorrow print in line3 and just copy during bio. and draw diagrams! ugh.

chem was alright. discussing electrolysis and electrochemical cells with nike syahir and koney. with loyi asking me to edit his english essay for him. typical. i helped him edit his entire research project lah.

wanted to do research during line6/7, but ended up writing instead. new blog hahaha. fiction. inspired by someone.

i read and read (couldn't help myself), but i still don't know much more than before i started. except for the really direct stories. sigh.

and i found 2 good books in the library today! but i forced myself not to borrow them so i wouldn't read. so i would have more time to study (yeah right). bio research project sucks, by the way. it's eating up all my time. i'll be thankful when it's over. tomorrow 11.40am! yayyy.

i've been getting free photocopies because i let people use the machine before me. :D hahaha. okay jacky was quite nice, and the malay (?) girl also. :) i wanted to let karen have the 20cents, but she paid me anyway.

full marks for homework essayyyy whee~ :D:D hahaha. 15% of everything. SO HAPPY CAN. i have never gotten full marks for an essay before. i think it's only possible here. ahaha.

i hate how food is so expensive here. i miss having $2.50 chicken rice! :( here it's like A$7.50 easily. which is like S$9? MADNESS LAH OKAY.

"i watch her through the ride" <- doesn't that sound like something a stalker would say. oh my gosh.

remember the lead-acid accumulator equations! (that means it will come out in the test tomorrow) thank God i've sort of studied. if not, i can be prepared to flunk either one- bio or chem.

reading without asking why. without asking what. it feels so strange. suddenly being given insight into someone's life. so, who is she, i wonder.


cliffs, parachutes, words and fears.

i am dead tired. dead tired.

bio research project completely drained me. ugh. it is pw all over again. and worse, since i left it until the very last minute. plus, my topic is so completely boring. and i can hardly find any info about it.

it's a bit weird how you can talk to someone, and in that one conversation, it can be so random at times but so focused at other times. few people can make me reveal more of me than i want. why did you have to be one of them.

and i have something new to read too. interesting, really. but i can't interprete things well. and yes, i am naive. very. i'm so sorry, but you'll have to explain things to me as i go along. it's supposed to work 101%. but my being naive probably brings that down to 50%.

inferiority complex. you don't get me.

and i was juggling all this with bio research project.

not to mention yurong's tomMoRow and symPhaties. hahaha. and her prom theme: ONE LAST. hahaha so ambiguous lah. at swissotel. where's ours? i forgot.

and had to call sebas using my handphone because of something IMPORTANT. all he wanted to tell me was that darren feng was from his church. hahaha. and comment that everyone else in the world is not on the scale of 1 to 10. and compare how many michelle's and nicholas's we have on friendster. how many friends you have is judged by how many michelle's you have. WEIRDU. i have 2 fawns! hahaha. okay i think the convo was quite funny. i was like "okay you win you win you win you win you win you win.." i think i went on for quite a while. he waste my money only lah. and don't want to learn how to call me some more.

AND LOTS OF STUFF TO THINK ABOUT. sigh. i just cannot tell. hmm i think i am too insensitive. just breeze over it and look at everything at surface level. ahhh. ashley! it is coming back to haunt me. and that was what, 2 years ago? class chalet.

feel so mao dun. helpppp. :( i hate it when things like this suddenly hit me in the face. when i have a million other things to do. UGH.

okay i need to sleep. i predict that i will wake up late tomorrow again. i don't mind waking up at like 7.35 and reaching school on the dot.

God. refuge. rock. fortress. life.


when divided we stand, baby
united we fall

bio research project kills! :(( i spent time researching in the library before and after school, ugh. and best of all, i could hardly find anything! i think i'm going to make something up. like use restriction enzymes and PCR and blahblahblah.

today is junk food day! ahhh.

medicine/surgery
biomed/science
biomed

whee~

i don't like feeling my bone when i rest my elbow on the table. :
bio research project, english summary and compre, chem test, english oral presentation, bio test, math test.. bleah.

<3


fairfield outing- 130806
overdue

me barbara kat elin darren ian

gelato :)

big
planet shakers

my God is big
so strong, so mighty

my God's plan for me
goes beyond my wildest dreams

my God is good
He's so good to me

yeah
so good to me
yeah

my God is big
so strong, so mighty

my God is good
He's so good, to me

He's my God and
He is my refuge
He's the rock on which i stand
He is my fortress
God, He is my life
He holds the oceans in His hand

my God is big
so strong, so mighty

my God is good
He's so good to me

there's nothing my God cannot do


fight the break of dawn-
literally.
guess what happens tomorrow. :(

i got my chem textbook back! :)) syahir stole it. haha. yay thank You! :))

i woke up at 7.41am today! haha. it's becoming a normal thing. and i was still about the 5th one in class. :) my watch strap has died (the little thing to hold the excess length of strap to your wrist broke), and so i have absolutely no sense of time now.

how come peiyu can get chinese high and RI lah. i always get acsi haha. give up already lah. i bet they don't even have fairfield lah. the person who created the quiz is so sexist! hmph. and jealous of what??

i went walking around randomly after school. myer and bourke street and chinatown (for food). counted roughly in my head and was happy because it's coming soon. and then i told myself PLEASE STUDY FOR TRIALS NOW.

so i came back. and washed the dishes. haha. and then read through english summary and compre notes. and two past essays. haha. was reminded of how we're supposed to write in a very casual way. haha i like it. :) so fun. BUT summary and compre is NOT fun. and we have to do one tomorrow ugh.

they changed trials timetable again. i think they want to kill me or something.

6sept- physics
7sept- english, chem
8sept- math
14sept- bio

please exchange bio with physics!! :\ ugh ugh ugh.

i am going broke. please donate to the SAVEFAWN fund. yay.

save me,
from a state of unemotion

first smile in a month. am i happy or what. ahhhhh. things can't go back to normal. but knowing that someone doesn't hate you helps. yep. :)

two stupid lightbulbs have fused. one for the second time! what is their problem. so ma fan to go down and get someone to help me change argh.

crumpler matches are cute haha.
reminder: suga ROCK CANDY!

i don't know. are you talking to me? DON'T SCARE ME. :
because all i really wanna do is fall into
the emptiness that is the space in between us
erase it and bring us together again


i don't know if i can
i don't know if i should
i don't know what is right
and what's to come if you would

cruel things done with good intentions. i never realised. made a few but lost one of the more important ones. was it worth it? it wasn't even my choice.

i miss:
xieai
huiru
jeanette
prissy
johannah
ms sab

i lost my chem textbook today. :((( WHO STOLE IT.

we are meant to trust Him in everything. the first person we run to.


if you were right and i was wrong
why are you the one who's gone
and i'm still here

i think i miss just seeing them. seeing them moving. haha. kevin posted video! :) yay! HAHA purple tiara. :D caleb so retarded hahaha.

i worry for her. :\ but she should be okay. i hope. i really hope.

sometimes i read things and immediately assume them to be referring to something else. i should really stop jumping to conclusions. even though i may never know what you're talking about. but there's always a chance i may be right. right? ha.

haha now i have lindy hop music! :D ahh i miss orientation. i miss orientationI. arts fac is so much more rah rah than science heh. and the cheers also five million times nicer and louder. :p

i think i've never really had genuine concerns about money before.

happy things can be sad at the same time. so mixed up. focus on the happy!

went to see ian's uncle-man (he stays in uncle-man's house) today at nutshack (his shop) in melbourne central. he looks like a nice guy haha.

oh yes! congrats to jason for great results!! :))


i'm still here
vertical horizon

i found the pieces in my hand
they were always there
it just took some time for me to understand
you gave me words i just can't say
so if nothing else
i'll just hold on while you drift away
'cause everything you wanted me to hide
is everything that makes me feel alive

the cities grow, the rivers flow
where you are, i'll never know
but i'm still here
if you were right and i was wrong
why are you the one who's gone
and i'm still here
still here

seeing the ashes in my heart
the smile the widest
when i cry inside and my insides blow apart
i try to wear another face
just to make you proud
just to make you put me in my place
but everything you wanted from me
is everything that i could never be

the cities grow, the rivers flow
where you are, i'll never know
but i'm still here
if you were right and i was wrong
why are you the one who's gone
and i'm still here

maybe tonight
it's gonna be alright
i will get better
maybe today
it's gonna be okay
i will remember

i held the pieces of my soul
i was shattered and i wanted you
to come and make me whole
when i saw you yesterday
but you didn't notice
and you just walked away
'cause everything you wanted me to hide
is everything that makes me feel alive

the cities grow, the rivers flow
where you are, i'll never know
but i'm still here
if you were right and i was wrong
why are you the one who's gone
and i'm still here

the lights go out, the bridges burn
once you've gone you can't return
but i'm still here
remember how you used to say
i'd be the one to run away
but i'm still here


were you real
and were you here

it's scary when your pillar of support crumbles. SCARY! :
woke up at 10 and went to melb central at 11 to meet ian. just managed to catch the clock thing haha. yay. :) walked around, then went to church. annamae didn't go today.

worship was a bit weird (maybe it was just me), sermon was good. about sexual intimacy hmmmm. then the guy said there was a couple who had never held hands or kissed or do anything physical before getting married! i was like whoa.

heheh after church went to eat indian food at QV. i didn't really eat much. okay a bit of chicken and naan. i paid like 40cents for lunch lah. hurrr. went to safeway and got gingerbeer. ian wanted to get paul's milk (he claims it's nicer than pura but i don't believe), but it was out of stock! ha.

okay today was rather slack. i didn't feel like doing much. he gave up on trying to teach me. so we ended up drinking gingerbeer, talking about random things and listening to music. haha he listened to sebas' song and said it wwas nice! he said the guitar playing not bad and the voice was good! ahaha. i didn't want to tell him but decided to be nice since prelims are coming!! hahaha.

sigh what am i talking about. TRIALS are coming soon too! :(

and they are cutting down my uni money. by MORE THAN HALF. :\ i'm worried. :
hai okay i need to mug.


save tonight, fight the break of dawn
come tomorrow, tomorrow i'll be gone

last night there were guys singing with loudhailers. LOUDHAILERS. tonight there were china people shouting "hai zai hai zai" alternately (one guy and one girl), then screaming and laughing. i wanted to pour water on them. or throw a shoe.

haha. from chinchow's msn nick:
life is a 100% fatal sexually transmitted disease.
hurr.

today was a fruitful day! :) hehehe. did the two bio practs, finished english theme essay 1, read through physics atomic notes, studied chem energy, thermochem and redox. and washed a ton of dishes, soaked floorcloth and kitchen cloths, cleared the trash. ahaha.

i think my current living arrangement looks like i'm camping. hurr. photo up some other time.

tomorrow i need to go to church at 11.15 because ian is going. because he hasn't gone to church in one month. hurr. and the 6pm service is too late cos the last bus is at 9pm and there's no dinner. so i'm probably going to break my furniture famine a bit early. heh but it's okay. i don't mind sleeping on the floor one more night i think. ahaha. see if i have backache tomorrow first.

and i'm sleeping in shorts today! ahh winter is going away! j o y ~

the food famine people are so poor thing heh.

okay it's too late, i'm going to sleep already! :)


see the world from the floor

sus is so sweet for secretly giving me songs! x)

i made it through the night on the floor with 11.5 hours of interrupted sleep. woke up about 3/4 times i think. haha. it just feels like camping. slept outside instead of in the room. more space.

so i woke up at 2.30 and cooked lunch. i've tried cooking rice in 3 ways. haha. eating on the floor is a bit scary cos everywhere is carpetted. what if i drop food or ribena on it! :\ someone said carpet is a furniture. and told me to sleep in the toilet. -.-

talked to kor for 2++ hours last night. :) i mean this morning. on skype! heh it wasn't being irritating for once. there were people calling downstairs, and i can't use my internet phone, and using my handphone would be madness, so. skype.

hehe HAPPY BIRTHDAY CALEB!! :))

it's been a while since i've had to really think before replying someone on msn.

sorry jason i was sleeping! :\ HOW WAS IT?

okay i think i better do work already. it's almost 4 lah. :\


keep it simple, otherwise you won't do it.

i was half an hour late for math today. :(( FIRST TIME. because i woke up at 8.06am (math starts at 8). :( i was too paiseh to go in, so i hung around outside talking to dilys. then syahir came, and i went in with him. and shortly after, koney came. haha. our entire chem group.

10-minute power nap during line3. :) kept me awake through bio!

chem was a big mess. rushing to complete our presentation poster and calculations. :\ 5% of finals. oh well. the poster was quite cute lah haha. can flip the photo to see before/after. :D

i am happy today! feeling accomplished. :D i vacuumed the apartment, cleaned the kitchen (except for the stove. i forgot the stove! :\), tables, chairs, fan, toilet! which is practically the entire house. hahaha. YAY. a clean house looks happy. :) except for the stove! :
and for 40 hour famine [today 8pm - sunday 12nn], i've decided to not use furniture. heh. that means sleeping on the floor! that's partly why i vacuumed today haha. yup, two nights on the floor. and doing work on the floor also. i wonder how i'm going to be able to do work on the floor. hmmm. and eat and everything on the floor! hurhur.

WHO WANTS TO DONATE! $40 can support 8 kids for one whole month. you can buy a shirt or something, or help 8 kids get through another month.

nike is not eating for 40hourfamine. haha i said that if i did that, i would just faint on monday.

is forming a good impression with people that important?

why is it that i can dislike someone so much, yet with him/her i can be completely normal? and it feels normal. WHY?! it is so conflicting. ugh.


but now forever's come and gone
and i'm still here alone

it feels a bit strange to play the music right out of my comp instead of into my ear.

my fingertip looks like it has a blister on it.

i feel more accomplished today! even though it wasn't much work. ha.

chem assignment, physics worksheet (i really don't get it), a bit of math. okay it was really little. :
isn't it funny to give advice to people older than you, when you've never even been in that situation before.

some people get really weird when they're tired. and when songs take too long to send, they start spouting nonsense. hurr.

okay i will go and sleep now and hope i don't miss line1 tomorrow. or line2 or 4, for that matter. and especially not 5. CHEM ASSIGNMENT. i'm bringing watercolour colour pencils haha. okay they're already in my locker.

ALL THE BEST FOR MATH MOCK EXAM!


upside down and inside out

my goodness. looking at the things that happened today. i realised that i don't quite know how i feel. numb and indifferent. i need some new songs.

1. woke up at 7.40am and was 5 minutes late for math. thank God aiksern called to ask about CSIRO.

2. i've finally finished sheer abandon. no surprise endings.

3. our gel electrophoresis and e.coli results were really good. 1800+ colonies for the plate without ampicillin, and 164 for the one with.

4. compiling chem results was typical, kept changing our results. syahir is a mad scientist with hair to match. koney can get hysterical with laughter, so the group is quite hilarious. haha.

5. i can go broke just printing photos cos they increased the price. and the stupid bigW machines had to be spoilt yesterday ugh. and we need them for chem presentation tomorrow.

6. wanz moved out. i can't use my phone anymore because i have no router. that means i have to get a calling card to call kor tomorrow. and well her moving out means a lot of other stuff too.

7. i have to spring clean tomorrow. which is appropriate, since spring is coming soon.

8. rong got her box of stuff today. haha. two blog entries on it! xD i was just wondering whether any of the stuff i send back would get lost one day ha.

9. ian asked me what i was having for dinner. i replied DUN TELL YOU. and he bought dinner for me. because he happened to be in the city for his friend's 21st birthday dinner. oh. my. gosh.

10. once again, i haven't started work today. discipline = doing something you don't like but will benefit you.

11. i didn't hear anything from ____. i assume that means i was wrong and right. and the promise once made is now broken.


just keep swimming
just keep swimming

currently i am not caring very much. you are not there. words can't be taken back and things can't be erased. but yeah, i'm not caring very much. at this moment. i'll probably regret it tomorrow, when it's too late. ARE YOU DISGUSTED BY/WITH ME NOW.

talking to yurong just now was quite funny haha. very random. :D

i think i need morning walks to clear my head.

amazingly, i received a message today. from someone who hasn't talked to me in weeks.

talked to ___ just now too, what i heard/read scared me. because i always took that to be a constant, never thought it would fail me. it just goes to show that you can't count on these things. but the story was very sad. so very sad. :(

i think i'm sleep-deprived.

okay i'm regretting it already. i'm SORRY. :( i should just keep away from msn and my blog. 40 hour famine.

rong i owe you $65.


e s c a p a e *

birthdays are supposed to be happy things.
i officially declare my birthday pushed back 1.5 or 2 or 2.5 months this year.

today's wind was blow-me-away strong. i almost flew away.

haha diana is so funny lah. blogging in my tagboard. :D

i didn't do as well for math. :( as last time. AHHHH. oh well. at least now i know how to do already.

physics is jumping all over the place. but the diffraction gratings are interesting haha.

i don't know anything about nuclear power. except that australia has 40% of the world's uranium.

dihybrid cross. i can't remember anything.

did our chem assignment pract today. with syahir and koney. haha it was quite funny. cos we were devising ways and means of making the fire bigger. like using more than 50 matchstick heads, and sprinkling red phosphorus powder on top. haha the initial 'explosion' was really big, but in the end the water also didn't heat up very much. from 22 to 58. hurr. took photos in sepia mode haha. well it was fun at least. [i'm too lazy to explain]

was supposed to go and develop the photos after school, but the machines at bigW were out of order. and i was too lazy to go anywhere else. it was a blessing in disguise, really, cos after that i realised that i didn't bring my wallet out. ha.

went back to get my wallet, then went to melb central with peiling. went to the fujifilm place supposedly to develop my photos. BUT THEN. the guy totally pissed me off cos he was so darn RACIST. i wanted to scream in his face (yeah right, as if i ever could), but in the end i just walked off. HMPH.

and i am eating properly today. :D for once. hurrr. okay, food-wise. timing is a bit off. had lunch at 4.15 haha. oh well.

i skip one day every two weeks! which i guess is okay. but tomorrow will feel weird. or maybe i will, later.

run away!

haha i have stuff to tell huiru! but i can't cos this friday night i'm supposed to call kor. haha i think after that i will have no more money left in the phone lah. now i have $3.94 credit left. wowww.

hmmm read something and i wonder if that's what happened. hmm. but like my ISAT says, i come to conclusions too quickly. maybe that's not it at all. OH NO it's true. :
it's funny how people can say something (and mean it), and the next thing you know, they go off somewhere else and say something completely different. without meaning it. or maybe trying to mean it, but not quite there yet. and how you can have a completely different perception of how people see you. as compared to how they really see you. aren't both extremes wrong? either thinking that the world revolves around you, or that you're just a nothing. although you probably are, considering how everything is so big. OH NEVERMIND.

some people are good at hiding how they feel. it makes you wonder what people are thinking about you (and not telling you).

oh now i have rice which tastes NORMAL! yay-

live with the bare minimum.

i'm doing the 40 hour famine this weekend (fri night to sun). suggestions so far: go without furniture, talking, food, technology.. i don't know what to do.

i just knew it lah. okay i didn't. but really, why don't these things last? :(( it's so sad!





and i say yes,
you look wonderful tonight

diana! haha oh yeah. ms tan who taught us lit in sec2- the clay marble. rice grain pregnant with hope, fragments of a broken bowl, patchwork blanket. :D mdm lim taught us history? haha i can't remember. OH mrs peng's beads. :D smiley. hahaha.

kevin; rong is mad. she has been calling me zheh since sec3 lah my gosh haha. and she is OLDER than me.

rong WHY WAS THAT PHOTO WITH HER LAH no wonder i couldn't find it hahaha.

may- haha i think sometimes rong is nine years old. :p

i think what rong said may be true hahaha. first hand experience. but then maybe not also haha.

alternate between good days and bad days, and bad days turned nice by really sweet people. :]

woke up at 8am feeling exhausted. decided to only wear a normal jacket though it was 9 degrees. it would be warmer later on; WINTER IS COMING TO AN END whee~ [that means 3hour time difference soon]

met syahir and went to melb central station. $9.70 for a train ticket is really ?!?! xin tong. :( met angela jocelyn i-sen karen abdullah timothy nina dilys aida booncheng josiah and a few others there. took the 8.56am frankston train. read through the pract handout and slept on the way to highett.

reached highett and met mouli and elham and some other guy. walked to CSIRO. they have fishes painted on the road next to the drain. so weird lah. mrs richards was a bit late. hannah was later. josh totally didn't appear [haha what's new].

dumped our bags etc and went to the lab. it was actually very. i dunno. boring? but not really also. it's just that i'd done everything before (during life science camp) and it was more interesting last time some more. at least our e.coli could glow under UV light haha. this one is only ampicillin resistant. and did gel electrophoresis. i just knew abdullah would volunteer lah. hurr. they have weird bunsen burners. and the main thing seemed to be using the micropipettes.

brought our e.coli back to school to incubate. while waiting for the 12.45pm train, we looked through the contents of the 'goody bag' they gave us and found a tattoo of the stomach ulcer bacteria [i don't know what it's called]. haha we said that abdullah would probably immediately put it on. his face. ahaha. okay a bit mean. hurrr.

and there's this safety zone painted yellow in the train station. abdullah said if we were playing catching, that was the 'house'. syahir said if there's someone stalking you, you could just hop into the safety zone and you'd be safe. -.-

met the line7 group across the platform.

slept in the train. then everyone got off at flinders street and we thought the train didn't go to melb central. so we got out and checked and it did. so syahir abdullah dilys went back into the train. and started talking about sea monkeys. haha super funny lah. syahir wants a pet. haha. ONE sea monkey. i said that the manual said they needed friends. haha.

a lot of people here have cats and dogs at home.

went back to hostel with syahir while abdullah and dilys went to school for mathA lesson. felt like sleeping.

went to school for line8 english. left at like 2.13 so i thought i'd be late so i took the shortcut. i don't like it. but well. met omar along the way.

the wife of martin guerre is a lot more interesting than unsung heroes.

went back to hostel and did laundry. practised, and cooked dinner. haha. accomplished in some ways. definitely not in terms of schoolwork. ugh.

trials timetable is out. physics is the first paper. what is their problem lah. just because it was last for midyears means it has to be first for trials?! UGH HOW.

and ian wants to know whether arm hair is controlled by a dominant or recessive allele. my windows live messenger doesn't like him.

okay i'm going to try to eat properly and drink properly. i wonder if it's possible for me to not be addicted to coke. or lift. ha.

oh yes. didn't even use gloves for the genetic engineering, i might be covered with e.coli for all i know. sigh. stem cell seminar tonight which i'm not going for. WHYYYY. bleah. just as well. do WORK.



a tribute to my nine-year friend. :D hahahaha.
you don't have to read the whole thing because it is so darn long haha.

primary school: [i cannot remember already lah]
- you and your weird games with paul cheng YIJIE chinghow haha and maybe cai and fat egg too. :D
- playing retarded games during pe like catching: running around the covered play area with the spaces on either side of the bookshop being the 'houses'
- sports day (pri3) when my mum kept taking really unglam photos of you instead of me hahaha
- the weird pointless pole game which you claim you and steffi and woeixi and dunno who else ruled
- leaving water bottles outside the classroom
- mrs kong the scariest teacher!
- i forgot where we had to run to for fire drills, but i remember the running. ahaha :D
- hopscotch!
- having announcements after recess either in the canteen or the porch (what a weird time for announcements)
- freaky but nice science teacher ms gaw (she always gave us little stickers to collect points)
- mental sums!! oh my. i always cmi and get scolded by mrs kong :- silent reading before school (alternate chinese and english)
- mrs kong's bus monitor system
- pri3 swimming pe!! :D jumping over sticks into the water. i remember i kicked chinghow accidentally hahaha SORRY! xD
- you came for my pri4 birthday party :D haha. and LIED that you couldn't swim cos you were having a fever when actually it was cos your mum didn't allow you to. ha.

secondary school:
- 1B with all sorts of random people like tan shu liang (who got some teacher fired) and DAVID LEONG your beloved lab partner ahahahahah :D
- lionel (you remember who?) lit the bunsen burner for me!! haha okay this is oops.
- TAM YU FUNG haha i am revealing all your lovers!
- artclub with may :) mdm lim! haha
- mdm kamala (english teacher) who had us streamed at the end of the year
- mr lee yew meng who remembers all of us by our sec1 classes :D
- ms hasina who made us copy science notes like mad
- i cannot remember our math teacher anymore who was it?!
- read and run: run two rounds around fairfield and acjc

- one of four to 2A :) with diana and yuming and me. and you, your other friend. hurr
- VALENTINES' 2002 :D YOU THREW IT AWAY!! is it. i can't remember. hahaha. i can't remember how it happened. i gave mine to zhiyao who gave it to his mum. :D:D:D
- slurrrrr fetish x) and adding batik dye to it somemore and getting shuwei's brother scolded haha
- mcdonalds shoe. the lady helping us glaze it poured glaze into it cos we didn't tell her there was a hole underneath and the glaze splashed all over her shoes haha. we aspire to be like mcdonalds hahaha
- sec2 level camp: gel2xcel, same bunk and LIGHTSTICKS!! whee~
- moving to commonwealth. nice top floor classroom with aircon and doors :D and jungle-themed decor which all got stolen by jealous 2I's or something
- making our san1 gen1 video! YOU REMEMBER!! we went to the toilet in the A block (alternate floors girls and guys) and filmed our ghost video with yuming diana.. the creaky door and leaky tap and hair down and we left the camera stand in the background haha.
- okay we watched san gen with clara daixuan (??) and totally got freaked out
- your mum was always watching for you from the window! and she will call me when she can't get you! your dad also! hahaha

- sec3 sitting right in front of the teacher's table and using it to put our books
- forever turning back to ask joseph and irwin how to do amath (okay maybe that was just me cos i was DUMB)
- people using boxes as lockers under their tables
- everyone else just leaving books under the table
- quarrelling with zhiyao and edwin everyday :D
- EDWIN OWES MAY $8 it is 3 years overdue and she should charge interest
- you crazy always run so fast
- i hated the track
- winning the national day banner competition! :D xiao hong dian. haha.
- LIMSTERS was formed and you were despo to get in. hahaha
- sodexho's horrendous food
- singing 'nobody likes me everybody hates me' before chinese oral and saying that if we didn't know what to say, we'd say the chinese pledge
- our dunno what project where we had to build a house and do weird things with data loggers. glass wool etc etc (that means cannot remember)
- threeA our way
- fiesta@fairfield! all the prep with tamiya cars and ice blended and posters and balloons, selling cookies and washing cars to earn capital, getting to use our phones in school for two days. :)) you going around with the AA balloon hat :D

- moved back to dover and didn't have ground floor fixed classrooms. :( the new move-around system that wastes time
- getting locked out of ms ng's class
- rushing down to the canteen for recess, gobbling down our food and rushing back to locker and then to class
- got locked out by ms mano also haha. mookaiah manonmani :D stupid compres and compos
- mathew lim and all the weird chem things :D
- kicboa
- ra story (dic went to OG to buy PC for manga)
- king nathan can make aeroplanes zoom from sydney probably hiding camels around australia
- having chem class tests every tuesday (with the answers on the board behind the screen)
- always forget to get pipette pump from locker
- lab partner: TIMOTHY LIAU
- not doing our CME skit haha
- mr lim sh super boring physics lessons
- mugging for chinese O's with diana yurong ashley at kap
- ms koh was mark's form teacher AND his classroom was one classroom away from ours haha
- playing neopets during orca in the comp lab
- doing some competition survey thing as a class, with the answers on the board :D
- tile painting!
- BUSKATHON~ :D learning our first steps from huiling in the bus
- studyskills! memorising weird stuff and speed reading etc. i hope you dance~
- mugging for O's and taking O's!
- always go hv until i was sick of it haha

first three months:
- crashed jj haha. went to stand with your class and your teacher thought i was from another class :D learnt how to draw the electrons in the boxes (which i don't need to know here)
- jj assembly must turn to face the flag one so weird. and i didn't know lah. so scary haha. (hello in SA last time the flag was all the way at the side lah and no one on earth turned)
- brought you to see SA and the 'haunted' passageway (which odac used) and collect my SA tees
- went to my house to dance haha
- SA had campus rumpus which earned much more money than jj's funfair HAHA
- crashed pj with yurong and got stared at by her teacher. :D haha. and in pj LTs cannot sms one cos no reception
- after that went to eat those wafer icecream and went to town :D

j1:
- same class AGAIN ohmygosh lah how many years
- nine
- JASON
- a million other eye candies and poor boys (because you are a paedophile haha) but not as important as the above mentioned
- going to kap to mug with diana and jason hahaha and ended up playing the game of life at my house
- i went to your house just to watch the 9pm chinese show and your parents must have thought i was mad. :\ and then we were scared of trees (okay what was behind the trees) while you were walking me to the bus stop haha
- doing jason's book at queensway and NOT HEARING YOUR PHONE so he came and saw lah aiyo
- going to ren's house :) PATIO
- morning worship
- sentosa for yingma's and emily's birthday
- how on earth did we end up being the ones to get their birthday presents lah. thanks for helping me collect money :)
- countless shopping trips in town
- gown shopping with kanesh choosing all the most revealing clothes for you to try like the BALLET dress haha you should wear that to prom!! :D
- mug mug mug
- ya1 fan4 jia1 ji1
- haribo!
- wasting time in the sc
- bargaining with mr fong for stuff from the co-op :D kanesh was banished haha
- ms ong is so nice she gave me a three-hour cosultation! :D with HINTS
- mdm lee's constant 'if chemistry is not your cup of tea' at the beginning of each tut
- always copying notes for sebas and kevin during lect
- plucking sebas' white hair after lect hahaha
- kevin's indo chips :D
- taking forever to move anywhere
- PW AND GOVIN AND KANG ugh ugh ugh!!!
- banner painting for national day
- the TWINS with the same hairstyle: nick chew and lee rong rong!
- mars tickling you while singing college hymn! HAHAHA :D
- zha wanton on tuesdays
- taking 61 home and you insisting that i sit but i would sometimes stand the whole way :p
- going to harbour and eating XXL chicken/ macs
- sebas' birthday surprise which wasn't such a surprise cos caleb was wearing RED
- jason came back and rong was elated :D:D hehehe
- staying over at ren's house the night before symbolic move
- i cannot remember already. too many things.

j2:
- new campus. so weird and white. i always get lost.
- new mixed rice stall. not nice.
- gallery without SAINTS
- ms ngiam (who still remembers me yay!)
- mdm hoh hahaha "why doesn't the moon fall and hit the earth?" "because the moon is falling towards the earth at the same rate as the earth is falling away from the moon."
- popular
- i kept ponning physics tut with kevin cos i was TERRIFIED of mdm hoh and her weird rule of making people stand. yup and went to eat mcwings instead. :D
- i had several "last pe's" with mr tan and the class got to play games instead of run, but i went to run anyway
- aiyah i was only in school for 3 weeks so sorry i'm extremely outdated. :- surprise party :)))

june06:
- supper after i touched down :) at serene macs
- towning/ shopping/ neoprints
- going to school everyday and sleeping while you all had BT2 haha
- fingerprint attendance thing (which is retarded)
- billy bomber's

haha okay that was long. but there are still a ton of things missing. HOW DO YOU FIT NINE YEARS INTO ONE BLOG ENTRY LAH. haha. but i can't remember a lot also. my brain isn't functioning properly because i slept for only 3hours last night. it's a miracle i'm still awake now.

i hope you had a great day today. with the scrapbook and everything. :D i hope your present doesn't disappear while flying to you. haha.

h a p p y b i r t h d a y !
<3
pink is so your colour. hahahahaha.


you grew up way too fast
and now there's nothing to believe

why are good days always followed by bad.

i resisted the urge to say 'are you crazy?!' why do you stress me while saying i don't need unnecessary pressure? why do you think it's possible? can you please stop STRESSING me already. i don't want to talk to you. go away. ugh.

it's no wonder sometimes i feel i'm so fortunate to be able to breathe. it's a joy to be able to breathe fresh air here. the whole of melbourne smokes and drinks and everything. if i walk back with those people everyday i will die of lung cancer. either that, or irritation. she made 6 people wait for half an hour for her. i should have just walked back first. rather than breathe in all that stupid second-hand smoke.

don't tell me what to do. i feel like ARGHHHHHHHHHHH. i am going to explode soon.



name
goo goo dolls

and even though the moment passed me by
i still can't turn away
i saw all the dreams you never thought you'd lose
tossed along the way
letters that you never meant to send
lost or thrown away

and now we're grown up orphans
that never knew their names
we didn't belong to no one
that's a shame
you could hide beside me
maybe for a while
and i won't tell no one your name
and i won't tell 'em your name

scars are souvenirs you never lose
the past is never far
did you lose yourself somewhere out there
did you get to be a star
and don't it make you sad to know that life
is more than who we are

you grew up way too fast
and now there's nothing to believe
and reruns all become our history
a tired song keeps playing on a tired radio
and i won't tell no one your name
and i won't tell 'em your name
i won't tell 'em your name



help.


the vietnamese guy is staying in my pink room now. at the end of the year, it's going to be painted blue. and i have to stay in jib's room with celeste. with the big double decker bed. THERE IS NO SPACE HELLO. and how am i supposed to stay up late if i am sleeping with her. unless she sleeps upstairs.

i can just fail my trials and finals.

okay i don't know what to say anymore.


f a i r f i e l d* o u t i n g !
yay today was a happy day!! :D

slept at about 4am right, and woke up at 10.30am. went to church. worship was goooooood. :)) oh my. haha.

went to buy some food and lunch and came back for about 20 minutes. then went to melbourne central to meet ian. i just missed the big clock chime thing lah. haha. but oh well, plenty of opportunities to see it. it chimes every hour. haha.

i am happy cos it was better than expected! :) hehehe. i can leh!! :D:D:D

did random stuff like spy and flip through vogue (not me) and look at a primary school photo and of course, talk about fairfield.

then at 5.50pm, we went out. he was supposed to meet kathryn barbara e-lin and darren feng for dinner. hahaha. FAIRFIELD OUTING!! (missing grace and annamae and ziyang) and he convinced me to go. went to 7-11 first, then walked to lonsdale to show him taylors college, then walked down hardware lane and down to elizabeth. then completely changed direction and walked to arrow on swanston. met annamae along the way. heh.

met kathryn and e-lin outside arrow. it was so funny lah. kathryn kept asking e-lin "is it is it is it? is she fawn?" hurhur. do i look that different. it hasn't even been TWO years! but then again, i haven't talked to her since pri6 i guess. heh. barbara was still changing and darren was in church (planet shakers), so ian went to use the arrow toilet (he used to stay there).

then we walked to lygon (the italian pasta and gelato place in melbourne). met barbara there (she saved me! someone to talk to. :]) and she took us to some cafe place. haha i really don't know the name. talked about old times and old people while waiting for darren to come. like khong guan and couples etc etc. haha. ordered drinks first. banana spider. :D haha.

darren is really weird. when ian introduced us (i dunno why, since we know each other), he went "yeah i know her, we used to sit next to each other in pri2, remember?" !!! no we didn't lah. i don't think he was even in my pri2 class lor. only pri3 onwards. hahaha. and then when ian mentioned antelope, he remembered that he used to call me that! hahaha super funny lah.

anyway. ordered some cheese pizza, a marinara pizza, and carbonara pasta. the guy mixed our carbonara with some other order, so we each got a bite of it (from kathryn) before he realised it and came to switch. haha. the food was not bad. :) kathryn wanted to treat, but e-lin and barbara snatched the bill from her and kathryn ian darren e-lin split (no small change). and so barbara and i paid for the gelato. :) i didn't eat though. because i was only wearing a thin jacket and i was already freezing. haha. took some funny photos which i might post if/when kathryn sends them over. :)

poor barbara was trying to mug anatomy during dinner. :\ all of them are in uni!! my my so fast. kathryn's in US though, not sure where exactly. her uni is all-girls, which i think is quite sad. ahaha. :D anyway she's here for holiday. :)) e-lin, barbara and darren are all in melb uni. ian is in monash, but wants to transfer to melb uni. and grace dear is in monash clayton!! that means that if i get into medicine i will get to see her!! :)) hahaha. IF [a big one].

it was about 10pm and darren left first. haha he said bye to me and everyone was like "he remembers you!" haha so weird. and then barbara had to go too, she has her big test tomorrow at 9am! then kathryn e-lin ian and i walked back to arrow, then said bye and ian walked me back to hostel. then his train schedule was going mad but he finally got an 11.30pm train. he is gonna reach home soo late.

and yup. it was good. :) like REAL people for once. i think fairsians rock okay!! x) hahaha. no i mean it. like even people like darren feng lehh [haha]. so different from anyone else here. different from saints too. i think. but i guess it's too early to say. it's weird to think that i've known darren feng and kat chew as long as rong. hahaha. and that i've known ian for like less than two months. hmmmmm. what does that say about me.

and i saw aiksern's brother at arrow! so weirdddd. [okay major overusage i'm SORRY! limited vocab okay go ahead and laugh at me it's okay cos today is a happy day!] like he recognised me or something. but why should he when it's my first time seeing him. weirddd. ha.

tomorrow is gonna be a blur because i am sleeping for like 4 hours! :\ OH WELL. hahaha still happy anyway. :))

i think sebas and i are alternating the times we go out lah. aiyo. i don't see why anyone would want to sign on to army anyway. what a horrendous idea. hurr.


you see you see you see! exactly what i mean. :(

why is everything so conditional. why does the world work this way. why am i so obvious. stupid stupid.

of course things can't go your way sometimes. but it can't happen all the time, can it? prove me wrong.

why do you build me up, buttercup baby
just to let me down, and mess me around


and i'll do anything you ever
dreamed to be complete

i had icecream!! for the first time in forever! haha okay since singapore. :) was quite frozen since i wore flipflops out, but well. it was good nonetheless. although trampoline's banana is better. ha.

JASON I'M SORRY FOR DAOING. :((

kor i'm sorry for daoing also. :( i think ashley is the person i can be most honest with! LIFELONG. okay that has become a big issue for me.

ugh. sometimes i just get so irritated with myself.

hardly touched it today. what on earth am i going to do tomorrow. especially if ___'s moody. :\ scary!

why i don't initiate conversations is partly because i am terrified of silence too! like if the other person is moody and blows me off. or doesn't want to talk and there is SILENCE. or if the conversation stagnates. :
95

thank you sus for my island home!! :))

i realised how all the national day songs are full of propaganda hahaha. but i still like them anyway. x)

contemplating doing work now. AIYAH. okay write essay. i actually tried revising bio for some weird reason, but gave up after mrs grena and kingdom phylum class order family genus species. which is practically nothing. *clapclap*

i want to try but i'm not really trying. in more than one way. how?!

and kor is so sweet can. CONTRARY TO BELIEF.

read and heard about planet shakers concert. FCBC. hurrr. m e m o r i e s. of marine parade, walking along the fountain as a kid, going to the nursery to pick celeste up after sunday school, 7-11, the sanctuary for leader's retreats, trips to places like port dickson and desaru for zone retreats, then moving to bukit merah, chicken wings, claypot chicken rice, rats, barnabas club, jessica, charissa, the bookshop, prayer and praise, the unseen musical, practices at marine parade, acjs, queensway, the indoor stadium, memorising entrances, full day rehearsals, weird trashbag costumes and face paint, climbing up gantries and taking care of little 'disease' kids. how 5 years can compare to 13.

actually i can go for a planet shakers concert every week, ha. except that i don't know exactly where melbourne town hall is.

you see i'm still slacking. !!!!!!!

go on, say i didn't, and don't bother either.


foundations-
why do you build me up
buttercup baby
just to let me down
and mess me around
and then worst of all
you never call baby
when you say you will
but i love you still
i need you more than anyone darlin'
you know that i have from the start
so build me up, buttercup
don't break my heart


x: "are you more angry than you were last year?"
x: "become a bit more sour, more angry, a bit more heartless, a bit colder."


i turn to you
christina aguilera

when i'm lost in the rain
in your eyes i know i'll find the light
to light my way
and when i'm scared and losing ground
when my world is going crazy
you can turn it all around

and when i'm down you're there
pushing me to the top
you're always there
giving me all you've got

for a shield, from the storm
for a friend; for a love
to keep me safe and warm,
i turn to you
for the strength to be strong
for the will to carry on
for everything you do
for everything that's true
i turn to you

when i lose my will to win
i just reach for you
and i can reach the sky again
i can do anything
cause your love is so amazing
cause your love inspires me

and when i need a friend
you're always on my side
giving me faith
that gets me through the night

for a shield, from the storm
for a friend; for a love
to keep me safe and warm,
i turn to you
for the strength to be strong
for the will to carry on
for everything you do
for everything that's true
i turn to you

for the arms to be my shelter through all the rain
for truth that will never change
for someone to lean on
for a heart that i can rely on through anything
for the one who i can run to
i turn to you



a HUGE thank you to my friends
for being there despite the distance,
for listening to all my nonsense,
for the random smses,
for the msn convos,
for the tags and blog entries,
for sending me stuff,
for taking the time,
and all the other little things.

the sweet things that come just at the right moment. you might not know it, but it makes a great difference to my day. :) thank you for making life bearable. [even though i always complain]

i love you all!

<3

[edit]
okay let me be more honest here.
though you guys may not always be there,
thanks for the times that you are.
most of the time it's my fault anyway.


i woke up at 7.45am today! when school starts at 8am hahaha. yay me. BUT i was only ten minutes late. hurr. didn't feel like going at all but. well. i didn't want to get my first green card of the year. okay, of my life.

kept falling asleep in physics. like for a few seconds at a time. cos he showed us this immensely boring dvd of the photoelectric effect. and more than half the class was sleeping lah. and i heard that in the line4 class, he was sleeping too. hahaha.

right after that, i went to the library with nike, wrote a few sentences for english and then we both koped pillows from the sofas and slept. :D

and there is this huge pile of dishes to be washed. hai. well i'm going to wash them for me and not for you because i'm not the one who goes around giving away other people's spoons and bowls. (3 out of 4 of the white bowls have disappeared, I WONDER WHY. and two normal spoons and one chinese spoon too.)

addicted. i give up trying to give up already. it's impossible. maybe it will fade in a while. only it's lasted too long already. :
my fingers don't feel so weird anymore. :)

so hold on to the ones who really care
in the end they'll be the only ones there
and when you grow old
and start losing your hair
tell me who will still care
can you tell me who will still care


ra story, kicboa, king nathan.

it's almost friday, and i don't feel like doing everything i need to. i don't feel like doing what i should. i just feel like showering.

annie came over and cooked, then we went to safeway and her house. she stays with clarice and charge, i just realised today. haha.

I WANT TO STRANGLE MSN NOW. UGH. and windows messenger is so primitive. hai.

and i really hate the water heater. why is the water COLD for goodness' sake. i want to go home.

and rong i wasn't entertaining you. it was just conversation haha. rong keeps spying people on friendster. and she's a bit slow in finding out people's bfs. haha. i'm in australia and i knew earlier than her lah my gosh. hahaha.

i think my brain isn't working very well. it's 1am and i just showered! wowwww. haven't even started on work. isn't this brilliant or what.

sometimes it's just nice to talk to someone who speaks in the exact same way as you do. familiarity with a stranger.

okay i finally finished chem. leaving english till tomorrow because i think i will really die if i don't sleep soon.

i realised that the only thing i remember about electrolysis from mathew was the rule for molten state reactions: what you see is what you get. :D haha. i would love to have my sec3/4 chem notebooks with me now lah. i think that the chem teachers here don't teach at all. all they do is help you fill in the blanks in the study guide.


take take take it all
take take take it all


today went by rather uneventfully.

i have no idea what's happening in math. lines of best fit and residuals. lines that look like they're straight but actually they're not. linearising them.

physics is just revision. again. does he know what he's teaching. i thought positive charges don't move. played around with an electroscope. it's like secondary school.

i don't know anything about gene therapy for cystic fibrosis.

is haemophilia caused by the absence of factor VII or VIII? SA notes say VII, but mrs richards claims it's VIII. i'm confused.

electrolysis. i think it's better than galvanic cells. but i'd still rather do mole any day.

went to look at the formal photos. those that were taken at some special place i didn't know existed. so of course my photos weren't there. yay. haha. nike had a lot. and syahir had one super unglam one with him staring right into the camera. and he kept telling people that he didn't have any, then i would point it out. hahaha.

english lesson was interesting. :) bertrande de rols and martin guerre. so much better than unsung heroes.

came back to hostel and went to s e n d. :) i'm broke.

supposed to have dinner with annie today cos she doesn't feel like cooking. told her about ____.

anyway i talked to army on msn just now, she said we have a new student. as in foreign student. staying in my house. i just hope it's not in my room. :\ apparently he's 15 and from vietnam, and he is filthy rich. and his mum is some spa and cosmetic queen in vietnam. and his dad said my mum can have half a spa free if she visits. ha. but he couldn't be staying in my room, could he. :\ it's PINK. :\ i really hope not.

and army is super funny lah. she went to look at seventeen to find sebas hahaha. :D

Proverbs 13..My Utmost for His Highest! says:
ya... i was curious so i picked up magazine to check it out.... aiyoh... eye liner!
this is the 2nd time he is interviewed right

hahaha. :D

and everyone had a holiday again. THREE DAYS. i also want lah. RAHHH.


she is so FAKE can. hello stop acting already. i'm trying to summon my remaining sanity to be civil. my eyes might betray me though, they can talk. ha. it might just happen. i hope it does. and quick. oh just tell me to my face, will you. didn't you think the word would get out. my only problem is that i can't survive without a microwave.

thankfully though, it's not as bad as it would have been a couple of weeks ago. :)

sometimes you just can't do things to aggravate the situation. even though there isn't really anything, that doesn't stop people from thinking there is. and sometimes when there is something, people think that everything's all peachy.


msn is doing weird things, so if i appear to not reply, i apologise in advance. either i couldn't see what you said, or you couldn't see what i did. it's just being a weirdu.

i'm sorry if i stole your words. but they just make too much sense. much more than anything else has in a long while.

isn't it just weird to not know how 'my island home' sounds like? like who wouldn't right, except some weird people. and i haven't been able to completely wash the 'singapore' off my face. so it's still there, but a very faint pink.

i love xiex for smsing last night. :)) totally made my day! yay! :)

i'm going to be late for school today. on purpose. i just don't feel like it.


far away

you know-
that i love you
i've loved you all along
and i miss you
been far away for far too long
i keep dreaming
you'll be with me
and you'll never go
stop breathing if
i don't see you anymore


copied the entire chem homework stuff off the comp. what's the point of asking such stupid questions. i don't care how the stupid battery works. i don't care about all the different types of cells and the advantages and disadvantages and uses of each type. it's just completely redundant.

i've not been able to properly mug in a long while. this is bad. and i've missed mentor group three times in a row. that means 6 weeks. amazing. all the medicine people sitting together. and our names are going to be put on some list. ha.

apparently this year's NDP was really short. how were the fireworks?

lleufer: "happy dots day."
he likes to do weird things outside my english class and laugh at me.

a lot of stuff to say but the words won't come.

tomorrow is photo day. i hope there aren't unglam ones of me in that stupid newspaper game. line6/7.

i just want to run away. take me with you when you go.


okay i take that back.

make allowances. i was told that i looked very sad yesterday.

hmmm i guess it would be better to be more careful with words.

handed in the census form and went for morning tea with dilys. :) most people were late. including the principal. i think he's quite a nice man, he kept making jokes and asking people where they came from. maybe he doesn't write his own letters.

got our certs and then took year10, april year11, jan year11, year12 and mufy photos. then had the 'tea', which was coke/ fanta/ schweppes/ juice and donuts/ cream puffs. haha. then we took photos by country. so sad for those who were the only ones from wherever. thankfully, there was cheryl and andrew ang too. except that andrew was wearing PINK and white and didn't look national-day-ey at all.

tried to do english during line7, but ended up reading sheer abandon instead. i'm still not done.

went to find heather, she wrote 'singapore' on my face. and then went for english. started the wife of martin guerre. interesting story. heh. and at the end of the lesson, mrs B asked me what i had on my face. haha. and she said so sad, we didn't have holiday and couldn't celebrate here. and i said that they had a holiday yesterday too. hurr. and she asked me to have a good day.

went down with cheryl heather sharon and stood downstairs talking to dimple sonali and some other guy who was also wearing red and white. sonali was wearing purple and black. she said that since she didn't wear red and white in singapore, why should she wear it here.

they're going max brenner's tonight. i love max brenner's but i don't want to go.

and sebas made use of a survey to talk bad about me lah. hmph as if he not irritating lor. always ask people to call in the middle of the night when they want to sleep. and when they have tests the next day and it's not a holiday.

what's normal, and what's not? how do i sound. facade.

okay i need to get food rather desperately. i have nothing to eat and nothing to drink.


today is just the wrongest day in forever.


now everything looks black and white
you've taken away the clear blue skies

oh no. peiyu put an ugly photo of me on her LJ. :\ haha. and i can't help but think that i'm everything you wouldn't want to be.

thanks anyway sis! :) reply me soon okay. <3 i'll probably need it.

waited until like 11.20pm to shower because the water was too cold before that. and so i wasted like most of my night. doesn't feel too bad though. maybe because it's national day eve. well it's already 9th aug here, but not in singapore. i'm waiting for it. [and so this post is set to singapore time]

sometimes talking to someone is all you need to cheer you up. it's a bit strange to think of all the what-ifs.

screaming aloud won't help
but it makes me feel better
nothing compares to this

priorities. who's more important? and is it worth it? CAMOUFLAGE. they won't notice anything anyway. so what's the point.

it's difficult to be completely honest with anyone. impossible i think. for me. like how are you supposed to tell someone they're hurting you? i just couldn't. camouflage.

sometimes you just think that the combination is so weird. and guess what's missing. other times you hear stuff from other people and wonder how it's been twisted before it got to you. or maybe you wonder if it's true. highly unlikely.

subdued. too bad you couldn't.

propaganda isn't completely useless.


happy birthday singapore


i know my heart has always been
and will be there with you.

please watch the fireworks for me.


p a p e r
daphne khoo

reflections on the water
i share with you on my blank paper
call out your name as if i don't know you
or i've had you replaced

were you real and were you here
what's this feeling that i fear
open up and make things clear
did you love me

screaming aloud won't help
but it makes me feel better
nothing compares to this
why are we still here
shouldn't we have moved
but still we stay
i cannot be with you
let me go

the scars upon your head
pierce through my soul
yet i can't love you
the way that you love me
why can't you see that like this
we can't last

trust me, we will be just fine
let go of those feelings you feign inside
i know in just a matter of time
we'll be fine

screaming aloud won't help
but it makes me feel better
nothing compares to this
why are we still here
shouldn't we have moved
but still we stay
i cannot be with you
let me go

were you real
and were you here
what is this feeling that i fear

screaming aloud won't help
but it makes me feel better
nothing compares to this
why are we still here
shouldn't we have moved
but still we stay
i cannot be with you
let me go


why can't everyday be a happy day. why don't people think before they talk. or write. or type. why don't people think at all.





mmmbop!

i figured out what i was missing - my results! ha. they'll be out on 8 dec. and uni offers..? i don't know. oh well. internet cafes. heh.

haha mianqiang! :D

i realised that i forgot how to say the pledge. i tried and just couldn't remember the words. wow. so weird. haha.

didn't do much math. :\ arrggghhhh.

copied chem off the comp. but at least i can write the equations. i think. as long as i don't have to memorise them.

and that is ALL i've been doing! oh, and looking for singapore songs hahaha. okay i've gone a bit mad. but you all aren't away, so it's different. even ___ is wearing red on wednesday. haha.

so misleading. i don't really know what to think, either. nothing is best. think nothing! it's probably nothing in the first place.

did the census thing just now. it's like some survey by the australian bureau of statistics.

if you drink about 3 cups of water a day, you're probably dehydrated. okay definitely. howww please drink more water thank you.

i think i need to do laundry soon cos i have no more clothes to wear. alternatively, i can always buy more. ha. nice alternative. except that i have no more money! but well i'm going to get a red top anyway.

it is so early but i'm tired and i'm going to sleep. besides, math test line1, can't afford to be late. or sleepy. since i didn't really prepare much. :
guess what, today marks a hundred days.


sad songs that make you happy

tata emailed me. :)) so unexpected. i am so happy! :))) little things that make my day. :) but i miss them so much. :((

and aunty helen sent me seventeen. my gosh, she is so nice. and it was the august issue, which had may's tinyredbird and sebas in it. haha. not autographed though. but really. thank God for all the nice people in the world.

okay school day.

math- revision for tomorrow's test. i didn't know how to do anything except simple normal distribution questions. anything with binomial, just forget it. i need to mug math later.

physics- finished going through the test and he went through something about light. it was more of revision actually. reflection, refraction, interferance, diffraction, that kind of thing. then switched off all the lights and closed the blinds and he switched on the laser and sprayed some mist thing to show us that light travelled in a straight line. haha quite cool.

line3- went to the library with aiksern and borrowed the "gene therapy for cystic fibrosis" reserve book from the nice asian librarian. managed to finish the report (something like a PI) just in time.

bio- looked at red-eyed and white-eyed and vestigial-winged drosophila under some binocular microscope. she taught some more about codominance or something. i'm quite confused cos the terms are different from last time. like blood type O is supposed to be 'I^o' right. but here it's just 'i'. because it's recessive. what stupid nonsense. sigh.

chem- can't remember. some boring thing about galvanic cells (again). homework. we have to do an assignment (5% of finals) next week. how horrendous. bio and chem assignments UGH.

line6/7- did english and ate and sent gattaca. :) may it's on the way! :) heh. didn't have enough cash to send it and the woman said "the minimum for debit/eftpos/whatever is $10." so ugh i went off to find some other nonsense to buy haha. but i think i'll use it next time i send something lah so it's okay. :) oh and before that i checked my letterbox [i miss my old mailbox. it has no lock haha. and it's big so you can put whatever inside, as long as you can open the other side door. but no one looks. anyway i'm still not quite used to having one box in a sea of others and having to make sure i have the right number.] and found the big envelope from aunty helen. :) it's a bit weird to get stuff from people whose handwriting you don't recognise haha.

english- finished writing the first paragraph and started on intros. i still have no idea whatsoever. supposed to read some pages of the wife of martin guerre for tomorrow but i don't know which pages. syahir said read the whole thing. there is no time hello.

after english came back and slacked for a while then went to melb central with heather cheryl sharon to get red/white clothes. heather is mad, she wants to steal everything that is red and white. like the chairs in melb central, the exit sign of the car park.. and she says every singaporean has to take the red and white tram to school on wednesday. OH and she wants us to paint a crescent and stars on our faces and say the pledge in school on wednesday morning. and if possible, set off the fire alarm and evacuate everyone, then sing majulah singapura in front of school. haha. i still don't have a red t-shirt though. tomorrow, tomorrow. after the dreaded math test. i don't want to break this record okay. so i have to mug.

save my fingers for tomorrow. and learn to make the most of the lin6/7 break, like today.

almost finished sheer abandon, pity it's due back tomorrow. that means i need to bring it back to school to renew it lah. and it's like how thick and heavy. almost as thick as campbell can. haha.

going to gold coast from 6-14 december. something is nagging at me from the back of my head but i just can't think what it is. AM I MISSING SOMETHING. :
okay go shower and MUG!